Hey just wanted to say I loved this video it was super helpful for me but I just wanted to let you know you are the biological mother .the word your looking for is genetic mother .

Adoption will be easier because both the situation you have to tell the baby when he reaches 18 that you're not the biological mother and they will start searching for the egg donor. So carrying other woman's baby is a bad choice.

This is so depressing and I feel sad for you and also people like us/myself. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so weird to me the way they use the language of "donor eggs/embryos" almost like it's interchangeable for my eggs/embryos like it's almost the same thing when it absolutely is not. There's someone else's offspring, and there's my offspring. And those are not interchangeable things. And I think the trouble with the wording is it makes those of us who know and feel that it is not an option for us almost feel like we are bad for refusing it. What's even worse is, before even finding out what someone is willing or not willing to do, they'll use wording like "Are you not there yet?" or "Are you not ready for that yet?" Like they are sneakily inserting in a mandatory "option" on your behalf. And then they further gaslight us with the epigenetics BS. It's like, when people are trying to convince you to do "donor eggs" they say what really matters is growing the baby inside of you because then it's more like you in many ways than the parent of origin. But then why don't they say that when someone needs a surrogate? When you pay someone to carry your baby because you cannot carry do people consider the baby to be more like the surrogate and closer to the surrogate? Of course not. I would be crushed if I couldn't carry and needed a surrogate but I would still consider that baby mine while I would not consider a donor egg baby that I carried mine. As an anthropologist I will tell you that science shows that genetics actually influence people in so many ways far more than environment does. That's why we do studies on twins separated at birth because we can see how similar they are in so many ways. And how they always feel something is missing. Such a deluding, messed up situation. Even just recently a friend of mine was sharing her anxiety now that she has an Ancestry account that her dozens of children one day might find her on there to have a relationship with their mother. She donated eggs about 15 years ago and this anxiety has crept up because even though she's an egg donor she still knows there's a connection there no matter what. I think adopting a kid would almost be less painful than adopting an egg/embryo because when you do carry that baby even though that baby is not your true offspring, your body releases hormones and is tricked into believing it truly is 100% yours and you bond. And it's that much more painful when you see it become like the parent of origin or even worse, seek out the parent of origin down the line. I don't want a half him half her baby, I want our baby. :(

Thank you for this, we are considering this after 3 failed IVF cycles and I have all the same fears you talked about. It is nice to hear such an honest experience. Would love to hear an update how your family is doing now.

Thank you for this!

Thank you

So brave

Thank you for this video this really helps

Just want to say - you are amazing and strong for speaking out (and I hope it was therapeutic as well). I am at the start of the birdge, I never thoght i could go down the egg donor path. But after failed IVF and much grieving the feeling of acceptance comes around. Stories like yours really help, just wanted to let you nnow that.

Congrats on your baby girl and the strength you have had to go on this journey!! I’ve had a similar journey and now have a beautiful baby girl through IVF DE. Just wanted to add if it helps at all, I think of myself as her biological Mom as I gave birth to her and the genetic side of it as the donor, genetic background 😁 really helpful to hear I’m not alone!!❤

Thank you for making this video. I selfishly don’t want to use my husbands sperm and an egg donor. He wants that. I’m so torn up about it! You’re so right… it’s hard to talk to anyone that doesn’t truly get it.

Thanks for sharing the story, it's really inspiring.

Thank you so much for sharing your story 🤗💕

You are absolutely lovely. Matilda is a very fortunate child to have been made by you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. Wish you and your family all the best

Thank you for your bravery and honesty to share your story. It is helping me to go through the emotions of starting this journey. It is wonderful to know and see the loving bond you have between you and your child. Thank you.

Thank you so much for making this video. You gave voice to my many fears and insecurities. As loving and supportive as my husband is, I agree that there is a fundamental difference in his relationship to the baby, so it's hard for me to feel that he truly understands. Your words have been so helpful. Thank you.

thank you for reassurance.im 30weeks pregnant atm(we used donor eggs) and share some of those fears etc

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s a lovely story 💕

I truly appreciate you! I'm 41 and almost 38 weeks with my IVF Donor egg baby. And I'm scared that I won't have that bond and to see you express the bond you felt after delivering her really helps me. I'm also having a girl and looking forward to meeting her. Sincerely Thank You!

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Thank you! I’m going for Donor IVF I have POF🤞🏼.Congratulations!

Thank you for sharing your story! If you don't mind sharing, exactly how are you telling her you aren't her biological mother?

Thank you for an amazing video 🥰I am currently 9weeks with DE. I am having the same feelings like you had. I am worrying the most about how they will feel about me when growing older. I am afraid;they will tell me “ you are not my real mom” when we arguing. Have a nice day, happy new year:) ❤️

Such a brave and honest mindset to have. You gave life to Matilda, are with her every step of the way and you are each other’s everything. You can see that you both have an incredible bond, she adores you and you adore her ❤️