5:35 so every time you did the deed you had to pretend you wanted to do it? lol as in you lied the entire relationship? That’s kinda juvenile and cruel

3:56 my god women can dissect any moment down to the smallest detail lol.

Being the catalyst for a married woman can be very difficult. I’ve been in both positions. I’ve been the married woman with a catalyst who ended up going bat shit crazy on me, and I’ve also been the catalyst 10 years later. I learned a lot of things NOT to do as a catalyst.. She needs your compassion, patience, understanding, and support. This is HER JOURNEY! And it takes time… Lots and lots of time. My advice is, don’t put your life on hold, waiting for her to choose you. If you love her, live your life, keep your opportunity lines open, focus on yourself and your own healing, and trust the process. You can not speed up the process for her in anyway that is healthy. You have to keep your hands off it. As hard as it is! Trust me, I know! Giving her an ultimatum is just fucked up. Especially if she has been with this man for a long time and built a life with him. Be compassionate and understanding or leave her alone

Great episode! I wanted to add to what you said about the husbands reaction to be extra nice and “win her over” after she had shared with him that she thinks she’s gay… I think this is a common reaction and a way for the husband to try and “stop” the inevitable. But what he doesn’t realize is this is actually very manipulative. It merely puts more guilt and confusion on your wife. Do you really want her staying another 2 years out of guilt? This will only make it worse and harder for both of you in the long run… When you love bomb her during this season, it literally just causes her to abandon herself even more, and do things out of shame and guilt, and not out of genuineness. This prolongs the healing process and causes more damage to you both. Also, examine your heart. Is your love bombing her coming from a place of fear and wanting to control the situation, or is it coming out of a place of genuine love and service? At the end of the day, it’s not authentic love. She needs space. If you love her and you love yourself, you will want her to be true to her and true to you. You’re just causing her to gaslight herself and stay for the wrong reasons. It will breed resentment later. I promise

I love your content! Thank you! I would love to see a video on the topic of “unwanted consensual” sex when you are closeted and in a hetro relationship. I believe I have truama from all the years of not listening to my body and forcing myself to have sex with my husband out of guilt and wanting to do what was right. Coming out at 34 now, and looking back at the severe anxiety I felt when he wanted sex. And also still dealing with unwanted resentment toward him. A podcast on this topic would be awesome!

So nice to hear an intelligent, mature conversation! Keep on keepin' on!

Why are there no more videos?

Angry lesbians - there are many happily married men and women that have fulfilling, intimate lives. You sound like men haters. You blame your husbands for not knowing you were gay, then you were dishonest with them about you willingness to be intimate. Don't you think they sensed that? Your inability to have honest communications with your husband was the biggest problem in your marriage. And that was caused by the fact that you didn't come to the marriage honestly. You knew something was wrong, but you wanted to be married. Did you know you were lesbian? I will take you at your word that you didn't, but you did both of you a dis-service by accepting less than what you wanted. Worse still, if you thought it was what you wanted and then came to the realization that you were gay and then put on the cap of wife "doing her duty." Nothing could be more dishonest or disrespectful. Most likely he wasn't perfect, but the responsibility for your lack of happiness lay squarely with you, not your husband. I wish you the very best in your new relationship, I hope it is what you always wanted a life with a loving partner to be. However, stop making the 15 mins of torture you had with your husband your stamp of Martyrdom. Don't judge the world of men based on the comments and statements made by your lesbian friends.

Thank you ladies!! 🌈💜

I can drink a hole bottle of scotch and it doesn't affect me at all

I am almost 32 with 3 kids ages 11, 5, 4. I am in my coming-out proces. I don't want to scare my kids by letting them see how much of a hard time i am having but i also don't want them to learn that Hidding your emotions when you're hurting is the right thing. Dealing with this while trying to be actively/emotionally present with the kids is for me mentally and emotionally exhausting.

I miss seeing you two

Yes lots of scammers on the sites, they usually want you to go to google chat or whatsapp or telegram...Minneapolis area here...

Melissa is too far away from the microphone. You’re fading in and out.

Dip and coffee! 😂 thoughts that’s what I heard too.

I like the intro.

🙏 'Promo SM'

My sister and i had lice 9 times in one year because there kept being break outs at school. It was awful

Wichita Kansas anyone? Lol

That "where's mine? ... You? Come here" was hot 🥵🔥💖

Great episode

Can you still win a person over even if they let you down easy and they did not say they did not like you but they said they are not looking for anyone and still in love with them?

Thank you for this episode. I'm 54 years old and struggling with being a blind person and coming out. Keep the podcasts coming.

Hi ladies! I knew I liked girls since the 1st grade. I was with my partner for 38 years til she became I'll and passed. That was 7years ago. I didn't date for years. It took me forever to get well again. I started taking tango and country dance lessons. I could not believe how so many younger women, supposedly straight that hit on me??? Go figure! I finally met a 37 year old woman. We have worked out so far. Remember, there is biological, chronological and psychological age. I have met 30 year olds that are 60 on all 3. I was courted by an 85 year old that was a wonderful dancer. Travels every where. Drives all over the country. I figure with my young woman. As long as we love, like and respect each and care for each other, go for it. The only thing I hate is when people think they need to give me their opinion! I tell them, what they think of us is none of our business 😂

Blue crush is one of my favorite movies! I have it on DVD. There also was a motocross movie on Disney called MotoCrossed and I was OBSESSED with it!

I seriously hate lesbians

Thank you so much for doing this podcast! I think I'm bisexual (but I'm possibly a lesbian with comphet). I have rarely felt any romantic feelings for men in my life (I have felt sexual feelings though) but I have felt romantic feelings for women many times.. I've only had one real (ish) relationship with a man.. and most of it was long distance so we never got that close.. I haven't had any relationships with women yet. It's so nice to hear other women who have some things in common with me.. although I've never been married and don't have kids.. I'm getting advice from your podcast and videos and feeling supported, thank you ladies :)

𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕞

Good to see you ladies on youtube again!

Glad to see you back on youtube! Love your podcasts too!

For me if I never have another relationship, it was still worth it.

I just looove your podcast! keep up the good spirits on your personal journey! 👍🏻😊

Oh my god, you’re speaking my soul. I can’t wait to see what sex/affection is actually suppose to be like. Sheeeesh

Such a smart and lovely boy you have:)

I know this is irrelevant, but mellisa would you please share which watch you are wearing, otherwise your podcasts are great, I enjoyed every single one of them, greetings from Germany.

*Gay panic intensifies*

No offense but lesbians just don't marry men. It's great you're happier with women but you're simply not a lesbian. There's women in the middle east who would be killed for being out and they still know from childhood. You don't have to be "exposed" to gay people or gay friendly environments to find out... you simply know because you fall in love with girls and not boys as a little girl. It's simple, it's just confusing to you because you aren't gay. The "lesbian who have been in the game their entire lives", also known as all lesbians, are annoyed with you because you are appropriative bisexuals. Real lesbians would rather kill themselves before touching a dick, and you managed to do it for years on end and even birth multiple of its kids. You're no homosexual. Be more honest with yourself and maybe lesbians will respect you more.

I imagined you completely differently, it’s like watching a film after reading the book. You’re beautiful, but so different to Melisa and Alli in my head 😆 thank you for what you’re doing, you’re our community for those who don’t have the support groups you had!

Hi. For those of us who resist signing up on Instagram, do you have access to the map elsewhere? I'm from the Greater Vancouver area of British Columbia, Canada.

I want to tell you guys that you have helped me so much. I’m sure you have heard this so many times. I have a personal story that I want to share but feel too vulnerable to do so in this public space.

I found you on tiktok and now here...yay!

Light and funny... ❤

So coming from someone who had lice sooooo many times as a kid to the point my mom glued my hair to my head and used lavender and lice sprays to prevent them, chopped my hair to my shoulders twice from down to my butt. The best thing to kill them in a quick way is rubbing alcohol. Literally my mom would put a towel on my face pour it over my head comb through with a lice comb and the lice was gone it would fall off dead.

Hello 👋 I didn’t realize you have KZbin always listened on the podcast. #HelloFromSouthAfrica ❤️

I came out in 04 I was 24 luckily shows like will and grace helped.

Happy to see you back on youtube stuck at home with shingles😂 (somehow I got it at 29 ) and trying to stay an arms distance from my 4 year old lol so happy to be able to it on the couch and listen to you girls

Heads up and charades are fun games.

Where I can donate? Great episode, like always!

Lol when you said you have a bad memory I literally couldn’t relate more and also I’m the girl who doesn’t know how to date around and I also don’t know how to be like bye to the people I’m not interested in 😂

I found your podcast a month ago on Spotify. I don’t know why it took me so long to look to see if you two were on KZbin. Absolutely love your content! I relate to you guys a lot and I love all your stories and insight. You two are truly inspirational. Thank you 🙏🏻