It takes a real man to come on this show!

Dave. I can say I have been a masculine man, by my measures, all my 37 year marriage. I can fix anything, done sports... It was absolutely useless for my relationships. A real man is true, sincere, and full of integrity. It has nothing to do with what you can do but with where your heart is. I wish I had been a real man!

Dave - look up Promisekeeprs writeup by Rollo Tomassi.

It is incredible and absolutely amazing how each time I have been on with you two, you get right to the issue of my recovery. Your teaming is so skillful. Over the past two years you to have been gracious to let me come on and quickly get right to the heart of the issue. Each time has been a development for me and this time when you had me face "value" and "worth" you got to my soul. I am incredibly grateful. Bob

I love this! Thank you! I've listened to him before and he's really helped me to think differently.

I love that outlook Bridgette ❤

Thanks for all y’all do. My wife and I listen to these together. We can see haw far we have come, but still have so far to go. Love you guys.

🎉 Hello Therapy Brothers! I just heard your podcast number 384 and I came over here to subscribe! I’ve been following you guys for a while and listening to you guys has helped me through a lot including my wife. Although a lot of topics are triggering to my wife because of my horrible past behaviors, however it is the truth. Truth can be good, bad, and ugly, but it’s the truth and it serves as a foundation for a successful recovery. I greatly appreciate all the resources that you guys provide, and I pray that this explodes to something even bigger! Brannon, I hope you pick my name for that one on one! 🤞🏽🎉

Looking forward to this new integrative way of healing in my relationship.

❤

What race was he ???

Gods work you two, great job! Nice to see a TEAM or tribe helping someone in need, with no agenda! God bless you mam! You can do this! Do it because you are worth it! Praying sir you! #gamechangingbrothers

Wow, I felt heard through Nicole. Every time I try to improve myself, the husband escalates chaos until I’m back defeated and back at square one. Praying for peace and freedom and courage

Nicole's story.... nearly identical to mine. And ironically, I'm in the exact same spot. 16+years of being a stay at home mom to my 4 kids. I'm terrified and I'm tired. Thank you for sharing this story!!

Thank you for this video, mindset is the most important aspect of recovery. I showed this to clients at the treatment facility I work at.

No. It won’t work without intimacy.

A woman needs to fulfill the man's basic needs. If she won't, leave her!!

Caller needs to fix himself (unattractive "nice" guy) before worrying about fixing his roommate. Best advice would be to run fast before he finds out what she's been up to over the last three years!

Answer-NO!

Sounds like a good method for ladies to cheat Ehh maby?

This is how americans went from intelligent to what it is today. Nobody has any idea what is what and what is not. Each one just has to make up their own path as they go along. And may act bizarre for no apparent resson. Its become an unknown disease.

My wayward spouse drives me nuts, with explanations of why he is doing something. I don't want him jumping through hoops, but it is worse when they explain everything. When you point out everything and keep saying this is my intention.

He needs to make strong boundaries for himself. 1. Watching nothing s3xual in nature. 1.a. if I do tell my wife within 24 hrs. And the full truth. 2. Having S3x with my wife and only with her. 2.a. if I do anything without her being aware of it, tell her within 24 hrs. Neither of these have loop holes. This also starts you with an honest role.

Brandon needs to learn compassion for the betrayed spouse.

Tyler appears to be the expert, as he was there, fought the war, is the warrior. Brandon apparently is a book learned therapist.

How many years does it take from d day till they become a husband, not an insecure needy addict?

Visualise your end goals essentially

Infidelity would be a deal breaker for me... If you dont love me enough to be loyal, then ask for a divorce... Dont be a coward. You lie and cheat, its over... Becauae once you cheat, you already decided its over.

BS

Facts. Same with parents and kids. Never okay

Oh man, I resonate with her. Codependency=no boundaries=pouring into others and neglecting yourself. I blew up an 18 year marriage and it felt like I was driving a car with my family and it crashed and it was my fault that everyone got hurt and at times I hurt so much that I didn’t want to live. Through time I learned about codependency and complex trauma and was able to heal and yes we’re all walking around with scars, but we are resilient and stronger. Sending ❤

Thank you for addressing this question. So she should distance herself from him? For how long? Anything else she can do?

Another female apologist, defending men and blaming women, call it what you want using any excuse or lie you three need to yell yourself to ignore the amount of damage that perverted dishonest men and women like you three use to keep from accepting responsibility for causing such destruction in other peoples lives. Not to mention it’s funny how the predator, not addicted but the predator can use excuses “ my mommy didn’t left me go to the store with her when I was 5 so I need to use women and lie to get away with what I know is wrong, boohoo poor me” but how dare the actual victim not be allowed to feel the same way with her deviant spouse. This show is a joke.

I would be considering that he wasn’t recording the sister in law breast feeding, but the possibility that he was filming the baby suckling on a woman’s breast. Seriously

You say to look for the full video, but can you make that a bit easier by putting that video number on your shorts? Please.

Is there a reason we have no idea what you are truly talking about? You give an answer, but nobody knows what the question is.

Can you please post what was said prior to your response. Without it, your answer is confusing.

This is your best episode yet! Beautifully done. Incredibly moving. Thank you for sharing!!

Firstly, Love how there’s never any mention about the reality of all the wives of these men who trick and deceive women because they don’t want to have any self control and no discipline when it comes to s*x, or being honest. If your so fake and so different from the man that got the approval before the wife finds out, then he’s got bigger fuc*ing problems than porn. Basically this means that porn was a allowing him to become such a great actor that every single thing about who these men are is all pretend, make believe. And if he’s completely a different person when the porn is removed to the point that he’s completely rejected to the point of divorce. If you can’t just be the man that you were, that was accepted , with the porn, then that’s the most psychotic thing I’ve herd of. Women beware. Secondly. This guy not getting to go see the family is a result of his choice to be unfaithful. Any resentment he feels is a clear indication that he has a sense of entitlement not only to his twisted belief that it was ok to lie to his wife about him being s*xually faithful, but it also shows his belief that he shouldn’t have to have any consequences for his actions. To feel resentment towards his wife after he created the circumstances that caused her to need a break from him instead of being masculine and accepting that he’s the reason his wife didn’t want him to go, and it’s not his wifes fault, clearly shows that he has no feelings of regret for what he’s done or the effects it’s had on his wife, but any thoughts he has are about what wants or what he had to sacrifice. Self centered, and immature, it’s obvious that he considers his wife property, and he will destroy her self esteem and lie to her, so he can have her and still have other women im even if it’s just in a screen. And lastly, he’s not a kid, stop using the beliefs that were based in the views and understanding from a child’s point of view. if he’s aware that it’s a wound from childhood, then to continue using the “but I was hurt as a child“ line as an excuse to repeatedly wound his wife in the present, then he’s using it as an excuse to continue doing something (porn) that he wants to do, but has to act like it he doesn’t want to do it because of wanting to avoid any change, or have to give up his entitlement to other women, at the cost of the mental health of his wife. The reason these so called pretend husbands never improve because others, mainly other men, simply won’t hold any of the men who end up destroying their family unit, accountable, but instead help feed the self pity and justification . There saying “ well you were told no you can’t eat ice cream for dinner by you mom one time when you were five , so of course it’s understandable to create enormous inner wounds and negativity effect the future and well being of those you vowed to honor and care for by using any excuse you can as a way to protect your self from feeling any guilt, making any real change, or giving up a behavior that they want to keep. So instead of making real changes, they put all their focus and effort into finding new excuses, new ways to continue the very thing that always have done. Pathetic.

It would be really nice to know what was said before you answered.

You have to be 100 percent transparent, honest about the affair, betrayal. Everything she asks, be rigorously honest.

It's all new to her also! She's been functioning for who knows how many years under his addictive behaviors and now he just wants her to stop what she knows and be okay with the changes. She's not even sure if he's genuine. Progress is great but it's sincerely being true/truthful that she's still questioning! Is he giving her honest proof for her to trust him with life decisions that he's been checked out of for so many years?!?! He needs so much more work at this point for her to risk leaning into his desires to lead. She also needs to be in consistent therapy for her to trust herself first. It's one of the big areas that many betrayed wives suffer from betrayal.

He's not thinking about, "Family" in his vacation planning. He's wanting to go play with his brother. He can go do that in a different time that's not infringing in his "FAMILY" vacation time. He also needs to completely own up with their therapist that he's dropped the ball on their family planning all these years and now he just wants her to stop and give the ball to him... This new dynamic of them "doing it together" is great but they're still gaining/building trust. It's going to take time with ownership honest work together. Everything he said was still selfish and insensitive to his betrayed wife. She's looking for the new man that cares more about her than himself. His "needs" come after her safety. She wants to see his desires are her safety. She's never going to give him the reigns again. She may choose to share them with him but it may be a long time before she lets him lead without her feeling 100% safe with him! If she's not safe with his family that's another reason she might not want to spend much time with them. Maybe family of origin work needs to be done also?

People attract what they judge, not “what they are”. If your saying “ I don’t want a man who watches porn” then that’s what your going to get in one form or another. The subconscious and your energy will drop the adverb, “dont” and will only acknowledge “ I want a man that watches porn”. Any time you add a “dont” in front of what you want, you will attract what you dont want. Instead say to yourself “ I want a man who is faithful to me in all ways” so remember adverbs do not add to the authority of your affirmation.

I appreciate you sharing your take on forgiveness, it’s really changed my point of view. ❤ Thank you

This is just what I needed right now. In our first year of recovery and it's so tough to navigate communication and building trust in both directions.

I love how this two "therapists" make the person who decided to cheat, lie, and justified their absence of integrity, some kind of victim instead of the abuser. I hear excuse after excuse for the person who traumatized another person, instead of holding the abuser accountable. and the real victim is the one told " what was your part, what do you need to work on? obviously if there was affair, the relationship wasn't going great anyways, so that means it's half your fault since your half of the couple, it takes two" kinda BS. to any partner that was betrayed, it wasn't your fault, I don't care how you acted, what you withheld, anything you said, if you gaind weight, were busy with kids, work, or other things that needed your attention, it's no excuse for someone to stay with you, and go fu*k around with someone else, to watch porn and lie about it, child hood wounds are no excuse for a grown a*s adult to be using as an excuse to inflict the same if not worse kind of trama on to someone else. truth is they are selfish, self-centered, have poor character, are liars, think only about what they want, entitled and superficial. any excuse these two therapist or anyone else gives you that treats you like your to blame too, that the cheater needs to be understood, and shown compassion, dosent know what they are talking about, and they will end up causing you more trauma, more damage, and more pain instead of helping.

I like it!

omg " well between aging, shopping apps and my wife almost dying, I decided to go back to cheating" are you serious? none of those things are the problem. the issues are , lack of self control, no impulse control, thinking its ok to use other people, thinking no one else's boundries matter, thinking it's ok to have a wife to fulfill domestic needs in replace mom, entitlement, lack of empathy, lack of respect of boundaries of other people, inability to tell the truth, and the inability to grow up or admit what's really wanted because of knowing it's childish, selfish, and would be looked down upon by society as not being a man. any man who acts like they feel bad for using women as disposable objects feels bad for getting caught, if they wanted to change, getting caught wouldn't be what trigger that all of a sudden, overnight, and miraculous drive to " be a better man and husband". if it was actually wanted then there would have been a change before hand. but instead the truth is, so called sex addicts want a wife that will put up with being mistreated, that will do all the things their mom did, while they run around with other women having "fun" and when she's served her purpose, then go back home to a clean house, kids that he sets a bad example for, dinner cooked and a mommy wife that's either expected to have some strangers seconds, or to never have any sexual needs herself and if she does is still expected to stay 100% faithful and loyal and go without because if she did the same thing he was doing, all hell would break loose and his fragile self centered and controlling ego just couldn't handle it. that's the truth. stop pandering to these men who do nothing but cause sever damage to the women they use like a substance, the wives they destroy, to their kids they set a bad example for, and to society as a whole. there spoiled children who pout and feel sorry for themselves with a self control problem and 0 empathy and even less integrity. their not addicts, their just entitled.

Making amends is for well-adjusted people