Great legal analysis. Also, shows why we need reform in family law. The courts need to eliminate alimony and the equitable division of assets in cases of affairs unless physical abuse preceded the affair. Tort reform and family law reform are two areas that are highly needed because they are inherently broken in the United States. Again, great legal analysis!

It's great to have ressources like this. Thank you. ❤

My friend who makes $65,000 a year was ordered to pay $3,000 a month to her ex who for 6 years has consistently made $3 million annually.

Susan, your discussion with Tracy and Debra was incredibly enlightening! Loved the Bobo Buffet analogy - it really puts things into perspective. Sent you a DM on Instagram to chat more. Thanks for sharing such valuable insights on divorce coaching!

Love Bill Eddy! We just edited our interview. ❤️

I've been separated for 7 months trying to work on my health but filling for divorce here soon. Would it be worth hiring a Forensic accountant to see if hes hidden money etc?

I would love to try therapy with you? I'm 63 years old and my youngest is 28 and all my kids have switched to his side. I have no one.

I've noticed a few times in the episode how a children who go through their parents' divorce at a young age under 18 is less challenging than "gray divorce" for adult children. I would LOVE to see the researched based evidence to back up that claim...

Children or adult children of divorce have human rights...I think we should spend alot more time on that absolute truth.

This doesn’t address the behaviour of the covert narcissist who is often on their absolute best behaviour around all lawyers mediators and judges while lying through their teeth.

Grateful for all the information. Does judges look into the case history before meeting? As it is important for judge to know what is happening before the actual meeting for fair judgement

Coercive controllers are not only malignant, malicious, sadistic and desperate to invade and dominate every aspect of the victims life (reputation, career, finances, relationships, freedom, privacy) but they are mentally ill addicts, and should be exposed, held accountable, and prosecuted for their abuse and the plethora of associated crimes. Most of the invasions are criminal, in my case, dozens- surveilling, tracking, stalking, spying, technology and social media hacking, blocking, and shadow banning, doxing, isolating, career and financial monitoring, theft, sabotage, threatening and black mailing friends and family, paying flying monkeys to run incessant interference,...etc. Two things need to be highlighted by lawyers, psychotherapists, and other professional services: 1-all stalkers are mentally ill. Period. Stalking in any form is sick, and exposes the victim to horrifying and dangerous perpetrators/flying monkeys and traffickers, and has hugely debilitating ramifications for the victims, sometimes including murder/death. 2-Coercive control has numerous criminal elements and should be prosecuted. Victims are not being protected because the system supports these types of crimes, which are only becoming more common.

I really like both of your podcasts, thanks so much for all of the work you’re doing for divorcing parents and their kids. It’s really helping me on many levels to navigate my divorce. I do wish that you would use more inclusive language for same-gender parents. It would mean a lot for so many of us in the LGBT community who are going through divorces (with the right to marry comes the right to divorce)🏳️‍🌈

March will be year #4 without my girls. I am so devastated everyday I wake up and see pictures of us around the house. Don’t know how long before it takes a toll on my health too. Even with how well my life has been going since the divorce, this overshadows all that happiness. And there’s nothing I can do

How can they hack the phone car or computer without access to the phone computer or car? And how can I get proof to show my attorney in the court system?

Thank you, that’s a spot on! I’m over 30, and struggling to deal with my parents’ divorce. I don’t know how to navigate future holidays, vacations, family get togethers with my spouse’s family… I want both of my parents to be happy in their lives. There was betreyal in their marriage, and I try to be neutral to their feud. I question the meaning of family and all my childhood memories. It’s hard.

Thank you 🙏

❤️

Hello

100% chance that these guys Google phrases like "How to cause pain without leaving any marks."

I find it weird at the tone of these people talking about trauma in a happy upbeat manner. People are coming here hurt so the speakers should speak in a way that comforts. Anything else sounds like a clanging cymbal.

Coercive control has ruined my life and I want to lift the weight of the coercive control off of me so I can live for myself and not feel guilt or shame.

If only mental, emotional and verbal abuse showed on our physical body. To see what comments, insults, mixed messages do to someone's psyche would be something shocking. I wondered that since I was an adolescent. Gen X kids are survivors.

My parents had 9 children, every one of them breathed a sigh of relief when my Mother decided to separate and divorce. On my part, I could visit my Father, something I hadn’t done for years, because my Mother would be there.

Divorce lawyer for 30 years, gotta say this, most Divorce Judges come to each case with their mind fully made up. There is so very little “Judging” done, they read the papers and take a position, getting them to first disclose the position, then, changing as necessary that position, is the art of the practise as a Divorce lawyer. My Frank advice to about 85% of litigants is devote your energy to settlement rather than litigation, you will almost certainly get an overall better result.

My friend's ex, in my opinion, is like a bad cold that never goes away. He's a narcissist that subtlely,, not necessarily coercively controls my friend at the casino. He's also the reason why my friend dosen't show up at the casino alone to hang out with me and my husband

This is life transforming. The stuck of wanting to be right?! We already are right and we need no more validation from anyone. Move on and create a beautiful life for yourself! ❤

I think society teaches how toxic behavior is beautiful: it teaches us through movies and social traditions. For example, most people in society would generally describe someone, who I might meet and hear their claim that they "love me and want to marry me and have children with me" (literally from the first sight of seeing me), as very romantic and cute. But this in reality is very abnormal and potentially dangerous. I met many men who are attractive and are instantly love -bombing. And it always felt irresistibly attractive to me. So, I was raised to be attracted to toxic behavior and see it as romantic. One time I met a guy who kept saying to me with emotional tears in his eyes how he loves me so much that he would die for me, kill for me and that he basically loves me to death. Eventually he started saying he would kill anyone who would take me away from him. I am educated enough to know it's not healthy at all. Yet, hearing those words made me feel "loved" and "so special" and more attracted to him. I don't know why I react like this. I am smart and I know I should not be attracted to it. But then, I never had my father's attention, I never had brothers or any siblings, and I was bullied in school by boys who'd call me ugly. I couldn't get help from bullying because I was afraid to tell my parents. I was afraid because they were fighting a lot. I felt isolated and scared, growing up. Suddenly, I meet someone who "cares" so much they'd commit crime just to keep me in their life. It makes me feel important and significant rather than scared - and those are the feelings I never had growing up(the feelings of being important and significant). Hence, love bombing from an attractive street gangsta (who was a drug user and drug seller)😢became absolutely biologically irresistible and addictive to me. However, after reading and hearing tons of information on signs and dangers of love bombing and statistics on homicide among cocaine users, I finally convinced myself that the sweet love-bombing individual was potentially a threat to my own life. I figured that only due to EXTREME amounts of reading and learning so much. I figured it already at the stage of love bombing, while still feeling my own crazy infatuation with that person. I couldn't break my own pull to him. But I forced myself to trick my brain. I told myself to take a break from him(just a two month break and not a break up). And during the break I might clear my mind a little, and convince myself to stay away from that individual on a permanent basis. But that huge amount of self-reflection and learning is possible for me because I generally love to read and learn: I went to school and got two university degrees and I learned to speak three languages. I guess I have very good learning skills that allowed me over many years to become aware of my own trauma bonding experiences, which are also a great factor in becoming "voluntarily" trapped in such dangerous-to-life relationships. But most regular people (who don't have Master's degrees and any reading/learning habits) might not have that ability. 😢

Some great points.

Is This a Fair Judgment?Located in San Anselmo , Marin, CA，3 bedrooms,3 bathroom, 2125 sqft.Have sun panel on the roofs, conditioning, two parking garage. There are three schools nearby. Only five to ten minutes to drive to those schools. The pice is 1.89 to 2.21 M from Zestimate. But the judge went down the pice to 1.65. Why?? Where I get the answer?? This is the fair American law??

I enjoy much of this conversation but will have to say being in many core narcissistic relationships, someone saying im sorry you feel that way is invalidating and triggering.

Controlling him when you leave him your just hurting him then you exercise your total control over reuniting its all about playing the victim so male isn't allowed any control

You know what I wish they would have talked about are: COPING MECHANISMS and HOW THE ABUSED PERSON SHOWS UP AS A PARENT as a result of long term DV. I coped (poorly) by socially drinking and during the last 3 years of my marriage by vaping weed daily. My ex shirked his responsibilities of being a parent (chose to be their friend) so I was saddled w all discipline. It wore me out so much being the bad parent, that I became short w my kids, angry and frustrated with any problem. I feel so much guilt for not being a better parent. My situation was just so terrible. I was constantly being set up by him to react so he could say look at how angry you are. You are the problem. I got sober in the last year of my marriage and the light finally went on. Getting sober and leaving the marriage were key to my healing.

My ex became physically abusive about 4 months after he moved in. Our couples counselor suggested he do a 6 week DV county program. He did. That scared him but not for long. After that his violence towards me changed. More threats, acting like he was going to punch me, trapped me in rooms and screamed in my face, verbal abuse, triangulated with our 2 daughters, emotional, and financial abuse. It was 21 years of hell. I’m so grateful I made it out alive. Unfortunately he’s gotten my 16 yo to hate/blame me and to not have a relationship with me, so I guess he’s still abusing me, now through her. My heart is broken.

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8.28.21 split moved out within a week. Took our camper and set it up. Things leveled out abuse wise, so I thought. A narc's mind never stops. He had my golden retriever service dog due to floor space limits. She was hand held from 10 days old, form the bond she needed to detect mood changes. Amazingly worked for me at 3 months old, instinct X bonding (ty mama for allowing me to handle your baby, was mine. How a human coerces a dog (if I left earlier, my kids would have been pawns, NO DOUBT. He is pure evil...... I have my own tiny home, but my furniture was so big, I needed to remove what was there and purchase a sofa bed, transformable sectional ( for next place, making it fit!) I used the excuse that my bed was back in the house, I was also going to work some kind of psychology, I'll name it when I'm done, choosing to live back here giving him LESS time to scheme and manipulate AGAINST ME. My biggest fear is the handgun in his closet. 38 years, he never needed it. Using the law, you can carry in campgrounds in Florida, he purchased one. He picked it up on a Friday, by Saturday morning he had created a reactive rage scenario instantly thinking I'll mention the use of his new "control". I called the local Polk County sheriff for help, not feeling safe around him. I was TAKEN in CUFFS TO A BAKER ACT. #2 He also did this with lies and a LE badge from Dutchess County, NY, in Florida, accepted on site, no ? asked by LE here, just accepted it. I didn't feel a need to bribe them when I called ASKING for HELP. cuffs and a 5 day lock up is BS, and he can do it over and over if he wants, if his lies convince LE I said specific harming words, NO RECOVERY.

When a business is built on scorched earth and burnt bones accomplished by creating unneeded complication with the goal of changing the natural flow of consequences what kind of human fills this position? Are we seeing agents of the state sent to eat out our substance by weakening men with the goal to keep humanity in chains (surly if men stopped complying the gov would be out of business pretty quickly)? Am I listening to two low level snakes in the grass only interested in lining their pockets (lying, cheating, stealing, backstabbing effeminate snakes)? If possible to peer into these speakers lives what would we find?

Anyone know where Part Two is? I can’t find it

THANK YOU for SPREADING the LIGHT. I'm finally allowing myself freedom of letting go after years of abuse. When no one supports you or believes in you then it's harder to escape. Children are used as pawns for sure-Disney Dad-once every blue moon shows up and becomes the hero because he has power and money. Kids are growing up though, they are starting to see the true colors of the monster.

I agree that bringing teachers in on what’s happening at home is super helpful and supportive for the child. I did that with my youngest after divorce and it was great to be a team with her teacher. However, sometimes moms don’t tell what’s going on if there is abuse involved because they are afraid the mandated reporter is going to involve CPS and they might lose their kids. So something has to be done to make it safe for parents to disclose and ask for help without the threat of kids being taken from them. Also, expecting both parents to attend a conference together when there is a history of domestic violence is not okay. No matter how tired the teacher is, putting a an abuse survivor in danger is not the answer. It’s not about the parents just needing to act like grownups - it’s actually unsafe for the survivor to have to sit in a conference with their abuser (who most definitely is pathologically NOT a grownup). It’s nice that the podcast guest can interact safely with her ex but that is not a realistic expectation when abuse is involved. There might even be a restraining order keeping them from being there together.

But you have too be well-off to get the help you desperately need. So wrong.

Your work may be good, but it costs so much money that only well-off people could do it. That really bothers me. Dr Childress wrote a book to help people. Why do you have to keep your solutions hidden so you make tons of money off of people going through terrible things? If you have something that will help people with such an important thing, why do you have to make it impossible for us to get?

I tried to rebuild the same house more than once, I just couldn't quit, I suffered betrayal PTSD, it took me 30 years to finally let go, I feel like a fool now

Great talk ❤

Psychological terrorism is violence. On a deep level, according to more recent research, the brain does not distinguish physical and mental pain . Having endured psychological terrorism, financial abuse, gang stalking... I can say from experience that that which is invisible to others is THAT MUCH MORE HARMFUL, AND OVER TIME, WHEN ESCAPE IS DELIBERATELY PREVENTED, THIS COURSE OF CONDUCT CRIME IS DELIBERATE, INTENTIONAL, MALICIOUS MURDER ON ALL LEVELS, PREVENTING THE VICTIM FROM EVEN BEING ABLE TO SAVE THEIR OWN LIFE, BEFORE THEIR LIFE IS UPSKIRTED, WASTED, AND SPENT BY SADISTS WHO ENJOY WATCHING THEIR DESTRUCTION FROM A SAFE DISTANCE.

So spot on

You say to love and be compassionate but at the same time you talk divorce. Which is it? Do you stay with someone who refuses to change or get help or do you stay and just be compassionate?

After 27 years my health began to go bad suddenly when the emotional abuse became more than I could bare ( 6 months after our son moved out at 24 years old). As devastating as it is for everyone. I’m sure my death would have been worse than the divorce. My doctor literally told me that she could not give me blood pressure medicine but that the distress I had every day was so strong that she was afraid I was going to get a heart attack from high blood pressure.After years of research I can’t deny that my soon to be ex is extremely controlling and manipulative and may have antisocial/NPD

Something beautiful did come out of my marriage. I have 2 wonderful sons. My ex had a baby with the affair partner but they split up eventually.

Johnny Depp is only 1 of Many MEN who suffer from Coercive Control. Wife/mother “teaches” children this travesty that