I want to get this off my chest - not that anyone is going to read it, it is over a year since this video. Anyway. I think the best thing my mum should have done was either to have an abortion with my eldest brother, or give up the child for adoption, or have my eldest brother and then my dad's mum would have helped her bring up the child. She should never, ever, have married my father, she should have run away and moved to another city. But in those days, you had to marry, unmarried mothers were scorned, and she had THREE more children with him, including me. He has ruined her life and crushed all her dreams. She could have had a great career and life, and travelled, etc. What is quite telling, is that my mum says that my dad has always been a very good father. Just father. What she never mentions is that he is a terrible individual. With the accent on the individual. Because he is one. He is a huge narcissist and I never worked it out until recently. I am 55, he is 85. It's all about him. He's a bully, he belittles my mum, thinks she is stupid, thinks that I am stupid, never ever hugged me, never ever said well done for me passing out of the armed forces training, graduating from university, getting a good job, becoming a dad. Nothing. It's ok, I'm used to it. He swears all the time. Last week I stayed at home and did home office at my parents' house. I had a pen and paper and wrote down all the swear words and depressing, angry language. I nearly ran out of ink, for heaven's sake. Hundreds and hundreds of swear words, at least five or six different ones in a single sentence. Everything to him is crap, a joke, bollocks, rubbish, etc. He shouts at my mum, at the television, he is always right, it's HIS house, HIS tv, he is an ultra-competitive selfish narcissist. He still smokes, and coughs all day, all night. He is alcohol dependent, he has to drink a large whisky and at least one beer a day. I lived abroad for many years but now I have a lot more contact with him now that I came back home. My poor mum, she has to live with him. I never married because of him and the way he treated my mum. I think he has depression, and is angry at the world, and he absolutely hates the fact that he is ageing. He still thinks that he will go to bed one evening and simply die in his sleep. He is like a child. He doesn't want to have aches and pains, scratching, itching, always making moaning noises, complaining, whingeing. I do feel guilt on the one hand. My mum will be so happy I think if he died first. She is 89, so I doubt if this will happen. I am fucked up, but not because of him totally. I am the opposite of him, in fact, I am like my mum. I don't want to be like him. Ever. I feel sorry for him, I don't hate him. I just don't want to be anywhere near him. I think that in the future if I even visited for a day or just for a drink down the pub, he'd start moaning. An hour is sufficient. God help my girlfriend (if I ever have one again). I wouldn't want to introduce her to him. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.

She made it seem that me asking why she hit me, was worse than her hitting me…

During my last visit I started referring to my late father by his first name. That didn’t seem to bother my mother. Then I began calling her by her first name. She was furious then I switched to Ms. and her last name. She folded her arms and gave me the dirtiest look. I told her that we are not Mommy and Baby, but are two adults, who can be friends and act mature. I got the annoyed superior look and silence. The silence was golden. - Healthy distance: 9 hour drive

I still answer people when spoken to but if someone hurts me I do have trouble communicating my needs and tend to be more standoffish towards them. I see how childish it is now but growing up I was never allowed to voice my needs. We were told to obey and only obey. Having personal needs was a bad thing. Having my own opinion and feelings was shamed and ridiculed by my mom. By family. So I grew up not knowing how to express my emotions in a healthy way. I just isolate or explode. Which isn't healthy. Although my family isn't good at communicating either they just blame and shame. It's a mess all around. Change has to start somewhere I guess and that first comes from admitting to myself the kind of person I have been.

Isn't a modern consumeristic siciety One big narcissistic mother ?

“Fear me yet love me” that’s my narcissistic mother‘s motto I hate to say it, but it is extremely traumatic and very devastating. I’m struggling to survive every day because things my mom has said and done to me and nobody knows my story but I can tell you it is like a black mirror episode… multiple times within one day for 34 years. Can you imagine it imagine what it’s like struggling for that long and for that many times…God have mercy.

My lovely mother, 73, told me, 52, about 7 years ago that my father wanted her to abort me. Well, if he did say that, why is she repeating it to me this late in life. My parents were married until mother demanded a divorce from my father eho didn't want a divorce. She moved out for 2years just to get the divorce granted by the court automatically. My mother is very fisturbing. She sends texts telling me not to call ir text her and she doesn't have family (she lives with my brother,). She says she's ok, and doesn't need the drama. Mind you, I'll call her once in awhile to check on her just for her to speak in a vile manner about my brother and hoping he stays sick (he had cancer). She's given large sums of money to strangers yet won't help my brother. I don't want to be bothered snymore, I'm married and have 4 teens I'm raising, I can't allow that level of negativity in my life. The triagulation is massive, there's 3 of us, and she tries to pit me, the oldest and only daughter, against my youngest brother. My brother is a nurse and she constantly soeaks grossly about him snd hopes for his failure. It's just really sickening. Anytime I did call her to share a success of mine or her grandchildren, she would disregard it and make it about her or some stranger.

You'd look great pleading for your life.

Thank you for this information ❤🙏It is hard to know what you are dealing with in your own home.

That’s crazy u hit my life on the nail

Take it from an anxiously attached person trying to become secure. The less f's you give the more they take you seriously. Crying and pouring your heart out does nothing or even makes them resent you.

I can't believe I've been in an abusive relationship.. the part about thinking they'll change and just waiting for the good part, is what has me trapped

The type of parent he's describing... Isn't that the norm for most parents...? So then do most people in this world have disorganized attachment??

Hi, actual high functioning sociopath here. Honestly we just use our lack of empathy and sympathy and love of rational thinking to get ahead in life. While most people are usually on the same step or at least one step ahead, we are at least six steps ahead of you, have figured out the best course of action that will get us what we want as well as the job done correctly, and are now just waiting for you all to catch up.

The malignant I knew would just say “and what do I care what anyone thinks?! I will do whatever I want.”

So my Mom is a narcissist, and I worry that I may have inherited her affliction: According to google children of narcissistic parents may: Develop narcissistic traits themselves Develop mental health effects, even into adulthood Develop an insecure attachment style in relationships Become people-pleasers Feel guilty when considering their own needs Have persistent self-doubt and indecision Have chronic self-blame [Most of these statements describe me]

Because I lived these situations by myself (as many people did), I feel deeply understood listening to your videos ❤

Thank you very much. It's so soothing and comforting listening to you ❤

Would’ve liked to see where he took this. However I always try NOT to “React “but to “Respond”.

Yep....he's gay

Wild, the last part about "destruction" .... my goodness 😳

As a parent you're meant to be the protector. Spanking isn't the right way of punishment . You have to see the trauma it causes to the child.

I wanna change it

My friend said they're talking about him

My sister has this and everything you said is accurate the isolation the anger. She is the only person in my family who will not accept help for her illness. Everybody has abandoned her because she’s so aggressive. I only go to see her once a week because I feel so bad for my niece, my niece wants to leave her. My grandma was schizophrenic, my mother has schizophrenia and bipolar along with a few of my siblings who are ill but out of all my siblings she is the most difficult one and I feel this is one of the worst mental illnesses, she refuses all and any help. She is violent though I am the only person in the family she has struck. This has happened many times. And she definitely lacks empathy she is very cruel I never understood why. and she drinks quite abit even though she struggles financially, I help her with money as my niece lives with her but she never feels bad for taking money from me and continues to drink and smoke even though she really needs every penny

I’m going on 20 years and I’m still discovering new things that come from My husband. 😔

Narcissist=demon 👹

Social media panic is a good term.

Yup

Gay

It ruins his future relationships. He cannot commit or tell the truth or follow through. He remains s child and traumatizes women that love him

I was on a live and some people were bullying me for no reason as I don’t know them and I have to constantly remind myself that the things they said were lies and it’s what they felt about themselves and not about me.

ACE study supporting your statistic of 2/3rds of people having at least one childhood trauma

Thank you Jim.

Thank you Jim.

L'intro me fait beaucoup penser aux jeux de Dark Pictures Anthology du style "Until Dawn" ou "The Devil in me". J'adore !

If you can , move in with your grandparents or some relative

That's crazy...

Does your Husband agree with you?

You are a Moron

How do I deal with my aging Narc mom?? Easy, I DONT!!!! One day the neighborr will call the autorities over a rotting smell and the rest will be history.

Yep this is me my friends used to say I didn’t need enemies I had my family for that

Haha what a fool

Omg my brother is a raging narcissist and an addict. He’s burned me on more than one occasion, but honestly I can’t do it anymore. Too much drama and chaos.

Ah so that's probably some of the politicians and world rulers..it all makes sense now

Yes!!! 💯!!! Speaking as a survivor of a narcissistic borderline parent.

25% shit 90%of prisoners

This is so very validating, thank you.

Some of us go silent to avoid saying the wrong thing and upsetting or annoying people. Let’s face it whatever you do in relationships is usually wrong, so why bother.

Nailed it. I once asked why he can’t allow himself to be vulnerable “Vulnerability is for p-ssies” When his mask came off he was a total stranger to me .. over 30 years in