I’m going to jail for contempt of court, there is No way that these questions could be asked and I don’t bust out laughing in court!!!

"How do our brains remember that we forgot something but can't remember what that thing was." Yeah, like the "?" that should come at the end of that thought!

Kinda makes you wonder how in the hell somebody actually fails the bar exam. this is some of the funniest shizz I'veheard in a long time.

Weirdly enough, Alina Habba was the attorney on all of those

One of my favorite exchanges was not included here: Lawye: Did you perform an autopsy on [name withheld]? Witness: Yes sir. Lawyer: And was he dead? Witness: No, you dumb asshole, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Stupid. Fake.

The one towards the end thats covered by video recs reads LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that right?

I'm laughing at the comments about how the tweets move too fast 🤣

Longer ones go to fast. Let me read them. I turned off the video part way thru. Too fustrating

😂😂😅😂😅😂😅😅😂😂 Ohhh myyy, my pansa hurt from laughing so hard. I miss working for the Court!

Just amazing how often lawyers ask REALLY STUPID QUESTIONS. DOH!

Some of the long ones go too fast and the short ones too slow

The date of birth one. The lawyer is correct, the witness is wrong.

"My name is Susan!" #OMG!

While the stupidity of a few of these were from the witnesses, the rest of these makes me wonder where did they get these lawyers? Also, I didn't appreciate that the last two were hidden by suggestions. Is there a way around that?

How did half the lawyers pass Thier law exams? Dumb question and quick come backs...😂😂😂😂

7:18 Finally, someone with at least a margin of sanity.

how does this only have 400k views im almost one minute in and these are already HILARIOUS!

1:15 I wanna know the judge’s response.

The 'Are you sexually active?" one was my favourite'! Hilarious! :)

Like the Elijah Wood joke interview but not a joke and still funny.

Mike Primavera, nice name! Puts a 'Spring' in your step LOL. I agree; Ho hum.. the USA is fucked... pass the salt please.

Dear AOC, I agree. We all know that Republicans are scum.

For any of these quotes ripped from an old book, assuming they are nevertheless true quotes and not simply jokes, maybe habba is not in fact the dumbest lawyer to have ever lived

OMG... some of the lawyer quotes are so ridiculous it's hard to believe they're real! A lot of the witness quotes are just pure comedy!!

The music is most annoying.

I often think that the reason why people who have jobs like this seem to lack common sense is because they either had to remove it just to get all the information into their brains, or they spent so much time studying they couldn’t develop one.

0:57 to be fair, that is a legitimate clarification, since anyone can claim "passing acquaintance" regardless of time known. Even just knowing of a person is technically enough that you can claim you were acquainted with the deceased.

FBI agent was reprimanded for not hand-cuffing or patting down a suspect. When asked why he failed basic field safety, he replied: "His head was missing."

Nathan Borofkin ???

This seems like someone would have made this up. However could someone actually think of these?

And this are attorneys in our legal system? No wonder why it is so screwed up.

1:08 i had similar... like 3 questions rolled into 1 sentence and when i began answer them one by one, the lawyer told me to only reply yes or no, WTF? i stared at the judge and told i can't answer 3 questions with 1 answer, then was told i would be in contempt if i didnt. so i did the only thing i could think of, "yes, yes & no" this was the lawyer that called me in as witness to an accident i saw and not the insurance company lawyer... i still dont know to this day WTF this ended with.

I just had to testify in a case involving the Houston Ship Channel. I described a bridge that passed over the Ship Channel. The attorney asked, "What goes through the Ship Channel?" "Uh...ships." Other attorney asked if I was going to pursue a career in stand-up comedy because he would buy tickets!

This was taken from “dumb lawyer quotes IRL but in ace attourney”, by Chessette, who took it from a book on dumb lawyer quotes.

DA; Do you think you could over look your prejudices in this case Mr. Farmer? My Dad; Looks at ceiling and around courtroom. DA; Mr. Farmer? Dad; Are you asking me? I'm Dan Armstrong. DA; looks at notes, Oh sorry, you ARE a Farmer. Sorry. Well, Mr. Armstrong do you think you could overlook your prejudices in this case? Dad; I didn't know I was prejudice but I will try to overlook it. Judge; Grins in quiet amusement.

You know, "Were you present when your picture was taken?" can actually be a valid question now with AI deep fakes. Still funny given it was asked before those were a thing.

These comments prove that lawyers should at least think carefully about how their questions sound

Answer to that incomprehensible question: 42

A good friend of my mom's was a court reporter, and she used to relate very similar anecdotes about the stupid lawyers she had to listen to. It's amazing that people so stupid can actually get a law degree and pass the bar. Then again, look at all the brainless lawyers tRump surrounds himself with.

6:48- Ah, man! Don’t you hate it when you wake up dead in the morning?

I know some of these, while very odd, are aimed not at the answer, but at a reaction, or to catch someone out. For example: the youngest, the 20 year old, how old was he?" This may have been posed to try to trip up the person on the stand. Some of these are just because the lawyer asking the questions is a tryhard. Source; I'm trying to become a full fledged attorney myself

i laughed from beginning to the end, i didnt realize lawyers could be so dumb.

"His brain was sitting in a jar on my desk" "But he could still have been alive?" "Yes, he could still have been alive and practicing law" *Every stage comedian in existence* Get that man a mic!

These are the Attorneys assigned to you if you can't afford one.

The question about whose death terminated the marriage doesn’t really qualify for the answer given since the witness didn’t clarify it was the husband’s death. For all anyone knows, it was a significant family member (say, a child) whose death caused a rift in their relationship and so they split up.

I think these are made up

The lumbar region was a "Reader's Digest" joke about 60 years back. The Disco Girl about 50 in the day's work. My favorite story is: Possible juror: "I would like to be excused because my wife is about to get pregnant." DA: "His wife is going to have a baby any day now." Judge: "In either case, I think that he should be there."

Very, very funny. My favorite? Oral.

Policeman giving evidence - "I chased the accused but the nearer I got to hime the further he was away". True.