I was, and still am, a very sensitive person. I related to a lot of what you said. Especially about crying at work and wanting to be able to show more confidence

You can tell he has adhd and her having autism, its beautiful they harmonize.

Ich hatte gerade einen "Aha"-Moment. In Indonesien wird mein Verhalten so oft mit "ach du bist doch schon sehr deutsch geworden" (Oder so ähnlich, natürlich auf Indonesisch) kommentiert, aber ich war in allen angesprochenen Punkten schon seit meiner Kindheit vor dem Umzug so.

I know this is an old video, but doctor k doesn't do therapy with these people. These are supposed to be conversations so even if he knew about the Autism he would not tell the caller about it. It might not be that he is oblivious to the autism, but that it would cross a line to where this would no longer just be a guiding conversation but straight up therapy. It's nice to hear your perspective, but it seems like you misunderstand the purpose of these conversations, and what they are supposed to be.

btw its not like dr k. is necessarily NT, seeing as what some comments seem to believe, from his adhd videos it gives off the vibe that he's talking about his own personal experiences.

I know you have hundreds of hours into this, but this wig looks pretty good. You might want to consider your "wig" being your brand and wear a dozen totally different looks. Have fun with it!

Enjoyed your original videos and now just vegging out on some of your more recent non-autistic topics. After your early ones, you seem like an old friend. One suggestion, I use closed captions (do aspies have a hard time hearing syllable differentiations?) and I'm not a fast reader, so if you add comments on the screen, please leave them up there at least 3x longer than you do and put them in the upper right so they aren't blocked by other screen junk. When you pause KZbin they cover the bottom third of the screen. Thanks for all you have been to us!

But the real question is. Is she right?

Rand might have had some of the traits of an aspy, but she was no aspy.

32:13 Philosophy is NOT the science that studies the basic nature of existence. That would by physics, not philosophy.

Rand didn't give up on humanity, she gave up on people.

Ayn Rand doesn't sound autistic in that letter, she sounds Jewish.

As an autistic person, there is no such thing as 'high-functioning' or 'low-functioning' autism. Those terms, while I get what you mean, are misleading, because as someone with level 1 autism according to my DSM diagnosis, there some specific moments and situations where I can't function well at all, and calling it high-functioning makes it sound like we don't really struggle. It's kind of invalidating. Jumping to conclusion with diagnoses and making so many assumptions can also be risky. People who have experienced trauma can also present with neurodivergent traits, so you can't assume that everyone presenting differently is neurodivergent. That's why we have specialists to diagnose these things (not Dr K, he isn't an autism specialist) who carry out what's known as a differential diagnosis to find the most likely root cause before using labels. The term Asperger's also doesn't exist anymore (unless you're diagnosing with the ICD - it's ASD to honour the fact that everyone autistic can present uniquely and still be autistic. It would be innappropriate for Dr K to try and diagnose someone with anything in a short public call - diagnoses for autism are complex and long for a reason.

it's crazy to me how real the double empathy problem is. even people i'd sort of expect to try to understand end up saying things like, "you really dropped the ball!" i've heard similar things from my family during my burnout, and that stuff *hurts*. i mean, you try to explain what you're going through in specific terms to people who should care & they just... don't, no matter how many times you try to explain.

I don't know if Objectivism could be attractive to some autistic person but the point is Objectivism is not autism friendly. Many studies are showing that a significantly higher number of autistic persons compared to neurotypicals are unemployed or under employed and, as a result, need Welfare benefits. What would happen to them if Ayn Rand ideas became widespread? Moreover, I think it's insulting to those on the spectrum to suggest that they are more egoist than the general population. Being less able to communicate empathy doesn't mean they have less empathy. Objectivism is more a philosophy appealing to sociopaths. Unfortunately, sociopaths are also more common than autistic people in the upper class and more money driven, which is more in line with Rand philosophy.

Uh.. so? After 10 min of listening to this , no word or tip or help or hint as to how to date people with A. ...

The question isn't does my happiness matter, it's does my happiness "objectively" matter more than other people?

You are genetically adapted to flee famine, it is an evolutionary response to perceived famine and need to migrate, so it makes you feel virtuous and strong for moving and ignoring hunger pangs, and guilt for eating which feels guilty and shameful so that you will keep migrating and allow your children to eat on the journey instead of you when you find scraps (hence anorexics love cooking for other people or watching others eat) but not getting distracted by foraging because if you do you won't migrate fast enough to reach abundant land. It also happens in mice and pigs who lose weight but more easily in female than male mice and more easily in their adolescence, just like in humans. Ths proves that the social cultural theories are wrong, it is a survival instinct that makes you terrified of stopping to eat while migrating by making you feel greedy and guilty for self-indulgence. Some people with anorexia, but not all, associate greed with getting fat, which is why some anorexics say they hate the idea of getting fat, it simply represents their REAL aversion, which is of feeling greedy. The process is triggered by any weight loss of any cause, which triggers this famine response. It is a migration "keep moving and feel guilty for eating so the tribe can reach new land before your children starve" gene, which in humans only a minority of people have, whereas most mice have it. Most humans do not have the same physiological response to starvation that anorexics have, because most humans have instead "wait for the famine here to pass" genetic variants that makes their brain send "rest and eat whatever you find without any guilt" signals. The migration gene members of the tribe, being a minority, probably helped push the rest of the tribe to finally migrate, and boosted morale with their physiologically unique response to starvation (that includes heightened energy and delusional optimism about how not-starving you are, not being able to see the emaciation and so not despairing) whenever famine did not pass quickly enough.

I cry at work. I cannot handle the overhead light- i feel out of control after work- I sometimes hit my head and I can’t stop moving

Isn't everyone like this? They just hide it better

I've had the same thought about "Karens". Some of them are clearly entitled, though.

Thanks for the video on this fascinating topic that affects everyone.

Being autistic and being happy wow, the way that you said that. was absolutely perfect. yes I agree a million percent and that's why they dislike her because when you're happy and you do things for yourself and for others out of your own choice people think you're an a****** no matter what always an a****** No matter how kind you are supportive you are or understanding you are no matter how helpful you are no matter what you do. the moment you put a boundary up or say no. people think you're an a******. but you're always saying your boundaries. just when they want to cross it, they think you're an a******. I will never sacrifice myself for others but I will always choose to sacrifice a little bit of myself to assist and help with those around me and thoseI love I have a Vast sea of ability within me so giving a Little 2 others is still giving a lot. But I only give that piece of myself away willingly and so I have no reason to give that away either. But I have to be given a reason otherwise I give fully of myself in that space to them. But people don't like when you tell them that you don't want to or you don't think you're going to do that or when you say that's gonna be somebody else doing that or whatever it is doesn't matter when you tell them something other than what they want to hear they think you're an a****** because they want to violate that boundary and you're not alive in them.... Life Anyhow that was a really great quote sorry I rambled on as you can tell I'm on the spectrum too I hope you have a great day thank you so much for making this video

im 20 yrs old and not diagnosed with autism but i relate so much to this experience and it overwhelms me so much especially in my relationship where the other person is confused as to why i react a certain way to something that is not super significant for most people/something most would brush of, yet i cant even explain it myself. and i feel like i cant even physically speak to explain myself and it becomes more overwhelming. it manifests for me as both crying easily and getting extremely angry easily and both are so overwhelming and hard to deal with. its such a huge struggle everyday and like you said i keep beating myself up about it bc i understand the social repercussions of it… i just wish i knew what exactly causes it or some way to manage or control it :/ this video was very comforting to me thank you

I've watched body cam videos of men getting caught impersonating police officers and firefighters. Please, be careful out there on dating sites.

This is amazing what a great vid idea. 🤗🤗🤗

Maybe it's a stupid question, but could it be that extremely religious persons have a lifelong limerence with Jesus? The pedestal, the fantasies about the happy ever after, not being able to live without, not allowing to skip church for even once a year, etc. Or is it just me connecting these dots (???)

Great video! Keep up the content creation!

Horrible. It’s horrible. The end

I had that impression, that she is on the spectrum...

Ghosting is still devastating, I strongly suspect, it is one of the main reasons, why there are several times more suicides among men, then among women. So, please, if your former partner is not a violent asshole, do TELL him DIRECTLY and CLEARLY that this is it! To this day (it was almost 25 years ago) I'm grateful to my first girlfriend, for opportunity to meet and to talk, I'd never would imagine, that hearing "I just don't love you" will be the best thing I will ever hear in my life, since before that I was blaming myself, I was horrified, that I might have hurt her feelings somehow. Of course I could not stay together with a person, who doesn't love me, could not force myself onto her, I wanted her to be happy, obviously, not with me, but someone else (and she did find the right person mere couple months later, while I was recovering for almost 3 years). It was still hard, I cried pretty much daily for a year or more, but at least it was bearable, so I recovered... for the most part, I was not the same after that. Now, decades later, it turns out I got ADHD and likely ASD too, so I take everything very literally. Yes there were clear hints, that she does not intend that relationship to last, as she was a very nice peoples person and meant no harm, but, of course, I missed them all and only realised, what she really meant only after we parted. And I guess, this is what makes me safe - I will not get angry and upset with you, when refused, I might get angry at myself for being a failure, maybe some slight self harm with no lasting consequences (like banging my head or fist against a wall a couple of times), but one of my absolute core beliefs is "you can not force one to love you", just being with a person is not what I crave for, I want her to want to be with me, I want to be accepted, to be admitted to be worthy of lifetime companionship, to be loved, not tolerated. Funny, but 20 years after that parting, had a little message exchange with her, and she literally wrote "you were in love with some imaginary, idealised image, not the real me, and that felt like a burden, I never felt comfortable" (pardon, English is only my 3rd language, thus phrasing might be a bit off). Well, no shit, the most normal person I've ever known felt weird next to neurodivergent me! 😆 Sure, I did not know it back then, as I got diagnosed only at age 46. I also met the right person for me, seems we both have neurodivergent ancestors at least two generations into past, maybe more; we've been together for over two decades so far.

I am unsure if I could identify an autistic person only from their speech patterns. It seems like certain autists don't have any trouble with verbal and non-verbal communication, but can still struggle with social communication and relationships. I propose that there are multiple independent causes for what is diagnosed as Autism Spectrum Disorder, because the diagnostic criteria can only be based on external observations. What if it isn't ASD that causes these speech patterns, but these speech patterns being the reason for an ASD diagnosis? Consider that some autistic people have alexithymia, a reduced ability to identify and process their own emotions, while others do not. Could it not be possible that alexithymia causes some autists to have a flat affect¹, which is the reason why they have trouble with social interactions and miscommunication? Personally speaking, that is exactly why I have to explicitly analyze vocal tone and body language, since I can't rely on my own feelings as a guide. This is also how alexithymia can lead someone to send the wrong message, if the recipient reads an emotional subtext that isn't there.

Great video; actually Reba McIntre’s song “she thinks his name was John” was about a woman dying from AIDS. This I knew the first time I ever heard this song as a child; it’s a very sad song but I don’t think she had Limerance for him haha.

I find it deeply ironic that Orion Kelly had talked about “Attacking a Perceived Threat due to Mind Blindness” on his podcast, just a couple of weeks before you posted your video!

Ayn Rands "philosophy" is closely related to Satanism, not autism. :-) Anton Lavey said that "Satanism is just Ayn Rands philosophy, with ceremony and ritual added" google it!

ASD 1 here... Seriously guys, the tag is really defining your life, if you need a psych such as Dr K to immediately lean towards Autism and ignore his training in differential diagnosis, you are the ones failing autistic people and giving free autistic diagnosis to anyone... Also , i ve only had horrible experiences with psychiatrists and psychologists, Dr K was a lifesaver

I read Atlas Shrugged before knowing what Objectivism was and before knowing that there was any element of 'controversy' surrounding Ayn Rand. I don't see her views or the wider libertarian ideas as being antithetical to empathy and social interactions. The economic side of the libertarian ideology stands up on principle, along with the closely connected "Austrian Economics" school of thought, because it is the best way to help people acheive financial success and access to any resources, while simultaenously bringing up/out people from poverty, desperation, and destitution. It eliminates the possibility of tyrannical warmongering, reduces the probabilty of depressions, and keeps currency ans economic cycles stable, not only stopping artificial inflation in its' tracks but inducing healthy deflation and price decreases. Within all of these things, charity and philantrophy is not only possible, but best able to thrive. The number of people who need charity is minimized while those who can provide it is increased. This is not an "ideal of a teenage mind", but the conclusion of rational deductions. It is opposed by 'public schools' or rather 'government schools', because it disproves all of the assumptions they rely on to maintain their illusion of authority. The entire philosophy behind libertarianism is the exact opposite of "my way or the highway". That would be any kind authoritarianism, and libertarianism/anarchy/voluntarism is an outright rejection of that notion. I guess that you can say that being "autistic" may be correlated with coming to this conclusion quicker, but that's only because those that are "autistic" tend to look for logical and rationally consistent concepts. It doesn't argue that the humans themselves should be 'irradicated', but the artificial system and positions that they hold should be dissolved as they create more issues and conflicts than they're supposedly created to fix/reduce. Appreciate the video and effort, but you are leading with a bunch of incorrect pressumptions.

However, given you did this video and the age of the individual, they might be able to get their school records and family to help pay for a neuro psychologist if they are struggling with autistic burnout. Burnout is brutal.

You are probably correct. Dr. K is not a neuro psychologist. In my experience of autism diagnosis by neuro psychological testing that was a three month process in order to get the service and support help after the death of supports and a parent. It is my understanding after the age of 18, self autism diagnosis, a primary care, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist or neurologist can do a brief assessment but it is neuro psychology after 18 for the concrete autism diagnosis. Those are extremely hard to find and expensive. In my case a surviving parent interviewing plus helping cover the costs and school records were necessary at the age of 52 to cover a diagnosis that involved developmental delay disadvantages before the age of 18.

I find this accurate. Neurotypicals tend to experience limerence after a relationship. With us, I feel as though even before we pluck up the courage to ask them out, we created a reality show with 12 seasons, multiple breakups and a divorce in our head involving that limerent object already. Good news is, it usually means, we don't necessarily have to cut them off. Just get to know them better. No?

Nobody reads Atlas Shrugged and says "This is my Philosophy". She has non fiction books that break down her entire philosophical system and goes in depth about all the concepts for people to evaluate and then decide wether to adopt the principles or not. Your misunderstanding of egoism is apparent and therefore leads you to all the wrong conclusions about the philosophy, I would suggest you read her nonfiction before you make these types of criticisms because you just kept defaulting into "people with autism..." to demosntrate why she's wrong but you haven't provided any justification as to why she's wrong. I'd love to hear something like, "Reason is mans basic tool of survival is wrong because....", "Egoism as the standard for morality is wrong because..." "Laissez faire capitalism is wrong because....". I've also read all your comments in the comment section which further shows how dishonest this video is. "You would think that her supporters would be the wisest men, whose deep understanding can help guide people to better their lives. Instead, most Ayn Rand supporters obsess about how taxation is theft and most current societal institutions are rotten, and they criticize without coming up with comprehensive solutions how to fix issues. And if they do come up with solutions, sometimes it's really creepy stuff, designed to elevate/suppress people based on IQ, for example. But then, I haven't read all of Ayn Rand's books, nor do I know every aspect of objectivism, so I could definitely be missing something, and you are making good points there." There are actual objectivist scholars that have changed the lives of many people, not every objectivist is an intellectual and you don't need to be one to adopt its principles. Objectivism is a philosophy for living on earth and making the most out of your life by adopting principles to help guide your own choices and actions. The political philosophy of a nation doesn't change through policy, it changes through individuals adopting better ideas. Unless people want to move toward the ideal of capitalism, people will continue to contradict it and move away from it, but the solution will always be more capitalism, but we can't have a discussion about dismantling the regulatory state for example if 99% of people want one. A quote from Rand that best illustrate this point is "I am not primarily an advocate of capitalism, but of egoism; I am not primarily an advocate of egoism, but of reason. If one recognizes the supremacy of reason and applies it consistently, all the rest follows.” meaning, you don't start with capitalism and work backwards. Your comment on surpressing people based on IQ is just blatantly wrong and I'd like an example. You make these claims and then say "I haven't read her books so I can be wrong." so why make a 45 minute video about an entire integrated philosophical system and claim that it's autistic when you haven't really read anything or know anything about it?

Hey! Been watching you for ten years haha. Coffee like ruined my life! Got addicted to coffee shop experience and the coffee made me always stressed and not nice to people. A 15 year addiction. Helped with focus but then dropped my mood and made me only do things with coffee and be useless without. Ended up missing vacations and family events as a result.

I would love to chat with this women. But hey I am a 71 year old Autistic. Oh well.

Very good and so real. Know this 'topic' rather than well. Yearning to belong.

Really appreciate her warm honesty. And I know what those tears that fall feel like for us Autistic souls.

So, not only is a lot of the video missing, which adds a lot of key context, but the same things that evidence themselves when someone is burnt out, can look like traits you identify as ones you may see in someone with ASD, ADHD, PTSD, cPTSD, personality disorders, depression, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, addiction, etc on and on. Dr. K doesn’t diagnose people in his videos, and I can’t imagine anyone being able to diagnose this guy with ASD over the phone within this phone call. The guy brought his own diagnoses with him, and Dr. K challenged A LOT of it, and he even says over and over and over that something else seems to be going on beyond fear, etc. And he is only “tough” on the caller in the same instances when he says there is a piece missing.. in fact, he says 1/2 the pieces of the puzzle are missing and says he can only guess at what is going on based on what caller is saying. You edited a lot of really important parts out.

I think you made some excellent points and spoke about things I have thought for sometime but have never heard anyone else talk about, thank you. I believe it was/is the same for me. When I first developed strong restriction habits it happened very quickly. I have heard many woman talk about how it was a gradual thing, start a diet, add a lil exorcise, then just keep doing less and more. It was not that way nor has it been anytime it has reoccurred. It is a sudden compulsion/obsession. I track my weight, write everything down in near research paper methods. I put in hours of research into food facts, nutrition information, challenging most nutritionally dense while lowest calories, watch hours of videos on healthy eating and anorexia documentaries/research papers. I found that when my special interest brought me to a point of having an ED then my brain also threw ED research right along with the healthy eating special interest. I am very much someone who applies trial/error, research and experimentation with all of my special interests. In this situation it did not work well for me and I still find myself returning to the special interest from time to time. I would also like to note that I appreciate you bringing attention to the authentic autistic girl possibly being the one who wants to engage in the interest and may find herself only fighting as a way of masking. Every time I find myself falling into this special interest, I feel that starving, challenging and “studying” is the right thing and only feel any shame in it at all because of the behaviors and reactions it causes in my loved ones. Thank you.

As to the Asperger's label being gone in the US: if you're on the spectrum, you're still subject to meltdowns, shutdowns and burnout. Others largely treat you the same, as you don't fit in. I've known various of those previously diagnosed with Asperger's that are more rigid than those with a different developmental pattern. As such, I see it as a distinction without it being a truly useful difference. I say this as someone that was unexpectedly diagnosed with that in 2002, but have an autistic older sister in a different place on the spectrum, having the more classic developmental pattern, but very verbal. There are many that conflate a lot of things that often go along with being autistic as being autistic itself. It doesn't matter where you are at on the spectrum, those other issues can determine more of your level of functioning than where you're at on the spectrum. For example, anxiety: so many people think this is just the nature of autism and autistic personalities. I have nothing resembling an anxiety disorder, I've frankly only relatively recently learned a out scripting and the crazy lengths many go to due to social anxiety. I've done a very minimal amount of scripting, only for the simplest of things, and largely to reduce my efforts in meaningless exchanges. I'm fortunate to not have a big problem with audio processing delays, but real conversations are way too complex to make sense to try to script for all the possible ways it'd go, so it never occurred to me to try, far too much effort, far too likely to screw things up. Talking to others, as it is, for those paying sufficient attention and are perceptive, knowing what they're looking at, I really can't fully mask even if I tried. I guess it's a good thing I've not gotten too bent out of shape about it ;) The situation I tend to be most concerned about masking is during job interviews.

I’m in the same boat but I’m a guy 22 years old I was 13 and 8 months old when I started and it was right before my 15th birthday that I was hospitalized for refeeding syndrome I really damaged my body severely it was so horrible I regret it so bad I basically ruined my life before I was healthy and happy just a little chubby but I think the cause was my abusive father and just myself trying to cope with the stress of trying to fit in having autism

Thankyou! Very good🌹👍