Hi Lori, I have just come across your amazing channel as I am trying to find what to say to a child who hits and shouts at my daughter during our meeting with the teacher. I would greatly appreciate your advice. Thank you :)

N that’s why u have these sensitive cry babies kids that can’t handle anything in the real world

All the most misbehaved spoiled and entitled kids I know, have this type of mom. Coincidence? I think not.

So they don't apologize for their negative actions.

She did the nothing but have a passive aggressive attitude

The woman on the left helped a lottt

Go ask any school teacher if this gentle parenting is making more well behaved and more emotionally children

Nah ima BTA

I don’t think gentle parenting is good for your children cause there going to grow up being gentle and there kids are going to keep being bad cause there not handling there behavior

Its not him aggressive that annoys me its the fact that he treats them like his best friend, always trying to get validation off them all the while undermining anything i say or do...always undermine me in front of them. It angers me.

Yeah, but they don’t always stop when you ask them to. Even in the latter version. My brother and sister in law do the latter, but their kids continue to do the things that they (and everyone else) ask them to stop doing. They think it’s funny. If you get anymore firm, they have a meltdown and their parents immediately relent and tell them it wasn’t their fault. Their eldest son, 8, has never been able to make friends in school (he doesn’t respect the boundaries of other children) and he gives all of the staff a really hard time. The neighbors have kids of a similar age, and he’s been uninvited from all of their homes because he is so aggressive with their kids and disrespectful to their homes. The kids will tell him “no” or “or please stop” and he seems to like this or not care, and just continue or push further. It scares me for what that means for him as a teen or an adult. They put him in a new “special school” and keep trying to get him diagnosed with something for more “resources and protections”. Protections from what? Boundaries? Consequences? They seem to just shrug and say “kids are challenging, am I right?? 🤷🏻‍♀️”. The youngest son is sweeter, but he is just as chaotic. I know there’s a lot of [seemingly] good and knowledgeable gentle parents online. They’re on blogs, articles, videos, and in the comments. It all sounds really good, and I can agree with many parts. You should never abuse or actively be cruel/humiliate your kids. You should be clear and firm and respectful. They have thoughts like any other human. But we think gentle parenting looks like the “gentle parenting meme” because in real life (offline) we see a ton of “gentle parents” who are literally behaving like the meme. I’m sorry to let you know that there are a ton of parents who are calling themselves “gentle parents” but are not following through on the ideal version of the parenting style that you guys talk about online. They are inconsistent, inconsiderate, and their kids are tyrants and we have to deal with them and their kids in real life. Yall get a bad rep because there are so many people representing you poorly. Instead of pretending like there isn’t an issue and getting upset at people who experience the issue in real life, you should acknowledge the issue and encourage parents to make sure they understand the parenting style they’re promoting.

THIS DOES NOT WORK. STOP NEGOTIATING WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

Thank you for this video--I am trying to find videos about mother and teen son repairing relationship after leaving a domestic violence situation. Please comment resources.

Neither is great. No consequences for poor behaviour. How are children supposed to learn boundaries?

“ addressing the situation? “ growing up my mom would whoop our butts if we did something like that lol

How do I get them?

Nah you gotta say " You better knock that sh*t off. I'm not gonna f*cking say it again."

Both are the same to me.

Both are useless. Stop tolerating bad behaviors. Be strict against any disrespectful or untruthful things. Dont be afraid to spank. They wont die. They'll have a healthy fear of you.

Stupid. The slippery slope between gentle parenting and permissive parenting is too close. I know kids who still would not obey the second example in this video. "Why don't you *try* to throw it in the trashcan??" TELL THEM to throw it in the trashcan, geez woman

No that still dont work.... How is it verbal abuse telling them to stop bloody what they're doing? They're not going to be traumatised off it. How many soft ass people

So not helpful I don't get it

Right! 😂❤

Your problem is teachers are no properly trained in effective student behavior management. That training is not an event but an ongoing program. If a soldier is not properly trained in for combat he is not going to survive. It's also a big reason why so many teachers don't survive. You must adapt or perish.

Yeahhhh…. I don’t need y’all on how to raise my kids. I ain’t raising my kids to be soft and weak. The world around ain’t gonna always be easy on them………. It’s cold out there 😐 you better prepare them for it

Thank you for the insight. We need education about Aspies and I don’t hear a lot about it.

Let me do a thought experiment with you: If a deaf mom and dad have a child with normal hearing, and the kid is too young to have sign language conversations with them, I'm betting that - even if it's done without anger or exasperation or whatever - when the kid does something that's socially unacceptable, they'll Take Action to start training the kid via logical or natural consequences. They won't have a big "talk their way through it" moment with the kid. Kids speak and hear BEHAVIOR before they ever understand WORDS. ... And BTW, with all the Gentle Parenting focus online, the proponents really only seems to address how to respond to 2-6 year olds that are having "social dipstick" moments. They don't have much to say about situations such as teaching your children to work hard, to accept responsibility, to set goals, to be resilient, to be assertive in healthy ways, to serve and contribute, to be independent, to compete, to cooperate, to develop self discipline, to be a leader, to be a critical thinker. It seems it's 90% about how to interact with them without going overboard, when they're basically being a social dipstick. No offense - we all expect that occasionally at those ages.

My parents used spankings as a last resort, when all else fails, grab the belt . Discipline isn’t a one size fits all , both my brother and baby sister were never spanked and they turned out good , my younger sister and I were spanked and were turned out fine too . If gentle parenting isn’t working, you have to adjust your parenting skills accordingly.

It’s the same thing 🙄

OK great (throws paper in her face when they are done the orange)

Name it and tame it!!!! I love this idea! ❤❤❤

Most useful advice. As early as 4 I concluded "this aldult feels so upset bc they have no clue what they are doing nor can them explain themselves" and just stop listening 🙃

my experience were different, one slap fix my sons attitude quickly than me pleading and blabbering words that he didnt even care to listen at all. he just 2 years old at that time, biting me for fun and breasfeeding was traumatic. and after that gentle parenting really works.

Lol This explains a lot

Thank you for expressing your emotion by throwing that paper in my face😊

Yeah, she’s wrong. I haven’t answered but literally is the most gentle parenting ever.

I know this and I STILL have a hard time with not defaulting to punishment sometimes. 🤦‍♀️

So anyone who isn't passive and sets boundaries is abusive 😂

The only difference between the two is first was passive and the second she looks passive aggressive.

I been over my brothers and around his kids there daughter been. Talking shit or verbally abusive out of no where to point im like dud i dont want to be around the kid. I love the kid but behaviors are also learned and seems like theres no end no matter how many times i asked her why she said it and or that that was hurtful why does she want to have that sort of relationship with me or anyone. I ask her kindly and it seems like she hears it one min the next shes insulting or snatching things out of my hand. Its like an entitled vibe like youll still love me even tho i treat you like shit. I checked her last time and told her im not having fun with her and if she does not like me enough to be kind to me then i dont want to be around her. It sucks but the kid is acting like the kid in good son movie. I dont even recognize her anymore

Just got a call from the school, I'm going through exactly the same 💔, I really at a point where i dont know what else to do...😢, thanks for this, I will try my best.

What about a 13 year old? Or 17 year old? is it too late?

lol tried it…a 3 year old doesn’t care that you want it in the trash can cause you asked them nicely…they think it’s more fun to throw it. They do no reason like adults. I’ve tried the calmly explaining to my son why we don’t do certain things…couldn’t care any less. He only responds to a raised voice (not screaming/cussing) and time outs. After his time out is when he gets the talking to of why we don’t behave the way he has.

The teachers kept saying every year my child needed meds. That was not true.

Lame

Those two are the same thing.

Yeah. It's exactly what I thought it was: zero consequences for unacceptable behavior. Stern tone. People do not realize they are setting their children up for failure by not disciplining their kids. It's very sad and unfair to the children. They only get spoken to about it. I know too many kids parented like this and they are unbearable to be around.

Oohhh white people!!! 😂😂😂

What a joke ,this is what's wrong with this weak generation. 🤡 'S

Both examples are the same thing, 5 min later paper in the face