my first time was with my mom

Correct

@@elsayayinespartano2411 ayooo

My first time was with my step sister

My interpretation is that grief is not always visible to others who are not experiencing it. "those things crawling under what they perceive" is the emotional turmoil of loss that is so biting and real "fangs and they chew in the tide alone" but to everyone else, you may be outwardly fine. And it is a lonely feeling. To me, this is a song about being strong in the face of grief, because it's what your loved one would've wanted. We may put on a strong front, but the pain, the biting, gnawing pain of loss and death and grief is often hidden under the surface, "under what they perceive". Beautiful poetry indeed. Hope this helped!

This line is definitely setting the tone for the whole song. The intention of the song is to communicate that he isn’t okay, but he’ll try to be. Like faking it until you make it, the first step is to acknowledge that something is deeply wrong in your life. So, this is an acknowledgment, and it’s an attempt to make the listener understand where he’s starting from, too. Not just him, but all of us, have things that eat away at who we usually are, or who we want to be. So, when he introduces the source of his woes, the woman he’d cared so much for who was lost from his life, it makes more sense when he says his gut’s telling him that she’d rather see him walking strong than be laid low, but the hole her absence creates in his life isn’t something he feels like he can overcome. He tried to say goodbye, but he wasn’t being honest when he said he was ready to move on. He acknowledges that being as young as he is, and as young as she was, just SAYING goodbye is meaningless. There’s action involved, but what can one do? What action can you take to remove a hole from your life? It’s already a piece of you that’s missing. The chorus is probably my favourite part. It’s a beautiful summary of the things he’s trying to work through. “I’ve been trying to work it out; I’ve gotta get away from the sights and sounds, and keep it on the ground (probably his feet; so he can keep his head out of the clouds, where he can’t get away from her memory…). I don’t want to be, but I’ll just carry on, and smile on through it. Death is true, and I’ll be missing you.” Is he saying he doesn’t want to be happy, or that he simply doesn’t want to BE, anymore? Nobody WANTS to be sad, but he’s definitely feeling desperate for relief. The context that suggests he’s feeling suicidal is probably the most provocative, because he knows he doesn’t want to live his life anymore but has resolved to anyway, by carrying on and smiling as much as possible. As for the exact phrasing of the first portion, it suggests issues that are deeper below the surface than a stranger might notice, or even an acquaintance. When you’re trying to function in society, you put on airs and there has to be strength there, confidence, or people can’t get along with you. The next part is kind of interesting. He uses visual imagery to try and impress a specific kind of pain. It’s not like an insistent gnawing, or crushing, constant pressure that’s causing the pain. It’s a sharp fang; it pierces deep, and it tears as it comes out. Chewing in the tide alone is probably suggesting that the object these fangs are chewing is your life itself; the tides of fate. Seeing as this source of pain is alone, there’s nothing there to stop it. So, depending on how bad it is, you might be okay, but if you aren’t then what’s there to actually stop it? Nothing.