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@joshader3986 Күн бұрын
I would generally agree, but who are the we?
@John-eo2bq 5 күн бұрын
This is one of the most difficult, challenging and painful videos on KZbin
@John-eo2bq 9 сағат бұрын
I've leant into the pretty significant discomfort and listened to this by myself three times, pausing and mulling. I have now shared it with my wife (pausing and discussing, when our minds could keep up!) and we had both our minds blown! This describes/explains so much of our our sexless situation (with me as the "nice guys") and I really wish I'd learnt this stuff 30 years ago (when we got married). The way forward is not yet clear, but we are collaborating and trying to be more honest. The closing statements about the potential blessing of male sexuality, is very hard to accept, after a life of shame, futile suppression and resentment. The words make sense, the idea sounds plausible intellectually, but living that out, is beyond my imagination just yet. There is, and has been, so much pain, caused to women, by male heterosexuality, seeing it as "a wonderful nurturing sustaining reality for many marriages" is so counter intuitive.
@mackenzigardner8139 11 күн бұрын
I’m trying to find a video of you that I watched before I was even married and now that me and my husband just had our first child I think it would be perfect to watch it together. The video looked like you were addressing a Sunday school class inside a church and you were talking about intimacy and marriage, does that video ring a bell for you at all?
@Dr.Finlayson-Fife 6 күн бұрын
Can you please email [email protected] and I will see if I can find what you are looking for! Thanks Kristi (assistant)
@nolankylie 11 күн бұрын
So good, thank you so much ❤
@94ftoflogic_idr14 12 күн бұрын
If Men work to provide for everyone, how and why is that deemed less selfless or sacrificial than a woman being a stay at home mom?
@bowmanmccullough3759 17 күн бұрын
Love it 🙏🏻
@ManShellz234 26 күн бұрын
This is explained so logically to me. I wish others would allows themselves to see it this way!
@melkerner Ай бұрын
The forced celibacy makes that question impossible to consider
@Invictus1293 Ай бұрын
Thank you for posting the video! There was tons of useful insight 9:30 - 13:20 28:40-32:30 33:40-37:00 37:00-40:00 46:23-49:40
@melkerner Ай бұрын
Mine doesn't show up emotionally or sexually - hasn't for 15+ years. Says she just has no desire - but won't put her phone down, or even kiss. Just forced celibacy and acts like she doesn't understand why this is NOT sustainable. won't talk about it, even in marriage / sex therapy. won't get medical or hormones checked, just has chosen celibacy and walled off. It's her safe space being withdrawn because of how she was raised with 2 parents who simply did not give emotional or physical closeness.. didn't start out that way, she just retreated to the old familiar space...
@sandyrandal4608 Ай бұрын
And their communication sucks
@sandyrandal4608 Ай бұрын
They both have all the tools, but I don’t think they handle aloneness very well
@sandyrandal4608 Ай бұрын
How should I help my best friend in his marriage or should I even try
@BenParkertech Ай бұрын
Yet to still know that even when cherishing when becoming a better stronger version of yourself through the crucible. To accept yourself and ways that you hurt in the past and caused resentment as well as to accept your partner for who they are while challenging the walls and protection they put up in as loving a way as possible. They still have the choice of not wanting to accept being cherished and loved because it is too scary to face that level of intimacy. That is a painful process to grieve and yet it was the best and most authentic path.
@Jess-wk5jo Ай бұрын
have question for you. Does this counts as emotional affair? But keep in mind me and Morgan and Stephen have special needs i feel it not cheating we all got special needs i know it will never never having sex in my affair not never never so does sill counts as infidelity but only physical is hugging and holding hands no sex. It non sexual affair just emotional and physical affair without sex . 1 texting Stephen behind Morgan back 2 meeting with stephen behind morgan back 3 laughing with Stephen 4 watching films with stephen behind morgan back 5 specking to Stephen on phone behind morgan back 6 hiding texts and deleting texts behind morgan back 7 telling Stephen i love him and miss him and i can't holding hands with him and watch my and favourite movie dinsey high school musical that got Zac efron and vanessa Hudgens in it.? 8 getting high school musical balloons with stephen? Does this counts as emotional affair. I ask my mum about it she stay it just cheating but what type of cheating would it be?
@bowmanmccullough3759 Ай бұрын
As always, phenomenal message. Thank you, Jennifer! 😊
@Carnegiered52 Ай бұрын
I made a huge life-changing mistake regarding career and finance.a year ago. It’s been soul crushing. The worst mistake and worst year of my life. Early 60’s, I’m just too old for this.
@midi510 2 ай бұрын
I raised three daughters there was a two aspect standard for what they wore. One was the particular look and message of a particular item and the other was the overall impression of everything they were wearing. They could wear a particular item with some other items, but not others. I also made them well aware that how they looked was like advertising who they were and boys were always shopping. They would tend think about how their friends viewed their clothes and I made them aware of the fact that men of all ages would be judging them.
@midi510 2 ай бұрын
I see all women as beautiful and most women as sexually desirable. An adult human female id inherently erotic. I thank God for this, as it makes the world I live in more beautiful. I don't, however, have to act upon it and that means I don't have to even think or judge it. We can just be present and aware and experience what's around us without reacting to it. If we act, we then act intentionally, by choice, according to an intended result.
@midi510 2 ай бұрын
It's sad that anyone would think of the body, including genetals, that God created is bad or gross or offensive in any way. Vulva are like flowers of which every woman has her own version of. They are the doorway to the womb and are beautiful.
@midi510 2 ай бұрын
If I was the one who wanted more/better, I'd see it as a creative challenge to awaken the erotic in my partner.
@midi510 2 ай бұрын
It's good to hear the religious community talking about this stuff. I didn't know there was content like this online. Good job ladies.
@Sophiapaul21 2 ай бұрын
Your videos are well done. Modern editing could expand their reach and increase audience engagement. With a team of expert video editors and designers, we're prepared to help with your editing tasks. Would you consider outsourcing to us? I'd love to provide a free first video and thumbnail to demonstrate our quality. ensuring your satisfaction is essential before any commitment.
@Jayjays964 2 ай бұрын
Thank you, Jennifer. Excellent as always. 🥰
@vanessam8473 2 ай бұрын
❤ so well said
@BraveGirlization 3 ай бұрын
I love Dr Jennifer's outfit in this (obvs her content is beyond helpful too) 😊😊
@goldewl 3 ай бұрын
How can a woman teach men about men’s arousal? She doesn’t know what men feel. She isn’t a man
@sallytalbot4541 3 ай бұрын
Have you listened to anything more than this? Don't knock it 'til you try it. She has interviewed thousands of men with an open mind to what they experience, and she has helped thousands of men with their sexuality and their relationships.
@shaneluck2570 4 ай бұрын
I feel you are making a simple subject complicated and confusing. Go to Father in faith and ask Him and listen. The Spirit is not democratic. It is SINGULAR.
@vagabondmom448 4 ай бұрын
The problem is for those who have delved deeply into church history it becomes apparent pretty quickly that there are some serious and complicated issues. With the internet the information is more readily available and even without the internet just look at the gospel discussions. Using any amount of critical thinking it becomes apparent that the old “the church is true” accept it and move on advice does not hold as easily. Seeing prophetic flip flops in recent history caused me to delve deeper and I am in the thick of a faith expansion. I had some of these questions….how or should I stay when my knowledge and even beliefs have changed. I’ve had powerful spiritual experiences after stepping back from the church. I’ve been shamed by my bishop from the pulpit for sharing my authentic feelings (“An authentic declaration of doubt does *not* equal faith.”). It was too difficult for him to accept that my relationship with my inactive kids is stronger now and even husband now that we are not living strictly within a patriarchal belief structure. But I do recognize many good things that have come to me because of the basic belief I’ve formed in the church and even the church structure. There are a lot of us as I’ve come to recently discover who feel this way. These are the folks that she’s addressing and I appreciate so much her comments. Finally I see someone who has delved into these issues but has resolved to stay and see the best and know how to contribute to a Christ like loving community. Maybe it is possible for me too? It’s hopeful.
@shaneluck2570 4 ай бұрын
The Spirit teaches us the truth. The Truth is real. I was raised in the Church. I was blessed with a powerful witness of my own on my mission and realized irregardless of how I grew up it was true. I have had so many faith crisis in my life due to death, divorce, loss and my personal faith has consistently endured. It is my life. It didn't matter what the group felt. This is not about group identity, it is about my faith in Jesus Christ.
@jjhardy2000 4 ай бұрын
I’m so grateful for this! I resonate with everything you said here. Thank you!
@amalgamator2 4 ай бұрын
I was just watching the movie Moana again and I found myself getting emotional when the grandmother told Moana to listen to her heart and when her father was telling her to stay on the island. We love these stories, but it’s so much harder for us when “thing get real”
@amurdo4539 4 ай бұрын
Much of your discussion highlights the balancing of Authenticity versus Sincerity. Authenticity is about being true to oneself (even at the expense of social connection). Sincerity is about connecting with others (even at the expense of personal truth). Finding your "personal truth" is not the same thing as Truth. Most human behavior is habitual and not based on some rational calculation based on an exhaustive review of the evidence. Considering an infinitely complex universe and our limited lifetimes, it is impossible to rationally and independently arrive at even a sliver of Truth. We are all reliant on the wisdom gained from generations before us.
@noahbergevin2834 4 ай бұрын
So here's my question - are you saying we should be aware of the "foolish traditions" of the "church culture" and align ourselves with the official doctrines, or be more "flexible" with the doctrines and "find our own path"?
@Jayjays964 4 ай бұрын
Super helpful! Thank you JFF:)
@SuperTotoro3 5 ай бұрын
Love these short clips! They're still so meaty but I can actually listen & learn. I just can't fit in time for most of the long ones, so thank you!!
@bhow8196 5 ай бұрын
Nope. Usually the partner isnt willing to talk about these things, or continues to do those things and thats why the resentment starts.
@JeffreyPorter-lj5bw 5 ай бұрын
my girlfriend wants me wear a chastity device and give her key what should i do
@edrickers 6 ай бұрын
I’d love how you’ve framed the conversation of men and women taking responsibility for how they respond to their own sexuality rather than escaping it - which is so often otherwise the case. It reminds me of something my wife said early on in our marriage. She quoted a line from the movie “Sound of Music.“ I think that’s where it came from… Where Maria says something like… “I want a man who COULD be wicked but wouldn’t .” I’m not even sure if I’m remembering the correct movie but that line came from a classic movie. I think it relates to what you’re saying. It’s desirable to be the type of person who is liberated enough to do anything but chooses to do that which is most healthy and creates the most goodness for themselves, those they love, and people in general.
@Dr.Finlayson-Fife 3 ай бұрын
"I wouldn't want to marry anybody who was wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't." L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island (Anne of Green Gables, #3) kzbin.info/www/bejne/j2S3n31jfJqEgNksi=3NtxWQ18Yvg8_wop
@olen7645 6 ай бұрын
"Promo SM" 😅
@MusicKnowte 7 ай бұрын
she said “im 61” im 24 😳
@Lauren-i8i 3 ай бұрын
You’ll be 61 before you know it! Life has a way of going by quickly the older you get, son. 😂
@smuir6104 8 ай бұрын
Really good info.
@Dr.Finlayson-Fife 5 ай бұрын
Glad to hear it was helpful!
@smuir6104 8 ай бұрын
48:55 Interesting that you feel that worry, him being older. I am nine years older than my wife, I wonder if she worries about the same. My first wife had several near death experiences, where i was forced to deal with losing her. Then in the end I did lose her, I almost feel like I've lost several wives. So now despite the fact I am older I still worry more that she will die before me, and how will I cope with that loss? I remember living always hoping for life, but now death is real, and I don't know if I can learn to live in the now looking for life again. I want to but don't see how it is possible when I know wives die, and don't come back, and life hurts. I don't want to to make me callus, but I almost feel if I don't prepare for it, it will be so much worse. So I comment as a way to think through things, my answer to all of these things is to pray, and really connect with God. We don't ever loose him to death, he is always there, and always wanting to help. I pray that he helps me comprehend the lessons, and have faith that in the end it will be okay. Some days better than others, but with a consistent faith. I think if we focus on Christ who doesn't change, and keep our focus there, that we will better be able to handle the lose that life deals us. He being our constant, reminding us that there is an eternal, and that it is worth the effort. I am still hoping he can further my understanding more but that is where I am right now.
@smuir6104 8 ай бұрын
I'm curious about recovery in the lose of a spouse, through death, and through divorce. I think they are equally painful, but may require different skills to find someone new. As for the fear of ruining your children, I can speak to that fear. When my wife died I felt so broken that I do not thing was making solid rational decisions. For so long who I was, was really who we were, so when they we part of us died, it left behind the broken half. I do not think I was capable of giving to my kids what they deserved and were used to. Now that years have passed I still don't think I can offer what the two of us did together, because I am only one half. I try to function at a higher level and to a degree I think I have done pretty good, but I can never offer what the two of us did. I remarried a few years ago, and we offer a different set of "gifts" to the kids, we offer many really good things, but it is hard for the kids, because we can still never offer the same that my first wife did. Maybe in some ways what we offer now is even better, but I think the kids still feel the loss of what they had before, even though they recognize how much better a lot of things are!
@sarahmortensen5517 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for this conversation. Ill need to watch it again
@smuir6104 11 ай бұрын
It is hard when I hear this, and think you guys are right on track, but feel very little hope my spouse will step up and own their part. I wish the art of loving, and all your courses where affordable in person, for normal people. Anytime you get $150 discount, it is already too much for a normal couple. That would be the max out of pocket... LOL
@Dr.Finlayson-Fife 5 ай бұрын
We do have some limited scholarship funding available to help make in-person events more accessible. You can email [email protected] for details. The online courses are also phenomenal! The Art of Loving course will be on sale for Father's Day!
@smuir6104 11 ай бұрын
I do think I have gotten better, and am trying to teach them, you just have a way with saying it.
@smuir6104 11 ай бұрын
I wish in the moment when these things come up, you could sit with me and help coach me through the conversation. I listen think I agree, but then when faced with questions, hear in my head "sex is bad" "don't say the word sex" ... It has hurt my sex life in two marriages and I don't want that to transfer to my kids, but still want to teach them how to return to the Celestial Kingdom, at least as best as I understand it.
@markolivares1625 11 ай бұрын
Excellent!!!!
@SilasKyei-bl9gn 11 ай бұрын
Pono
@monirulislam-re5hh Жыл бұрын
I want to partner with you and grow your KZbin channel virtually When analyzing your KZbin channel (Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife),I wondered what you were struggling with in terms of subscribers and views. I can help you grow your KZbin channel Thank you. I am waiting for your response?