i've had to deal with this social stuff for like my whole life. I've always hung around boys and men, and the first inkling i ever had that I somehow didn't belong was when no one wanted to pass me the ball in soccer or basketball. when boys would kind of ignore me no matter how friendly i was. it's really complicated because i also have autism and can't read cues or learn social rules as well as i'd like, but i can see a lot of those little judgements people make about me just from how they treat me. sure, i don't like feeling ignored or undermined but i think the biggest impact this has had is on my self-esteem. I find it hard to see myself in a positive light, in respect to gender. It feels like I always come off as annoying, ignorant, self-centered, sensitive, irrational, etc. ever since i started considering myself trans i just feel so scrutinized all the time. even by myself. does crossing my legs make me a woman? is my hair too short and now it can't make my jawline seem sharper? the whole point of being trans was to get away from that discomfort but it feels like nothing's changed.

this really spoke to me. thanks for posting

Great content, as always! I have a quick question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?

Hi Adrian, if you don't mind me asking, how did it go? I have my in-person consultation on Thursday. Have you had top surgery yet? I hope you're well. And Thank you for the video it makes me feel slightly at ease to see someone else going through the same process with Dr Kneeshaw. All the best man 🙏🏼

he’s such a transphobe

hey, how'd it go? how are you rn?

I'll be one year on t new years day

This is definitely one of the more important videos I've seen so far. So much of trans videos focuses on the medical side and the 'im so much happier. I'm me!!' which is great. But not many videos out there explaining really what to expect when you do eventually 'switch' over to the other side of the spectrum and how you are perceived and treated because of it. From being infantilized and looked down on, but having a robust support system, to becoming the center of the world, the leader of everything, and being so utterly alone in it all.... It's gotta be tough and it's a real wake up call for pre-T trans guys. We all need to be aware of this going in so we're not taken by surprise and left alone and lost.

One whole month! Lets have a parade!

Being mtf sucks balls ... Which I don't want to have, btw

PLEASE STAY SAFE ANYWAYS AS A MAN! Rapists don't care what gender you are I promise you personally

As soon as he said patriarchy I paused to fist pump and shout "sing sing sing!" You're singing my song brother!

I started the gel today!! I'm so happy. I know this video is a few years old, but thank you for sharing your experience. It helps to remember that I'm part of a community full of wonderful people. ^^ 💙

Pelease add me tô The group

You look so good💯

None of the other kids at school treat me like a boy. I technically have the right to use the bathroom I feel comfortable with. My school has a single use bathroom, but the majority use it to drop absolute atomic bombs in and some I really can’t hold it for another 3 hours till I get home. So I use the boys stalled bathroom. I always make sure to scope it out and make sure no one else is in there. I keep my head down and I stay as quiet as possible. I am as uncomfortable being in there as cis guys seeing me in there. I remember I walked in the first floor bathroom and there were these too guys I knew in there, and they just kinda stopped and stared at me like “wtf is *she* doing in here”. Like if you don’t treat me as a guy don’t be shocked when I use the fucking bathroom.

How do you go about not being 'too much', esp in regards to the learned behaviours of making yourself more heard and taken seriously? Thank you for sharing your experiences! :)

So do you realize how dangerous T is. Next you realize you are and always will be a BIOLOGICAL FEMALE. You are only creating a illusion

Thanks, Adrian. 👊

with the loss of community part, I honestly just feel so uncomfortable around any community. I'm not a woman, so when I'm perceived as such it just makes me feel gross. I'm not a cis man, so I don't feel very welcomed by men - especially since I'm not very physically strong. I'm not really apart of any trans communities, I don't know any other trans people. When I have a crush on a girl I'm just seen as a lesbian, when I like a boy I am seen as a fetishizer. I don't really feel welcomed by any community, and I never have been. This is just my personal experience though.

How do you look so masculine, I’m a cis male and you have a stronger chin than me

When you don't pass, you can act and dress as a tomboy. You don't have to behave and dress feminine. That's my opinion.

The lower fear at night seems absolutely ridiculous considering men are FAR more likely to be physically assaulted when out alone at night than women. However, as a trans woman, while I have had far fewer scary moments since transitioning, each one feels far scarier than what I previously experienced when living as a man. Emotionally, everything is stronger on E, and fear/paranoia are certainly no exceptions. So, despite the seemingly fallacious reasoning behind the extra fear from women, it actually makes sense. Men might get mugged or shot alone at night, but women face a fate worse than death in the potential of not only being SAed, but of being captured and SAed indefinitely. Society is intentionally structured to strike great fear into women to keep them on leashes. As a trans man/trans masc person, an individual is taking off that leash.

I remember hanging out with my friends and they got onto the topic about Kris (the girl who transitioned on Mr Beast) and one of my friends said "If I learned my friend was transgender then I would stop being friends with them"... I'm so glad that I have friends who support me and I hope I still have them when I start transitioning.

It's super funny to me personally what you said about women being more supportive and feeling more like a community, but as a now transmasc, i have never felt supported in that community either because im ADHDautistic. I think we dont discuss enough the extra level of difficulty neurodivergency and ableism add to trans people's lives

I started a new job where im stealth last year in september, and I have this coworker who, though she hasnt done it in a while, who sometimes shout at my other coworkers to stop talking (all of them women) because I was trying to say something. It was genuinely unnerving that she did that

As a trans woman, I appreciate your perspective on going in the opposite direction. And yes. I don't always pass, but I still get way more support from women than I ever did from men as a man.

i really wish people would speak more about the social aspect of transitioning gender is SO COMPLEX and being able to experience both worlds makes us realize just how EVERYTHING changes and how much society rely on those roles as an androgynous pre t trans guy i feel kinda lost honestly, like i'm too masculine to pass as a woman and too feminine to pass as a man. This SUCKS cause either way i'll be seen as less valuable by other people. Its super weird trying to fit in, but hopefully it will get better when i start t anyway ty for the amazing video <33 it made me feel a little less alone. In the end even cis people are just trying to fit in, gender is dumb asf

This is more of a light hearted one, but I forgot men's shoes and women's shoes go by different sizes and the first time I bought shoes, once I started passing, I gave the women working there my women's shoe size on accident and she was so confused and then I had to awkwardly be like "oh, sorry that's my size in women's, women's shoes just fit me better" (which is true bc my feet are narrow af but still 🙃) Also strangers are meaner to me now. Fewer people smile at me when walking down the street, people harass me if I wear a mask, and I get homophobic slurs yelled at me from cars. I also feel like when I was perceived as female people treated me like I was stupid and now I have the opposite problem where everyone assumes I'm way more competent than I am 😅

Is that Dr. Peter Hammond? Did you see him privately? Where did you go for this? Or which region are you? My GP in London is refusing bridging or shared care, because of practice funding etc, nothing to do with not believing/trusting me, they simply won't fund it.

I never felt unsafe walking around at might as "female", the short lived phaze/experiment of wearing mini skirts & boots I was more aware of risk, but nothing happened & I did walk home alone at night. For the rest of my "female" like I was a tomboy or androgynous, & I felt very safe & left alone, I live in a city & often walk around at night, in fact choose it as I am self conscious & prefer not to see people. The more male I have become the more anxious I feel, its lone guys, particularly small or odd looking ones, that are at risk of being picks on by groups of youths, guys get murdered more too. So my experience has definitely been the opposite, it also doesn't help that being trans feels vulnerable & risky.

WAHOOOOO, hope the surgery goes well!

Update ^~^ I have my first private clinic appointment tomorrow for HRT for E whilst I wait for the NHS GIC appointments <3 But thank you for calming my nerves in the video it has helped.

Hello 🍒 Pay attention to video editing also. This is quite low, edit in good style. Because it is very important in your video.

You still look féminine

Hey adrian could you please block the hateful person in your comments? I dont think it's good to let then fester there and cause damage to your community

This is hitting me hard, mtf here and you talking about gaining a feeling of safety at night while I'm losing it and not handling it in the slightest, I feel blind and nieve to the recently increasing harrasment and attacks, and it sucks when I work so hard just to feel comfortable in my body and I now have to hide it terrified. I know girls through it all the time at such young ages but it doesn't make it easy being older going through attacks. I understand the privelge of starting male, but it goes to show, because I don't regret it, I just wanna be me so bad. I still feel bad for men when you talk about community cause it really is lonely in that male space sometimes. Overall though, I would prefer if women had male privalege too than the worst of both worlds we got right now 😂

Fantastic video. Thanks Adrian.

I’m a big dude muscle and weight wise, but short. I was taking out the trash at night and the first time a woman crossed the street to get away from me and when I realized she saw me as a threat, my heart sank.

Thank you for this educational video, hope it reaches more people and the shed their toxic masculinity 🫶🏽

I had the opposite experience. I was bullied by women and never felt like I was a part of any community. It felt like women just wanted to compete with me and they did all of those mind games and backstabbing. I had no social expectations with my transition but men turned out to be so supportive. I was terrified of going to the gym because I was skinny and weak and I thought I will be bullied but most men were hyping me up lol. I also noticed women are much nicer to me now than pre transition which really shocked me. I thought they would see me more as a threat but they're really nice to me now

That thing guys experience, like they're never allowed to express emotions or show vulnerability sucks. I'm MtF, and have strangely found myself as someone who gets a lot of guys opening up to me. Like, I've destroyed my man-card, and in so doing, have no expectations of them 'wearing their armor' emotionally. The stoic male thing sucks and I wish we could let that stereotype/expectation die. It's bad for people's mental health.

Transmen need to stay out of men's sports and spaces, especially as they have a biological advantage in mens' sports.

You are not looking at us in the camera but at yourself I feel😅

I'm pro trans - who cares! Why does it matter. I'm a member of the LGBTQ community, but I associate with the "G" community, because I cannot relate to the other experiences and they are very different than my lived experience. I question why we are lumped together as one community. Is that wrong of me? I welcome educational comments.

I'm biologically born as a male, but I've always felt uncomfortable playing as a male, so one day I decided to transition, and soon after I was surprised by the gender roles women were expected to play, which were not what I was expecting. Then I started to think that I'm non-binary, but it still doesn't feel right. And here we are a rebellious female in a traditional society and male patriarchy, nothing more exciting then that. Hopefully I don't get killed or starve to death anytime soon, wish me luck bro.

How much is your top surgery?

Good luck to your top surgery.😊😊 how much your top surgery fees?

Good luck for your top surgery consultation❤❤❤😊😊😊

Happy anniversary❤❤❤😊😊