Thanks. I'll let her know. Ha ha ha. She loves any added attention and mention of her name!

Thanks so much for thinking of me and prayers. I am doing better today--plus God--i know is HIM--shamed me first thing this morning as I noticed a saint for today who was born with severe disablities but was joyous and holy even as a little child, suffering terribly and unable to move his limbs or even sit up. I'm going to talk about this in a little video in a while when I get on top of my spine pain better. But it really did shake me up and got my attention, and stopped my self-pitying, grumpy hermit attitude. God bless you and Merry and Blessed Christmas very soon!

@theJoyfulChristianHermit you don't have a bad attitude

@@lonepheasant3489 I was very grumpy last night about being sick and frustrated by catching something when I should not have assumed the person was not contagious. I'm not a pleasant sufferer anymore. But I got my shake up this morning by this person with palsy so bad he couldn't even sit up--who died in 690. Great attitude he had--holy, too! He's a saint for today! Perfect timing to straighten me out.

And you, too, jiffyfun! May you be blessed beyond all expectations! God is so wonderful--even dragging me out of my pity pits! ha ha ha! Grumpy Hermit here no more!

@@hendrikeinde6856 thank you, Hendrik. Merry Christmas and God bless you all through this holy season. How are you? So kind of you as always

Dear Joyful, how happy we May be living the sacramental way trying to come and stay in a State of Grace. And that is because Jesus wanted to come in our world.

@ so beautifully stated-poignant and true! That says it all, doesn’t it? Thanking you for beautiful thought and reality!

Reading this was very uplifting. Wishing you a wonderful holiday ❤️

@@jiggyfun807Thank you! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

@@koine1979 I’m getting the laptop back I think tonight if get a grip on mid back to drive to Apple Store and back. Want to respond to this marvelous sharing of the party and of Kristen. I’m praying for their meeting to be providentially life altering and spiritually life altering in however God wants Sean to “view” his disability.

@@lonepheasant3489 this Scrioture is so is so true-but it takes courage from Christ to even attempt to turn someone back from especially the worst which seems denying, and turning from Jesus, God, Holy Spirit and the Body of Christ and Christ as Head of: The Church! They all are interwoven, including the Church (between the two of us, we share last name). ❤️

I thought I’d written long response but it doesn’t seem to be here! Your art history and detailed knowledge-photographic or image memory-is of such benefit and illumination for us and yes-I wish we could figure a way to feature in a video your own art with you discussing the religious and spiritual impact and meaning. Perhaps someway to do so will come to us, either one or both! Your knowledge of the Madonna art, the history and design, style, artist technique and background biographically is astonishing and illuminating! Thank you! What a magnificent uplift and true difference your input has on any aspect of which I read of Mary. My distractions of the temporal in even selling off unused as well as hobby items o can no longer physically stand to use, and in a way mentally and emotionally can’t “stand” to use in that the soul has moved beyond some forms of matter distraction several years ago. As a mother and in style I was a generalist, varied, in life and interests for the children’s growing up years. Being a specialist is more to bring successful accomplishment. Multi interests and talents tend to scatter the mind and the actions. Now I am scattered in ridding out, trying to get some money for items to sell, hopefully. Want to donate to Rev Vincent to help people in southern Nigeria. I also reflect on the time period in which my creative ideas took charge, and I accumulated the tools and materials for varied creative projects even if good plans. But life decisions for me would be truncated or altered by God trying to form me to His ways. He’d allow situations which then would up-end my creative plans for this and that of more temporal nature. I could just load the truck and take to thrift shop. But I feel obligated to sell what I am able to have money for Nigeria fund. I suppose that assuages my guilt for foolish expenditures on what were for good ideas and plans but not what God had in Mind! I guess as easy to list online and wait to see if any worm-takers-fish to bite and pay a tidbit, and come to take away. But you chose wisely from early on. You knew your path and did as God desires if you, as well! Now you are a contributor of quality and purpose whereas I am a Disabled Dabbler 😅

@@christophermanley3602 my laptop is in repair for 8 or so days

Now can’t even get my live to load. God’s weaning me from news re the laptop. Ha ha ha. Harder to use phone, at least for me. God Knows!

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit He will do that, for sure. He prunes us. I was just thinking that if you record a video on an iPhone, there’s often a way to upload directly to the KZbin app. I did it this weekend.

@ somehow my phone was not allowing access to photos by KZbin. So think I have it so it will recognize them now. Not sure but hoping

You and I are spiritual soul mates and have other inclinations in kind, as well. Yes, Let their be LIGHT! The island farmhouse I bought that was not disclosed to me with all kinds of stuff wrong and should have been listed as a "tear-down" was a total gut, as well. I lived in there in process, also, but my back was not as fused--but I also did not have a pump in my abdomen with liquid DeLaudid keeping my lumbar and legs with less pain as is now. The pump uses 1/300th of the medication as the oral tablet types because a tube is into the spinal cord dural space, thus directed instead of other parts of the body absorbing. Unfortunately, the tube must be above where the pump is, and the pump has only the abdominal cavity to squeeze it into. It is the size of a hockey puck, lovely steel. Reflled every couple of months. But in my case, the head, neck and thoracic are painful as Arachnoiditis even if locused in the lumbar (L4-5 in my situation) is neurological because the messed up, clumped nerves from spinal cord sheathing gets punctured or slit causing fluid and blood to seep in and cause the nerves to abnormally clump--causing all manner of neurological symptoms, high-level intractable pain, and is progressive. it's truly a miracle I am not bedridden by now--and why the neurosurgeon a year and half ago was so amazed and pleased and said to keep doing the gardening and renovating (as if I have an option with the latter due to finances and handymen take gross advantage and are varied in skills and "issues" as I have found out here, repeatedly. I just need help lifting stuff! I suppose some are not natural, but opiium originated from the poppy. As Mayo Clinic site explains, if one has an addicitve personality or previous addition problems, even if one has high level pain one can become addicted from the pai meds. But otherwise, no, not at all is one addicted when one has severe and chronic pain. For one thing, the meds only tamp down the pain a bit; it never takes it all away. One cannot be deluded thinking it will or will be so disappointed and no amount of increases will take it all away--but will eventually with high enough sedate and have , I suppose, a deep sleep. Would take me a whole lot to ever have that good of sleep. They are to help the person not go insnae from pain and to hopefully have enough helped to be able to function somewhat. You are never "high". You just feel pain, but not as severe, not fully debilitating. If one feels "high" when one is on pain meds for severe chronic pain, it indicates the person has an addictive personality or has been addicted in past and is not being honest.... Feeling "high" is the marker. I have never felt high, sad to report. Would be nice break from the pain. I'm realistic and educated myself on it, as well, from the major sources: Cleveland and Mayo Clinics I found reliablel regarding the pain meds and Arachnoiditis. :There is not much reliable on Arachnoiditis as some have strated writing theories as if fact and claim their treatments can "heal" the person. It is not at all feasible to heal or get better from Arachnoiditis. Thanks be to God it is RARE. I don['t want anyone to ever have this type of pain. It is also very unique so people are extremely prone to make judgments or to assume things since the person can push through but then collapse and in my case the intesties have paralyzed and there are no GI doctors who are familiar with it. Most are not. The neurosurgeon just knew how to identify it and basically how it happens. He's chief neurosurgeon over tri-state area and has been educated and trained in top eastern med facilities and Oxford in UK, and premed Vangerbilt--another uni was Duke, and forget the other in US but top ranked--and no current studies undetaken for Arach b ecause there are not enough who actually have it to make doing studies worthwhile. It's exciting if I get a doctor who's even heard of it. I think more are at least having head of it, but that's it, so it's up to me to do the deep-dive reserach to figure out my ailments that come from it as they can be from something other--ilke the intestines. Had to get everything else ruled out. Hassle. But for me to not be bedridden--a gift from God. There was a viewer earlier on who seemed to disblieve for she was in bed with it. I felt so terrible for her. I am so blessed for having had it for over 37years. Happened in the surgery in 1987--the one i which I died in recovery after and had to have more surgery. Figured it may have happened in the rush of the second srugery.That's the scene. I don't have wine or other alchohol but did pure a tablespoon of borubon into my pumpkin mix. Have to be careful for the kidneys plus anemia--a lot of stuff does not help iron absorption or conflicts with kidneys. And yes, Arachnoiditis is not going to be helped by a drink or really anything other than opioids. I try all other kinds of stuff and take all kinds of supplmeents that might help with pain. I figure a little help or being healthier will help me cope better mentally and emotionally if nothing else.

@ your spirit is commendable!

The only side effect is can be constipating. Of course, if a person does not have severe pain or takes more than what will take edge off--such as to sedate or overdose, not good! Or to take if person is feeling "high" which means they have an addiction issue and should not be on that medication--so they are not good for those reasons. As diabetics are "dependent" on insulin, a sorry sack with Arachnoidits in the bag of life will be dependent on pain meds. Without them, there would be suicide. As it is, suicide is typical, on-going temptation to an Arachnoiditis patient. I praise God for the opioids and finally receiving the care I needed for the 34 years prior. I am grateful for the one doctor in Midwest who in 2009 when I coudln't stop sobbing and thought I was having a breakdown or something--not sure what--but his nurse got on the phone with me and said no, you are in way too much pain! She knew me from being a patient there, but I did not have the ARachnoiditis diagonsis until 5 1/2 years ago, here! Still I had my records of the surgery and russhed one and the long hospital stay and being declared permanently disabled from intractable pain. That dovtor prescribed some low dose Norco (Hydrocoone) and I'm ever indebted to him. My surgeon and GP years prior had prescribed that but did not tell me to be on it steadily which is what is required; instead one is simply trying to put out the pain like an out -of-control fire when it gets raging. That one doctor's nurse in Midwest explained ot me to keep on it steadily and why, and it made sense, and it helped other than the headache sieges which were the WORST of excruciating and sickening, crazy-making pain attachs from neck/head. I had the fifst one a cople days after the surgery so woul dhave been July 30-31 in hospital, I was on a morphine drip then, and they tried increasing the drip to no avail and then used ice packs around my neck and head, and I just ahd to hang on for dear life until it eased off. Had them ever since that surgery--strange. But when I got this pump surgically implanted four years ago Oct. 20, it affected m yability to eat many foods--but oddly enough, I have not had the extreme level of spinal headache "pain sieges." I'd still have the times of being sick with pain and headache some worse, but more of a collapse type thing for a couiple-three days or so,w tih being in bed--not the violent and excruciating, frightening spinal headache SIEGES. In CA my GP who cared so much--would have a neighbor drive me to his office or ER and would inject me with what he finally got to work--uge amount of demoral and vistiril both, that would literally knock me out for a good 24 hours or more and sedated another 12-24 hours. the neighbors would then keep watch on the children and me, as I'd be gotten back to bed right awah before it would have been impossible for me to walk. We lived close to the hospital and his office. A pediatrician who knew me in Midwest did for a short while have a home health nurse come, and I had a letter from Dr. O in CA as to the dosage and combination, and so I had a short time period of being given injections at home. The nurse would come with me screaming and my son or if daughter home, watiing for the nurse as it was really horrific--the spinal headaches. then I was given by a man who had a head injury, a couple BC aspirin caffeine (powdered) packets, and I found if I took one or two of those when it was barely strarting, I could ward off the spinal headach sieges to a point I could get through them.--but still a horrible ordeal and such a hopeless typ eof pain siege. God would give me consolations, though, spiritually. My mother after she passed would help--one time contacting my aunt by literal temporal landline phone.... seriously. I talk of that in a previous video. Amazing! Wanted my aunt to know and pray, it turned out, to contact me andf ind out I was in a terrible spinal headache pain siege. So my aunt prayed. Nothing other she could do, but my mom used to cal her when I'd have them and my mom in AZ and e in Midwest and my aunt in same town.When my mom was alive would call her sistger and ask her to try to help me. My mom would get frantic as she'd tend to call and hear my voice and know I was in a terrible siege. She witnessedthem off and on as did my dad, when they'd visit or one time I tried visiting them. Whattever it was wit that pump surgery--helped not have the terrible spinal headaches. Bad one tongith so I'll stop yapping : e-yapping! God bless you, CArole! I'm not sure the opiods I'm on are "poppy" derivatives. however are made, natural or not, I praise God for them for I'd e dead in a wrong way without. Only so much a person can take of pain at a certain level. I was tested in 1987 early winter, 5 months after surgery. The man doing the testing had to stop because he said he could not take it himself, anymore, as he put the electrode sensations up beyond what he said grown big men would be crying and screaming to stop, and he was way past that point with me. He had tears in his eyse and said he could not believe how much pain I tolerated, but God has given me a very high pain tolerance. My surgeon wanted it checked as for awhile he htought maybe I was psychological case or cold not handle pain as he was trying to assess how much pain it was, for. coul dnot sit long or stand in one place long at all--five minutes or so. NOw with opioids round the clock and the pump as well, I have been able to stand more until my mid-bak now has gotten so seereand th eheadaches have increased in level of pain to very severe--constant they are and ahve been since the accident in 1984. The human body can adapt to so much! God is so good in that! But even wtih my high pain tolerance and on meds now I am strugglingw tih the md back and these headache levels. zIn fact, I've had to take two break through meds today, but I was able to do more "walking around type tasks" until finally the mid back was screaming at me. Ha ha ha. My surgeon back then felt terrible about what happened in that surgery. He also aplogized for questioning me, but I did not blame him for I wondered myself if somehow I was becoming a mental case or something and somehow was not able to handle pain that I sould be able to handle. but no, when the man didd th nerve conduction test and used the electric impulses to test when it would become intolrable, he never got to apoint htat I said was intolerable as none of it had gotten to the point of what teh pain was that I had aleady. So the mind and body and emotions can adapt to much by God's grace. This current headache and mid-back is not falling into line, though! Shame on them! ha ha ha If my psyche and body can begin to tolerate the pain beter, then I can cut back on the breaktorugh meds, but given that I now more now about Arachnoiditis since I know what I have that iwhen wrong and how it is--I may need to prepare for inceae of meds on-going or not able to function as much as I'd tried to function. In two years though, I have delclined it seems more than in 20 years or somethinglike that. Hard for me to judge, though, of course. but ti's come on hard and fast lately, not the slow it always has been--very gradual. Enjoy the evening and God bless you and all that goodness of God in LIfe! d's life!

@@caroledrury1411 The good of it is the Holy SPIRIT. The temptations to despair or feeling overwhelmed, or until the videos, really, I had struggled with a hopelessness and of not even trying to share the spiritual realities of His Real Presence in us and all about us, His being all to our nothing, and I was really always feeling as if disappointment to God and to my parents and children and to Mary and holy ones on other side of the very thin veil. So all the being down and discouarged is me with the devil coming in for whenever I put out the "Open House sign." I have to a very strong and loving guadian angel who I ignore and forget about qiute abit--consdiously. but my angel never forgets about me, amnd I'm so grateful. So it's not my spirit and not my anything. It's God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Mary and varoiuis tryisaints known to me and those I've forgotten of people I grew up with --even teachers who were so good to me and spoiled me, and my grandmother I knew and the one I never knew on earth--my gradnfathers, my parents--those on other side who are always helping me even if I do not ackonwlege. NONE is from me, that I do know, for I just keep trying and telling myself to keep trying. I've had years of deep upsets and people having to pep talk me in big ways. Siucide is famliar struggle for Arachnoiditis sufferers due to the extreme level of pain even with opiiods. Never a break from it and just worsens. But, some days are worse than other days--but always there and never a break. But, then, did Jesus ever have a break? Do children born with terrible afflictions ever have a break or ever have jknown the childdhood and teen and young adult years I was blessed with ? No. And even so, this that I have--God has blessed mem so much as I metinoed the viewer who wrote and wondered how I had this ARach when she was far worse and much younger and bed-ridden. It made her sad or such and I think di dnot watch or listen anymore. I get it! I did not watch anything of people on TV or movies or news for a long, long time--many eyars. It was too upsetting seeing them sit or walk and not every stpe or each moment severe pain in their bodies.. Pain is iway up so lots of wtiitng and writing tonight. I must stop and read Scirputre and pray or something, and stop writing of what is not of any need or point or helpfulness . Just a topic and my trying to escape too much pain waiting for the breakthrough pil to hopefully hekp a little. I cannot recall if I took my 12 hour one, but I can take two so may need to if I cannot remember if I took the one ornot. When it gets lke this I need to write down. I tis the pain that is messing with my ability to think. It does that but withit worse pain it is making it allthemore difiutl. All my tasks. did moving around types--over did it,.

I'll ry the tart cherry juice! Thanks. I'm getting very tired and overwhelmed wtih keeping going. In the temporal aspect I am working on a chart of tasks, one lists of standing ones and one of what can be done in bed. Then I will list out. Maybe a list of those that involve more walking and bending and movement which I can do far better than just standing, and I do not sit if at all can help. it, and I mostly don't need to ever except short drive on rare occasions. I have a truck and seat is built well and truck up high off road which helps.

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit when I was young I damaged a disc in my lower back. That was 40 years ago yet even today I'm unable to stand long. Back problems are so very hard. Effects everything you do. People with good backs don't understand.

@ I am soooo sorry, MISTYGarden! You KNOW how sorry I am that you had that happen so many years ago! About same time as my mine. You hit the nail on the head of how difficult to describe and how incomprehensible for others as backs house the spine and spinal cord from which all nerves emanate. Such a unique, distinctive, and fully engaged suffering, is back pain. As my late Down syndrome friend Wesley once said so profoundly, to me, as I was driving him to his apartment after Mass, “God put a cross in your back”. Then he giggled his own unique laugh, pleased with a truth as if he and Jesus’ secret. I looked over at him and told him how very special he is to God. What can one say other, of such an insight from can. especially an angel of a little man of God born prescient in God’s Pure Love? You have such a cross in your back, too!

@@MISTYGarden-l5c There is no way they can poossibly except our mothers and dads, but especially our mothers. My mom grieved and felt helpless every time she'd call and would hear my voice and could tell I was in a terrible pain siege. She new anything I did was going to mean a pain siege would come extra much over the all-the-time pain. I think it made it harder for my sisters in a way, although they did not want it to be that way, but they wanted equal time and caring. My mom felt more for my children's having a lack due to the divorce and their dad playing naughty with the child support and trying to cause me more troubles. My sister expressed to me--and felt bad but was in therapy and was being told to express her feelings--that she was upset that our mother when they were visiting their home before Christmas spent time shopping for outfits for my children instead of focusing on hers, getting them outfits. While it seems petty, it is an example of how feelings can get skewed by others, and my mom would make comments of "those poor children" with my not able to work, etc so my income way down, on top of the low support and sometimes not paid in full or he'd skip a month just enough knowing hard to get into court. But the therapists with my sister's breakdown (separate situation but related in some ways likely from childhood and birth order, plus very sensitive and did not handle ou rmom's temper well--which I tended to. understand why our mom had frustration with our dad who was a drinker when we were young, and our mom's dad had died suddenly at a crucial age for a girl when she was young--takes a lot of understanding of people to know why--not that it makes it right or anything. My sister knew she should not feel that way about our mom's spending some time shopping for my kids while there, but where I lived we did not have shopping mall close, and I guess they had all gone to the mall as an outing--but i blame the therapist for encouraging my sister to use that time period and example to be "strong' and to tell me how she "felt". The therapist did not have a clue what I was going through or that we lived in.a small town in SoCal and my parents would not be driving to San Diego to a Mall at their ages. I told my sister how sorry I was that Mom did that, took a couple hours away from their focus on her children to be thinking of outfits for mine for Christmas--but it just goes to show how twisted it all can be for other family members, an my sister made it clearl that she felt bad for what had happened, and I was glad she expressed her feelings for she' was having trials of her own as she was born with some type of chemical imbalance or disposition to melancholy or something like that. Our mother finally had friends tell her she needed to not be depressed over what happened to me. It was horrible--was over the top bad things one after another, and my sister could not deal with it, either. I blame an over-zealous therapist my sister had, and having then been in a doctoral program for clinical psychjologist licensing etc., I saw the variety of persons in that program--some who were in it due to they still needed therapy themselves and were in therapy and thought, ""Well, I coiuld do that--listen to people like me and make lots of money, and advise people..." It's not really a career for those who need therapy themselves, ongoing. But, I was glad that my sister was expressing her feelings rather than bottling them in. It also belped me understand that birth order can really affect some children, that I was not an easy younger sister for my sister to have, and that she coulld not possibly grasp what back pain does to a person. I have to admit that it twists our emotions and took me a long time to master my emotions around my own children better. I left damage, i know. Bottom line of all this is that it takes a tremendous amount of forgiveness of otthers to be loving people. Children, too, ought be taught about how important is forgiveness or it will chain them for years or even all their lives. All that was not my sister's fault, either. I wish my mother had recognized the sibling issues still going on and underlying her other daughter's upset. But we are all just humans trying, and my sister now has a different perspective, years later. We all grow. hopefully.

@theJoyfulChristianHermit I think problem with Therapist is they have a very worldly view of things and not a good understanding of the people surrounding the client. Good job to you for persevering and clinging to God.

@@MISTYGarden-l5c drunk teen hit us (then husband and myself) in our car at stop sign two houses from sour rental home at the time. Aug 22, 1984. Daughters 8, 6, and son 16 mos at home with sitter. Headache constant ever since, neck and lumbar damaged and constant pain ever since. Drunk kid and drunk friends not arrested, but security patrol was there for hour waiting for police to come and told police boys weren’t really drunk and boys will be boys. He new kid’s wealthy dad as it turned out. My husband about three weeks later said he did not want to be married anymore. God allowed and arranged as God needed my husband out of my life so Jesus Christ would be my one and only. I was His! I know you understand and likely are in similar circumstance in His Real Presence!

@@MISTYGarden-l5c God Bless You. Praying for your cross that is your spine-cross❤️

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit O wow. So u been going through this for 40 years. May I ask where wreck happened at.? That's amazing cops took an hour to respond. Yes! I was in a life changing car wreck in Christmas of 1983 that changed my life. Was hit by truck. I received minor injuries but my friend was nearly killed and still suffers today. So wonderful you listened to God's call. I've never done well in the world. People fail us but GOD NEVER DOES. 🙏

It's better after bed rest but conistant pain head,neck spine legs feet--affects intestines wno so anywhere nerves go can be pain or nause or neurological issues. But I am best in bed, but that is not good for me as I will become paralyzed faster and have more probelms, and I do't jhave the money for long term care, so I push to try to keep going. But the pain is such now that the brain just leaves a lot--goes out--distracted to get away--and it is causing memory issues now as I am not "here" as much, not in the focus of the temporal. Hard to explain. My recall is worsening because the mind is always tryinig to get away from the pain now, including the worse headache all the time. I've done amazingly well to be this good having had it this long. The neurosurgeon over a eyar ago was amazed and very peased with how well I was doing, but I had a rough last year and a half--right after I saw him. Kidneys failed from the meloxicam they put me on years ago--anti-inflammatory that they said would help pain because they are so (in other states) freaked about pain meds. When pain meds are the only thing that will help pain, they need to script them, so isntead I had med that is known (I found out when my kidneys failed) to cause kidney failuer and liver failure and damage. Thankfully I think my liver is doing okay. Not sure, but praying so. Kidneys improved after being off the medicine but was a grace of GOD, for sure! Not sure if I have damage as too much population increase and not enoiugh doctors so had a nurse practitioner, but my GFR returned to good level as I went off the Meloxicam and also put myself on a "kidney diet" which I reserached and went off any food that wasn't helping them. Trulyu was a gift from God that they improved so much in the filtration rate. I was at point of needing dialysis if not. the med caused it! I needed pain meds all those years andthankfully for one doctor in MIdwest but too late for my kids to have a less agonized mom to live wtih, and six years ago moved and have a God-given pain doctor who knew somehow to trust me plus heeded my records, and then got an MRI and the neurosurgeon seeing the ARachnoiditis right away--they are very good to me, and I;m trying the best I can to keep going. I am so sorry I am in such a house mess, though. I got the dogs jsut to force me to get up from bed in the morning 3 years ago. It gsts to the point that yiu cannot make the brain fore yourself, can no longer do mind over matter. THANKS FOR PRAYERS. This video is just me having a good talking to, to myself, trying to sort through and pep talk and still I went off topic and into this or that past situation, but I was away from the pain! ha ha ha

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit Your a trooper. 🙏🙏

@@theJoyfulChristianHermitwow such courage

@@MISTYGarden-l5c As you and all of us "soldiers of tohe cross"! I have noticed that thy hymn, Onward, Christian Soldiers, that we sang in public grade school music class in the mid-and later 50's--and would have earlier but before I was school age, is not seen nor heard nor sung in the last few decades, it seems. I don't even know if it remains in hymnals. I admit I tired of it in music class, the strong, march-like rhythm. i prefereed more melodic songs, but the words were strong and good as far as the reality of the Christian life and of needing to KEEP GOING. Keep taking steps one after another and for the good and the righteousness of our Savior and Faith. In fact, to keep marching along in Christ Who Is our ever present help no matter what the dangers and also the joys. The words are a good prayer--but It think the analogy to war, marching as to war--is too offensive to many. Reality is, we are in wars including our inner spiritual combats as well as outer with the world, ,fighting ourselves to not get ensnared be it the outer temporal world or even too much of the temporal world of the Church that we humans have brought in with us.

@theJoyfulChristianHermit That is a good song. I haven't heard it in years. I really believe the school shootings and lack of God in schools is the problem. Really man apart from God is not a good thing.

I absolutely LOVE the miracles that God brings to us in such humility on our part--as in desperation and down on your knees in snow with sleet and chill and snow (there is a section in Daniel that has repetitive versicles (if that's a word that states Wind and rain, Praise the Lord, Chill and snow, Bless the Lord--well, in that type of drum-beat rhythm and the harshest of weather, and maybe it's Bless the Lord or Praise the Lord--my head is a ruination of all manner of things. Anyway, I had that in my mind as I read of your first miracle and down on your knees and calling upon the Most High in such utter and abject neediness but sincere and solid faith! And there it was--a surprise twist and you threaded that gas tank yourself after no-go many tries. The tooth-ache was really, truly getting to me just reading about it, and there you were in crunch time of unable to suffer it any longer--and placed your need so respectfully, lovingily (dear God) and with heartfelt sincerity to God the Physician and Healer. Your Spouse and Constant Companion, your Artistry Inspiration and Director, both. The immediacy of the healing is astounding given how those sufferings throb and ache relentlessly. "Surely God is In this Place...." That's what I think it was Abraham or Isaac or one of the OT patriarchs said when he won over the battling with the angel who left him with a gimp hip. I think that was the time and place and what was said--Callead it Beth-el from then on which means house of God or God is in this house/place. I also love your wager with God, done in loving camaraderie and knowing one another so intimately that He has kept you painting, and He obviously is delighted with the results! I'm not sure what kind of "understanding" which is the word you used and much better word than wager, but I am convinced God would understand and appreciate a fun and well-intentioned wager, too!

@ Wow a heartfelt answer that is greatly appreciated. Was it Jacob who wrestled with the angel? I recently came across the Paul Gauguin painting not knowing that he had taken it from a sketch by Rembrandt. Thank you for your Expression of love and kindness across the Digital universe. Often this can shine through greater than the person in front of us.

@@caroledrury1411 Yes--it was Jacob! Thank you! I am i too much pain plus too much in the mind and on the mind of multi-tasking here and also still using news as a means to distract from pain, also. I want to wean off far more as it is mental clutter I do not need. I will try sticking to headlines or not at all, but I flop on bed in such pain that I've become dependent on "popcorn" type distraction--not particularly nutritional, etc. You comprehend. Totally agree that message and meaning--the medium is the message as Martin McKuen (sp not corrrect at all!) famously said but am fairly certain he did not mean this more esoteric view of the medium. Yet it is truth! Expression--even the Message itself can be through the Medium of the Spirit of Soul.

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit 🌿

@@caroledrury1411 I looked and got more educated on the natural v suynthetic. I assumed mine were natural and they are, but there are some that are synthetuc, Ive had the synthetic type after surgery--and ironically did not have as good effect other than if also on other. Of course, such as morphine is made from natural--from poppy seed and/or other natural--hemp?--forget already as headache is worse when I wake up and pain high as i'm o 12 hour ext release form--they are manufactured and in tablet form. However, in past was on that which was lab -created and was a God-send. It was horrific and cruel how the one state in particular was so rigidly set in ignorance of opioid usage without consideration or distinguishing medical need or condition, medical records, etc. No one wants this amount of suffering or to have to be on medications regardless; but those whose lives would be critically harmed wtihot, they are Godsends. I pray for the souls of those who so quickly judged and especially caused my children to suffer so much with their mother in horrific pain especially the sieges. Was in humane to me but what it did to young children to have to helplessly be there essentially fending for themselves while I suffered out-of-my-mind sieges and at other times unable to go to their events or be for them when they needed me--well, I pray for them to be shown and to not have it held against them. One doctor i particular knew me growingup and his parents and my parents good ffriends, his mother and my aunt childrehood and adult friends--and I did look at him and said, myself in tears, that some day he would so regret and would come back upon him in a way tragic for what he was causing my childrento suffer by denying me the pain meds I'd been given by my CA surgeon and GP who KNEW and was in my records the intractable pain and disabled by it. He suffered something later on with his son, very tragic. I had alreayd long since written him a note and said I was sorry I had said such to him, for I realize he had no idea of knowing about such matters even if a doctor. (Society, and media especially, have done so much damage to those who truly need what the pain meds are for. Here I have had it, too, particularly the young ones just out of med school or nursing training, etc. My pain doctor, older and had been an anesthesiologist but wanted to help people with pain so left an easier and very lucrative practice for this other more difficult, told me they are being indoctrinated by fear and ignorance in their schooling and training now due to the gov't and media ignorance in not distinguishing those in need from those not and sadly addicts or those who wanted more and more after surgeries due to addictive personalities--and however they'd get more and more by whatever means. It's just another form of added suffering for pain patients to endure from society and including many in the medical world. But even relatives or friends behind my back who don't know--it's just so easy for assumptions based not on fact. Of course, it is tragic the many addicts, but what trhey cause others is cruel even if of ignorance from lack of knowing facts and not differentiating. Yet I have noticed people who are not doing all they can to manage the pain,, which I consider is a pain patient's responsibilty. Shameful when they just think a pill will take away all pain. It does not at all. Just tamps it down enough to endure and keep from suicide, basically. Help the person keep going. I'd not without GOD.

I have one that is the one an older woman, at the time, wanted terribly much, so wanted me to bequeath it in my will. Seriously loved it. Perhaps i ought to wear that one when I tribute Flannery, although for Advent (or Lent--especially the black background is extra wonderful for Lent!) the purple works well, liturgically. Ha ha ha! A chunk of all these details are my odd sense of humor. Flanner had a different sense of humor. But she accomplished actual fruit in the gift of writing and her marvelous mind. She knew theology well, and I am really more interested in practical application of supernatural realities in our everyday lives. i want my videos to be at least decent, not the frizzy-haired or maybe better described as fizzy (and strong) alcoholic drinks.thus being all over the place. This one I had mentally planned with the writings to share, but then my phone froze so thought I'd not photographed St. Teresa's writings, but then there it was in another photo area. Good grief! I also did not work on the house yet again today but got beets roasted with onion, garlic and herbs not yet done-in from freezing tempsl. Mid back is on high-pain alert now. I MUST get it together here! This is just a fizzy drink gone too far: Haywire Hermitage! What are you artisting now? You are prolific!

LOVE this! Iooked up Miguel's adopted last name--supposedly from an ancestor. Want to read more of the meaning and derivation and other uses of Saavedra. I'm of course thrilled with how your mind finds something unique of interest, seen out of as I'm going to say the muck of the pigs' pen you seem to find a pearl some other cast before the swine, and one remained that you notice. You snatch it from the yuck and mess, from the snorting and cavorting pigs as well as from among the slumbering hams. Then you wipe and polish and begin studying all surfaces, seeing in that pearl images and thoughts, and hearing inspirations spoken from, yes, Cervantes Saavedra himself, thought-flashing from heaven to your Louisiana school-boyish adult intrigue: clarity Adventus comes in holy variance of contextual meaning! Bravo! Gloria!

All through, with, in God's omniscience and giving us breath and mind, heart and soul. I pray any one at all can benefit in any way. this includes, seriously, those who discover they cant tolerate my topics of sharing. We can benefit from learning what is not for us in any given present moment.

Seems ever since that lady started leaving comments, and even now not nasty ones but corrective as she is in that mode--someone has been causing the comments to be lowered in percent. No big deal, but that seems to be the direct correlation. I realize it is her right to dislike and lower the rating percent, but I had kindly and given reasons why she'd want to find videos to watch that did not frustrate her or make her disagreeable. I guess it does not matter at all. I will ask this man who knows about such things. I also know more why I am not concise. I maybe should write my video an then read it. I am better at writing, but that other lady who has a hermit blog so detracted me over the years that she put a kind of Catholic kiss of death on me as being an illegal and fraud hermit--did it enough andlong enough that there were not many readers. But my lengthy videos are too long for most people to listen to, and what makes them long is my going off on incidentals or other tributaries of thought here and there and everyhwere! Too much and non essential. This video I just posted is only myself talking over with myself and God, in essence and reality, my problem I'm haing with pain and all thle mental clutter and mind noise I create to avoid awareness of what has become too much pain--mid-back--if I'm up for very long. I guess I could get a printer and write my videos, and then read them. I need the printer to print out what I write as reading from my phone photo of it is problemeatic. My recall is shot due to the pain being too much; my memory is as noodels overcooked and gummed together. the lady has not commented today, but usually there have not been people hitting dislike--while I cannot see it, the percentage is not 100 anymore but lower, percentage as in one person as it is computed by number of likes and dislikes,b ut youtube only shows me the likes. I know there is a dislike if the percent is not 100. Dumb, but it is kind of pointless for someone who dislikes my approach to even watch. Still ,it is her right if I post, or anyone's to dislike or not an to express that. Not sensical, but the person has not been typical Christian type.

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit Hi JC Hermit, I have just had a quick look at your two most recent uploads and I could see that a couple of people have liked the videos but it didn’t show that anybody had clicked ‘dislike’ but I’m not sure whether or not I am able to view ‘dislike’ clicks from my angle. I think sometimes KZbin restricts comments from people if it deems them to be ‘harrassment’ so I don’t know if she might have left further comments but KZbin might have removed them and that might be why your percentage’s look out of whack?? I’m not 100% sure how it all works. But I think KZbin do monitor comments sections maybe a lot more than we think they might. I noticed that the lady had left a response comment to me, but I didn’t make any response to her as I had felt that God had shown me earlier in the week about a tennis match situation. And it was like someone bats a ball over into my court but then it’s up to me if I decide to bat it back. Well, I decided not to bat the ball back as I didn’t want to get into a sin situation with the lady, creating more sin for myself (anger etc) and also sin for her as well with all these attacks. I read or heard somewhere that the church says we are not to communicate with demons , so I thought better to not get into a debate with her. I know she is just a soul as well, and I felt really sorry for her yesterday because I thought she must be maybe quite a lonely lady or something, but we can pray for her healing. I kind of regretted speaking up in the first place, because I thought I’d maybe stirred up trouble, but it was very hard to sit back and read what she put, and then just not say anything to rebuke it. I was pained for you, over the stuff you had mentioned about that other hermit lady also, who had antagonised you for 18 years, I mean, what on earth kind of Christian actually does that to somebody?! It is totally whacky. But I suppose when we look at what Padre Pio went through or John of the Cross. I read yesterday John of the cross nearly got killed by his fellow monks! (I only learned that yesterday.) Sorry my comment is long, but I also wanted to say, it is up to you, but I personally think the way you do your videos is just fine. I for one have learned a tremendous amount from your various ‘ramblings’ God has used them to relay to me some real specifics about my own life, and I’ve just been bowled over by how some of the ‘small’ stuff relates to me. So for me I would say that your long rambling videos are the beauty of your channel and the fact that you are just very much your authentic self is refreshing and very real. But, it’s totally up to you, and I respect you may wish to try different approaches and formats with your videos. I wouldn’t worry too much if your amount of views on videos remain quite low for a time. I think God does it to make sure that there is no room for any pride to creep in and also, anyone who is meant to see the videos God will lead them there. I know with me, God is really on it with regards to my pride levels. He’s really had to bat down my pride levels. Gosh it’s such a narrow path isn’t it. ❤️❤️

@CherryBlossomLaneCatholic I hope in future you do comment, for we are called to fraternally correct, and we ought not back down from bullying. The devil is behind or in bullying. I am not familiar that we are not to communicate with those who have the devil in them. I do tell the devil to bug off, but more I have found ways to be grateful which the devil despises any gratitude. I can actually thank the devil for he always causes me to turn all themore to God ,and I dare say that. The devil itself ia a bully--and it seems to stand firm against the devil if we are in Christ, that is, and have the armor of God. However, once I have discerned a situation and gained information on the person who the devil has entered into even in a tiny portion, helps me to pray for the person as well as to discern if I am going to communicate further. The woman who left the comments was her right to do so; this is public. But she has developed an attitude and tone and way of approach with those she does not agree with. To me, I do not consider myself the savior; Jesus is the Savior, so I don't keep on with those who I am not on the same spiritual path or mode unless I do so with kindness and acceptance of the person's right to have their way of living their faith. However, if they begin to harangue me and continue wtih disagreeability, there is no need for added stress or pain in my life; and that is not the way of Christians utilizing their Holy Spirit-given gifts and fruit. As is said often, "Life is too short for such unnecessary consternation." If I am doing something very much wrong, then others wil let me know in a civil way and above all, God will let me know Himself or through others--but the sign of God utilizing others will always be done with love and the gifts and fruit of Holy Spirit. Jesus was not ugly nor nasty to the Pharisees and high priests et al. But he was assertive--firm, solid, parables used and then at times on direct terms He'd be quite clear--but nevery nasty, sarcastic, undercutting, rude, etc. Jesus is quite the role model in how to confront with caring and affirming truth in direct and clear statements but nothing of ugliness. He did not need to stoop nor to use underhanded jibes or overhanded, haughtiness. That expressed, I have no further desire contnue or to debate, but I pray and hope the person finds a friend to discuss (or debate if they both want) Scriptures ,dogma, and doctrines. Oddly ,the other woman who wrote and writes in similar affect in consternation and frustration toward me, loves to debate and discourse in didactive, pedantic tone and style: theology, canon law, doctrine, and dogma. She also seems to have a sense of being superior and proud of her intellect and MS in theology to a high level of intellectualism and in some instances, legalism. So perhaps there is something simliar in personality types who are drawn more to the temporal and tangible as opposed to the spiritual and "ehtereal" as the commenting woman referred to the spirtual and supernal realities of God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and Mary and others termed saints and holy ones for specific markers they possessed in earthly life as well as possess from heaven and exempllfy to us on earth. God allows for variance in His creatures and creation! It is good! WE can express per our interests and what draws our attention and of which we are more attune...but to insist that others must be and do and think as us to the extent of become nasty and biting is counter-productive and does not appear for several reasons as modeling Christ. Yet in carrying out the comments back and forth and my striving (took effort, I admit) to remain kind and not judging but very much practicing discernment of spirits, when I did finally make a suggestion based on expressing something I noticed that was not glowing but directly stated---the person did in part express her feelings and motives in explanation that was real and human, and was refreshing in approaching honesty of what she feels and wants. We can want to get others to change by thinking they are wrong and wanting them to see that they are "wrong" based on our estmiation of right and wrong, but we likely will not succeed--not when it is a matter of approaches and specific gifts more in one aspect of appreciating and approaching His Real Presence (in my case a more holistic or eclective approach of not only Scirpture but also other considerations not so tangible, such as loving Him). In the others' case, it is sola Scriptura, as was term coined in the Reformation, I believe, or shortly after. That differential is nothing compared to someone who believes in Christ and someone who does not. Even so, I am not out to overtly convert or preach or teach Scriptural exegesis in my videos but to share the life journey in whatever facets unfold, including my lessons, setbacks, and progress, and what the "experts" who have succeeded in climbing the holy mountain have said, written and given as lived examples. But I have not gone on as long with contention on this vlog as this time, and it is long enough to glean what seems God wanted. I feel and think we made great progress, and you are part of it and am so grateful. WE are called to participate in what we see. See something, say and do something, especially in a public forum type of sharing. Your input has been excellent and beautifully, honestly, and sensitively stated. You maybe don't see it as I have, for we are always harder on ourselves as I am in my less than ideal videos. But, as you point out, someone is benefitting from what seems unplanned little forages down this or that tributary of memories or thought. I have considered that it is not the success, but I do not want to be going along with someone simply disliking because of disagreeing with my sharing of spiritual aspects of Christian life as opposed to that person's focus on Sola Scrptura. The dislikes are not shown to me either, but if there are three likes and then one unseen dislike, the percentage shows 75%. If four likes and one dislike it is approx. 80% and so forth. I am taking an intolerant approach to being an unnecessary punching bag for someone if consistently disliking based on my approach and genre content being more verbal journaling than Biblical exegetical. I just found it unusual that since the disgruntled viewer began commenting, the percentages changed as there is not too much to dislike in the videos for they are not important nor necessary whatsover, especially in the full spectrum of even my life! ha ha ha! I agree with you about the humilty so important. My deisre to do better is more to do with wanting the Our Lady of Nigeria Fund to increase; if I don't do well, there is not much to send to Fr. Vincent. However, I also want to do my best, omnia pro Deo: All for God. And, I am discerning if God would prefer I write as I do better as a writer and can edit, as well. However, of the "Bed Tasks" since i am on the bed a lot, yapping is easier for me to do than writing. Free-form or stream-of-consciousness sharing is easier for me than scripted sharing. Scriptued would be an improvement to most persons' perspectives and desires. And I agree that I likely would become frustrated wtih my meandering yap if I were a focused and busy, more functional and necessary person in society and the Church. I'm not, and so people come and go on this site, and my messages reflect my --as you nailed it, authentic self. I'm making myself vulnerable, real, honesty, and not trying to hide any flaws of which there are many. I"m not intentionally waving my flaws about, but i'm too tired and pained to have energy to mask them, either! Praise God! But my poor quality of videos--many worse than some--does get to me in that I am being forced to face in these the reality of the decline and of the effects of suffering with age. I have to contend with the reality that I through my own weakness did not do God's will nor utilize gifts He gave me, nor the desire I had to write books. I simply seem to lack the inner confidence. In these, I never thought there'd be more than a handful who'd ever see them, so it is not numbers so much as now that a viewer Dan explained if you hit a certain number then KZbin will share ad profits, and that is what I use it for--Fr. Vincent's many needs in Nigeria at the Holy Spirit Commity Center where he lives helping the elderly and sick priesst of Community of the Holy Spirit. The worse I do now, the less view time, the less ad money generated by KZbin. ha ha ha. So I have been trying to sell stuff I want to get rid of--stuff my daughter did not want that is saleable, but all of it takes time. I have a fan that is quite usable for $30 that no one has taken because they don't want to spray paint it. I will get spray paint and paint it and sell it for hopefully $35 or $40. But more distractions. Yet, I have told His Real Presence I will ahve to figure other ways to earn some added to send to Nigeria. I have wondered if I'd do better writing a book, though. I'm thinking on one tha has people planning how they want to die. To die well, to Die with Grace, to Die Like a Saint! but I don't know where to start but will start taking notes on ideas. See, I am having to go in so many directions and do so on top of trying to escape awareness of increasingly high level of pain. Just how it is, and we do not know eough to anticipate what is ahead so is best to just do--just try to do stuff and deal with not able to later if we cannot! IMO

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit yes, like you say, maybe you could have a go at just starting a few pages of a book or an outline of a book / theme, or something and see whether or not it flows. I am sure God will tell you sooner or later if it’s not what He wants you doing. If there are some complications coming with the YT channel I guess there’s a chance that it could be Gods way of shifting your focus to writing a book instead. But you will have to discern and as you say, with advertising revenue on YT, I guess it’s a good way to make a bit of cash for charity and that is wonderful. A book on the other hand though is a concrete piece of material to leave behind as a legacy, (if it is written on paper) whereas I suppose we have to ask ourselves will KZbin still be here in another 100 years time, maybe not. But a book on the other hand is more concrete, substantial, long lasting. (As long as it doesn’t get lost or thrown in the bin by somebody). I often wonder how long we will have electricity, and will God just shut it all down. I have often felt God had tried to nudge me to write, but I don’t really do it , apart from keeping a hand written journal. I don’t think I’ll ever write a book as such but maybe God just wants me to write to him. He is probably the only person who would ever see my writings anyway hahaha. But when you think about King David he spent a lot of time writing poems and psalms to God. I expect even St Faustina had feelings that her writings were going to come to nothing. But if you get distraction from the pain when you’re writing then that’s a good enough reason on its own! Xx

We have to understand people in general, and the increasing disorders of our times, plus learn to discern spirits and the reality of the devil's operations within souls and personalities. I have left these up for solid reasons, and it is telling that the person's comments register just as you have described, and that they make you feel as if your skin is crawling. I'd expect no less as you are sensing a reality, and what causes this effect in Christians in particular? These are all aspects of discerning spirits, and this one is an example of many facets, and is rather tragic and sad in part, but we then can consider how does a soul come to this type of inner invasion, in effect? For those ill we must be compassionate yet also can try to confront, but with some personality disorders, that only touches them off even more to a very negative and ugly result. It is generally considered not worth it. Jesus gives us the power to cast out demons, but as He also says of some, they reqiure "much prayer and fasting." I won't let it continue indefinitely but am learning and practicing, discerning and gaining experience. I am also learning to pass through the midst of the externals of this matter, and to focus on the root causes and am praying for guidance from HRP on what is His Will of me regarding this one. Already I have at least two to three video topics, so am grateful for that goodness. Of course, the evil one does not like us to find good when the evil one is intending not-good. As we grow in the spiirtual life, this includes growing in dealing with real life situations involving souls we must discern and then determine God's will and reasons for such--yet without losing our focus and love, our purpose in His Real Presence nad our becoming one in God Is Pure Love. You have assessed rightly this situation; but I realize there is a bit more for us all to learn, and part of our spiritual learning is very much handling what are increasingly cunning yet tell-tale signals belying those who have come to truly believe what they've been convinced they are or think they are. I've shared from the great early saints of Mt. Athos, how to discern good and evil, and in particular how the evil one operates at different levels. Spiritual warfare and learning how to participate and overcome is part of our spiritual journey and lessons to learn.

This is actually not nearly as the woman who has been at it for now into the 18th year, but lately has been less obvious in obsessively attacking, misquoting, literally hell-bent on trying to discredit and detract. Seems to have turned to taking my topics and writing on those herself, at great length, but at least that is better for her. I don't mind if others cannot hear within or from their own environment, what might be helpful to others to discuss or write, but it reminds me, also, that what I discuss can then help those such as the woman who writes, to have topics to write about that are good and better than simply attacking. Even though she is motivated in part by a need to be superior to what I may say or how I express it, she is at least using the topics HRP suggests to me, and writes on them, with rare exceptions of her posting something from the past. While a bit odd to have someone obsessed in what I share and using that as her topics, at least it is better than her being in attack mode which is quite negative and not good for her soul. As to this one who has appeared, this is more insidious, and I may talk about it or not, but it is quite something to know there are situations like this, out there in the wild, wild west of the internet but in reality, out there in the world. People quite convinced of some major, serious convictions of themselves, and even have followers, and nothing that anyone could scientifically disprove other than as you have noticed, the effect and the spirit in which they approach others, etc. So discernment of spirts is vital for us to learn and then to be led by His Real Presence (HRP) how He wills us to deal with each situation inhabiting each person as they come along into our lives--or we may as if simply run into them, too! But there are no coincidences. Not in God and not in the evil one.

@ Thanks so much for this. I realise I have been quite harsh by my judgment of that person making those comments and I was considering deleting my hasty comment of condemnation towards them. However your reply to me just now, has helped me tremendously in giving me tips on how to deal with this kind of situation in my own life, when people direct these kind of remarks towards me personally. And how I am better to probably take time to assess the situation and discern spirits as you say. And I know I must also consider the fact that some people are struggling with mental health issues and therefore I need to be more compassionate about that and not get fired up so easily. It is a learning process. I am very appreciative of your take on the matter and your ability to be able to view it with such spiritual depth. Xx

Please do not take down your comment. It is needed and good, and part of what we are learning and also will help set the boundaries for this is of another type of situation as you ahve gathered, spiritually, from what you have noticed. EVen if a mental or personality disorder, the evil one has gotten in. We can pray for the person, but I decided not to back down and not to react other than in firmness and also in love. AS Jesus says, or is in Scriepture, regardless: Love or maybe it's faith, perfect love or perfect faith, casts out fear. What is truly the greatest "fear" personified? It is not death but is the demon. The demon is akin to death of the soul, though. Has that capacity to imprison and eventually ensnare to thepoint the soul has gone to perdition, has lost God at least utlimately can and usually does, or a truth, beauty, and goodness quality of Christian behaviors and thoughts. Manipulative and cunning--hallmarks of the evil one's machinations with souls. Try to cause insult or upset or insecurity. See how one can gain strength in the course of spiritual warfare? But, I'm not messing with it for long. I was hoping to find this video on. youtube but seems either is not this persons, but sure thought it was, or is someone else. but this person said I had deleted her comment, and I had the first one that linked to this video that was quite telling in spiritual discernment. I felt it all would be a good example for us all in real-life spiritual warfare situation and how cunning it can become, how tricky. If one becomes sad or upset by the not-so-veiled insults and attempts to tear down, but I am secure in Christ within, His Real Presence is not upset by any of it. HRP knows readily the sad situation of a soul deceived even by what we might think is rather ordinary narcissism and self-righteousness. The person has used at least two ID's it seems, but not sure. So might be dealing with multiple personality disorder or just a silly ploy. But not to spend much time or effort on this other than for me to then discuss this as a case study, in point. But yes, I had the inner sense of creepiness as you did, and this is a good sign for us that the Holy Spirit of HRP is testing our inner sensing, and we sensed the queasy, true enough, for now!

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit yes I understand what you are saying, and I will not delete my comment. ❤️. I will go back through your videos and seek out the video about the Mt Athos Hermit if this has some good advice about spiritual warfare . Thanks so much ❤️

Thank you, Cherry Blossom Lane Catholic! I do pray and hope that my yammering, rambling sharings are helpful in any little way to anyone at all. Please pray that I do a far better job of being prudent as I did a video last night that I then deleted. Seems I am not doing well with delving into examples that could be too risky with those who may see themselves in the examples! So I need to focus better--right when the headache (constant since Aug. 22, 1984) has notched up quite a bit--I'm slower at adaptation in elder years. But I know God will help me adapt. The specialist today mentioned another injection--this time using steroid as I mentioned lidocaine does nothing, but my pain doctor had injected a couple or more months ago with steroid and it helped! But just recently he did both occipitol lobes with lidocaine when I assumed steroid, until he finished and was so surprised the lidoderm had not immediately helped! Somehow lidodoerm does not at all help. So I'm dealing with morning and ngiht the headache even worse than the constant increase. I will try some BC powder tonight; I have muscle relaxamt but will drowse very much. "So, I need my mind as clear as feasible as I really do want to be more prudent--and of course more concise. I repeat and repeat. Then, however, I condiser as long as I am praying for Jesus' guidance and inspiration, I must have faith that at least I am striving to please His Real Presence by trying to do something of anything to share all the ways His Real Presence has been so good to me and will to everyone even when we make errors or like me, squander opportunities to serve and love Him, to even appreciate the beautiful gift that this life is--such an opportunity to come closer and closer to Christ and learn HIs Pure Love which will uplift those around us! So we keep striiving,and we strive to encouragee one another even if I come off too critical at times or too over-eager or way too intense. But your encouraging me is absolutely lovely and sweet, and is helping me to have confidence to jsut keep trying to do my best for that is where we all are in our attempts--doing our best. I used to enjoy when I was out such as in parish and someone would give a complikment of some outer garmnet or my mask of some un-pale cheeks,eye-circles covered, lips rosy and even a smail instead of the cross-etched and pale , tight lines. I'd say, "Just trying to do the best with what I've got left!" I do like to get people to laughing, and I knew full well that in my situation and condition, compliments of my appearance are truly pushing it! ha ha ha! So was fun to get the complimentter/s to laugh at the whole effort. It was lovely for the person/s to want to compliment my outer shell, but I've always been partial to I Samuel 9:16: Man looks at the outer appearance, and the Lord looks at the heart. Of course, it is encouraging to receive compliments for we know most of the time the complimenter sees something of God's touch and creation in us. All praises to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit! You are so dear, and I appreciate your encouraging me to keep striving to do my best for God, and more so, I must come to a faith that God Who Is in each and all of us, is doing all in wanting us to succeed in HIs Will! His Real Presence truly Is through, with, and IN us! His Real Presence IS motivating and inspiring us, is helping and above all LOVING US. ALWAYS in EVERY PRESENT MOMENT! Christ wants to use our tired (and in such as my case very old) "mortal frames".to redound to Christ's glory yet on earth by praying, saying, doing, hoping, believing, loving God above all things and others and ourselves as God LOVES! Let me know insights you will receive on God Is Pure Love. I consider even though not anything specific that I know--in actuality God Is Love is a spiritual element of some similartiy to an energy, perhaps. But we are dealing with the numinous, so God Is Pure Love has to do with our becoming so close IN God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit--and I also want to get to KNOW Mary who is so loving through her life on earth and her life in Heaven but among us as are all the souls. So Love has many attributes that we know listed in ! Cor 13, but there is more. We will know more the more we practice even very imperfectly, God's Pure Love as best we can. We can only do our best, try our best and pray God carry us along~

@ the only insight I have had at the moment is trying to move my ego out of the way when people offend me and trying to love my enemies as Jesus said, rather than getting angry. This is something I’ve struggled with a lot (anger and resentment) but I’m trying to shift my ego enough to let Gods love flow through me so that I am not sat at home ruminating about when ‘so and so’ said this or that the day before that threatened me etc. I think it’s a challenge to trust in the Lord when these attacks come and to remember that all things come through Him and that God is sovereign. I can (and often do) go into fear about the devil is doing this or that to try and hurt or ruin me. Instead I have to remember that all things come from God or through God and nothing that happens, happens without His Will or His consent and for me too accept Gods Will as a form of love. And I have to remind myself about the passage in Isiah 45 verses 6, 7, 9….. where it says ‘I alone am God, I form the light and make the dark, I send good times and bad. I God am He who does these things. Woe to the man who fights with His creator. Does the pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with Him who forms it saying stop you’re doing it wrong’. That’s a verse I have to meditate upon when I am feeling threatened. I know God brings good out of ALL things big and tiny and I know that as an example of His pure love. That good eventually comes out of all moments, but I know we have to wait sometimes to see that. I know when we can accept all things in His love that we are building great riches for ourselves in heaven. I’ve also known God that if someone has attacked me that He sometimes moves the blessing that was meant to be for that person to me!! Honestly I’ve seen it played out in my life! Anyway, got to go because got to go out to work today but sending love across the ocean to you ❤️. I prayed for you when you said you were having the injection in your head, you are very brave and I’m sorry that it hasn’t worked. I’m confident with all this suffering that you will be a billionaire in heaven hahaha. ❤️

@CherryBlossomLaneCatholic What you have written here is richness from His Real Presence. I pray we all read your comment as it is filled with wisdom and truth of the crux of what matters and how God's Divinity has us all well taken care of--so we need not fear nor have concerns. What you write also brings out the beauty of God's masterful yet mysterious interplay of love and suffering. Suffering always leads into more love, and more love unfolds more suffering; they become as One in His Real Presence. All riches of soul flow from love with its incumbent suffering. Thank you for what you have shared from inspiration of His Real Presence poured into you. All of this that you have expressed of HRP is truth, beauty, goodness; all expressed clearly, succinctly, understandably for any of us. Advent gift!

@ God bless you so much for your kindness ☺️☺️🩷🩷

@CherryBlossomLaneCatholic Just writing the truth. I find this immensely helpful, right-on, and spiritually beautiful in depth and breadth. Truth! Thank you for sharing your insights, again, as they help me. Please pray for me, for God's will and also in casting away or even keeping away demonic influences/interferences. Thanks!

Thank you for the idea/reminder. I have magnesium spray I've used in past but have not recently. It did not help then, but I will try again for our bodies are always changing, and body chemistry changes, also. Might help with God's grace, as well! THANK YOU! I totally forgot this as a hopeful remedy!

This young man, this reverend, a priest, deserves my thought, prayers, and love for whatever all he was trying to handle that became overwhelming. I appreciated learning more about him through some online research. I just touched the surface of what is now the memory of a caring young man who wanted to help relieve the sufferings and the injustices of the unpredicatble yet often enough harsh and injust temporal world. I'm now praying more for all people to not become swallowed by the strife. I pray for you that your Advent is a time of joyous reflection! Let us all pray to be possibility thinkers and loving doers! God bless His Real Presence in you, Pablo!

Please help me know, again, how to get to your profile. I tried to see your FB but somehow cannot now get to the other joyful hermit site that I had on FB nor to even my name site. I have no access. Not sure what happened with FB or likely with me! I so want to view and follow along with your artistry and accomplishments! Struggling with higher pain in mid-spine where fusion stops and the vertebra tend then to disintegrate from compaction in time--5 years for me, this time. The headache has notched up quite a bit in the past few months, and I'm not tech savvy. I have no idea what has gone wrong with my FB other accounts. I can access this one that I used to mostly try to sell items.

More later, but did my little bit come yet? Likely Monday. Fooey but my own disorganized fault.

This is all so poignant. I seem as if was there, Koine! The finale of the mother and child arriving, feeding tube and carrying a good-sized little Charlotte--an image in my mind. The photo of her by the creche--touching my weary heart with a spark it needs to fire up yet. We are not finished, my heart and me. Well, my card will likely arrive Monday. Utilize in any way desired or helpful. Thanksf or mentioning some of the sisters' names. I cannot locate the cards sent with their individual messages--three times--as kept them, but I'm in a mess here plus mentally seem in a muddle. Forgot the pain pill this evening so need to augment to get a grip! I can't decide if it is the pain, the head injury, or my increasingly mind leaving body--or if I have some start of dementia or more, as my memory is in inner fog but also far away, and I have memory blackouts. Probably the pain and my "going out, far out and away." Also the solitude in here, and the head injury did not do this initially, not for four years or so. It still does it's loss-of-word aspect--when I cannot think of a word. Unless the TBI increases with time, but it was more word-oriented at first--uable to think of the word but would have a first letter and know it was close--then would come to mind. Thank You, Holy Spirit! So I cannot locate the cards as wanted to write a thanks to each sister who signe and leave messages of prayer and well-wishing. I SO appreciate all the surprises and prayers! The encouragement has kept me going this past year or bit more. Can't recall when I started doing these in earnest more, but I continue prayers for your fmaily and for the Sistesr--for the entire Pauline Family. I pray for Usumo and now will add Charlotte and Jack and Sophie and Lauren--what a beautiful mother is she, and I know somewhat of her selfless love for I have a cousin four years younger with a daughter and then an autistic son. He is going on 33 if my. memory on that can be trusted. March 2 his birthday,-so somethings I recall. My cousin lives in Cohasset MA and was a trail blazer with the schools there to insist and also help develop education programs for children with Autism. YOu are so correct in that there is no one type or category. EAch are unique as the mysterious and bright stars in the universe! Max and his elder sister by mot quite 3 years, have a very special and loving sibling relationship as adults. Charley (Charlotte, named for my aunt) is married but with no children. My cousin and her retired MD husband have provided for an apartment created and added to in part of their home so Max has a sense of his own place, and his parents also can continue taking him to various activities. He is gifted in cartoon characters. Lauren, the little Charlotte's mother, and my cousin Annie are en par with Mother Mary's attributes--in my sincere and forthright assessment! I'm so grateful for the prayers for my children, my family of which your prayers include my three grandchildren. I am eternally grateful, for I am at the point I think I forget to pray! I don't pray as overtly as I oguht, anyway. I pray God considers mypain as prayer for all those I ought to be praying for day and night. I have this Infant of Prague holy water font in bed by me as a prayer for St. Andrea. I have taken to assigning tasks, objects, and pain as prayer enactors. Headache is kicking in--pain doctor used lidocaine instead of steroid! But I am covinced the real reason I was to be there was to pump him full of Advent hope and ideas and gave him assighments as his family needs our prayers veyr much so. Son, daughter, wife and I dared tell him he needs to consider the spiritual of his being as his name is that of a highly spiritual, even mystical Biblical personage. I am a bit bold.... God Bless us through and through, in His Real Presence--love within Christ's Sacred Heart! We continue on, coming onward, forward, into the reality of Advent power and love.

And so good for you to comment and share as there are plenty of us as well as those living the active life per God's will, but also having rich spiritual lives within and much praying on their parts. So this is turning out to be a loving cyber-community of those who are seeking and striving to grow closer in God and to learn and live increasingly as in His Pure Love! thank you for commenting and please share whatever you are inspired or also simply want to share, for your experience in not only how those in the temporal view you and those others, but your spirtual life will also help in the greater understanding as well as desire to keep striving, keep seeking, keep loving. We are all in progression as you know better than I know, and I am beginning to better understand and to try to calibrate my own intemsity and impatience as I want those I know personally and who I think know me, to come along at a clip! Ha ha ha! But then I consider the years of my life that I have clumped along or kept leaching out into the "world" to the point that God gifted me with enough suffering to curb me! Thanks be to God--as I am still calleld off and out at times, go on and on with those who wanted just a simple answer or response, such as with my cousin who texted me a while ago with a concern about her mother and the hospice and nursing home--of which something seems not right and not good, but I got triggered om that, and went on and one. She is kind and knows how I get with high pain but also when triggered to memories such as what my mom went thorugh in the same facility but hospice then was more limited in scope, which cam be a good thing if there is an over-eager worker who wants to move the person along physically faster than what the person has wanted in recent past. So my cousin will call and also talk with her mother and praying am I there is some truth. If my aunt has changed her attitude, fine, but otherwise, no pushing people on their way. God chooses our time and way!Could likely be coming from a nursing home nurse. Well, anyway, I got way off into a lengthy text on all that and brought back painful memories that did get handled, of course. Some of us just "see" and "smell" red flags sometimes, and yet I start going off in likely over-kill of concern and warnings and examples! So, having a laugh at myself tonight and praying others laugh a whole lot when i get going. Of course, I pray I tone it down, curb myself better! So, not at all what you wrote about, but yes, I do understand as do you, what we go through, and in that we can rejocie for we are "normal": Everyone goes thorugh stuff in life! Everyone feels im some way or amother he or she is not understand nor accepted. So we DO have normalcy. I always wanted to be normal, was tired of being told I was different. Now I know I am normal in that we all have these concerns one way or another! Won't anymore be distracted by that again, for it was but a distraction. Yet, it is very delightful to know of similarities and that we are not at all alone in the temporal! God bless your beautiful soul, Quiet Hermit! It's the same ol' thing that we understand that those in the active life are doing great good and by God's will, but that they don't always view those who are called by God to silence and penance, solitude and suffering and prayer and spiritual life to a greater extreme to their experiencing life--but no matter. We will all catch up in eternal life and all have a laugh and also have full understanding of one another in God Is Pure Love! Will be very, very good!

Eugene, thank you so much for taking the time to comment, and also to do so in such positive and encouraging words. I'm most grateful--and I'm not one to weep easily, but your comment brought some tears to well up, for I do not at all consider myself a gift to anyone and especially not to the Catholic Church--and mot at all great in anything at all other than perhaps making goofs. I'm one, when I make mistakes, to make "great" mistakes! Ha ha ha--but tends to be true. I so grateful that you perceive that I do strive to be balanced in my thoughts and sharing, and if this is how it is heard, that is God answering my prayers and also God giving me whatever balance there is in me. This topic is a difficult one, as I mentioned my dear younger friend who very much disagreed with my giving God far more love, mercy, and understanding toward those who in such severe crises are not at all themselves for various potential reasons (of which I gave possible examples of what could have caused this young priest to reach the feeling he had no way out but what he chose as his way out). But my being old and having the blessing of death when I was 36--learned much from my death experience and interaction with God as He spoke to me and asked of me, and that He knows every detail of my LIFE, outer and inner, and all about others, too. He is so compassionate in His understanding of our human weaknesses and states of body, mind, heart, and soul at any given moment--that is how I can be fairly sure--nearly fully sure--that this priest's soul has very much been with His Real Presence (the Trinity) and is in progression in whatever ways needed, most likely how most of us will still need more progression and especially those young but not always. (Young such as Padre Pio can be quite advanced in Love and in the spiritual life. But I'm sure there would be some priest and bishops who might take issue with what I shared on that point and many other points, for we are each and all human beings in varying degrees of progression in all types of facets including knowledge, understanding, perspectives, experiences spiritually and some mystically, as well as in the temporal world. As we evolve especially spiritually, we then may change our perspectives, and the truths may seem to change--our views of truth might come to seeing God's Truth, which is what we ought to aim for seeing and knowing all along! It surely does help us in life if we love to learn! You seem such a soul gifted with love of learning and that means very much of loving to learn to love as God Loves--His Love that is Pure. I have become fascinated with learning more to love as God Is Pue Love and to do so while on this earth, in increasing amounts. Last late fall or early winter I shared writings and information St. Catherine of Genoa received when she wa sin ecstasy back in the first decade of 1500's. Yapping away in videos on that informatoin, those Truths of God and of His Pure Love, and the purpose we are here at all is to learn to love even in this life--especially here and now--the type of Pure Love that IS God Himself. She was told and shares with us the information that a young man of her times wrote down from her ecstasies that she shared, what God explained further on His Being Pure Love, and that it is best if we strive in thish life as much as possible, to learn to Love increasingly purely and be as God Is Pure Love to whatever degree we pray can become--for when we pass over, die to the temporal life, we will continue progressing in learning to become one in God Is Pure Love. Really, this seems to be the main reason God creates us! So I find it most exciting and challenging, for I was wondering what "is" my mission for whatever time I have left and as part of the reason God told me He was sending me back when I died at age 36 and one reason He said was to "rear my children." They were quite young and me a single mother, recently divorced, my husband being kind of a multiple temporal life type person. So now it is mission time with my children long-since reared. These videos are kind of my spirtual journey and process of striving to learn, and within each day there is more to learn especially of God Is Pure Love. Your loving comment got to me because I've been more of a misfit in the temporal parishes, but I recently recognized I'd really misinterpreted some early on visions in my Catholic conversion, plus the priests of parishes I belonged to early one, of course would not have grasped nor trusted that God really meant for me to be a hermit to the degree He actually wants me. But by having my spine ailment progress all the more, God makes sure I remain more in hibernation--more His hermit. I'm starting to accept that I'm really none the worse for the wear of my mistakes and errors for we always learn from them, and we can always learn more about God Is Pure Love from all and every experence in life--error or success, either one and in-between! God bless your beautiful Soul , of HIs Real Presence in you! (You share the name of an honorable and favored late uncle of mine--husband of my late dad's only sister. Uncle Eugene or "Gene" as he was mostly called by his family. I will remember your name for sure, and welcome to this little cyber-community of seekers, strivers, and lovers of God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit--His Real Presence, the Holy Trinity withinus and us in Him!

Thank you, Eileen, for thanking me as I know you are thanking God for helping me to do a bit better with the video on Adventus to Death! I can become downright excited about that prospect! I was hoping to stir some excitement for my firend, as well, but she is not calling. But she did text and wants prayers for a new grandchild hopefully being born before midnight ET in US. 2 1/2 hours about and the baby would be on her earthly birthday. Baby is two weeks early but the mother's blood pressure is high so has been induced. Please pray for Kari, and the baby to be born is Evelyn Grace. Beautiful name and will join two older brothers who are quite a bit older. This little baby girl has been prayed and hoped for several years.

So grateful for your prayers for Mary and also Sr. Andrea as our cancer suffering persons of much holiness and their lives so devoted to Christ and the Church! A terminal illness that is also aggressive and rapidly progressing is extra difficult in the adaptation and acceptance for suddenness is what defines in part, "shock." I only had a glancing premonition of death three days prior to my death experience which occurred in recovery following a botched surgery, when only one nurse remained as I was the final patient of day remaining in recovery. I died before I realized and was zipping effortlessly toward the "center" of a vast universe where God awaited me to discuss matters, as it turned out. I was "there" in the inexpressible love, joy, and yet existing with all aspects of our beings except my painful and cumbrous but young body. So I know if I had a diagnosis in the temporal without being dead and in that truth, beauty, and goodness --that I'd have gone through only-God-knows what human and temporal resistances: sorrow, resentment, frustration, anger, and not wanting to leave my children. But from where I was when already dead--Lord have mercy on me and may other forgive me--I did not want to go back when God offered it to me! After this video, I was considering all the more why God has some people have death experiences, sends them back to life, and then to share that experience for those who listen or trust and can grasp and absorb, will stand a chance of more peaceful and joyous acceptance. They may even experience an eager delight and loving anticipation. Ideas "came to mind" then, of another topic but one that I'd also like to write more expansively if not done already. I have noticed strangers tend to really appreciate and absorb and say my dead experience sharing with them impacted them very positively than those who know me. Those who know me tend to seem to totally forget or are reacted as if non-affected. I do laugh at the realty of my lack of making any credible impression on those known entities....But, it seems now Mary is not going to return the call. I was hoping to help her become eager to consider another approach in this situation. I did find out that she was more aware several weeks before telling me, and that was nearly four weeks ago, it seems now. I also did not know what is being said in the hometown that her son verified when I asked, and that is with treatment she is given at most a year and without at most 6 months. And while a major miracle of full healing would be tremendously powerful as a gracious intercession of Bl. Solanus Casey, from God, the aggressive progression is not indicating that miracle but rather, in my view of age and the loss of appetite and weakness, the weight loss and nausea, the pain and spread--the miracle to me is that of being given perhaps in a few months, the peak mystical individiual, personal expeirence with God of our earthly lives! She is going to LOVE IT if she can view it as God views it. I believe she will come to God's realityo of what it is and the delight and ease of death--as we all will sometimes. I wrote an article once that was published and then republished a few years late rin The Liguorian, on "When Healing Doesn't Come...." Even if there were to be a miraculous healing at age 69 or I think today is 70, how. many vital physical and mental years remain? Then there will be more suffering and still a parting from the body and this temporal world--but parting from this world only in body. We are still capable of being sent here to help and to bring messages and to instruct, but honestly, I can attest that it would be by God's sending us back to help someone in dire need. From my experience and reading of others--no one of their own violition wants to return for missing it or missing anyone--because they are busy with what they are to be in His Pure Love. But they are definitely aware and care and pray and help in various ways--appear and speak to encourage and bring comfort. But usually they meet us in the twilight of dreams or if in visions, fleeting yet direct. And as I've mentioned they do so out of much love for it takes energy and effort for them to re-enter this world and be on earth and speak to us in way we will understand and hear. But they do and will if God's will and if they are called upon in need by us, too. But I have not had overt help from such as my parents for awhile, but it seems more subtle which is good as I'm in the queue very much so, myself! Approaching advent of my eternal birth! I realize I am so blessed to not have steep attachments. I will have to make arrangements for Lovey and Mercy. I complicated my transition in that way but needed their help to enforce my getting up and then periodically to take them out and tend other than "self". I would like to write more on these matters, to help us have am advent perspective to our own heavenly "births". Prayers for all of us as you know well how quickly and the effects of cancer diagnoses have on people you treat, uplift, pray for! I pray in general for your patients other than Usuma (sp) who I pray by "name". Since I don't think Mary is interested in journaling her thoughts and progression as I was going to send her the Our Lady of Gaudelupe journal you sent, I am going to use it for prayer intetnions and also Advent inspirations--the coming of Christ in our lives be it this one yet or for the transitioned birth into eternal life. My mind is not focusing as well now so writing them in that journal will be helpful in the discipline that will be an improvement here and now. God bless you, Koine.

Mary had a surprise granddaughter born 2 weeks early and just 5 hours 39 minutes or would have shared her Dec. 4 birthday! Baby girl born 5:39 a.m. this morning! Thanks for your happy birthday prayers for Mary!

Dearest Soul Friend Martin, it is getting late on the Emerald Isle, the Holy Land of St. Patrick and of so many notable saints, including one named Martin and with last name staring with G--so won't spell it out and embarrass him here! You really got to me yesterday when I read this your comment. It shook me to the core. I do not see nor hear any of the positives you mention, but it surely did lift me up and gave me hope that maybe I am doing some small bit of whatever is this "mission" that God told me back in 1987 that He was "sending [me] back" [from death to temporal body and temporal life] "to rear [my] children and to fulfill [my] mission." A year ago when the kidneys failed and then by February it was thought I had multiple myeloma and I was excited to think I'd be outta here by Thanksgiving or Christmas at the latest--the only concern I had was that I'd not fulfilled whatever mission He willed of me and the other part of why He sent me back to earthly, bodily, temporal-tangible life. So when the test came back MGUS instead of MM, I figured God was giving me whatever time remains to hop-to-it (as my late dad used to say). I figured I did not have time to write books and lack confidence for success in that, and always have despite that being a kind of life dream--but seemed Holy Spirit was saying to try some videos. I say "seemed" because I really do not do a good job of this--not from the youtube statistics, anyway. Ha ha ha! But this is my own flawed abilities and being too much a I am now--memory weakening but not much self-discipline so just keep yapping and yapping and going off topic and being so my real self of saying things about others also too much self by means of examples, and criticizing those, this, and that! So you are kindly saying somehow my voice is tolerable--healing I'm not so sure but if so PRAISE GOD for any good effects, and you take a positive spin on my too-lengthy of videos especially for how busy people are these days and my own fam has been quite clear as have others, that my lengthy texts and emails and comments are not anything they or any other has time to read so do not. This is fine with me they do not, but I have wondered how can one express thoughts and ideas or experiences, too, by writing 7 words or less. That was a suggested limit I was given for a text or email. I ramble. I am doing so here--just going off in a mental escapade of conversation explaining this and that of what is not crucial whatsoever or even of interest at all--but it lends impetus to the fact that your encouragement helps me hope that I'm at least striving to do my little bit of what might be considered mission of God--of which everyone has a mission or many to have in life of which God ordains of us.each and all. But some or most seem very good in knowing what it is and then proceed to do and complete their missions. I am "a day late and a dollar short." But I'm trying, yet I so want to improve. But I am so grateful that you have found positives out of my negatives. And I believe God is speaking through your typing to me, to view the positives and be grateful He is blessing me with the wondrous people I am meeting thorugh this little window to the world of others who are out there sriving, seeking, loving His Real Presence and also fulfilling their missions in lfie. I just had the positive thought that we all are a team, and that my little bit even if I go off onto topics or use examples that are akin to raw gossip and are perhaps not at all for the best whatsoever--that others doing very well in their missions, are helping to assuage the ineptness of mine. People really in general just want the short and sweet of it, and this is due to people being very busy and with wanting the nugget of gold and not all the dirt and the other types of rock-substance that has forned around the gold and needing to be cleared away for them to have that nugget. I'd love to have the wisdom or even the appearance of wisdom of some blessed and insightful old hermit who looks more othe part. (One time a young secretary who had the power to get my annulment request denied right off, told me among other things that as a hermit, I "just don't look the part!". I found her perception to be fairly accurate; but I have decided it's a good thing. But to not have wisdom--well, Holy Spirit years ago through my late grandmother sent to give me this--did bestow "the beginnings of wisdom." But I don't seem to cooperate with it. So all the more I am encouraged that you would say such a lovely and hopeful thought that the US Bishops would find something good of my efforts to fulfill my bit of mission for God. Fact is, I have been a bane to bishops--not intending to, of course! But I have been a--yes--a "Bishops' Bane" for many years now--at least when I've been involved in a diocese or two in which bishops were sent letters of disapproval of me by parishioners, encouraged to do so in part by situations of priests as I am also a "Priests' Pirhana". This is truth! The first priest even called me a pirhana! But I researched that fish and found it to be an amazing specimen with a huge perpetual smile of immense teeth, is rainbow colored, and only attacks and eats humans (or other fish) when hungry from not getting enough of the few types of fish it usually eats. Otherwise, I read, they can be rather harmless--again, unless provoked and by extreme hunger..They are also intelligent and hold their own but go about their own business if not starved or provoked. I realized that St. Paul is a pirhana, and in some ways St. Peter, too. But especially St. Paul, and I wrote an article in a newsletter I published for the recipients and growing mailing list back when I was doing the soiup kitchen in 1998-1999: "Called to Suffer." I wrote of the pirhana and how we must consider it a great honor if called out as one. (I'm sure the priest saw or heard someone remark on my article for he inspired it, and there are always, or so I found this to be the case--those persons wo are quite eager to report a pirahna in their midst to the priest/s or bishop who they know dislike said prianha parishioner. But now, as an anonymous hermit who goes on and on, and shows her flaws readily to anyone who bothers to listen to the meandering messages from my massively headachey mind--there will be no busy bishops nor priests who listen to this, and so that leaves the spiritual hierarchy of which the Holy Trinity and I suppose God being First Person, the One to Whom I am held accountable, and thus far He has shown much mercy and love and great tolerance of me, for He pities me to a certain point. He does not particularly appreciate my repeated errors, and I'm sure His Real Presence would appreciate my trying to keep on top of the pain enough to be more concise and direct as that is loving and considerate of busy people who are doing their best in active apostolates PLUS in tending beautifully to their spiritual lives. Still, your comment really got to me deep down in and pulled me up and with more resolve than ever to strive to consider that I ought to at least try harder to be a better voice and to share that which might please especially the "least of these" for the "least" likely also would appreciate some less rambling, headachy sharings. I will ask for some of those graces that Jesus has in abundance because no one thinks to ask for them. I will ask for the middle portion of wisdom if Holy Spirit might consider that I am graduated from the beginnings of wisdom. HOwever, I could talk for a couple hours on how the beginings of wisdom can be actually outstanding as a gift and can carry us through this lifetime quite beautifully. Takes just a small start of sour dough strater for bakers to bake sour dough bread the rest of hteir lives. Wisdom is like sour dough starter; it perpetuates itself. Don't you think? From there, we could really dig into the spiritual life and what aspects of our souls we ought to consider from the ways and means our souls ought to perpetuate because of God's Pure Love in us--and since the soul is comprised of the will and the intellect, God's iwll surely is in there, and God's Pure Love, as well--where but in our soul (akin to the Spirit--of God being in there, too) just a beginning ought to be quite marvelous to take us into much learning of God's Pure Love and to do as the mustard seed--grow into a large tree! Jesus does honor the least of these and the small, the downtrodden. So perhaps I'm as well off being the Bane of Bishops and Priests' Pirhana? Still, I was amazed (and a little amused, my knowing the truth of how I've affected clergy, Protestant included except for the very Irish and Catholic spiritual Da and one elder Lutheran minister)---that you'd pray for the US Bishops to even smile upon me with even minnow-teeth smiles. I don't see it happening, but I am so grateful for you to even think it for look at the rather fun memories I have of my clergy encounters! They are lighthearted memories now, which is a blessing and miracle both. Your positives and prayers are helpful and holy and having good effect on my leastness. Thank you and God bless you eternally, Martin-in-good-company of St. Patrick and Bl, Columba Marmion,St. Fiacre, and so many of God's Emeralds of Ireland!

Thank you for your inspiration and sharing! I'd love to know f the prayer for the healing of our family trees. Are you able to share this or tell me where to locate it? You have a heart and mind and soul of PRAYER, and you inspire me to pray this, as well. Also, I appreciate your grasp of Jesus' love of Judas and of sorrow that he did not realize Jesus' forgiveness and love so instead was so upset that he chose to take his redeemable life. Judas would also be demeed ot in his right mind when he did that, for he was so ashamed at what he'd done, after the fact--threw the silver back into where the priests had met to do their envied and also confused planning and conniving.. They did not comprehend Jesus and what He was saying due to their own blind attachment to the temporal. God bless you-- beautiful soul!

I'm so honored that you would leave a comment and to have listened to my thoughts on our situation with priests and how we can be ignorant to their plights, and also add to their pressures. In fact, we can unknowingly do this to others who are under stress or going through a dark night of the soul--or also, yes, the devil attacks any of us when we are tired, feel helpless or hopeless, are going through difficult temporal and/or spiritual times. You are so right that the devil will do anything to get to a priest in particular, or such as your husband and father of your nine children! I am so sorry for all that he struggled with, within, and all that you did and have since, for I'm sure you had many trials, feeligs, and thoughts in grieving and then, of course, being a single mother managing but with Christ, I am sure, for you seem a woman of tremendous faith and spiritual understanding. I so appreciate your thoughts, and feel free to share what you disagree with, as I am always grateful to consider that which I may have wrongly stated or thought, or that I may need to correct as I have oodles of physical pain and am old and fatigued so at times it seems I repeat or also, yes, easily forget as well as mispeak. But of course, also, there will be aspects I may share that others will simply disagree with, and that is always a good means of discourse and sometimes just simply that people have different perspectives, which to me can be a positive means of iappreciating aind undersstanding one another. God bless you, and again, I am sorry and more than that--admiring your bearing your blindness plus being a single mother of nine children, and the deep ordeal you have endured of your husband's passing. regardless the circumstances--but suicide would be especially difficult and upsetting (or so it seems, to me, would be).

God gives us free will, and that includes what we choose to believe and have opinions of others. If by "this woman is a child of darkness," you are referring to me, I am sorry that you have a dismal impression. I try to be loving, and myself having had a profound death experience the night of July 28, 1987, for quite awhile with God in His indescribable love and joy and all so effortlessly glorious, my outlook is different from that experience. Death is life-altering if we are sent back, at least for most of us. Scripture relates what Jesus said about Judas' suicide, and Jesus loved Judas and spoke in words that give example of that Love and of what He wished He'd not chosen to do. But there are different Bible translations--some not at all accurate to the original Aramaic. New American Standard Bible, 1995 edition, comes in Catholic and non-Catholic versions, the Catholic having all the original books and the Protestant eliminating a handful of books that Luther felt at time of Reformation in 1526 or so, were more historical literature type so removed them, plus removed Jame's epistle, but then brought that one back into the Protestant version due to was extreme and flawed theology on his part in removing it. Regardless, the NASB 1995 is at this point in history deemed the most accurate version and translation in either Catholic or Protestsant edition. Hope this is helpful information, and I keep you in my heart of prayers and hope you do me, in your heart of prayers, as well. Much love to you and Blessed Advent!

@@theJoyfulChristianHermit Twice now you say Jesus grieved over Judas with no citation. Jesus wished for nothing. Bastardized bibles as the ones you mentioned are diabolical, American! version? New American version? Rah rah USA? 1995 Americans do not amount to a pimple on the Christian scholars’ backsides The dead priest’s soul is not progressing through Eternity This is a lie.

Will ponder this--nighttime here and am dozing off as I try to write! You ask Mary for an answer, and I will ask as I fall to sleep--will ask Mary for an answer, and see what comes to mind via Mary's mind through Holy Spirit. We will find out the answer if we are meant, from Mary herself! Until then...I keep dozing off so am signing off. God bless!

@ Gabriel says “behold” twice in this passage. Once to Zechariah who is immediately mute (Luke 1:20) and once to Mary who is immediately pregnant. The “behold” in each conversation conveys immediacy. What is more, each conversation, as Luke records it, introduces the impossibility of conception: Elizabeth was barren and both were advanced in years (Luke 1:7) and when told they would have a child, Zechariah asks how this is possible since they are so old (Luke 1:18). Mary is introduced as a virgin (Luke 1:27) and when told she would have a child, she ask how it is possible since she is a virgin (Luke 1:34). The focus of the chapter is on God doing impossible things. The focus of the chapter is not on Mary having committed herself to a lifetime of virginity. Two stories about two people who could conceive in unusual circumstances, and two responses in which the person who is told, reiterates the impossibility. Zechariah is rebuked because of he had prayed for this very thing, but responded in unbelief after having prayed for this outcome. Mary is instructed because, thought betrothed, sex was still a long way off. She immediately left and went to Elizabeth and stayed with her for three months and then returned to her father’s house. These are the actions of someone who is about to be pregnant, but not the actions of someone who is about to have sex. Pregnancy was immediately. Sex still many many months away, the consummation of her marriage to Joseph would have been about a year after the betrothal. Thus her confusion. Catholics make the passage unnecessarily about a “vow of perpetual virginity” when it is just a passage about God doing impossible things.

@@hendrikeinde6856 I love and appreciate all that you write about his, and you have answered the question. The only part I think is very human, and in your case understandable, is bringing it to temporal opinion. It is--and again due to what you've been through in much human hurt and upset, even resentment, that you believe that Catholics make this passage about her perpetual virginity and not about God doing the impossible. Mary does not remain perpetually virgin. She was a virgin when she conceived and that is God doing something quite impossible to our human understanding and our physiological bodies. I have never known of any Catholic who thinks Mary is perpetually a virgin or makes this passage or makes Mary all about perpetual virginity. This advent my prayer for each of us, for each of us and so many people have been hurt by those we loved very much in our temporal lives, as well as have been hurt by temporal-type people in our church encounters as Catholics. My advent newness in this new spiritual, church year, is for me to consider how God was doing the impossible in my life--and that was to have me broken away from my earthly spouse who was not equally yoked with me nor me with him, and to be yoked with Jesus in ways that are humanly impossible but spiritually occurring and yet more to come. I pray that we recognize as we do in Mary, and as you have so beautifully explained, that God did an impossible thing with Mary, and He is doing impossible things with us, or wants to and will, but being removed from our earthly marriages to people who if we really consider it as God sees, we were not equally yoked. Our spouses would mot have left us had they felt yoked to us; mine would not have cheated had he felt spiritually yoked and he was not. I have had to face that, and that God wanted me for something other and far greater. Perhaps God wants you more to utilize for Himself to others, than in a temporal temporary tangible marriage to a temporal person. We can consider how Mary was agreeable to God's seeming impossible deisres for her, and we ought say our own fiat even though we have no idea what exactly God wants to do with and especially IN us, but it is something very spiritual and wondrous, and includes our becoming one in God's Love even if we are not sure how or why, other than He wants us eacth to let go of our hurts from the temporal spouses and also from the temporalites in the Church who have not yet grasped God is Pure Love or at least did not demonstrated Christ Love to us. in certain circumstances. But why? Why when they are loving to others and accpeting of others? I have come to realize that it is not to do with them as much as iwth me and what God chooses and wills for me, and knows is best. God wanted me more for Himself and tonot look to the temporal church people and priests/ministers for my answers and to include me, but God wanted me to look to Him for all my needs of feeling loved and belonging. God knew that I coiuld come to understand and to grasp that God is the One to Whom we truly "belong" and Who will always love us with an everlasting love; it is God Who we can trust to never hurt us. So why do we keep grieving or resenting temporal people who are not God? People who are like us, temporal, tangible, and doing God's will because they reject us--which is how God had to utilize others to get us to consider looking to GOD as the ONE Who wants us for Himself and in tihe spiritual more and more, and to show and teach God's Pure Love to others who are at a level of grasping and able to accept more of the spiritual. Our spouses were mot there, and at the time in many ways we were not there, either,b ut God is doing all to get us to be HIS so we will get there, so that HE CAN do His impossible with us--to create us in His likeness and image so that we will live LOVE for ourselves and for others to see how God loves. To each who is unkind or rejects, we then are to show God's LOVE and move on to more and other ways we can demostrate love and faith to others. WE can determine to be the loving Catholics to others, in recompense for any who were not yet able to be accepting and loving to even us. Consider how no one wanted the Messiah to be born in their establishments until one innkeeper said Mary and Joseph could hae the stable out back. Mary and Joseph did not spend the rest of their lives hurt and suffering and resenting because of that. Instead, they were focused on the glory of Jesus and all He did and the angels who appeared to glorify Jesus and even strangers--shephers who came from their fields in the night to adore this baby who came via humanly impossible ways but through spiritual means of God via the Holy Spirit. Then came even the wisest of earth from foreign lands bearing gifts of wealth and other signfificance fit for a king. They focused on all these amazing events in their lives and all due to a baby born i a stable and first bed a cow manger on a cold night among animals and their dung. YOu and I and many others have experienced the same or similar rejections in life due to our being not only a little different, but because GOD CHOSE us for HImself. God actually chooses everyone, but He chooses us in ways He makes more obvious due to allowing repeatedly human beings who we chose to put so much trust into and had expectations of them--to thankfully reject us, because God wants us for HIMSELF and to learn that HE is our ALL, and HE is the One we must TRUST and be close to, to wed our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls to GOD and to learn from Him, and to be willing to be His impossibles and learn and live LOVE and to make sure that others are not rejected and not unloved as WE ARE the BODY OF CHRIST! If people including pastors reject us, konw that they will reject others, too. We and they are humans, and they and we are not perfect. But God calls us to be perfect and the only ones we can control are our own selves and what we can do to not just show but to be love for others. WE make the church what the Catholic Church IS today. WE are as capable by our own actions and love of others, our inclusion and care--as anyone else is responsible. "I can only see and laugh at myself that I put so much weight onto priests and others to be for me what I expected and thought I needed and wanted, when God wants to fulfill all our hopes and dreams. WE humans can so easily disappoint. WE can take time to consider the people we have not been as they expected and wanted us to be. I have disappointed my own children! I even disappoint my dogs....But in Christ and in learning God's Pure Love, I can be a new creation, and Advent is a good time to begin pondering and changing my ways to better and better. I am going to ponder Mary and get toknow her better, and you have helped me with this great answer. But then we must not get into our gripes against "Catholics" for we are all together, and until we are perfect, we really might miss out in something in ourselves God wnats us to correct. I hope you see in what I write that you and I have been through same and similar situations,, and how this is truth in how we can change oiur perspective and see more as God sees, and. wethen willk now why God allows as He did allow, for HE WANTS US. HE in fact wants everyone, but He will use His ways and timing to approach eveyrone, or also not everyone is open, and God saw we had an opening in us through which He could reach in through our hurt, and get our attention to turn to HIM in our time of troubles. He is our answer, amnd He will use us to help others intehir troubles by making sure we love and do not hate, that we understand and do not reject nor blame. Goid bless His Real Presence in us, Heirnich. WE have God's work to do!

@ yes i understand believe and feel that in Gods Love i do not have to hope that people can give what i need. Thank you for what you can share by reason of you OWN life story. So: there áre sisters and brothers for me en to me.

@@hendrikeinde6856 You and I share the same sorrows, rejection, and grieving--seems unjust, too. But God has chosen for us to be more His than the ones we hoped for and loved, and wanted to accept us. Still, for me, there is no church other than the one Christ founded that has as much opportunity in depth, width, and my own spiritual growth and outreach. We each are converts, but once I read more of various persons' lives--there are those more like us who went through many trials similar due to being called to the more "impossible" of God's will and desires. I loved outreach, helping volunteer in the soup kitchen, but my body could not sustain, and even in that I thought more spiritually than the others, and I had more zeal which likely bothered others because I always set standards high--or used to before becoming more ill with pain and old.. Now I struggle to do much at all but pray and ponder about God, Jesus, Holy Spirit--and now want to know more from Mary, the Mother of God! And thanks to your comment, I am interested all the more in the impossibles of God, of which I think you and I are called by God to exemplify how God can use even those of us who are not in the usual "mold" of society, are loved by and desired by God to be His in our lives and to do God's will in the ways He shows us--and will show you even more as you pray and ask Him. He may have some active works of mercy for you to help others as an individual. The more I read of various souls now deceased but who God utilized very effectively and who were not part of the usual types, who were enigmas to priests and seemed a bit different to parishioners--God uses people like us as much and even more but not in the usual ways of group activities. I'm praying for God to show you something more individual but very positive and wonderful, as you have your physical strength and seem fairly young. But even if it is to pray and to do tasks for those in your community, God is using you and will all the more! As you put it, you have GOD. So do I. This is always good for us to keep in mind and heart--we belong above all to God! Pray for me, please, and I am praying for you. You matter to God IN HIS CHURCH, and so do I! God says "Behold!" to you and me, too!