Missy is the best coach ❤

Thank you so much ❤❤

Our mother in spades -- full-blown pathological. Before I was even born, I became a scapegoat because she was pregnant and felt she couldn't leave Dad for failing to be a perfect father to her first-born, illegitimate daughter. Dad was a career military officer -- he was constantly gone -- so we kids were her punching bags, especially the youngest and I. Otherwise, she coddled her daughter and her middle son (she was a middle child) as golden children. Over the decades I stayed in the fold because "good children don't walk away". But, as I became a husband and father, I realized Mom never called, visited, or even sent a note just to say hello; and Dad was her enabler. After Dad died, Mom's cover/enabler was gone, so the real her was on parade. After walking in on one too many of her backbiting sessions, I quizzed my wife about Mom's conspicuous failure to communicate with us, and she confirmed I wasn't hallucinating, so from the point I left it up to Mom to call, visit, send a card, make a simple effort. She never did, except to run around to her suppliers and play the victim of abandonment.

I want to talk to u..need help.

Subscribers from 🇮🇳

This is one of the best informational videos on KZbin regarding this topic. I have literally spent last 6 years trying to learn about this topic. And now I'm finding your video in 2024, that accurately and succinctly outlines the major points of having experienced this. 💯kudos to you!!! Please hire a marketing team to widely share this information. This is the best information!! Hope your videos go viral! Learning this in my mid-50s.

You really summarized everything that goes through a persons mind who seeks validation. thank you❤️

Very helpful, thank you

🙂🙂🙂❤❤❤👍👍👍💯

_"I'm sorry, but...."_ That sums up the relationship between our mother and me. She was "Miss Information, the Queen of Envy", who projected the shame and embarrassment of her own failures onto her children, especially her scapegoats. It was insane living with her, then trying to include her in my own children's lives. Confronting her made things much worse. Eventually, it dawned on me that she resented everyone, everything we tried to do for her, every moment we shared. At 46, I finally walked away.

me and my life😢

I love when you said you know your truth.. that was always hard because I always wanted to defend myself, but thats what they want. So they Word salad you, and talk you in circles... its draining. Remember their feelings are facts, so no matter what they say they will come back 100xs harder.. they love this and we're left feeling broken.. try not to fall into it anymore.

Great video, Missy !! Keep it up, love from Portugal 🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹👍🙏💐

Theyr talking about them Dam Self

Unfortunately her influence in my life is still quite impactful. She still has a great amount of control over me. I am a 35 year old woman and I am independent financially and mentally as well however when it comes to my mother as she has a lot of narcissistic traits I have researched about her and assessed her behaviour she is extremely contemptuous and condescending she can't control what she speaks about me in front of others she has humiliated me on different occasions multiple times in front of unknown people even on the streets as well. She played as if she is the most righteous person who can't make any mistake and always caring and loving and respectful of others but I never respect her, she portrays me a vile, characterless, selfish, vindictive, unemotional person who only thinks about her money because she thinks she is the wealthiest person on earth and everyone is after her money, she threatens me if she ever done anything altruistic for me that since I didn't appreciate her work and kindness she is going to disown me from the property and for punishment she blocks me from all the social media and gives me silent treatment, I talk to her with all my politeness and affection try to understand her issues multiple times, sometimes she speaks in a nice way when her mood is pleasant but after that she all of a sudden brings up something and starts a vicious and exhaustive fight. I have no clue how to completely detach her from my life. Additionally my father is also a neglectful parent who was emotionally unavailable for me and never used to show any affection or communicated with me in a healthy manner so I am impoverished and ripped off because of not getting any sort of affection and love from parents who brought me in the world

33 👩‍⚕️🏋️‍♀️

Thank you 😢🏋️‍♀️👩‍⚕️

I love constroversy

Is this even healable?? I dont think so. Nothing broken ever heals back to 100%.

So validating! Thank you! ❤

Thank you

Now knowing everthing, what hurts wayyyy more is losing my dad and sisters who have always followed her narrative. I miss them but there's no way they will see my perspective

Gorgeous hair, I needed to hear this. Thank you. Learning so much about myself and healthy communication

Thank you, I feel like everything makes sense now. I am discovering that maybe I could have been brought up by a narcissistic mother, or at least with pretty strong narcissistic traits.. I've been feeling like the bane of my family for my whole life and didn't know why

❤ this was the best explanation

Thank you...I can relate

didn’t get emotional support but had to give to parents…. yep

this is such a good video thank you wow

I wish there was a way i can talk to you 1 on 1. I grew up in an abusive home & i have a narcissistic mom. Im having a mental breakdown at this very moment.. i just want to overcome this

Tonight i accepted the fact I can’t fix my relationship with my mom , so i decide to fix myself and god knows how i happy to see you’re video bc i just found out many of my serious problems comes from and i feel like ok someone understand thank you a lot ❤(i’m not a native English speaker if i had a mistake sorry)

Thank you for this entire series 🙏🏼

I still can't accept how low views Your videos get.

I can't imagine making decisions without consulting the woman I love; we are a team, and I need her input. I'm not perfect, and I need help. I need that input. I can't imagine not caring about her or her needs-talking with her, holding her, and respecting her. You never stop dating the one you love; you do so for life. No, you don't place someone on a pedestal; I just found it difficult to understand not giving her a break, allowing her to be herself, and understanding that we are both human beings who need friends and breaks. This is what drew me away from the narcissistic woman I knew; she would never allow me to approach her from behind, wrap my arms around her, kiss the back of her neck, and express my love for her. I couldn't live like that.

I'd love to share with you a strange story about a young woman I knew back in 1998 who had a lasting impact on my life. I was 21, and she was 16. She and her mother were covert/vulnerable narcissists. My mother was a single mom, and she had me and my brother, who had moved out, so we felt a kindred spirit with this young woman and her mother. I didn't get into a relationship with her, but I felt like they had "plans" for me to eventually marry this young woman. It's quite surprising that things didn't turn out the way I had hoped, whether it was due to pure chance or divine intervention. I wasn't in a committed relationship with her; after all, a 16-year-old can't date a 21-year-old, and her mother asserted that she couldn't date until she was 18 (although in our conversations, she shared stories of previous dates). My discovery of some old journal entries, previously believed lost, led me to your videos. I saw her around Thanksgiving last year, and she was certainly eyeing me (she is still very attractive). I think I may have ticked her off by either not talking to her or entirely remembering who she was until seeing her a few times at this event. I had taken my elderly mother to this event, and left her to shop, and I went around looking around by myself. Yet I kept my distance, thank God. Someone must have told me about her back then, but I never looked it up until now. Indeed, I was fortunate to escape a serious situation. I was the one who escaped, and she certainly enjoyed my company.

I was a child of a covert narcissist parent, he was very manipulative, depended on me financially, and was psychologically and emotionally abusive. I was homeless with him for a very long time in the past, and never really had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape that and had to go great lengths to get away from him, I was lucky to have known the people that supported me and helped me with that process, and letting me stay at their homes. At some point I went to go be with my extended family after they had found me on the internet, they flew me in first class to go be with them, and they thought I was a gift from grandma that passed away, I wholeheartedly felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. What seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my psychological wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how mentally difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, their love was like a benchmark, I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am, I would hear them say things like “but he wasn’t raised that way!” “oh it’s just gonna take time” , “I just think he just wasn’t raised properly” …and it felt like I had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I don’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. I can still remember how my aunt was like “you’ve been going on 3 months!!” …It feels unfair to me how my upbringing got robbed by a narcissist father and was something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related sibling got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’ and we never grew up together since we were born. My aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and said “why not come stay here?” She would ask this weird question “what are the advantages that you think you have of being here?” but in my mind I’m like ‘I didn’t come here just so I can gain some kind of material advantages or benefits, I came to have a life here with my family just like any other kid would’. I told her “I don’t know” , and she replied “then why did you come live with us honey?” …😑 I had unfortunately received some invalidating comments from others that I’ve tried to speak to about my trauma, they’ve said things like “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and another person said “you don’t seem to realize that you’re wanting a warped and distorted image of your family by wanting a life there with them” lol, and he called me a “poster child of emotional immaturity”. Even a former friend who I thought would always be validating of my experience, ended up going against me and said “well they raised your brother! they raised him and not you so he’s their kid!” and he laughed at me, and I’ve basically been labeled as having some kind of “sense of entitlement”. Isn’t every kid or young person deserving of what I believe to be the most basic, simplest thing that any young person could have, which is a family home or to simply live with one’s own blood family, in a home? With parents, caregivers, siblings, etc? Shouldn’t that the norm and standard for every kid or young person? But for some reason, I’m being considered by some people as bad, evil or wrong for trying to have that very thing with my own family, something in which I never really had growing up, a family home, one in which I could call, my home. So weird how my family led me on to believing that I could finally have that, only to kinda just seemingly get rejected or denied from it. This has all put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid seems to get to have a family home life with their families and siblings, I believe it is the most basic thing a kid or young person can have… I tend to think if my friends can live with their families, why can’t I live with mine? So in order for a kid or young person to live with his or hers own family they have to be born and raised into it? …I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said ‘how in the world can you not be allowed just the same if not more’. I just wanted a life there with my family, I wanted that to be my home, simply because it is the family home, why would that be a bad, wrong or reprehensible thing? I can’t believe that, I went through that whole process, of getting away from my father, and finally got to my extended family after my whole life of them not being in my life and going through a nightmarish life with a narcissist father, only for it to, pretty much, backfire on me? all because ‘they raised him and not me’… I thought I would be their kid too… guess I should’ve just stayed where I was at and not with my family… They bought a condo and now my brother is living in it for free… We never chose our parents. and I never chose this life…

They see their children as a way to get their needs met, regardless of what that need is, that is all any child is there for. They all have to feed her needs, in one capacity or another, or she'll drop them off at a corner somewhere. And that's pretty much any person in their life, or they wouldn't be in her life.

Don't underestimate the father figure in a little girl's world. He will be her first love, and if she's rejected by him because of narcissism or any other reason, you can trust and believe that's going to be one crushed little girl regardless of mommy issues.

You are helping so many people. Thank you ❤️

Ughhh everything is abandonment boooooo

Where is the link to the 6 step thingy?

Love the hair, genuinely

I learned this recently and how I would compromise myself to make others happy. Thank you for this!

You did a great job

Looking back, in my adolescence I truly believed I had a great relationship with my mom. Things fell apart my senior year of high school when I wanted to prepare for college and not only did she not help me AT ALL, she also stole the little bit of money I had managed to save from my waitressing job that was for college, the ONLY money I had. I left her and moved in with my brother and she ran off across the state with a man she had been talking to online. I’m 31 now and since graduating hs I’ve seen her maybe a handful of times. Once that happened and I got away from her I was able to see how manipulative she always was and narcissistic. Along with watching my dad fall victim to drug abuse and losing him, my world fell apart. I have a lot of trauma I’ve been trying to work through in life. I feel like I’m so ready to heal, but it’s definitely hard. I have held so much anger and resentment towards her. She wants a relationship and I call her every now and then (she won’t call me) just to keep her from going off about how she never hears from me. The phone conversations are shallow as I don’t share too much with her. I did try talking to her once and of course she did not take any accountability. Everything I’ve accomplished in my life since leaving her, I did without any help from her. Yet she still wants to act like she had something to do with it. Drives me insane.

What a babe 👀

My mother is NASTY

My mum told me I can starve if I run out of money today. I’m autistic, and have been dealing with chronic health issue and in and out of hospital three times this week. I am recently 23 but she’s been like this since I was young. She said im never allowed back into the family house. All of this stemmed from me admitting im thinking of changing my career path to something creative that aligns with me more and that im unhappy. The empty hugs. Yup. Invalidated. Empty all my life. I was depressed all my childhood and felt so “serious” and sad. I got bullied at school bc of my serious energy and I acted a lot older. She quickly got me in to get diagnosed with Asperger’s so that she could keep the narrative that I’m the problem, I think.

Thank you. Bless you for posting this. Greatly helpful ❤

Great vid