Great discussion. So are there any mentors out there as we get older? Once we hit 40s and 50s it seems to be so important to have groups and activities that keep us connected with other men. Is mentorship a unicorn? I wonder if we just learn from other men.

Still skating at 43 and I think it does keep me feeling connected to that 15 year old me that fell in love with it. Granted, the falls are the worst now and recovery sucks but it still makes me feel good.

Dope shirt!

Your podcast came in time! I had a large argument lately where I choose to tell everything that bothered me after other person began to nitpick my fck-ups from the past. After my wall of text i just got "you didnt value things i've done for you, bye forever" (he didnt do much to my life except being a "friend" who i was attached mentally to (and he wasnt attached back). We are both grown ass men lol

Stop this LGBT crap. You're projecting.

The way i depersonalize it, is reminding myself that their reaction to me is "not my task." And exactly like you say, it is their story! I'm so glad i found your page so i could hear your words. You always give me more perspective that i often pull from to add to my thought process 🙏 Thank you. Rejection definitely isn't the end of the world! If you dont tie your value to it, it is no longer your task to "fix" it. Keep on keepin' on, sir! I hope more people get to see your content.

Thanks for putting this into words. It really has been affecting me and I’ve been repeatedly cycling through my emotions and even getting upset for feeling so distraught over someone I can’t say I knew well, being unable to justify why I think of her. But I don’t need to, I’m just human. I was fortunate enough to at least tell her a bit about how I felt in person and that made the chest pain go away. I wish I would have just told her I still want her. And the wishing is what prolongs the pain. Still have to reconcile my actual reality with the one I wanted.

Very insightful video, thank you! ❤

💯💯💯 Thank you for sharing this

I love this. Allowing each other to be human. Flawed. To get things wrong. I ahd a partner dho had no tolerance for any failures. There was no way to come back, because you weren't allowed to make mistakes in the first place. It was tyrannical. A healthy relationship is one that shows these imperfections and yet the two people return to each other and can understand and forgive.

Is this really true for all married couples or is it possible you guys are just a really fiery couple? I’ve commented this before but you’re an Aries and a Taurus 😂 I know how that goes. Nonetheless obviously some people deal with passion better than others. I don’t want a marriage where we fight a lot, I would rather be alone.

As a Counselor-in-Training who has been deeply inspired by John, I am so thankful for this conversation. It takes guts and courage to continue to show up in this world after such devastation. Much love and respect for BOTH of you gentlemen.

I know you're the coach, but I can't imagine the trauma, and it will come in waves. I lost my home and everything in a fire in 2006. You've lost a community and have a family. It's ok to be not ok for a while. You and everyone affected are in my thoughts. Be gentle with yourself.

Maybe get " good enough" in a different language so not everyone would understand what it means lol

Hahahah! I say butthurt all the time. I think its a perfect way to describe a feeling

Thank you for sharing

❤❤❤❤❤ Sending prayers for you and California.❤

I really appreciate this, I have been greatly disappointed with my past two relationships. I just don’t understand why some men aren’t able to take some accountability. We need good men, real men that are willing to grow and show up for us. Take care of women, we are hurting and it isn’t easy managing everything on our own.

Hey folks. As some of you might know, John and his family lost their home in the LA fires. John has started a GoFundMe to support friends and families in Altadena and help with basic needs such as shelter, food, and clothing. If you called to donate, please do so here: ⁠ www.gofundme.com/f/basics-needed-for-friends-who-lost-their-homes-today⁠ - Shaun

I'm praying for you guys. 😢 🙏

I love this, thank you! ❤ I just finished Single on Purpose and the workbook. They both helped me a lot going through a breakup and also realizing, how a healthy relationship looks like.

Divorce BEFORE exploring new relationships is a PLUS. 🙃

It’s so much more interesting listening to guys talk than girls. 😁

When an EMP hits its lights out and NO electricity, I can imagine it now. 📵😬

John how do I contact you directly? Pls.

Thanks for sharing

I love this

I am new to your channel ❤ I bought John Kim's book "single on purpose" and found your channel from there. Thank you for your awesome contents 😍 It's so informative and comforting. ❤

Thank you for sharing. Good to see this from a males prospective.

Thanks for this video John! Sometimes we lose the path in our journey and you just reminded us of that!

Brother, maybe i just dont agree with you guys relationship wise. But finidng other peiple attractive and exspressing it openly is a strange thing. And celbrities are people too, me and my gf never joke about cheating, thats weird and wrong to say "id give u a pass if" that honwstly puts you in the cuckold seat. You both dont seem very relationship bound. Also fantasizing about other people is so weird, i would never want to imagine myself with someone else. My gf made all other girls unnatractive and not equal in my eyes, thats just weird. Thinking about another man while having sex is so fucking weird

I chuckle every time one of you asks things like ‘why are you so frugal’ guys have your natal charts done by a master astrologer

If you want a relationship I think even in friendships you either choose to compromise and royal especially if you said you are into him coming to visit firstly before he came to visit.

My first thought was that as a young woman, when i have sough help in my life i've rarely met someone to encourage self-healing and healthy habits like this. Everything i hear is, oh, you're perfect as you are. It's not you. it's him. It makes me very sad to see this. Instead of helping our peers to grow and level up. It's more bullshit cosigning that keeps us stagnant and unhealthy and unhealed. Thanks for sharing. Love these thinking points.

👏

Your influence is stronger than your control. Your control only destroys even under positive intent. Your influence can destroy or create. Gain control over... your awareness of your influence as a tool. You control the integrity and path of your influence. You control the persistence and resilience of your influence. You can limit a lion by putting it in a cage to control it, but what the lion will do for you is very limited and it will have a desire to destroy you back and control you with it's claws. Raise a lion from a cub by training (influence based on having an emotional relationship of give and take and patience) and you can ask it to do very risky things like jump through fire or let you rub it's belly. It's only because you've earned their respect by influence that will happen without controlling and destroying you. And raising a lion means taking it seriously they have equal if not more power to control and destroy you. That's why it's so amazing when an animal like that chooses to give up their control in favor of influence. Everything wants influence even animals. A relationship is influence not control.

”You have more time than a woman does”. It’s not that clear cut. Some women have frozen their eggs.

Na I don’t think so

So helpful, for men and women alike . Thank you !

Gems ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for sharing your wisdom and presence with us

Yo😊

I believe physical attraction is important for building a romantic relationship, but it’s not the whole story. For me, there needs to be a balance-someone I find physically appealing in their own way and who aligns with my values and standards. A deep connection goes beyond looks, but without any physical attraction, I don’t think the relationship would feel truly fulfilling. It’s about finding both eye candy and soul food in a way that resonates with you personally.

Look at it through this POV: If the person threatens you with an ultimatum like that, is it really worth it?

Wait... What?!?!? So there was infidelity, and you (betrayed) aren't supposed to bring it up, and just be expected to do a "clean slate"?!?! OMG, are you joking???

Why does everyone do the sexy thing first? Seems like a bad idea on a logic basis.. On a biological basis, I totally get that

Thank you 🙏♥️😇

I hate sarcasm so much.

Such great information

Check out The Aster for rooftop.

LA is just the biggest small town in the country 💗