I am trying to remember.. as I am looking at your Picture.. I am Looking in the second Room.. sitting on the top of the desk is the Empty Vase.. as I am trying to Hear your voice.. Looking at your Number.. I am holding the Phone.. the Cell Phone.. but.. there is a sticker Picture inside the Cell Phone I have.. as I am looking at the sticker Picture.. there is YOUR beautiful face.. and I know that In this Cabin Log home.. why is it that I am in this House.. I am asking myself.. if I just don't remember any thing at ALL.. I have Lost the memories of Us.. and it is just killing me inside.. How can something like this be happening to Me.. and I feel so bad that I don't remember.. as I am looking at this sticker picture of YOU inside the Phone of the Cover.. I want to ask YOU about this.. so I am looking at your Number and I would push to Hear it ring through.. putting the Phone on my ear.. I am waiting for YOU to pick it UP on the Other side.. WILL you please hear me Outs.. and I wait.. as it keeps ON ringing and I hear Your Voice on the other Side.. I hear the word HELLO.. and I would say to YOU.. I see a Sticker on the cover of the Phone.. I want to remember.. but I feel like I am still stuck here.. I went to the doctor.. because I wanted to have some answers.. and the doctor keeps on telling me that I needs to wait for the memories to come Back.. but I feel like it is taking me just too long.. and I want to tell YOU.. what am I suppose to DO.. because I think it is Hurting me More as I keep on thinking about this situation.. will you Please help me so that I could remember.. as I am listening to your Voice and what YOU would share.. YOU are telling me about a Fair Park.. going to the state fair Park.. it was me who wanted to GO and it was I who asked you to Come to the State Fair Park.. and I am standing here.. trying to remember about the State Fair park.. also I won on a contest and got the Big Teddy Bear and we took a picture of it.. and as I am listening on the Phone.. YOU are telling me that the Picture is in the second ROOM.. and behind the Desk the Picture is there.. so I would walk over to the Desk and I would bend Low and go under the desk.. laying on the Floor and my hand goes to LOOK behind the desk.. I feel something and it is the Picture.. as I pull the Picture Down and I would slowly move out and I would stand UP.. as I would be holding One hand of the Picture.. and the Other hand is the Phone on the ear.. and I would tell YOU on the Phone.. I see the Picture.. I see YOU holding.. arms wrap around the Big TEDDY BEAR.. with a smile.. and above the Picture is another Sticker Picture and it is take of me.. and I am wondering.. did I also take a Sticker Picture too.. because there is One Above stick on this Picture of YOU arms holding around the BIG TEDDY BEAR.. and I would hear your Voice.. and I would say.. I wish I can remember.. but I am Not sure of this Place.. this is the reason why I should not of called YOU because Now I feel so bad.. I see that I have taken a Sticker Picture and YOU have too because I have a sticker Picture of YOU on the Phone Cover.. and Yes.. I went to the Doctor.. asking him why I just can't remember anything.. and it is making me feel so SICK because I have NO Idea.. I have No clue about anything.. I would ask YOU.. why have you chosen this Place.. WHY did I come to this CABIN LOG HOME.. is it because YOU want me to remember everything.. and YOU do know what the doctor said right.. did YOU know that I be memory Loss and would Not remember anything.. I even heard the Doctor said.. maybe I will never remember anything any More.. when the Doctor told me this today.. walking back.. leaving the Hospital.. I broke down in tears.. I just could not take it any more because think about HOW CAN I LIVE like this.. never to remember myself or even YOU.. did YOU even know about this.. and I would wait for you to say something.. your response and I hear your Voice on the Other Line.. and I would hear you say Yes.. that the Doctor TOLD YOU that in serious condition.. the Memories may Never come around and just to prepare for me to be LIKE a stranger.. as I be hearing this from YOU on the Other Line.. I want to Break my Heart into Pieces.. WHY.. why does this has to happen to Me.. if you knew what the doctor said to YOU.. why didn't you tell me.. if you knew before Hand.. you could at least tell me so that I would Not have to hear from the Doctor.. if I broken down in tears after leaving the Hospital.. and hearing the Word Never.. I just couldn't take it any More.. I know that YOU probably don't feel the same way too.. that is why I am calling YOU on the Phone.. that is why I called you so that at least YOUR voice can help me to remember something.. If I remain silent.. I know for sure I will Not remember.. that is why I am asking YOU TO help me to remember YOU.. I needs to know.. when I saw the Phone on the table.. and I opened and saw the Cover of the Phone.. something catch my eye was the sticker Picture.. and I would draw closer to take a LOOK.. as I would get closer.. I see YOU.. I want to say I love YOU.. did I ever told YOU that.. did YOU hear the words I love YOU and I miss YOU from me.. did I ever tell YOU that.. and as I would wait on the Line.. I would hear your Voice and YOU be telling me that I told you those two words A lot to YOU.. and I would tell you on the Phone.. then I believe I can start with These two Words.. can I tell YOU that I miss YOU.. missing YOU drives me crazy and YOU be telling me that YOU are going to come to visit me.. if YOU know where I live.. why don't you ever come visit me.. since YOU know me well.. of course even though I have this Memory Loss.. I still can take a look at YOU in person.. the More I see YOU in person.. the More I can see and I feel and hear YOU.. that way can help me more right.. Only if YOU want to show UP.. only if YOU want to come so that I can see YOU.. so Please stop by and show me who you are.. and as I turn around and I would walk away from the second room.. I walk to the living ROOM and there is the window.. I would look through the Window.. and I see someone standing Out side.. and I would walk a little closer to the Window and I see a Figure.. on the Phone.. My heart starts to beat Fast.. as I am looking.. is it YOU.. but I would not ask YOU that because I would only ask myself.. I am by the Window with my Phone.. and I see someone out side also with the Phone.. I am wondering.. if YOU have come to stop By and I would watch as the Figure turns away and starts to walk away.. and I am thinking it must be YOU who came to visit.. if you came this close.. why don't you knock on the Door.. if it was YOU would was standing Out side by the DOOR.. YOU know that I would of Opened the DOOR for YOU.. and Let YOU in.. I would ask you.. Please help me to remember.. YOU know that I feel like I am dying inside because I feel like a stranger to myself of NOT even knowing who I am.. DID YOU see me get closer to the window.. is that WHY YOU have turned away and has walked Off.. as I am hearing a Long Pause on the Phone.. I wanted to ask YOU if it was YOU who came closer.. came to this LOG CABIN HOME.. I wanted to ask if It was YOU because I saw a Figure.. someone On the Phone by the Door.. close to the window.. it was Only a Knock away from the DOOR.. you could of knocked.. and YOU could of showed me your Face and I could of saw YOU first time in person.. But.. why did YOU leave.. WHY did you have to walk away.. YOU know that I would let YOU come In.. my arms are opened to receive YOU and YOU are always welcome to come inside.. is it because of Me.. is it that the main reason why YOU have chosen to leave.. as I would say something on the Phone.. I would say.. are you still there.. and I do hear Your Voice and YOU are telling me that YOU needs to Go.. so I would tell YOU on the Phone.. Next time.. all YOU needs to do is Knock on the Door.. YOU know that I will answer and I will let YOU in.. and I would hear YOU say on the Phone.. and I would say.. I went into the second ROOM.. after YOU be telling me about the Picture of YOU holding.. arms around the BIG TEDDY BEAR.. it was a struggle for me to get down on the Floor to crawl.. hand grabs and pulls behind the Desk and I find the Picture of YOU.. I saw a Sticker picture on the corner of it.. that is why I asked because some one put the little sticker picture of ME on the top corner and I would hear your Voice say.. it was YOU.. and I would ask YOU.. who is the One who put this Picture Behind the Desk in the second Room.. and I would hear YOU say on the Other Line of the Phone.. that ONE NIGHT.. YOU came over.. and after the State Fair Park.. YOU wanted to Hide this Picture.. YOU would say that I just could NOT let this Picture GO.. and that I would always look at It.. of course it drove YOU mad and angry because it seems Like I would love this Picture More than YOU.. but that is NOT true.. why would I love the Picture More.. when YOU are BETTER to love.. better to Hold and to touch and to KNOW because when I hold you close.. I can feel my Heart be beating.. the SOUND of my Heart Beat is the reason WHY I love YOU and can say.. can tell YOU HOW much I love YOU.. but.. of course I do Love and enjoy looking at your Picture too.. it is because It is YOU.. why.. do you want me to LOOK at another person's picture instead.. of course NOT.. so YOU should be at least happy that I love YOU and that is why I love Your Picture TOO.. so.. because of this.. YOU wanted to hide the Picture and has Placed it in the second ROOM behind the desk.. and YOU be saying.. I started to Miss Your Picture for a while.. after YOU hid that behind the Desk and that is why YOU put a sticker Picture of YOU on the Front cover

Door if I was the One who loved YOU more.. if I can still love YOU.. I will.. if I needs to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I will tell YOU.. but YOU needs to help me first.. if you can only come back and return to the Front.. by the door.. by the window.. I know I be here.. ready to receive YOU IN.. you were so Close to the Door.. very Close.. if YOU can change your mind to return back.. I want to take you to the second ROOM.. I want to ask YOU about the Empty Vase.. it is so Beautiful.. but I want to know why is this Empty Vase sitting in the ROOM on the top of the desk.. WILL you please tell you what this is ALL about.. I want to Know.. because I been staring at it for a while.. but WHY DO I keep on looking at it.. does it has some means to it.. must be something because I would stand there and JUST look.. just stare at it like something is wrong with Me.. so Please come back.. and I will let YOU in.. as I am standing still.. I hear your Voice and tells me that YOU needs to Go.. and I would say.. WHY.. does that Means YOU are not going to come back around.. WHY are you leaving me like this Now.. if YOU came so Close.. why are you telling me you needs to go Now.. I want some answers that YOU KNOW.. because I believe YOU know what ALL these things are about.. so Please help me.. so that I can still keep on loving YOU where it needs to start again.. I just bought a New Home.. Leaving the City life into the Country side.. I am walking over the Mountains.. into the Hills and to the valley.. a Small Log House in the woods.. as I am walking through the Snow.. I stop to see.. the Flakes are falling from the Sky.. I am very close to the Log Cabin House.. Finally.. I have been waiting to get Out of the city life.. as I stop.. I am able to see the Snow flakes falling from the Sky.. as I unlock the Door.. and I enter the Small Log Cabin Home.. as I look into the Small Two bed room Home.. I am wondering.. why did I even buy a House with two rooms.. I have no one coming over.. but I know that If I prepare the place.. Maybe.. some one will show Up.. I have never met the person who use to Live in this Small Log Cabin house.. as I walk into One of the rooms.. There is a Desk.. I wonder why someone has left this Desk Behind.. something stops me before I turn to walk away.. I see something on the TOP of the Desk.. what is It.. I am wondering.. what is It.. SO I would walk closer to the Desk.. there is a Written Note.. and Next to the Note is a Picture.. of course I can only see the back of the Picture.. I am wondering.. maybe it must be the Picture of the Person who use to live in this Small Log Cabin House.. But why would some one leave a precious Gift behind.. if I lived in this House.. I know for sure I will Not leave anything special.. or Precious to me behind.. But.. should I turn the Picture over to see who this Person is.. I am standing there.. thinking of.. but I know that this is Not my picture.. WHY would I turn it over to look if it is Not for Me.. I am sure.. maybe the Person was in a rush.. and has forgotten to take this Picture.. but.. WHY would YOU write a Note for me.. I know that the written Note.. it is telling me.. giving me an instruction.. but why would you tell me something.. I can just live whatever I want.. I see the Note Next to the Picture.. Both are facing where I cannot see.. as I would stop.. maybe I should take a Look.. must be very important if YOU have written for the New Home Owner.. which I have purchased this Small Log Cabin Home from YOU.. I have never met YOU.. but Of course I do remember before the Contract.. YOU called me on the Phone.. and Got a chance to listen to Your Beautiful Voice.. Now.. I am very curious.. YOUR voice.. truly felt like I was listening to an Angel.. I know that If you sang a SONG.. I bet it would melt my Heart like the Snow Flakes.. I would stand Out side.. before I came to the DOOR.. to Unlock.. I would LOOK Up to the sky.. My hand opens.. I would watch the Falling snow flakes.. when It touched my hand.. it just melted and maybe Your Voice.. if YOU sang to Me.. My Heart can melt the way the Snow Flakes can melt into my hands.. I was smiling because I been living in apartment for a Long time.. just paying rent to rent monthly.. But.. Now.. able to purchase a new Home.. Out here in the Country side.. walking and climbing on the mountains.. just enjoying the fresh cold air as I would be walking through the Snow.. never felt so Alive in my life.. But Now.. I am here.. inside this Small Log Cabin Home.. and I just walked into a ROOM.. YOU did not take the desk.. there is a Picture laying on the TOP of the desk face down.. with a written Note facing down.. I am just wondering.. I remember when I picked UP the Phone.. and hearing your voice on the Other side.. on the Other line.. Your Voice.. it truly touched my Heart.. I begin to wonder more about YOU because of this Sensational touch.. Your Voice moved my Heart.. I felt it kick inside of Me.. and never felt that way before.. so I would start wondering.. I wonder How YOU would look.. as YOU were so happy to sell the House and even telling me Congratulation on the purchase of the New Home.. as I would share with YOU how I lived in rents all my Life.. but able to get a house means everything to me.. giving me a great deal in the purchase.. of course I wanted to ask YOU.. if YOU can sing.. because I wanted to know if YOU can sing.. can YOU sing a song so that I can listen to Your voice with my Heart opened.. but of course I never asked.. YOU probably think I am a crazy person.. as I am standing by the desk.. My hand grabs the Picture.. I wanted to turn it over.. I wanted to see the person who I just spoke with ON the Phone.. YOUR voice.. I just want to hear again.. can I listen to Your Voice.. would you let me call you on the Phone so that I can listen.. My Heart wants to listen to Your Voice again.. before I want to ask YOU.. I want to know how you look.. why are you so Nice.. why are you so kind to me.. I want to know who YOU are.. WHY would you leave this Picture behind if YOU have never met me.. if YOU have never seen me in person.. why leave me Your Precious gift.. Your Special gift.. I am nothing but a stranger to YOU.. what if I am a weird person.. some crazy person.. would YOU not be afraid of Me.. As I grab the Picture and turn to LOOK at it.. I see YOU sitting.. and My Heart jumps.. My Heart skips missing that Beat.. Just like Your Voice.. soft and beautiful.. I see your picture.. I see YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful too.. YOU are so Lovely.. feels like YOU can take my breathe way.. then what happens to my Breathe if you take it from Me.. what are you doing to me Now.. WHY leave this Picture behind and when I see this Picture.. I can feel my Breathe.. it wants to be released from Me.. I can't breathe.. my eyes wants to say I can't breathe because YOU are so Beautiful.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. YOU are sitting down.. and I am wondering what is it that YOU are holding.. Why are you holding a Vase.. is it a vase for flowers.. I am not sure why YOU are leaving this Picture with Me.. what does it means.. why are you showing me this Picture for.. I have no clue.. I have no idea.. but why are you letting me see this picture.. and making my Heart to say I want to cry.. I have never met you before.. But How is this possible for Me.. why do I feel like I want to love YOU.. please tell me how can this be true because I have never met you before.. as I am looking at your arms holding this vase.. why is it empty.. are YOU not suppose to put something into that Vase.. it is an empty Vase Your hands are holding.. Please.. OH Please tell me what is the meaning of this because I want to know.. I have no clue.. I have no idea why you are showing me this.. I don't see any empty Vase.. but only this Picture.. with a Note.. so I would go over.. my hand grabs the Note and flips to look.. and YOU have written to me about the Picture.. and telling me about the Vase.. an Empty Vase.. and YOU have left it on the Other Room.. and I am not sure why YOU would tell me this.. what am I suppose to do with the Empty Vase.. I don't have any flowers.. and all it tells me to take good care of the Empty Vase.. and Now.. YOU are letting me to keep it.. so I am standing in this room wondering.. YOU are giving me this Empty Vase.. but I have no flowers to put in it.. so what am I suppose to do with this.. SO I would turn around walking out of this room.. the Other room is next on the right.. as I enter the second room.. There is another Desk.. and ON top of the Desk is the Vase.. an empty Vase sitting on the top of the Desk.. am I suppose to tell you something about this vase.. am I suppose to share with YOU what I want to do because it is Not making any sense with me a this Point.. I feel like I am Not the Owner of this House anymore.. since YOU are leaving things behind for me to take care of It.. I am not a male servant.. and NO.. I am not here to clean this House either.. I just purchased this House from YOU.. but WHY do I feel like there is a person who Owns it and maybe I am just renting this Place.. that is how I am feeling because.. I have to watch over things that does Not belongs to me.. I have brought my own bags and luggage so that NOW I can live in this house.. and I stand on the second room.. Looking at the Vase.. has water inside this Vase so it is Not completely empty.. but still looks empty to Me.. so I walk over to the second Desk.. I see a Picture with the Face Down.. so is it a Prank.. is this a joke because I am not feeling it at this Point.. my hand grabs and I turn to look at the front.. I see a Picture of a Heart.. as I am looking at the picture closer.. YOU have taken a picture of a Heart shape.. it is a Pillow I can see.. but why are you showing me this Picture.. I know that I love Heart.. but what does it means.. why are you doing this to Me

Young.. but it seems like YOU know me.. why would you tell me this.. Maybe YOU are writing to another person.. but then knowing that it is I who just purchased this House.. It has to be for Me.. who else lives in this House.. I am the only one who bought this House from YOU.. so I know that we met before.. and telling me when were young.. HOW long was this.. How old was I when I met YOU.. Please tell me.. and I am thinking about calling YOU on the Phone.. But.. I am Not just going to call YOU and say I don't remember YOU.. so How am I suppose to answer this question because I don't remember.. I am trying to go back.. way way way back to see if I do remember you.. I am closing both eyes.. Both.. Nothing I can see back then.. why.. when did we ever meet before.. I am looking at Your Picture.. the Picture of YOU holding.. arms around the Empty Vase.. and I would look at the Picture.. WHEN was it that we meet.. I have No clue.. Please give me a Hint.. I feel like I am a crazy person.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU and just talking.. knowing YOU are Not going to answer back from It.. that is How crazy I am becoming because Now.. I am wondering.. when and where.. what age.. what school.. was it in the apartments.. NOT sure.. but Please tell me when because I truly want to know now.. I hate it when things are so mysterious.. I want to know.. YOU are the only one who knows that is why YOU are asking me.. what am I suppose to do and how do I say this to you if I tell YOU I don't know.. it can hurt you as much it will hurt me not knowing.. Please.. tell me.. give me a clue.. give me a Hint.. and I would put the picture face down on top of the desk.. I love YOU.. do you know that these three words Hit me.. when I did Not hear from you the past few days.. the Word I love you came into my Heart when I would remember what the Doctor Told me.. he told me something that YOU have not mentioned about and I just wanted to tell YOU this from my Heart.. that I love YOU.. and all I think of YOU.. YOU be in my Mind.. YOU kept on being on my Heart and ON my Mind.. Why can't I just erase you Off my Mind.. I can't.. Please tell me How.. as I am looking at this Cabin Log home.. I want to remember what happened to Us.. You have left a Message on the Phone.. and hearing your Voice.. I would listen to Your Voice.. stop and play over and over.. trying to remember YOU.. it hurts me More than it hurts YOU because I have found another Picture.. it is YOU holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and YOU are showing me this Peace Sign.. and it is that Smile that Get to me when I take a Look into that Picture.. where was this taken At.. How can I forget.. and YOU are Not helping me in any of this.. why can't you tell me where was it At.. I dialed YOUR number and I called YOU on the Phone.. but YOU would not pick up this Time.. I started to Beat on my Chest.. and I sat on the Floor.. Looking at this picture of YOU holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. I have the first Picture on the first Room.. and there is an Empty vase in the second Room.. and I found this Picture on the second Room.. when I lifted UP the Empty Vase.. this picture was underneath it.. I remember buying this Home.. but I do not know who it was that was selling me this Home.. Just love the Wood areas and far from the city side of Life.. just wanted to live this quiet life until I heard your Voice.. and it was YOU who were thanking me purchasing this Home.. I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to meet YOU.. but YOU told me that it is Not the right TIME.. I remember walking into this Log Cabin Home.. the House was empty.. but there was this scent.. this smell of a perfume when I went into this Empty house.. this Empty home.. did Not know where the smell came from.. I would walk Out of the House.. looking around.. I saw no one.. but this Smell.. where does this soft smell of scent came from.. Is it that my memories are coming back slowly because I think I smelled this scent before.. I am trying to remember this smell but I know that I knew this smell.. Was it YOU who came to this Empty Home before I came.. I am wanting to Know.. so much questions going through my Mind.. I want answers.. when I first Unlocked the Door to enter.. the Smell Hit me like the thin air of cold Icy air.. it hit me in such a massive wave.. I know that someone had to be here.. because I heard that It was a New Home.. or was It Not.. does this Home belong to YOU.. or was it Mine in the past.. Please tell me something because I would like to know.. I remember after leaving the empty Home.. I would take a Long walk a long walk alone.. I was thinking about YOU.. because I heard Your Voice.. How excited Your Voice were because I bought this Home.. as I heard YOUR voice after leaving on the Message.. I would be walking.. holding the Phone in my Hand.. Placing the Speaker close to my ear.. I loved hearing your Voice.. wondering How do you Look on the Other side.. wishing can I meet YOU too.. as the Cold Breeze Hits into the Dark night.. I would see the MOON appear before Me.. snow on the Floor.. and I kept on walking.. playing to Listen to your Voice.. Is there a way I can speak back to YOU.. is there a way I can call the Number and tell YOU what My Heart truly thinks of Your Voice.. of course I did Not see your picture around this TIME.. it was the first day after I came Out of the Hospital.. waking UP to a Coma.. but the Doctor telling me that I am good to go.. that I can walk well.. leaving the Hospital I went straight to the New Home.. which I was surprised of getting a Home in the first place.. a message and a Picture came on the Phone.. with the direction to the Location.. and I took the taxi and the man drove me there.. with the key in my hands.. I think the Doctor knew something but He did Not tell me anything.. just gave me the keys to the new Home.. I don't remember when I bought this House.. that is why I feel so strange walking into this New Home.. I am looking at the walls of the Room.. the second room I am standing.. my hand touch the wall.. I don't know what to do.. what am I suppose to say about this situation.. I feel so Lost and so confused because I am standing in a new Home.. but I don't remember any one of this.. I would look at the Phone.. and I am looking at your Picture YOU send me.. and asking me DO I remember YOU.. It hurts Me.. But YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU are so Lovely.. why are YOU sticking around towards a man who has lost everything.. I don't even remember right Now.. as the Doctor gave me the Keys to the new House.. He tells me something before HE let me go.. that there was someone who was here with me.. when I was laying on the Bed.. In the Coma.. for many days.. there was this One woman who came.. and YOU sat next to me while I was sleeping for a long time.. the Doctor said that I may Not wake UP.. but Only Time will tell but YOU came next to me.. and Would Hold my Hand.. and would come to spend next with me during the long nights.. and that when He.. the doctor comes to check.. YOU would be sleeping next to me holding my hands.. the Doctor looks over.. and sees tears rolling down my eyes.. and I think it is because of YOU I just could not GO.. I wanted to go.. go somewhere far.. but it was Your hands the doctor saw and How YOU kept on coming by my side.. until the Good news came that I was waking UP slowly from this Long sleep of COMA.. that is when the Doctor told me YOU came.. every night.. holding my hands and slept next to me.. and My tears.. I kept on crying because I wanted to GO.. I wanted YOU to let me go BUT your Hands would Not let me go.. Your TOUCH.. your hands which Hold my Hand tight and say YOU can't let me go.. I remember the day my eyes opened.. I was Not sure where I was.. of course it was that Accident.. and I would asked the Doctor.. what had happened to Me.. and How did I get here in this Bed.. the Doctor says.. it was a hit and run.. but I survived that crash which could of ended my life.. someone was drunk and hit the Car.. and He ran with his car.. and the Doctor showed me the Picture of my car which was crushed into pieces.. and I know that I have an Angel who was On my side.. that Night.. YOU came after the Police saw Your Picture on the Phone.. YOU were on the front of the screen.. and the doctor tells YOU the News.. that a big damage to my Head caused me to Loss some memories.. Maybe never I will remember YOU.. after I heard this from the Doctor showing me the picture of my Brain damage.. I cried.. I won't remember the Angel who was standing next to Me.. Holding my Hands when I was laying asleep.. I can this Happen to Me.. How can this One accident causes so much Pain in my Heart.. I want to remember YOU.. and I remember looking at the Phone.. which the Doctor gave to Me.. the front cover of the screen.. Your Picture was there and I would take a Look.. and I would say.. I don't remember YOU.. who is this person.. and It broke my Heart.. But has to be someone very special for to be in the cover of the screen.. the Doctor looks at me and tells me.. the One who was holding Your hands when I was asleep in the COMA.. it was YOU my Angel who came.. when I wanted to Go.. It was just too hard to stay alive.. I wanted to rest.. I wanted to go.. But Your Hands.. it was Your Touch.. your Faith that brought me back to where I can breathe Now.. and When I heard this from the Doctor.. I would cry looking at the Picture of YOU.. my Angel.. why can't I remember the Angel who stood by my side.. YOU could of ran too.. Just like I got Hit.. and some one ran.. even when YOU heard that I have this brain damage.. when didn't YOU ran with that.. as I sat there.. listening to the doctor.. which It was HIM who saw all these things.. and wanted to tell me that I have an angel

Situation.. it was YOU who was there.. and I wanted to say.. I love YOU.. even though I may Not remember YOU yet.. I still love YOU because I heard what you have did when I was left alone for the fight of my life in COMA.. as I am in the Second ROOM.. in this New Home.. I am looking at the new Picture I found.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. with a Big SMILE showing me the Peace Sign.. as I would look at the Phone.. I would press the Play to Hear your Voice.. it has been few days since you called me and left me the Voice Message.. I am wondering.. where are YOU at.. YOU told me that YOU are going to be calling me SOON.. if few days has passed by.. can I call YOU.. so I can hear YOUR voice.. I wanted to tell YOU that I love YOU.. SO.. what would you do if I call YOU.. and as I would look at the Empty Vase.. I know that I want to put something.. and I want to show YOU what I put into this Empty Vase.. what should I put so that I can show YOU.. can I put Your Heart inside this Empty Vase.. and I can take a Picture with the Camera on this Phone.. so that I can send it to YOU.. will you let me have Your Heart so that I can Put inside this Empty Vase.. I will show YOU a KISS on the Empty Vase.. my lips pressing on the Vase and Your Heart inside this Vase.. I will take a Picture on the side of it.. to Show YOU.. How much I love YOU by showing YOU that I love Your Heart.. I want your Heart close to me.. as much as my Lips kisses your Heart.. so Please consider.. as I am looking at the Phone.. I would press the Play button and I would hear your Voice again.. and I would sit on the Floor.. putting the Phone Speaker close to my ear to hear Your Voice.. it was a message You left few days ago.. but when Can I hear Your New voice Now.. I want to hear a new message coming from You.. I miss your Voice.. so will you pick up the Phone if I call YOU.. as I would send YOU a text message and I would send it to Your Number.. and I would sit and wait for Your response on the Other side.. and I get a Message.. a written text message back from YOU.. just did Not think you would answer back so quickly.. and I would call.. dial UP your number and let it ring.. few times the ring I would hear.. and I hear Your Voice.. and I would say to YOU.. I been thinking about the Day I woke UP.. waking UP from the Hospital.. and I would hear what the Doctor says to me.. that I wanted to say you are my Angel.. I wish that I can be an angel Like YOU.. so that I can be the One to make YOU smile More.. would you let me be an Angel for just One Day.. of course If you are wondering.. DO I remember YOU.. to be honest.. I am still lost.. Unable to remember YOU.. but I wanted to ask YOU something.. can YOU Please help me to Know YOU.. to find the Memory back of YOU.. will you please show me How to remember so that I can just love YOU the way YOU should be loved.. and I would pause.. and I don't hear any word from YOU.. but I do hear YOU saying.. Yes.. YOU were there at the Hospital and it was YOU who was next to Me.. but of course.. I needed to remember YOU first so that YOU can tell me More.. and it keeps on hurting Me.. it keeps on hurting me because I do want to remember.. I want to know what has happened.. about everything.. But.. if YOU are not going to help me.. How am I suppose to Know.. Please tell me.. please Help me so that I can feel what real Love.. what true Love is all about.. my Heart is beating fast whenever I would listen and hear your Voice.. but I want to love YOU and say it Like I mean it because I know that I do love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU to help me to find the way.. so that I can be in your Heart.. and YOU in my Heart as I remember everything about us.. I am looking at your Picture.. looking at you smiling.. I just wish I can remember this Place.. I am wondering.. who is the One who has taken this Picture.. I know that someone had to stand on the Other side.. and had to look through the lens of the camera.. and just focusing on YOU.. and had to click to take that picture.. as I am in the second room.. looking at the Vase.. the empty Vase.. and looking at your picture.. I wish that It was me.. was it me who was standing on the Other side.. was it really me?? YOU told me that I was with YOU.. and that YOU asking me if I remember any of all these things.. why is it so Hard.. it is so difficult on my part because I want to go back and remember all of these things that has happened.. but the More I am trying to think about YOU.. the more it seems harder to remember these times.. and the Voice.. Your voice I hear when I am talking to you on the Phone.. when YOU call me.. and I would answer.. I am wondering How did I get into this House.. because I just don't remember.. I even saw few people walking in.. the Movers with their truck.. putting all kinds of things into this House.. how did these people got here.. I have so much questions.. but I know that it is you who are putting all these things through.. I am standing in the second room.. looking at your picture.. the only One thing that I can look through.. but I just want to remember YOU.. How did we meet.. How did I fall in love with YOU.. what happened.. I know that YOU told me I got into the car wreck.. could of died in the accident but I guess just the Life that is still in me.. I should be truly thankful to be even alive.. as I am looking at your picture.. I can hear The Phone ringing.. and I see your Picture I have put on the Phone.. and it shows me who is calling me.. as I would pick up the Phone.. putting against my ear to listen to Your Voice.. I wonder.. are you ever going to show UP.. are you going to stop by to visit me.. can you please Help me to remember more about YOU.. because YOU are still a mystery to Me.. I needs to know more.. I needs to ask More.. I want to find out more about YOU.. but.. I know that YOU don't say too much.. why are you being like this to me.. YOU are the one who calls me.. but never say too much.. WHY.. Please tell me what is holding you back to say.. I know that YOU want to say something.. please tell me.. Please tell me because I too have an ear to hear your words.. only if YOU can share and express what is deep in your Heart.. I really wants to know.. and I am looking at another Picture.. this Picture is a Heart.. a red Heart.. why did YOU place this Picture next to Your Picture.. what does this Heart Picture means.. what are you trying to tell me.. Are you telling me that YOU love a Heart.. or trying to tell me that YOU have a Heart.. or are you asking me DO I have a Heart or do I love a Heart.. I must know why.. why put it next to your Picture on the second room.. as I am looking at the two picture on top of the desk.. my hand holding the Phone.. I can hear the breathing.. can I ask YOU something.. WHY is there a picture of A Heart.. who has taken this Picture and why did it be placed in this Desk and I would hear you say.. that I would Love the Heart.. and I am standing here.. with a Question Mark.. that I love a Heart.. does that Means it was me who has taken this Picture.. I know that the first room.. it has a Bed and on the top of the Bed.. I saw a Heart.. it was a pillow Heart.. and It was Me who has taken that picture.. but why can't I remember.. I don't remember taken any picture.. and I would think back.. a little flash back.. I see you sitting on the Top of the Bed.. your arms holding around the Red Heart Pillow.. and I would hear you even tell me the same thing on the Phone.. that one night.. I came into the first room.. and YOU were sitting down on the top of the Bed.. and I would stand and I would watch YOU.. your Arms around the Red Heart.. telling me that YOU love red Heart.. and would smile as you would squeeze it.. and YOU put on the bed next to YOU.. and I would walk closer.. hands holding the camera.. and I would put my eye close to the Lens of the Camera and ZOOM closer.. and snap Shot taking a picture.. and as I put the camera down.. I would turn to look at YOU and I would say.. I want this Heart.. But I want your Heart like this.. can I please have your Heart.. would you please give me YOUR HEART because I truly need it.. I want to have It.. Have your Heart.. and I would see you smile as I would turn to walk away from the first room.. as I am standing still in the Second ROOM.. I am able to get or catch a glimpse.. I think little by little.. things are coming that I am beginning to see something.. Still I can't remember but the little pieces of puzzle like.. I feel like YOU are truly helping me to find YOU back to my Heart.. I know that I loved YOU once that is before the Car accident.. I still can feel inside that I still love YOU.. when YOU are telling me these things on the Phone.. YOU are helping me because without YOU.. How can I know.. it is what YOU know that is bringing things back.. but slowly it is taking a long time.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. only YOU can bring my Heart to be alive.. Only YOU can help me to love YOU once again because I never stopped loving YOU.. as I would turn away.. my Hand holding the Picture of the Heart.. the red Heart.. I would walk out of the second room.. I wonder if I can see Your Heart.. I want to know the color of Your Heart.. would you let me see the color of the Heart.. does it look like this Heart.. the red Heart in the picture.. would you let me see the Color of Your Heart.. because I love this red Heart.. as I would walk out the front door.. it is very cold outside.. and I am standing.. with the Jacket on.. I walk to the front.. LOOKING at the flurry of snows falling from the sky.. and my Hand.. holding the picture of the Red Heart.. I would lift up my arm.. and I can see the Picture.. I lift to see the Red Heart in the Photo.. I want to see your Heart.. I want to touch Your Heart.. I want to know and want to see the color

Waiting for YOU.. when are you going to come.. I don't want to take the picture of the Red Heart because it is only a Pillow that is laying on top of the Bed.. what I truly want now is to look at your real Heart.. to see the color of Your Heart.. to take a picture of Your Heart.. and I want to ask YOU about the Vase.. the empty Vase that is in the second room.. I have all these Questions that Only YOU know.. only the answers you can give.. but I do not want to hear Your Voice.. even though I love hearing your Voice.. I want to see you in Person and to hear from YOU.. so that I can be near YOU.. only if YOU can come.. come visit me.. help me to know what this is all about.. because Only you have the answers I am looking for.. Only if YOU were here.. if you were close by.. and if YOU can come out side.. there are flurry of Snows falling from the sky.. it is so beautiful here.. it is so beautiful because when I see the flurries of Snows falling.. I am thinking of YOU.. wishing that It be YOU who is here and looking at the Picture of the Red Heart.. just imagining that this is You.. I am missing YOU.. only thinking that I wish YOU be here with me.. and looking at your real Heart.. I want to see your real Heart.. love your Real Heart.. can I take a Picture of Your Heart.. so that I don't have to look at this Red Heart anymore.. let me take a peek of Your Heart so that I can love and tell you how much I love you.. as I would walk back into the house.. all I wish is that YOU are here.. all I wish that YOU can be in this House with Me.. helping me to know what I am losing.. because I do not want to lose you.. I know that if I can't get the memories back.. what I am afraid is of losing YOU.. what If you stop calling me.. what if YOU tell me that YOU are moving On.. what if YOU tell me that YOU are tired of waiting for me.. what if YOU tell me Not to love you any more.. that is why I just can't lose YOU.. as I am walking into the first room.. and I stop to turn to look at the Bed.. the Phone on One hand.. and the Picture.. the Red Heart in the Other hand.. I am looking at the Bed.. I see the Red Heart.. it is laying on top of the Bed.. I put the Phone close to my ear.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to see you here.. It be nice to see you sitting on the top of the bed.. I want to see you Holding.. your arms wrapped around the Red Heart.. would you please come and let me take a picture of YOU holding the Red Heart.. I have the picture of YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful with a lovely smile.. I have the picture of the red Heart.. but what I am missing is the picture of YOU holding this Red Heart.. to fill in the missing link.. if YOU can come.. come and visit just for one day.. so that I can take this one Picture of YOU.. I want to take that picture.. your arms around.. holding and squeezing this Red Heart.. and What I will say.. DO I love YOU.. the More you can hold your arms around the Heart.. the red Heart.. I will say that I do Love YOU.. please squeeze my Heart.. Please Hold My Heart.. if you don't.. then I am going to be the one to hold and squeeze your Heart and I will tell your Heart.. please love Me.. Please can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. Please just love me.. love my Heart so that I can tell your Heart.. that I love YOU.. Now I am missing YOU.. missing this One picture.. YOU are holding the Red Heart.. only YOU can hold it while I take the picture of YOU holding it.. Please.. tell me.. give me a clue.. give me a Hint.. and I would put the picture face down on top of the desk.. I open the door.. comes into the House.. I see large boxes.. two Large boxes enter the first room.. and another two Large Boxes places in the second room.. I see couch.. I see tables chairs.. More boxes comes into the Log Cabin home.. on the Diner room and the living room.. into the kitchen.. I see the Movers walking in and Out of the home.. as I watch the movers walks.. they enter the truck and it goes.. I would be out side.. it feels so good when it is cold.. with my jacket.. I am standing out.. I watch the SUN goes down.. still the SNOW on the ground and I am looking UP to the Sky.. Night Comes and I am looking at the Moon.. I don't know why I think of YOU the most.. especially when I see the Night.. when I look at the MOON.. I start to think of YOU.. do I miss YOU.. I am thinking right Now.. Do you think that I miss YOU.. if you ask Me this question.. standing Out here in the cold.. watching the SUN setting.. as the Wind starts to blow.. the wind chill makes me shiver.. that is how I feel when I think of you.. I get these cold chills.. sending shivers down my spine because I do miss YOU.. feels like when I walk Out.. and I look Up at the Sky.. looking at the MOON.. it is how I feel when I miss YOU.. that I want to see that MOON because I know that down in my Heart.. I think of you the most when I do see that MOON.. do I smile.. I want to smile.. because all I do is smile when I know that YOU are in my Heart.. that you are IN MY MIND and in my soul.. just can't stop think of YOU.. I would look at that MOON.. I am trying to think of the past.. when was the last time I seen YOU.. that I do miss YOU.. I miss YOU more and more.. as I turn to the direction.. I am looking at the door of this Cabin Log Home.. my hand grabs on the door knob and I am wondering.. I have lost my memory.. but I want to know.. I want to know how much did I loved YOU.. YOU would not tell me how much.. if YOU knew me before I lost my memory.. would you not tell me because I asked YOU.. I asked you on the Phone.. How much did I love YOU.. I would wait for your answer.. I just don't remember because I do want to remember.. I asked YOU.. but why can't YOU answer me.. YOU told me that I did Love YOU.. I asked you the question.. DID I love YOU?? there was a short paused.. and a breathing I heard.. I asked YOU the second time.. DID I love YOU?? Please tell me that I loved YOU well.. did I love YOU the way YOU should be loved.. I wanted to know.. I kept on pressing to ask and asking YOU.. I was holding onto the phone.. just waiting for YOU to answer.. there was a short pause and I heard you telling me.. I did love YOU.. and I do remember I just could not say another word.. My Heart.. for some reason it started to Beat faster.. Like I would be running and slowing down trying to catch my breathe and when I stop for a break.. My Heart would beat as like the beat ran faster.. that is HOW My Heart felt when I heard YOU telling me that I did Love YOU.. of course I want to love YOU.. I want to keep on loving YOU.. and I asked again.. How much did I love YOU.. can YOU please tell me.. if YOU answered the first question.. I know for sure you can answer this One.. Please tell me so that I can hear my Heart beat faster when YOU give me the answer.. I heard YOU not say a word.. but why.. YOU told me that I did love YOU.. why couldn't you tell me More.. I want to know.. if YOU can remind me.. maybe I can know.. maybe my memories can come back to Me because I did hear my Heart beat faster when YOU answered the first question.. I really Really want to know.. as I am standing by the door.. MY Hand grab hold unto the Door Knob.. ALL I need to do is turn it and open the door.. I can go into this Log Cabin House.. this New Home that I brought.. before the Movers came.. I do remember One large Box came before the Movers brought many boxes.. smaller and larger into this New Home.. One Large box.. I placed into the ROOM.. the first room.. I do remember opening the top of the Box.. I saw a Picture frame.. it was YOU inside the picture frame.. YOU were sitting on the Couch that just came into this New Home.. I don't remember YOU sitting on that couch.. but YOU were holding the vase.. placing on top of YOUR Lap.. the same Vase that was in the Second room.. but there was a Stem of a Flower.. YOU were smiling and I looked at it.. I don't remember any of it but tears.. there were two lines of tears falling down from my eyes.. as I would look at the picture frame.. inside the picture of YOU siting on the Couch.. I felt so sad because I.. I want to know when was this taken.. I want to know who has taken this Picture.. was it me who was holding the camera.. It must be me because I do know that I loved YOU.. and if that couch came as the Movers brought them into this New Home.. it must been a previous time.. which Home.. whose apartment.. if that Couch belongs to me.. then was it at the old apartment.. was it at a Home.. I just can't remember.. Please help me to remember where and when.. from WHO.. I know that it must be me.. because this One Large Box came yesterday night.. and I brought it into the First ROOM and I opened it to see.. So I know that it belongs to me.. I started to cry when I saw the Picture Frame.. My Heart was shattered because I want to remember.. I want to know when and where it happened.. I know that It was me who took this picture.. why would the Picture frame with YOUR Picture comes inside this Box.. but who had this is the Question on my mind.. was this Box with YOU.. are you the one who send this Box to me so that I can remember.. I did Not want to call YOU.. I knew that YOU wanted to know something but right Now.. I just can't tell YOU because I don't remember.. as I would reach.. my Hands grab onto the Picture Frame.. I am looking at it.. my tears kept running down my cheeks.. I want to remember.. I want to know.. But I do not want to tell YOU anything because if I don't know.. the way My Heart is breaking right Now.. you can feel the say way too.. I looked at the Phone.. I wanted to dial.. but I told myself I am not going to call YOU.. if I don't remember and has NO answers.. I just can't.. if Tears are flowing down my eyes.. I don't want to imagine Your eyes with tears.. If I loved YOU and My Heart still loves YOU.. I just don't want to hurt YOU.. I rather be the one

MAH MAH.. I am standing in the training camp.. and I see you coming over from the Fence.. the Big Crown on the Top of your Head.. and the White Dress.. as I see you walk alone.. YOU take my breathe away.. and I can feel my Heart beating so fast.. and as YOU come to meet me in the Center of the training camp.. the New Recruits.. over 200 men are standing by.. as YOU stop.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I am standing looking at YOU as I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I do not need this any more.. but Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have to always remember that when you were Never around.. this was the Only THING that Held my Heart because whenever I missed YOU.. this was the Only thing that helped me through the way.. When I was left alone for a Long time.. this was the Only thing.. it may Not be anything special to YOU.. It may not be any of the importance to YOU.. YOU may just look at it as a paper.. that someone drew long ago.. and it may only seems like the past piece of Art.. but to Me.. it has many memories of loving YOU.. many Memories of Looking UP at the Moon.. standing Alone in the Nights.. there was SUN.. but also there was the MOON.. there was a time when Winter came by and it be very cold outside.. when times I saw the falling of the rain.. when I lost my Father.. and I felt my Heart broke all the way.. when I could Not see YOU and even the BOY who drew this Picture.. How he had to sneak into the Palace gates and How from the Far he drew YOU.. who got caught and arrested.. He was beaten and Put to death.. telling me that this is for me and knowing that HE wishes that My Dreams came true and that ALL this did Not mean Nothing to Me as he died by the Sword.. Even the Older MAN.. who was the teacher in my Life saw this Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU who knew WHO you are.. but told me to GO.. and to Protect YOU and to defend the Nation which it belongs to YOU and this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU was the main reason WHY I could go On.. when I was at the Garden.. and I saw YOU there for the first TIME.. I wanted that Boy to draw.. of course I knew it be just too late to call HIM.. when I saw YOU by the gates of the Garden and I walked Out and saw YOU.. I wanted to ask YOU.. Can you Please draw another or Give me another Picture from the Art Sketch.. but.. when YOU left.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Day you left the Garden is when I knew the Only thing I had was this.. and my arms would lift as my hands are Holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. it was only this I had because I knew.. I was Not sure if I could ever see YOU again.. when I would see YOU again was my thoughts.. going UP the Hill and standing by the tree below was the Garden and Across I would see the palace.. and Knowing that is the Place where YOU at.. I wanted to Go.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. but what if I am NOT ALLOWED to get in and be put into the Prison instead.. But.. I made UP my mind.. I can die tomorrow and I will say I love YOU.. I can die the few days Later.. as Long there is still a Breathe IN me.. I know I can still Believe in Loving YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. and I do remember leaving the Garden after I made UP my Mind.. in the Snow walking and knowing How cold it was.. and knowing I could die A lot sooner.. I felt the Last Push of my body as I kept on walking through the SNOW.. I was thinking of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am not sure How much More I have in Me.. But I will still try to go to YOU and I kept on walking in the Snow and I felt my body.. it could NOT go no more and I fell down in the Snow.. I kept on thinking of YOU until the last breathe saying I am so sorry I might Not make It.. As I was on the Guard.. watching the Post at Night.. and How I became the Palace guard guarding the back gates.. I do remember pulling the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and LOOKING.. I been needing to LOOK.. thinking of YOU.. saying to this Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. YOU may not hear my voice be telling YOU but I say it as I look at YOU.. that I love YOU.. do you know How much I love YOU and I would hold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture close to my Heart.. to my Chest.. I wish that I be holding YOU instead but.. it be this paper instead.. someone telling me that Behind me is the Chamber of Your ROOM.. and I remember I turn back to LOOK.. I saw YOU.. looking Out from the patio of the Chamber of Your ROOM.. the MOON was Out.. I would LOOK UP at.. I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU see me.. I am here and it has been such a Long time coming.. and Now.. I know that I do Not need this Piece of Paper.. the Art Sketch paper any more.. I want to see YOU take this from Me.. Now I am here close to YOU.. I told the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. Once I meet YOU.. I can Now send it away and give it to YOU because it belongs to YOU.. it has come to the right Person WHO I love the Most.. so Please take this from Me because I am giving YOU my Heart.. My Heart is in it because it is YOU who I never forgotten.. and I see YOU LOOKING at me.. as I am on two Knees.. My Head is Looking on the floor.. my arms raise with the Paper.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. Please take this From me because I don't need it any more.. why do I need it when I see YOU here.. there is NO POINT for me to have because it is YOU.. I see your hands take the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and my tears.. it starts to flow Out of both eyes of me.. I can finally let that Piece of Paper GO and allow the Boy to finally rest in Piece.. the Seven Friends of Mine would walk together and they would all stand Behind.. the two Knees and Heads look on the floor.. arms straight Out.. and I see YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Now One of the Guards comes and has a Torch in the Hand and Gives to YOU.. and I see YOU Burn it with the Fire and It becomes the Ashes before my eyes.. I just can't believe It.. and as I see YOU looking down.. I see you with a SMILE.. and I smile back because it means everything to Me.. YOU are truly everything to Me.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH means everything to me.. and I hear something.. I hear foot steps walking.. and I see you Crown Princess turn Around and Comes.. the 2nd Rank General is coming.. and there is Seven Other Lower Generals walking behind Him and the Eight stops next to YOU.. the 2nd RANK General with the seven generals all goes to the two Knees.. Heads all lowers looking to the floor.. Arms come out straight forward.. and I see YOU LOOKING at HIM.. pulling Out your Sword.. the 2nd Rank General speaks to YOU and it is about Me.. and How he knows me.. He has beaten me before.. and Now.. wants to fight me.. and YOU would turn to LOOK at me.. and Point the sword at Me.. I lift UP my Head and I look over.. and I DO remember.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I will accept the Challenge.. and I see YOU walk back and as I am looking at the 2nd Rank General.. I remember when I first Came to the training Camp.. when He just became the General.. and I just got into the camp.. as I would stand UP.. the Seven of my Friends all stood behind Me.. and the 2nd Rank General Stands UP.. and the Seven of the Lower rank Generals all stands UP.. and I would look at HIM.. and I would PULL out the sword.. and I knew that He beat me Once.. and I would say.. YOU did WIN last time.. but this TIME.. it be very Different.. and I would turn to LOOK at YOU.. and I raise UP my arm and the Seven Friends all would back way.. and the 2nd Rank General PULLS out his Sword.. but this time.. it is NOT about WIN with the sticks.. it is all about the Sword.. DO or DIE.. and I would run.. holding with the Sword in my hand and I jump into air and I would swing my arm holding the Sword and jump up again shouting louder and swinging the arm with the sword in my Hand.. as I am In the Line.. the Guard at the Table looks and YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just can't believe that it is YOU.. and as YOU stand by the table.. YOU look at the two Letters.. one is the Official Seal with a Stamp of the Name of the OLDER MAN.. the Commander of the King.. PEH HA.. and the Other is the written Letter from Me giving to YOU through the years what I had to deal to get to YOU.. and I see you reading the Letter.. the New Friend was with me and He also gives the Official Seal with the stamp of his Father.. the Commander and I am holding the Sword of my Grand father and the Friend is holding His Father's sword and YOU look at the two swords and YOU look at the Guard to let us inside.. and I just cannot believe it.. it has been this Long.. and Now I am here.. I am at the Camp.. this training camp Only the YOUNG NEW RECRUITS can pass the exam of the military Arts.. but by the seal.. the official Seal and stamp.. and I would fall.. both on my two knees.. with the New Friend.. both on the two Knees.. heads are looking on the ground.. and arms straight forward.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we are here.. have made it to the Camp.. I thought I had to wait another Year.. but even Next year would be NO Promise.. since the Line is so Long.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say thank YOU.. and I see YOU stand.. in your hands are the Official Seals and stamps.. as YOU would pull out the sword and Point to me.. I would lift UP my Head and I turn to LOOK at YOU and I would say.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why did YOU not come to the Garden.. DO you know that I been waiting

MAH MAH.. Place.. I saw a WHOLE NEW WORLD because it was YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who rescued the Broken and Lost.. the Poor people and has rebuild everything into something New.. I saw re building of the Garden.. I wanted to see YOU.. Crown Princess.. I wanted to see YOU.. I would wonder.. where is the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. without YOU it would never been re build at that Garden.. Lives changed because YOU came.. sick people became healthy and they started to eat well.. Planters and farmers came together.. giving a New Life of meaning to Live.. I sat.. and I was looking for YOU.. But YOU never came.. because YOU did Not come back to the Garden.. and I wanted to say something., say thank YOU.. but YOU never came that is NOW I have come.. NOW I have come to protect YOU and to defend YOU.. LOOK at the Official Seal.. and LOOK at the Stamp on the Paper I gave YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Older MAN.. the Teacher who taught me for Many Years.. He told me that He fought for this Nation.. with My Grand father.. together as Brothers At War.. they both joined hands together and has protected your Father.. the KING PEH HA.. He is the One who taught me through these years of the Art of Swordsmanship and to shoot arrows and TOLD me stories of the Battles He had to face.. many died by the Sword of His with my Grand father's sword too.. protecting this NATION and to protect.. the Teacher knows that I loved YOU.. I showed HIM the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I showed him that Picture.. drawing picture and that I wanted to be the ONE to protect YOU and to defend the Nation.. and the Older man.. the Teacher started to show Me how to WIN the Battles of the War because He has experienced and has passed DOWN the Knowledge and the experiences to me with his Son.. Now I came here for this very reason.. TO protect YOU and to defend the Nation and to tell YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS how much I love YOU..I want to see you Success.. My Heart as the Loyal Slave.. as the Servant.. as the Low Born which My Father was the Head of the Servant.. as I am sitting in the Small room.. the Older Man.. the Teacher gave me a small table and I am with a Paper.. with the Ink I would write to the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. I have been living in this Place.. the Older man who has become my Teacher has told me that He wanted me as the Son.. so I have become his adopted Son.. and He has been teaching me for Years.. and I would be looking at the Pen Brush and dip into the Ink Pot.. I have never stopped dreaming of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I have been practicing the Art of Swordsmanship.. and Also the Archer Shooting.. the Older man who has become the Teacher.. He would spend Hours helping me to learn this Military Arts and has told me to write a Letter to the Crown Princess.. so I am about to leave this Place with the Official Letter which was sealed with his Stamp allowing me to step Out and go forward.. telling me that through the Years.. He has watched me grow my skills of the Art of swordsmanship and the practice tactic of the Military Arts and with this Official Letter seal that I am able to pass over and go into the Training Camp without going into the training ground.. He has revealed to me that He was an EX COMMANDER for the King.. he was at the Most Highest Place in the ranking of the Office in the Palace and showed me the sword of which He has won many Battles for YOUR FATHER the KING PEH HA.. I was shocked when I found this Out because He showed me the Sword.. which he took many lives and He knew my Grand father who was also the Chief General.. who also became the Commander and was Brothers in War and together they led many Victories in the Battles when Enemies rose against the Nation.. the Teacher told me.. the Older Man who is my teacher told me that I must Protect YOU.. and also Needed to defend because HE remembers you.. He knows my father who was the Head servant and saw YOU when YOU were Young with my Grandfather and knew.. Later down the Line.. Both would say.. the COMMANDERS would say YOU are going to rule.. that YOU are going to be the Head of the Nation.. that YOU are the next in Line to be at the RULING SPOT.. that YOU are going to be the QUEEN KING.. the Ruler who rules it all.. and when the Older man.. the Teacher saw me with the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of YOU.. he looked at me and asked.. and I told the Teacher.. the Older man who you are.. I told Him.. I love YOU.. and that the reason why I am here.. and that the reason why I am going to you has never changed in my heart but keeps Loving YOU.. the Older man.. the teacher said to me.. CROWN PRINCESS right.. I told him.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I sat next to HIM and told him the story of How I saw YOU.. where I met YOU.. and it was at the Garden.. and how you came to visit the Garden One Night.. I already had Your Picture then.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I heard the men servants walking.. with the Many Foot soldiers.. the Special Body Guards and the Guards who all came that night.. I heard a Voice.. I was in the Garden Looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and I heard a Noise.. a shouting and there was a gate I would open to LOOK.. sitting on the Horse.. YOU were wearing a White Dress.. I was holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. but did Not know that it was YOU.. the MEN Servants looks at me.. the Crown Princess.. and I just could not believe.. from the Palace.. who is going to rule and be the Head over the Nation.. I am at the Most Lowest Place.. the SON of the Head servant.. and I fell down on my face DOWN and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am so sorry I did not Know who YOU are.. and the Guards rush and fell on fours and Your Legs on the back of a Guards.. the maid servants who came to rush for your hands and helps you to walk.. every one went FACE DOWN to the Ground.. I just could not believe it.. why would you come to this Garden.. it is only for the Poor and the Lowest people who lives here.. why would you care for people who are born into the Most lowest comes to a shabby place.. I felt my Heart.. My Heart started to beat so fast.. and I saw YOU stand and stopped next to me.. the maid servant tells me that I can raise UP.. and I was able to stand before YOU.. YOU are so beautiful.. and One hand I had a Flower.. the Other hand is the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and your eyes were looking at both hands so I would raise it up to show you.. YOU looked at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. the Maid servant looks at me.. and the eyes told me I can be in danger because of this.. and I remember I told YOU this very night.. if I have offended you HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU want me to rip this Art Sketch paper into pieces.. I can do it for YOU.. if you want me to be Locked in Prison and I die for this.. I can die for YOU.. before you make up your Mind to do something please let me share something from my Heart.. I am Not afraid to Die.. I am always ready to die.. I will anyways die either Now or Later but I still will die.. but one thing that I wanted to say.. I been loving YOU for a while Now.. it may not be much to YOU but this is ALL I have to have to Love.. if you want to Lock me UP now.. Please CROWN PRINCESS.. Lock me UP now.. and I saw YOU just looking at me and gave me a smile.. and I remember you wanted me to see the Garden.. and that was the day I would walk next to YOU to give you a tour of this Garden.. which it was to show YOU in the first place.. I told my Father when he was alive that I wanted to do something to this Garden.. and showing my Father the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. that I know that the Crown Princess may stop by one day.. HE looked at me like I am very crazy.. I would beg my father to help me to making this Garden to be a special Place.. what if the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH shows UP.. I believe the Crown Princess will come.. and My Father who was alive at that time laughs at me.. the ROYALITY and the Palace Life.. this is a SHABBY Place.. only for the Poorest People stay here and I would cry before HIM asking HIM.. to Help me to rebuild this Garden.. I know that the Crown Princess.. as I saw YOU with the White Dress.. I would stand with in awe and My lines of tears ran down because YOU did Come.. I just could not believe that It would happen because it just Can't but that Night.. the Night MAH MAH came.. I fell in love with YOU harder because that is when I knew.. you also cared about the poor people.. the Lowest of lives who lives here.. people who has no place to stay or to live.. as the gates OPENED and I would walk with YOU next to me.. the Crown Princess.. I just knew that YOU were so Special.. that YOU were so different because YOU even came here.. the POOR people all came Out.. NO HOMES.. living in straw homes.. people were dirty and smelly.. and I lived with these people.. but when YOU showed UP.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and YOU looked around.. and people all came crying.. and they fell on the Face Down.. MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH and I fell on the Face on the Ground and I started to SOBB.. crying and pouring out from my Heart.. and I was thinking about my Father.. if you came a little earlier.. My Father could of believed Me because he left to another place.. and I just could Not believe to see your Big Heart for these kinds of people.. the Lowly people

MAH MAH.. Friend.. the two of Us got on the Horses and we took Off.. as I am waiting in the Line.. with the new Friend.. He also has a Letter given by His Father.. and I too.. a HORN BLOWS and ALL the Men in the Line all lowers.. two Knees.. Heads lower and the Arm straight forward.. the Messenger Shouts Out Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH is coming.. and I stood there.. My Heart starts to Beat faster after I heard you came Out.. and I saw YOU from the Distance.. and I went on both knees.. Head down and Arm straight forward.. I just can't believe.. thinking of the Older man.. the Teacher.. who taught me everything.. swinging swords and defending.. and when I told the past story of How you came to the garden to the Poorest People living in the Garden.. and he started to cry.. That is why YOU are going to RULE the Nation.. that is why YOU are going to be the NeXT BIG RULER.. because YOU love and care for the people.. and my tears started to fall hitting on the Ground.. I saw YOU walking down.. from the distance.. and How much I missed YOU.. and it was so Long since the last when we were young.. I remember at the Garden.. you saw the People.. POOR children walking and YOU looked around and people gathered around YOU.. sick people came too.. and I heard you telling.. to rebuild this Garden.. and I stood.. face down to the ground and kept on crying.. and Now.. I know the true reason why I loved YOU and still loving YOU keeps on growing stronger each day passes by.. it is because YOU care and love.. even the broken people.. even a LOW person like myself.. I.. my Words are so speechless Now.. My Words can't come Out right now.. and I lifted UP my Head and I looked straight.. there is guard siting at the Table.. who is telling the MEN to go.. that it is finished.. and has to wait for the Next Year around.. as I am looking at the Two Letters.. and the Friend who is with me.. My Heart breaks.. I really wanted to see YOU Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I really wanted to tell you who I am.. the boy you saw at the Garden.. I have grown Now and came to protect and to defend YOU.. NOW I must have to go back and wait another year.. and as I would turn to walk away.. a Guard runs and stops Me with the friend.. and I would show the Guard the Official Stamp Letter.. the Seal from the COMMANDER who was the CHIEF in the military Arts.. and the Guard just could not believe the seal.. and He ran with the Official Seals.. and YOU were standing by the table.. and the Guard shows YOU.. the Letter and the Official Letter seal.. and YOU do know this Commander.. He was at the TOP of his TIME.. who was protecting YOUR FATHER the KING.. PEH HA.. the Guard comes to get me and the friend.. and We both would walk behind the Guard.. and I lifted UP my Head and I see YOU there.. I see you standing and waiting by the table.. and I started to cry.. showing YOU the JOY and the sorrows and It has been such a Long time.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. you are so Beautiful.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending

MAH MAH.. Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand is the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I don't have anything.. I have Nothing really.. But I do have this Heart.. a Heart who never seems to stop but Keeps On loving YOU and I am going to go to YOU.. I will be close to YOU and show YOU.. I am a MAN with a real Words who will do what I will say because I love YOU.. and as I hold the Letter.. there is a servant who belongs to the Older man.. the Master and he became my friend.. and that He too wanted to go to the palace life.. just to protect and the defend for YOU.. as I am looking at the SUN rising UP.. watching the New Recruits of Young Men.. I see YOU sitting on the Horse.. on the White Dress.. but this Time.. YOU have came Off from Sitting and I see YOU walking.. with the Big Crown on top of your Head.. and I turn to LOOK.. with the Seven men.. the friends of Mine.. we turn to face YOU.. and I would say.. SALUTE.. and all of the Men.. even the New Recruits.. More who even joined into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with

MAH MAH.. Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am looking at the Moon.. I just wish that YOU know my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that I can't go with you right Now.. Because I want YOU to be at the Seat.. to be at Your Throne.. to Rule over and to take the seat that belongs to YOU.. and I am standing by the tree.. on the Hill side top.. looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining across the sky.. MAH MAH.. I remember when I first stood here.. running UP the Hill when I was a Young Boy.. My Father was standing next to the tree.. and I would yell out loud.. and my Father smiling looking at me Running UP to him.. and I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would show my Father.. and He looks at YOU.. that is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. after My Father passed away.. I remember walking UP the Hill side.. and I would stand next to this Tree.. and I am holding unto the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would turn too look.. I can see the Palace.. It seems so Far away.. and I would be looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining above me.. and that Moon.. it has never seems to change.. it would appear the same way as being a Young Boy.. But I still had hopes and dreams.. that One day I am going to see YOU.. that One day I am going to hold your hands and to stand by this Tree.. the same tree I would run up and down.. many broken hearts.. broken tears I would cry.. I would be shouting Loud.. Looking across.. Looking at the Palace.. WHY did you have to come into my Heart MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why do you have to live In my Heart.. it hurts because I love YOU.. I know that I should be more happier than ever to Love YOU.. but instead.. many nights I would shed these tears.. feeling so Lost.. feeling so lonely and just to be loved.. Will the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. will you ever see my through.. would you ever see my Heart.. can YOU feel the Heart.. the One Heart that I have kept inside which weeps most of the time.. missing YOU.. wanting to be close.. to get close.. to Love YOU.. to held YOU in my arms and to tell YOU.. whisper in your Ears How much I love YOU.. and I would watch the Night.. wondering can My voice ever be heard.. I don't care.. as long as YOU can hear me.. if I tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you want to hear my words.. my voice of telling YOU.. I can tell YOU thousand times.. but will you want to hear it over and over and over again if I tell YOU that for Me.. it is the greatest pleasure to tell YOU from My Heart because I know deep within me I love YOU.. I would even stand by this tree.. when I saw the dark clouds gathered.. I can hear the roaring of the Thunder knowing that it is going to send rain.. showers and heavy rain down on me.. I would watch and wait.. as I feel the wind changing towards me and I start to see the rain drops.. falling from the Sky.. I would be standing by this tree.. Looking across.. looking at the Palace wondering.. If I go to YOU.. will you open your arms out to me.. will you tell me MAH MAH.. I am able to come to YOU.. will you allow me to step into that Palace.. and I would be wondering.. How do I get to that place from where I am standing.. I want to Go.. I want to run to YOU.. I want to be where YOU at.. If I go.. will you accept Me.. will I be invited to stand close to YOU.. and I would start to watch the rain fall.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I remember it was after I saw YOU coming to the Garden

I open the back Door of the Work shop.. and the Garden is here.. I wish that YOU were here so that I can show you something.. something that I been wanting to show YOU.. started to rebuild this Garden just to tell YOU.. just to show YOU my Heart.. Do you remember how much YOU loved Flowers.. YOU are the One who gave me the Dream to work in this Flower Shop.. telling me that when we were Once Young.. back in the Orphan Home.. I came to YOU.. and it was after a time being.. and YOU showed me this Art Piece of paper.. and I remember.. your Both Parents as the Missionaries.. children would RUN.. they would hear from the Lady who owned the House.. with many Little Children who came from Broken Homes.. having NO parents.. having NO ONE who can Love them.. but It was both Your parents who came and spend the Time with these Children.. I would ask for YOU when YOU did Not come.. I heard from your Father says.. YOU have a Big Dreams.. and that YOU are so Busy with daily Life trying to Accomplish the many Big Dreams YOU had.. and One was painting.. How you love to draw and add colors to the Picture YOU drew.. and after a Long time of NOT showing UP.. I guess YOU finally showed UP.. many Months went By.. I do remember sitting by myself.. Out side.. and did Not want to talk to Any One.. I just did Not want to fit in with any one.. I heard the Foot steps walking towards Me.. and stops.. When I lifted UP my Head.. I see YOU.. but WHY did it take YOU so Long to come visit Me.. I would ask.. Your Father.. I would ask.. Your Mother.. why don't you ever Come.. is it because YOU did Not want to see Me.. your Parents be saying the same thing.. YOU are always Busy.. and Now YOU show UP.. when I am down and feel so alone.. WHY did you come to Hurt me.. I would LOOK at YOU with a Smile.. and YOU sat down next to me.. and YOU told me.. YOU been painting.. going into the Art Classes.. learning the Oil Painting.. and I am over here.. feel so Sad.. it must feel so Good to have great Parents who can Help you with Your Future.. but Look at me.. I have NO future.. a broken Heart.. NO family.. no parents who loves Me.. and YOU turn and tells me to Hush UP.. and YOU showed me something.. and told me to take a Look of your Piece of Art.. I am wondering.. and It is so beautiful.. Just Like YOU.. this Flower.. so Beautiful.. and YOU gave me this Piece of Art and you gave me a Smile.. NOW.. I am wondering.. WHY did you give me this Form of Art.. what is it that I do with this.. Just to look at this Piece of Paper with a Flower on it.. and YOU smiled.. and told me to be More Creative with it.. and to Open my Mind and Heart.. something will come Alive.. and as I watch YOU smile and YOU waved your hands at me.. both parents next to YOU as they wanted to go Home.. I stood UP.. and I waved back at YOU.. WHEN will I see YOU again.. is it going to be another year.. maybe even much Later HUH.. and I would look at YOU as YOU go in the back of the Car.. and I see Your parents goes into the car and the Car starts to drive away.. and I start to run.. chasing after the Car and I see you turn to LOOK back of the window and My tears were falling out of my Eyes.. what If I keep on missing YOU.. what if this Piece of Art does Not heal my Heart and I would see the Car NO more.. and I stop.. crying.. wiping my tears.. and I turn the Other way.. and I am Looking at this Piece of Art.. the Flower YOU painted.. and what is the name of this Flower.. and where can I find this Kind of Flower.. is it possible for me to get this Kind of Flower.. I mean.. what if I start to sell this Kind of Flower.. will you come.. will you show UP and see and I would lift UP the Piece of Art.. the Flower Painting.. and I would stand and think about what YOU said.. to Open my Mind.. and to Open my Heart.. to think and dreams.. and do WHAT.. I stood still.. do What.. and I would walk slowly to the Orphan Home.. just thinking about what I should do.. be Creative.. and I would walk into the House asking myself.. do what.. as I am on the Back of the Work Shop.. in my hand is the Piece of Art.. the Flower painting YOU gave me when I was YOUNG.. and I am looking at this Small bed.. and I see Flowers growing on this Bed of ground.. and I would lower my self.. LOOKING at the Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting and I would look at these Live Flowers in the Bed of the Ground.. It has been a long ways of Coming.. and I am waiting for the Flowers to grow and mature to the Full Bloom.. adult Flowers.. and I would stare at these flowers.. and I see the Forms and I am seeing the Shape.. it is becoming More Like the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings I am holding in my hands.. YOU told Me.. When I was sitting Down Alone.. and I felt like NO ONE else cared about Me.. I heard the Foot steps walking.. and stopped in front of Me.. when I lifted UP my Head.. my eyes.. I was truly Amazed of HOW Beautiful.. so Lovely in form.. my eyes met Your eyes and I wanted to tell YOU.. which left me speechless to share at that Moment.. I wanted to tell YOU and say to YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. so Amazingly Beautiful.. My words.. my Lips.. my mouth just could Not speak the Language to tell YOU what My Heart was feeling at that Moment but I was truly Blown away.. like this Piece of Art.. so Beautiful.. like this Flower Painting.. YOU are so Beautiful.. what More Words can I say to YOU that Night when my eyes met YOURS.. it seemed like YOU were never going to show UP.. but when YOU did Come from Nowhere.. I couldn't be angry any more.. I couldn't tell YOU I been waiting for YOU all this time because it was like this Painting of the Flower.. AMUSE and AMAZING to me.. I never thought that YOU would share.. I only thought you were just going to tell me YOU were going to leave again.. But it was that Night.. when YOU stood and YOU sat next to me.. and YOU opened my eyes.. and Opened my heart telling me to be More creative with myself.. I never knew what that meant.. what does it means to be More creative.. but when YOU start to Love in your Heart.. when I started to Love YOU more.. just Out of nowhere things came into my Mind and into my Heart.. just Like that NIGHT.. YOU showed me.. the value what it means to be More Creative with YOURSELF.. YOU showed me a Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting.. I sat down confused.. did Not know what I am suppose to do with this Piece of Art.. am I suppose to eat this Piece of Art.. it is a Piece of Paper but when YOUR MIND and HEART.. and YOU open it with being with creative and YOU showed me that It starts with the true Meaning of Love.. teaching Me how to love YOU.. AM I getting good.. am I getting better with It because I really Love YOU.. I remember when YOU told me that YOU had Big Dreams and it made me Sad because I started to feel sorry for myself.. because I could Not dream.. I was at the MOST lowest Place.. started to think about the Situation but YOU have made me believe again and it started with Loving YOU.. maybe YOU felt that Night.. that I been asking for YOU.. when Your Both parents came.. and I would Open the Door.. I see the Car outside.. and I am so excited they came because I knew if they Came.. you could also come TOO.. but I would watch through the Window.. there was NO sign of YOU there with them.. I would be at the Door.. and Opened for your Father to walk in.. I felt so Little and so Small because Your Father is such a Great MAN of God.. who loves Us the Children and came to serve and to teach.. and I would be always asking for YOU.. and I knew that I could Not dream when I saw your Father.. the way he looked at me.. but I would still ask.. where are YOU.. where is the Daughter.. but.. always saying YOU are so busy.. it broke my Heart.. I guess your parents notice that we were getting just too close.. when the Days you came with your parents.. YOU would always show me the Different Pictures YOU drew and painted.. all these Flowers YOU would come.. and told me How long it has taken YOU to drew on the sketch paper.. and had to paint with the Oils.. mixing the Colors and the Mind and Heart of creating something.. Your Eyes would Lid UP when I would look and say.. it is so Beautiful.. this Flower Painting.. can I have this One too.. it is because I believe One day I can sell it.. and I am sure a Buyer will Love it to hang on the Walls to show Off who is the Great Oil Painter.. and I would watch you smile as I would share that.. we would both smile a lot when YOU came.. a BOX.. when YOU open.. all the brushes uses for the Oil Painting.. mirrors and the Note Book.. art sketch paper you would bring to show Me.. and I would sit and stare.. My Heart.. and I guess Your Parents started to notice that we were just too close.. but that very Night.. when YOU came with the Final Piece of Art and YOU Showed Me.. it was your heart that was giving me something.. I know that YOU may think that it may not be Much.. but what matter to me the Most are these little things I cherish in the Memories.. YOUR presences means everything.. your Smile and the Gestures YOU give.. and even when YOU show UP with the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings and YOU would show it to me.. telling me to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. to be More creative.. I did Not know what YOU were talking about.. but it is the Giving of Your Heart which finally got to Me.. I was blinded of receiving just too much that I just did NOT care about the behind of what is happening in those curtain moments but when YOU told me.. the last day.. I knew that It meant something More.. when I saw the real YOU of the giving of your Heart.. it got me by Nowhere because it was the Day.. I saw you in the back of the car and Your Father

It was YOU who I was loving all this TIME.. asking For YOU.. when YOU father stood tall.. looking at me.. I would be asking for YOU first.. I never knew then but when I think of it Now.. it is because I been loving YOU.. just did Not want to show it and say it was true.. but it was on that very night.. when YOU sat next to me.. showing me the Final Piece of Art.. the Flower painting.. even though I thought you would come back soon.. when YOU spoke of the words.. to be more Creative.. to Open my eyes.. My MIND and My Heart.. I would sit that very night in the room.. the children were sleeping in the Beds.. but I could Not sleep that very Night.. I would be sitting on the top of the bed.. just LOOKING at the Final Piece of Art work.. the Flower Painting YOU gave me.. just trying to think about be Open for What.. what Happens when YOU open Your Heart.. and your Mind.. Open your eyes.. what happens next.. what does It means to be more creative.. and that is when I knew.. when YOU start to Love.. it is when YOU can truly show HOW you can express something in your Heart.. In your Mind and Open your eyes and be more creative with It.. as I saw this as I was looking at the Final Piece of Art Work of Yours.. I could Not help it but cried looking at it.. because I knew it my Heart.. this means good BYE right.. it means YOU are Never going to come back to this Orphan Home.. and I would cry in the silent of the NIGHT on the bed.. looking at this Piece of Art work of Yours.. my Heart was touched.. it drove me crazy because NOW I know what it means to Love YOU.. then How can YOU stop.. because YOU can Only Love the One who can truly show YOU how to Love.. or who Knows How to love.. and I wanted to Love YOU more.. if YOU are able to show me something that YOU love the Most.. that Means YOU know How to Love.. I want to love YOU because I know that a person who gives can receives too.. so I want to be the One to give it all now to YOU.. so that YOU can feel how much I love YOU.. that It may Not be too Much.. It may be so Small and simple but I do Love YOU.. How can I let YOU know how much I love YOU since Now YOU showed me that YOU can Love.. let me Love YOU.. as I am Looking at the Garden.. my eyes are filled with Tears.. I ache inside because I want to show YOU.. Not just show YOU but tell YOU.. How can I tell you something if I can't even show it to YOU.. that Is why I have come back to this Work shop.. I am here in the back of the Garden.. there is the back DOOR.. and a bed of Ground.. I am here looking at the Flowers which are growing because YOU have given me something to Love and to dream.. TO BE more Creative.. to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. it is YOU who showed me and taught me HOW to Love and I just want to give it ALL back to YOU by saying I love YOU..I am looking at the door.. as I open the Door.. walking into the Work shop.. the Smell of the Place.. I have missed this place so Much.. but there is One thing that is Missing.. It is YOU.. only if YOU were here with me.. the painting on the wall.. and How all the things have set in and Now ready to Open the shop once again.. but.. when YOU were here with Me.. and how you came.. YOU were going to school.. I remember YOU came to the Work Shop as a Part time.. and wanted to help me.. I remember YOU wanted to be a Doctor.. always had a Big Dream to help people and save many lives and go out on the Mission trips to help the Poor and needy people.. and telling me these things.. I was filled in awe of YOU.. and YOU asked me if I remembered You.. of course it was long ago when I saw YOU as a Young girl.. but it seemed like YOU have never forgotten me.. I remember I would ask of YOU to come and help me at this Work Shop and I was selling Flowers in this Work Shop.. never imagined that I would meet you.. you were grown and more matured going into the University.. to become a Doctor.. as I would hire YOU to work with Me.. YOU asked me.. do I remember this One Picture.. as I would stand on the Other side of the counter.. It was a drawing picture.. and YOU showed me.. and when I got hold.. my both hands grabbed the Art sketch paper and it was a drawing of a Flower.. It made me jump when I saw the drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. and I turn to look back.. and On the wall.. I would look at the same sketch paper and It was drawn by YOU.. and I remember YOU turn to look at the wall.. and I remember YOU would walk closer to the wall and YOU would look at the art sketch paper.. the same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. and I see your hand touch over the paper and YOUR Head turns to look at me and I would tell you.. Yes.. I do remember this Paper.. the Art sketch paper.. YOU gave it to me when YOU were a lot younger.. do YOU NOT remember the time.. and as I would stand alone in this Work Shop.. I am standing and staring at the wall.. the Art Sketch Paper is on the wall still.. the Same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. as I stood in the silent.. the two lines of tears would roll down my eyes.. my hand touch my chest.. It hurts right here.. I wish that YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. that it hurts when I stand here alone.. without YOU here.. it feels like even I can take a look at that Art sketch paper.. watching it here alone.. it Hurts me More because all I needed is YOU.. all I need is YOU to be here but I know that I stand alone right Now.. but I need you here with me right Now.. as I look at the Art sketch paper.. and I would walk closer to the wall.. my hand touch over the Art sketch paper.. I miss YOU.. without YOU I feel like My Heart hurts.. why couldn't YOU cut my chest Open.. why couldn't YOU get rid of My Heart.. Now I feel like I am sick again.. DO I needs to go as a Patient to visit YOU.. but this TIME.. I am Not going to leave alone.. I want to leave with My Heart with YOU.. so that I don't need to feel this Way.. it Hurts.. It hurts me so bad because I am missing YOU right Now.. why did YOU have to come at the Most hardest times of my Life.. why did YOU have to come and Now.. take my smiles away.. as I close both of my eyes.. I would go back as a Young Boy.. I am crying.. sitting on the ground.. receiving a Letter from a relative of Mine.. the Letter speaks about how my family Died in the burning of the fire House.. My family was very poor and they could not take care of me.. as a Relative holding my hand takes me away.. I am crying and crying walking away from the farm House.. My Heart keeps on breaking.. why.. why does My Life has to be so Sad.. why have to be so broken.. now.. I just received a Letter from the same relative who was holding my hand.. taking me away and telling me I am Now an Orphan Boy.. as I read the Letter.. I learned how to read from the Lady who owns this House.. as I was sitting.. I hear foot steps walking.. and it stops.. as I lifted UP to take a LOOK.. YOU are so Beautiful.. in a red dress.. in a red shoes.. I see YOU stand there.. and YOU would sit right next to Me.. why did YOU have to come at this Point.. I was reading a Letter.. which It broken me down into tears.. having NO more family.. being abandoned and Broke.. having NO future.. I see YOU coming Out of No where.. but Like an Angel YOU sat next to Me.. and I remember YOU would be asking why I be crying.. and I would give YOU the Letter.. if you could read.. I give you the permission for YOU to read what the relative wrote to me.. and I would be crying in silent.. as the MOON came Out.. and I can hear YOU breathe hard.. I know.. that is how I felt when I first read the Letter.. My Heart keeps on hurting Me.. It hurts me more because Now I have told YOU a secret that I just never told any one.. I am angry for being taken away.. and how I am abandoned by the family.. I am dirty and poor.. I have NO body to talk too.. and I would hear YOU trying to cheer me UP.. and I wanted to run away.. DID NOT be a part of this Orphan Boy.. but then where would I go if I leave here.. and I do remember at the Moment.. YOU pulled Out something and YOU showed me the Art Sketch Paper.. and YOU be sharing How you are taking an Art class.. and to see your drawing.. as I turn.. My hands grab hold unto and I would look at the Picture of the Art sketch paper.. I would look at the Sun Flower.. finger points WHY this Kind of flower you drew.. I remember you be sharing that is your Most Favorite Flower in the world.. that when YOU feel so sad.. YOU would go to the garden.. and YOU would go see this Flower.. and Hoping that I too can smile once again.. as I would look at this Picture.. I started to cry some More.. it hurts Me.. I have NO more family now.. NO ONE I can call Mother or Father any More.. this Picture.. How can it help me at this Point of my Life when I have lost every thing.. but YOU told me.. that NOW.. I may not see it or understand it.. but later On.. I will get it.. when time heals my Heart.. I will start to love this Flower and will Love once again.. and Yes.. YOU were right.. It did Not take me too long to get back on my feet once again.. I would be looking at this Picture.. wondering.. where can I find this Flower.. where can I go to see this Flower.. for a long time I been thinking about this Flower because I grew to Love it.. why.. because It came from YOU.. YOU remind me of SUN FLOWER so much.. the More YOU think about it.. the More you see it.. YOU grow more into it.. and I would find a Way.. to make a Mission to search about this Flower.. and I would start.. as I am standing alone.. this Work SHOP.. I would only think about YOU.. I wanted to share how much I love YOU.. and that is why I opened this Work Shop.. dedicating the Flower.. when YOU feel like YOU are dead inside.. the Hope to smile Once more.. Your Courage and How YOU helped me to bounce back.. I wanted

Time.. but when the Door opened and YOU came in.. the early years.. I saw YOU.. but of course I did Not recognize YOU at first.. I remember it is when YOU showed me the Drawing.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that It was YOU.. I did Not want YOU to come close to me at first.. because I knew what was in my Heart.. I did Not want you to work with me at first because what if I love YOU more.. I will get hurt because I knew what was in my Heart.. loving YOU is the Most beautiful thing but also it hurts me at the same time.. I have a Broken Heart already.. of losing my family on the Burning of the Farm House.. when YOU stopped visiting me.. I would think.. maybe YOU did Not want to get close to Me.. was it because I gave you the Letter.. was it because I shared you a Letter about the passing of the family.. wasn't it YOU who be asking to see what the Letter was written about.. I only wanted you to know a glimpse so that YOU can at least understand me where I am coming from.. I just did Not get it at first because I wanted you to be close.. that is why I opened UP to you and to show you the side where I would crumble at the Most.. but.. I think I made the mistake of revealing too much of the Downer side what I felt at that Point.. but.. I do remember.. watching YOU looking at the wall.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. I would freeze from the Inside as my eyes saw the Same drawing.. of course I dedicated all my Heart and energy because I loved YOU.. I loved YOU because YOU came at the most hardest and difficult times of my Life.. trying to cheer Me up.. it was so Beautiful.. and so moving at my Heart.. NO ONE has ever down.. to show the care and the tender side which NO ONE wanted to give.. crying alone.. I would be sitting on the bed.. looking at the Drawing.. the Art sketch paper.. the SUN FLOWER.. NO ONE has ever done this for me.. why was it YOU.. why did YOU even care.. and I wanted to give Back to share back.. to let someone who feels like me to smile Once more.. what you gave it something that NO MONEY can buy.. as ALL the Boys were sleeping in One room.. I sat alone.. leaning on the wall.. could NOT sleep that Night.. but kept on looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the SUN FLOWER.. I wanted to know.. what does IT means to love.. I want to love and choose to love instead.. I don't want to be hurt or be hurting Others any more.. and I wanted to have answers of the One Question that was in my Heart.. and It was with this ONE SIMPLE picture but it came from YOUR Heart that answered everything.. as I would look at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that I had to do something.. that One day YOU will know that I love YOU.. maybe not at the Point but some day YOU will know how much I love YOU by sharing what YOU have given Me and what you have done to Me.. as I would look.. the Work Shop.. Looking at the Paper.. the Art sketch.. the drawing of the Sun Flower.. back is the Garden.. and Now.. there are More than Thousand Sun Flowers in the Back.. in the Garden.. ready to be given and ready to be sold.. when YOU came into the Work Shop.. I was blown into pieces because YOU looked a lot like someone who I loved.. but did NOT wanted to ask you if YOU were.. because YOU could of been someone else but NOT YOU.. when YOU shared the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the Sun Flower and I turn to face the Wall.. the same drawing YOU given me when I was a young Boy.. who was hurting.. who just read a Letter of the Lost and dead family.. YOU were like an Angel who gave me Life to live again.. I do remember when YOU asked me if YOU could work here.. I told YOU NO at first.. I did Not want you to come close because I know that something could happen.. I wanted you close deep in my Heart.. but.. I did not want you too close.. I am already Hurt.. I do not want to be hurt again but I did miss YOU so much that My Heart was crying inside.. I did Not want to tell YOU this at all.. because I did Not want to see you go.. I remember YOU told me that YOU will be back.. and I had to let YOU go that day you came.. YOU just do not know how heavy I felt inside.. It broke me down into tears again.. asking myself.. why did I let YOU go like this.. what if YOU will never show UP.. what if I will not see YOU again.. what if I end up dying like this instead.. and I just could not help myself and blamed myself for letting you walk away like this.. what if YOU never come back to me.. and I be dumb like this of letting YOU go when I know deep inside I love YOU.. I was just too afraid to let YOU IN because I loved YOU just too much.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more.. for some reason I would see YOU.. even though YOU were never there.. there would be a Lot of pictures I would put on the walls.. that is before YOU left.. taking many pictures of YOU.. a lots of laugh.. lots of crying but more smiles On my face when YOU were there with Me.. I wanted to go back.. I started to miss you ever since I left because I kept on thinking of YOU.. I would go

Few more times.. and I started to think about YOU at the Work Shop.. what If you would be back.. even though I knew that YOU would never come around.. but I kept on thinking.. YOU could just visit.. but if YOU walked into the Work Shop all Broken and Abandoned.. then I know that YOU will Not come around ever again.. because NO ONE knows what will happen next.. so I started to make a Plan.. to remodel.. and to re build that Building.. just in case One day.. some day soon you can come.. and YOU will know that it has never been broken down.. as I gathered some workers.. spend days.. spend weeks and into the months.. new paintings.. putting UP the fences.. and even started to go back into the garden.. planting new seeds to bring into the life.. after it was all completed.. and the work shop was back on business.. I went in to work again.. of course there was something missing as I started to work in that shop.. it was YOU.. it felt like I cannot never get YOU back.. since you left long ago.. How can I bring YOU back if YOU have already left.. I would look at the wall.. the Wall with Your Pictures.. many of the Pictures I would post to share.. as I would start to look at Your Pictures.. Just memories of YOU came flashing through my Mind.. I knew that if I wanted to continue to run this Business.. I needed to get Rid of My Heart.. I knew that only if My Heart goes.. I can work in this Work Shop without missing YOU so Much.. that is the Only way I knew that I can continue.. that is when I decided to go into the surgery.. that I wanted to let My Heart to go.. I asked for the Best Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon with the Best experience.. of course never thought that It would be YOU walking into this Room.. even though I want YOU to do the Surgery.. I just can't Lose YOU.. after I see YOU now.. and How well YOU are in Life.. I think I just can't let My Heart go.. and I am looking at YOU.. I do need My Heart to be replaced.. but what would happen if I don't love you any More.. I am sure Now you are doing good with another Man.. can YOU still do the Heart surgery.. Now the Person who is going to exchange with my Heart comes into the Room and sits on another Bed.. and I turn to look at the Person.. I just can't believe it.. the Man turns to look at me.. I am not sure if I know this Man but the Man looks at me.. He is the friend who has taken YOU away.. I am wondering.. why is this Man in the same bed.. He wants his Heart to be removed just Like me.. and I am wondering.. I don't want His Heart.. I rather keep My Heart.. He has a Broken Heart too.. and I look at YOU.. I am wondering.. what is going On and Now YOU are telling me.. the relationship has ended on Both.. and that YOU are single.. and I am thinking.. Am I suppose to be happy or suppose to be Sad.. are YOU sad.. is that WHY you have become a Heart Surgeon.. WHO has Not been loving YOU well.. YOU know that If YOU are removing all Kinds of Hearts.. is it because someone has broken YOUR HEART or are you breaking Hearts and switching Hearts to different People.. because I don't want Another Broken Heart.. can I have YOUR HEART instead.. How about YOU can do the surgery on Me and I want to Have YOUR HEART in me so that I can say to YOUR HEART.. I can Love you more than any.. I know that YOU have already Broken Me Heart Once.. I don't need another Broken Heart in Me.. that is why I want Your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART does Not break because YOU fix Hearts.. that is why I loved YOU for a Long time.. as I would pull out the Picture.. and I am Looking at the Picture when YOU were YOUNG.. next to the Picture is the First Letter you wrote me.. and I would open the Letter and I would turn to YOU and I would read it Out loud.. this is what YOU wrote Me.. when I could Not sleep.. when I met YOU the first time.. and I asked for YOUR Picture.. YOU gave me this Picture.. with Your Address in the back asking me.. If I needed a Friend that I can write YOU any time.. so I wrote.. and This is what YOU wrote me and I cried.. as I am looking at YOU.. my tears are flowing down my eyes and I started to read to you with tears rolling down my eyes.. and I would say to YOU.. this was why I started to Love YOU.. you wrote when I was at the Most Lowest of the time of my Life and has fixed this Broken Heart by telling me all of this.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never

Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU.. can we please go back to the Flower Work Shop.. do YOU know that I am still there.. I just could Not move on because I would think about.. what If.. Just in case YOU show UP one day.. what If you come.. what if YOU change your Mind.. what if I come across Your Mind one night.. One Day.. what If you miss Me.. how about if YOU love me.. Not sure why I would think of it that Way but what if you show UP.. I had many chances to leave that Flower work shop.. My friends came.. trying to convince me.. telling me to leave it behind me.. let it be my History.. and I would try to leave that Flower Work Shop.. but always in the back of my Head.. I would be thinking of YOU.. if I do leave.. what if YOU show UP when I do really leave.. then I know that I can't never see YOU again.. I don't want that to ever happen because I miss YOU and I love YOU.. that is why I just can't let it go now.. because I love YOU just too much.. I have been there.. just waiting for the Door to be opened.. for YOU to knock on the door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking

MAH MAH.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending Your Nation I would hit and hit.. the Wooden Sword Stick would break.. because I would hit it very Hard.. the Older man.. the Master would carve another WOODEN SWORD STICK for me.. He is just sitting there being busy Carving all day Long.. I do remember like My Father.. who was watching me.. I would be holding the Bow.. strings I would Pull back.. many times I would pull the strings back and forth.. I would use the Arrow.. the back of the end of the arrows.. I would aim and I would release the strings of the Bow.. it would break.. He would be very busy pulling the Strings into the Bow.. watching me Shoot the Arrows.. many flies to different sides.. I kept On practice shooting.. even my hands be hurting.. Just like Holding this WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I hit many times on the Wooden DUMMY.. But I never gave UP on the Dreams of Loving YOU.. I just can't call it the Quits.. I have come so Far and I am getting closer to YOU.. as the OLDER MAN.. the Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand

MAH MAH.. Into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU..I am looking Across.. Standing by the Gates.. with the three Friends.. as the Back of the Palace Guards.. I am looking at YOU.. and so many people has gathered.. ALL of the TOP Generals.. the Commanders.. the Head servant.. maids.. even the Highest Kitchen Lady.. and ALL of the Special Body Guards.. the servants and I can hear a Great Celebration.. on the Outer Court.. I am watching YOU.. looking through the gate Bars.. I am wondering.. what is going to Happen after this.. WILL I able to still love YOU.. Look at the place I am standing.. and my three friends who are standing next to me sees Me.. I am sad.. My Heart is broken because NOW.. it is so Hard to Love YOU.. of Course I should be the One who should be the Most happiest to support YOU.. I know that it was ME who told YOU to leave.. to GO.. to go back to the Palace because It is the King.. PEH HA is calling.. He wanted to show YOU and give YOU something.. I was so Happy to hear this News.. that something Great was going to Happen.. and I am now Sad.. NOT sad in a Bad way.. I am just so sad because of this Distance.. I want to come Close.. I want to be near YOU.. able to hold Your Hands.. able to be close and to tell YOU at least I miss YOU.. or say I love YOU.. YOU don't have to accept the Words but.. If I were able to get closer to YOU.. at least YOU are able to feel the energy.. able to see me Smile.. but.. NOW.. I feel like only looking at the MOON can be more closer than for me to LOOK at YOU.. I am looking through the Bar Gate.. as I am watching the People.. the Most important People.. even the Prime Minister has come.. also the Queen.. the People all lowers and falls to the Floor.. QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. people all shouts on the floor.. lowering as she walks.. YOUR Mother has come and Me with the three friends all hit the Floor.. even though she can't see us.. knowing that the QUEEN has COME.. there is a Throne Seat.. in the Middle.. but a stage which YOU are on.. and Now the Messenger Shouts Out.. PEH HA!! the King is Coming.. the KING has come.. PEH HA! and all the people shouts Loud.. PEH HA! and me with the three friends shouts together PEH HA! and the King says for the attendants.. all rise UP and every one stands UP on the two feet.. so me and the three Friends all get UP.. the King is on the Outer Court.. and there is stairs.. He looks at YOU.. HE is with tears in his Eyes looking at YOU.. and there is a Big Crown.. and as the King steps UP He tells YOU to sit on the Throne.. and I look.. It can't be.. and He places a Crown ON the TOP of Your Head.. and He looks at YOU.. kisses Your Hand and says.. Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. SOON to Lead.. SOON to take over the Place.. and everyone Falls ON to the Floor.. lowers all.. and Says CROWN PRINCESS.. I am On the Floor.. with the three Friends.. HWANGTAEJABI.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. and every one shouts.. YOU sit there very shock.. but We all knew that IN time YOU will become the TOP RULER for the Nation.. People cheers and shouts Out.. WANGSEJABI.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we honor YOU.. the Commanders comes and they take a Bow to YOU.. kneeling and lower the Heads.. to the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. and Each Man comes to kiss your hand.. few Commanders.. the TOP 1st Chief Generals line UP.. to the 2nd In command of Chief Generals.. to the 3rd in command of Chief Generals.. and the Lower top generals and I am watching.. this is the Most biggest celebration.. very close of becoming the Ruler.. and I am falling looking on the floor.. What am I suppose to DO.. One side of my Heart.. I am truly joyful.. and I am so Happy for YOU.. I knew in time YOU would become the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would feel so happy that Now you are going to be taking over.. even though there is NO crown Prince.. but YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA made that calling.. Knowing that YOU are ready.. I am looking at the King and the Queen.. both lower themselves before YOU.. I am in shock.. It is PEH HA and HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and they made this Happen.. Now.. On the Other side.. I am watching all of these Most important people who works for the King.. they are all going over kissing Your hand.. I see a long Line and I would be on this Position till the Sun Goes Down.. and I see YOU still sitting on that Throne with the Crown TOP of your Head.. as I am hearing foot steps.. and it stops by the gate door bar.. I know someone is coming.. Is it my turn to kiss Your Hand.. If I kiss your hand.. I know that I can't love YOU any more.. what about me.. What about my Heart.. WILL you still let me Love YOU even after I kiss YOUR HAND.. I want to know.. will you let me still come close.. because I told YOU that I did not want to Come.. I knew that THIS would happen.. I told you before.. when We were back at the garden.. up on the Hill side by the tree.. I told YOU to let me stay Alone.. that I did Not want to go with YOU.. that I told my friends to take YOU instead.. because I knew that this is going to happen to Me.. WHY are you making my Heart to Bleed.. WHY don't you just give me a sharp blade knife and cut UP my stomach instead.. it be better if I just die like this.. I told YOU that YOU SHOULD go alone.. and I know that YOU wanted me to see YOU and to join in the celebration.. Yes.. it is the Best day I see.. it is the greatest day I am feeling at One side.. that Now.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. but the next thing I want to know.. what am I suppose to do with my Heart.. I have been loving you for so Long.. I mean it has been such a very long time.. and I began to think.. if it is all about MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI.. the Crown Princess.. YOU becoming the Next Ruler.. I told you that I did not want to come because the Distance is going to push me far away from YOU.. that is why leaving me behind would been a great idea because my eyes seeing YOU Close is good but bad when I can't ever come close to YOU.. DO YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. DO you know that I love you so much that I did decide to join.. decided to see this Celebration.. NOW My heart is breaking inside because I know there will be Distance between US.. but able to see YOU close.. but loving YOU far hurts me far more than FOR me being at the Garden.. on the TOP of the HILL side by the tree been better because at least I don't have to see YOU.. it is the same feeling because of the distance.. it kills me more that I can't love YOU.. it kills me even more that I want to love YOU.. but How.. HOW can I love YOU when YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me How.. I hear the Bar Gates Opening.. and the Messenger is standing there.. telling me to get UP.. and the four of Us all get up.. the Crown Princess is calling is what the Messenger is telling.. the three of the friends started to walk forward.. But I stop.. I am not going to walk over.. I can't kiss YOUR HAND if I can't love YOU.. I rather NOT go and just turn the Other way.. the Messenger stops and turns to look at me.. the Crown Princess is waiting.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH is waiting for YOU.. but I would not make any move.. I can't go.. I don't want to walk over and kiss Your hand

MAH MAH.. Me.. How about my Love.. How about me Loving YOU.. If I can't love YOU now.. I can't love you later.. because it will turn Out to be Never.. that is why I choose to be still here.. How about Me.. tell Me.. give me the answer first.. I rather turn the Other way.. I will go back to the Garden where I belong in the first place.. where I should stayed in the first place.. If this was going to happen.. I do not know why I came all the way down here to cause trouble.. I don't mean to cause any kind of trouble.. because MY true intention is also celebrate.. but IF it ends this Way.. and YOU are forcing me to Kiss Your Hand so that I can't love you any more.. I am telling YOU now I will not.. I will Not kiss YOUR HAND.. so Please.. Let me GO back to the place where I belong.. Maybe I don't belong here any more because NOW.. I have reached a Point.. I can die.. If I can't love YOU.. Please let me go to see my Family.. I can meet them on the Other side.. since I know now I can't love YOU.. and My tears begins to roll down.. YOU know that I am badly hurt right Now.. YOU know that It hurts if I can't love YOU.. it hurts even missing YOU but to stand here for the rest of My life.. just to look at YOU but can't never love YOU.. I can't.. WHY did you even bring me to this Place if YOU knew it was going to end UP like this.. If you would of told me if YOU Knew this was to happen.. I would of chosen to Be at the Garden.. be close to the Buried family members.. I am not trying to start anything.. Not a war.. Not trying to bring any kind of Trouble.. but just telling YOU.. letting YOU know that I should of never come.. YES.. I do love that YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. I am truly happy for YOU.. that YOU are going to be ruling soon.. I already told YOU it was going to happen., of course never thought this SOON though.. BUT it has happened.. If I walk over.. and YOU give me YOUR HAND.. and I kiss that Hand.. that means I can't ever love YOU.. I will not kiss YOUR hand if I just can't.. I rather turn My Head and look up to the Sky and LOOK at the MOON and just talk to that Moon thinking about YOU.. I have been asking the MOON like he be a friend and sharing.. How much I love YOU and how much I been praying to meet YOU and always wishing that I can meet YOU SOON.. that part it has come true.. but I started to fall for YOU.. maybe because It Hurts so Much I started to love YOU.. maybe it was because missing YOU TOO MUCH I started to Love YOU.. but just thinking about YOU.. it made My Heart to Fall in Love with YOU.. because YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. knowing that this was going to happen.. because of THIS.. because YOU are HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. knowing YOU are the Best.. the greatest is why I loved YOU.. ever since I was a young Boy.. I knew that YOU were going to be someone very special.. and NOW I see.. my eyes are seeing.. that because YOU are.. that is why I rather just love YOU and Not kiss YOUR HAND..I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop

MAH MAH.. Coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground..I am looking at YOU.. as YOU are coming closer.. I see you walking and YOU stop.. as I tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. Please do not come closer to Me.. I don't want to kiss YOUR hand.. I just can't.. because YOU know my Heart.. Please.. tell me rather to Leave the Palace.. stripe away my title.. and My Position.. I rather Live as a Slave Instead.. I don't deserve to Kiss Your Hand because I know My Heart.. I know How much I love YOU.. that is why I won't.. Please stop there and DO not come closer.. I rather walk away from the Outer Court.. and I would Hear.. the Queen is coming.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I see you turn the Other way.. the Queen in tears.. coming to Kiss Your Hand.. and I see her lips kiss.. putting YOU in charge of everything.. I would walk the ten Council of Noble Men walking and they all stop behind the Prime Minister of the Nation.. and I see the King.. who is on the Floor.. He is crying.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANG WOO.. QUEEN.. come to me.. and I see the Queen turn around and she walks to her Husband as She also falls on the Floor.. with tears.. and I am standing there.. each Council of Noble MAN.. walking forward.. each Man comes to Kiss Your Hand.. and I am standing there.. My Heart is truly Touched.. truly Moved.. and I am standing thinking.. WHY can't I kiss Your Hand.. is it because it is My Pride.. WHO am I to tell YOU this.. WHO am I as the Lowly servant.. I am only the Palace Guard.. How can I reject Your Hand.. but It is because I love YOU.. I know that I must kiss but I know if I do.. I become Your Subject.. as I would watch each person kissing Your Hand and they Bow and lower to the Knees.. and LOOKING at the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. now the three of my friends goes over.. and Each of them decides to Kiss Your hand.. I am now standing alone.. if I don't kiss YOUR hand.. I know that I must leave this Palace.. this Outer Courts.. so I would turn to face the Gates.. I know that I must leave.. I just can't stand here any longer.. I just can't kiss Your hand and just become NO ONE to YOU.. and as I behind to walk down by myself.. the Special Body Guard runs.. and He stops me.. putting the Sword in front.. and I turn around and I still see YOU.. YOU just standing there.. with the White Dress.. SO beautiful.. WHY are you stopping Me.. I told you already that YOU are going to be a Great Ruler for the Nation.. Everyone gets on their Knees before YOU.. the Prime Minister.. the Commanders.. Chief Generals.. Generals.. the foot soldiers.. the Ten Council of Noble men.. all the Maid and servant.. EUNCH.. the Highest Kitchen Lady.. the Doctors of the Palace.. all falls before YOU.. shouting Out.. Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and Tears are all falling.. saying the Next RULER coming UP and I would look at YOU.. my tears are flowing DOWN.. I am so Sad because HOW can I love YOU now.. LOOK at me.. I can't even do anything.. How can I love YOU now.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would fall on both knees and start too weep in Pain.. I am aching because LOOK at me.. WHO AM I to love a CROWN PRINCESS like YOU.. and I am looking at the Ground.. wailing and Weeping loud.. I know that I am wrong.. I know that I should of never started but NOW to turn back.. it is just too late to turn.. I have come long ways of loving YOU.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. WHY.. WHY did I even come.. if I could of stayed behind.. then It would not hurt me this Much because the Loving YOU always hurt but Now.. it hurts more.. I don't want to lose YOU.. because I know that I love YOU.. as I am would stand UP.. and I look toward the Gate.. and I started to walk.. passing the Gates.. I know that I can't come back.. I will remain as a Slave.. and I started to walk.. but.. this Special Body Guard keeps on following Me.. and Puts his sword to STOP me to go.. and I would turn.. I see YOU walking.. and coming closer as I am stopped by the Gates.. I am wondering.. YOU have everything here.. WHY are you doing this to me.. the more you do this.. the More I will be hurting in inside.. YOU know that I am little.. with such no Power.. I have no strength but YOU have all the strong People around YOU.. who also decided to choose YOU to be the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have all the troops.. even the people all.. I would see the People.. common people.. they all fallen on the Floor.. and People.. the common people.. when they see YOU.. they would shout OUT with the loud VOICE.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and People are on the Floor.. on the knees looking at the ground.. and I am standing here.. SO touched.. winning the Hearts of many people.. in the Palace and Out with the Common people.. YOU have won as the Next and I know that YOU WILL DO great.. that is why Now.. YOU have no need for me to be here.. because YOU have taken the seat to RULE.. and I told YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will not kiss Your hand.. if YOU are asking me to come.. and be your subject.. and wants me to kiss YOUR HAND.. that is why I rather leave.. I would live in the deep of the forest and into the mountains.. I will not be known to YOU anymore.. and I see YOU coming very closer.. and your hand touch my shoulder Blade.. and I hear the word Stay.. and I turn around to face YOU.. HOW can I stay with YOU if YOU want me to kiss that Hand.. I told you I just can't.. if YOU want me to be Your Subject.. I want to live a different life.. I can't spend the rest of my Life just standing here.. Unable to say.. unable to tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I am Not going to live the rest of my life.. just wishing because I just can't.. why

I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near.. but.. knowing you are so Far.. I still feel like YOU are near.. as Long as I have your picture in my hand.. and I am able to tell YOU some how.. How I feel this very night.. I would be asking for Your Heart.. I even brought the Empty Glass jar.. I know that your Heart can't fit in this Empty Glass Jar.. I know YOU have a Big Heart.. But I still want Your Heart.. I would be sitting down.. looking at your Picture.. my Chest burns when my eyes looks at YOU.. holding your Picture in my Heart.. Can I please imagine that YOU are here.. Can YOU please tell me that I can close both of my eyes and say that YOU are here.. that YOU are near.. but when both of my eyes are opened.. I know that YOU are gone.. leaving this space between us.. this distance which makes me even miss YOU more.. when Can I see YOU.. when will you ever be close to me.. Do you know the times when we can see each Other.. but every time I close my eyes and I imagine.. I know that I feel you so close.. so Near to me.. that I want my arms to hold YOU.. Hold you close and tight.. and I want to tell your ears.. How much I missed YOU.. ever since the day One.. I have been missing you ever since.. Please.. tell me that YOU are near.. I would grab your Picture.. and I would keep on looking at YOU.. this Picture.. it burns my Chest.. Burns like I put my hand on the stove.. and I can feel the fire burning.. it hurts when My chest burns.. like I get too many chest pains.. I get a lot of chest pains when I look at your picture.. I wonder why.. I want to stop these pains I get.. my chest hurts.. and I can feel my Heart screaming from inside.. I can Hear my Heart hurting.. with Chest pains of asking me.. WHY does my Heart keep on hurting.. only if my eyes can stop looking at your picture.. I know it can stop all these attacks in my Heart causing my Chest to Burn.. I just want to drop my Heart.. maybe Toss my Heart into the lake where the Waters are near to cool my Heart down.. But.. I don't want to lose my Heart.. I need my Heart so that I can love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU when I have my Heart close to Me.. as I would be looking at the Bottle.. I open the top of the lid.. I know that I should stop drinking.. the more I drink by taking shots.. the More I miss YOU and wish that you are here.. I would be wondering.. when I can I see you.. when will it be the day where I don't have to miss YOU.. and stop these pains.. these aching of longing for your presence.. to Hold YOU.. Hold you in my arms and to look at Your Heart.. I am going to be looking for your Heart to tell YOUR Heart.. look what you have done to my Heart.. Keep on missing YOU.. I would place the shot Glass close.. and pour the bottle into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. as my hand grabs the Shot Glass.. I would open my mouth.. and take a Shot.. I wonder if this is going to cool my Chest down.. but It burns as it goes in.. I can feel the burning and this ache just won't go away.. my hand grabs your Picture and I would look at your Picture.. why do YOU have to be so far from me.. I know that I be missing YOU like crazy.. when I look at your Picture.. sitting by the lake.. looking at the waters.. Looking at the stars.. asking the Moon.. I want wings.. I need wings.. Please give me two wings.. so that I don't have to be suffering like this.. and taking shots.. and keep on missing YOU.. How do I get me two wings.. I know that be the fastest way for me to get to YOU.. so that I don't have to miss you.. whenever I miss YOU.. I know that the two wings can help me.. lift me Out of this Misery.. so even from the distance.. looking at you from distance and able to see YOU.. I think the missing YOU will go away.. but when YOU are sitting here out by yourself.. and knowing there is a space and distance and my eyes can't see YOU.. On this very Night.. I would start to think of YOU more and more.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hear Your voice.. your laughter.. I want to see your expression when I am near YOU.. what would you do If I was near YOU.. and knowing how much I love YOU.. what would you do if I am able to get me two wings.. I am able to fly over and just to see YOU.. because of missing YOU.. would you let me stay by your side.. would you push me away.. or would you greet me with a smile.. because I don't want to show UP if you think that I am a creep.. if I would scare you when my intentions.. my motives is all about loving YOU and telling YOU how much I love YOU.. I only want to show up to tell YOU that.. Not asking for anything More.. would you open your Heart to receive.. accept how much I love YOU.. or are you going to tell me to get Lost and push me out of the way.. I want to be near so that I can tell YOU I can be gentle.. and be more tender.. and too tell Your Heart.. showing YOU the Picture.. the picture of YOU.. and holding the empty Glass Jar.. that I been waiting for Your Heart.. that I want Your Heart.. and this is the proof.. that there is nothing more in this world I want.. but I need your Heart.. all I need is your Heart and to show YOU the Empty Glass jar.. and the reason why I have brought it empty.. to show YOU,, I want what is inside of YOU.. that is Your Heart.. Nothing more.. and I would wait.. wait for Your answer.. and I will show YOU the two Wings.. this is the wings I have received when I was sitting by the shore.. I was at the Lake.. looking at the waters.. and I would show YOU the picture.. I know that this picture belongs to YOU.. but I had to keep it for myself.. ever since I have seen your Picture.. I just got lost by Your Beauty.. by your presences.. and I knew.. YOU are the only One for Me.. so Please.. take my word as being so true.. so real.. because it is My Heart.. coming from my Heart.. Now.. ever since I got this Picture.. I just could not keep away.. I wanted you close.. I wanted you near to myself.. I am so sorry if I have your Picture.. I am so sorry for looking at your picture and falling in love with Your Beauty.. YOU know that YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO Other words I can say to YOU but to say.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. when I look at YOU.. and I see you smile.. whenever I see your Smile.. I feel like a foot kicks my Heart.. very hard it kicks that I feel my Chest Burns.. and keeps on burning.. But I just can't keep it to myself.. I just can't help it but to share.. to tell YOU.. I need Your Heart.. so that I know for sure I can really Love YOU.. as I would pull out a Note.. with me is a Pen.. and I would start to write on this note.. LOOKING at Your Picture.. grabbing the BOTTLE and pouring into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I pick UP the Shot Glass and I would take a SHOT at it.. placing the Shot Glass on the ground next to the Bottle.. I can feel it.. I can feel my Heart.. It tells me that My Heart is burning.. it is burning me from the inside.. I needs to take a breathe.. because YOU are taking my Breathe away.. as I am looking at the Note.. writing with the Pen.. telling YOU that I miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. It burns me.. giving me Chest pains because I am missing YOU.. over and over again.. I keep on missing YOU.. will this Note goes to YOU.. if I put this Note in this Bottle.. I wonder how far the current of this water can push the Bottle through.. will it goes to YOU.. will you receive this Message that I wrote on the Note in this Bottle.. if the Current of the waters are strong enough to let this Bottle goes across.. I want this Message in the bottle to go to YOU.. I don't want another hand grabbing this Bottle because it is all written to tell YOU How Much I love YOU.. and How much I miss YOU.. I don't think it can go far.. I don't want the wrong person.. wrong hand

I am looking at the Two baby Teddy Bears.. the Twins and I would be smiling.. SO Beautiful and So Cute.. as they are both sitting next to each other.. I want to Hold the Little Son and the Little Daughter.. Both holding Your Pictures and Looking at YOU.. I would hear the Word MOMMA.. Where is my MOMMA and I would see the Eyes looking at me.. I am trying to get the two to go into the Bed.. but.. It seems like they do NOT want to go to sleep yet.. and I am not sure.. but around this Time.. I would put them into the ROOM and Into their Cribs.. But this very Night.. I see the Two.. the Little SON.. with the Baby Blue shirt.. the Little Daughter with Pink Shirt.. a BOW on top of the Head.. I am looking at the two Bowls.. as I would LOOK at the Phone and to Face TIME you so that the Two Can say something to their MOMMA.. as I am calling YOU on the Phone.. I cannot believe that the Little Daughter.. She does NOT cry any more when I try to Pick her UP.. my Smile grows and I can't believe it.. as I see YOU on the Face TIME.. I wanted to share this news.. and I see YOU.. and YOU be smiling.. but I am also so Happy right Now.. and I hear Your Voice.. the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I see the eyes grows Big and the ears be moving.. Knowing that It is a Voice so Familiar to Them.. and I hear.. the Little SON.. with BABY BLUE shirt.. both Arms raises and hands opens.. MOMMA.. and I be smiling.. Yes.. It is MOMMA.. Your MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see the LITTLE DAUGHTER.. raising UP the Bowl.. saying the FOOD is finished.. and SMILES looking at Me.. with this JOY in my Heart.. I can't stop crying because It was so hard to get this LITTLE ONE.. the LITTLE DAUGHTER to eat.. I did Not want to force anything.. and I would hear crying and never thought that this day would could.. as I would turn the Phone where the Face TIME shows Your Face.. the Two BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Little SON.. the Lips.. SMILES so BIG with his Sister.. the Little Daughter.. and I see the hands be waving looking at YOU.. I just got this Bow.. the Pink Bow for the Little Daughter.. I just could Not believe that the Little Daughter.. I would sit next to her.. holding the Bowl with a Spoon.. I was Not sure if she would eat or Not.. But.. I started to cry as I put Rice and Beef Meat.. she opens her mouth and starts to chew and eat.. I wanted to call you with the Face Time to show YOU the Little Daughter.. there would been a lot of fits and pushes.. head turning on the Side and I could Not put anything Into her mouth.. and I would sit.. just worried to death.. but Now.. as I am looking at YOU on the Face TIME.. I would hear YOU telling your Children that YOU be coming Home very soon.. and that How much MOMMA misses her babies.. and How you wanted to come sooner.. and watching the Two.. the Little BABY TEDDY BEARS.. holding hands would not go to sleep.. knowing you be coming Home tomorrow must of gave some kind of excitement in the Hearts of Your Children.. and this Morning.. I know that the Little SON.. I would put the Bowl next to HIM.. he would eat alone without any Help.. but Putting the bowl Next to the Little Daughter.. She would Not eat.. I would try to tell the Little Daughter.. if YOU don't eat.. you can get sick.. and I will be sick too and even Your MOMMA be sick with me too.. so Please.. eat so that I can share HOW good daughter YOU BEEN with me.. and I would come closer.. as I sit Next to the Little Daughter.. I grabbed a PINK BOW and Put on top.. showing the Mirror to say.. YOU are the Most Prettiest Little Daughter I ever seen.. and I saw the smile.. grabbing the SPOON.. putting a RICE and the beef.. the Mouth opens wide and I put the spoon into her mouth.. as I see her chew and eat.. I just could NOT hold my tears in.. I just could Not believe that finally I am able to feed this Little Daughter.. in the hand.. there is a Picture.. I would open her Hand and to look at what Picture and it is a Picture of YOU.. and I would look at YOU through this Picture.. my hand touches My Chest and I would say.. WHY do you Burn my Heart.. WHY do you do this TO ME and even bringing the Twins.. the Little SON and the Little Daughter.. my Heart beat faster as I spend the time with Them.. they are so Adorable and so Cute.. never imagined in my Life that I could even fall more harder for YOU because I feel like I am a part of something Bigger now.. I remember when YOU first called me on the Phone.. and asking ME that YOU had to go somewhere.. and YOU had a problem.. that YOU could Not take your Children with YOU.. and needed them to be place by somewhere safe and secure and wanted to ask me a Favor.. if I could baby sit your children while YOU are away on this Business journey.. I remember I paused for a few minutes.. trying to think straight because I was Not sure if it was the right THING to bring your Two Children.. and YOU told me that they are two.. One is a Boy and the Other is a girl.. and they are Twins.. Little SON and the Little Daughter.. and it is a hard decision for YOU to leave them behind but this trip was very important for YOU.. of course I did Not want to say NO.. I had NO experience of How to deal with kids.. I never had any children on my own so I am Not sure what I am suppose to DO.. but.. of course I know that THIS IS a very Important business meeting.. this trip YOU must take and YOU MUST go so I told YOU.. Yes.. it is because I love YOU.. it is because It is YOU and as long as it is YOU WHO I LOVE the Most.. it does Not matter.. because I will try to be a GOOD baby sitter.. I remember when the DOOR knocked on the Front Door.. did Not expected much.. opening the DOOR.. I saw the Two crying.. I was Not sure.. How am I suppose to handle both be crying.. holding unto MOMMA.. and when YOU try to bring the LITTLE SON closer.. and He was in your Arm and the Little Daughter.. You were holding her hands.. and I saw your steps closer asking me to hold and Carry the Little SON.. he started to Cry Louder as He came into my Arms.. and the Little Daughter started to cry louder and sat on the Floor.. did Not want to come into the House.. and as I would look at this.. My Heart started to feel cracking inside.. started to feel this breaking deep within me.. WHY.. they do not understand why YOU have to leave them with Me.. and when I went inside the House holding the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little SON.. He is looking at YOU from the back.. arms stretching to YOU.. and Made me stop.. My Heart just could Not handle this pain of hearing this ONE cry and asking for YOU.. asking for His MOMMA and WHY you had to leave HIM with me.. and I would stand still thinking.. what am I suppose to do if they keep on crying.. asking for YOU.. and what do I do when they keep crying over and over.. and I turn around to ask YOU this Question.. I see you walk into this House.. YOU were holding the Other Little BABY Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter.. and YOU went over to the Couch and Put the Little Daughter to sit still and I would come over to Place and sit the Little SON next to her.. both crying.. and hands be rubbing the eyes looking at YOU and Looking at me.. and I would say.. and YOU would give a Phone to the Little Daughter.. and Placing the Hand of the Little SON.. telling the Two YOU be coming Home soon.. and that I am a BABY Sitter for few days so Don't cry.. and I see the two Stop crying when YOU tell them that.. and I see YOU with Your Other Phone and YOU dial the Number.. and the Phone would ring.. the Little Daughter looks at the Phone.. the Little SON looks at the Phone and presses.. and It is the Face Time.. and the two looks at the Face Time.. I see YOU walking back.. and YOU are talking to the two Little BABY TEDDY BEARS and I would watch them smile.. hands be waving looking at YOU through the Phone and giving them two Pictures.. One for the Little SON and the Other for the Little Daughter.. so that YOU are near and YOU gave me One too.. and as I would look at YOU.. I would watch YOU say good bye and Left the Front Door.. I remember the first Night.. I just could Not sleep at all.. and the two Would Not sleep either.. both sitting on the Couch and would be crying.. asking for YOU.. for MOMMA.. of course every one Hour I would hear the Phone ringing and the Two siting next to each Other.. they would fight for the Phone.. pushing the Button for the Face TIME.. I see them showing Teeth and growling that One of them has to talk and the Other.. as I would watch still on the corner.. I did Not want to bother any of them because of how the two.. the Little BABY TEDDY bears kept on crying crying after YOU would hang UP the Phone.. pushing and shoving who is going to answer next.. after a long period of time crying.. I would hear silence.. and when I look at the Couch.. the two be sleeping next to each other.. and I would walk into the ROOM.. and the Picture YOU gave me.. I would go over to the desk and sit alone.. looking at your Picture.. I would be thinking.. they been crying all through the day after you left.. and the two do Not want to eat either.. they do NOT want to drink any waters.. sits on that couch.. LOOKS at your Pictures crying and looks at the Phone to see it rings.. and I am looking at your Picture.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to bring those two into my House and I know that I have NO experience with children.. what if they keep on crying asking for YOU.. I hear where is MOMMA.. why isn't MOMMA calling the Phone.. and Keeps on crying for YOU.. and Now there is Peace and silence as I am sitting in this ROOM alone.. of course if the Two Little Ones are crying Out for YOU.. asking and missing YOU.. I know that my Heart truly feels the same.. that I do want to see YOU SOON too and that I know what the two Little TEDDY BEARS are feeling

Again.. this Cry.. it cries and cries.. My Heart cries OUT loud the way the two Baby Teddy Bears be crying Out.. wiping the Tears.. grabbing unto the Phone.. pushing each Other for the Next to LOOK at YOU.. saying It is Mine turn to see.. and cries after the Hanging UP on the Phone and looking at YOU.. LOOKING at your Picture crying of these sorrows in the Hearts.. I would watch the Two Little BABY Teddy bears.. sitting on that Couch.. I know that Heart.. I can feel that Pain in the Heart because that is HOW I feel to when YOU are Gone.. when YOU are far away which leaves me to be more lonely than ever.. just to be with YOU.. just to tell YOU.. but my Words can't say it.. I see the two., saying I MISS YOU.. and I love YOU.. LOOKING at you when the Two looks at YOU through the Face Time.. but I stand still.. it kills me the Most.. it eats me at it inside because I wish that I can be like the two TEDDY BEARS.. your Children who is able to say it and tell It the way it just feels inside but I just cannot.. and I would watch them cry.. I cry with the Two watching on the SIDELINE because.. I want to go over to the Phone.. looking at you on the Face TIME and when I look at you through the PHONE on FACE TIME.. just to tell YOU with my tears in my eyes to say it with Means.. I miss YOU and I love YOU.. why can't you be here so that I don't needs to cry any more and watch the Children to cry along with me.. it burns My Heart into pieces.. it burns because it hurts so much.. this PAIN of loving YOU.. I may become sick.. sick inside because I am Loving you just too much just for too long.. that IS how much I love YOU.. I am looking at your Picture.. just thinking about YOU.. if I am sitting here.. and just missing YOU.. I wonder about the two Little Ones.. the Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. I am looking at the Son.. and I am looking at the Daughter.. Both so adorable and so Cute.. and I want to see YOU.. of course both are in the cribs and they are sleeping.. I just came Out of the room.. and two rooms in this House.. as I am thinking about the Long Day.. I would be hearing crying.. Just crying for Momma.. and I would be showing the two Little Teddy Bears Your Picture.. and I would see the Son.. I would say.. this is Your MOMMA.. do you see her.. which I am speaking about You.. and the Little Son.. He would grab your Picture with both hands.. and Looks at the Picture.. sitting on the Couch.. and I am looking at him.. standing UP.. I would see the two tears.. lines of tears running down the cheeks.. and I am thinking.. what am I suppose to do.. This Little Son is crying for YOU.. and I see the kiss.. kissing the Picture of YOU and saying.. MOMMA.. MOMMA I miss YOU and I am just standing.. am I suppose to call YOU on the Phone.. of course the Little Son is more quiet.. but the Daughter.. has a pink Bow on top of the Head.. wearing Pink shirt.. I know that this Daughter is Hungry.. I remember you calling me on the Phone.. and I would hear the ringing.. so I pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOU on the Other side of the Line.. and I am looking at the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. I would sit Her on the Diner Table.. and she Sits on the chair you brought from your Home.. I would be trying to tell YOU.. why doesn't the Daughter Eat.. I know that she must be hungry.. but I am looking at her.. the Daughter.. sitting on her chair.. and I see the head turns to look at me.. and crying.. I can hear the weeping loud.. asking where is MOMMA.. I miss MOMMA and I would just stand there.. what am I suppose to do.. and I would be walking to the Diner room.. and I would stand by the chair the Daughter is sitting down.. and I would lower myself to look at the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. and I would ask.. Can I face Time YOU.. so that this Daughter can take a Look at you.. she has been crying.. and I would ask if she wanted to eat.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter would tell me No.. I just fed the Little Son.. did Not cry at all when I gave him some bowl of rice.. as I would face time YOU.. and I am looking at you through the Screen.. I really miss YOU.. of course I am not just going to stand here and cry like these two little Ones are.. but I want to see YOU.. if I am missing you a lot.. then I wonder how these two be feeling.. and I would show the Little baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter the Face time.. and I see that She loves to see YOU.. and wiping the tears for her eyes and looking at you.. I hear the voice.. words.. I miss My MOMMA.. Where are YOU.. when are YOU coming Home.. and I can feel my Heart be shaking hear those words.. and I see you on the face time.. YOU are smiling looking at the Daughter.. I hear the words from YOU telling the Daughter.. I love YOU.. and I miss You too.. and My Heart.. my hand touch my chest.. did YOU hear that.. it is my Heart just woke UP to those words.. I am looking at you on Face time.. I wish that those words be said to Me.. I wonder if YOU would ever tell me those words.. I know that YOU love the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. your Little Son and the Daughter.. both staying at my House.. but.. I want you to come soon.. I never thought it be this hard to be missing YOU.. but when I am looking at the two Little Teddy Bears and they are missing YOU.. and watching them both crying.. and Looking for YOU and waiting for YOU.. it breaks my Heart.. especially every Night.. I would watch the Little Baby Teddy Bear the Son.. He would sit on the floor and Looks at the front door.. and Just looks at the door knob.. and just stares for a while.. waiting for YOU.. and finger points at the Door Knob and turns the Head to look at me.. asking me.. MOMMA.. take to My MOMMA.. is MOMMA coming home tonight.. and turns the head to look UP at the Door.. as I would stand behind with few steps behind.. I do not want to go pick him up.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Son.. when I go and share the bad news that YOU are Not coming Home.. I hate to see because when my hands reach and arms hold the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little son.. right when I pick him Up.. He starts to cry.. and Loud and Loud cries I hear.. I hate it because He would Not stop crying.. I don't want to say to HIM.. MOMMA is Not coming home tonight.. and When I do.. the Cry grows louder and louder and screams for MOMMA.. my Heart.. I can feel my Heart be shaking because I want to scream and cry too.. because It breaks my Heart.. after few minutes of crying.. I see that He goes to sleep.. in my arms wrapped around.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear sit still.. and I go into the room.. where the two cribs are.. put into the Crib where he sleeps.. I know that YOU told me about a week YOU are going to stay away.. going on a vacation but I am wondering.. why did YOU not take these two with YOU.. and had to leave them with Me.. Now as I am looking at YOU.. on the Face time on the screen.. I would look at the Daughter smiling.. waving the hand at YOU.. and giggles and wiggles.. and I hear you saying to be a Nice baby girl.. and telling the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter that She needs to eat.. if she is hungry.. to eat.. that I am Not a bad person.. but there to be here for the two.. so I am smiling as the baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter sits on the chair.. and saying Yes to your words.. I have already prepared for the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I have her Bowl with rice and Meat.. I have set it on the table where she is sitting.. and I would take the Phone away from Her.. and I am looking at YOU.. I hear the crying starting after I took the Phone away.. as I am looking at YOU on the screen of this Face Time.. I would hear YOU say to me.. I am suppose to feed Her.. that she loves it when I sit next to her.. and I feed her with the Spoon.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son is more like On his Own but She is different.. like a baby.. and I hear more crying from Her.. and so I would pull the chair.. the chair I sit to eat and I would sit next to her.. and I give the Phone to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I would pick Her up and let her sit on my Lap.. as the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter sits.. I would look at the Bowl of rice.. scooping with the Spoon.. putting a Cow meat on top.. I am looking at the Little Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. she opens her mouth Wide.. and she is looking at YOU on the Phone screen on Face time.. and I see YOU looking at the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Daughter.. and I hear you smile.. and saying.. GOOD JOB.. and I can hear her chewing and eating.. I was truly scared that this One may go starve.. I tried to give her the same Bowl of Rice and the beef meat.. had to cut the meat into smaller pieces.. but would Not eat when I tried.. But now.. I see the main reason why the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear would not take it from a strange person.. I see How delicate this One truly is.. I would see the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. showing YOU her teeth and showing how she is chewing.. as I would scoop another bowl of rice.. putting a smaller pieces of beef meat on the top.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter opening the Mouth wide.. the spoon enters gently into and I see how she is able to take it all in as she starts to chew.. and I pull away the Spoon out of the mouth.. I am looking at the Baby Teddy bear.. the Daughter How much she enjoys looking at YOU through this Phone Screen on the Face time.. and smiles looking at YOU.. after the chewing is done.. I am able to look at you through the Phone of the screen.. I hear YOU telling the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. How much YOU love.. and How much you miss.. and asking about her brother.. so I am able to raise her UP and Put her on the Chair where she sits.. as I take the Phone away.. I start to hear Crying.. I mean is this One going to keep on crying every time I take the Phone away.. But I knew that the Little Son also wanted to see YOU

Is sitting on the floor.. and close to the Door.. looking at the door Knob.. I would put the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter on the Couch and she sits there.. so I would walk where the door is at.. I would put my arms around HIM.. lift him Up.. the Little Son.. his both arms reaches.. hands open for the door and I hear him crying.. waiting for MOMMA.. as I am walking away.. WHY do I have to feel this Crumbling crash from the Inside of my Heart.. I do not want to keep on hearing all these cries.. I would take him to the couch.. and let HIM sit on the couch next to his sister.. as I would stand and I would pull away from the couch.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. he turns to look at the Phone and looks at the Screen.. He looks closer and sees someone.. I hear MOMMA.. Me MOMMA.. and smiles.. both looks at each other and looks at the Screen of the Phone.. at the Face Time.. I would hear.. MOMMA.. I am waiting by the door.. are YOU going to come and take Us.. I miss YOU MOMMA.. I love YOU MOMMA.. as I am looking at the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. both smiles very big looking at YOU on the Phone of the screen on face time.. MOMMA.. I love YOU.. MOMMA.. I want to see YOU.. and I would stand there.. I would watch until the Phone gets hung UP.. and Both starts to feel tired and they would sleep next to each Other.. I am looking at the Room.. the Door where the two Baby Teddy Bears are sleeping.. and I know that They were so glad and happy to see YOU.. as I am sitting in the Diner Room.. I am looking at Your Picture.. It has been a long day but time flies so Fast because busy with the Two baby Little Teddy Bears.. I am just looking at Your Picture.. Just missing YOU.. just hoping YOU would come home sooner.. Not because of the two Baby Teddy Bears.. but Just missing YOU around.. I know that I haven't said this Lately.. But I do Love YOU.. I love YOU just too much.. and I just missing YOU right Now.. please tell me this.. when are YOU coming Home.. so that I can see YOU.. so that I can tell YOU how much I missed YOU and still be missing YOU.. just to tell YOU how much I love YOU too.. that YOU are who I love the Most.. and has never stopped loving YOU.. I am sitting on the Couch.. on my Lap is the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Next to me sitting is the Other baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I am smiling.. looking at the Picture.. and on my Lap.. the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear is looking at YOU.. and I am missing YOU.. asking when YOU are coming.. I want to show you the Two Little Ones.. the children are getting better as the days go by.. I haven't heard them be crying.. and as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I see you holding the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. and YOU are sitting on the couch and next to YOU is the Daughter.. who is smiling sitting next to YOU.. it is the same situation.. My finger touch over your face.. and I hear the Little Son.. asking for Mama.. and I would show the Little Son.. and Show the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. the Picture of YOU and as the Little Son looks at you through the Picture.. and I would say.. yes.. I miss too.. I want to see YOU.. but It seems like it is going to take a little Longer.. I remember few days ago.. a Phone would ring and I answered the Call.. Hearing your Voice on the Other Line.. telling me that YOU are going to stay a little More Longer and will delay the flight.. I could not tell the two.. the Two Little Baby Teddy bears.. I know that if I tell them.. they are going to cry for YOU.. and I do not like it when both children sits and cries for YOU.. do YOU know How much that Hurts me because they are hurting over YOU.. the way I feel about YOU.. so I asked YOU.. if I can keep it a secret and not to tell the Daughter and the Little Son because I know.. you do not know how it breaks my Heart.. when I have to stand still or sit.. watching them cry.. when the One starts to cry.. the Other joins in to cry along side.. and they both be looking at Your Picture.. and turns to LOOK at me.. asking where YOU are.. asking where is MOMMA.. and what am I suppose to say.. I had to watch both looking at the door.. both sits next to each other.. and they are looking at the front door.. and LOOKS at me.. keeps looking at me and I know what they both are saying.. where are YOU.. I have to say.. YOU are going on a long meeting.. I think for a business trip.. MOMMA needs to go to make Money so that YOU can buy good things and I would try to explain what the good things are.. but of course they do not get what I am saying at all.. They are too young to understand or knows these things.. as I would sit on the couch.. putting the Little Son and sits on my Lap.. I would give the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear the Picture.. of course If I give the Little SON a picture of YOU.. I would look at the Daughter who looks at Me.. and wants to have a picture of YOU.. she keeps on looking UP at me which she is sitting next to Me.. I have to have a picture of YOU.. so I asked for three pictures to be sent.. they be fighting over Your Picture which the two would always cry over.. taking my picture away.. I remember calling you on the Phone.. I asked YOU if YOU can bring and sent three pictures.. so NO ONE fights over or cries.. or fusses.. Now.. there has been a great peace and Joy in this House.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I miss YOU.. when I have the two baby teddy bears.. which they are Your Children.. it seems like I miss YOU more and More.. because they came from YOU.. and so Beautiful children.. and I would hear giggles from the Daughter.. she points and shows me YOU.. and I hear the word MOMMA.. and asks me.. where is MOMMA.. and I would look down at the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. and I would tell her.. working.. and the Little SON turns and looks.. and asks me the same question.. and I hear I MISS YOU MOMMA.. and it hurts.. I have to hear these words out of these two children.. why is it that I am hurting more.. I am hurting much more when the Two.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. they would look at your Picture and tells me.. MOMMA.. I miss YOU.. and Keeps on showing the Picture of YOU to me.. and tells me I love YOU.. and I miss MOMMA.. I am sitting on the couch.. they are expressing what I am feeling all of the Time.. I know that I can truly relate but the problem is there is Nothing I can do.. what am I suppose to say when YOU Miss.. and has NO answers to what I am feeling because I know How it is hurting me More.. I feel like for myself.. but when YOU can the children involve.. I feel like I am taking more loads on my Heart.. why can't you come Home.. why cant you come sooner.. the two are always missing YOU.. asking me where are YOU.. and they sit on the floor.. LOOKING at the front Door.. and I know if I try to pick the two UP.. One will cry because.. and I have to hear the other One cry too.. and it can get to YOU sometimes.. I wish I can find a way that NO ONE gets hurt and I just don't have to be hearing more cries.. as I walk out of the room.. I would watch the two Baby Teddy Bears falls asleep.. I had to give the two a Bath.. putting the Bubbles into the bath tub.. the two enjoyed taking a Bath in the bubble.. I had to put them into the Crib because It was the bed Time.. I grab a Book and started to read them and I saw the two baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. they both started to sleep while I was reading a children's book.. as I watch the two sleeping.. I would smile looking at the two children.. they are so Beautiful.. of course they are Your Babies so it makes it more beautiful for me to see.. as I would walk out of the room.. I go into my room and sit on the chair.. with the desk.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and it is the Picture of YOU and the two Baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap.. and the Daughter.. she is sitting on the couch next to YOU.. with a Yellow Bow on top of the Head.. My Heart moves.. LOOKING at this picture.. My Heart screams from the Inside.. and I have bought an Art.. the GIANT SKETCH BOOK.. and I would sit.. wanting to draw the Picture of YOU.. with the two Children.. am I loving YOU more.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture.. with the two children.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. why did you have to come and introduce me to the two.. when ever I look at the two.. I am only seeing YOU more but my Heart just loves YOU more.. when the two sits next with me.. and I watch them smile.. it kills me inside because they make me smile.. my heart lights UP on fire when I see the two.. I am holding the hands of the Little SON.. I try to get him to walk.. but He sits and cries instead.. trying to teach the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Little SON to walk.. I remember I called YOU on the Phone.. and I wanted to face time.. and I saw YOU on the Phone.. with my two hands.. I held the two hands of the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. trying to get two legs to get UP.. and through the Face time YOU saw your SON.. and he falls and starts to cry.. and the Daughter starts to cry with her Brother.. and I had to let you go on the Face time.. and I am sitting on the chair.. looking at the Picture and thinking of these little flashbacks.. and I grab the Pencil.. which it is use to draw.. but I just could not draw.. I know that YOU be coming soon.. when YOU come.. I know the two Little Ones.. the Two Baby Teddy Bears are going to go with you.. that Means.. it is going to break my Heart.. not just going to be missing YOU but also the two Little ones you brought.. I know that I needs to do this.. so I would look at the Picture of YOU.. Looking at the Little SON sitting on top of Your lap and LOOKING at the Daughter who is sitting next to YOU.. OH MY HEART.. these precious Little Ones.. MY Heart.. what are you doing to this Heart of Mine.. why did YOU have to bring them to Me

A children's book and starts to read or they will Not go to sleep.. so I would look at the Phone.. and I would see YOU.. and the two baby Teddy Bears.. they know it is MOMMA on the Other side.. and I would give the Daughter the Phone.. and I see her looking at YOU and with a Big SMILE.. waving hand at YOU.. and I would open the Book.. and I would start to read the sentences.. paragraphs it becomes.. and I can hear YOU on the Phone telling the Two LITTLE ONES.. and the Daughter would hand to the LITTLE SON.. and Looks at YOU.. Looking at MOMMA.. and I can hear YOU on the Other side asking the two Children.. what is the story about and to explain to YOU.. as I would read and Pause.. I hear answers coming out trying to answer the questions.. and I sit still.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both looking at YOU through the Face TIME of the Phone.. trying to tell YOU the answers.. Fussing and bumping into each other.. of course.. after a time.. I would watch the two Letting YOU go on the Other side.. and I would look at the two Little Ones looking at me.. and I would continue to read the Children's Book.. open my mouth loud and clear.. and I would watch the two.. the eyes would get heavy and both sleeps on the Floor.. One at a time.. I would pick UP.. with the Daughter first.. putting Her into her crib and then I would go and pick UP the Little SON.. which I would stand still.. Holding Him in my arms like he is my SON.. and I would slowly put him into his crib.. and turning Off the Light.. I would leave the room.. I am sitting in my room.. just thinking about the day.. I would love to draw the sketch.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. I am truly terrible at it.. I am not sure why I grab me the Art Pencil when I know that I just can't finish it.. but deep in my heart.. I do want to draw YOU.. and looking at the Picture.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. Not just YOU but with the two children on the Picture.. but My Heart just won't let me do it.. because I know it will shatter inside because I love YOU.. My Heart will shatter into pieces because I know that the two will be leaving soon.. of course I wish that the two Little Children can stay more longer.. but the More longer they are with me.. More I feel like it is Hurting me instead.. what if I would say to YOU.. don't let the children leave me.. I would be crazy before Your Eyes and I know that they belong.. they came with YOU and that is why I know they must go with YOU.. My Heart just can't accept that the two Baby Teddy Bears be leaving me soon.. and it is hurting me right Now because I know this.. of course they must go with YOU.. as I sit still in the silent.. I receive a Message from YOU.. and YOU have sent me something.. it is a New Picture of YOU.. and YOU are showing me.. telling me where YOU are.. and as I would look on the Phone to take a look at the New Picture of YOU.. and I know that the Children.. the two Baby Teddy Bears will love this Picture of YOU.. of their MOMMA.. which YOU are smiling in this One.. that YOU are doing so GOOD.. this is what I wanted to see.. what I wanted to hear.. and I hear the phone ringing.. and I picked UP the Phone to hear Your Voice.. and I would tell YOU.. after the face time.. I know that the children.. the two Baby TEDDY BEARS would be arguing and they would fuss at each other because they wanted to give YOU the answers.. and Yes.. I had to let YOU go to get this issue solved.. did I finish reading the children's BOOK.. while I was reading the stories to them.. I saw the eyes.. the Daughter first.. the eyes grew tired and I saw the two eyes would close and She lay on the floor sleeping.. I would keep on reading the Children's book and I would look at the eyes of the Little SON.. which he grew tired too.. both eyes started to close and He lays on the floor sleeping next to his sister.. I would keep on reading for at least 30 more minutes.. as I close the Children's Book.. I would pick UP the Daughter first and Put her in the Crib.. and I would go over to the Little SON and Pick Him up next.. Putting HIM into his crib.. and I stood watching the two sleeping.. holding the Daughter.. the BABY TEDDY BEAR in my arms.. I hear I miss MOMMA.. as I would walk out of the room where the two are sleeping.. I would be thinking of YOU and I go into my room.. sitting on the chair next to the desk.. I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU with the two Little ONES.. BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap and the Daughter sitting next to YOU with the Little Yellow Bow on top of her Head.. I wanted to draw picture of YOU with the two children.. and I kept on looking at Your Picture.. trying to draw I just could Not.. then YOU called Me.. all I wanted to say is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love YOU too.. missing YOU so much hurts me right Now.. so Please come Home soon.. I am trying to draw Picture of YOU.. grabbing the Pencil and Looking at the sketch paper.. the Picture is in front of me as I am sitting by the desk.. as I am smiling looking at the Picture of YOU.. I just can't believe I have your Picture.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Just too beautiful to be true.. and the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. The most Beautiful Baby Boy.. I am trying to concentrate drawing.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. I see the hands trying to grab the Pencil.. losing me to Put the Pencil Down.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. this little Son.. starts to cry.. wanting to hold the Pencil.. I tell this baby Teddy Bear.. I am trying to draw a picture.. why can't You just sit on my lap and just watch me Draw.. I am looking at your Picture.. and I just want to see YOU.. the baby Teddy Bear looks at my eyes and turns to look at the direction I am looking at.. This Little Son looks at your Picture.. and hands wants to grab your Picture.. and tries to get closer to the Picture.. But.. I would pull the Baby Teddy Bear away.. and He looks at me starts to cry.. saying that is MOMMA.. and I just can't believe.. this Baby Teddy Bear knows the Picture is YOU.. knows who his Momma is.. and as I would pull away.. I want to draw.. I tell the Baby Teddy Bear.. Please.. let me draw on the sketch paper.. I hear another Crying on the back.. it is His Sister.. and they are twins.. two Baby Teddy Bears.. One.. the sister is sleeping on the Bed.. the Daughter.. and I can hear a crying and I would turn to look back.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. she has woken UP from sleep.. and Looking for MOMMA.. and I turn around.. as I get up.. the Little Son.. He starts to cry as I am holding.. I turn away from the desk.. holding the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Now I hear both crying.. Both crying for their Momma.. and as I put the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear on the Bed.. next to His sister.. both are crying as I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. I just don't know what to do.. when Both are crying together.. looking for Momma.. and it breaks my Heart because I do also Miss YOU as well.. I want to see YOU.. then I wonder how these two Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. when they belong to YOU and being that part of family.. I am watching both crying and crying.. hands are asking to be Hold.. and I am just standing here.. ALL I wanted to do is to draw picture of YOU.. sitting by the desk.. looking at the picture of YOU.. and just to draw the picture.. to know how much I love YOU.. and I wanted to show YOU and to give it as a gift to YOU.. but it seems like it is Not working at this point.. What am I suppose to Do.. the two baby Teddy bears are crying.. they are looking for MOMMA.. am I suppose to call YOU.. because they will not stop Crying.. I can't even draw picture of YOU any More because.. they are crying.. I can't concentrate with Two babies crying.. as I would look.. I would pick up the Phone.. but when I picked UP the Phone.. it was YOU who was calling.. and I would hear your voice on the Other side.. I smile because I was about to call YOU.. and YOU have read my mind.. asking about How the two baby Teddy Bears be doing.. and YOU can hear the two crying.. the twins.. Baby Girl and baby Boy.. both crying for MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. and I would tell the two.. It is MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see both stops crying and I would give the Phone to the Daughter first.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. hands grab and pulling away from His sister.. wanting to hear the voice of their MOMMA.. and I am just.. my Heart.. My Chest.. My Heart.. How much these two are missing their MOMMA.. wanting to see.. I see both ears.. trying to listen to the Voice of their MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. they are so Beautiful.. both.. the twins.. the Baby Teddy Bears.. both so Cute but so Beautiful.. I would turn around.. and I do remember.. I was sitting down on the chair.. by the desk.. Looking at your Picture.. I would look and say to Your Picture.. when can I see YOU.. will you let me hold YOU.. will you let me love YOU.. I know I can love you the way YOU want to be held and want to be loved.. I know that I can love you in a way you would never felt before.. I can tell YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. How Much I love YOU.. but.. YOU have to give me the permission.. allow me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I would be looking at your Picture.. when will you come around so that I can see YOU.. My hand grabbing unto the Pencil.. looking at a sketch of paper.. My hand starts to trace.. using the pencil to draw.. and I am looking at your picture.. to draw you on this sketch paper.. and right when I was about to go deeper.. I hear a knock on the door.. DOK DOK DOK.. and I am wondering.. who be knocking at the front door at this time of hour.. it is getting late.. and I am thinking.. maybe I am just too tired that I am hearing things.. so I would begin to use my hand to draw.. I hear another Knocking

Their MOMMA.. what am I suppose to do then.. because I have No experiences at all.. and I see you get closer.. trying to hand me over the Little SON.. and as I would hold on with my arms.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son starts to cry.. and I see the Little SON.. arms stretching out to YOU.. because He does not want to come to me.. the Cry gets louder and louder.. and arms stretching out to YOU.. wanting to Go to YOU instead of Me.. and His cry so Loud.. hurting my ears.. and I am not sure.. It is so hard for me to control.. and I would ask YOU to come inside.. I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter starts to cry too.. both being very loud cries.. I just don't know what to do.. why are you leaving them with Me.. they are both crying loud for YOU.. asking to take them with YOU.. My Heart hurts.. it hurts because I know How it feels to be in a pain when YOU leave.. as YOU would try to give me the Other Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. She is even more worst.. YOU had to hold Her close.. and She would sleep in your arms.. Would not even come to me.. kicking and screaming when YOU try to get her close to me.. and what happens when the Other Baby Teddy Bear wakes UP and knows YOU are not in the House.. but has left her with Me.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear will find Out that YOU are gone.. but for now.. she may sleep.. if the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter did not come to me when YOU were here.. I know she is Not going to come to me when I am alone with Her.. I feel so Bad.. My Heart breaks as I would watch the Little SON.. He sees you walking.. the BABY TEDDY Bear starts to crawl after you.. I am watching.. my eyes.. I feel my tears going to pour out.. as I see you walking fast.. going to the front DOOR and the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear crawls crying after you.. as I watch YOU leave the front door.. and the door closes behind.. the Little Son.. baby Teddy Bear sits and cries.. and sits by the door waiting for YOU as He keeps on crying for his MOMMA.. I am standing behind.. just wiping my tears.. It hurts.. this Pain.. it feels like a sharp pain has entered in me.. It hurts watching the Little Son.. hurting.. crying for his Momma.. and turn to look at me crying.. tears hitting the floor.. and turns to look at the door.. what do I do.. tell me.. what am I suppose to do when It hurts me just watching One breaking Heart.. what do I do.. I wanted to go.. Open that front Door and run after YOU.. grab Your Arm and pull and to let YOU see.. LOOK at the Little SON.. look at HIM crying.. why do I have to be the one to watch His tears run down like this.. WHY do you have to break my Heart when I have done nothing to YOU.. why come over and look at the Heart pieces falling apart.. WHY do I have to be the one with the Broken Heart.. it hurts me more than It hurts YOU.. as I would walk.. closer to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. keeps on crying.. pointing to the Door.. wanting to go with YOU.. but.. I know that I can't take this Little ONE to YOU.. and I am just standing here.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do at this Point.. because I can't help this Little Son.. even though I want too.. but.. YOU be telling me you wanted to be time alone.. you just wanted so time off.. to refresh Your Head and that is why YOU are leaving and has made me to be the Baby sitter for the Two Baby Teddy Bears.. I know you have brought all that is needed for them.. so that part I am ready to do what I was told me to do.. but.. I just can't take the pains of the two baby Teddy Bears be crying.. Now.. I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both sitting on the top of the Bed.. with the Phone in their Ears listening to Your Voice.. Both looks at each other and smiles knowing that They are hearing their MOMMA on the Other side.. so I am getting closer.. and I am wondering.. few days.. but when is that the few days end.. so that I can focus on drawing picture of you on the New Sketch Paper Book I just bought from an Art Shop.. I want to draw a picture of YOU and to show YOU when it is all completed.. I be drawing YOU.. for a long time I wanted to draw a picture of YOU.. I know that I am Not good in drawing.. but I do want to try so that I can tell YOU.. I can show YOU this is My Heart.. Not Just My Heart.. but it is My Love.. this is a way I want to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I need a time alone.. I need my own time.. if the two Baby Teddy Bears are here.. I know that I can't draw anything.. so I would get close to the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I am asking if I can have the phone Back.. so that I can talk to YOU.. but it seems like the two Baby Teddy Bears does Not want to give me the Phone.. they want to hear their Momma speak on the Other side.. I see the smiles and giggles together.. it look so beautiful.. how the two are so Beautiful when they smile.. just like their MOMMA.. YOU are the most Beautiful when YOU smile.. as I would watch the Phone being hung UP.. and the two sitting on the Bed.. looking at me.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do now.. they just looks at me.. and both starts to cry.. crying loud wanting to see their MOMMA..I am sitting by the desk.. I am looking at the shot glass.. and grabbed the Bottle of whiskey and poured into the Shot glass.. placing the whiskey down.. picked up the shot glass.. opened my mouth and take a shot.. I am trying to forget YOU.. but I just can't.. I have placed your picture on the top of the desk.. I keep on looking at this picture.. I tell myself I needs to stop.. but I feel like I needs to keep on looking.. I would look at your picture and say.. why are you doing this to me.. why do I have to keep on looking at you.. of course I have a pencil and a clean white sheet of paper.. I want to draw.. looking at your picture.. I want to draw the picture of you.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. but I can feel.. this whiskey starts to kick my head.. I feel light headed and buzzing.. I know I drank so that I can forget you.. but why is it that I am missing you more now.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. as I am looking at your picture.. why can't your picture talk back to me.. I want to hear something from you.. but no matter how many times I am going to tell you looking at your picture.. I will not hear anything from the Other side.. but I want to hear from you.. Please.. tell me something so that I don't feel the light headed I am feeling at this point right now.. YOU know that I love you.. I can tell you many times that I love YOU.. can you tell me something.. can you hear me say the words to YOU.. I love you.. and I grab the pencil.. starts to trace and starts to draw.. of course I am looking at your picture.. as I stopped.. putting the pencil down.. I have drawn a picture of a Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. and I am looking at this pieces of paper.. looking at the Heart.. this is suppose to be your Heart.. so that I can touch it.. as my hand touches the paper.. my hand touch the Heart.. can you feel my hand.. I am touching your Heart.. can you please tell me that you can feel my Hand touching your Hand.. as my eyes would look at the picture.. it is YOUR Heart I drew.. maybe you would tell me that Heart does not look like yours at all.. I told you that I am not an artist who can paint or draw pictures.. but I know that I can try to draw a Heart.. it is only Your Heart I want to draw.. I want to touch your Heart too.. How about me write my Name on this Heart.. and can I take this piece of paper and give it to YOU.. telling you that I have wrote my name so that YOU know that it is me who loves YOU and asking you to remember my Name.. so that you know that I love you.. I belong to YOU only.. so please.. tell me that I can.. as I grab the bottle of whiskey and pour into the shot Glass.. and place the bottle of whiskey on the top of the desk.. I grab the shot glass and open my mouth and take a shot.. I can feel it burning.. it feels like it wants to burn my Heart instead.. why.. I don't know.. you tell me why.. because I want to hear from you saying that I am allowed too.. as I am sitting down.. looking at the piece of paper.. looking at the Heart I drew.. I turn to look at your picture.. and I would hear a Crying.. I am wondering.. who is crying at this time of night.. is it my Heart.. is My Heart crying from the inside.. is it because of the whiskey.. the shot glass.. the shot of this whiskey.. I don't think my Heart would cry because of it.. and I would sit still.. maybe it is this Heart.. the Heart I drew.. which it is suppose to be Your Heart.. so is Your Heart crying.. and I would sit still trying to figure out why I am hearing crying.. and the Cry I am comes behind me.. and I would turn to look back.. and when I turn to look back.. I see a Teddy Bear.. the arms are stretching out.. and keeps on crying.. and I am wondering.. when did this Teddy Bear got here.. it is smaller and wearing a blue shirt.. must be.. and I would stand up from the chair.. and I hear from the Teddy Bear crying.. MOMMA.. and I stop.. I just can't.. I see tears in the eyes of this Baby Teddy Bear.. and He is crying for Momma.. and I am thinking.. why are you asking me for MOMMA.. I am trying to get over and I grab the Picture and I walk to the bed.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on the top of the bed.. and I would sit next to the Baby Teddy Bear and I show the picture.. and I would point.. is this Your MOMMA and the Baby Teddy Bear head goes UP and down telling me that YOU are.. I am wondering.. I am trying to get.. How come now.. and the Baby Teddy Bear wraps the arms around your Picture.. I think you must be a Son.. I am very confused.. so YOU are looking for Momma and the Baby Teddy Bear cries and cries and cries looking for YOU.. and I am sitting down.. what am I suppose to do.. and I start to feel my tears running down.. if you keep on crying.. how about me.. you are going to make me cry with you and I would grab the Picture