Get your lawyers ready, you fuck!

rediscovering this music after so long... thought I was so cool in high school since this was my favorite musical instead of all the other theater kids liking les mis and wicked (still awesome of course). great writing, great voices, thank you for creating this masterpiece <3

I love this song so bloody much! Someone said something earlier, the phrase "we'll rock hard with only four chairs" popped into my head and I wound up here. Delightful! Also, props for shouting out "The Rink". Kander & Ebb are my homeboys and that show is underrated.

keenan and ed wynn would be so proud

Woo hoo! LOVE IT!!!

Is this gonna be Wet Hot American Summer the musical? Please let this become Wet Hot American Summer the musical!!!

Rapist Fuck!

This takes me back to my uni days. I binge listened to this cast recording so much ❤

this hit me right in the gay

Very flat

Best mark of a performer: when they turn to their friends and say "YOU YOU YOU" before they take their own bow.

Someone please send this to Illegal Chandler ASAP.

I'm currently a "content creator" as they say nowadays and this song has helped me so much lately. It's hard to not compare yourself to others, but you just gotta commit to creating something you want to see and there will be 9 other people out there <3

Heather to the other Heathers while practicing Candy Store:

Jessica!! I love her so much! ♥️♥️😍😍

I totally love this song so much! I'm putting it into my solo show!

I am so loving this!

i need the lyrics soooo much

Hunter is giving major daddy vibes and I think I’m falling in love

I love this song.... it makes me feel better along with the song 'Die vampire, Die'

damn she's a good singer

Alright, here’s my attempt at the lyrics. There's one part I can't make out in parenthesis. If any of y'all know or have a better guess, please lemme know: STOP! What the f--? Seriously, you guys suck. I have never seen such a horrid disgrace, Your lack of technique is a slap in the face. We’ve been at this two whole hours, What am I doing wrong? You would think you fools would know the steps by now But you don’t! Get your head out of the clouds It is one little simple song! This is a clusterfuck that Michael Bennett would never allow. Think of Sondheim, Think of Charles Strauss, God, I feel like I’m watching regional theatre, It’s like I’m at the Cleveland Playhouse. Seriously, you guys suck! Your focus this week is all over the place, Your crappy routine is a smack in the face! Seriously, you guys suck! They’ll point and they’ll laugh, they’ll boo and they’ll hiss! You’re pissing me off! So listen to this: Once upon a time this girl had big dreams of hope; She was gonna sing and see her name in lights. My best friend dared me to dance to the theme from Barnaby Jones. We practiced all day and sweated into the night. But then we made the mistake of inviting my mother to watch. Then she mocked us both, then she shocked us both As she (doesn't repress her desire(??)) And said, seriously, you guys suck! She was making me strong as she pointed and laughed- I was owning the song, I was honing my craft! Seriously, you guys suck! I'm beyond appalled and I can’t believe how you botched it all, So watch me now it’s- Here! And then it’s here! And then it’s here! Fshssa, fshssa, fshssa, fshssa! Watch out for this: five, four, four, uh, uh, here! Wooaah, here! And then it’s here! Watch it, watch it, watch it. And feel the triplet, triplet, triplet, triplet… Hey… Look at me, mama. Am I making you proud as I dance for a crowd In a forest somewhere in Maine? Hey… Here I am, mama. One day I’ll come around and surely rebound As I let go of all the pain. Remember our special afternoons? Watching General Hospital together? I would sneak into the office every day at three o’clock To see what’s going on with Laura and Luke. Do you think they’ll stop Niko Cassadine From trying to freeze the world? And when Tiffany and Scorpio come to the rescue? I have so many questions, But perhaps the biggest question: Is why are you such a crazy fucking bitch? Were you trying to make me special? Or just trying to make me mad? Did you have one ounce of compunction As you encouraged dysfunction from dad? Did the two of you think you were doing me a favor By pushing me firmly along? Well my behavior proves that your parenting moves Were apparently very wrong! No, seriously! You guys suck!! We all know now were my issues stem And until I’m 47 and I get some proper therapy I’m taking out on them! Seriously, you guys suck! So what; a firing squad of jeers and snorts? Let’s do this for Godspell and Steven Schwartz. Seriously, you guys suck! Perhaps, most of all, you suck because You helped me remember I wanted applause! And I don’t want what happened to me Happen to you tonight when You take the stage! So feel your rage! And let’s kick some musical theatre ass, you know! So none of us will hear the words: You. Guys. Suck. Ever again!! Take a break and think about what you’ve done! >:(

Still no lyrics. Damn

imagine: heather chandler sings it to the other heathers

What a joy to see this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing.

This song lives rent free in my head

Illegal heather chandler to her cast

when you see this was uploaded approx ten years later after their og run this hits you good

What......What have I stumbled upon heere?

My ballet teacher to us when we can’t get the choreography

4:34 and 5:13: timestamp of my fave parts! XD

I've only ever heard the cast recording version of this and its different but sooo good!!!! I wanna make my band learn it now ahahahaha

this is such a great attitude for artist to take and has become my favorite song because of it

I really like hearing this song with new instruments, and the harmonies are AMAZING!!! Love [tos]!!

[Lyrics] STOP! What the F- Seriously, you guys suck. I have never seen such a horrid disgrace. Your lack of technique is a slap in the face. We've been at this two whole hours. What am I doing wrong? You would think you fools would know the steps by now. But you don't! Get your heads out of the clouds. It's one little simple song. This is a clusterfuck that Michael Bennett would never allow. Think of Sondheim. Think of Charles Strouse. God, I feel like I'm watching regional theater. It's like I'm at the Cleveland Playhouse. Seriously, you guys suck! Your focus is weak. It's all over the place. Your crappy routine is a smack in the face. Seriously, you guys suck! They'll point and they'll laugh. They'll boo and they'll hiss. You're pissing me off, so listen to this. Once upon a time, this girl had big dreams of her own. She was gonna sail, and see her name in lights. My best friend asked me to dance to the theme from Barnaby Jones. We practiced all day and sweated into the night. And then we made the mistake of inviting my mother to watch. She mocked us both, then she shocked us both and she guzzled a [fresco?] with Scotch. And said, "Seriously, you guys sucked!" She was making me strong I've been honing it ah- I was honing the song. I was honing my craft. Seriously, you guys suck! I'm beyond appalled, and I can't believe how you botched it all, so watch me now. It goes here. And then it's here. And then it's here (fs, fs, fs, fs, fs, fs) Watch out for this! Five! Four! (Bar!?) Uh, uh! Here. Woah, here. And then it's here. (fouette, fouette, fouette) And feel the triplet, triplet, triplet, triplet. Hey... Look at me Mama. Am I making you proud, as I dance for a crowd, In a forest somewhere in Maine. Hey, here I am Mama. One day I'll come around and surely rebound, As I let go of all of the pain. Remember our special afternoons, Watching General Hospital together? I've been sneaking into the office everyday at three o'clock to see what's going on with Laura and Luke. Do you think they'll stop Mikkos Cassadine from trying to freeze the world? And will Tiffany and Sorvino come to the rescue? I have so many questions. But perhaps the biggest question is, "Why were you such a crazy fucking bitch?" Were you trying to make me special? Or just trying to make me mad? Did you have one ounce compunction, As you encouraged dysfunction from dad? Did the two of you think you were doing me a favor by pushing me firmly along? Well mom, behavior proves that your parenting moves were apparently very wrong. No, Seriously. You guys suck! We all know now where our issues stem. And until I'm 47 and I get some proper therapy, I'm taking it out on them. Seriosuly, you guys suck! So what a firing squad of tears and snots We'll do this for [Gospel?] and [Steven Schloss?]. Seriously, you guys suck! Perhaps most of all, you suck because, You helped me remember, I wanted applause. And I don't want what happened to me, happen to you tonight when you take the stage. So be on range, and let's kick some musical theater ass tonight. We're probably gonna to hear the words, "You guys sucked," everyday. Take a break and think about what you've done. (I apologize for any mistakes or missed words. I did this all by ear and I'm not good with names, (yes I tried to look them up.))

The solo illegal Heather Chandler deserved

This is the speech we got from the choreographer the day before opening night of every musical in high school, well minus the stuff about her mother. Is this a some reverse psychology secret that choreographers all do? This song took me back, but I tell you what, we danced our little butts off opening night after that lashing.

Still no lyrics?

We can either follow our instinct Or take advice from every joker We can either be distinct Or wind up merely mediocre But not me Not me When we set out to write this musical We said we’d write a show that we wanna see We knew we’d never please everyone Remember that day at Gristedes You said to me You said to me I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing Nine peoples favorite thing Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing HUNTER Yeah, you’re right, Jeffy let’s not compromise Let’s keep making something we’ve never seen A risk was taken with ‘On the Town’ And look what happened Betty and Adolph burst Onto the scene JEFF AND HUNTER A shout out to Comden and Green And when Bock and Harnick were writing ‘Tenderloin’ They were taking a risk to write a show about whores When Kander and Ebb were working on the Rink I’d like to think at some point; John looked at Fred and said I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing JEFF, HUNTER, SUSAN, AND HEIDI Nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing HEIDI When you handed me the first draft of this show I’ll admit I was a little bit ‘what the fuck?’ But I’m not giving up on you guys until all of us have learned to knit On the bus and truck On the bus and truck And who says four chairs and a keyboard Can’t make a musical We’re enough with only that keyboard We’re okay with only four chairs We’ll be fine with only four chairs We’ll rock hard with only four chairs JEFF, HUNTER, SUSAN, AND HEIDI Ahhh-ah Oooo-ah Ahhh-ah Oooo-ahhhhhhh SUSAN I am eight years old in Ohio It is time for the annual church bazaar There’s a cake-baking contest I am going to be the big star But I don’t want to make a German chocolate And a seven-layer I’ll never complete So I show up with pride this morning With a tray of rice-crispie treats And they try to push them aside Say that they are too strange to compete And sure, most of the judges award the red velvet But one picks the rice-crispie treats Let our show be the rice-crispie treat I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing Than a hundred peoples ninth favorite thing SUSAN AND HEIDI Nine people’s favorite thing Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing JEFF, HUNTER, SUSAN, AND HEIDI Those nine people will tell nine people Then we’ll have eighteen people loving the show Then eighteen people could grow into Five-hundred and twenty-five-thousand, six-hundred people Loving our show JEFF AND HUNTER And maybe someday if we’re lucky enough We’ll all be in a studio recording the show JEFF, HUNTER, SUSAN, AND HEIDI And ten years from now when we play the cast album This track on the CD Will remind us of why we’d rather be Nine peoples favorite thing Than a hundred peoples ninth favorite thing Nine people’s favorite thing Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing JEFF AND HUNTER So the decision’s made And we’re on our way And we may lose or maybe we might Be nine people’s favorite thing HEIDI AND SUSAN Nine people’s favorite JEFF, HUNTER, SUSAN, AND HEIDI When we open tonight Tonight

The two dislikes are heather McNamara and heather duke

Jessica and Heathers original cast after seeing Riverdales musical episode remake:

The two dislikes is from Heather Duke and Heather McNamara 😂

It sounds super weird with orchestrations aside from piano

1 dislike? Nice try, Heather Duke!

I just played Hunter! Love this show!

Anyone has the lyrics to this whole song?

ugh she's so amazing

jessica: exists me: :))))))))

If Jacob, Ashleigh, or Caitlin see this comment, they'll probably say "Wow."

Heather Chandler in the illegal heathers after the show