I throughly enjoyed this. I met our son when he was 15 months old. His biological mother has been diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder and so mentally she has always been unavailable to him. Thankfully through lots of prayers I was able to connect with him in a healthy way and we are good friends.

You have explained this model beautifully! Thank you so much.

Tell me if a male child was given secure attacment when he was younger then developes beliefs around how people should treat him including i a femal partner is this the way people should interact with his as he is older or is that intial stage in child hood co regulation which hopedull he comes to a place later in life he self regulates and meets his own needs as an adult or is other people uppose to do this

My guy, this 2 hour video has completely revolutionised my perspective of myself and past. As a level 2 trainee counsellor, going through counselling myself, this has helped me understand immensely some of the ideas and feelings I've had manifested in pernicious patterns of behaviour my entire life. Cheers for the nice in depth video, I shall subscribe!

This explanation, particularly when you get to the SS, is false. The entire description of the SS is not accurate whatsoever. The child is always responding to what the parent does. It's adaptive. It's doing what it has to to stay in "proximity" to the parent. The avoidant child avoids because the parent does not offer care on reunion. The child is staying "safely connected" to the parent by adapting to the parent's needs either for closeness or distance. Parents who prefer distance will attune to the child's exploration, but not distress. Parents who prefer closeness will over attune to the child's distress, effectively placing their own feelings on the child. The child who is already distressed now has to manage the parent's distress. They can't settle or be soothed because the parent is not calm. And the avoidant child's play will be flat, because they are distressed but can't show it because it would only repel the parent. They say the anxious child has been to eden. Has experienced love but has had it taken away. Whereas the avoidant has not. The avoidant culture is purely based on exploration and performance. So they say the avoidant child is actually the most needy and underdeveloped because they aren't even aware of what they're missing. They are over regulated and the anxious is under regulated. Avoidant adults may be very successful and driven but it's not coming from a place of love and acceptance, it's coming from a place of fear and compliance (that they are hardly aware of). The anxious may be less successful because they are prone to care taking as they were taught as infants to focus outside on others rather than inside on the self. They are over involved in the state of mind of others. They had to as a survival mechanism. Where as avoidant is self centered. The attention they received was always connected to performance and never to simple connection for the sake of being. In a sense, the anxious parent uses the child to soothe the self, and the avoidant parent uses the child to support their ego (since performance is what brought connection). The anxious is linked to borderline and avoidant is linked to narcissism. They are both narcissistic in that they do not co regulate well. Anxious can only regulate self through other, and avoidant can only self regulate. In either case it's a one way street. Either you regulate me or I regulate myself. The most efficient way to soothe is what the secure pair does. The insecure child is always adapting to the other, whereas the secure child develops a sense of both self and other.

subscribed. Really clear, interesting presentation of a fascinating field of study.

Thank you so much for this video. It became a reference to a video on Attachment Theory that we'll soon post in Spanish. Hope you keep uploading videos. You're a good teacher

The wife is happy because she’s been able to provide for her husband’s needs?!?!?!? In what century was this talk given???? Good golly!

Yes, let’s blame mothers for all the world’s woes.

This was so helpful. Thank you so much!

Thank you for this presentation. It is very helpful.

Thanks so much for this thorough and interesting introduction to Attachment Theory....please know that this video is still reaching people and having positive impact!

I remember when in 2018 you doubted I was a transgirl and thought i was a insecure "boy", but now im the hottest girl ever blehhhhhhhhhh :333333333

This is such a great informative video, I would love to hear from you. Thank you.

Is it the childhood experience that leads to psychological characteristics or is there a shared or hereditary factor that leads to both the parenting style and the child's psychological outcomes? In the latter case the causal role of the adverse childhood experience may be minimal and just correlation. Is there science that can shed light on this?

Very enlightening lecture. Thank you for distributing this extremely valuable content freely, and for making it accessible in tone and language to outsiders and enthusiasts of the field.

Thankyou so much for your video. I am a 57 year old woman and still struggle with attachment to anyone. Other than my dogs. I also have no sense of self and how I fit into this world. Thankyou for not minimalising the effect of not having safe and secure attachments and how that can affect relationships later in life. with kind regards from Australia.

The best video about Attachment Theory. Thank you, Dr Kim!

sad to see the baby money missing its real mother holding the cloth mother ...remebering his real mom... science is hard on monkeys

This is a great presentation of this theory. I appreciate the clear and concise graphics. 💜

to be fair, Maslow never conceptualized the 'pyramid' as a strict sequential hierarchy. Thank you professor for this brilliant lecture , much appreciated

Brilliant thank you

This is by far the best on the attachment theory, I have ever heard. Thanks a lot.

Hi Kim, this is a really great, clear and comprehensive overview of attachment. I don't know if you are familiar with the book Attachment Disturbances in Adults, by Brown and Elliott, but aside from being a very thorough resource for attachment theory, it presents an approach to treating attachment trauma that attempts to get at the exact non-verbal basis for the formation of the early attachment style, by working with attachment activations through the use of imagery and building up an accompanying felt-sense of security. It's a great read, and I think the methodology it presents is really promising.

This is so helpful personally and as the primary care giver for a 7 month old!!!

I'm a clinical psychologist. I'm very glad to find your site here since I've been doing my psycotherapy based on Attachment Theory. I enjoyed your informative presentation here. Thank you. Subscribed.

The experiments were mild compared to some pretty bad things we have had to endure and witness since. Unfortunately the time factor doesn't exist in the USA (6 weeks for postpartum birth) and difficulty to obtain lactation assistance.

Dear Sir, this is an amazing explanation of the topic with a fantastic delivery! Please consider making more videos!

Very informative thanks for uploading

Thank you for such a comprehensive, engaging presentation. A great overview of Bowlby (with a nod to Ainsworth and Winnicott) that has helped me prepare for a paper in psychotherapy studies.

Thank you so much sir you elaborate so perfectly

It doesn't. End credits.

I’ve been struggling with nightmares my whole life and they’ve been getting unbearable in recent years to the limit im sure I would become unhinged manic and deranged. I’ve been reading through Jung and Freud n people try to find a way out. This video has been incredibly helpful in giving me some real prospect and hints and many things seemed to click in this video. exactly what I’ve been looking for. You described the structure of the theory better than anyone I’ve heard so far. I cannot wait to get some headway on understanding myself and I’m eager to read those books you recommended. Thank you for your humble video.

This has been very important and easy to follow and I would highly recommend it. Thank you Kim :-)

Thank you so much for this. I've become really interested in attachment theory, and am currently on the path to promoting its tenets, God-willing. It was very nice to hear the information you shared in your breakdown of it.

Really enjoyed this video, very informative, clear and well presented. Looking forward to more videos

Thank you so very much for this clear and concise power point presentation! I enjoyed it very much.

Can you PLEASE stop banging on your desk!?

Firstly thank you for sharing, I have been struggling to understand. Can one have all the attachments issues at once?

I appreciate the serious, clear, methodical way the information is presented. Fascinating stuff. Thanks very much.

The voice is very soothing and clear to listen to. Thank you 🙏

I’ve just found this very informative video. I’m studying to become a counsellor and this is a main topic for me this term. Thank you!

Great video !!

Nice

Great video and teaching. Thanks! I learned a lot. Minor suggestions for future videos. Put your microphone on another platform than the one you like to place your hand on. I was listening on my headphones and I could I hear the bass change every time you placed your hand on the desk. Thanks again for the helpful content.

Just finished the first hour. Great content. Thank you.

Good Gravy! 😂

Goob job! :) Keep it up!