What type of waswas you used to suffer from?

Same as you😢😢😢

Bro I have been fighting with the wudu/ghusl/najas thing for 19 years, mostly manageable aH, but this year my entire world got turned upside down. This stuff started affecting core tenants of deen as well. The past 6 months have been absolutely unimaginable (to people who haven’t been through this). The initial shock gave me panic attacks/mania and developed into bipolar. I was debilitated and unable to work my job, I felt like a zombie. Everything becomes so hard trying to reaffirm faith all the time, and trying to put my mind at peace, especially before wudu or salat. Questioning what’s an actual thought vs. whispers. I also wondered how many people in the world that are going through this hardship. Know that you aren’t alone, iA with Allah’s help we will get through this as much as it seems “impossible”. We just have to hang on and not give up, make dua and know that there are some things that you will not rationally comprehend in this life. YQ is one of the few scholars on YT that touch on this line of issues. PM me if you’d like.

​@@IT_FarhanI'm also suffering from these issues. I think that my knowledge is not enough regarding taharah. It all started when my mom gone to umrah and at that time I have to wash my clothes by my own in a semi automatic washing machine. At that time I go on KZbin and searched how to purify clothes from najasah....I found out the the way my mum was washing the clothes is not appropriate(according to hanafi madhab). It all basically started from there...I started focusing on my family members that maybe someone is doing something wrong or not. Now today is my condition is that I bath for aroundhalf an hour and even more thinking that the najasah maybe on my face is not washed yet thoroughly, I am arguing with my parents on daily basis like you are doing that wrong, the najasah is not washed yet, why are you taking slippers ther, why are you going outside without slippers and yes they are wrong in many matters and they also did not pay much attention on their taharah (maybe becoz of lack of knowledge or maybe I don't have knowledge that's why I'm thinking that). I was a practicing guy and used to pray consistently but as of now I'm not praying consistently, not going anywhere from the house. I don't know what to do and whom to seek help from. I am afraid to go to meet any any scholar, I think that they would not understand my problem and would scold me. Please ignore my English mistakes.

​@abdullahasif6490 sorry to hear that you are going through this. Sounds like you are going through the cycle of ocd. The only way to break the cycle is to not pay attention to the thoughts, only notice they are there. Your brain has attached meaning to it, so it thinks it is something that is to be feared so it has activated your brains amygdala, fight or flight response. If you continue to do the obsession, checking if something is clean over and over it only reinforces the anxiety. You have to ride the anxiety and sit with it. Over time your brain learns that it is not dangerous/something to be fearful of. It's uncomfortable at first, but gets easier as the anxiety goes down. Hope this helps. If you are able to get therapy, please do. Take care.

How are you doing? This is the cycle of ocd- it makes you doubt, gives you intrusive thoughts, if you continue to justify, reassure, check etc. Your brain has learnt over time, through compulsive behaviour I.e checking in yo case, that it has to give you an intrusive thought to remind you to check. But the thing with checking is that if you do it repeatedly, you become less and less sure because your brain will continue to give the same thoughts (intrusive thought, anxiety, fear). You have to try and break this cycle, otherwise you will be stuck and your fight and flight (amygdala) will continue to believe that there is danger and will not learn that there is no danger. Then the intrusive thoughts and other symptoms will calm down, and you will start to feel much better. At first it is hard to break the cycle and your brain will fight you and try and pull you back into checking behaviours, but you have to push through it. Then it will lose its power and your rational thinking will take over. I hope you are doing better. Please get therapy if you can, it will help a lot.

Wa ʿalaykum wa-Raḥmatullāhi wa-Barakātuh

There is a Kindle version which can be obtained from here: www.amazon.co.uk/Jami-at-Tirmidhi-Chapters-Commerce-Explained-ebook/dp/B0C7W3LSCM

آمین اللهم آمین ۔ اللّٰه تبارک وتعالیٰ آپ کو جزائے خیر عطا فرمائے ۔ کراچی سے بہت محبت

Wa ʿalaykum wa-Raḥmatullāhi wa-Barakātuh. Allāh na karey. He's alive Alḥamdulillāh Allāhumma Bārik feeh