I am bald! I love this!!!!! This is real cabaret. Bravo😂

Wonder what will be for bass' lament 😂

This song will never get old I love it so much

Brilliant!!!! Felt this

I really love this song from "The album"! Very genuine.

Super hilarious. Ms Zina and Marcy are super hilarious. OMG. Im in love!

👑Queen👑Leslie 👑4ever 👑

I′ve had much good luck as a performer I've been cast in almost every show From Carousel to Hair, Broadway--I was there But you′ll never never know Perhaps you picked me out last year in Phantom Or underneath my dirt in Miserab... Le But if you tried to pick me out of all the voices in the crowd I am certain that you must have had a problem I've had much good luck as a performer My plight is quite familiar To those who tread the boards At the Neberlander, Schubert, or Rialto And though I've got a great high C (Sings high C) The reaction seems to be "Well that was (insert adjective here) but we need you singing alto" Please give me a chance to sing melody Give me a crack at the tune I'm filled with chagrin every time I begin *By the light of the silvery moon One little shot at the melody Give me a moment to shine I′m sick of *Can′t help *Loving that man of mine Just look at Oklahoma for example That rousing title number of the show While everyone is singing Oklahoma I get *sky-y-y-y-y-y-y yo ho! And now a medley of some of my finer roles: *The hills are alive with the sound of music *Three little maids from school are we pert as a school girl well can be filled to the brim with girlish glee three little maids from school *Touch me its so easy to leave me *What mirror where? Which what where who who who? Such a pretty me. such a pretty me Please pull a few strings for the melody Don't care if the solo is teeny It would be Nirvana From Heaven such manna To sing something other than *sweeny I′m down on my knees for the melody I'm begging with all of my might Just half a bar! And let this girl be a star! To *night!!

I relate to this so muchhhh, im a deep alto that i can hardly copy a mezzo. But i also have very high whistle notes. However i hardly get the melody. This is the most relatable thing I've ever seen

Marcy & Zina-doesn’t get any comically/musically wittier/bettier! 😂 (hi @Marcy-hope alls well! I think you’ll enjoy my jazz piano teacher’s writing also-fellow genius! (myself excluded!) Inevitable Letdown: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iafHl35raL1mZ9E Another Birthday: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lYrTgGdviL-Drsk

Love, love, love!!

Wow why is this so true 🤣🤣🤣

ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏsᴍ 🎊

OMG. I have located the OG "Alto's Lament".

Nicely done!!!

Wonderful song!

what da fuck in this

just the best. have loved this song since you both sang it in Birmingham, AL years ago! thanks for creating such a joyful tune.

LMAO I'm from Silver Spring I love this so much!!!

THIS is the one I've been looking for - and of course, it's by one of the creators! With this song, It's easy to go for the quick laugh with heavy sarcasm & flat vocals - but as a real-life alto, imho it's 10 times funnier sung "for real" ( of course, with a bit of comic flair!) ... not to mention the pleasure of enjoying her very real talent! Thanks to all concerned for this vid!

Tragically underappreciated video. :)

Lyrics! You wouldn’t believe how everybody looked at me Like I was someone I’m supposed to be Like I’m someone that you knew You wouldn’t believe the stupid things these people care about But who am I to judge without a doubt The one who’s judging should be you You always said you loved Jack You said he was your favorite Ever since first grade, that’s always what you’d say You hated my choice of husbands And a lot of other things Can you blame me if I took his call And dared to run away? [spoken] Hi, I’m Claire McKenna, I sat alone at lunch in high school. I might-or might not-still put on shows for the dolls I still play with. I happen to be an expert on Native Americans and sustainable agriculture, make a mean Harvey Lawbanger, do magic tricks, and...marry the first boy I kissed. Which turned out to be decidedly not as romantic as it sounds. Rest assured, Grandma, I kept all that under my hat. Gone is the sad and lonely girl from Oklahoma Full of pimples, bad decisions, and regret She’s hanging up her headgear, her suspenders, and her heart And she’s going about as far as she can get Go tell that awkward, klutzy duck from Oklahoma Swan is what she’s doing from now on To you she may be a dear, but watch her disappear You think that she’s right here, but she is gone Gone is the little wounded mouse upon a prairie Who learned life doesn’t tell you what it brings She’s folded up her history, her frustration, and her doubt Love is nice, but now it’s time for other things Go tell the bumpkin from the house upon the prairie Transformation is what life is all about To you she may be a dear, but don’t you think it’s clear? You know that she has earned her ticket out If she were here, she’d finally get to breathe She’d finally get to rest She’d finally have some fun She wouldn’t be the first here with a suitcase full of dreams Maybe she would be the first with none Okay, that was dramatic But you know what I’m saying And don’t you think it’s all a little break? Gone is the sweet and tired girl from Oklahoma No one has to know she’s nothing left to lose She’s straightening her love life, her Doc Martens, and her past To walk in someone else’s gorgeous shoes Go tell that tuba-playing girl from Oklahoma The new names of all the stars she wished upon Tell her I forgive her Tell her that I free her Tell her that I love her But I just don’t wanna be her How do you still see her When she’s gone? Gone, gone, gone, gone

Devastating. Beautiful. Wise. Thank-you.

Zina, I'm sorry, this is annoying. It's cloyingly cutesy. I prefer "Narrow Bridge."

there needs to be a cast recording or demos's from this show, its wonderful.

You’re hilarious!

When you fall out of love, there is so much to do, There are so many closets to clean. There are boxes to stack, dreams to take back, Ultimatums to say and not mean. When you fall out of love, First you sob, then you sigh, And you wonder how phone bills can get up that high And you think to yourself, That you really did try. You really did try. When you fall out of love, Theres a lot to explain, There are so many angels to spin, Was it him, was it me? Either way now I'm free, though I don't know quite how to begin. Do I let down my hair? Do I put on a show? Do I go to a bar and kiss boys I don't know? As it finally sinks in that you really did go. You really did, really did go. You can tell your friends I was too crazy, I'll inform mine you were never around. Who knew there would be so many ways for beating this into the ground. Tell the whole office you never loved me, I'll tell the lunch room I never loved you. Isn't it funny how all of it, none of it, All of it, none of it's true. When you fall out of love, It's an absolute mess. Still the lessons are painfully clear. There is hurt to endure, But I think that I'm sure that it's part of the reason we're here. And your heart starts to crack, And you feel less than whole, But you realise the earth still spins round on it's pole. And you learn you can function with half of soul. And you're wanting to scream. But you don't say a word. When you fall out of love. At least, that's what I've heard.

You can hear the pain in the melody of this. Beautiful song ❤️

heheheeh i just love this song!

So beautiful song 🥰

Such a beautiful song, I fell in love with the moment I heard it. I have recently covered it, if anyone would like to take a look xo

Here from Ms. Lea Salonga's performance, this song is soo cute.

Instrumental?

Always enjoyable to listen and laugh with you John !!

Another timeless gem from the pen of John Forster! Bravo! Keep 'em coming. Or...on the other hand....

Don't make no sense, all this talent in one family!!

Just beautiful!

Bravo~~~^^

Someone needs to make an antimatics of this

Page 3 - Measure 25 - 0:42 Page 6 - Measure 47 - 1:22 Page 9 - Measure 73 - 2:10

This is honestly just facts

I was totally indifferent when it started, Broken-hearted's not a thing I like to be, So when he asked me to the movies, I said that might be OK, A decent way to spend an hour or two...or three. I maintained a cool composure throughout dinner, And I thought that he was nice, but nothing more, And after some Chablis it's true, There was a longing glance or two While walking through the village to my door. "I had a real nice time" I said, And softly tilted back my head, And if he was surprised he didn't look it. I said "I don't usually do this, But I got some tea upstairs..." And he gently took my hand, and then... He shook it. Is there anything more sexy than an apathetic man? What could possibly more set your soul on fire Than a man who holds you to him, With eyes of darkest brown, Looks right through you with complete lack of desire? No, there's nothing more arousing than an apathetic man, Nothing builds your fever pitch to point of blister Than a soft and sultry baritone Who whispers in your ear, "Well, I think of you more like, you know, a sister". I used to think attentive men were better to adore, Men who'd champagne, caviar and then endive me, But nothing in the world can make my heart scream "Take me!" more Than a man who says that he could take or leave me. Is there any drug more potent than an apathetic man? Friends have screamed at me to quit to no avail, Why take chances on relationships with men that might work out, When you've got one that you know is doomed to fail? There's no better science project than the apathetic man, Though he's really not a theory you can prove, That won't stop you from the hundreds of experiments you'll try Thinking you're the one who's gonna make him move. So you'll don a fuzzy sweater in a lovely shade of pink, Trace a sweet vanilla path behind your ear, Then you'll bat your baby blue eyes as you sit upon his lap, And he'll murmur "Oh that's right, are you still here?" ! Is there anything more swoony than an apathetic man? Ladies try one, they are not too hard to find. Why spend time on friends and family when you can spend your life Wondering what the hell is going through his mind? No there's nothing that's more moony than an apathetic man, Though you're sure to make him yours the twelfth of...never! So remember, if you want to love with passion unconstricted, Bypass smitten, slightly interested and woefully conflicted, For you'll find the vice that's sure to make you totally addicted Is the apathetic man! Apathetic Man by Marcy Heisler and Zina Goldrich

Im not even an alto and I relate to this song so much. Probably because soprano two gets like this sometimes. We're the Altos when the Altos arent good enough

Been there, done that, didn't get a tee-shirt...

All my life my head’s been filled with questions. Who exactly am I meant to be. How does one begin to rule a country? How to shoulder all this destiny? What’s the thing that makes a life worth living? Why in fact is everybody here? What is right and wrong? Then you came along and suddenly the mysteries are clear. Right before my eyes there’s a smile to be a king for. Right before my eyes there’s a girl I long to know. There’s a heart I long to conquer. There’s a hand I long to hold. There’s a feeling I might spend my lifetime loving growing old. I have come here all my life with a hundred thousand questions. Now questions fall away and much to my surprise Fate was listening indeed. All the answers I need are here and real and right before my eyes. For the first time I believe I’m worth the path my life may take. For the first I believe that one can dream while wide awake. For the first time all embrace the choice that history has made. What the future holds, i’ll face it unafraid. But right before my eyes there’s a someone to believe in. I can’t help but hope maybe she believes in me. There’s a girl build a dream with. Funny, honest, full of pride. There’s a feeling I might spend my lifetime standing by her side. I have come here all my life with hundred thousand questions. Now the answers come, but only one applies. Fate was listening above for I found it in the love that’s here and real and right before my eyes.

Where can I buy sheet music/leadsheet with lyrics to this amazing song. 🙏🙏🙏

Amazing!!!

saw this at ITS Nationals this year and it killed me. I love you both so much!

Hey, Jill! We worked together on Regal Cruises! So great to hear you again! You're perfect!

I’m wanting to sing this for an audition, what should I search on KZbin? Cage the elephant, a punk band keeps coming up instead of this lol.