I'm glad you found it helpful! Compared to top surgery and hysterectomy, going on T was a much harder decision for me to make, and I spent a *lot* of time scouring social media for accounts from people with similar experiences when I was still uncertain.

Thank you! :)

I was initially just going to delete this comment because I don't think it was made in good faith, but instead I think I'll respond to it point by point in hopes that it better clarifies my choices for anyone else who may see it and have a genuine interest. 1. I am very aware of how T affects my health. It is prescribed to me by my primary care doctor, and I have blood work done annually to ensure that things like my hormone levels, cholesterol, etc. are in healthy ranges. These kinds of things are impacted far more by family history and genetics than by testosterone alone. My health is no more at risk than any cisgender man in my family. 2. I assure you that I have listened to my 'higher self'. I spent many years considering what steps I wanted to take before deciding to medically transition, you just don't see that on this channel because I wasn't making videos about it. There was a lot of introspection and discussion with therapists that went into my decisions. 3. You will note in the video that I did experiment with presentation - I presented very masculinely before, and I did not find it fulfilling. Similarly, presenting fully femininely did not make me happy for the many years I did it while growing up. I prefer to present androgynously and to mix masculine and feminine aspects into my expression. Prior to testosterone, I had to choose between presenting how I wanted to (a mix of masculine and feminine elements) and being perceived by others how I wanted to (either ambiguous or as a mixture of man and woman). I could present very masculinely and be perceived by others in the way that I wanted, or I could present androgynously like I wanted to and be perceived almost exclusively as a woman. Testosterone gave me the ability to not have to choose between those two options. Also, I think your focus on the social dysphoria aspect here ignores that I did also discuss bodily dysphoria and how testosterone improved that for me as well. No amount of changes to my presentation would have improved how I felt about my voice and body. 4. I just wanna say that "on the T tap for life" is an absolutely hilarious phrase - it makes it sound like I'm getting testosterone on draft at a bar. However, the issue here is the pharmaceutical industry and healthcare system, not individual patients. You could just as easily say that the producers of my long term asthma medication and my rescue inhaler are "raking in the money" - and you'd be right. It is a bad system, but that doesn't mean that I can or should stop taking those medications. As a final point: I am happy, fulfilled, and thriving in my personal life. I'm not going to change what I am doing when I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I'm glad you got some use out of the video! I'll aim to get a video done about my hysterectomy sometime in the next few weeks :)

Hi! My surgery was covered by my insurance, but it was a battle to get them to approve it. I'm going to make a more detailed video about it at some point, but it took me about 8 months of fighting with my insurance and ultimately getting legal help for it to be covered. The remainder after insurance I was able to pay with out of my own savings. As far as pain, it honestly wasn't too bad. I only took the prescribed painkillers for 2 days, and after that I switched to extra-strength Tylenol. The first night when I had an ace bandage around my chest was the worst; after that came off, I mainly just experienced some pretty strong soreness. I was only really in pain if I moved in a way I wasn't ready for, i.e. raising my arms. Dr. Dulin is a very skilled surgeon, and he's very professional and friendly. The only issue I had was him trying to convince me to get nipple grafts, but it was easy enough to stand my ground on that. I'd highly recommend him. Hope this answers your questions, and thanks for the comment!

I’m researching getting insurance to cover cost now but it seems soo complicated. I’m not on T so I was wondering how that plays into everything, if at all. Please keep me posted on the insurance video because I’d love to see it. I was almost thinking of moving to another state to try for different perhaps better insurance coverage with no exclusions. Thanks

Thanks for the reply, I'm doing well! She's an absolute handful, and I love her to bits lol.

Thanks for the comment, Mark! I'm so glad you were able to come out to your family! Hope you have an amazing day as well.

I'm glad you found the video helpful! It makes me really glad to find other people like me as well.

Sort of...I've been out at some jobs and not others depending on my employer. At my last job as a park ranger, my boss was pretty relaxed and progressive, so I asked him to use he/him pronouns for me and had no issues. He/him pronouns aren't my top preference, but I didn't know if they/them would be doable around some of my other coworkers, and he/him still feels better than she/her. However, at my current job as a teaching assistant, I'm not out because I'm still a student in the department I teach in, and some of the professors and my peers are very conservative. I don't know your exact situation, but it really depends on your work environment - if you can get your boss or HR to back you up, then coming out should be doable.

Mx August Yeah that might be possible

You're definitely making sense, and I appreciate your response! It really is strange transitioning without a clear end goal. I do have intense physical dysphoria, and the primary reason for my transition is for the same reason as you - to exist in my body without agony. It's just a little more confusing since having a totally male body would cause me as much dysphoria as a totally female body currently does. My desire to appear androgynous is a product of both physical and social dysphoria. And like you, I don't think I'll ever be able to totally alleviate all of my dysphoria - I'll always have wider hips than I want, for example - but I think I can alleviate it enough to live happily. Ultimately, the closest I've come to a final transition "goal" is top surgery + hysterectomy + voice training. I think that's what it will take to alleviate my dysphoria, but if it doesn't, I'll have to reevaluate. I don't think there necessarily needs to be a concrete end goal, though - people change throughout their lives in so many respects, and what I need now may differ from what I need in the future. I hope I explained this well - let me know!

I'm so glad you found the video helpful! I was worried no one would be able to relate to it, and it makes me really happy to hear from people with similar experiences.