Unfortunately she passed away in 2016

You won't know thar until it actually happens but the most important thing to remember is to honour whatever you feel. When Damien, my partner, died I remember feeling a whole range of emotions but guilt was the predominant one. I felt like I had done enough for him in life and by dying he was saying I wasn't good enough. It was totally irrational because he died suddenly of a massive traumatic brain injury but it was how it felt. I sat with the emptiness and guilt for a year and a half to give myself time to process it and then chose to go onto medication to help with the depression and sense of loss. It was hard but worthwhile. 5 years on and I'm in a much better place but I still miss him every day.