Good advice thank you

My fiance is going to be fighting with his ex soon to get parental to be with his kids. He tried to talk to his ex about me meeting the kids... That didn't go well. She googled me, asked him tons of questions about my family, and a person I was with in my past. Wanted to know who Chris was that showed up as someone that lives at my house. Wanted to know if he's her brother why does he have a different last name. It's been a mess. I've tried to be nice. I wrapped all their Christmas and birthday gifts and she did thank me for my attention to detail in wrapping her kids gifts I told her they were so welcome. At one point I messaged her and tried to keep her informed because she said I could... She told me enjoy your life and don't message me again me and the kids will have nothing to do with what you two do. 😞. It's a lot and I'm now not excited or even all that happy about meeting. It just sucks

Wow this is so good. Ty for this 😊

Parenting 3 young kids is AWFUL.

I'm not a parent, but was smacked on rare occasions as a child, I think I grew up ok and am well behaved in society I do find it dificult to think of a method that's more likely to immediately stop a bad behaviour than smacking, or threatening to smack. But I think the risks and side effects outweigh those positives -Do you need to escalate the severity as the child grows older? -Do you need the constant threat of a spanking to get the kids to behave? -What If I spank a child for something beyond their physical or emotional control? -What if I realise afterwards that they are innocent? I felt utterly rotten, scared and helpless when I was smacked, and it made me less likely to approach my parents if I’d got in trouble for something, even though they did a lot of other good parenting. why would I want to put another child through the same? Another coping mechanism was thinking that one day it would be me doing the spanking - and I was going to be quite mean about it too! was quite an eye opener when I realised that one!

My fiancé only communicates via email with his X for the kids sake but his son is 21 now and daughter is 14 he has no intention of me & his X ever meeting….. I don’t think you need to always involve the X with the new partner

I'm the new partner and I'm a bit anxious. I was a single child and I've never really experienced a "family" setting. My own family is quite dispersed. I've been dating a man for 2 years now on and off. He's had 2 relationships prior. One relationship he moved his new partner in after 6 months thinking that was enough time before introducing his children, but the mother of his kids threw a few sticks in the fire and the girlfriend left after 3 months. The mother is clinging tightly to the appearance of a family and friends etc and they do have a big circle of family and I would be viewed as the alienator and foreign intruder. If I became involved with his kids I can pretty much expect manipulation tactics from the mother, but our situation is different because from the beginning I've chosen to retain a separate place a few states away. My partner is a truck driver so we've maintained our relationship in secret after him revealing he didn't want to work things out, brought a huge onslaught his way. I had witnessed some of it. He is about to bring his 13 year old on the truck with him and he has 2 other kids 12, twins. I had never pushed for introduction as to not stir up more chaos and trauma for anyone. I've resolved to staying away while he has his child with him because we never discussed the introduction before and I didn't want to pressure for it. I'm just educating myself on my own behalf about possible scenarios. I'm not sure if the mother is aware that I am still in the picture or if she thinks she's succeeded on driving yet another woman away. I love him and I would also love his kids so I'm a bit torn about wanting to meet them soon or rather keeping the relationship as it is and waiting until they are 18. I've never had kids, but I've worked in the school system before so I've always enjoyed kids and I think it's great when they are older and can communicate their needs. My partner is a really bad communicator due to prior childhood trauma, from physical abuse to sexual abuse in the family and drug usage by his father who has passed away. The entire "family " situation just cries disfunction to me which is another reason I don't wish to be involved. I'm kind of wondering if introducing me now would also be awkward because I've been around 2 years and how to explain that dad's had an affair this long etc. When we first met he was so excited to tell them about me, but that was hindered by his family and rightfully so...what if I didn't stick around. I'm fighting multiple battles as far as being compared to past negative experiences that it's turned this experience rather negative. Hopefully it will still become something positive in the future and it's not to much a conflict on my behalf or side because I'm quite flexible with my relationship needs or expectations, so I leave that all in his hands which it should be anyways, because it's his kids and his responsibilities and that of his family and the mother of his kids. Thanks for all the insight in this podcast. I'll continue to mentally prepare for the what ifs and I am also aware that my behavior stems from my own childhood trauma. Hypervigilance and meeting my own needs because I was not nurtured or cared for properly. Last thing I would want is to add or repeat trauma, but it just may come with the territory of having children.

Hey, conservative Karens. How about you try teaching your children AWARENESS of their emotions and how to deal with them instead of BEATING it out of them?

Definitelly

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖔𝖘𝖒

Thank you for all that you have done and are continuing to contribute to my son and grandchildren. I’m truly grateful!

Excellent, thank you.

Hii everyone. Am Sarah Dr Ncube spell is so accurate! I can't thank you enough Dr Ncube for helping me to bring back the father of my kids after several years of separation. Am really short of words..

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What do you think of hours spent on the iPad drawing digital art?

Yes its affective

Parents, can you relate?

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