Not having a Father breaks a boy in a way that leaves a big empty void that can never truly be filled. We go through life with a sense of emptiness that's always there, subtly, in the background. I often try to turn to religion and spirituality in hopes of healing the Father wound, because of "our Father in heaven." Sometimes this helps, other times I just feel more confused...

This is so powerful and resonates so much.Thank you

I want to leave this here if this is ok. For me it was hard to balance how my Mom wanted to be the "fair and equal" well rounded person that watches over me... yet I always felt like she was trying to be competitive with me... it didn't feel ok because why would someone with that age difference be roaming consequence free if she contended with a 1 yr old on... to me it doesn't make sense to me the groundwork should be there in some way in somehow for me to be a good sport to some degree... if I am just needy and dependent on someone like that. To me I wonder if it should be criminal or exposed to people. It seemed to me that she couldn't win any battles in her life so she competed against her child and in her own mind and ways won tremendously and to me I think she punched below the belt 24/7 until I crawled away for my life with what was left at an astounding age 29 and soceity always makes it worse besides people like you and IT IS RARE to run into people like you and Ross ect. Mostly you get people who could be well intentioned but end up taking the pitch fork that your parents put in you and driving the wound around vulnerable organs which is your peace of mind in a metaphorical sense. And I wonder if they know what they are doing the whole world seems to be full of dead ends and deserts looking like it's something but really it's not. I heard from someone that we are not as rational (human beings) as we think we have other things going on in the background like disgust... so I think that's why everyone tends to go to the prim and propper looking rather than the nitty gritty they torture those who want more than prim and propper and blame the victim to me THAT is disgusting yet they will never fully understand it seems. You get punished for telling the Truth I often find that typing things in a google search bar I give up hope because I realize I'm running into a dead end( no great search results all Pharm companies trying to milk me) and just my question has more value than hoping to use the internet for answers. I honestly wonder if people who hate you will track where you go on the internet and use the comments as inner hate fuel to then punish others in the world... or even you if they could ( who knows the extent of the power of "the enemy") I wonder about if the world is turning into idoicracy story a lot of familys bread monsters let's be honest. How do we as a people go against the eroding of values all that is going to be left is teenage violence sports fans thug culture entitled snooty people AI worship... and what will cease or be in danger of being extinct is somewhat wholesome people who love to seek beautiful parts of what life has to offer... nature road trips. 34:00 in I realized after always chasing after women in the past I came up with this along the way 1. It's not worth chasing women because what if they only want you for your money or social any other benefit to me it is an unreliable way that should be avoided if you can't handle relationships and the sad truth is barely ANYBODY knows how to truly have relationships at least not in this lifetime so redirect accordingly to me it seems like people are disoriented by the demands of what society deems "what should be" and don't ever get to the core issue is we are not ready on all fronts. I mean WHAT A MESS we are born into NO WONDER it turns out the way it always does... divorce cheating in some cases MURDER or using kids against each other using finances against each other. The world needs to take accountability on the mess that is truly there where if your not ready to date DON'T DATE and work on yourself. To me some people turn to drugs for answers or a number of any other things even assisted suicide the same could be said about women... don't count on it as a means to an end... end: you will find your total life purpose in that... you could talk for a lifetime about this right here... who knows if you will find total fufillment in a relationship with your opposite side... to me life has many things to seek after MANY. How you effect the world to me is paramount. Why doesn't the world start THERE not rushing into relationships...? 46:00 in I had the same experience my Mom would scream at me out of NOWHERE but it wouldn't connect in my mind I would just walk outside the street wondering and feeling ashamed that I wasn't good enough and I'll disappoint everyone that I would have to answer to in my own mind. No one came to say.. don't worry you didn't do anything wrong it's her all the way... only people who want to take advantage of me will use it against me... it's almost on their "use this against him" list it is absurd.

There are twelve step men’s meetings where men can deal with their childhood trauma. These meetings worked well for me.

Good video. I'm still learning about this all. Dr Elaine Aron and Dr Ted Zeff have helped me a lot. It's explained a lot about how my life has gone and also about how other people who didn't recognize it mislabeled it, some well meaning, some not. I went to a conference in March 2020 the weekend of the covid shutdown and it was a grand time. I pray for the young men in the middle schools and high schools, and for their teachers. People need to know about this. KJK

I love yall, thank you!!

I always wondered why...i was being the stupid "Nice Guy".

Rick Belden never disappoints. He’s a brilliant poet and authority on men’s work. But it isn’t just for men is it? That poem at the end made me cry. I cry a lot but his work always touches me like no one else. I sometimes think expecting things from other people just leads to disappointment so don’t expect anything at all. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Watching from Tulsa Oklahoma, and learning.

Great!

Very important topic, especially for those males raised under a single mother such as myself. Thanks for the upload.

My mom left my dad for my baseball coach when I was 11 years old. I didn’t see my mom for over 6 months. In the meantime my dad quickly attached to another women and she moved in with her kids in less than the year my mom left. My dad turned on myself and my sister and favoured his new wife and kids. I am now 51 and have processed so much inner child work that has led me to see the immature parents that raised me and my sister. Thank god for men’s groups and psychedelic medicine that immensely helped me raise my inner boy with compassion and loving awareness. Healing takes patience and a loving safe environment for the wounds I have experienced. I am a survivor!! I thank my inner child everyday for the protection he provided for me to survive.

What you stated at -16:31 is exactly what my relationship with my dad was. It’s sucks because his funeral was last weekend and I hadn’t spoken to him in almost 2 years (also a 3 year break in my mid twenties). I had nothing left to give him in the end and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change that within myself. I respectfully went to the funeral and did not shed a tear there was nothing left. I guess I eventually realized that overtime I lost respect him because he was incapable of respecting me. The good parts of my did lives within me. Our relationship in totality was bitter, but I accept it and am incredibly grateful to have even been given a father.

Thank you for having me once again, Rick!

Hi Rick! I'll definitely check out his book. Anything on how intergenerational this problem can be, or do I just need to watch all the way through?

This was a great conversation. Rick has a lot of important insights and experiences to share. Men of all ages will benefit from his message and support.

Excerpt about approaching and healing the Mother Wound in men from my recent conversation on the the Explorer Poet podcast. Full the full video go to kzbin.info/www/bejne/eWfGgGuufKaom5I.

Spot on, Rick! This is such profound insight-not least because it’s been paid for by your own blood, sweat and tears-that so many of us can easily relate to…

Wow this small clip super relatable. I’ve had this same exact experience thought and also in this position right now.

As you may recall,Rick, this hits very hard for me. Granted, I was double teamed by my mother's mother, too

I can't believe I finally found this information that I've berm searching for !! I would love to tell you some of the "symptoms" my SO has. I haven't been able to understand his motives until now! Thank you so much!!

27:10 inner critic.. KZbin Ross's Video= Self Gaslit narrative.

Wht about a men with a mother who left when he was 10 n returned when he was 16? He said "I had no mother, I got raised by a single father of 4 Children " he used to be a pro basketball player, is very ambitious, serious n had a long term rs of 5 years. They had argues about the smallest Things n their way to communicate wasn't right. He told me I got assets tht really could get him stuck.. But I'm actually scared, tht this guy could Tend to fall for Unstable rs with woman he have to prove himself.. So I'm scared he would not be able to see love in my caring n loving behavior? I did a lot of work myself. To which type of woman tend men with a mother who left? He said he felt no support during his rs. N I'm very sure he likes my Way of thinking about creating a bond n actually wants this, but ends up Falling for the opposite I'm bringing him out of his shell a little bit n tht it's been a while.. But somehow it feels like he go silent a lil.

That poem made me cry. It elicits everything I didn’t know I missed. Thank you very much for it. Beautiful

Thanks for this Rick.

I highly recommend Rick’s coaching! Rick is insightful, practical and helped me to achieve life changing goals.

I forgot if I told you Rick, but I've mostly languished in therapy for about 35 years (I wish I was kidding on that length of time). My wife and I did get some mileage from a life coach who specializes in helping adult children of narcissistic parents, but.. she really doesn't cover things from a men's issue perspective. So I guess it's time to get back in touch; not just over social media as we had before. I'm still drowning in some financial entanglements, so it might be a little while.

This is how I found you too. Hope to book some more sessions soon!

The conversation mentioned in the video that I had with Ross Rosenberg about the Mother Wound is available at kzbin.info/www/bejne/omeuZqZua92cm5Y.

We are left to rot on ower own as always.

Great message, good to hear from you Rick. And thanks for listening to me about a year ago.

I side with you Rick but I thought of putting this comment here just for the experiment sake of it here it goes; Is this where people go to make excuses and wave the victim card and the I am not responsible card. I love your work Rick just want to write this for what people might say but don't because I am not sure people I would disagree with.

Thank you so very much Rick and George. I have been reflecting on the points in the video over the last couple of days and it has had a profound impact on my thinking about being the man I could be and about nurturing the younger child within.

Thank you again Rick and George…. a deep and insightful conversation. So helpful. Full of respect for how you both open up personally to elaborate and expand concepts to bring clarity. And Rick… that poem … 😢… so powerfully devastating. What a way to communicate inner pain. All respect to you.

George Stoimenov? Yes that sounds familiar! Great to see you still doing what do my brother. Nige

Glad you're back Rick!

I was taught that men don't have emotions outside of anger which made my life difficult because I have extremely intense emotions. Because of my strong emotions I have always had trouble controling them. Some people can heal from bad things others never will. Unfortunately I fall in the latter category. I have often thought I could have handled being beaten daily rather than the damned cold indifference I got. (To put it in perspective he once told me that my grandmother, his mother, was never gonna die so he could get her money.) It's hard to accept a parent who loves vehicles yet disdains his children. I almost took a sledge hammer to one of his brand new Ford mustangs. I hated my father yet I also loved him. He blamed me for my mother divorcing him. Actually he blamed me most of the time when things didn't work as he wanted them. When I was three he cut down a tree for firewood. It was a large tree. The log rolled pinning my mom's leg. For the rest of his life he told people that I at 3 years old almost killed my mom because I made a 2 ton tree roll by playing around it. He enjoyed acting tough, threatening to hit me just to see fear in my eyes. Although that didn't happen often because it took too much emotion on his part. I could go on and on and on, like the energizer bunny. I have no doubt their are many many kids who had it worse. Yet I thought I would share some of my baggage. They say kids with unloving parents grow up to be self hating adults. That the child loves the parent without question so when the parent hates the child he or she will agree with the parent against themselves. My dad was very good at this, which he used as a way of controlling me. Self hatred causes self destructive behavior and while it is a miserable way to live I personally believe it cannot be cured. It shortens the life of the child/adult through their own self destructive way of life (like heavy drinking of alcohol, smoking, drug use, and a host of other things.) I Take care to all!

Beautiful. Thank you both.

Rick … that poem … yes… holy.

I had a mother that was there growing up physically but was never there emotionally. My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6. She ended up getting remarried and had two daughters. She treated her new family like a 2nd chance. She treated my brother and I like we were bastard product of a failed marriage. I never got the love from my mother that I desperately needed growing up. It's been hard to heal this wound because even today we see these tendencies showing up with the grand kinds. My brother adopted a child and my mother was emotionally until my sister from the 2nd marriage had a child and she started neglecting my brother son. It's hard to rangel that anger that results from it. It's like living the process all over again.