❤everytime...

Who is the narcisist in your opinion? Amber or Johnny?

Why bother... Nothing truly matters for we are all already dead.

I learned this in group therapy. Great to know, harder to actually incorporate in real in life. Like you said, it's what we are used to. I'm (unfortunately) more of a black and white person, but working on it.

Hi Chris. I've been watching a channel about spirituality where is talked about that we attract based on energetic resonance, which has it's roots in the form unprocessed negative emotions from our past stuck in our nervous system, basically where I am getting is that processing the unpleasant emotions from the past is what removes the narcissists out from our lives and karma naturally takes care of them, but still what do you think about this statement. Wish you all the best.

I often have bursts of laughter at the sheer obviousness of your delivery.. It’s like “holy cow…the standard of creating healthy boundaries and individuation should’ve been the standard from the get go…” why did we think otherwise?!?😂 thanks for your wisdom Chris

Love this so far. You are bringing a lot of awareness to the area of my life where I idolize people… so so common

Love is painful. Love is desire. I desire to eat and drink. Yet I can go hours and days without doing so. I will feel hunger pangs and my mouth would be parch. I know what I’m doing to my body for whatever purpose it is. Love is everything. Love is not linear. The definition of love states is desire and passion. It feels the same way with and without. In the midst of fasting, I fill those voids with gratitude. Setting boundaries is love. It’s painful to keep a distance from family and friends you grew up with. Yet as time goes by the gratitude you feel will ease those tensions because you understand what you get out of it.

Pure wisdom! Awesome video ❤

Hey Chris. I've been studying and practicing a method called ifs - internal family systems in a way to better understand the authentic self and to heal trauma from the past, and in ifs there is a concept of parts, protective parts, exiled parts and the self, and in regards to the protective parts their job is block out the exiles from the self so that their pain cannot be felt, do you think the protector parts have black and white thinking patterns.

Thank you so much!

Great message! 😊 It's very hurtful to not be seen.

You are in my head, it’s freaking me out a bit, but thank you for so succinctly putting into words huge and difficult topics that have taken me years to work through and realize.

Your videos are so helpful, thank you. It really gives me hope that I’ll find healthy boundary respecting love some day 💙

Hearts out

any good recommendations or resources to learn about identifying and practicing differentiation and individuation?

Abusive people are very competitive I find.

The things you are saying feels very punk to me in a way because it feels like ‘love as pain’ is the norm. You become uncool wanting something healthy and consistent.

Hey! so I came here after watching your video about projecting your past fears onto the present and the future because it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was blinded by fear from past experiences and boom your video was on my fyp. I hope this comment encourages you to keep on going. thank you.

I avoided even watching this video based on the topic itself.

i can't keep living like this. they'll never be pleased. thank you youtube man i really needed to hear this.

Why did nobody comment on this video? This video is actually helpful like this guy needs some actual likes on this video.❤🎉

You end up with dismissive avoidant partners who will also call you difficult or a problem, needy or too much 🤦

As a child I was raised in a devout Catholic home. I was an alter boy, in Boy Scouts, an A student, played sports, ran track, took care of my siblings because I was the oldest and I did all of this to please my parents or teachers. I was always seeking approval. I thought their love and approval was conditional. If I did well I would be rewarded not for who I was but for the things I accomplished. I’ve lived with that mindset all my life. Now I’m retired, I have no boss to please, my parents have died and my husband passed away 7 yrs ago so I have no one to seek approval from but myself. It has taken many years to realize that my worth is not determined by what I do for others but the person that I am which is still a work in progress.

It’s so strange I’m a people pleaser and so afraid of people not liking me but at the same time saying I don’t care what people think about me

You are hitting such a chord with me. I work so damn hard just to be seen but it isn’t really me and it produces no real fruit. I recently just stopped.

Worse when adult people pleasers sacrifice the wellbeing of their own families for the appeal and acceptance of strangers. Difficult to reconcile the good your parent/spouse wants for you, with the backseat you must take to 'outsiders' even while it destroys the family, generationally continuing the cycle of resentment and people pleasing.

Finding your channel has been such a blessing

It feels like you’re fanning a flame into something that I’ve been working through the last year and a half. Especially, as you put it plainly, walking away from things you simply DONT want to do. Saying yes to things you want to say no to and no to things you want to say yes to. Incredible. Subscribed!

Needed this.❤

I think it’s important to make note too that bringing your energy back to you involves working on yourself. Just because you stop chasing doesn’t mean you’re still not avoiding something. Especially dealing with a dismissive avoidant. The chase from his end disappeared but he is still not bringing his energy back to himself in a healthy way. Thus being dismissive avoidant. It’s being able to stop the chase (ie: quit chasing the avoidant and bring your energy back to yourself) in a healthy way that allows you to heal and not attract or be attracted to unhealthy people like this ever again.

Agreed! I'm good at projection😅

We become actors

Good stuff Chris

Generational trauma gets passed down from our dead relatives we never met.

Yeah😢 now be 💪🏻

Wow, never heard using “fawn” as one of the stress responses but babyyyyyy looks like everyone just found their new stress response they relate to 🥲🥲 horrifyingly eye opening and I thank you for it.

We learned that we are flawed and our only value lies within our functionality for someone else.

Great video, wish you the best.

Great info!

It's so sad to see how pervasive this wound, this trance, of unworthiness is. It's not just in the homestead, it's a virus in the collective. Governments, schools, media, they're all complicit because those systems all stand to gain from you relinquishing your power, your identity, and your will. And they all work together to prop each other up. I guess that's what you meant by the matrix being a trauma projection or trauma program. And majority of the population is caught in a Stockholm syndrome, in bed with their abuser, because they've been gaslit into thinking that's the only place to be. I'm only currently in the process of waking up from my lifelong trance, but the layers to this shit is crazyyy😅

to all who listens> also, please do not confuse external validation with a natural human need to connect with others

Exactly. I haven’t had many relationships but I learned from the last one big time. I am done chasing. It just hurts and keeps you emotionally & energetically drained. If you love someone you don’t play games with them like that, it’s honestly cruel. I am at that point of realization and reclaiming myself. Thank you for this, it is timely & effective.

The World: Your opinions don't matter until you get other people to agree with you

Incredible message!! Thanks ❤

I used to feel so judged for leaving relationships in the past. But I didn't leave, I just stopped the chase.

This information is so helpful. Thank you

Thanks so much for this video i needed it

as a childhood trauma survivor/ people pleaser who has lived more than 20 years of her life in this cage of fear that you so wonderfully painted with words, i agree with every word you said, felt very relatable, eventhough i myself make content around these topics, sometimes on a bad day ,when you're drowning in your own darkness, you just need to hear it from someone else and feel like you're not the only one. thank you

Chris man, I could be wrong but I think you got an admirer in the comments here.