Fantasies about most life things aren't wrong or betraying though, a sexual fantasy dreaming and thinking about having sex with someone else is adulterous and wrong. Thinking about being a star in a sport is not adulterous or sinful.

Is there a video on an enmeshment with a mother daughter scenarios. Trying to figure out if this is what im looking at. My mother has controlled me my whole life and when my dad died when i was younger it went out of control, over and over she'd say she didn't want to be alone, yet she has relegated me to that fate because she never bothered to find herself a new man to be with. I've tried to leave multiple times and am in my 40's now and still stuck by the guilt trips and manipulation even family members getting involved to keep me with her to care for her, they don't want to do it. I just i dont know if this is what im dealing with. I just know when my mother was in hospital for 7 days recently and I had a break from her whirlwind of drama and you gotta do this or that at all hours. Well it was nice to sleep thru the night and wake up without being yelled at and startled awake to fix her problems day and night. I felt my head clearing out where i wasn't so confused or on edge walking on eggshells, i feel it slipping away again and I want that peace back i temporarily had. But those family members who pointed out the difference when she was gone they fell back in line and i feel like a prisoner again. Just exhausted and awaiting her next order. She never let me date, she never let me have friends. She'd loose her mind to know when she was in the hospital i went to a dance hall, I'd never been before and really didn't do anything as i felt a bit awkward new to this and all. But i had fun, i don't think anyone would say i was dancing as im not sure what that was but a ignorant try not bad for first go. But i saw it on a tv commercial and i went and actually had a little fun when I got past the nervousness. I don't know just trying to figure out what this is other than just telling myself that its not right. Sorry if i rambled a bit much, my mother hates that too. But i wanted to be clear so if it sounds like it maybe I can find out.

I find this idea of "collectivist" Asian cultures to be weird and incorrect. There is not one 'Asian" culture to start with. And the Chinese do not sacrifice or even really orientate themselves to the "collective'. They look after themselves and immediate family in a very localised, self-centred way. And CONFORM to the wider culture to keep from being sacrificed to the collective. Which happens - and better its not me and my family.

It would’ve been nice to have two women who stayed in to women who left their marriages.

I lose and forget everything. Until I open the editor and dig in to code, the way I worked evolved so much over the years and I’m now able to keep things in mind with kind of a lose rope to then connect when I need to

Explain ADHD to folks at home

The money isn’t there for renting anything. Then what??

I love your work. Blessings!

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NKJV

This is very helpful thank you. It’s wise counsel for me as a wife.

Been sperated 5 yrs. I have no idea when I can approach my wife. I'm not scared just don't want to make things worse. And it's been 5 yrs of praying and fasting yet no idea

Fascinating

My dad died a little more than a year ago, and it was interesting to watch my manipulative, sick mother go to work weaponizing everyone she could-the pastor, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.-to keep me in line and enmeshed in the system.

My husband is married to his sister and excludes me from everything they do. Would these books help me, or is it just for men who have issues with their mothers?

Lol yeah my husband will never divorce his mother therefore I'm divorcing him

Remember Dusty Morning!

I didn't leave when I should have left and thought we were working it out. And instead it turned out. He was just resenting the fact that I was keeping him from doing the things he wanted. Which would not have been faithful to me and eventually he left me and at that point. I'm not sure there's anything we can fix anymore. It had degraded too much.

Great discussion. I learn something new every time and thankyou all for this knowledge ❤

Mine is doing recovery not sure he gets the full impact these betrayals (love limerence sex porn addict)have caused me. He is now a workaholic saying he screwed that up by his chouces n behaviors so he's fixing that now. He never has a day off always available by phone when home. I see him changing but I'm still not a priority I've been last in line our whole marriage life together. I'm tired of trying I'm tired of being faithful and loyal to a man who's never shown up for me.

"Special status" gives that kid so much..finances, possessions, exhaulted position, and the demanded loyalty is met with swift and high level punishment and verbal abuse/even hitting. Sexual overtones in conversations, etc are god-awful gross, as are the physical touch that occurs that is 100% inappropriate. So sick.

Genesis 2:24- Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

It sounds all good. HOWEVER, it’s been a 40 yr. Addiction & I am beyond weary of it. He will be attending your seminar next week. He appears motivated to change. Trusting God for a breakthrough.

My daughter 22 dated a guy for just under 2 years, they just broke up. He was so enmeshed with his mother who we believe was narcissistic. He was 24, had to say where he was going, how long he was going for, and who he was going out with when hed leave home (he lived with step dad and mom), she would call her son many many times while he was out, sonetimes shed call to say its kate and he needs to come home. She'd demand he drive them someplace and demand she would get the front seat of her sons car, if my daughter wanted to drive separate, she would throw a hissy fit on her son. She'd demand that they not sit together on a sofa, or show any affection in their home, kiss etc., She'd try to control what they watched, their privacy alobe, disrupting them constantly, even though they were alone not doing anything risqué. He was a nice guy, but wouldnt take any initiative to set any boundaries with his mom, She'd steamroll everything. My daughter also witness where she was verbally degrading, almost treating him like a dog, or demanding. Fortunately i never had to meet her, because i would have lost it.

🎉🎉🎉

Wonderful shares and powerful awareness. Thank you.

Does his porn addiction count for this addiction? Is it.the same?

Does his porn addiction count for this addiction? Is it.the same?

Why is this even on here

I appreciate this. When I go to a new counsellor I accept that I will have to give the details about my past traumas. That said, I don’t want to live in that space picking apart things I cannot change because they are past. I need help dealing with what I am going through right now and coming up with strategies for the future. I feel many do not get the help they readily need because counselors are fixated on past trauma and don’t help their patience with relief in the present.

At 60 my soul screamed and at that time I knew I needed to make changes from family enmeshment and narcissism. I moved to another state and had minimal contact. It was the hardest first year I’ve ever gone through carrying guilt, shame. How my family handled my changes was the greatest learning. I see them when it’s necessary but I’m living my best life and feel like the most authentic self. I hope I’ve broken the family ancestral cycle and my daughter won’t have to learn my lessons in life.

Everyone looks alike!

This is what I'm going thru. My mother in law is not happy in her marriage of 30 years and she wants my husband to fill her loneliness and my husband even tells me his mom will never leave him so she's first in his life and me sec. I had enough and told him that things needed to change and he asked for a divorce. So I will definitely give him just that. I'm so done with his narcissist mother and her narcissist son.

What about siblings? When one has taken care of all the siblings and now the siblings dont have boundaries , they siblings (adults) still see the big sister as the one that has to take care of them and have zero boundaries and sabotage big sister relationships so she can be and pay attention to only them ( siblings ) eventhough they all adults

This is exhausting. My ex behaved like they were secret lovers! Always phone calls in secret, making plans in secret, ive been excluded on their vacations, and they would take my kids with them! It is so digusting. I have so many pictures of them as though they were the couple. Its totally gross and he denies this relationship with his mother. I was their scapegoat. Make no mistake they both enjoyed abusing me, together. Ladies, just run, do not try to fix it, once you tell them they are broken, they will viciously turn on you and involve youre kids to do it as well. These people came straight from hell. Is that dramatic? Yes. But its definately true.

Stay single run from all your family Problems solved

the volume

Very good information . Thanks

Fantastic so wonderful to have help for wives.

Yes, but I wish he had never told me. We are 10mo post DD, and I’m still drowning. I wish he would have NEVER told me the truth. I was happy being in the dark. Now that I know about all the prostitutes, strip clubs, and massage parlors, all over 12 years of marriage, I’m in literal HELL. I’d rather be dead than know the truth anymore…..

Omission should of been addressed. It's hugh.

Bummer, this recording cut out a few times towards the end. I wonder if they know this?

As the wife of a man who is enmeshed with mom, the only way I could manage my own sense of sanity and feel safe was to develop myself. I have individuated over the years and none of what my husband does bothers me. He doesn't like my style of operating which is very different from his mother but I have managed to keep my self from losing my mind. I have as a result been able to maintain the necessary boundaries with my own son. For any woman who is out there feeling like the "mistress" the only way is to self-develop into your own so the cycle of BS can stop.

Yes ahmein thank you for sharing this message ❤🙏

wonderful podcast. What do you say to adult children who feel their mother has been betrayed by their father and is staying in the relationship because she feels/is stuck in an mentally abusive relationship? We are both working with F & T counselors and plan on doing a full disclosure at some point. I attended the February men's intensive.

This is exactly what I am dealing with RIGHT NOW WITH MY HUSBAND. It’s sad and sickening. My husband is married to his mom and I’m the mistress. The amount of pain that I endure is unmatched

Thank you so much / very helpful

This analogy about how desire to act out ma be like the pain medicine after surgery. So I may be actually recovering as I crave acting out, the issue is then II need to find a different source for release and relief than acting out

I wish I had heard this during my redemptive separation. I was seeing so many of these things but was unable to discern what I was seeing.

If you contract a infection from his infidelity, what would you do?

Has anyone contracted a serious infection from your partner?Newlywed.