"I know that this isn't a satisfying video..maybe" - on the contrary. It's so good to hear from you again and this video is ideal! From everything I have been learning about recovery & improvement stories, all of the things you have mentioned align perfectly. And it is messy and never a straight line, so to hear what you did over the past while is invaluable and confidence boosting, hopeful, and inspiring!

So great to watch you again after a few years. Both of us are in different places. My me/cfs was very bad at the time. And now I'm starting to do a lot better and going out socialising again, walking further, as well as doing other more normal stuff too with greater ease. Go us 👏👏, and long may it continue. And funny you say about your family link, my mum has it too and she has never got completely rid of it either but manages it

I have wondered how you are doing, I subscribed to you a few years ago after searching here for others with me/cfs. I have had me/cfs for over a decade and I am recovering well using nervous system techniques and some other things! Congratulations on your progress, wishing you continued success with health and all other endeavors too.

This update video was reallly great to hear by the way- thank you for the video

Living alone is good for my health because there’s less stimulation and I sleep significantly better. Thankfully we have a big place so we spend a lot of time quietly or in different rooms - I will always need to have as many bedrooms as people I live with or more so I can always manage to be alone and quiet

Super interesting video, am grateful for the update. Recovery is /so/ nuanced but stories like this give me hope. ty and well wishes <3

it feels so inspiring you're able to pursue your creative passions and record and talk us through what you have been battling chronically ! i have two autoimmune disorders and it just feels like my life has to stop bc of it sometimes but the feeling of being on "pause" doesn't have to be forever! excited for your barcelona life and sending healing energy your way 🤍

Have been watching your channel for a few years, I remember your very helpful ME/CFS pacing video at the time. The phrase seeking 'small dreams' stuck with me. I have ME/CFS well. You might be interested in my channel which talks about the research. Hope you can continue to improve.

Been watching your videos for years, I have CFS too and recently got the visible app which measures heart rate variability, I'm finding the connection between the heart and CFS very interesting. I'm glad to hear you are moving towards feeling better.

More £££/$$$ Needs raising for CFS/ME/FMA Cures!!... :)

Did it get deleted?

This left me feeling calm and cozy thank you 🙏🏼

This video deserves millions of views ❤so poetic and beautiful

I shared this with my daughter who also loves Paris❤ love the scenes of the cafes and the French 🎵🎶 musique in the background. So true how inconsistency is common at age 21 when one is trying to find themselves! This is an age befoe eyiir kufe takes flight! Such a wonderful time of freedom to be who you want to be! I remember this age with fondness! 😊❤ Love your musings and your ability to articulate your thoughts. Excellent writing young lady❤😊

Love this ❤ J'aime Paris❤ very thoughtful thoughts 😊 Merci beaucoup. Thanks for sharing yori insights.

oh my goodness losing access to my documents is my absolute worst nightmare.... feeling a lot for you about that. But also it's amazing to hear your thoughts about it after the cataclysm - I see exactly what you mean about how it's a wake up call to live out loud - "I have to carry my soul in my body now" is SUCH a good way to put it. The google drive IS a daemon, or a horcrux or a secret mirror to gaze upon the version of our most authentic past selves... but also I'm having deeper thoughts about how (even if it's beautiful) it can be limiting if we comfort ourselves with it but don't move it out into the world... or if it's an excuse to not share that piece of soul with the people in front of us bc we know we've always got it in our back pocket. lol getting into the royal "we" here, but this resonated IMMENSELY with my own relationship with my own hidden writing and authentic hidden voice and questions of anonymity vs. being perceived that I've been having lately. As always you put it all so well. Also I love the fashion tie-in and YES that makes perfect sense and here's to tapping into the energies of all our past selves through the clothes and memories attached to those clothes, literally everything is full of dust and magic ;)

i gasped out loud when u tlked about loosing the documents !! im sorry :( u have a lot of rly incredible clothes !

I’m sorry you lost all your documents - being transported by your own words is an amazing thing and you’re a beautiful writer

You look good in everything, how could you ever decide?!?

The vibe💗

Do you still have ME/CFS?

lets goooo <3 <3

Hello again! Your last bit, being in your 20s is “a time for experimenting”- with the right mindset that’s the whole thing. I find it is even more pleasurable as we age because we have learned to let go of the youthful judging. I hope for that for you!

missed you dude!! glad to see you back and having fun :~) I 100% have to go read A Spy in the House of Love, wtf that was beautiful

so glad you’re making videos again!!!

Hi Feargha! ❤

the body is a cop comment made me laugh sm !!! seeing the body as friend and not monster i think can be rly hard in the context of being sick.... moonbathing sounds like a lovely life philosophy ! i feel like ur so interested in form [forms of life / youtube / health / creativity] !! sooo lovely to see u back here :) i feellike my comment does not do justice to the interestingness & depth of ur thoughts shared in this video but alas !!! that is life i guess lol also i am so sorry u got pneumonia !! am happy to hear abt ur health being a bit better beside that tho ! <3 xxxx

The bit about the body keeps the score is so fucking real, that book gives me so much anxiety

Oh my goodness I literally googled you this week to find out where you were at

We miss you on here ❤

Got wobbly lip watching this. Beautiful work. Thank you. I'm in similar position. This is sooo helpful. ❤

I just watched this video twice in a row. It's exactly what I needed to hear today

How long did your full recovery take

I'm staying home to to get better

What do to with the lonelyness ? I really wanna have cuddles andaube dates and al this things..i feel lonlely if i try to be consisten😔

that was very very good Ty. I winder if you git full recovery ?

Thanks for reminding me. I just told my daughter that I can't watch her basketball game tonight. She took it fine, and I already watched one of her games this week. How are you doing now?

You also have to ask yourself why the body uses energy from the anaerobic cycle, which gets consumed really fast. The reason is called the cell danger response which is activated when the body wants to keep you still and protect you from danger. In CFS people our nervous system is hypersensitive to any kind of stimulus, so the brain interprets more or less everything as a threat. It then "uses up all the energy" and shuts down through the process you described. So in essence there is nothing wrong with our mitochondria themselves, its just our nervous system sending the wrong signals in an attempt to protect us from danger. To reverse this cycle you need to start really slow, but challenge the NS abit. Then respond well when the "crash" hits you. By responding well means not panicking, knowing its only the nervous system, and becoming aware of your automatic thoughts and emotions, accept them but stop feeding them. We often underestimate how much stimuli and energy bad thoughts and emotion takes up. By responding well to your symptoms you signal safety to the NS so that it can allow a little more activity the next time. The only way to get back is to go through many crashes, or Adjustment periods as I call them, respond well to them by pulling back activity and staying calm, then go again. Over time the neurons associated with activity and danger (thats been firing together for a long time) will start to separate from eachother and your nervous system will be less sensitive to stimuli and work more normally. For your info Ive had CFS since 2021 april, but since I started to implement these princples 5 months ago so much have gotten better. I work 90% now, I go to the gym several times a week (on the good weeks), hang out with friends etc. But it has required tons of patience and mental discipline. I still have some way to go before I consider myself fully recovered. I still get adjustment periods, but it requires way more activity to trigger them, and they are not as intense usually. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i really needed this, thank you for sharing your journey <3

Has this worked - 5 yrs later how are you?

Veronica looks so much like my sister it's crazy!! You have a wonderful energy, I wish you luck on your creative journey!