I’ll say something useful for you. You’re an idiot. An angry idiot no less

Hi there. You won’t be able to keep yourself calm in every situation, nor would you want to, you need your survival mechanism. But for times it’s misfiring it’s always good to either visualise the trigger, use your breathing and keep practicing. Or alternatively find something that triggers your emotional reaction at about 40% and use breathing and sit through the feeling. It’ll need practice, but eventually your body will learn that it can manage and doesn’t need the fight flight freeze response. Lastly identify early warning signs, do you notice your heart starting to race? Or your thoughts changing? Butterflies in your stomach etc? At that point you’ll be able to control your physiological reactions.

Thank you Sharon, those are really kind words. I’m just happy that this video has been helpful.

@@schematherapy6546 Yes, your video has been VERY helpful!

Hi, thanks for your question. Really the tempo isn’t that important, the crucial bit is that you’re controlling your breathing which in turn brings about physiological changes to your heart rate and nervous system. What you’ll find is that to begin with the pace of breathing will be fast, and through the exercise it will slow down. Just use whatever works for you but stick to the underpinning principles

Are you belly breathing or filling your chest. Chest breathing can lead to hyperventilation. You get 2 more gallons of air by filling your belly verses your chest.

It’s a skill you need to develop when you are fine and safe so you can be able to use it once you panic , I was there , it gets better

they think depression is linked to diet as well more green vegetables tends to change peoples mood.

There is a major correlation between attachment trauma and eating disorders and that result comes down to emotional dysregulation 🙏

hey i also have dpdr. how are you

@@vivi-uz7qq I have dpdr also...it stinks 😭

Hi hollyann, that's a really good question. Essentially you're correct if we're really in the throws of a full on FFF then we won't be able to regulate effectively and it'd need someone else's support to help with grounding techniques or breathing and so on. But for many people there are signs that FFF is coming on. For example if you have to attend an interview, or do some public speaking then that for most people isn't a full on emotional dysregulation, but it certainly is anxiety provoking and impacts our ability to access higher brain functioning - this can then compound the anxiety as we feel powerless to stop our physical reactions. In those circumstances we are able to use this technique to good effect. My other suggestion is that if someone is suffering from anxiety on a daily basis, then it would be a good idea to try this at various times of the day. Then if something is triggering you you then start from a much lower level of emotional arousal in the first place. If you walk around at a 7/10 and then something triggers you, you might increase by a 3 and then it's unmanageable. But it you can self-regulate to a 3 beforehand then you'll end up at a 6/10 and still be able to function and calm yourself down. Hope that all makes sense.

schema therapy thank you! If I’m understanding you correctly, then the only way to initiate a mental pause before instinctively reacting without reason would be to practice mentally rehearsing a potentially triggering situation as well as relaxation techniques before an actual event takes place so that your body learns ahead of time how to respond in a healthy way to an unhealthy occurrence. Is that correct? Thank you again!

Irish Slaves of course not, that would be ridiculous. But if you know you’re going into a situation that might cause you to feel anxious then you can use this to regulate your emotions beforehand. If some is prone to panic attacks then I’d suggest doing this at least twice a day to lower their overall emotional arousal.

@@schematherapy6546 how do we control it when it happens, as soon as it happens? No regrets, you know. I act, or in most cases do not react when needed it is needed. I am the most emotionally intelligent person I know yet I still struggling with this. Thank you for the insight either way. Maybe the key to it all is meditation on what you have said many times a day just as you say. I will try it, thank you.

Irish Slaves I think the best way I can describe it is that it depends on your normal level of emotional arousal. If you’re walking round at a 7/10 most of the time then it doesn’t take much to flip into an unmanageable emotional state. If you walk round at a 3/10 then you have more latitude in case something triggers you. I’m not saying this is the panacea either, it’s just one of a number of tools in someone’s emotional toolbox. Therapy should help you identify those situations which are hard to manage and, depending on what type of therapy you choose, help you explore, explain and alleviate. I mean “you” in the general sense.

@@schematherapy6546 very insightful

I think this would work even better if we use a soothing smell!

Adrian Roe you’re welcome. Glad it was of use.

kenza abdi excellent kenza so glad to hear it was helpful.

you should check out the wim hof method of breathing if you havent!