It’s good that you can talk about your life. I think it helps with closure. It’s nice to see your videos

You did a great job like always. No need to apologize.

When the son is undiagnosed autistic is gets far worse.

My names dinnell lol

I really like your vibe, so easy to listen to and down to earth!

I love rocks 😍🪨❤️❤️❤️

"Here, there and everywhere." You had fun.

My body is kinda twisted. My left shoulder is held higher and my left leg seems shorter. I think I have ehlers danlos which is common with autism.

My family is as dysfunctional as the day is long and I'm pretty sure one of my relatives is DARVOing me right now, thanks for all your vids, I am learning much.

I'd love to know how you going now, two years on

It’s crazy how they work

Thank you Darlin

Yea I noticed, if I do not like a texture during eatings or touching, I cannot do it. Always felt like an alien.

Scotland Watching 🥃📡🥃

I was a child of a narcissist parent, I came from a very difficult life with him, and was homeless with him for a very long time in the past and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape him, and had to go great lengths to get away from him. I was lucky to have known the people that had helped me and allowed me to stay with them. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet. They flew me in first class to go be with them, and I genuinely felt that I would belong with them because they’re my family. At first there was this honeymoon period, they thought of me as a gift from grandma that passed away. But what seemed like a gift from the universe, only turned into something that had psychologically wounded me. I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they seemed to have been to live with, and how strict and conditional their love and regard was towards me. I felt like I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am, or that I had to constantly fit in to their idea of how I should live my life and be like to them. I felt like I was some kind of flawed and inadequate kid. I would hear them say things like “but he wasn’t raised that way!” “oh it’s just gonna take time”, “I just think he just wasn’t raised properly” …and it felt like I had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I don’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. To this day I feel this deep, inner wound of rejection and unworthiness that I carry each and every day. My aunt would ask this weird question “what are the advantages that you think you have of being here?” but in my mind I’m like ‘I didn’t come here just so I can gain some kind of material advantages, I came to have a life here with my family just like any other kid would with their families, not a quid pro quo’. But I just told her “I don’t know” , and she replied “then why did you come live with us honey?” and she didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and said “why not come stay here?” I had unfortunately received some invalidating comments from others that I’ve tried to speak to about my trauma, they’ve said things like “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and another person said “you don’t seem to realize that you’re wanting a warped and distorted image of your family” “you are not your brother you’re not their kid” and I’ve basically been labeled as having some kind of “sense of entitlement”. So for a kid or young person to have an innate desire and need to have a family home or to simply live with his or hers own family they would have a “sense of entitlement”? What kind of cold world do we live in? Isn’t every kid or young person deserving of what I believe to be the most basic, simplest thing that any young person could have, which is a family home, or to simply live with one’s own blood relational family, in a home? With parents, caregivers, siblings, etc? Shouldn’t it be like the norm and standard for every kid or young person? But for some reason, I’m being considered by some people as like bad, evil or reprehensible for trying to have that with my own family? I tend to think if my friends can live with their families, why can’t I live with mine? I once had a former friend who I thought would always be validating of my trauma, but he one time went against me and invalidated me and said; “Well they raised your brother! They raised him and not you so he’s their kid!” and he laughed at me. So whose kid am I? Where does that leave me then? and so after some years later I came to figure out, that perhaps the reason why I was treated the way I was treated by my family, was all because they raised my sibling and they never raised me. I can’t believe that, I went through that whole process, of getting away from my father, and finally got to be with my extended family and my brother that I never got to grow up with since we were born, and after going through such a nightmarish life with a narcissist father, only for it to, pretty much, backfire on me? all because ‘they raised him and not me’. So in order for a kid or young person to live with his or hers own family they have to be born and raised into it? And it’s unfair to me how my brother got to have what they called a “privileged life” while my life and upbringing got robbed by a toxic father. I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said ‘how in the world can you not be allowed just the same if not more’. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere with my father. They treated me as equally as their two boys, I wanted that with my family and my brother. It’s incredibly sad and disheartening to me that, I go to my family expecting all the love and care in the world, only to seemingly be met with sort of the opposite, I just don’t understand that if they can love and care for one kid all of his life why can’t they do just the same for the other? I believe every kid and young person deserves a good home life with their families. But I guess I can’t have that with my own family all because they raised him and not me. I used to envy other kids that had normal family homes, I stayed with some of them, but couldn’t actually live with them or claim it as my home all because I just, ‘wasn’t their kid’. They bought a condo and now my brother is living in it for free… I was told that there was only one baby on the table… We never chose our parents. and I never chose this life…

No contact with my kids. It's best that way. Im trying to go no contact with a lot of people.

TY for this. Being the son of covert narcissists, it took me years - and a few thousand miles - to break free of their behaviours and begin to discover my autistic self.

❤

So happy for you that you individuated from this and took charge of your own life. You're young and when you hear any negative self talk say the opposite. You sound like a very self aware young lady and I wish you the best of luck and all the good things you truly deserve. I'm in my 60s and in trauma therapy from my awful experience where I was always judged by the opinions of others.

Wow that's so cool

possibly a neurodivergent thing. i’m late diagnosed with ADHD & Autism & I always struggled with instructions that weren’t step by step. i’ve gone my entire life thinking “how does everyone just automatically know exactly what to do all the time?”

With all due respect but,,,, you are so beautiful ❤️😊

I'm brand new to your channel and just diagnosed at 46 with Level 1 ASD (although my psychologist used the old term of high functioning Autism, formerly known as Asperger's). I don't have an intellectual disability, but I did have several years of speech therapy as a child, beginning at age 3 and continuing on in elementary school. My young adult children actually diagnosed me, and themselves, before I had any clue. I got into therapy for what I now realize is Autistic Burnout and told my therapist that I'd like to be assessed for Autism and ADHD. She was instrumental in helping me get the appointment with the clinical psychologist, and I'm sure that if the therapist didn't agree with my suspicion, she would have suggested we stick with therapy first for a while. I'm sticking with therapy post-diagnosis, and am pretty sure that I'm her first late diagnosed Autistic, because she's asked me to send any articles or videos that I find helpful to her. Anyway, thank you. You've got a new sub. I appreciate how you talk, it's sort of like listening to myself. Who knew it was a thing? I've had friends tell me that they like how I talk, even though it's a little bit different.

I was a child of a narcissist parent, I came from a very difficult life with him, and was homeless with him for a very long time in the past and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape him, and had to go great lengths to get away from him. I was lucky to have known the people that had helped me and allowed me to stay with them. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet. They flew me in first class to go be with them. At first there was this honeymoon period, they thought of me as a gift from grandma that passed away. But what seemed like a gift from the universe, only turned into something that had psychologically wounded me. I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they seemed to have been to live with, and how strict and conditional their love and regard was towards me. I felt like I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am, or that I had to constantly fit in to their idea of how I should live my life and be like to them. I felt like I was some kind of flawed and inadequate kid. I would hear them say things like “but he wasn’t raised that way!” “oh it’s just gonna take time”, “I just think he just wasn’t raised properly” …and it felt like I had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I don’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. To this day I feel this deep, inner wound of rejection and unworthiness that I carry each and every day. My aunt would ask this weird question “what are the advantages that you think you have of being here?” but in my mind I’m like ‘I didn’t come here just so I can gain some kind of material advantages, I came to have a life here with my family just like any other kid would with their families, not a quid pro quo’. But I just told her “I don’t know” , and she replied “then why did you come live with us honey?” and she didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and said “why not come stay here?” I had unfortunately received some invalidating comments from others that I’ve tried to speak to about my trauma, they’ve said things like “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and another person said “you don’t seem to realize that you’re wanting a warped and distorted image of your family” “you are not your brother you’re not their kid” and I’ve basically been labeled as having some kind of “sense of entitlement”. So for a kid or young person to have an innate desire and need to have a family home or to simply live with his or hers own family they would have a “sense of entitlement”? What kind of cold world do we live in? Isn’t every kid or young person deserving of what I believe to be the most basic, simplest thing that any young person could have, which is a family home, or to simply live with one’s own blood relational family, in a home? With parents, caregivers, siblings, etc? Shouldn’t it be like the norm and standard for every kid or young person? But for some reason, I’m being considered by some people as like bad, evil or reprehensible for trying to have that with my own family? I tend to think if my friends can live with their families, why can’t I live with mine? I once had a former friend who I thought would always be validating of my trauma, but he one time went against me and invalidated me and said; “Well they raised your brother! They raised him and not you so he’s their kid!” and he laughed at me. So whose kid am I? Where does that leave me then? and so after some years later I came to figure out, that perhaps the reason why I was treated the way I was treated by my family, was all because they raised my sibling and they never raised me. I can’t believe that, I went through that whole process, of getting away from my father, and finally got to be with my extended family and my brother that I never got to grow up with since we were born, and after going through such a nightmarish life with a narcissist father, only for it to, pretty much, backfire on me? all because ‘they raised him and not me’. So in order for a kid or young person to live with his or hers own family they have to be born and raised into it? And it’s unfair to me how my brother got to have what they called a “privileged life” while my life and upbringing got robbed by a toxic father. I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said ‘how in the world can you not be allowed just the same if not more’. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere with my father. They treated me as equally as their two boys, I wanted that with my family and my brother. It’s incredibly sad and disheartening to me that, I go to my family expecting all the love and care in the world, only to seemingly be met with sort of the opposite, I just don’t understand that if they can love and care for one kid all of his life why can’t they do just the same for the other? I believe every kid and young person deserves a good home life with their families. But I guess I can’t have that with my own family all because they raised him and not me. I was told that there was only one baby on the table… They bought a condo and now my brother is living in it for free… We never chose our parents. and I never chose this life…

Neato. I wish I would at one point get really into rocks and learn a lot more. I know I find it interesting but I'm so caught up with other interests for now. There will b time I hope. I love collecting rocks

you are crazy. Seek help

This popped in my feed while I'm really hurting. Thank you 😭 I've had to move back in with abusive family while dealing with a custody battle. I feel so lonely. Bless you

The timing on this video is unreal. Thanks KZbin for recommending. My wife is going through a tough situation with her family right now, and this video is exactly what we needed to hear. Thank you Diniel!

My wife has been doing this lately. She reneged on a promise and held me to a standard that she was not willing to place on herself. When I tried to talk to her about it, she was quick to just say it should he forgotten about.

Family 101, 101 views 🤣

Dysfunctional family starts with single moms.

Diniel, I question whether I’m a bit of a narcissist or not. Problem is, if I am, I’m not sure narcissists have the ability to even change. You’d have to catch it at a young age. That being said, I have absolutely no desire to control others. I might be all about me me me, but when it comes to others, most of the time, I just want them all to leave me alone.

You did great with the video!!!

Although it is of course "a spectrum," I do kinda feel like the one universal trait all autistic people possess to some degree is an intrinsic and natural desire for alone time. In fact, if we don't take this time for ourselves, we will turn into the worst versions of ourselves and start lashing out at others. At some point 'enough is enough,' but it does make me feel a little bit better about the looming loneliness epidemic pervasive amongst the younger generations (now cutting across all genders) is something we autistic people can naturally cope with a bit more naturally than your average neurotypical.

Hi, I'm not trying to pick fun (feel free to delete this comment after you correct it) since I know you're smart enough for this to have just been a type (plus s and e are right next to each other). 'Emostionse' probably should be changed to emotions?

Thank you! Much appreciated and respect! You are doing great work girl! Keep on shining! Takes alot of courage and ur rocking it ❤💯🌹✌️💪😎🙏

❤

TY - definitely go through/ have these issues. Good way to describe the experience.

Well would u count me as married? We're common law for income tax

I love you.

Are you still alive?

Why?? What’s the point of jailing her up let her go back free in the yard lady, ur too old to be playing spider in a jar

Male black widows are not that big

She*

I think the video's you make are fantastic therapy for you And For other people ❤

I really wonder how much you realize that opening up on these videos Just how Healthy That is for you I think it is fantastic I believe that you are not just talking to the people On the other side of this But also two years 1:49 good stuff ❤❤❤

Kool

All 3

UR Not asking to much