Absolutely brilliant thank you for your concise exposition 🙏

That is why selfcompassion is such a great method to learn. It learns to deal with the shadow of the past, with the emotions of the past that are rising now.

What a smart man. He is so calm...love it.

I literally cannot remember my childhood. So I don't know how to work on it. I actually cannot remember my whole life. I have been so disconnected from myself. Dissociated, completely. I thought I was lonely for other people, I am just realizing I am lonely for myself.

@Gabor Mate are there any scientific conclusions regarding the need or benefits of emotional support from outside ourselves?

Sometimes people just provoke your trauma at least that's what's been happening for me for 4 years in Seattle

your mind still wants to solve puzzles…and unsolved puzzles create brain noise. There’s a massive difference between dwelling and actually seeing the beauty and truth of the past.

So true

Wow … he is on another level … yes … dealing with how the past triggers my present!!!!

For me it's about grieving the pain of the neglect, abuse, lack of positive family system, role models, & supportive network. B/c those wounds, when they get triggered in the present, result in an overreaction instead of one proportional to the more minor pain of the present, b/c it comes with the baggage of past grief & pain.

I think he's wrong about this. It's by going back and excavating the past and truly witnessing, feeling, validating & understanding it that our problems in the present are resolved. I value and respect Gabor Mate but I think he's still repressing his trauma/emotions a bit and is still a bit unhealed.

WHY THE F___ ARE YOU FLASHING UP SUDDEN CRA__Y IMAGES THROUGH THIS... TO PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE NEEDING A HEALING MOMENT???? D__CHE

So many children r not being able to deal with their trauma today. Ty Dr Mate! 🌹🫂✌️

Just when I've given up on the youtube algorithm. Thanks!

If only people could listen and follow his advice.

100%. The past affects our present. Repressing it is what harms us. Once you begin healing and process unprocessed emotions, it can feel like peeling the onion and removing unwanted layers and freeing yourself. So much clarity can come from this.

Amen

Thank you for the great advice!

:( bro

Exactly👌

I went through a dark period, pretty much alone mentally, i had affected my ability to understand language properly and triggered really deep psychosis with drug use. This is the kind of therapy i came up with for myself. I did it by writing poetry every day, writing and revising and writing, complete abandon, semi anonymously, creatively with feedback. Then slowly drank myself put off that hole to i could speak with a doctor for myself

Gabor Mate is beautiful

Absolutely! I'm Trying to reparent myself to heal myself from the trauma of my childhood

Ok…. What’s the solution?

Knowing one's "childhood story" can help deepen understanding though, which leads to compassion for the difficulties they've experienced in their relationships and maintaining emotional regulation and executive function.

I don't know why GM is compelled to talk like a psychiatrist or psychological counselor...he never had any training, he is not qualified for such things. If on other hand, he spoke about livers and pancreases, I'd have no problem with it.

I don't know if he ever mentioned that trauma is not the same as childhood adversity. The latter is continuous and unrelenting like emotional and physical battering until child grows up and moves out. The damage is severe and for life. I know, it happened to me.

What baffles me is that some people who have past trauma keep hurting innocent ones and refuse to get help, to eventually repeat the cycle…

I healed a trauma I carried since I was 8 years old in about 20 minutes a few weeks ago by my own technique. It was a scene I couldn't let go of all of my life and I'm now years old. I've had tons of therapy in my life and none of them, like Dr. Gabor wanted to delve into my past. The scene burned into my then fragile mind was my violent father punching my step-mother in the stomach, while she was very pregnant. She absorbed the trauma in her own way, but we can experience trauma indirectly by our parents violent or verbal abuse toward each other. I realize while they were arguing, How could they do this in my presence? Aren't I more important to them than their need to fight with each other I thought to myself. I had no Idea I had that level of inherent self esteem left at 8 years old to even have a thought like that, but my self-esteem wasn't meant to last much longer. I

Dr. Gabor, you look like someone who has not dealt with their past. Psychologists do not deal with trauma directly and is why their patients don't come out with total enthusiasm for life but are just brought back to their 'normal,' which is 'just before the trauma' occurred' and this isn't a bargain for most people. Not for what you are paying the therapist to help you with. In fact, all pain in ones life needs to be erased because a therapist should tell all their patients, it is their past pain which causes stimulus-response, triggers. And marketers love our triggers. So does most other industries in our economy. You can't enter into a past trauma using present time memory. You have to enter the trauma using the senses of perception that were present and available to you at the time the trauma occurred. What happened, you get some bits and pieces of the story, and you say this time tell it to me again, but I want to know, what did you hear, see, feel, touch, taste, was it hot, cold, raining, sunshine, were people present, what did they say, because any words or phrases spoken during a trauma is recorded at face value and becomes internalized. This is what causes unwanted verbalization to impinge upon the Conscious mind and is taken literally. If you spank your child, that's one abuse, but during the spanking if you say, you are stupid, will never learn, that coding will cause the child to take on the persona of being stupid and will never learn. Psychologists don't learn this stuff in University and if they do, current therapy is not up to date and will take months of therapy just because they don't want to take you back to the beginning. You can process trauma in a few hours, from start to total breakthrough and feeling good about it with no emotional charge by facing it head on. We don't teach our children to process painful incidents and they carry trauma all of their lives, affecting the health of the body. Sad our Mental Health system is.

Helpful perspective

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Sometimes we simply accept and are willing to acknowledge, what we "recognize" as traumatic, emotionally developed, resultant, mechanistic patterns and unconscious behaviours. We evolve. It's such a personal, private journey. The aloneness is anxiety inducing. Its not given the power it once was, therefore, these allowable indulgences are limited by my mindfully, brief encapsulated reductionist examination.

I wonder how many interested students and psychoanalysts will be in reading Mark Solm's revision of Freud's documents and newly revealed private letters. Every university ought to own a set. I'm not sure how many volumes there are: the labor of love took 29 years. I wonder if anyone understands Freud more the Solms does now that his work is finished.

Are you separate from Berlin Psychoanalysis?

I believe little boys discover their sexuality earlier than little girls because boys wake up with erections. How do I know? My brother was 1.5 years older than I and I often tagged along with my mom when she wanted my brother to begin his day. I thought he was scratching himself!

This is one of two logical origins of religion I've heard. The origin of religion could also be attributed to primitive man's belief in magic which needed an explanation for connecting two observations of natural phenomena witnessed visibly in daily living. (Since scientific method was centuries away.) Sir James Frazer wrote, then rewrote a condensed version of several volumes of his research into primitive culture. That book, "The Golden Bough" was finally condensed again and subtitled "A Study in Magic and Religion." Which is valid? The Baboon culture or primitive man. Did both cultures exist simultaneously? Yet, only baboons were studied scientifically by Robert Salpolsky, who is famous for his baboon study and subsequent theory of "Determined."

Thank you for confirming this this showed up in the right time

What is his name ?

I'm so stuck on particular past hurts that I just hate myself. It's a vicious cycle and only I can change it.

I agree 💯 with Gabor. I wrote a book about my life and it was both traumatising and therapeutic. He’s right in what he is saying that continually going back to tell your story isn’t healthy. That’s the problem with therapy in this country ( I’m from Belfast ) you’re given six weeks therapeutic therapy delving in it ends, then you’re on to see your next therapist. After being on another agency’s waiting list. The way of dealing with past trauma here does more damage. If you can afford to go private and research a trauma therapist a good one, you’re blessed.

Dr Maté is a gift from the heavens. All the therapy and all the self-help books, and all the other videos in TED talks, and whatever no one has helped me as much as this man has. It is my dream to thank him in person one day.

I just can't understand what use does lackan have for any real therapists. Really. And also, I tend to see the jewish aspect of language much more attuned to reality- in which words are connected to each other in a way that can't be explained only in a subjuective manner. i think Hebrew, as an ancient language, is diffrent from French in that regard.

Thank you

❤

Yesss ! I am going DBT that is for PTSD symptoms and I love that it’s about dealing with the symptoms and not trying to relive every single childhood memory

Thank you, Dr. Gabor. You illuminate the path for so many lost souls. Last night, your insights gave me a deeper understanding of my childhood wounds and how I can begin to heal. I am truly grateful for your wisdom and compassion.

This couldn’t be more spot on. Gabor you are truly one of the biggest blessings here on earth. 🙏🏻❤️