This is gold

Yes , when the therapist doesn’t deliver, because they weren’t properly trained it is re/traumatizing in a whole new way. To the point I won’t pursue professional therapy again . Thank you for info on these schemas

What is scripting? I need to do this. I’ll Google it and try to find out for myself. I wasn’t sure on the pronounciation. Thank you!

❌💚⭕️

The baby is so super cute, but also horribly distracting. Sounds like it has it's own mic and is louder in some cases than the speakers.

I m interested by this type of psychotherapy

Excellent presentation. I would love to continue to follow your work

So what happens if you have all these symptoms?

I have this schema and I often find myself having therapy in my own head, preparing to defend myself in front of a future therapist. I have been in therapy for a short period of time and it was a lot of me crying, she kinda wanted me to stop crying so she made me do all these exercises and meditations that felt very invalidating and like she wanted me to stop being crazy .

Pointless load as sacrificing is a positive thing for people you love

The fix…? Tune in to the next video! as usual

I seem to have all the modes. Overwhelming.

Some dubious "therapists" I've encountered actively try and create a leaky bucket so they can plug up the holes. They also have the gall to weaponize therapy speak against the bucket when it refuses to leak. Talk about fundamentally flawed! 😂 Nice to see you guys are nothing like that. #2341

My therapist has been working with me on these two schemas that were prominent in my results. I did set some boundaries and my boyfriend was outraged and my boss wasn’t too pleased either so now I’m single and leaving the job, but wow. I feel so empowered and I realize that I was attracting people who had their own set of schemas (entitled 😂) and I’m on a journey to have healthy boundaries in life and to be open and upfront about my needs. This therapy has changed my life

i just felt safe and understood, which i confused with love

Loved the baby's input 😂😊

That sound at the beginning and end is very unnerving. It’s very sharp and abrupt and just awful please change it or just get rid of the sound.

Especially with state insurance, they limit therapy to every 2 weeks it wastes time because you're having to start over every week due to the disconnect when awaiting the next session

Thanks for this teaching

Really helpful! Thank you 💗

This is a hard one to tackle. I get a strong physical reaction (fear) when I have to enforce boundaries. Often times I find it takes so much energy & also guilt thoughts looping & looping, I rather submit. Not helpful in the long run, also causes passive agressiveness/burnout. I am currently tackling these with EMDR! ❤

thank-you

XD ...

This describes my relationship right now. It's so frustrating. I'm the attached she's the avoidant. I feel helpless sometimes

I disagree with emdr being an option in the beginning, without the processing skills it's just opening Pandora's box with no way of processing.

Is it possible to heal from all of this

Thank you

Thanks for the schema explanations. This knowledge changes so much for people who are struggling with these mindsets .

Extremely important topic. Thanks for sharing this ❤

Hi, so I’m studying Counselling but I’m going to be really honest and I hope it’s helpful. When I’m a client, and I’ve had numerous therapists, I’ve become used to the fact that sexual transference is just something that crops up occasionally with opposite sex Counsellors or psychologists. It has never had to become an overt conversation but it is very much based on the fact that the counsellor is emotionally healthy and is almost unconditionally present and ‘calm’. Using words like ‘appropriate’ or ‘inappropriate’ go straight to my shame centre. I don’t have a solution but I hope some of that is helpful from a client perspective. Thanks for the video.

You both deserve more subscribers. ❤

Then how should I treat this?

I'm 42. I just got aware of these schemas I hope its not too late to work on them and heal

How can someone score very high on both entitlement and self-sacrifice schemas? They seem like opposites

damn the thing about I need space really resonated with me, I do this a lot. bullseye and ballpark is a good way of outlining it

Most people's reaction to loved ones with this schema is to keep insisting "there's nothing wrong with you", which comes from a good place but can feel invalidating to the patient, because if there's nothing wrong with me, why do I feel so constantly wretched and ashamed? You can't challenge the schema until you've really acknowledged how it feels

You said that Shame/Defectiveness is one of the 'big four' schemas. What are the other three? Shame is definitely one of my biggest schemas. I can absolutely agree that it is one of the hardest to get rid of. Been struggling with it for a decade now. :/

Thank you!

Thank you for posting this.

Love these teachings

I have this schema, no maternal bond, or affection, emotions ignored etc. but I’m more avoidant in intimate relationships. Like I’m mirroring what I didn’t see or experience as a child. Is this a normal one too?

very helpful. in my faith, we hv a holding cross...this helps me see how it is helpful. just wonder if Rita can stabilise her video? maybe get a gyro stand. :D Thanks so much!

This is me hard time, it hurts. It's like inside me there's a constant source of sadness and feeling that the world would be better off without me.

At 4:30 you say that what the helper says needs to be authentic. But I know they're doing that to help, so how can I take it seriously when knowing that. ✌🏻

My therapist gave me a handout on schemas and asked me to pick which ones I identify with most. Your videos have really helped me to understand the schemas and reflect on which ones I relate to most. Thank you!

How else could an adult male receive warmth and nurture other than through sex though? Kinda sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is a need for warmth really the driver?

What do you think is the connection between unrelenting standards and failure schema with perfectionism?

I was in a relationship with a guy who was having unrelenting standards /hypercriticalness. He had more Schemata active, but when he looked at his results, he said "I want to keep those, they are not a problem". I suffered a lot from this, because he was never satisfied with anything, last week my therapist said that he was a narcissist. He was putting pressure on others and felt angry if the other person was not meeting his unreasonable expectations. She said, many narcissist have the schema (she's a schema therapist by the way). I am healing now with the help of my therapist from all the pressure and unreasonable expectations and rage he put me through. Just three years were enough to crush my self- worth.

I would love to understand more about how this schema shows up in relationships. I’ve just realised how belittling, demanding and insensitive I am with my partner. I want more Joy and less constant hustle, but I’m not sure how to catch it and correct it before it ruins my relationship.

3:00 💔💔💔