The way i balance guns is with the logic that you can't shoot a gun harder but you can swing a sword harder. So for players to get strong guns, they need to magically enhance the ammo, or get unique ammo that's very expensive. Also, piercing resistance is logically more prevalent with a world with guns. Guns are VERY loud and if you don't have proficiency, you really don't want to use one. (-2 to hit without proficiency). May get snuck up on within a short period of firing one since you couldn't hear the approaching enemy. Bullets can explode. Rogue gets hit by a fireball and lives? Well, the extra magazines in their vest may become a lot less desireable. that said, a player bought some force enhanced ammunition to have some limited use, very strong, rounds and it's a fun limited resource to think about. l Reloads are a bonus action. You can only have so many magazines on you at once so like some players refill spell slots on rests, characters can reload their magazines. (I dont' make them keep track of regular ammunition, but they must be mindful of their magazines and what is prepped. Also... if players want guns then guess what enemies can have. They're excited about a deagle they found, but wait till they run into the 50. cal sniper wielding mercenary with magical rounds. Oh, and one player almost got herself shot by 30 enemies at once while trying to assassinate someone surround by her body guards. She would have become instant swiss cheese but on of the guests of the bad guys who juts wanted to go back to his research gave her a death glare as she entered his true sight. Maybe the player could dodge some arrows and bolts, but definitely not 30 revolvers and hand guns.

Increasing my chances of death as a kobold by saving my friends with my breath ability use it in the upper part of the parachute to be able to reduce their fall damage and speed by increasing my own and guaranteeing my death I took 576 damage because we were on a mission to unalive Santa claws that was actually named sinter klausen it was a holidays one shot how can you tell.

The Arson Hobos thief died once by standing up to an ancient and powerful wizard that no one wanted to get in the way of. So she did, telling him no, he couldn't have what he wanted. He blasted her without a thought and had it his way over her dead body. When she was brought back, she was informed that was about as stupid as it got. However, it also made her famous for being the only person to have the guts to stand up for what was right. And she's not even that kind of thief. The Hobos Atlantean fighter has died twice. But neither was her own fault. She got blown up by an invisible chimpanzee and later murdered by a great big giant meanie head quest giver, just to prove he lacked compunction. She did get better both times but has started to say, "Why is it always me who gets killed?" To her credit, the thief has taken to saying, "Don't tell my partner I almost died again." She's at one death and three near deaths at this point, and again, she's not that kind of thief.

I was laughing at one of my teammates who decided not to look away from a nuclear Blast which made them blind And I was standing right next to a cliffs edge And I slipped cause I was laughing so hard and feel to my death

My silliest death was slipping on an oil pearl i had thrown myself earlier on in combat. Because i was over encumbered i took 1d4 blunt damage every time i fell - And the oil pearl had a DC13 to slip and fall, because our craft-focused party member had made it. I had 23HP at the time. I failed a DC13 eight times in a row, then failled my bleedout rolls because i was looting alone. It was very funny at the time, i was so mad i kept failing. xD

This is one of the many channels that has me wanting to play dnd, and my friend is about to introduce me into his campaign, so I’ll have my first game session here in the next couple of weeks

Didn't know Uncle Sheo was in this thread.

Not me but a buddy of mine in the ancient times of 2nd edition. He was a human fighter that had just found a nice heavy lance in the loot of our latest victory, so he decided he wanted to use it, though he hadn't taken any proficiencies in lances yet, he figured he would do so while practising with it. The next combat he took the lance, lept onto his horse and charged at the enemy. Rolled a nat 1 to attack. Ok the tip of the lance stuck into the ground, make a dex save to let go... nope. The lance jammed into the ground causing the fighter to catapult over the horse, fly 50 ft downrange and smash into a tree. The resultant damage was enough to kill him.

Warlock decided to go in an area that was a tight fit for a human such as himself to chase down the halfling BBEG. So on his hands and knees he goes in to cast Arms of Hadar with the plan of nuke-and-run. Of course it fails to land properly and now he is stuck and going to die. I crawl in on my human paladin to rescue him, which I do but now I am considered prone. They land a few lucky crits and I am dead because of an impulsive warlock with half baked ideas.

Here at Mr. Ripper the cheese is to die for

Better title, Zappa and some randoms

I (the rogue) sassily mouthed off to the evil wizard, who was being powered by the phylactery of an arch lich. This obviously made the wizard really mad and I got power word killed immediately. The party managed to kill the wizard in some massive stroke of luck and I got revified afterwards. My rogue learned a valuable lesson that day 🙂↕️🙂↕️

Was the character who was turned into cheese a blue tiefling?

I was at a con in the late 70s playing AD&D for the first time. L1 party encounters a red dragon in the first room. Breath weapon. Three of us were toast(ed).

Had my level 3 wizard die instantly during an interrogation. We weren’t the ones getting interrogated. (It’s was campaign setting where characters could summon and unsummon magic items at will, and the particular individual we were interrogating had a weapon that roles an extra die every time the same number is rolled in a row. They had disadvantage on the attack but rolled a Double Nat 20, Then another through silvery barbs then rolled a 4, a 4, 4 again, another 4 and… yeah that was the end of my wizard.)

I love the player that came up with that idea. NO! Not in the way you think. I mean I want to have sex with him (or her).

Our team discovered that one of the Royalties benefactors was an ancient Wizard by the name of Al'Zhut. We discovered it's real identity, an Ancient False Hydra and our Barbarian decided to take a swat at the thing; the thing we suddenly forgotten existed before getting steamrolled by area of effect spells no one rolled high enough to deal with. The fact it wasn't at any point hostile with us and our DM asked "are you sure?" Made it all the more worse 😅

"What I am about to do has not been approved by the vatican."

How do you challenge a player who has an armored car and an autocannon at lvl 1 without making it into a meat grinder for the rest of the party? Answer; you don't, unless you're trying to DM Helldivers.

Fight Club reference, can't be wrong. Now some notes about lactose intolerance - because I am among those who can not *sniff* enjoy dairy. Butter has no dairy, it is now a fat so there is no danger for those with lactose intolerance - enjoy. Some cheeses are made from non-cow milk sources - so check on that. But certain cheeses - in the making of - particularly hard and aged (really aged) cheddars - are safe to consume. Just so you know.

I once put together a halfling paladin. I have a tendency to roll low in whatever game I get in, and this situation was no different: I'd asked for a little task from the local temple in the first session. I had to put down some sentient shrubs dancing out of control (like the brooms from The Sorcerer's Apprentice). I was dying to these shrubs, and when I killed the last one, the DM's roll revealed a badger, which brought me to 1 health. I was saved by another member of the party, but the DM was horrified at my abnormally low dice rolls.

From what I’ve seen, DND is a game where you can create a detailed character and then watch them die to a snake or do stupid stuff. Splendid.

If they mistook you for cheese why would they turn you into one?

TL;DR First character ever was Chaotic Stupid, experiences Gravity. NOTHING will beat my first character's death for me 😂 Half Orc Druid, level 3. Chaotic Good, but as it was my first game...well, that's why I'm here. Main weapon was a set of Spears passed down in his family. Well, at one point the party was fighting near some sort of precipice, I think it was the edge of a cliff or ravine. At some point, I end up making a ranged attack...Nat 1, the spear goes flying off the cliff. Enraged, I attempt to throw the second spear, and...NAT 1 AGAIN! Well, my character had a deep emotional attachment to the pair, as he received one spear from his mother during his coming-of-age, and the other one from his tribe, who gave it to him when his father died on a hunt. End up failing an insight check to assess the situation... So, I jump after them. Off the cliff. I use Wild Shape to try and get out of dying, but I hadn't leveled up enough for any flying creatures yet. So my best chance was to Wild Shape into to try and tank as much damage as possible....but even then. I end up at the bottom of a ravine, taking enough damage to force a transformation back to normal and instantly dying. I learned a lot of things that day... Rolled up a new character, who I still play to this day. He remembers his stupid cousin and how he died over a couple spears.

Context: We, a long time friend group were playing with a new guy. Homebrew horror setting. DM: "You see what appears to be a dragon in the dar--" Goblin: "I want to fuck it." Now mind you, DM has no tolerance for people who do this. DM: "Roll a D2--" *Nat 20.* DM pauses for a moment and gets an idea. *DM rolls D20.* Bard: "What are--" *16.* DM: "As you attempt to seduce the dragon, You see that it is a male with a 16 inch cock. It mates you to death." This lets us sneak past and get the loot. This isn't even the funniest way our DM has killed someone 😂

Please stop with the weird images in the thumbnail

Getting headshoted by my own attack when playing in Starfinder, what thee actually hell! And it wasn’t even in a hard fight!

“You’re lucky it’s impossible to sue someone for being ugly, because if it was, I’d place a cease and desist on that face.”

I was DMing a campaign where one session revolved around the players visiting a circus whose claim to fame was that they had tamed many giant insects and used them for the majority of their shows and games. At a point where the players had been roped into the main event of the night and were told their task was to tame an Antlion. At the time, the antlion was just there to pad the circus quest a little bit before they fought the ringmaster boss. However, the players, instead of just fighting it like I had intended, recruited it to their side and immediately made it their mascot. It became one of the most important characters in the campaign and at the end killed the BBEG in a single hit. The Antlion has now featured in every game since.

I had one where I was killed by being shot at point blank by a Pirate Captain, then on the turn where I succeeded my death save I basically stood up just for that same Captain to stab me dead again. I survived the encore, but that was annoying for me.

Well he didn’t die from it but I feel it’s worth mentioning here because of how close he came to dying over the most stupid of reasons. I’m playing a spelljammer session that allows for homebrew species so I play a Thrro Warlock, basically they’re a pretty grumpy teddy bear. This is at the start of the session where all the party members are meeting up before they get their first quest. Now one of the party members, a Aarakocra Fighter, was boasting about themselves and was lying about certain things which my character was able to tell were lies thanks to a successful insight roll. I figured it would be an in character thing for my Thrro to pull a prank on him in response by pretending to be his conscious calling him out for lying. Now I have to admit that I am still fairly new to dnd and still am learning the mechanics of the classes. What I had meant to use here was my Awakened Mind ability…. But a mistake was made and instead Dissonant Whispers was cast instead. Now upon realizing this screw up I actually tried to ask the DM if I could take back my action. Buuuuut well here’s where the dumb part comes in. The player of the fighter actually STEPPED in and insisted that I stick with my action. They wanted to look really cool passing the Will save and resist the spell. Me and the DM made very sure they wanted to do this and they said yes. We pretty much shrugged and rolled our dice. They failed their roll. So I had to roll for damage and I kid you not my rolls were so high that the fighter was left with just TWO HITPOINTS after that attack! The DM described him hearing horrible voices whispering in his head that made his brain go into overdrive trying to comprehend the horrors he was hearing before they faded away. Thankfully since it was at the start we were able to heal the fighter up. But we still laugh at it as hard as we did then as it’s so hilariously stupid to think of how the Aarakocra fighter, that was introduced all cocky like, nearly DYING TO A SMALL PINK TEDDY BEAR RIGHT AT THE START OF THE CAMPAIGN OVER WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PINOCCHIO JOKE

So around the beginning of new campaigns I always ask my players what kind of reward they'd like to get for their character. The more simple it is the sooner they can get it. One of my players, playing a golden dragonborn druid, asked for a random useless item that's kinda cool for his character to play with. I ended up giving him essentially a cursed tamagotchi that couldn't leave his possession. It was a single stone with a moving inscription of an ancient golden dragon. It had two buttons carved into its base, one would provide food when the dragon appeared hungry, the other gold and gems when it appeared displeased. Nobody thought to question why it was cursed. The worst it could do was teleport back into his pocket or making a strange chiming sound telling you the dragon is in need. (We would use the chiming sound to describe why he would fail stealth roles.) Due to circumstances, the campaign ended early. The party never learned the truth of the stone tamagotchi. They never learned of the soul trapped inside, thanks to the piety of this once great ancient golden dragon.

That's what you get for pissing off Sheogorath!😂😂😂

Drinking competition, with a dwarf, enough said

Did my answer get deleted?

the DM made "the mistake" of introducing a Pseudo dragon (those cute little mischievous buggers) on session 1. Had to throw the backstory and character i'd designed out the window and pivot to a character that'd have the traits and personality that'd attract the cute little thing.. in like ten seconds. X.X very unrealistic (strike one) I've been hit by a car and less thoughts and panic went through my head then compared to being told there's a Pseudo dragon in front of me. Like, i imagined those cute little champs would take me months if not years of sessions to even meet one. Nah here it is on session 1. So guess who broke his own rule of no Metagaming? Guess who failed miserably on every roll AND the DM caught on to my intent AND my metagaming so i got punished with lost hitpoints and 'suggestions' by the DM to cut it out. BUT YEARS OF WAITING soooooo i kept trying. Till one of my 'amusing' antics caused me to euh... i broke my own neck. fell off a table, slipped on some of my own caltrops (?) and broke my neck. 20-25 minutes into session 1.

We were fighting horde of goblins because we wanted theyr castle to rent it to rich idiots to make some fat god purses. We got surrounded, our warlock was sniping them from the back and my paladin who broke his oath to protect his friends grapped our rogue and threw him closer to warlock and shouted "You, run and live, I hold them back" Only problem was that our rogue had couple of beers and was not paying attention. He just used his action to run back to my paladin and both of us died. We banned drinking in the game after that

During just a simple campaign that lasted a week I got killed by lava by not making a jump then when I got back up I got a boulder thrown at me and got killed again not a fun time.

That first story, according to the internet, is the most roguiest thing a rogue could rogue.

Objective: survive

Playing Call of Cththullu and the group was kidnapped while working at Area 51. Party gets gassed and knocked unconscious. When the party comes to, we are led through a series of rooms in what appears to be an insane asylum. When we each shown to a different room, we eventually find each other and sneak up on a nurse to press her for information. The nurse informs the party that she is one of the few humans here. The rest of the "people" are actually alien bugs, and they are looking to harvest every human here. The guards catch us while pressing the nurse for information. At night, we try to sneak out when a nurse sees us. One of the players stupidly ask, "So I hear you're a bug?" This nurse, being a bug, screeches and alerts everyone else. We run into a portal room, only to have bugs defeat us easily, harvest and preserve our brains, and force us to relive this over and over again until we give up all information on Area 51.

So our table did tomb of horrors mofief original version we adapted to 5e. It was my turn to dm this;. I opted not to reas ahead because i was also playing. This was a dream sequence and I was the first one out flipping a switch a statue fell on me and those pack of animals known as my dnd group though it was funny to have the statue have gigantic boobs. So in reality i got death by giant badonkadonks. I made them all pay as the tomb picked them off one by one.

Well here's three I've experienced. 1: Tabaxi Rouge sneaks through a wizard tower. Steps on a magic carpet that suddenly flies up and flips the cat man down a magically endless staircase, his broken body is still stumbling through the dimensional loop dimension to this day. 2: Dwarf Barbarian tries out the cookies he just bought from the nice cookie gnomes. Forgot to ask what cookies it was and died due to an allergic reaction to sweet delicious chocolate chip almond cookies. He was allergic to chocolate, not almonds. 3: Kobold Fighter tries to push open a door in a dungeon. Crit on the roll. Roleplay my metal little dragon boy jump kicks the door down. DM describes how I kick down the door perfectly and fly into the open caping chasm on the other side. There was less than 5 ft of a ledge behind the door and by my description, I flew 10 ft past the door. I plummeted 200+ feet into the Underdark and the DM rolled a 1d100 on what I hit on the way down. He had a laugh as he described my kobold metal bucket hitting the left head of a rampaging demigorgon in the underdark and ending up with a smear on his forehead. The one positive my character did was give the demon lord of the abyss's left head one hell of a headache.

My dumbest character death is also why I dislike paladins. Paladin of the party found out my character was evil by suddenly popping a detect good and evil while it was just the party at xamp and finds out my weretiger necromancer is evil. The book defined weretigers as always evil at the time. My character's backstory was antipaladin after one ripped the child from her womb. The paladin player had been stealing look a player's secrets when the DM went to the bathroom or while we were on break and decided to murk my character in her sleep. The DM was new and hated conflict so she allowed it to happen. I made it my life's mission to make sure this guy never liked playong at our tanle ever again.

Happened to a player of mine: Wizard decides to climb 100ft sheer cliff. Areyousure.wav? Yes because he will tie himself to the elf ranger. Neither of them have any athletics to speak of. First try the wizard fails, drops from above and smashes into the cliff. The ranger holds steady despite disadvantage. Wizard is at half health but insists. They fail again, this time close to the top and they both fall 90ft with the ranger having a cushy landing atop the wizard. Wizard was the only person proficient with medicine. Ranger walked away from all of this stupidity

PANR has tuned in.

I'm thoroughly enjoying the exchange of ideas and perspectives in this thread. It's intellectually stimulating.😚

0 views in 0.2 seconds, bro fell off

I was once allowed to put a poetable hole over a dragon's head, then was allowed to try and throw my bag of holding into said portable hole. I rolled real low (DM even gave me advantage, AND I use 2 lucky charges) so it didnt happen, but it would have been glorious

We just started a new campaign that takes place on an island west of The Swords Coasts where are mission is to help colonize the area. I’m playing a Waterdavian half-elf Paladin who joined The Order Of The Gauntlet and was redeployed to the island after the disaster at Camp Righteous as described in Tomb Of Horrors(I think). So he’s a young veteran of the Chultan jungles having just arrived in a fairly unknown colony. First thing I have him do is go to the local guild to recruit a team for a hunting trip west of the settlement where he collects a dwarf and a half giant. We’re currently working out a deal with the local Inn where we’ll sell them the hides and meat of what we hunt.