Until I was out of my 26 yrs of marriage, I now focus on myself I didn't see the manipulation or let's play the victim. The blame hurt so much as I felt his alcoholism was my fault, he would say we haven't been intimate, it's your fault... Why would anyone have sex with a person who smells of their drinking... Who wants that, I didn't. I'm free now and looking after myself, alanon was my lifeline. ❤

Love you guys

Thank you so much for talking about this because I feel like it’s not talked about enough. I was that person in sales (including fitness sales at the gym!) and it was the perfect job to have to celebrate wins at the bar or indulging in other things and I too was recognized and awarded and felt like I was doing just fine until I realized how much I was on autopilot, hating my life and feeling like I had zero purpose except for making money for the corporation and rinse and repeat. I had no zest for life and would see my coworkers around me living the same life thinking this was “just how it was”. Sitting in the rooms of AA today, you hear a lot about these miracle stories of people surviving homelessness and finding their way out of poverty etc but you rarely hear of the functioning alcoholic/addict or maybe I’m still new in the rooms but it’s definitely not talked about that much from my experience. Thank you again for touching on this and sharing your personal experiences. A lot of people out there who are going through exactly this think their lives are normal and suffering on the hamster wheel is “just the way it is” when it really doesn’t have to be and we can in fact pivot towards a life of purpose and meaning. Appreciate you both ❤💯

sadly i take 8.5 a day....no help in site. avoid them like crazy, doctor prescribed dose....6th year....ruined my life completely. crazy when i lost my son I trusted this doctor and others. lol, poof they retire, move and are gone, i have a 2 week supply left and now I watch this...NEVER EVER TAKE THESE DAMN THINGS!!!!

Imho, the best way to be truly free of the addict's nonsense is to be far away with little to no contact.

What about parents struggling with addiction

Hey you want to date my junkie friend, or I have a friend that loves to get wasted. Welcome home. SF/EF

100 percent methadone I totally agree with what you said

The man I loved and left died of an overdose a few months back. The last time I saw him was the first time I saw him with stuff in his hand and him slumped over and passed out. For the better part of 5 years especially the last 3 his behavior slowly become different in various ways. I tore my mind, myself and relationship apart trying to understand what is going on. I would leave but I loved him so much and wanted it to work I would come back. I started to see things and question but he said it was nothing. Then he said that once in awhile when in work break he plays. I don’t do these things I don’t know them. When I last saw him, my world crumbled. I should have asked if he needs help, instead I was so scared and broken and angry. We text and spoke over bay yesr and I would ask him if he is doing bad stuff and he swore he was not. The man I feel in love with was supposedly upfront, honest and full of integrity, so I believed his words. He died of now of an acidentally overdose. It is devastating. There is so much guilt, shame, loss, Confusion and questions. I have spoke to friends of his, investigated thru his phone etc.. all to realize he had a closest use for years. Our relationships psychologically broke me. I blamed myself for keep on leaving. I broke off from all my friends. I isolated myself for years. I gave up the last chance of having children because there was something that seemed off but he would say I am crazy. That I need help. The end is he is gone and I can’t Dr thin back and help him. Now I am left without my love and questioning if I ever knew him after the first year. These drugs are more powerful then the to smartest or strongest human. If it could take him, it could take anyone. Now I am left to pick up the pieces of my fragmented life I gave away to a man I don’t know if I ever really knew. No words can describe it. It’s exhausting being haunted by all this. Why do these things happen when I thought met finally the man I was going to marry and have a family with so late in life.

Is rock recovery only for men or do you guys also treat women?

Yeah let's listen to these Bible licking crybabies. Life isn't for recovery, recovery is for your life.

Dude with the sleeve always looks angry. 😂

I'm ready mah guide me!

Is there any safe and effective way to actually get off Suboxone?

They do not know what they’re talking about. Kratom is addictive. Complete sobriety over anything. Kratom is relatively safe with doses <7g and should be cycled if used consistently. Great option over any opioid

Less than 3k followers wtf

My boyfriends sister is an addict and we’re living with her. It’s been hard. Especially when she breaks my stuff and blames it on me just as an excuse to start using again. Playing the victim card. What hurts the most is that my boyfriend believes her lies and tries to protect her, i guess like all big brothers naturally do. This is drifting us apart. My mental health is also being affected big time because confronting her caused only more problems. Her only reaction was anger and i was sobbing trying to make her tell the truth which, as i now understand, was not possible knowing the only thing she thinks about is drugs. Imagine: your stuff gradually, over time is being broken and stolen and when confronted, YOU have to say sorry to the person who did it because they felt attacked. Feel like im the peacemaker who is always trying to understand and help everyone else, but gets hurt and stabbed in the back instead. I feel very alone in this, because the only person i need supprt from right now (my partner, the person i trully love) is being manipulated and cant see the situation as it is, as a result enabling her to use furthermore, harming herself and lying to everyone she once loved. Hope someone else can relate. ❤

I thought my hubby quit drinking almost 5 yrs ago, but I’ve had Suspicions since than and I was right I confronted him once in that time and boy did he turn it on me ! Today I find a hidden garbage bag full of empty beer/ liquor bottles! Iam so disappointed n upset. Iam not sure what to do or say about it again knowing he will start an argument and blame me again . He’s been a functioning alcoholic for the past 35 years he never misses work he controls it well but I just can’t handle alcohol in around or near my life anymore how should I go about this

Boundaries is the hardest thing to stick to. I'm from Canada and moved to another Province because I became such an enabler that I was putting myself in danger😢 Thank you for the reminder that I'm not a horrible mother for having boundaries.

I really loved this podcast. Yesterday was 1.8 years of sobriety for me. I started with 75 Hard. My plan was to have my first drink onNew Years Eve 2022….but I didn’t. And then I hired a trainer and decided to see what else was possible. In 6 days at the age of 53 I compete in my first bikini competition. As I sit here this morning eating egg whites and a crap load of water today I question my goals lol…but seriously I’m so astonished what happens when you choose discipline and God. As I have gone through this journey I rebuilt my relationship with God. I am a type A so I do take that into consideration….especially this competition and being a former bulimic. What is interesting is that I found out the opposite. I have a beautiful relationship with food. I was able to see that with real while food I can fuel my body in a beautiful way. I’m really grateful to people like you all…it’s like having an extension of my family. Thank you! Live beautifully🧡💪🏼✝️🫶🏼🙏🏼☀️

What if the sponsor then becomes a friend and the steps aren’t completed yet and the sponsor crosses serious boundaries because 1. They think their sponsee is “okay now” even though steps haven’t been completed and 2. They’re friends now? Is it time to disengage with this sponsor and seek a new one?

Please do more of these podcasts. I found it while I was parked waiting for my Al Anon meeting. I’ve been debating talking about my personal experience in Al Anon but was worried about the anonymity part and then you guys spoke on it. Universe sent y’all to me ❤✨ my partner is in active addiction right now and in denial and defense mode. When I heard all of your stories I was blown away and so so proud of all of you and the leaders and healers you are today, in service to yourself and to others and my heart is overflowing with joy. Please continue this work because you are affecting people positively and changing lives for the better. More please!! 👏🏼👏🏼💯❤️❤️

I’m a drug and alcohol counselor x avid mind pump listener!!! My worlds collided and I’m so glad I found this channel 😍😍

Thank you for this awesome episode. I’m a huge Mind Pump fan! Hearing Sal talk about his faith during the last third of this episode was as so inspiring. Hearing how Christianity can really fill that void and how receiving God’s grace can make such a difference is the message that so many need to hear. Thank you for sharing your faith journey and being bold enough to put it out there. So thankful that I could start my day with this podcast!

When I truly use the steps and traditions and clean myself out emotionally and spiritually through the steps I did not need to justify using marijuana or anything else and still say sober I was truly so reminded after doing this and remain to be so today I have over 33 years in recovery I'm working a daily program and being sober minded through daily working the steps in my life and applying them in my life on a daily basis

Sober equals clear-minded

You mentioned that you’re a by the book AA member. However, while on this podcast your breaking your anonymity on film. What are your thoughts about traditions 11&12?

This is why I broke up with my codependent alcoholic girlfriend. Manipulative and lies all the time. On and off for 2 years and I fell for it.

just wanna say its nice to actually see you guys.been in prison in union county fl.your podcasts are very popular in fl prison if u didnt know love the show guys keep doing what ur doing vu help so many ppl that u dont even know about whether for ever for a yr for a month or even just for one day of soberity.ur stil helpn esp us in the chain gang we have ZERO ABSOLUTELY ZERO HELP in fl prison so thanks for getn me thru some ruff times bros

Thanks for the shoutout guys! I just got out this month and I’m in long term in Upstate NY! -Garrett O.

How about Recovery zealot manipulation? Far more common. You are doing it now

I got on methadone when i was only SEVENTEEN years old in 2000 and have been on it ever since. Biggest mistake I ever made. Its like being in a surreal time warp. No one that young and that early in their addiction should ever be put on it. It kept me clean, but it also kept me from nearly everything else. Its 18 dollars a day now.☝️😮‍💨

I have just been dumped by my abusive boyfriend of 4 years, (alcohol and cocaine) I have been the only one there for him when no one else was, I have stood by his side when he was down and scraping the bottom, I have found him where he was about to take his own life, I've been there all the way and found myself in so much crap and lies and now that he's in treatment and on day 40 clean he's ditching me because he needs to focus on himself , I have never felt more used and laughed at. I was good enough when no one else was there for him, when he needed a place to live, when he was at his worst, I stood by his side. I am left with the feeling that now that he is recovering I am not good enough. and the funny thing is that he will never find such a sweet, caring, loyal and loving girlfriend like me. and I have no abuse I live a quite normal life with work and healthy relationships

Good to see & hear you Nate! FWIW - regarding remarks at 15:30 - I had a girlfriend who had a Planet Fitness membership, but never went. When I asked her why she bothered to keep it - she said it was her 'fat tax' and I never brought it up again ;)

My body got to the point that kratom made my feel like there was just a comedown so i just switched to tramadol and upwards and onwards. Tolerance. ....it will get you. Wait till the Chinese start making analogs out of it. Thats a question? Is that possible?

Why do people say opiates make you feel high lol. If you've done a few tours of Afghanistan and iraq and your suicidal maybe but its a bit misleading cos for most people they DO NOTHING unless you like being lazy. They make you high after they have messed up your brain and made you sick enough to feel RELIEVED from the sickness. Isn't that like saying that jumping into freezing water makes you high as you get endorphins after going tru torture. Misleading. Someone might try it out thinking its like methamphetamine without the hangover. It wears off about ten times faster than methamphetamine too. Also don't fall for the withdrawals are painful shi either. Pain is the 3rd worst symptom. Suicidal depression that people rarely follow-up on purposely. Never ending fatigue that has you constantly thinking about how you can magically get a bag (Easy for women 😢). Writhing around in bed watching horrible videos to distract yourself. Hope this gives more insight into the hell of pleasure seeking.

1st comment clout lol. THANK YOU GUYS FOR EVERYTHING!! I'm so happy more and more people are on this mental health issue awareness! (Addiction /substance abuse are mental health issue) I LOVVVVVEEEE YALL!! Took so many notes! Thank you for these gems!

This is exactly how I have treated him always. I will help minimally but never with cash. Clean then not. Rinse and repeat. It is very difficult to maintain any sympathy for him as you know they are in a sense actively working against you and trying to manipulate you on top of it. I personally believe he is a covert narcissist. It's sad but I have allowed it by staying. The promises never kept. If you have the option to leave, go. They'll find you if they eventually clean up.

How about the ppl who smoke weed and have been sober from their drug of choice for years? Ive seen alcoholics who smoke weed and havent drank in over 10 years

I called the police on my alcoholic 45 yr old daughter after she started punching me because I told her she had to leave. She called several of my very close family members telling them how terribly I was. She ended up moving in with her 7th boyfriend who was an alcoholic and addict, but he supported her. H e finally kicked her out and now she is with another guy. She had manipulated me for years but after me joining ALANON she couldn't manipulate me any more. We haven't spoken in several years. I worry about her and will always love the REAL her.

You already knew you didnt like Apple Watches. 3rd one you bought and will be selling. 😂

My ex partner never used to blame it on anything. She was an admitted addict but she just used to go get some stuff out the blue. Buying alcohol, cannabis which I also smoked, and cocaine which I almost always refused to partake in cos it wasn't my drug of choice I love weed. She wasn't crazy into the drugs cos of having 2 children but I used to see her and the children during the day and she would be half hammered on vodka taking the dog out for a walk then drive us all back to her place under the influence hitting car mirrors whilst turning round in the road and I just had to sit there in the car and say nothing or she'd kick off. Being out of the relationship now I knew I was abused but whilst in it it's so hard to see. Life is crazy and we all go through mad things.

I picked up my friend from rehab. The first thing she asked was to go to a CVS to pick up a few toiletries. She went straight for 2 family sized bottles of Gold Listerine. As if….. Cunning. Baffling. Powerful.

Good stuff fellas. Gratitude is how I start every day even when I may not necessarily feel so inclined. Finding even one thing to be grateful for is the start to what usually turns in to more gratitude. Crazy eh?

Hi everyone beyond happy I found you guys I've been watching and listening for a really long time now I have Ben's phone number just haven't reached out to him lately really in a spot where I need to hear you guys

Lol y'all remind me of the person who said I can't maintain sobriety without being in group. I've been sober for four years now, and yeah, I drink NA sometimes, I also hang out at bars and with friends who are drinking. Hell, I even have beer and liquor in my fridge for guests. NA beer is a great alternative for me when I go to a bar with my friends and doesn't make me feel isolated or left out in the social group. As for the alcohol content, .05%? Sure maybe some folks should be avoiding it, but for a lot of us? Not a worry. You'd be surprised by the amount of food, drinks and medicine that have alcohol in it. Frankly, as somewho who works with addicts professionally and as someone in recovery, y'all seem like youre encouraging people in alcohol to continue having alcohol control their lives by distracting how they can maintain sobriety. You're taking and individual's power away.

I like this conversation setting.

This is so cool. Reminds me of loudermilk show. I'm 11 years sober, been to AA meetings, but they're a lot different than whatever type of meeting this is. Very interesting.

Great breakdown Tom. Very simple to understand.

Maya! Link your jeans!!!! 😊