To us older gals, well, for myself, it's all too late now. The damage has been done over the past 50 years. Don't ever grope me again. Do not objectify me ever again. Nobody owns me. And when you grope me in public or speak sexually out loud to me in front of others, you're not being respectful. It's not endearing and gets you nowhere. What if you have a daughter, let's say her age isn't legal yet, but some man desires her and wants to grope her, so he does. Is that not something that would upset you? Well, your wife is no different when it comes to respect and boundaries. My husband has never listened to me and taken me respectfully. Then he became with severe ED, and now prostate cancer, yet he still speaks to me and gropes me like he thinks he's a 30 year old stud. It's over for me. My feelings have flatlined. So many years of trying to make him understand yet he continues to act like a sex-crazed 14 year old with nasty, turn-off one liners who acts like he owns me and tries to control me. It's never mattered what I say or think, or how nicely or gently I've arranged my words. I'm still fearful of changing my clothes with him around, or bending over to pick something up... being a patient just getting out of surgical recovery being taken to my room, only to hear, "What's it gonna take for guy here to get laid?" Or "you're not doing anything there in bed (me still in my surgical gauze with blood staining out onto my bandage) move over and let me hump you." If I'm sitting on the toilet he'll enter and stand there to watch me, to which I must ask him to please leave. Apparently, I have 'please abuse me' tattooed on my forehead, because my words, pleas and rejections have never mattered. Now I'm old and wrinkled, so is he, and I still haven't escaped it. Not even in his current condition... He also tries to keep me afraid of the world and unsure of myself. I must be a moron who got too used to her life.

I totally agree it is an addiction because once they cheated ,then can’t stop. By Amelia

You can’t meet another person’s emotional needs all the time. You have to decide for yourself that you won’t cheat. It’s called integrity in marriage. Protect your spouse.

Sorry, it’s one and done for most women. The one who was cheated on can do so much better, than taking back the weak one. These men must be getting tired of women not automatically taking them back any more, bc we’re so much more independent.

Please keep making more videos here. Its really changed my life

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Excellent video Brother

Excellent video Brother

#Hope #PearlsofWisdom

Wonderful guy. Well-informed. Thank you.

Their stuff works in saving marriages and keeping them happy and loving. Thanks Steve Harley!

Thanks for this series. I am learning a lot and seeing areas that I need to improve. You are sharing principles applicable everywhere. Thanks again and blessings!!!

Why ?!…Because of a sense of entitlement ! The Intention will determine the viability . Lust or Love ! Either way there must be consent and mutual enjoyment ! Males be Dogs . No woman wants to be used unless she got little to no self esteem , she a skank or a gold digger . Some males have the audacity to think that if a woman lets her man grope her publicly , that he can do it better than her man , thus making her vulnerable to ridicule or unwanted attention . Most Women don’t like it even from their partners ! It feels disrespectful and trophy driven .

I asked my significant other to watch this presentation after he attempted to fondle me without permission. We had not begun kissing, hugging, etc. He became angry and defensive. He completely shut down. He cancelled a vacation we had planned together. I’ve tried to share my feelings and concern, he goes to get it.

I believe that men get grabby because they want it done to them. Men see it as a sign that they are desired and that sexual contact can be fun and playful. While I see the point of this content creator, there is middle ground to be achieved.

6:30

What if she doesn't want to meet any of your needs?

My wife is a stay at home mom. I work full time and run a side business that replaced her income. We got 10 acres of land and are renting while we build a homestead. I come home and relieve her of our one 15 month old son and she goes and takes a bath because she's overwhelmed by putting the food, dishes, and laundry into machines that do all the work for her. She even has the help of her parents who live down the road. So I take over and do half of the very easy chores for her on top of my work load of providing. I do the laundry and dishes, wash the bottles, tidy up the place, take care of our son, all while making all the money, budgeting, planning for our future, and doing my absolute daily best effort to keep our spark alive. I talk, I flirt, I try to coax her into sex, I give her affection, massage her feet at least 3 times a week, I stay in shape. I diet. I don't watch porn or masturbate. I don't look at other women. I plan our dates. I save money for our retirement. I'm constantly thinking of new ways to increase our prosperity and bliss. Because I don't just want her to be happy. I want her to be on cloud 9. The best she can do is be exhausted all the time in spite of all of the support and favorable conditions she has that countless other women would kill for. All I want in return is some attention, some desire, some reciprocation. But that's too much of a tall order for her. She can't even answer my bids for connection. Talking, flirting, being sexy, and having fun with me is just too hard. She has to "try" too much. She does reciprocate maybe 25% of the time, but that's not enough. I feel alone and unwanted in our marriage and I'm tired of the imbalance. She'd rather spend time on the screen or with her parents. I would never dream of cheating because 1) I couldn't live with myself, and 2) the woman who gave me the time of day would end up neglecting me too. Because all women change. In marriage for men - if you lose, you lose. But even if you win, you still lose.

Do you ever confront these questioners about their sin??? So many of these people are sinning against God

It certainly helped my marriage ❤

Yo, Bob. Interrupting is not an interview style.

Yo, Bob. Interrupting is not an interview style.

Yo, Bob. Interrupting is not an interview style.

What a painful experience, God is doing the healing in me.

my female cousin is a software engineer i am a actuary :P

there is women that put sex first on the list they always sound like women are clueless and blind as bats

sex

This has truly been a blessing to me. Thank you.

For his "just compensation" he left out quite a bit. Sure you can't repay, and of course you go no contact, and the betrayed will be grumpy, and stay for two years, but what else? What about reparative words and actions? What about trying to figure out why you cheated? What about leading recovery efforts? Checking in, showing empathy and remorse? Sitting with the betrayed spouse in their pain? Holding space for their anger and responding with compassion?

I am a man... And Absolute honesty is my main emotional need... I would say that it is even above sexual fulfilment...

Can you get ahold of me to talk.

Thanks for your advice!

We have lost our moral compass. Where not grounded to anything not like we used to be. We who are not perfect but have empathy still can see how lost this nation is in values and morals. Sex is nothing it's everywhere and it's like taking a breath nothing to it

3:03 True. I was Betrayed by the man who lived me. I had no idea that he was cheating with his married coworker, Maureen. You don't know how much pain it causes.

I think this has been good advice but when we get to the problem of asking someone to do something it goes into ridiculousness, IMO. For instance, while rushing around doing last minute preparations before company arrives: "I need you to take the trash out. Our guests will be here in half an hour." or "How do you feel about taking the trash out? If you do it in the next half hour it would be preferable because our guests are arriving at that time. But only do it if you feel good about it." ??? "Make sure you get some milk on the way home." or "How would you feel about buying some milk on your way home? Would it be inconvenient for you?" I'm going to try this method with my husband and daughter. They'll think I lost my mind. How about just using "please" and "thank you"?

So glad to see another young marriage that has lasted! When we got married I was 18 and my husband was 22. We just celebrated our 42nd anniversary and hope for many more. It has not been uneventful but we were determined to work out our problems so that's what we did. Our love has become deeper and stronger over the years with absolute devotion. No thought of divorce.

I've never heard such wisdom concerning relationships from any other source, often your podcast seems like you are speaking over each other, both of you have so much to share...really a blessing

There is a reason infidelity was punished by stoning. The damage it causes affects everyone in the betrayed persons life.

Love your work Dr Harley.

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Just compensation: great idea, sounds like something very healing. 1) never talk to them again 2) prevent chance encounters - expect withdrawal and moodiness for the next few months, a bit like being in a lousy mood from dieting 3) if you go into work with them, you need to resign probably or trigger affairs all over again 4) Have to be together for two years to create a successful relationship again 5) Trust is restored and marriage can recover

Being a betrayed spouse I understand how she might feel. My spouse says to be positive but sometimes I feel she’s defensive. It triggers me because I remember her arrogance when I tried to get her not to commit adultery. It’s easy to say stay positive when you’re not the victim but play the victim. It’s hard to get over the humiliation and emotional scars. It also helps when the betrayer plays more of a active role in recovery instead of avoidance.

This is basically an ancient form of a podcast. I loved it

My wife cheated on me. We have our problems, but I’m still in love with her. I’m crestfallen over this, but want to heal our marriage. She’s worth it and I’m willing to work together to restore our family.

30 wonderful years of marriage,so I thought ended in infidelity.... I agree it is so painful,I don’t know how to live without him. I don’t understand why this happened

He is correct…it was the MOST PAINFUL experience of my life! It ended 1 year ago & I’m in just as much pain as 1 yr ago…therapy, support group, etc…

So true..where to find more willards?

Why doesn’t he let his wife talk? Is he a narcissist perhaps!

May o may yeah my husband is a lieing and gaslighting Cheating person. What can I do

Thank you