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@Tattootin Күн бұрын
Ahh yes the older ya get the more you realize everyone does cocaine.
@thejohnhastings Күн бұрын
It’s insane. Who wants the nose near the the toilet.
@CurtisMulholland 2 күн бұрын
To state that Oxycontin (oxycodone) is a pharmaceutical grade heroin pill is slightly inaccurate. Oxycodone is 1.5x stronger than morphine, while heroin (diacetylmorphine) is 2-3x stronger than morphine.
@thejohnhastings Күн бұрын
Good facts. Do you sell opioids.
@brandonsizemore3619 2 күн бұрын
I feel like more than 5% got hooked on Oxy. It was on every corner and in convenience store in 1999 lol.
@thejohnhastings 23 сағат бұрын
I mean it was not AS much research as you would think went into this bit
@eddygci8 2 күн бұрын
Legend
@thejohnhastings 23 сағат бұрын
Truth
@RowdyRuth 2 күн бұрын
😂
@Jeffrey-d2q 3 күн бұрын
True story.
@thejohnhastings 23 сағат бұрын
Very true
@calvincampbell9815 7 күн бұрын
I guess it’s good that he stopped drinking at least
@thejohnhastings 4 күн бұрын
Real crack pipe half full perspective
@JansenRichardDrummer 7 күн бұрын
Hahahahaha Killer! 😂
@thejohnhastings 7 күн бұрын
Hell yeah
@rohypnotist6263 8 күн бұрын
2 women in 4 years ... Nobody likes a bragger
@thejohnhastings 8 күн бұрын
A real Hugh Hefner
@jamieultra5444 9 күн бұрын
How many bodies do you have buried in your backyard
@SpaceDuck9 9 күн бұрын
All of them
@thejohnhastings 9 күн бұрын
Define buried?
@whiterook8022 9 күн бұрын
lol
@blueberryhoowop 11 күн бұрын
Some people pay extra for that lol
@thejohnhastings 10 күн бұрын
Who said I didn’t
@michellemcfarland80 12 күн бұрын
🤣😂😅💗👏👍👏
@mrgonzo2139 12 күн бұрын
Damn i thought this was rob Dyrdek at first lol
@thejohnhastings 12 күн бұрын
Who is that! I will not Google it
@mrgonzo2139 12 күн бұрын
@ if you don’t know who that is. Than your child hood sucked
@simpl8 13 күн бұрын
You must've asked what she meant to do, please tell!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@thejohnhastings 12 күн бұрын
Seems like
@GRIMM-l8y 13 күн бұрын
Damn I hope you get big, unique delivery. This was hella funny
@thejohnhastings 12 күн бұрын
Tell everyone. I hope so as well
@dinobuddy 13 күн бұрын
I saw John Hastings in Tucson a few months ago, and holy sh*t, did he bring the house down. I've never seen anyone work a crowd like he can.
@thejohnhastings 12 күн бұрын
Oh you! Tell everyone.
@natembry 13 күн бұрын
Ok. . That’s cool but, what WAS she trying to do? 😂
@andhikaib9318 13 күн бұрын
Yeah that's a good question 😅
@michaelll 12 күн бұрын
The opposite.
@hugoshen1410 12 күн бұрын
Let's just say she didn't make it.
@thejohnhastings 12 күн бұрын
Squirt. Or shit my man
@rohypnotist6263 13 күн бұрын
Same thing happened to Trump
@thejohnhastings 13 күн бұрын
man looking back 2016 was a real innocent time. RIP BUZZFEED NEWS
@randy42000 10 күн бұрын
Yea but he had to pay extra for that
@bookingwright 14 күн бұрын
You should have a television show though
@RamonReyes-u6y 14 күн бұрын
“A spread so dangerous it’s actually killed children” - The Best Way to Describe Peanut Butter
@thejohnhastings 14 күн бұрын
Thank you. Riffed it on the night
@matlock864 15 күн бұрын
nah he only thought about two of them
@thejohnhastings 14 күн бұрын
I mean their is obviously one great one
@meganrichardson8555 15 күн бұрын
What if your a woman that's very weird and might seem creepy? 😅
@thejohnhastings 15 күн бұрын
What indeed
@josephcummings4205 15 күн бұрын
Funny stuff
@thejohnhastings 15 күн бұрын
Merci
@isaacmurphy591 16 күн бұрын
19:45 Based Doctor 😂
@thejohnhastings 15 күн бұрын
Man its been years since I heard the phrase based
@Cobra.Network 16 күн бұрын
Robin williams 😂
@thejohnhastings 15 күн бұрын
I always think i sound more like bro Frasier so I will take this.
@radarwilliams37 16 күн бұрын
He looks like Frank off of MASH.
@thejohnhastings 15 күн бұрын
Thank you, I fear I come across more like the oabst blue ribbon Charles Emerson Winchester II
@tylarjackson7928 16 күн бұрын
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter of course) famously has this disability. In the first film, you can see him blinking with his eyelids out of sync, which is apparently a very common indicator.
@thejohnhastings 16 күн бұрын
Get the heck out of town! Fantastic fact
@The_Real_Black_Jesus 16 күн бұрын
Skinny John Hastings can't Hurt you.
@thejohnhastings 16 күн бұрын
So skinny! I thought I was so over weight here too. Such a silly boy.
@Dragonsandservicedogs 16 күн бұрын
I have them both, dyslexia, dyspraxia, but also adhd, and autism. And other stuff ugh. Life is hard. Walk into the wall. Then apologize to the wall. 😂
@thejohnhastings 16 күн бұрын
Hahaha I apologize preemptively. I know I am coming
@DanKirsty 17 күн бұрын
I have dyspraxia too, but in my teen years was a fine athlete, these days, I have two left feet & can’t draw a straight line to save my life. Which working in construction I’ve found to be a little bit of a problem. You’re the only other person I’ve ever heard say they have it
@thejohnhastings 17 күн бұрын
Bro its nuts. Nobody knows about it. Hence the bit I guess
@macswallace2109 17 күн бұрын
Your voice kinda sounds like Robin Williams
@thejohnhastings 17 күн бұрын
Theatre school I think may be where it is coming from. Oh and my grandmother is Mrs Doutfire
@Unojuju 17 күн бұрын
i need context tho seems hilarious
@thejohnhastings 17 күн бұрын
The tape was fucked but I wanted to share. Basically the guy was super drunk and the woman had the vibe of being the true monster. He refused to leave was threatening to the staff and had been kicked out once and came back.
@mattoniy2840 15 күн бұрын
@@thejohnhastingshaha I’m interested to know what her look was like that made you think she was a true monster 😂
@soothOfTheLoop 15 күн бұрын
@@mattoniy2840 i thought it was Whoopi Goldberg...
@Unojuju 17 күн бұрын
cop was like im off buttttt hes righ there...
@thejohnhastings 17 күн бұрын
He was legit that energy.
@phantomboy09 20 күн бұрын
Great performance keep going strong :)
@thejohnhastings 20 күн бұрын
Merci!!
@CleanBurp 20 күн бұрын
I do appreciate self deprecation as a comedic strategy but something isn't lining up right here. Perhaps more subtlety with delivery or more of a muted affect and presentation of self. Also don't pay attention to me Sir Bigballs. You are more brave than me.
@thejohnhastings 20 күн бұрын
This comment was a rollercoaster ride and I loved it.
@MikeLucas-i6r 20 күн бұрын
That was really good man. I never like or comment on videos but that really stuck out to me. Keep up the good work.
@thejohnhastings 20 күн бұрын
Buddy thank you
@Jkfrasier1980 20 күн бұрын
And looks like Corey seager with a drug addiction
@tourdegadetheskankslayer1065 20 күн бұрын
He sounds like robin Williams
@thejohnhastings 20 күн бұрын
theatre school i think
@flammablewater1755 20 күн бұрын
Killer set. I love your material.
@thejohnhastings 19 күн бұрын
Dude thank you.
@billymctaco721 21 күн бұрын
I hope you this ain't your main job
@thejohnhastings 20 күн бұрын
Ouch got me! Such a brilliant joke! How do you come up with this stuff!
@billymctaco721 20 күн бұрын
@@thejohnhastings from watching your lame shit
@thejohnhastings 19 күн бұрын
Ouch you got me again. Such power you wield. Seriously thanks so much for the engagement! Really helping the channel!
@billymctaco721 19 күн бұрын
Here's the thing, you title the vid about awkward meeting of heckler after show but there is no joke or explanation just an intro that you're glad the audience is them, I was hoping for some witty exchange at the elevator or maybe some peace being reached, a better title would be women goes to two of my shows, anyways just my thoughts, I'll delete my comments shortly as you seem a decent guy
@a.danieloppie9581 21 күн бұрын
Bert krishner did this
@thejohnhastings 21 күн бұрын
Haha it was not berg crystals but it was a giant booze bag who has shown be his belly
@evildoesnotsleep-x2b 22 күн бұрын
I love that there's always a second, bonus joke about the audience's reaction to the first one
@thejohnhastings 22 күн бұрын
Look what am I gonna do. Not comment.
@RegretfullyMine 22 күн бұрын
Fellow Canadian and PTSD guy here. Fuckin-A, bud.
@thejohnhastings 22 күн бұрын
Welcome aboard eh.
@thejohnhastings 23 күн бұрын
Nobody likes middle-class wanks! Except for me!!!!!!! This is from my special which is 4/8 for the year. Are we pushing the boundary of the definition of the word "special"? kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y2XEaWqimKqdgZo
@things_i_say5951 23 күн бұрын
1 minute ago I heard him say on his 2019 special that he's getting married that year. 😃 Just heard him say he's getting divorced. 😭 Now I'M going through a lot. 🤣
@thejohnhastings 23 күн бұрын
Look 2020-2022 were wild years. To throw you threw a larger loop. Getting. Married again!
@things_i_say5951 23 күн бұрын
@@thejohnhastings Bringin' the law into it again I see. I'm sure getting remarried keeps getting better, according to your dad. 😘👍 (Happy for you!)
@thejohnhastings 23 күн бұрын
Buddy hes so stoked as he thinks it means the jokes wil stop. He could not be any more wrong
@things_i_say5951 22 күн бұрын
@@thejohnhastings 🤣🤣🤣
@Gherbert1348 23 күн бұрын
Who knew the entertainment industry is full of shitbags... shocked I tell ya, SHOCKED
@thejohnhastings 24 күн бұрын
This is from my most recent special Edinburgh 2022 on KZbin! kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y2XEaWqimKqdgZo
@PaulyBowTies 24 күн бұрын
Back in the days were all the Sex-ED teachers PE teachers as well 😅. I guess they had different meanings in each class, when it came to the physical part.
@thejohnhastings 23 күн бұрын
Bro its the worst I still picture a hairy Italian dude whenever I get the horn
@RichRotorhead 25 күн бұрын
Our NYC Jr. H.S. gym teacher (ex-NFL player) told a group of us boys that jerk*ng *ff will our penises bigger. FYI that was a lie 😢