darceylauren

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@zachberry4742 3 күн бұрын

So does being autistic mean you’re sociopathic? Because that’s what it sounds like.

@darceylauren Күн бұрын

Sociopaths have no emotions. Autistic people have too many so no…

@zachberry4742 22 сағат бұрын

@@darceylauren That’s not true though. Psychopaths have no emotions. Sociopaths have an explosion 💥 of emotions depending on the situation.

@darceylauren 19 сағат бұрын

@@zachberry4742 they still have a lack of emotion though and definitely no empathy, which autistic people feel intensely plus a huge range of emotions

@zachberry4742 17 сағат бұрын

@@darceylauren This feels like a much larger conversation. I’ve recently started working with someone that says they’re autistic, but I’m having a lot of doubts. I know that autism is real and that it exists on a spectrum, but some of these people that claim to be autistic I just don’t believe. Yet, when I say this they get offended. They tell me that I’m offending an entire group vs just them personally and at a certain point I understand why people w autism have a hard time finding work. If you run the risk of offending an entire group of people because you call out their claims of autism then they become a liability. I even asked this person what makes them autistic or neurodivergent and I don’t necessarily see what makes them entirely different from the average neurotypical person. I was told, “I’m neurodivergent which means I think differently from other people.” Ok? Most people on average will think differently in some way from one person to the next. Then it was “ I stim” which means you either make a lot of hand movements or fidget around in some way. I too make a lot of hand movements or talk with my hands yet that doesn’t feel like something that makes me neurodivergent. Then it became” I collect a lot of dolls” I mean I know that’s a thing as well, but she’s a girl and she collects stuffed animals… so just collecting things or a specific thing is an indicator? I need better indicators of what truly makes a person autistic because I have people claiming to be autistic who have been diagnosed by doctors saying these are key traits yet I just don’t see it. I’m not convinced fully. At times it feels like an excuse for potentially bad behavior. I can’t even say to this person, “ I doubt you have autism” without hearing about how ignorant I am. I have no problem learning more about autism, but I refuse to be told I can’t question someone’s autism or their neurodiversity just because they have a doctors diagnosis. Doctors used to give people weed cards if they mentioned they had bad anxiety when we all knew it was a way to get marijuana without getting arrested. I don’t firmly believe every person diagnosed with autism is autistic. Unless it’s a severe case like being nonverbal or having severe deficits that are too noticeable to ignore I can’t believe every claim even with a doctors diagnosis. I don’t want to sound ignorant and I’m open to changing my stance with more information, but autism is a tough sell for me at times unless it’s more noticeable.

@Elsewhen404 7 күн бұрын

Friendships are one difficulty of mine as well.

@morten2001 19 күн бұрын

Thanks for a very interesting video!👌 Please make a video about alcohol and autism too. Love to see your take on it😊

@slimesplash_wiz 27 күн бұрын

I've also always had only one close friend at a time, which I guess is bad because I was relying on them too much, if they couldn't be there I'd be completely alone, same for when our friendship ended. I guess it also places too much pressure on the other person, to be "the ultimate friend", I want to try keeping multiple connections in the future but it's so hard to find even one

@Elsewhen404 7 күн бұрын

Are you ASD yourself? You could always try me, Autism is a weight I carry.

@slimesplash_wiz 4 күн бұрын

@@Elsewhen404 I'm self diagnosed if it counts! if you want to chat I have a discord: slimesplash_art

@slimesplash_wiz 4 күн бұрын

@@Elsewhen404 I'm self diagnosed if it counts! I'd like to chat, youtube doesn't let me share any links though

@admin_KONOHA Ай бұрын

😽💓💕

@zarradsana5888 Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your story

@Vegcrafttt Ай бұрын

Not all autistic people can drive. I barely can. Please remember level 2s and 3s when you are educating people.

@Vegcrafttt Ай бұрын

It can't happen during birth. It is our brain structure. Not a chemical imbalance. It is our neurons and structure. It happens when our brain is formed. Not when we are born. This drives me nuts.

@syberphish Ай бұрын

"When you just met somebody you wouldn't tell them all your darkest secrets and true confessions and expect to be having sleep overs right away". ....Oops. Yeah once I decide I accept someone I let my walls down to them fully and it freaks people out.

@sensitiveyogatherapy Ай бұрын

Resonate a lot with this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙏

@angiemac4662 Ай бұрын

Hi, this video was really helpful for me. I'm considering just self diagnosing, and I had no idea friendships were such a big part of autism. I literally have no friends. I'm okay with it now, I'm 28, but it's always been confusing and your video was me to a T growing up 😭 I feel so seen

@closeben Ай бұрын

Thanks for this video. Videos like this that I strongly relate to are helping me figure out that I should probably seek an assessment for myself, although it seems comlpicated and expensive where I live.

@angiemac4662 Ай бұрын

Love it, thank you!!!!! I personally love move decks. Madame web is going to be wild

@Henry-Higgins-1488 Ай бұрын

no friends

@justinhambidge8811 Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing, good video. I’m married with two children but still struggle with creating, maintaining friendships, and communication.

@julielisanne 2 ай бұрын

I agree with almost everything! Except for that conversations with autistics are bad or one-worded :( I've had the best conversations with other autistics but maybe some autistics are like that

@Elsewhen404 7 күн бұрын

I'm an Autistic myself, you could try conversing with me.

@wigglyfruit4708 2 ай бұрын

Oooh boy this is so relatable especially when you mentioned the whole not understanding the friendship stages. Been there. Also one other thing I think my autism does is makes the reality of situations super apparent and takes me out of finding them fun. Like I can immediately tell that a theme park is mostly cash grabs and a bunch of glitz and glamour for cheap trinkets and overpriced food. Or that parties are full of people getting horribly drunk and risky situations and way too much noise. Or eating out is just sometimes out of budget or hard to find food everyone wants to eat. Like this really kills the amount of things I want to do with people and makes it hard to find things to do so I can keep my friends around. 😅 I’m a homebody through and through.

@tdesq.2463 2 ай бұрын

Excellent presentation! Thank You!

@Bittagrit 3 ай бұрын

I was told by a psychologist that autistic people don’t have empathy. I described picking up others feelings and energy that make me exhausted.

@andrewgarcia6951 3 ай бұрын

❤

@StereodreieckRC 3 ай бұрын

Bodylanguage is easy, if you bought the right book and leaned the right things.

@rachelevans6711 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for this. Waiting for my ASD assessment. Any advice on what to do when friends don't return your messages?

@justinhambidge8811 Ай бұрын

This would be a good video. I do know that some neurotypical family/friends just don’t get back. Understanding social communication is hard. Have you opened up to them on how you may struggle with this?

@amberhaynes9541 3 ай бұрын

I was diagnosed with severe ocd onset age 7 then bpd and now my GP thinks I may be on the spectrum and advised me to seek a private assessment. It's like a light bulb going off right now watching this, Thank you x

@maryhazlett 4 ай бұрын

This is my first video of yours. I'm stunned at how accurately you've described my experiences. You had me at the beginning when you talked about the stages of friendship, knowing what they are, but not understanding where you are in the stages. Like you, I meet someone, geek connected and then share/dump on them all of my deepest feelings. I'm 66, a retired F. And, i struggle with understanding how someone could need others in their life because of COURSE I should be their end all and be all! (sarcasm). Then I feel rejected. That's something I completely obsess about. The last little thing causes me to feel rejected. Thank you so much for this video.

@merbst 4 ай бұрын

I know exactly how you feel in every way.

@EamonWill 4 ай бұрын

This hurt to watch! This helped me to understand my struggles with socializing even when on the surface I seem to be really good at it.

@First._.Last. 4 ай бұрын

I found this to be well-organized, clearly articulated and informative - I appreciate your insight.

@isabellammusic 4 ай бұрын

I can relate so much to this! I'm struggling to make friends and always have. During childhood I felt so left out in school and I didn't know how to connect to people. I wasn't interested in talking about the same things and I've realized I was dissociating because I had issues with eye contact and to talk to strangers. It's very hard for me to feel safe. It feels like everyone's judging me. I think that's the black and white thinking. I felt rejected because I was so different.

@isabellammusic 4 ай бұрын

I also want to say I've been observing body language, facial expressions and social cues since I was very little and I wanted to change everything about myself to be accepted. I realized I'm Audhd at the age of 37 so I didn't understand this for a very long time. I got a burnout and identity crisis and that's when everything changed.

@sarahferrell5458 4 ай бұрын

Omg-im 57 and have never had anyone describe ME LIKE THIS BEFORE.

@NFSMAN50 4 ай бұрын

Very informative video. Im also autistic, but a guy, these are all true. Decided to subscribe to your channel!! Thanks for sharing!

@Krista-388 4 ай бұрын

I so appreciate you didnt edit out the part where im pretty sure you forgot what you were saying and had a few different facial expresssions and im so glad i noticed because it was really validating as I do this and usually im embarrassed. Also yes to wanting to punch people.

@michaelvandenheuvel317 4 ай бұрын

more then special friend ? 🤣🤭🤫😉😘

@lauraholladay 4 ай бұрын

great video! I'd love to hear more thoughts on interpersonal stuff like how you feel about breaking into a current conversation. I'm often meek and that leads to people talking over me

@TheUnoriginalOtaku 4 ай бұрын

Yeah, I remember when I tried seeking diagnosis, I was told “I don’t think you have autism because you want friends.” That was so frustrating.

@mariezguitar5029 4 ай бұрын

I think it’s easier to make friends when you surround yourself with others who share your special interests. One expression that I find helpful is that sometimes people are friends for a reason, a season, a lifetime. So you might have some people who are friends with you because you’re all going through a situation and so you bond for that reason. These people may or may not evolve into a deeper friendship. Then there are others who share something for a long time. A good example is moms in the neighbourhood who have children the same age. If there are other common interests, those friendships may evolve. But if there isn’t other commonalities, then when your children graduate and move away, the mom groups often dissolve. This is friendship for a season. Either of the first two groups or even random people who don’t seem to have anything in common can become a lifetime friend. These ones are rare. These are the people you can call at 3:00 am and they will answer the phone. Those friends are one or two in a lifetime. Neurotypical people tend to call everyone friends but those people are more likely acquaintances, reasons and seasons people. Neuro-diverse people are only really interested in the lifetime type, the kind who don’t even feel like people, the kind you can sit in silence with. So I keep the phrase reasons, seasons and lifetime in my head. That way, I’m less often offended by the shallowness of a conversation. Some people go to deep conversations quickly, those are more likely to be the lifetime people.

@user-ox6nc6ly7f 4 ай бұрын

🤔hmmm how to make friends when you involuntarily make people feel inferior... too many don't want to grow and learn.

@valeriaswanne 4 ай бұрын

Mmmm pass. I'm good.

@maggiewilder8856 4 ай бұрын

I can absolutely read people so far as if they're sheisty or unsafe, but do I have a clue if they think I'm cool or want to be my friend? Hell no, not a bit. As long as I'm outside looking in, and not a part of the interaction, I can read intentions and all that stuff so accurately. Maybe in my case part of my issue is how much thought I have to put into being in the interaction that I miss everything else.

@scipioafricanus5871 4 ай бұрын

On body language: When everyone around you is Daft Punk.

@scipioafricanus5871 4 ай бұрын

08:01 Darcey Lauren: I'm sorry, I didn't know we had an Open Friendship???

@ToplessTopics 4 ай бұрын

I followed the recommendation for this video after watching "autism and pretty privilege" by Of Herbs and Altars and honestly it's like the perfect double-feature, you both make such great points. I can't quite relate to some of it, I'm an only child with no cousins I got along well with so I had no one to help me make friends, and as a result I have never really had any female friends...and basically every male friend, especially when I was younger (late teen to mid twenties) turned out to be textbook "nice guys" just hanging around hoping I'd someday have sex with them. I'm almost 40 now and I keep telling myself I've given up on forming friendships with people who couldn't possibly be interested in having sex with me, but then I'll get along really well with a woman at a nightclub or convention or something, we'll exchange numbers and promise to hang out again soon, but then...I'm always the one doing any of the texting, and getting them to agree to go out to an event together (my house is too chaotic to have people over until I know they won't mind the noise and mess) or to even reply to my texts at all just sucks all the joy and energy out of my attempt at forging that friendship, and so I go back to not even trying. And even if I had the energy to keep trying to reach out, I've been burned too many times by being told I'm "annoying" so of course if they don't enthusiastically agree to hang out with me at my first asking, then clearly it's a sign that they were just being nice and don't actually have any desire to be friends with me so why don't I just take the hint and stop trying...(: Sorry that turned into a long rant, lol. just wanted to say, excellent video, and I look forward to watch more of yours!

@celinameus4508 4 ай бұрын

THERE ARE LEVELS?!?! this would explain why I'm 30yo and completely alone..

@DerekKerr-og9uf 17 күн бұрын

Same. Levels of friendships is blowing my mind.

@analyticsystem4094 4 ай бұрын

I’ve always been passive with making friends. I never engaged in asking someone to be my friend, I just kinda waited for people to come ask me to be their friend. I’ve never been great at socializing so I just left friendship up to others so I didn’t accidentally screw it up. I’ve always been ‘the introvert adopted by a friend group of extroverts’ type of friend and I’m okay with that

@ramune64 4 ай бұрын

I always assume i am NOT anyones friend unless i get explicit confirmation. I'm terrified to make that mistake again! Its much safer to be alone😂

@darceylauren 4 ай бұрын

There will be people out there that don’t care and as long as you have one person, even if that’s a family member, it doesn’t matter! My partner is the same as me in this regard so he didn’t mind my immediate assumption that we were best friends from day 1 🤣

@FluffyBuffy27 4 ай бұрын

I love the self awareness! Though I don't particularly enjoy the fact that autistic individuals are forced into this self awareness. I am autistic and have realized that I had to grow up faster than my peers in order to appropriately integrate into society.

@darceylauren 4 ай бұрын

Crazy that you say this cos I’m having this issue at the moment, coming to terms with the whole ‘masking’ and fitting in with society! It’s making me feel lost 🫠

@marywilson1709 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for this video! I can relate to a lot of this - especially wanting just one friend who doesn't have any other friends. I didn't realise other people had this issue!

@glorymaemantua8270 5 ай бұрын

Wow 😲 me I have 14 since 2017 to present:) The rest is still unwritten ❤️ 📚

@ergar90 5 ай бұрын

That could have been me talking. That was the most relatable video for me on KZbin.

@Christine83507 5 ай бұрын

I totally relate to this! Thanks for giving words to this challenging topic.

@williamoarlock8634 5 ай бұрын

I can't have friends because I'm worthless autistic garbage and I hate associating with other 'neurodivergent' abortions.

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