What about in LD how often? Also any sdvice if they dont initiate as much?

His pull away is 3 to 4 weeks. It is getting old. My cheerleaders think I am nuts for trying to hold on.

Appreciate this. 🌟💖

❤ your style

ask for yourself before watch this video: Do you deserve avoidant partner?

I needed this …

I just love your energy and motherly vibes. I can feel you care so much. So glad I found your channel !! 🥰🥰

😂❤❤❤

This was so incredibly helpful. Thank you so much. All of it resonated. I too am someone who has a history of being avoidant myself, which is why I am in a relationship with an avoidant. It’s been three years and I ended it and then we got back together and, we are just so addicted to each other, but he is one of the most severe avoidants I’ve ever known. All of this is really comforting and validating. It’s a process of intensely connecting and then detaching. Connecting then detaching. If we hadn’t been friends for 15 years before we started dating, I would never have signed up for this. I’m definitely keeping my eyes open for other people that I just haven’t met anyone that I’ve had a connection with other than him yet.

One cannot change their atrachment style according to psychology research. What we do is expand consciousness and self awareness of our behaviors. We recalibrate but we don't change.

Girl so did i ...My child lives with me... Avoidant with a narc....SMH

I had to leave mine.....He's a fear avoidant, i am too... Difference is im working on secure attachment style ...He acts weird after spending time together which causes me to be anxious. Its just not healthy for me...

Very relatable presentation. Thank you

Thank you for this video ❤

I’m definitely moving away from anxious … i never knew i had that attachment style … self regulation is a must but i have to say i did date ppl but that just wasn’t me .. i was alone as well for a period of time but i honestly think my relationship had triggered me and push me into anxious …. Great tips though as of going out alone and pouring into urself ❤ some relationships do bring out the trauma u may have and u need a person to expose it so then u can work on it . U hit it though when u said the thoughts 💭 that go thru our 🧠 brain we definitely manifest it sad 😔… but again all the tips u have given 👌🏾🙌🏾

Aww love this so much! 💗

My Avoidant ex has played the breakup/makeup cycle for at least a good 50 times over the course of 2.5 years. it's so exhausting, I've finally given up. Her go to was the silent treatment, and blocking me over things that most couples would talk over in a half-hour conversation. She does the blocking routine, and I have to be honest. I've never been blocked by anybody prior to meeting her. She's 56 going on 14, and she's going to find out that the grass isn't so green on the other side at this stage of life. Good luck with that dating pool. Oh yes, I've finally fought fire with fire. She said she never chases. The last two rounds of NC were 4 months, and 47 days. She reached out both times. I'm at day 32 right now, and honestly I could give a rat's ass if she responds to me again. Her loss.

Sounds like avoidants should heal before dating period.

Dont.

I want to die grief and rage rape me my soul is tortured and tormented and haunted and raped I'm lonely as all hell I've been raped all my life I cannot wait to die MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE. MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION! that being said, all my life... I have given people access to me in ways that I should not have EVER granted them access now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs: FUCK OFF!! YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!! THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!! YOU MAY NOT COME IN!! ACCESS DENIED!! I've been programmed my whole life to be silent, conditioned to have no boundaries...

I get to see my DA basically once a week. He is very distant and aloof, but I have come to accept his attachment style. This gives me plenty of space. We chase each other, and it's not the best. I see movement, slow movement.

Love this knowledge

When a man ask what u bringing to the table he not talking about sex! What is your value to a man? Ask what that man need from u then take it from there!

How does what he put in his system affect u?

Wait, a boundary is saying the man cant drink a soda lol? Maybe I misunderstood. So your problem with that man was that his preference was sugar in his food?

What I’ve discovered about the avoidant man that I’m dealing with is that he is really insecure. He would always think I was angry with him when I wasn’t or that I didn’t like the sex when as soon as I saw him I was splash waterfalls lol. He came over one night and after a night of passion he left and I haven’t seen him since. Like he keeps in touch with little text messages like “Hey 👋🏾! Just was checking on you and seeing how you’re doing, hope all is well”. Like bro you just sucked on every toe I have including the camel toe lmao and you just pop up three weeks later with this weird text message?! This has literally been going on for 8 months. He reminds me of a skittish cat. You know the kind of cats that hide under the bed and wait for everyone to go to sleep before they’ll come out? Yea, that’s him lol. Like I haven’t been the most understanding but I do check myself and apologize when I’ve been downright unreasonable. One thing that I do like about him is that he is very honest and he tries to be considerate. It’s just when he has had enough, he will physically disappear for MONTHS! I haven’t seen him in 3 months. He will tell me he has been thinking about me, blah blah blah, but he won’t come and see me. I give up 🤷🏾‍♀️. I’m not going to beg. And yes I’ve told him that I want a relationship from the moment we met, and he told me he just wants the physical. I should’ve kept him blocked the first time I blocked him lmao. But I care about him so I just would keep letting him come back. Now I’m more reserved and am giving him his space. I let him contact me when he feels pulled to do so. I keep the convo light and friendly. But I’m seeing other people and looking for my person. He is really a sweet guy and I feel sad to know that he wants love but doesn’t know how to open himself up to it. Deep down, I feel avoidants don’t feel they are worthy of love and that’s why they reject it. Love feels dirty to them because they feel so unworthy of actually having it. That’s just my two cents.

Can two anxiously attached people work? Just curious... also this is great advice ❤

My ex last ex was but he would always mentipn it was probably going to end or ill get bored with him.... so im guessing its happened repeatedly... but he was draining... I never had to be an intiator of everything and i didnt like it

200 dates??? I be over it after 3 bad ones 😂 I am kind of both..... so im disregulated

It’s unfortunate the often avoidants don’t like the very behaviors that they exhibit done to them. Both need to invest to make the machine work. Not wanting to hear “you always” yet they think “you always complain” instead of also being curious instead of victimizing themselves and assuming demon role. I’m of the stance that it’s simple, regardless of attachment, a successful relationship is both people choosing each other and wanting to do whatever it takes to love the other the way they need to be loved, not how you yourself want to be loved.

Very interesting, it’s always made out that is only created in child hood. Not through adult traumas too. Can someone become an FA in adulthood ?

I love the way you speak and explain things.. you make me laugh. Great and helpful content.

Yes, you hit the nail on the head with this one. Working and pouring into yourself is extremely important in order to have a healthy relationship with your partner. I felt this one 🔥🙌🏾

Great message as always!

Exceptional video !👏🏽

👍🏾

Great video

Great content. Please stop with the loud high pitched sound effects though. Good insightful and clear video otherwise!

I really enjoyed watching this video. Laughed alot and learnt alot. Thanks for sharing 😊

You gave the example of avoidants not wanting to spend time with their partners, like every weekend. If seeing their partner only on the weekends is too much, maybe avoidants should only date avoidants or only have random hookups. Real relationships require direct and honest communication, time, effort, work, commitment, and energy. And it seems like an avoidant should be afraid to or wouldn't want to date someone who would accept their behavior. That person would either have low self-esteem or they are likely cheating.

Many good points. It’s a catch 22; women have to take care of themselves and not depend on someone to do it so by default, they develop a masculine energy. Personally, I think I can match that energy, but in a way that I’ll be supportive and I can still be myself without feeling threatened.

Great points!!!

This video is epic! At last, some REAL tips. Ty!

Love this, Vee!! From one curly-haired sis to another 😂

Great video mother ❤

Love this! Now let me go get the book 🔥

❤❤

😊!!!

I’m mostly secure, never felt more anxious than being in a 2 year relationship with an avoidant woman. Learning to how to self regulate and provide adequate space. Always interesting when it’s my idea for space, she comes back quickly and wants to connect. Then like a light switch, she wants space and has no idea when she’ll be back. I’m detaching from the outcome and this video helped out. Thanks!

Great video