I am looking at the Two baby Teddy Bears.. the Twins and I would be smiling.. SO Beautiful and So Cute.. as they are both sitting next to each other.. I want to Hold the Little Son and the Little Daughter.. Both holding Your Pictures and Looking at YOU.. I would hear the Word MOMMA.. Where is my MOMMA and I would see the Eyes looking at me.. I am trying to get the two to go into the Bed.. but.. It seems like they do NOT want to go to sleep yet.. and I am not sure.. but around this Time.. I would put them into the ROOM and Into their Cribs.. But this very Night.. I see the Two.. the Little SON.. with the Baby Blue shirt.. the Little Daughter with Pink Shirt.. a BOW on top of the Head.. I am looking at the two Bowls.. as I would LOOK at the Phone and to Face TIME you so that the Two Can say something to their MOMMA.. as I am calling YOU on the Phone.. I cannot believe that the Little Daughter.. She does NOT cry any more when I try to Pick her UP.. my Smile grows and I can't believe it.. as I see YOU on the Face TIME.. I wanted to share this news.. and I see YOU.. and YOU be smiling.. but I am also so Happy right Now.. and I hear Your Voice.. the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I see the eyes grows Big and the ears be moving.. Knowing that It is a Voice so Familiar to Them.. and I hear.. the Little SON.. with BABY BLUE shirt.. both Arms raises and hands opens.. MOMMA.. and I be smiling.. Yes.. It is MOMMA.. Your MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see the LITTLE DAUGHTER.. raising UP the Bowl.. saying the FOOD is finished.. and SMILES looking at Me.. with this JOY in my Heart.. I can't stop crying because It was so hard to get this LITTLE ONE.. the LITTLE DAUGHTER to eat.. I did Not want to force anything.. and I would hear crying and never thought that this day would could.. as I would turn the Phone where the Face TIME shows Your Face.. the Two BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Little SON.. the Lips.. SMILES so BIG with his Sister.. the Little Daughter.. and I see the hands be waving looking at YOU.. I just got this Bow.. the Pink Bow for the Little Daughter.. I just could Not believe that the Little Daughter.. I would sit next to her.. holding the Bowl with a Spoon.. I was Not sure if she would eat or Not.. But.. I started to cry as I put Rice and Beef Meat.. she opens her mouth and starts to chew and eat.. I wanted to call you with the Face Time to show YOU the Little Daughter.. there would been a lot of fits and pushes.. head turning on the Side and I could Not put anything Into her mouth.. and I would sit.. just worried to death.. but Now.. as I am looking at YOU on the Face TIME.. I would hear YOU telling your Children that YOU be coming Home very soon.. and that How much MOMMA misses her babies.. and How you wanted to come sooner.. and watching the Two.. the Little BABY TEDDY BEARS.. holding hands would not go to sleep.. knowing you be coming Home tomorrow must of gave some kind of excitement in the Hearts of Your Children.. and this Morning.. I know that the Little SON.. I would put the Bowl next to HIM.. he would eat alone without any Help.. but Putting the bowl Next to the Little Daughter.. She would Not eat.. I would try to tell the Little Daughter.. if YOU don't eat.. you can get sick.. and I will be sick too and even Your MOMMA be sick with me too.. so Please.. eat so that I can share HOW good daughter YOU BEEN with me.. and I would come closer.. as I sit Next to the Little Daughter.. I grabbed a PINK BOW and Put on top.. showing the Mirror to say.. YOU are the Most Prettiest Little Daughter I ever seen.. and I saw the smile.. grabbing the SPOON.. putting a RICE and the beef.. the Mouth opens wide and I put the spoon into her mouth.. as I see her chew and eat.. I just could NOT hold my tears in.. I just could Not believe that finally I am able to feed this Little Daughter.. in the hand.. there is a Picture.. I would open her Hand and to look at what Picture and it is a Picture of YOU.. and I would look at YOU through this Picture.. my hand touches My Chest and I would say.. WHY do you Burn my Heart.. WHY do you do this TO ME and even bringing the Twins.. the Little SON and the Little Daughter.. my Heart beat faster as I spend the time with Them.. they are so Adorable and so Cute.. never imagined in my Life that I could even fall more harder for YOU because I feel like I am a part of something Bigger now.. I remember when YOU first called me on the Phone.. and asking ME that YOU had to go somewhere.. and YOU had a problem.. that YOU could Not take your Children with YOU.. and needed them to be place by somewhere safe and secure and wanted to ask me a Favor.. if I could baby sit your children while YOU are away on this Business journey.. I remember I paused for a few minutes.. trying to think straight because I was Not sure if it was the right THING to bring your Two Children.. and YOU told me that they are two.. One is a Boy and the Other is a girl.. and they are Twins.. Little SON and the Little Daughter.. and it is a hard decision for YOU to leave them behind but this trip was very important for YOU.. of course I did Not want to say NO.. I had NO experience of How to deal with kids.. I never had any children on my own so I am Not sure what I am suppose to DO.. but.. of course I know that THIS IS a very Important business meeting.. this trip YOU must take and YOU MUST go so I told YOU.. Yes.. it is because I love YOU.. it is because It is YOU and as long as it is YOU WHO I LOVE the Most.. it does Not matter.. because I will try to be a GOOD baby sitter.. I remember when the DOOR knocked on the Front Door.. did Not expected much.. opening the DOOR.. I saw the Two crying.. I was Not sure.. How am I suppose to handle both be crying.. holding unto MOMMA.. and when YOU try to bring the LITTLE SON closer.. and He was in your Arm and the Little Daughter.. You were holding her hands.. and I saw your steps closer asking me to hold and Carry the Little SON.. he started to Cry Louder as He came into my Arms.. and the Little Daughter started to cry louder and sat on the Floor.. did Not want to come into the House.. and as I would look at this.. My Heart started to feel cracking inside.. started to feel this breaking deep within me.. WHY.. they do not understand why YOU have to leave them with Me.. and when I went inside the House holding the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little SON.. He is looking at YOU from the back.. arms stretching to YOU.. and Made me stop.. My Heart just could Not handle this pain of hearing this ONE cry and asking for YOU.. asking for His MOMMA and WHY you had to leave HIM with me.. and I would stand still thinking.. what am I suppose to do if they keep on crying.. asking for YOU.. and what do I do when they keep crying over and over.. and I turn around to ask YOU this Question.. I see you walk into this House.. YOU were holding the Other Little BABY Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter.. and YOU went over to the Couch and Put the Little Daughter to sit still and I would come over to Place and sit the Little SON next to her.. both crying.. and hands be rubbing the eyes looking at YOU and Looking at me.. and I would say.. and YOU would give a Phone to the Little Daughter.. and Placing the Hand of the Little SON.. telling the Two YOU be coming Home soon.. and that I am a BABY Sitter for few days so Don't cry.. and I see the two Stop crying when YOU tell them that.. and I see YOU with Your Other Phone and YOU dial the Number.. and the Phone would ring.. the Little Daughter looks at the Phone.. the Little SON looks at the Phone and presses.. and It is the Face Time.. and the two looks at the Face Time.. I see YOU walking back.. and YOU are talking to the two Little BABY TEDDY BEARS and I would watch them smile.. hands be waving looking at YOU through the Phone and giving them two Pictures.. One for the Little SON and the Other for the Little Daughter.. so that YOU are near and YOU gave me One too.. and as I would look at YOU.. I would watch YOU say good bye and Left the Front Door.. I remember the first Night.. I just could Not sleep at all.. and the two Would Not sleep either.. both sitting on the Couch and would be crying.. asking for YOU.. for MOMMA.. of course every one Hour I would hear the Phone ringing and the Two siting next to each Other.. they would fight for the Phone.. pushing the Button for the Face TIME.. I see them showing Teeth and growling that One of them has to talk and the Other.. as I would watch still on the corner.. I did Not want to bother any of them because of how the two.. the Little BABY TEDDY bears kept on crying crying after YOU would hang UP the Phone.. pushing and shoving who is going to answer next.. after a long period of time crying.. I would hear silence.. and when I look at the Couch.. the two be sleeping next to each other.. and I would walk into the ROOM.. and the Picture YOU gave me.. I would go over to the desk and sit alone.. looking at your Picture.. I would be thinking.. they been crying all through the day after you left.. and the two do Not want to eat either.. they do NOT want to drink any waters.. sits on that couch.. LOOKS at your Pictures crying and looks at the Phone to see it rings.. and I am looking at your Picture.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to bring those two into my House and I know that I have NO experience with children.. what if they keep on crying asking for YOU.. I hear where is MOMMA.. why isn't MOMMA calling the Phone.. and Keeps on crying for YOU.. and Now there is Peace and silence as I am sitting in this ROOM alone.. of course if the Two Little Ones are crying Out for YOU.. asking and missing YOU.. I know that my Heart truly feels the same.. that I do want to see YOU SOON too and that I know what the two Little TEDDY BEARS are feeling

Again.. this Cry.. it cries and cries.. My Heart cries OUT loud the way the two Baby Teddy Bears be crying Out.. wiping the Tears.. grabbing unto the Phone.. pushing each Other for the Next to LOOK at YOU.. saying It is Mine turn to see.. and cries after the Hanging UP on the Phone and looking at YOU.. LOOKING at your Picture crying of these sorrows in the Hearts.. I would watch the Two Little BABY Teddy bears.. sitting on that Couch.. I know that Heart.. I can feel that Pain in the Heart because that is HOW I feel to when YOU are Gone.. when YOU are far away which leaves me to be more lonely than ever.. just to be with YOU.. just to tell YOU.. but my Words can't say it.. I see the two., saying I MISS YOU.. and I love YOU.. LOOKING at you when the Two looks at YOU through the Face Time.. but I stand still.. it kills me the Most.. it eats me at it inside because I wish that I can be like the two TEDDY BEARS.. your Children who is able to say it and tell It the way it just feels inside but I just cannot.. and I would watch them cry.. I cry with the Two watching on the SIDELINE because.. I want to go over to the Phone.. looking at you on the Face TIME and when I look at you through the PHONE on FACE TIME.. just to tell YOU with my tears in my eyes to say it with Means.. I miss YOU and I love YOU.. why can't you be here so that I don't needs to cry any more and watch the Children to cry along with me.. it burns My Heart into pieces.. it burns because it hurts so much.. this PAIN of loving YOU.. I may become sick.. sick inside because I am Loving you just too much just for too long.. that IS how much I love YOU.. I am looking at your Picture.. just thinking about YOU.. if I am sitting here.. and just missing YOU.. I wonder about the two Little Ones.. the Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. I am looking at the Son.. and I am looking at the Daughter.. Both so adorable and so Cute.. and I want to see YOU.. of course both are in the cribs and they are sleeping.. I just came Out of the room.. and two rooms in this House.. as I am thinking about the Long Day.. I would be hearing crying.. Just crying for Momma.. and I would be showing the two Little Teddy Bears Your Picture.. and I would see the Son.. I would say.. this is Your MOMMA.. do you see her.. which I am speaking about You.. and the Little Son.. He would grab your Picture with both hands.. and Looks at the Picture.. sitting on the Couch.. and I am looking at him.. standing UP.. I would see the two tears.. lines of tears running down the cheeks.. and I am thinking.. what am I suppose to do.. This Little Son is crying for YOU.. and I see the kiss.. kissing the Picture of YOU and saying.. MOMMA.. MOMMA I miss YOU and I am just standing.. am I suppose to call YOU on the Phone.. of course the Little Son is more quiet.. but the Daughter.. has a pink Bow on top of the Head.. wearing Pink shirt.. I know that this Daughter is Hungry.. I remember you calling me on the Phone.. and I would hear the ringing.. so I pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOU on the Other side of the Line.. and I am looking at the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. I would sit Her on the Diner Table.. and she Sits on the chair you brought from your Home.. I would be trying to tell YOU.. why doesn't the Daughter Eat.. I know that she must be hungry.. but I am looking at her.. the Daughter.. sitting on her chair.. and I see the head turns to look at me.. and crying.. I can hear the weeping loud.. asking where is MOMMA.. I miss MOMMA and I would just stand there.. what am I suppose to do.. and I would be walking to the Diner room.. and I would stand by the chair the Daughter is sitting down.. and I would lower myself to look at the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. and I would ask.. Can I face Time YOU.. so that this Daughter can take a Look at you.. she has been crying.. and I would ask if she wanted to eat.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter would tell me No.. I just fed the Little Son.. did Not cry at all when I gave him some bowl of rice.. as I would face time YOU.. and I am looking at you through the Screen.. I really miss YOU.. of course I am not just going to stand here and cry like these two little Ones are.. but I want to see YOU.. if I am missing you a lot.. then I wonder how these two be feeling.. and I would show the Little baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter the Face time.. and I see that She loves to see YOU.. and wiping the tears for her eyes and looking at you.. I hear the voice.. words.. I miss My MOMMA.. Where are YOU.. when are YOU coming Home.. and I can feel my Heart be shaking hear those words.. and I see you on the face time.. YOU are smiling looking at the Daughter.. I hear the words from YOU telling the Daughter.. I love YOU.. and I miss You too.. and My Heart.. my hand touch my chest.. did YOU hear that.. it is my Heart just woke UP to those words.. I am looking at you on Face time.. I wish that those words be said to Me.. I wonder if YOU would ever tell me those words.. I know that YOU love the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. your Little Son and the Daughter.. both staying at my House.. but.. I want you to come soon.. I never thought it be this hard to be missing YOU.. but when I am looking at the two Little Teddy Bears and they are missing YOU.. and watching them both crying.. and Looking for YOU and waiting for YOU.. it breaks my Heart.. especially every Night.. I would watch the Little Baby Teddy Bear the Son.. He would sit on the floor and Looks at the front door.. and Just looks at the door knob.. and just stares for a while.. waiting for YOU.. and finger points at the Door Knob and turns the Head to look at me.. asking me.. MOMMA.. take to My MOMMA.. is MOMMA coming home tonight.. and turns the head to look UP at the Door.. as I would stand behind with few steps behind.. I do not want to go pick him up.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Son.. when I go and share the bad news that YOU are Not coming Home.. I hate to see because when my hands reach and arms hold the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little son.. right when I pick him Up.. He starts to cry.. and Loud and Loud cries I hear.. I hate it because He would Not stop crying.. I don't want to say to HIM.. MOMMA is Not coming home tonight.. and When I do.. the Cry grows louder and louder and screams for MOMMA.. my Heart.. I can feel my Heart be shaking because I want to scream and cry too.. because It breaks my Heart.. after few minutes of crying.. I see that He goes to sleep.. in my arms wrapped around.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear sit still.. and I go into the room.. where the two cribs are.. put into the Crib where he sleeps.. I know that YOU told me about a week YOU are going to stay away.. going on a vacation but I am wondering.. why did YOU not take these two with YOU.. and had to leave them with Me.. Now as I am looking at YOU.. on the Face time on the screen.. I would look at the Daughter smiling.. waving the hand at YOU.. and giggles and wiggles.. and I hear you saying to be a Nice baby girl.. and telling the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter that She needs to eat.. if she is hungry.. to eat.. that I am Not a bad person.. but there to be here for the two.. so I am smiling as the baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter sits on the chair.. and saying Yes to your words.. I have already prepared for the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I have her Bowl with rice and Meat.. I have set it on the table where she is sitting.. and I would take the Phone away from Her.. and I am looking at YOU.. I hear the crying starting after I took the Phone away.. as I am looking at YOU on the screen of this Face Time.. I would hear YOU say to me.. I am suppose to feed Her.. that she loves it when I sit next to her.. and I feed her with the Spoon.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son is more like On his Own but She is different.. like a baby.. and I hear more crying from Her.. and so I would pull the chair.. the chair I sit to eat and I would sit next to her.. and I give the Phone to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I would pick Her up and let her sit on my Lap.. as the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter sits.. I would look at the Bowl of rice.. scooping with the Spoon.. putting a Cow meat on top.. I am looking at the Little Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. she opens her mouth Wide.. and she is looking at YOU on the Phone screen on Face time.. and I see YOU looking at the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Daughter.. and I hear you smile.. and saying.. GOOD JOB.. and I can hear her chewing and eating.. I was truly scared that this One may go starve.. I tried to give her the same Bowl of Rice and the beef meat.. had to cut the meat into smaller pieces.. but would Not eat when I tried.. But now.. I see the main reason why the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear would not take it from a strange person.. I see How delicate this One truly is.. I would see the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. showing YOU her teeth and showing how she is chewing.. as I would scoop another bowl of rice.. putting a smaller pieces of beef meat on the top.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter opening the Mouth wide.. the spoon enters gently into and I see how she is able to take it all in as she starts to chew.. and I pull away the Spoon out of the mouth.. I am looking at the Baby Teddy bear.. the Daughter How much she enjoys looking at YOU through this Phone Screen on the Face time.. and smiles looking at YOU.. after the chewing is done.. I am able to look at you through the Phone of the screen.. I hear YOU telling the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. How much YOU love.. and How much you miss.. and asking about her brother.. so I am able to raise her UP and Put her on the Chair where she sits.. as I take the Phone away.. I start to hear Crying.. I mean is this One going to keep on crying every time I take the Phone away.. But I knew that the Little Son also wanted to see YOU

Is sitting on the floor.. and close to the Door.. looking at the door Knob.. I would put the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter on the Couch and she sits there.. so I would walk where the door is at.. I would put my arms around HIM.. lift him Up.. the Little Son.. his both arms reaches.. hands open for the door and I hear him crying.. waiting for MOMMA.. as I am walking away.. WHY do I have to feel this Crumbling crash from the Inside of my Heart.. I do not want to keep on hearing all these cries.. I would take him to the couch.. and let HIM sit on the couch next to his sister.. as I would stand and I would pull away from the couch.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. he turns to look at the Phone and looks at the Screen.. He looks closer and sees someone.. I hear MOMMA.. Me MOMMA.. and smiles.. both looks at each other and looks at the Screen of the Phone.. at the Face Time.. I would hear.. MOMMA.. I am waiting by the door.. are YOU going to come and take Us.. I miss YOU MOMMA.. I love YOU MOMMA.. as I am looking at the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. both smiles very big looking at YOU on the Phone of the screen on face time.. MOMMA.. I love YOU.. MOMMA.. I want to see YOU.. and I would stand there.. I would watch until the Phone gets hung UP.. and Both starts to feel tired and they would sleep next to each Other.. I am looking at the Room.. the Door where the two Baby Teddy Bears are sleeping.. and I know that They were so glad and happy to see YOU.. as I am sitting in the Diner Room.. I am looking at Your Picture.. It has been a long day but time flies so Fast because busy with the Two baby Little Teddy Bears.. I am just looking at Your Picture.. Just missing YOU.. just hoping YOU would come home sooner.. Not because of the two Baby Teddy Bears.. but Just missing YOU around.. I know that I haven't said this Lately.. But I do Love YOU.. I love YOU just too much.. and I just missing YOU right Now.. please tell me this.. when are YOU coming Home.. so that I can see YOU.. so that I can tell YOU how much I missed YOU and still be missing YOU.. just to tell YOU how much I love YOU too.. that YOU are who I love the Most.. and has never stopped loving YOU.. I am sitting on the Couch.. on my Lap is the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Next to me sitting is the Other baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I am smiling.. looking at the Picture.. and on my Lap.. the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear is looking at YOU.. and I am missing YOU.. asking when YOU are coming.. I want to show you the Two Little Ones.. the children are getting better as the days go by.. I haven't heard them be crying.. and as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I see you holding the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. and YOU are sitting on the couch and next to YOU is the Daughter.. who is smiling sitting next to YOU.. it is the same situation.. My finger touch over your face.. and I hear the Little Son.. asking for Mama.. and I would show the Little Son.. and Show the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. the Picture of YOU and as the Little Son looks at you through the Picture.. and I would say.. yes.. I miss too.. I want to see YOU.. but It seems like it is going to take a little Longer.. I remember few days ago.. a Phone would ring and I answered the Call.. Hearing your Voice on the Other Line.. telling me that YOU are going to stay a little More Longer and will delay the flight.. I could not tell the two.. the Two Little Baby Teddy bears.. I know that if I tell them.. they are going to cry for YOU.. and I do not like it when both children sits and cries for YOU.. do YOU know How much that Hurts me because they are hurting over YOU.. the way I feel about YOU.. so I asked YOU.. if I can keep it a secret and not to tell the Daughter and the Little Son because I know.. you do not know how it breaks my Heart.. when I have to stand still or sit.. watching them cry.. when the One starts to cry.. the Other joins in to cry along side.. and they both be looking at Your Picture.. and turns to LOOK at me.. asking where YOU are.. asking where is MOMMA.. and what am I suppose to say.. I had to watch both looking at the door.. both sits next to each other.. and they are looking at the front door.. and LOOKS at me.. keeps looking at me and I know what they both are saying.. where are YOU.. I have to say.. YOU are going on a long meeting.. I think for a business trip.. MOMMA needs to go to make Money so that YOU can buy good things and I would try to explain what the good things are.. but of course they do not get what I am saying at all.. They are too young to understand or knows these things.. as I would sit on the couch.. putting the Little Son and sits on my Lap.. I would give the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear the Picture.. of course If I give the Little SON a picture of YOU.. I would look at the Daughter who looks at Me.. and wants to have a picture of YOU.. she keeps on looking UP at me which she is sitting next to Me.. I have to have a picture of YOU.. so I asked for three pictures to be sent.. they be fighting over Your Picture which the two would always cry over.. taking my picture away.. I remember calling you on the Phone.. I asked YOU if YOU can bring and sent three pictures.. so NO ONE fights over or cries.. or fusses.. Now.. there has been a great peace and Joy in this House.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I miss YOU.. when I have the two baby teddy bears.. which they are Your Children.. it seems like I miss YOU more and More.. because they came from YOU.. and so Beautiful children.. and I would hear giggles from the Daughter.. she points and shows me YOU.. and I hear the word MOMMA.. and asks me.. where is MOMMA.. and I would look down at the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. and I would tell her.. working.. and the Little SON turns and looks.. and asks me the same question.. and I hear I MISS YOU MOMMA.. and it hurts.. I have to hear these words out of these two children.. why is it that I am hurting more.. I am hurting much more when the Two.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. they would look at your Picture and tells me.. MOMMA.. I miss YOU.. and Keeps on showing the Picture of YOU to me.. and tells me I love YOU.. and I miss MOMMA.. I am sitting on the couch.. they are expressing what I am feeling all of the Time.. I know that I can truly relate but the problem is there is Nothing I can do.. what am I suppose to say when YOU Miss.. and has NO answers to what I am feeling because I know How it is hurting me More.. I feel like for myself.. but when YOU can the children involve.. I feel like I am taking more loads on my Heart.. why can't you come Home.. why cant you come sooner.. the two are always missing YOU.. asking me where are YOU.. and they sit on the floor.. LOOKING at the front Door.. and I know if I try to pick the two UP.. One will cry because.. and I have to hear the other One cry too.. and it can get to YOU sometimes.. I wish I can find a way that NO ONE gets hurt and I just don't have to be hearing more cries.. as I walk out of the room.. I would watch the two Baby Teddy Bears falls asleep.. I had to give the two a Bath.. putting the Bubbles into the bath tub.. the two enjoyed taking a Bath in the bubble.. I had to put them into the Crib because It was the bed Time.. I grab a Book and started to read them and I saw the two baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. they both started to sleep while I was reading a children's book.. as I watch the two sleeping.. I would smile looking at the two children.. they are so Beautiful.. of course they are Your Babies so it makes it more beautiful for me to see.. as I would walk out of the room.. I go into my room and sit on the chair.. with the desk.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and it is the Picture of YOU and the two Baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap.. and the Daughter.. she is sitting on the couch next to YOU.. with a Yellow Bow on top of the Head.. My Heart moves.. LOOKING at this picture.. My Heart screams from the Inside.. and I have bought an Art.. the GIANT SKETCH BOOK.. and I would sit.. wanting to draw the Picture of YOU.. with the two Children.. am I loving YOU more.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture.. with the two children.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. why did you have to come and introduce me to the two.. when ever I look at the two.. I am only seeing YOU more but my Heart just loves YOU more.. when the two sits next with me.. and I watch them smile.. it kills me inside because they make me smile.. my heart lights UP on fire when I see the two.. I am holding the hands of the Little SON.. I try to get him to walk.. but He sits and cries instead.. trying to teach the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Little SON to walk.. I remember I called YOU on the Phone.. and I wanted to face time.. and I saw YOU on the Phone.. with my two hands.. I held the two hands of the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. trying to get two legs to get UP.. and through the Face time YOU saw your SON.. and he falls and starts to cry.. and the Daughter starts to cry with her Brother.. and I had to let you go on the Face time.. and I am sitting on the chair.. looking at the Picture and thinking of these little flashbacks.. and I grab the Pencil.. which it is use to draw.. but I just could not draw.. I know that YOU be coming soon.. when YOU come.. I know the two Little Ones.. the Two Baby Teddy Bears are going to go with you.. that Means.. it is going to break my Heart.. not just going to be missing YOU but also the two Little ones you brought.. I know that I needs to do this.. so I would look at the Picture of YOU.. Looking at the Little SON sitting on top of Your lap and LOOKING at the Daughter who is sitting next to YOU.. OH MY HEART.. these precious Little Ones.. MY Heart.. what are you doing to this Heart of Mine.. why did YOU have to bring them to Me

A children's book and starts to read or they will Not go to sleep.. so I would look at the Phone.. and I would see YOU.. and the two baby Teddy Bears.. they know it is MOMMA on the Other side.. and I would give the Daughter the Phone.. and I see her looking at YOU and with a Big SMILE.. waving hand at YOU.. and I would open the Book.. and I would start to read the sentences.. paragraphs it becomes.. and I can hear YOU on the Phone telling the Two LITTLE ONES.. and the Daughter would hand to the LITTLE SON.. and Looks at YOU.. Looking at MOMMA.. and I can hear YOU on the Other side asking the two Children.. what is the story about and to explain to YOU.. as I would read and Pause.. I hear answers coming out trying to answer the questions.. and I sit still.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both looking at YOU through the Face TIME of the Phone.. trying to tell YOU the answers.. Fussing and bumping into each other.. of course.. after a time.. I would watch the two Letting YOU go on the Other side.. and I would look at the two Little Ones looking at me.. and I would continue to read the Children's Book.. open my mouth loud and clear.. and I would watch the two.. the eyes would get heavy and both sleeps on the Floor.. One at a time.. I would pick UP.. with the Daughter first.. putting Her into her crib and then I would go and pick UP the Little SON.. which I would stand still.. Holding Him in my arms like he is my SON.. and I would slowly put him into his crib.. and turning Off the Light.. I would leave the room.. I am sitting in my room.. just thinking about the day.. I would love to draw the sketch.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. I am truly terrible at it.. I am not sure why I grab me the Art Pencil when I know that I just can't finish it.. but deep in my heart.. I do want to draw YOU.. and looking at the Picture.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. Not just YOU but with the two children on the Picture.. but My Heart just won't let me do it.. because I know it will shatter inside because I love YOU.. My Heart will shatter into pieces because I know that the two will be leaving soon.. of course I wish that the two Little Children can stay more longer.. but the More longer they are with me.. More I feel like it is Hurting me instead.. what if I would say to YOU.. don't let the children leave me.. I would be crazy before Your Eyes and I know that they belong.. they came with YOU and that is why I know they must go with YOU.. My Heart just can't accept that the two Baby Teddy Bears be leaving me soon.. and it is hurting me right Now because I know this.. of course they must go with YOU.. as I sit still in the silent.. I receive a Message from YOU.. and YOU have sent me something.. it is a New Picture of YOU.. and YOU are showing me.. telling me where YOU are.. and as I would look on the Phone to take a look at the New Picture of YOU.. and I know that the Children.. the two Baby Teddy Bears will love this Picture of YOU.. of their MOMMA.. which YOU are smiling in this One.. that YOU are doing so GOOD.. this is what I wanted to see.. what I wanted to hear.. and I hear the phone ringing.. and I picked UP the Phone to hear Your Voice.. and I would tell YOU.. after the face time.. I know that the children.. the two Baby TEDDY BEARS would be arguing and they would fuss at each other because they wanted to give YOU the answers.. and Yes.. I had to let YOU go to get this issue solved.. did I finish reading the children's BOOK.. while I was reading the stories to them.. I saw the eyes.. the Daughter first.. the eyes grew tired and I saw the two eyes would close and She lay on the floor sleeping.. I would keep on reading the Children's book and I would look at the eyes of the Little SON.. which he grew tired too.. both eyes started to close and He lays on the floor sleeping next to his sister.. I would keep on reading for at least 30 more minutes.. as I close the Children's Book.. I would pick UP the Daughter first and Put her in the Crib.. and I would go over to the Little SON and Pick Him up next.. Putting HIM into his crib.. and I stood watching the two sleeping.. holding the Daughter.. the BABY TEDDY BEAR in my arms.. I hear I miss MOMMA.. as I would walk out of the room where the two are sleeping.. I would be thinking of YOU and I go into my room.. sitting on the chair next to the desk.. I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU with the two Little ONES.. BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap and the Daughter sitting next to YOU with the Little Yellow Bow on top of her Head.. I wanted to draw picture of YOU with the two children.. and I kept on looking at Your Picture.. trying to draw I just could Not.. then YOU called Me.. all I wanted to say is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love YOU too.. missing YOU so much hurts me right Now.. so Please come Home soon.. I am trying to draw Picture of YOU.. grabbing the Pencil and Looking at the sketch paper.. the Picture is in front of me as I am sitting by the desk.. as I am smiling looking at the Picture of YOU.. I just can't believe I have your Picture.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Just too beautiful to be true.. and the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. The most Beautiful Baby Boy.. I am trying to concentrate drawing.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. I see the hands trying to grab the Pencil.. losing me to Put the Pencil Down.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. this little Son.. starts to cry.. wanting to hold the Pencil.. I tell this baby Teddy Bear.. I am trying to draw a picture.. why can't You just sit on my lap and just watch me Draw.. I am looking at your Picture.. and I just want to see YOU.. the baby Teddy Bear looks at my eyes and turns to look at the direction I am looking at.. This Little Son looks at your Picture.. and hands wants to grab your Picture.. and tries to get closer to the Picture.. But.. I would pull the Baby Teddy Bear away.. and He looks at me starts to cry.. saying that is MOMMA.. and I just can't believe.. this Baby Teddy Bear knows the Picture is YOU.. knows who his Momma is.. and as I would pull away.. I want to draw.. I tell the Baby Teddy Bear.. Please.. let me draw on the sketch paper.. I hear another Crying on the back.. it is His Sister.. and they are twins.. two Baby Teddy Bears.. One.. the sister is sleeping on the Bed.. the Daughter.. and I can hear a crying and I would turn to look back.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. she has woken UP from sleep.. and Looking for MOMMA.. and I turn around.. as I get up.. the Little Son.. He starts to cry as I am holding.. I turn away from the desk.. holding the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Now I hear both crying.. Both crying for their Momma.. and as I put the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear on the Bed.. next to His sister.. both are crying as I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. I just don't know what to do.. when Both are crying together.. looking for Momma.. and it breaks my Heart because I do also Miss YOU as well.. I want to see YOU.. then I wonder how these two Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. when they belong to YOU and being that part of family.. I am watching both crying and crying.. hands are asking to be Hold.. and I am just standing here.. ALL I wanted to do is to draw picture of YOU.. sitting by the desk.. looking at the picture of YOU.. and just to draw the picture.. to know how much I love YOU.. and I wanted to show YOU and to give it as a gift to YOU.. but it seems like it is Not working at this point.. What am I suppose to Do.. the two baby Teddy bears are crying.. they are looking for MOMMA.. am I suppose to call YOU.. because they will not stop Crying.. I can't even draw picture of YOU any More because.. they are crying.. I can't concentrate with Two babies crying.. as I would look.. I would pick up the Phone.. but when I picked UP the Phone.. it was YOU who was calling.. and I would hear your voice on the Other side.. I smile because I was about to call YOU.. and YOU have read my mind.. asking about How the two baby Teddy Bears be doing.. and YOU can hear the two crying.. the twins.. Baby Girl and baby Boy.. both crying for MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. and I would tell the two.. It is MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see both stops crying and I would give the Phone to the Daughter first.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. hands grab and pulling away from His sister.. wanting to hear the voice of their MOMMA.. and I am just.. my Heart.. My Chest.. My Heart.. How much these two are missing their MOMMA.. wanting to see.. I see both ears.. trying to listen to the Voice of their MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. they are so Beautiful.. both.. the twins.. the Baby Teddy Bears.. both so Cute but so Beautiful.. I would turn around.. and I do remember.. I was sitting down on the chair.. by the desk.. Looking at your Picture.. I would look and say to Your Picture.. when can I see YOU.. will you let me hold YOU.. will you let me love YOU.. I know I can love you the way YOU want to be held and want to be loved.. I know that I can love you in a way you would never felt before.. I can tell YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. How Much I love YOU.. but.. YOU have to give me the permission.. allow me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I would be looking at your Picture.. when will you come around so that I can see YOU.. My hand grabbing unto the Pencil.. looking at a sketch of paper.. My hand starts to trace.. using the pencil to draw.. and I am looking at your picture.. to draw you on this sketch paper.. and right when I was about to go deeper.. I hear a knock on the door.. DOK DOK DOK.. and I am wondering.. who be knocking at the front door at this time of hour.. it is getting late.. and I am thinking.. maybe I am just too tired that I am hearing things.. so I would begin to use my hand to draw.. I hear another Knocking

Their MOMMA.. what am I suppose to do then.. because I have No experiences at all.. and I see you get closer.. trying to hand me over the Little SON.. and as I would hold on with my arms.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son starts to cry.. and I see the Little SON.. arms stretching out to YOU.. because He does not want to come to me.. the Cry gets louder and louder.. and arms stretching out to YOU.. wanting to Go to YOU instead of Me.. and His cry so Loud.. hurting my ears.. and I am not sure.. It is so hard for me to control.. and I would ask YOU to come inside.. I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter starts to cry too.. both being very loud cries.. I just don't know what to do.. why are you leaving them with Me.. they are both crying loud for YOU.. asking to take them with YOU.. My Heart hurts.. it hurts because I know How it feels to be in a pain when YOU leave.. as YOU would try to give me the Other Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. She is even more worst.. YOU had to hold Her close.. and She would sleep in your arms.. Would not even come to me.. kicking and screaming when YOU try to get her close to me.. and what happens when the Other Baby Teddy Bear wakes UP and knows YOU are not in the House.. but has left her with Me.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear will find Out that YOU are gone.. but for now.. she may sleep.. if the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter did not come to me when YOU were here.. I know she is Not going to come to me when I am alone with Her.. I feel so Bad.. My Heart breaks as I would watch the Little SON.. He sees you walking.. the BABY TEDDY Bear starts to crawl after you.. I am watching.. my eyes.. I feel my tears going to pour out.. as I see you walking fast.. going to the front DOOR and the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear crawls crying after you.. as I watch YOU leave the front door.. and the door closes behind.. the Little Son.. baby Teddy Bear sits and cries.. and sits by the door waiting for YOU as He keeps on crying for his MOMMA.. I am standing behind.. just wiping my tears.. It hurts.. this Pain.. it feels like a sharp pain has entered in me.. It hurts watching the Little Son.. hurting.. crying for his Momma.. and turn to look at me crying.. tears hitting the floor.. and turns to look at the door.. what do I do.. tell me.. what am I suppose to do when It hurts me just watching One breaking Heart.. what do I do.. I wanted to go.. Open that front Door and run after YOU.. grab Your Arm and pull and to let YOU see.. LOOK at the Little SON.. look at HIM crying.. why do I have to be the one to watch His tears run down like this.. WHY do you have to break my Heart when I have done nothing to YOU.. why come over and look at the Heart pieces falling apart.. WHY do I have to be the one with the Broken Heart.. it hurts me more than It hurts YOU.. as I would walk.. closer to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. keeps on crying.. pointing to the Door.. wanting to go with YOU.. but.. I know that I can't take this Little ONE to YOU.. and I am just standing here.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do at this Point.. because I can't help this Little Son.. even though I want too.. but.. YOU be telling me you wanted to be time alone.. you just wanted so time off.. to refresh Your Head and that is why YOU are leaving and has made me to be the Baby sitter for the Two Baby Teddy Bears.. I know you have brought all that is needed for them.. so that part I am ready to do what I was told me to do.. but.. I just can't take the pains of the two baby Teddy Bears be crying.. Now.. I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both sitting on the top of the Bed.. with the Phone in their Ears listening to Your Voice.. Both looks at each other and smiles knowing that They are hearing their MOMMA on the Other side.. so I am getting closer.. and I am wondering.. few days.. but when is that the few days end.. so that I can focus on drawing picture of you on the New Sketch Paper Book I just bought from an Art Shop.. I want to draw a picture of YOU and to show YOU when it is all completed.. I be drawing YOU.. for a long time I wanted to draw a picture of YOU.. I know that I am Not good in drawing.. but I do want to try so that I can tell YOU.. I can show YOU this is My Heart.. Not Just My Heart.. but it is My Love.. this is a way I want to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I need a time alone.. I need my own time.. if the two Baby Teddy Bears are here.. I know that I can't draw anything.. so I would get close to the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I am asking if I can have the phone Back.. so that I can talk to YOU.. but it seems like the two Baby Teddy Bears does Not want to give me the Phone.. they want to hear their Momma speak on the Other side.. I see the smiles and giggles together.. it look so beautiful.. how the two are so Beautiful when they smile.. just like their MOMMA.. YOU are the most Beautiful when YOU smile.. as I would watch the Phone being hung UP.. and the two sitting on the Bed.. looking at me.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do now.. they just looks at me.. and both starts to cry.. crying loud wanting to see their MOMMA..I am sitting by the desk.. I am looking at the shot glass.. and grabbed the Bottle of whiskey and poured into the Shot glass.. placing the whiskey down.. picked up the shot glass.. opened my mouth and take a shot.. I am trying to forget YOU.. but I just can't.. I have placed your picture on the top of the desk.. I keep on looking at this picture.. I tell myself I needs to stop.. but I feel like I needs to keep on looking.. I would look at your picture and say.. why are you doing this to me.. why do I have to keep on looking at you.. of course I have a pencil and a clean white sheet of paper.. I want to draw.. looking at your picture.. I want to draw the picture of you.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. but I can feel.. this whiskey starts to kick my head.. I feel light headed and buzzing.. I know I drank so that I can forget you.. but why is it that I am missing you more now.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. as I am looking at your picture.. why can't your picture talk back to me.. I want to hear something from you.. but no matter how many times I am going to tell you looking at your picture.. I will not hear anything from the Other side.. but I want to hear from you.. Please.. tell me something so that I don't feel the light headed I am feeling at this point right now.. YOU know that I love you.. I can tell you many times that I love YOU.. can you tell me something.. can you hear me say the words to YOU.. I love you.. and I grab the pencil.. starts to trace and starts to draw.. of course I am looking at your picture.. as I stopped.. putting the pencil down.. I have drawn a picture of a Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. and I am looking at this pieces of paper.. looking at the Heart.. this is suppose to be your Heart.. so that I can touch it.. as my hand touches the paper.. my hand touch the Heart.. can you feel my hand.. I am touching your Heart.. can you please tell me that you can feel my Hand touching your Hand.. as my eyes would look at the picture.. it is YOUR Heart I drew.. maybe you would tell me that Heart does not look like yours at all.. I told you that I am not an artist who can paint or draw pictures.. but I know that I can try to draw a Heart.. it is only Your Heart I want to draw.. I want to touch your Heart too.. How about me write my Name on this Heart.. and can I take this piece of paper and give it to YOU.. telling you that I have wrote my name so that YOU know that it is me who loves YOU and asking you to remember my Name.. so that you know that I love you.. I belong to YOU only.. so please.. tell me that I can.. as I grab the bottle of whiskey and pour into the shot Glass.. and place the bottle of whiskey on the top of the desk.. I grab the shot glass and open my mouth and take a shot.. I can feel it burning.. it feels like it wants to burn my Heart instead.. why.. I don't know.. you tell me why.. because I want to hear from you saying that I am allowed too.. as I am sitting down.. looking at the piece of paper.. looking at the Heart I drew.. I turn to look at your picture.. and I would hear a Crying.. I am wondering.. who is crying at this time of night.. is it my Heart.. is My Heart crying from the inside.. is it because of the whiskey.. the shot glass.. the shot of this whiskey.. I don't think my Heart would cry because of it.. and I would sit still.. maybe it is this Heart.. the Heart I drew.. which it is suppose to be Your Heart.. so is Your Heart crying.. and I would sit still trying to figure out why I am hearing crying.. and the Cry I am comes behind me.. and I would turn to look back.. and when I turn to look back.. I see a Teddy Bear.. the arms are stretching out.. and keeps on crying.. and I am wondering.. when did this Teddy Bear got here.. it is smaller and wearing a blue shirt.. must be.. and I would stand up from the chair.. and I hear from the Teddy Bear crying.. MOMMA.. and I stop.. I just can't.. I see tears in the eyes of this Baby Teddy Bear.. and He is crying for Momma.. and I am thinking.. why are you asking me for MOMMA.. I am trying to get over and I grab the Picture and I walk to the bed.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on the top of the bed.. and I would sit next to the Baby Teddy Bear and I show the picture.. and I would point.. is this Your MOMMA and the Baby Teddy Bear head goes UP and down telling me that YOU are.. I am wondering.. I am trying to get.. How come now.. and the Baby Teddy Bear wraps the arms around your Picture.. I think you must be a Son.. I am very confused.. so YOU are looking for Momma and the Baby Teddy Bear cries and cries and cries looking for YOU.. and I am sitting down.. what am I suppose to do.. and I start to feel my tears running down.. if you keep on crying.. how about me.. you are going to make me cry with you and I would grab the Picture

MAH MAH.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come

MAH MAH.. Would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am standing.. holding a stick in my hand.. Looking at the Sun rising before my eyes.. I know that I must get ready.. the Other hand pulls Out the Art Sketch paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. I can hear my Heart beating so Fast when I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am getting ready and preparing these Men.. the MEN who came to YOU.. the New recruits.. I had NO idea that YOU would put me on the front Line.. to prepare these Men.. these YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. WHY would you give me this Mission.. why would you give me the Permission to teach and to train these YOUNG MEN.. YOU know that I am Not that GOOD.. but Like HOW you gave me the Order and has commanded me to do so.. There are A lot of Other Generals.. the Superior before Me.. the Aged and well fought.. who are better Instructors and even YOU have the Chief Generals.. even the Great Commanders.. who has lead many victories over many wars they fought.. and I just don't understand why YOU put me in charge and gave me this KIND OF Order to do So.. I am Not even well trained.. did NOT fight many wars or has lead many soldiers to WIN many victories of Wars.. but WHY did YOU put me in Charge.. and I am looking at the Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I am standing.. YOU also gave me few Men.. there are Seven of My Friends who are standing with me and with me they are standing Behind me.. I only came here.. just to be a Palace Guard.. just to guard the back door of the Palace.. Never imagined that I would come this very far.. so Close to YOU.. Only thing I ever wanted to ask of and say to YOU is how much I love YOU.. I only wanted to express deeply my Love for YOU.. never thought that I be here today.. as I am watching the Sun Rise.. before me are the tents.. and very SOON the New Recruits are going to come Out of the tents they are sleeping in and I have to begin the training for the New Big War.. as the Seven Men are behind Me.. I am looking forward.. I see the Men.. the New recruits walking Out their tents.. My tears.. two lines are falling down both eyes.. I just can't believe I have to do this.. But I am not even experienced veteran at war.. I am Not even the general.. Not even the TOP general or the Chief general.. Not even the Commander or the Great Commander.. those MEN has years of many experiences of striking and WINNING in wars.. but why did MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH choose me to do this.. there are great war veterans.. WHAT AM I suppose to teach.. what Words MUST I say.. how can I lead victories for the Next war.. and I would watch all the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits walking Out and they all stood in the Line just waiting.. I don't know what to DO.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY did You give me this Kind of Order.. why did YOU commanded me to train and to teach.. to instruct these YOUNG RECRUT MEN.. what if I fail trying too.. and I would put the arm down holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. the Closest Friend takes the Art Sketch paper in my hand.. and I turn my Head aside.. and I would look.. by the Fence.. I see YOU there.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. sitting on the Horse.. I see YOU with the BIG CROWN on your Head.. standing around are the COMMANDERS.. the Chief Generals.. the Great Commanders of War.. I see the TOP Generals behind YOU and YOU are looking at me.. and I see YOU pulling Out the Sword.. telling me that the training has Begun.. But.. something stops Me.. something stops me to go further.. I don't know what it is because these are YOUR new recruits.. these are Men that came here for YOU.. to Fight for the Next war.. to Fight for the Next Battle Field.. these are the MEN who are going to Die if they are NOT trained right.. who came to protect and to defend YOU.. for the Nation and for YOU to be their QUEEN.. even though YOU are the Crown Princess right Now.. what am I doing right Now.. I would fall down on both Knees.. and I put my arm up forward and I would Lower my Head before YOU.. and I see you pointing the Sword to me.. telling me to speak.. and I lift UP my Head and I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are YOUNG NEW MEN.. New recruits.. they are Unexperienced and has Not trained for years.. do NOT know what it is Like to fight in the Battle fields of War.. How can YOU let me be the trainer or the Instructor.. I know that I might sound so weak.. but it is the Lives that YOU are putting Under.. they have Lives and the Lives are very special and precious.. because of my Wrong.. I don't want to see the YOUNG MEN.. the New recruits to fall by the swords because of the wrong teaching or instructing.. that is why I am begging YOU to let someone else.. like the experienced and the veterans of war.. who lead men to victories to take my Place.. and I would see YOU looking at me.. but The sword.. I see the sword YOU are holding.. YOU lifted it UP higher telling me to GO.. and my Heart.. My Heart starting to beat so fast when I see YOU believe and Your Faith.. the trust YOU have.. telling me to go On.. My Heart.. starting to beat faster when I truly understood that Because I love YOU.. One thing that makes me so different is that I love YOU.. the Love that I have for YOU will never let others to fall because I love YOU.. I love YOU more and more and never stopped Loving YOU.. and I would look at YOU.. the Seven Men behind me.. they all fall on their two knees.. Arms UP forward and Heads all Lower before YOU.. and I see YOU still holding the Sword UP High.. and I know.. it means that Is it.. so I turn my Head.. LOOKING at the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. and I know that these are YOUR MEN.. these are the defenders.. who are going to Protect YOU with Me.. and Yes.. NO ONE is going to stop us from trying Our Best.. I know that if I love YOU.. I will do whatever it takes to make YOUR MEN stronger.. make them more wiser and BE ready to walk into the War.. I Hear more voices and I turn the Other way.. where YOU are at.. I see More New Young Men.. More new recruits wants to join in the Military force.. and I have never seen such a Large Number of gathered.. the Guard at the gate by the Fence Opens and More YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. who has passed the exam all runs Into the join the Camp.. the training ground.. and they stand in the back of the Line.. and I stand there looking at these Unprepared men.. I must.. wiping my tears from my eyes.. I must help them.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. ARM UP and Head lowers.. Your Sword Points to Me again and I would lift up my head and I would say to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. If you are asking why.. I remember I was by the Fence.. DO you not remember.. I was by the Fence waiting for the Chance.. there was a Guard telling me that I could Not come inside.. I had the Letter.. and the Older MAN who was the Instructor.. who was the One to teach me.. after I lost my Father.. I have fallen into great depression.. crying IN the Night.. and Just wanted to Give UP on life.. I remember the Only HOPE was go to YOU.. I walked for many days with out FOOD or Water.. did Not see the Winter and the great blizzard came and swept me away.. at that Moment I thought I was going to die.. I only thought of YOU.. and Kept on walking through the SNOW until I just could not walk any more and fell in the snow.. I wanted to cry.. as I was laying on the snow.. all I could think is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. just to go and to see YOU.. before I die.. at least to tell YOU how much I love YOU and I closed two eyes.. I woke UP and I only called Out to YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. wanting to get close to YOU.. I was meant to die and said.. I am going to die any ways.. better to just die in the SNOW but.. I did Not die.. after waking UP in a Home.. the Older MAN started to teach me.. gave me an instruction and started to teach me the Art of Swordsmanship.. and He final gave me a Letter.. and Placed a Stamp saying I can go to the Camp.. the Guard by the Table told me I can go inside.. Large LINE to wait.. and It took me many days waiting in the Line and when It came to Me.. I was standing by the Fence.. the Guard who was by the gates told me I can't come in.. That day was the last day and I remember I saw YOU.. YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU stood with the Generals.. the TOP.. the CHIEF and the COMMANDERS.. Looking at the New Recruits who were the YOUNG MEN at that TIME.. I remember YOU turn your Head.. and as I was turning away leaving.. I heard you which it stopped me.. MAH MAH.. YOU did Not recognize me who was at the Garden.. but.. YOU stopped me as YOU wanted to see the Letter.. My Heart.. it started to beat again.. this was the Only way.. this was the Only road and I turn around to face YOU

MAH MAH.. Me down because LOOK.. I am still alive and well.. as I saw YOU and walking along side and I stopped and it made you stop and I would say to YOU.. I love YOU MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I love you and I would walk way back in the line with Many New Young Men who were recruits.. as I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I remember still.. even this very day My Heart never changed.. because I still Love YOU.. both hands holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. this One has never been torn.. because I kept it safe.. close to My Heart.. and I would lift UP my Head.. I am LOOKING at YOU.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse.. with the White Dress.. your Sword still pointing direct at Me.. and I would say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I have never stopped Loving YOU because I know that STILL at this Moment.. I still Love YOU and Yes.. I will take orders.. your Commands seriously and help rebuild Your Forces.. make them into warriors who will Fight for YOU.. who will protect YOU and defend this Nation because.. the Day I was rejected was the Day I saw YOU and that DAY was when YOU let me In.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. Crown Princess.. thank YOU for giving me the Chance to be a soldier who can protect and defend YOU and this Nation.. as I grab the stick.. putting the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU on the ground.. I get UP.. and the Seven Men who are behind me.. they are all get UP.. Arms stretch forward and the Heads all lower to YOU.. I would grab the stick.. the Seven MEN stays behind.. and I would walk down by myself.. and I would stand.. as One YOUNG MEN recruit walks Out.. He has the Stick in his Hand.. and I would shout.. to see How well does this YOUNG MAN can fight.. and I would turn to LOOK at HIM.. I would remember.. when I was at the Older Man's House.. In the ROOM.. I would be sitting Alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would be looking at YOU through that.. I would be asking.. I would be saying.. MAH MAH.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I am trying to leave this Place.. I am trying so hard to leave.. so that I can be with YOU.. be close to YOU.. but I feel like I can't.. looking at this Picture.. this drawing picture of YOU.. I keep on missing YOU.. I needs to be with YOU.. and I can hear the DOOR.. it opens behind me.. and the Loud thunder and it is raining Hard out side.. the Older Man.. the teacher.. grabs my Back shirt.. my both hands opens to release the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I let it go.. I feel the Pull from the back and He yanks Me out of the room and I fall Out side.. I just can't believe I am out side sitting as I am getting hit by the rain.. it is pouring down On me because it is raining so Hard.. I stood and sitting.. crying because I am missing YOU.. I want to go where YOU are.. It is aching and Pain in me.. I want to be where YOU at.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. when can I see YOU and be close to YOU.. I needs to go to YOU.. and a stick falls to the ground next to Me.. I felt so Lonely at One Point.. at the Lowest of My Life and It was Only YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. It was Only YOU.. I cried when I saw YOU gone.. I remember watching YOU leave.. Sitting on the Horse.. I kept on calling Out to YOU.. But it was one of the Servants who took Me.. and Told me that I just could Not go.. I was reaching Out both arms.. shouting Out.. as the Horse was leaving.. in the Garden I felt so Alone.. crying in the dark.. I just could Not believe that YOU were gone.. I stood alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I just could Not stop.. But kept calling Out to YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would watch the Moon come UP before Me.. and I would shout with the Loud Voice.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am going to YOU.. very soon I will go to YOU.. when I heard the News.. and MY father died.. and came to the Garden.. I saw His body and with the servants.. We would bury my father.. I just could Not take this kind of Pain any More.. as I sat that night.. My Father was gone.. my Mother died when I was very young.. and even whom I love.. which Is you.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even YOU.. I had to watch YOU leave me.. and Now.. there was NO reason for me to be at the Garden any more.. everything was Gone.. and whoever came to the Garden.. they were all taken away from me.. when I felt the Most lonely in my life.. the Only thing that remained close to my Heart.. It was the Art sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I would unfold and I would take a Look at YOU.. talking to the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I would say.. Is it okay if I go to YOU.. what If YOU do Not want me to be near.. But there is nothing else.. there is NO ONE else I can Love.. but Only YOU I truly Love.. Please.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. would you let me get close to YOU.. I needs to tell YOU something.. packing One bag I would carry in my back.. I would look at the Garden One last time.. and I cried looking at my Father's grave and I would leave.. telling that I am Not going to ever come back.. too many people who I loved are gone before me.. My Heart is broken already.. I don't need my Hear to break again.. so I left the Garden.. wanting to start a new Life.. and I was thinking of the Palace.. Your Kingdom.. wondering if I could enter.. since I knew who YOU were.. maybe I be your servant.. I be your slave then.. so I have set my eyes on Your Kingdom.. I wanted to get close to YOU.. walking through the Day.. I would Not eat.. not much Out in the desert.. so I had to stay hungry for few days.. I would stop for rest at Night.. LOOKING at the stars in the sky.. Looking at the Moon.. and I would unfold the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would Kiss the paper and say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. since I have No other place to Go.. I have made UP my Mind.. that I will come to YOU instead.. so I would take some rest.. thinking of YOU.. missing YOU.. sitting on rocks.. watching the Night passes by.. LOOKING at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. early in the morning.. before the Sun sets.. I would start the Walk.. I have NO other place to go.. but I only wanted to see YOU.. to tell YOU that I would do anything to be close to YOU.. I be a servant.. Your Slave if YOU want me too.. so I started this journey to go to YOU.. did Not think that the winter storm was coming.. and It got so Cold.. I saw the snow flakes falling from the sky and dropping to freezing cold.. I begin to think about Death.. Maybe I won't make it after.. I am suppose to die here instead.. But I want to tell YOU something before I die.. I have to tell YOU one more time.. and I kept on walking through the freezing cold.. I would shiver and I would cry.. is it suppose to end like this.. that I always wanted to go to the Palace.. always dreamed of being close to YOU and to Love YOU.. even though YOU do not have to tell me anything.. I am Not asking YOU to tell me.. until you know in your Heart that YOU do.. if YOU truly love Me.. I believe Dreams will come true.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. If I die right here.. will YOU know that I never stopped believed in love.. I have never stopped believe that One day.. something Can happen.. and the lack of Food and the energy and the coldness of the air.. I just could Not continue to walk further so I fell on the ground.. and ALL I can hear is.. and ALL I wanted to tell YOU is that I love YOU.. that I never gave UP on love.. I truly feel it in my heart.. don't YOU know that I loved YOU and still do.. and I saw my tears ran down as I would close both eyes.. I would hear some noises.. and my two eyes opens.. and I am laying on the ground.. I turn my head too look.. an Older man was sitting.. reading pages of something and looks at Me.. I could Not believe that I did Not die.. But.. I heard.. it is the WILL to Live.. because I know that IN my Heart.. I am truly determined to Love YOU.. My WILL to Live so that I can Love YOU is what I got.. as I would hear.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. PRINCESS.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and even when I was on His back.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. that I needs to go to you.. and too see YOU.. and as I would be healing from the cold.. and the Low of energy cause of the lack of food.. the Older man became my teacher.. telling me that I can't go Now.. that I needed to wait and give some time.. and He was going to teach me the Art of War.. the Art of swordsmanship.. and Saw my Heart.. my Dreams of Loving YOU.. and to be protecting the Nation YOU were going to create.. and I would sit.. and I wanted to tell Him.. why.. and next to me is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I wanted to tell this Older man.. I should just go.. and just go to YOU before it is just too Late.. but One thing that the Master told me is this.. if I truly love YOU.. I will be a Man.. a warrior who can Protect YOU.. Like a real MAN who fights.. and Just like my Dead father.. he was like the second father I really needed.. I would turn.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. But My Heart misses YOU.. what if I can't take this missing away.. I know that I miss YOU so much right Now.. what do I do when my Heart feels like it has been cut with a knife.. and My Heart right Now feels like bleeding to death.. and I wanted to say.. I should of been left to die instead because I knew I was going to die anyways.. but I looked at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would take a Look and would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. YOU do not know

I am looking at the Piano.. as I would walk into the room.. I look at your Picture.. wishing that YOU can see what I just got.. even though YOU may be far from Me.. at least send me Your Heart.. if I can have your Heart.. I will keep Your Heart safe here with Me.. looking at the Empty Glass jar.. I would Place the Empty Glass Jar on the TOP of the Piano.. and I wish that I can Place your Heart inside this Empty Glass Jar.. even though YOU are far.. Knowing and Looking at your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART is close with me.. I pull up the Piano Chair closer to the Piano.. and I would sit on the chair.. only if I can get You here.. will YOU ever come closer to Me.. How do I get you closer to Me.. and I would look at the key bars of the Piano.. But.. I can't play the tune.. I can't even sing with my voice.. just sitting here.. it seems like it be better if I was Not here at the first Place.. But.. I can write YOU a Letter.. I know that I can tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. I can tell YOU with the Words.. with the Lips.. with my voice.. What I truly feel deep inside my Heart.. I put all my time when I grab the Pencil.. when I grab the paper.. and I grab the piece of paper.. I know that for sure I can write and tell you.. How I feel.. How it feels to be me here on the Other side.. as long as the Letter is able to get to YOU.. will you please receive the Letters.. will you please unfold the piece of Paper which be folded when I give it to YOU.. will you please open your Heart.. hear the words of Mine that comes from my Heart.. how much I love YOU.. How much I adore YOU and admire YOU and How much I miss YOU too.. you are wondering.. what is it about the Piano.. why am I bringing UP the word Piano to YOU if I can't sing.. or can't play tunes of the keys of the piano to bring Music alive.. why am I telling YOU or sharing you about the Piano.. because I want YOU to know.. I want to Place Your Heart.. I want to place your Heart on this Empty Glass Jar.. which is on top of the Piano.. so that when I look at Your Heart.. I can learn How to play the Piano.. it make take some time for me to Know How to Play.. but when I look at your Heart.. when I look at your Heart inside the empty glass jar.. I would look at your Heart.. it may inspire me to say I love you in a way YOU never felt before.. I would think of many different ways to tell YOU.. that I love YOU and that I want to say to Your Heart first.. I would like to tell Your Heart first so that YOU can truly trust me with Your Precious Heart.. without any trust.. there is NO way I can love YOU where YOU are able to love me back One day.. that is why I need Your Heart first with Me.. I remember when I was Young.. my Mother wanted me to Learn something new.. and bought a Piano for Me.. I wanted to learn something New.. wanted to tell a story through but when my Mother bought the Piano.. it was just too complicated for me to learn.. I would watch the Teacher come.. and she would play on the Piano.. I wish that I learned at that time because Now.. when I look at you.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and I would say WOW.. I would say YOU are so Beautiful.. I would stand by the Piano and say.. YOU are as beautiful like the Piano because Now.. I want to play and make a Music for YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want to tell YOU MORE.. I want to step Out of the comfort zone and tell YOU what YOU means to me.. when ever I look at you.. through the Picture.. I would regret when I look at the Piano sitting in the Room.. because.. Now I want to play and make music so that I can tell YOU.. even though I may Not be able to sing YOU a SONG.. I would bring a recorder.. and would record my voice.. as my fingers would press on the key bars of the Piano.. I can at least speak to the recorder.. but before I would play on the Piano making Music to come alive.. I would be sitting in my bed room.. taking Out the Piece of paper.. I would write YOU a Letter first.. telling YOU my Heart.. speaking from my Heart.. and writing that comes from My Heart to let YOU know.. the Letter is Not the Only way I can tell YOU my Heart.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. regretting because I did Not learn at that time.. I had the chance to learn when I was young.. but I only watched the teacher play.. looking at her back as she played and making Music.. pressing the Key bars.. to the sound of my ears it tingled because she Played so well.. if I only learned from that teacher.. only if I took the time to be more serious about learning the keys.. composing and writing the music Notes.. the keys.. I wonder what could of happened Now.. if I learned at that time.. which My Mother would say.. It be wise to learn this kind of instrument because when it is gone.. YOU will regret it when TIME passes by.. I would stand by the Piano.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. looking at the key bars.. pressing the key bars.. only sounds but weird sounds will hit.. and I feel so terrible Not because I wish that I learned.. so that I can play for YOU.. so that I can tell YOU.. there is Much more ways to Tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I would even take the Piano out side.. even looking at the MOON in the Night.. when I miss YOU.. when I know that YOU are so Far away and I keep on missing YOU.. at least.. with tears in my eyes of Not able to hold YOU.. unable to be close to YOU and It hurts some nights.. I can play the Piano in the Night.. telling YOU.. looking UP at the MOON.. as my fingers hits the Key bars bringing music.. I would be pulling Out the Letter that is written for YOU and tell YOU a story of How much I love YOU.. if the neighbors would come out telling me about the Noises.. I would turn to that person and say.. DID YOU ever miss someone.. when it hurts.. it just hurts so much when YOU start missing.. I needs to say.. I needs to tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. there are times that it feels so painful.. it hurts.. I see tear drops out of my eyes.. so to take this anger out of My Heart for Missing YOU.. I needs to play YOU a SONG.. this Piano is my friend.. helps me to express what I feel when I am dealing with so Much sorrow in me.. that I love YOU but I miss YOU more.. why.. why do you keep on making me feel this way.. when YOU are so far off.. what am I suppose to do when I miss YOU.. and only thing that I can do is taking out the Picture.. the only thing I can do is pull the Picture out of my pocket.. and LOOK at YOU.. do YOU know How it feels when YOU just can't do nothing.. but only thing I can do is look at you in this Picture.. but I needs to tell YOU that I needs to be with YOU.. I needs to get this Off my Chest.. Off my Heart that I needs to be with YOU.. and it hurts me so much because I am dying right Now without YOU in my life.. and to keep my Anger and this pain.. this suffering away.. if I look at the Piano.. and I am able to pull the Piano chair closer.. and able to play the tunes of the Piano pressing on the key bars.. I know that I can tell YOU what I have written.. pressing the recorder.. as I am in the ROOM.. I would open up my Heart and say.. I miss YOU.. I am not sure why I am missing YOU so much right Now.. and I be asking.. do YOU ever feel the same as I do.. I don't want to hear the answer that is going to KILL me up inside but to ask YOU.. DO YOU miss me the way I do.. I have brought the Piano Out side.. the neighbors are telling me to be quiet and they needs to sleep.. but when I am sitting Out side.. with the Piano and the Chair.. I am able to look UP at the MOON and let the Moon hear my Voice.. asking the MOON.. do YOU hear me tonight.. even though I have the Recorder recording my Voice what I AM saying as the Letter is in front so that I can read it out Loud.. with tears of sorrow.. with My Heart be hurting.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU so much right Now that I need YOU here.. can YOU Hear me.. I am out side.. can YOU hear the Piano Playing.. it is Me who is playing this Piano so that YOU can hear Me.. so that YOU know what I am doing right Now.. I want YOU to hear me.. that is why I have decided to buy another Piano.. a smaller where I can take it out side so that YOU can hear the key bars.. when you hear the sound of the Music coming out of the Piano.. YOU know that It is me.. which I am telling YOU.. I am hurting right Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. where are YOU so that I can tell YOU my Heart.. Please come Out.. come Out and hear this Piano playing.. making the Music to come alive.. only if YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. every time I am sad.. every time I feel this Pain.. every time I want to cry.. when I be missing YOU.. I will be playing the Piano out side.. where if YOU are able to see the MOON on the Other side.. YOU can hear me.. that I am crying right Now.. I am missing YOU right Now.. so you know that it is me on the Other side looking for YOU.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU because YOU are so far away.. where are YOU.. Please tell me so that I know that How you be doing.. tell me so that I can go to YOU like the wind.. as I am standing.. I am looking at the Piano in the room.. I have the letter in my hand and On the Other hand I have your Picture.. thinking of YOU.. and just loving YOU even though I am not sure if I would ever meet YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. can YOU Please tell me that I can see YOU soon.. or do YOU want me to pull the Piano.. the smaller Piano and walk out side.. do YOU want to hear me playing.. when I play on this Piano.. just please remember I am wailing and I am crying on the Other side.. I am in the Room.. Looking out the window.. I see the rain showering down.. I would like to walk in the rain.. but it be nice If I take this Piano with Me.. I have written YOU another Letter.. I wonder if YOU can Hear Me Now.. I know that just standing Out alone.. and Turning to LOOK up.. LOOKING at the Moon and just speaking to the MOON.. that Moon does Not Hear Me

MAH MAH.. Will let YOU know about this journey How I came to be.. YOU know that I love YOU right.. and I would start to write YOU a Letter.. Like a Diary on paper.. and started to share.. putting into a BOX that the Older MAN gave me.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of You.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and every night.. I would go Out.. LOOKING at the MOON.. and I would pull out and unfold the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and I would look at YOU.. I would walk into this One room that was given to me to sleep.. and I would write YOU.. each Night I would write as I would put this Letter into the Box.. knowing that One day.. some day SOON I will see YOU and I am going to give you the Box.. with the FULL of letters.. telling YOU what I been through those days when I felt alone.. when I felt very lonely and just kept on Missing YOU.. I would cry some nights.. that I told myself.. the main reason WHY I left the garden in the first Place is so that I can go to YOU.. and show YOU that I have come long ways just to be close to YOU.. but Now.. I feel like I am stuck here.. what am I suppose to do when I want to go see YOU.. and I would bump heads with the older man who told me to be patient.. to wait.. to wait until.. but I just wanted to go to see YOU.. How Long must I wait.. what if.. I would go out side into the Night.. and Unfold the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. How long must I stay here.. I don't want to stay here for long because I want to go see YOU.. but I can't let go of my Dreams.. I have made a promise that I wanted to be a real MAN for YOU.. a WARRIOR and a Man who holds the sword so that I can fight to Protect Your Nation.. I want to also be Your Fighter who will never backs UP any fights that presses On.. but I am still having this Heart of Mine.. I want to see YOU.. see YOU how much YOU have grown.. I want to tell YOU.. for a Long time.. How I been loving YOU since.. and still I just can't let go of Loving YOU.. what do I do WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. can YOU please tell me what I must do.. because even for loving YOU seems like a fight for my Life.. tell me which way I must turn.. so that I can go.. help me to know.. and I would stand alone.. looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would hear foot steps and goes back into.. when I turn back to Look.. I know that It was the older man.. the Teacher.. the Master who was there.. knowing How much I love YOU.. He told me that I have just too of a BIG dream.. and I told him.. I only live Once and I can only love Once too.. so I am going to love as Much as I can if it means One shot.. it is to Love my crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. as I would take a look.. and I would think about the Box.. and Putting One letter after another into the Box and it would be full of letters I would write to YOU.. telling YOU my Heart.. how each day counted and meant for something because I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to be with YOU.. close to YOU to tell YOU.. I have this One Box.. can I show you this One Box and If you open this One Box.. it be many letters.. I was aching.. in pains I would tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. How much I missed YOU.. and what it felt like because I could not go to YOU Yet.. how delaying and spending more time with this teacher.. How I just did Not want to stay long because it seemed like He wanted me to stay there for a Long time instead.. But finally.. the day comes WHEN HE gives me a paper.. and HE puts HIs name and says that if I can take this Letter.. I am able to go into the opening of the Palace.. I waited for a Long time.. I waited for more than eight years.. that much time has passed by since.. and Now.. the paper is in my hands and I am allowed to go and be a part.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I always wanted to be a part of Your Dreams.. to be a Part of Your Nation which YOU are building.. and to go see YOU.. and a Friend.. close friend of Mine also is coming with Me.. to tell you that I love YOU and that I have never forgotten to tell YOU still I love YOU..I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast

Oink Oink.. Tell me something Please.. Tell me How can I reach your Heart.. Will you let me reach Your Heart.. If the Letters I write.. and the Words I share describing How I feel.. the way I love YOU.. and How I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. I really really needs to Know.. would you please tell me How can I reach your Heart.. YOU know that I have been trying.. I have been siting down.. looking at this desk.. and Pulling out the Clean pieces of papers.. I would put the eraser close to My heart.. just in case I would make a Mistake of telling YOU the wrong.. and I would stop.. I would sit and Pull up the Paper.. and both hands grabbing on the sides of the Paper.. I would read.. standing UP I would read out Loud.. behind me is the wall.. and even if I have to face the wall.. but thinking of YOU.. I would open my mouth wide and say the words Out loud.. as if you are standing there.. I would close both eyes.. and I would see Your Face.. I would see your Beautiful Face.. before I stand UP to turn to LOOK at the wall.. I be on the chair sitting down.. looking at your Picture before I would get UP out of and when I would turn to face the wall.. both eyes would close.. facing the wall and picture of YOU would pop in my Head.. and I would open both eyes.. looking at the paper in front of Me.. I would open my mouth and I would start to read the Paper.. like if YOU are standing on the Other side.. Near me if YOU were here.. and I would keep on reading out loud.. like if YOU can hear Me.. until I am finished reading the whole Paper to YOU.. of course when I put the paper down.. I don't see YOU.. I only see the wall which I am facing.. but I want to know.. when I send the Letter Out to YOU.. when YOU receive the Letter.. Do you read the Letter I write to YOU.. because I want to ask you something.. Tell me How can I reach Your Heart.. only thing that I can do right Now.. in this time of the Night.. I can sit by the desk.. pulling out the Picture of YOU and all I can do is LOOK at the Picture of YOU and in silent think of YOU.. when I look at your Picture.. My Heart is touched.. I am not sure How.. but My Heart is touched by YOU.. when I feel this touch.. I would pull out the clean Piece of Paper.. never been touched.. never been written.. and I would pull it close to me.. I would look at your Picture over and over again.. grabbing the Pencil with the Eraser next to the Paper.. I would write what was touched from My Heart.. YOU are wondering.. YOU can also ask Me.. what is it about YOU that When I take a Look at your Picture.. How is it that My Heart is just touched when I look at YOU.. of course I don't hear YOU telling me anything.. I don't hear YOU.. I don't even see YOU in person.. I don't see your presence.. But.. if YOU want to know.. How is it that My Heart is always touched by YOU.. touched when I look at your Picture.. the three letter words.. it is because I love YOU.. there is NO Other word that I can share to YOU.. only words that I can tell YOU and if YOU want to hear me.. it is because I just love YOU.. I can imagine YOU here even though YOU are so far away.. YOU can be miles and miles away.. but when LOVE is in my Heart and only thing that is involved is LOVE.. I can transfer this Love as far as where YOU are.. as long as YOU know that I love YOU.. I just want YOU to know that Only thing and can give and share is Love.. there is Nothing else I can truly give YOU.. what can I give YOU but just these three letter words.. if you want More.. How am I suppose to give YOU more.. YOU have so much more than Me.. but One thing that I can promise YOU will always be missing is how much I love YOU.. there is NO Other man who can share and tell YOU how much I love YOU more than Me.. I can write to YOU thousands of Letters.. YOU can be across miles.. thousands away.. but some way some How by the Miracle of Love.. I am able to give.. I am able to tell YOU.. I am able to share and write to YOU.. that I can Love YOU more than any Other.. I can keep on telling YOU and keep on writing YOU.. I can share to YOU what is in my Heart and Let this Letter fly over the Moon and into your hands it can sit there.. and just wait for YOU.. for you to read the Letters.. I know that I can love you more.. I know that I can love you better.. I know that I can love you stronger and I can love you more smarter.. because the Only thing that is in my Heart for YOU is to just Love YOU as you are.. If you are asking me why do I love YOU this much.. WHY do I keep on loving YOU.. what happens if I never see YOU and YOU never come to Me.. but all I give and share and just tell YOU that I love YOU.. what if I never see YOU.. if YOU are wondering and asking me this kind of question.. if I never get to see YOU.. YOU will always know that I get to love YOU.. I am not asking YOU that YOU needs to come and see me.. I am not asking you to let us join hands and be together.. YOU have the choice to do what YOU truly please.. But I believe YOU will always wonder.. what If YOU be with Me.. YOU will always be thinking on the Other side.. wondering what If it can happen.. and Makes YOU wonder.. can It be true.. Can it be real.. I am telling YOU that YOU do not have to do anything.. Let me be the Man who loves YOU.. let me be the One who never stops loving YOU.. I am Not asking YOU to love me.. I do not want to put any kind of burden on your shoulders because I have made this Choice to just love YOU.. why.. because I just love YOU.. when did I ever ask YOU that YOU needs to love Me.. I never asked YOU to love me because I know that if I love YOU first.. to make that first Move to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. If My Love for YOU is Strong and It grows stronger each day goes By.. I am sure that One day.. some day YOU will see HOW much I love YOU.. there will be a day where YOU are going to look back and come around.. it can take for months.. even to years but I know that I can wait.. I am truly patient with YOU because I know that I loved YOU first.. I will always love YOU because I never give UP when It comes for LOVE.. YOU have to know that I be typing for 22 years long.. and it is because of Love.. but Now I want to share the Love with YOU.. and I know it will take a Long time.. and I have already made up my Mind to keep on loving YOU.. there will be a day when YOU will realize that I am truly serious of Loving YOU.. I just needs to give YOU some time for it to reach to YOUR HEART.. and as I am looking at the Paper and looking at what is written in the paper.. I would turn around.. grabbing the envelope on the top of the desk and I would fold the Piece of Paper into half and Put inside the envelope.. I can see the day has just left and the Moon has rise above me.. I am taking the fourth Letter.. the envelope in my hand.. I would walk out side.. leaving the front door and I would walk.. LOOKING at the mail Box.. I wish that YOU can read these letters.. of course I do not know if YOU are or Not and I would walk and stop by my mail box.. just waiting for the Truck.. the Mail man to come.. wondering will this Mail man come late again.. I know that few days back He came pretty Late.. about two hours later than the usual time.. and I am looking towards where the Truck would come.. as I am standing still.. next to my mail Box.. I see two lights and I know the sound.. It is the sound of the truck of the Mail Man.. Now.. the Truck stops.. and I am looking at the person who is driving the truck.. But it is Not the man I know who is driving.. it is a New person driving the Truck.. It is a Woman driving the truck.. and I would look.. But looks so much like YOU.. and I know that before I came out of the House.. I was by the desk and I pulled out the Picture to Look at YOU.. I know that it can't be You.. but LOOKS so similar.. and I am not sure if I should Tell.. Now the Mail Man comes from the back and He stands next.. and Looks at me.. I just can't believe it.. this means that It is YOU.. why are you driving this Truck.. and the mail man smiles and tells me.. YOU wanted to see Me.. YOU wanted to meet the person who was writing these letters and wanted to know the Person behind the writings.. and I look at you.. I know that you don't know me well.. but there is So much to tell YOU how I got the Information.. I hope that I am Not a creepy person.. ALL I wanted was to tell YOU what my Heart feels when I saw YOU.. when I saw YOU the first time.. My Heart leaped with Joy.. and Just wanted to express and tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I have the envelope and I gave it to YOU.. I see your hand grabbing it.. and My Heart.. Oh my Heart.. and my hand touches my Chest which it touches my Heart.. Only YOU can melt my Heart like I see a SNOW melting in the Sun.. because I just can't stop Loving YOU.. I just can't believe that YOU have taken YOUR time to come this way.. of course I wanted to go to see YOU.. but I was not sure when.. or if I could.. that is why all I can do is wait for YOU to come to Me.. only HOPE and Dream is when I see YOU come.. but I never asked for YOU TO COME.. but I do truly enjoy your presence.. when I see YOU.. and as I am standing there.. I look down and I lifted UP my Head.. the Mail Man is on the drivers seat.. and I am wondering.. Is there YOU.. because When I looked into the truck.. looking on the ground and lifting up to look at the Truck.. I only see the mail Man.. who is just sitting there waiting for me to give the envelope.. and I would ask that Man.. the Mail Man.. did Not the Woman sitting on that driver's side.. I thought I just saw a Woman driving this Truck.. the Mail man looks at me thinking I am going crazy.. as I would give the Mail Man the envelope.. and He takes it into his Hand and he tells Me.. I am going crazy.. I am going Nuts about YOU.

I am missing you so much right Now.. I went to the table.. I saw the Empty Chair.. still wondering if YOU are coming Home.. but as YOU can see I don't know why YOU are Not still here.. Looking at the Plate.. the Food I made for YOU.. which you did Not come home yet.. and staring at the Chair.. the Chair you would sit.. I would watch YOU across the table when we eat.. many times I would watch YOU smile and then YOU would laugh.. I do really miss those days.. even when YOU came home.. Long day of work.. sometimes when It rain Out side.. and I would hear the DOOR open.. I would walk Out of the kitchen.. preparing and making the Food.. putting the Plate on the table.. just waiting for YOU to come Home.. the smile.. and I would watch YOU sit.. sit on that chair.. as I would just watch YOU eat while I am sitting on my side of the chair.. How come this had to happen.. why are you NOT coming home yet.. I received a message.. also YOU send me a Picture.. a recent picture of YOU.. I would see you sitting On a chair.. Holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and with a Bow on the top of your Head.. I am Not sure where the location or the Place you were at.. but YOU send me a Message with a Picture telling me How you are doing.. and of course.. I would smile looking at this recent picture of YOU and I would ask YOU.. where are YOU.. Please tell me.. if YOU are close by in the area.. can I go to YOU.. and I would be waiting for the Message but a Long pause.. YOU would text message me saying.. YOU are Not in the area and that YOU are far off.. at Least YOU are starting to share and telling me how YOU are doing.. but.. I am still waiting for YOU.. all I can think of is YOU coming Home.. when I would pass by the diner room.. I would look at the table.. and I would LOOK at your chair.. the empty chair that has been sitting there waiting for YOU for a long time Now.. and It is asking Me.. when Are you coming HOME.. when are YOU going to sit on this EMPTY CHAIR.. I would tell the chair.. I am Not sure when because YOU never tell me when YOU are coming Home.. all I can think of is YOU.. just missing YOU every Night.. every Night feels like I am going to die here alone.. without YOU.. I feel like this Chair.. Like this Empty chair.. just sitting here and just waiting for YOU.. and ALL I do is look at the New recent picture YOU gave me.. I would look on the Phone.. and in the front of the phone your Picture.. the recent picture.. the ONE you are sitting on the Chair.. with the Big bow on top of your Head.. arms wrap around the Giant Teddy Bear.. and I want to cry.. because NOW.. I wish that I could be that Giant Teddy Bear.. WHY does that GIANT TEDDY BEAR seems so Happy.. of course it is because YOUR Arms.. How about my arms.. how about ME.. I want to be held by YOU.. feel the JOY and LOVE that Only can comes from YOU.. Only YOU can bring that Big smile ON my face.. NO One else can make me more happier than YOU can.. as I am standing.. I am in the kitchen.. just thinking about.. as I am looking at the Plate.. I made this Food last night for YOU.. I would take a Picture of the Plate with the FOOD that was made and I would send it to YOU.. telling YOU.. it is waiting for YOU.. and I would look at your Chair.. who is also waiting for YOU TO sit on.. and I would sent the Picture of Your Chair and the Plate.. NOW.. I am in the kitchen.. I know that YOU did not come home because I see the FOOD still on the Plate.. as I am putting the FOOD on the trash.. and I would start to wash the dishes with water.. knife and fork.. cups.. and Now my tears.. I can't stop the tears falling from my eyes because it can get this hard on me some times.. I am asking YOU.. but YOU never response.. YOU never tell me that why YOU are not coming Home.. after washing the Plates and the cups.. the knives and forks.. I would use the towel to wipe it dry and Put on the Counter where I would put all these things there.. of course.. I feel so sad.. and many times broken hearted when I would walk Out of the room.. and I stand to see.. going to the diner room.. hoping that YOU came.. hoping that I would see you sit on your Chair.. hoping to see YOU eating and finishing the Food on the plate.. to see YOU turn Your Head to look at me and smile and telling me HOW finally YOU came HOME to me.. when I would walk out of the room and I stand still.. as I look toward the Diner room and I see it be empty.. looking at your Chair.. the empty chair.. and LOOKING at the Plate.. I would see the FOOD still here.. I turn to look towards the door.. I find NO shoes of yours.. my Heart.. it feels like YOU have thrown a hard ball.. a rock and Hit me on the stomach.. I can feel something sharp because my expectation of YOU.. if YOU came HOME.. it hurts to watch.. it hurts to stand here looking at the table.. LOOKING at your Chair.. and I would just want to fall down.. but I just look.. knowing that YOU did not come.. and I would wonder.. I send you the picture.. I took the picture of the plate.. and the FOOD in the plate for YOU to see what I have cooked and made you for this very night.. I can't believe that YOU still do Not want to show UP at all.. How much do I must miss YOU.. what am I suppose to do for YOU to know how much I love YOU and how I am still sorry of what I have done.. I know that I have made just too many bad mistakes.. and yes.. it is all my fault.. but just give me this One more chance.. I think that My Heart is burning.. and it is going to be burned because My Heart just can't stop loving YOU.. every Night.. after I would prepare.. looking through what I should cook or make for YOU.. it takes time for me to Know.. looking through many chef videos.. trying to do something different so that YOU would come Home.. I think I watched over 100 videos of cooking chef.. trying to cook something for YOU.. but.. I feel like how much more can I do.. I look at your chair.. I look at this empty Chair.. should I put your chair in my room instead.. because it drives me crazy when It sits here all alone.. this Empty chair is missing YOU because I know that IN my Heart.. I am the One who misses YOU.. I know that I can think like this empty chair because when I would watch YOU sit.. I was the Most happiest person in the world.. because I was able to express and show YOU something that I loved the Most.. to share and to tell YOU.. to make and create and to cater something that comes beneath my Heart.. I wanted to show YOU that I love YOU.. so I do remember going into the Kitchen classes.. I wanted to be the Best Chef.. just for YOU.. that is what counts.. that is what should counts.. NO ONE should care because as long as I be able to give you something that CAN Only comes from the depth of my Heart.. I wanted to impress you by showing YOU.. I am the Most happiest when I can give you this FOOD.. would you please take a taste.. would you please come and sit at this table and let the Plate I give YOU.. to fill your stomach because each time YOU eat.. it makes me full.. it makes me smile inside because I put all my energy and efforts into so that when it gets to YOU.. MY words would not be enough but the action of giving you this Plate.. this food on the Plate.. I put everything on the table so that when YOU COME to eat.. I can turn the other way and cry with a joy.. NOT sadness anymore.. I started to take classes.. getting new ideas to put food on the Plate and I would start to make it at Home.. I would look at your Empty Chair.. my Heart keeps breaking when I would pass by.. Looking at your chair.. which is an empty chair.. I would stand there.. WHY can't you be here.. why must YOU had to go.. why leave me here with this Chair.. why couldn't you take this chair with YOU.. or at least you could of helped me by removing two eyes.. if I be blinded.. I know with my eyes be missing.. I won't see this Chair.. this empty chair.. I would walk by.. I can feel something sharp in my chest.. just longing for YOU.. but being very busy taking lessons with the top chef.. what I learned and what I cooked in the class.. I would tell the TOP CHEF about YOU.. how much I missed YOU and wanted to create and make.. cook something for YOU every night and He started to show ME these Menus of and I started to learn how to cook as the TOP CHEF helped me to cook.. giving me the Notes and directions with the ingredients to make for that Night.. I would thank because.. I know that One day.. I believe One Night.. Some day YOU are going to be hungry to eat.. and I wanted to prepare for YOU just in case you wanted to stop by.. just for One bite is all it takes and I got so busy at home.. in the kitchen spending hours cooking and making the Dish for YOU.. as I would put One Plate for that One Night with the FOOD I learned from the TOP CHEF.. I put on Your Side of the Table with Your EMPTY chair.. I would go to my side sitting on the chair.. I would eat first.. I would look at across.. LOOKING at your Side.. I am wiping my tears of sorrow.. I wanted to share this with YOU tonight but YOU did Not show Up yet.. I wish that YOU come Home this very night.. It is going to be waiting for YOU all through the Night.. after I am finished eating.. I would get UP.. I would walk to your side of the table.. Looking at your chair.. the Empty chair.. I would lower to take the picture with the Phone.. the Plate with the Food I made for YOU and I would turn to LOOK at your Chair.. the Empty Chair and send it to YOU.. and I would write.. YOUR Chair misses YOU tonight.. I miss YOU tonight.. here is what I made while learning from the TOP CHEF at the kitchen class and I would stand UP.. Looking at your Chair.. LOOKING at the empty chair and I would turn to LOOK at my room and I would walk in closing the DOOR behind me.. As I am in the Kitchen.. just thinking about the many weeks gone by

Making all these dishes I made on the Plate for YOU.. ONLY is YOU.. for YOU to come Home.. and for YOU to sit on this Empty Chair.. this Chair misses you so Much.. I feel like this Chair.. when I pass by Your Chair.. and I stop too look at Your Chair.. I can feel and relate the Pain of missing YOU.. this Pain of ache and longing that It just don't go away because of missing YOU.. and WHEN My hand touches your Chair.. I feel something.. a sharp pain because I feel like this chair.. LIKE an Empty chair.. without YOU.. I feel like I can't go on.. I need you here.. I need to see YOU.. I want to see YOU.. just to tell YOU.. Please sit on this Chair so that IT does not feel so empty like HOW MY HEART feels without YOU.. I need you because I love YOU.. will you please come Home.. Please come back to Me.. I am missing YOU like crazy.. I am just missing you.. and as I turn to LOOK toward the window.. I am starting to see the rain falling.. it just keeps on getting worse as days go by.. without YOU it feels like I can't go ON.. that is why I need YOU.. that is why I needs to tell you that I love YOU.. Please Come HOME and help me to Love YOU again.. I need YOU.. I need to love YOU again and only way is if YOU come home.. where this Chair.. empty chair is waiting.. just like ME.. waiting for YOU To come home.. I am looking at the Chair.. the Empty Chair.. and I just can't take my eyes off.. just wondering when are YOU coming Home.. I been calling you on the Phone.. Do you not here the Phone ringing.. I know that the number is correct because I can hear YOUR voice.. I can here you saying to leave the voice on the message.. I been wondering.. why aren't you picking up the Phone.. you know that this is killing me when YOU do this.. I been thinking a lot lately.. and I even left you a voice message.. telling YOU that I am so sorry.. how many times Must I tell YOU that what I did was wrong.. and I told you that I am so sorry.. will you please give me another chance.. I know that I can do better this time.. of course YOU heard me telling YOU this before.. so what do you want me to do.. So do you want me to stop calling YOU.. I know that I am the one who did fault.. and I even plead and even begged YOU.. I left you a Message on the Phone.. I am still calling you.. because we needs to talk.. YOU needs to tell me something so that I know what Not to do.. so please Pick up the Phone.. as I am dialing Your number.. I am putting my Phone on the ear.. I hear the ringing going through.. as I am standing on the living room.. I walk to the diner room.. standing there.. I see Your Empty chair.. I just can't believe YOU are doing this to Me.. why are YOU hurting me.. I know that it is me who shouted at YOU.. and I was angry.. but.. does it means YOU have to hate me like this.. DO you really Hate Me.. YOU told me that you will Never hate me.. then why are YOU not answering the Phone.. it is getting late.. few days.. Now weeks went by.. I am still here waiting for YOU.. just wondering How you are doing.. Please.. Baby.. Please answer the Phone.. tell me something so that I know.. I can let go.. I can let go of this frustration that is in me.. I know.. I told you already.. I am so sorry.. as I am looking at the empty Chair.. I have set another Plate.. it is by Your Chair.. I would place a cup of water.. with utensils.. with napkin on the side.. I made YOU a steak.. green beans and mash potatoes.. next to the cup of water is another cup of wine.. I have set it.. maybe YOU will come tonight.. Maybe you will stop by later tonight.. but.. just in case you are hungry.. I have placed Your Plate.. Your food on the table by the Chair.. Your Empty Chair.. as I would walk to the front door and I open.. looking outside.. I would walk out with a jacket.. it is pretty cold and I can see the Moon.. as I am walking.. and I stop.. I see the light rain falling from the sky.. I am wondering are you close by.. Can you see the rain.. I know that I am getting hit by the rain.. it does not matter now because I am sick.. My Heart is sick because I am missing YOU.. its been weeks.. and each night.. I would be waiting by the empty Chair.. I would be in the kitchen cooking a meal.. each time I would eat dinner.. I am always looking for YOU.. I would be thinking of YOU.. as I would be sitting down on my side.. I would get back UP.. going back into the kitchen.. I know that I have to bring out another Plate.. I know that you may not come tonight.. maybe Not.. but still.. I am thinking what if YOU would show UP.. what if YOU come.. I would always make a meal for two.. Just in case YOU may show UP later deep in the night.. when I am asleep.. who knows when and I would put Your Plate.. Your dinner on the top of the table.. if I sleep and I don't see you for that day.. at least YOU can come into the night.. late if you want too.. the Meal is ready for YOU.. come and eat if You are hungry.. it has been all prepared and done.. what you love the most.. your favorites I would ask.. and I would watch YOU taking the picture of each plates YOU love and would remind me this is what you like and dislike.. and I would put the picture of the plates YOU love.. in my room.. and from time to time I would take a look at it.. and I would make those meals just for you.. as I am outside in the cold.. with my jacket on.. I am getting wet.. light rain hitting me.. and I would stop.. My Heart hurts Now.. I would go into my room.. and day to day.. I would pull out the picture of the Plate.. each Night I would be in the kitchen.. cooking each of the Meals YOU love.. every night comes.. One Plate.. the Next Night Another Plate YOU love.. your favorite dishes.. and I would sit on my Chair.. waiting for YOU to come Home.. as I would wait.. it becomes late.. and yes.. I would feel so sleepy.. getting UP out of the Chair.. I am looking at the Plate.. and Looking at the Empty Chair.. I can feel my Heart crying inside.. as I would wait for YOU and YOU do not show UP.. I would turn the Other way and walk into the room.. closing the Door behind.. and I lay on the bed.. and I start to cry.. crying a lot because I would miss YOU.. calling YOU on the Phone.. I would sit still just to hear Your Voice.. I would hear the Phone be ringing.. asking myself.. why is it this Hard to love YOU.. why are you making it so Hard for me to get closer.. am I that evil person.. why Hurt me.. I feel only tears in my eyes.. I told YOU that I am so sorry.. I told YOU that I missed YOU and that I love YOU.. but why don't you pick up the Phone.. why don't you even show UP to the House.. YOU don't miss me at all.. YOU know that I miss YOU.. I call you every day.. I only want to listen to Your Voice.. I want to hear YOU.. but only at the end to leave the Message YOU tell me too.. it breaks my Heart when YOU do this to Me.. it breaks my heart when YOU stop caring about me.. it breaks my Heart when YOU don't answer.. I even would leave in the Night.. I have prepared YOU a Meal.. a Dinner I made to eat.. I have already eaten.. If you don't want to see me.. I am Not going to force YOU to come to see me.. But Please.. if YOU get hungry and YOU are near by.. Please stop by.. I am ready to sleep for the night.. so Please come tonight.. by the time you get this message.. when YOU come.. I am sure I am already at bed by then.. if YOU ever feel you want to eat Your Favorite FOOD.. and I would take a picture of the Plate I made for YOU and I would send the picture to YOU so that YOU can see what I have made and prepared for that night.. and I be sitting on my side of the chair.. and I would get UP and I would leave.. going into the room so that If you want to show UP.. YOU can without seeing Me being there.. as I am standing Out side.. feeling the Light rain falling down on me.. I begin to feel My Heart be hurting.. I can feel my Heart be breaking.. I just can't take it any more.. why can't I see YOU any more.. YOU telling me YOU love me.. was all those words nothing but a Lie.. My Words.. when I tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is NO lies.. I am telling YOU because I am saying it from my Heart.. why do you tell me YOU love me.. and when I call YOU on the Phone.. YOU never pick UP to answer.. YOU tell me that YOU love me so much.. LOOK at what YOU are doing to me.. it is because I love YOU.. I been loving YOU for so Long.. I am standing Out here.. it is cold Out here.. I see the rain falling down on me.. and I am waiting for YOU.. but I know that In my heart.. even tonight YOU will Not show UP.. I know that YOU will not show UP but just in case YOU do.. I have faith in love.. I have faith in us because I know that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. I wrote YOU songs.. I would sing YOU songs even though I may not have the voice to sing.. but.. In my heart I can still sing telling YOU that I love YOU.. and How much I love YOU.. showing YOU and sharing to YOU how much I do.. as I am walking back.. I been walking for a while.. just thinking about YOU late in the Night.. as I am can feel the rain hitting me.. and I know that I am going to get sick.. I guess I did it on Purpose so if I do get sick.. and I am laying in the Hospital Bed.. will you come and visit me.. or am I going to be sick alone.. I been walking.. stopping and Looking UP to the Moon.. shouting out to the Moon.. Looking at the stars.. as I am getting Hit by the light rain.. it is so dark and cold Out here.. I want to get sick.. because my Heart is already dying and I am falling apart.. I can feel my Heart just be breaking.. pieces by pieces.. missing YOU.. and pains crashing in and I am hitting the Floor.. How much pain can I endure of this Love.. I am Not sure any more.. but I feel like I am dying inside.. How much I love YOU.. But I know I am crashing and burning because I love YOU.. as I am walking back to the House.. there was NO lights in the House.. and I stop.. there is a Light in the Diner Room.. am I suppose to be shocked

Leaving YOU a message.. taking a picture of the plate with your Favorite meal and I would send it too YOU.. standing and looking at Your side.. I would still see.. YOU did not come.. You did Not show UP even after I would tell YOU I be sleeping.. it breaks my Heart that YOU just don't care.. I would realize.. If I did not shouted at YOU.. then all this would not come.. if I was more patient with YOU and more understanding,, caring and kind to YOU.. I would been seeing YOU sitting ON that Empty Chair.. I would watch YOU holding the Giant Teddy bear.. and YOU be smiling at me.. and YOU be asking me.. what am I cooking tonight.. what Meal.. and I would pull out a picture of the Plate YOU love and show you how about this Meal.. this Plate.. would you like this One for tonight.. and YOU be smiling Big.. and I be smiling back with tears in my eyes.. the joy of being able to give back.. giving you how much I love YOU.. the little things I would miss about YOU.. even just Your smile.. I would tell YOU.. YOU have the most beautiful smile in the world.. the Most prettiest.. Most beautiful smile.. and I would Hold a camera.. looking through the lens.. LOOKING at you and the smile and press the Click the picture of YOU.. why are you so beautiful.. why are YOU so Beautiful to me.. Please tell me why and I would cry looking at YOU because YOU are.. I would be standing by the front door.. thinking about YOU.. your smile.. and as the door opens I walk into the House.. I Just can't believe it.. I am looking at the Empty Chair.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU sitting on the Chair.. I want YOU home.. I want you here next to Me.. sitting on this chair which right Now I don't see you here.. as I am looking at the table.. I want to sit but I can't.. because I know that I am going to miss YOU if I don't see you across the table.. with YOUR beautiful smile.. I just keeps on missing YOU.. Please come Home.. Please come Home to me because I am missing YOU so bad.. will you please come back.. and I walk over.. I am standing by the Chair.. Your Chair.. the empty chair.. I am asking myself.. when will I see you again.. My hand.. holding your picture.. I lift up my hand.. holding Your picture in my hand.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. YOU are sitting on this chair.. the empty chair which right Now I am standing by.. on your lap is the Giant Teddy Bear sitting.. I can't believe YOU are not here.. I still can't believe YOU are Not here.. I been waiting for YOU more than a Month.. where are YOU now.. I been asking for YOU.. even begging YOU to come home.. I am taking pictures on the Phone.. sending you Plates.. your most favorite dishes I would make for dinner.. and Yes.. YOU are receiving the pictures.. because it goes direct to Your Number and yes.. I see that YOU are able to see the Pictures I would take.. looking at the Plates.. the dishes every Night so that I want YOU to come Home.. there are Nights I be waiting.. sitting on my side of the chair.. I am eating alone.. looking across is the empty Chair.. I feel so hurt.. I feel so Bad.. I feel like I have messed UP so bad this time.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do next.. But I need YOU here because I have called you several times.. I would tell YOU with the Voice Message How much I have messed UP and that I am so sorry.. so tell me this.. are you with some one new.. are you with another guy because I truly want to know.. if YOU are leaving me Now for another guy.. please tell me so that I can let YOU go.. I would even write text messages asking you about this many times.. But YOU would Not answer me.. it breaks my Heart because I would call.. Phone number dials.. my ear listening to the ringing on the Phone.. and I am asking Please.. pick UP the phone.. Pretty Please answer so that I can at least hear YOU say that YOU are alright.. But I would call. I would not hear any answers.. and I am speaking to YOU through the Phone asking YOU Please come back to me because it does not matter if YOU are with another guy.. as long as I am still in your Heart.. just please come home.. as I am standing by next to Your Chair.. which is an Empty Chair.. I just want YOU HOME.. I want YOU close to me and I am missing YOU.. why can't you tell me that YOU miss me too.. tell me what is in your Heart so that I know how you are doing.. I am looking at the Chair.. the Empty Chair.. I just want to cry.. I want to just pour out my eyes out.. just pour out my tears because I want to see YOU.. it is so hard not seeing YOU for Month.. I need to see YOU.. at least say that YOU do know my Heart.. as I am looking at the Phone.. I have made another Dinner dish.. a steam fish with veggies and I would look at the camera and I would be looking as I would click and I am looking at the picture of Dish I made for YOU this very night and I would look for YOUR Number and I would send it to YOU.. I would be look at my chair.. I would walk and sit on the chair.. and I would start to eat late into the night.. I would be looking across.. looking at Your chair.. the Empty Chair.. I can feel the Heavy in my Heart.. I would look across looking at the Empty Chair.. the Chair YOU sat when we would eat dinner together.. I would open my mouth and say.. I really miss YOU.. why do you have to be the one to Break my Heart.. shattering my Brains and my thought into pieces.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. you know that by NOW.. I am truly sorry and yes I can feel the suffering and pain in my Heart.. I am in so much ache because I need YOU here.. I am missing YOU so much.. why do you have to do this to me when YOU know that I love YOU.. Please come home.. I am looking at your Picture.. YOU are sitting on the Chair.. smiling with the Giant Teddy Bear sitting on your Lap with the Plate.. as I have the Bottle on the top of the Table.. I also placed the Shot Glass.. I just hate feeling this Pain.. Out side I can hear the wind blowing.. and it is lightly raining out side.. I just came from the Out side waiting for YOU.. wondering if I would stand out there.. I would see YOU coming Home.. still having that ray of Hope that YOU would come Home.. knowing at least YOU are receiving all of the Pictures of the dishes I made each night I send.. asking YOU I made this and that.. if YOU come home.. I would be in my room sleeping.. but YOUR Plate.. dinner is set by the Chair.. on top of the table waiting for YOU.. I would wake up each morning.. Hoping that YOU came late last night and had that dinner.. each Night and every morning I walk out of the room.. I would look at the top of the table.. LOOK at the plate and looking at Your Chair.. the empty Chair.. I be heart broken because Nothing has been touched.. the food still be on that Plate.. never been touched.. and I would grab the Plate.. the Food goes into the trash and my Heart be broken because I am hoping that YOU came because I made it just for YOU.. but each night.. I would make it.. and after I am done eating.. I go into the room to sleep.. expecting you to finish the Plate when I wake UP the new next day.. its been a month now.. and I am still wondering.. are you going to come.. because I am waiting for YOU.. but I know that I have to still make the Favorite dinner dish.. the Plate just in case YOU come home and I don't want to see YOU hungry.. I want to see YOU.. I been missing YOU and My Heart is crying inside me.. I just came from Out side.. that is How my Heart feels inside this Home.. like it wants to rain down.. I am looking across.. sitting on my chair.. but my eyes keeps on looking across.. asking for YOU.. I want YOU close.. I want you in my arms so that I can love YOU.. but all my eyes can see right now is Your Chair.. the Chair is empty.. and I feel empty inside like that chair which is empty because YOU are not here.. But I need you here so that I can say it to you how much I am so sorry.. I want to say it to you so that YOU know my real Heart.. that I am missing YOU.. I want you here.. but Now.. I see that I can't see YOU.. as I open the top of the Bottle.. and I would pour into the shot glass.. and I put the bottle Down.. I raise UP the shot glass.. with liquor inside.. I open my mouth and take a Shot.. I hear something ringing.. and I am not sure if it is the Liquor getting to me.. and I would turn too look at my phone.. I see that someone is calling me.. I raise up the Phone to look. I just can't believe it.. and I am wondering.. it must be the Shot glass playing tricks on me.. it must be my eyes seeing things.. and I would pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOUR voice.. it has been about a Month.. and I have not heard anything from YOU.. and I hear you saying something and only thing I can say is that I am so sorry and that I miss YOU.. YOU know how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU because Now I know what YOU really means to me.. YOU means everything to me.. You always been everything but I just couldn't express it how.. but now I am able to tell YOU.. How much I missed YOU because I am looking across.. I have seen that the Chair has been empty.. its been missing.. missing YOU.. and I would hear YOU.. that YOU wanted to come Home.. and I am telling YOU to come home.. because in this house I am waiting for YOU Only.. I am looking at the Phone.. able to look at the screen.. I see your Beautiful Face.. I just can't believe YOU have finally answered.. but why did it take this long for YOU to tell me How you are doing.. why can't you tell me sooner.. I have brought the Giant Teddy Bear.. I wanted to show YOU something.. and Placed the Giant Teddy Bear on your Chair.. able to switch it where YOU are able to see it as I am showing you How much this Giant Teddy Bear been missing YOU.. I am sure more than Me.. usually YOU would sleep with this Giant Teddy Bear and I know without Your Presence.. it does Not feel the same

Looking at the Empty Chair.. I am always looking at the past memories.. YOU be laughing.. telling me too salty.. or too dry.. some times a meat ball flies and hits my face and YOU smile.. just these little things.. I would be laughing too because I am at the most happiest when YOU are smiling.. able to smile back.. grab a meat ball and throw back at YOU.. of course I would of missed YOU.. I just can't help it any more.. I was really thinking maybe it should be the last Dinner plate I should make because may be YOU are Not going to ever come Home and just forget me for good.. as I am looking at YOU through my Phone Screen.. I have missed YOU so much.. I would grab the Shot Glass.. filled with the whiskey and Open my mouth to take another Shot.. I know that My Head is about to fall off.. I can see everything circling around Me.. I know that I can't stand UP straight.. and I know that when I wake UP the next morning.. My Head is going to kill me.. rather this is a dream or Not.. I am smiling looking at YOU through the screen of my Phone.. My Heart been aching for a Long time.. just missing YOU.. why I keep on missing YOU.. I now know how much I love YOU.. because of looking across is the Empty Chair.. the Chair YOU sat.. I am looking across.. the Giant Teddy Bear is sitting there who is waiting for YOU to come back to Her.. all I can say is that I am so Sorry.. and that I love YOU.. as the Phone shuts off.. I would put my head on top of the table and I would sleep.. My Heart hurts.. Now that MOON has become My friend and times like this.. this pain and aching in my Heart.. when I feel like I want to die from the Inside.. and How much I missed YOU.. I just had to tell that MOON like a friend.. How much I missed YOU.. Yes.. I made Dinner for few days straight.. and for those past few days.. YOU have not shown UP.. I only saw the Chair.. Your Chair which has been empty.. I would sat the Plate with the Food on the side Of Your table.. but ALL I can see is Your Chair is empty.. I would just look across.. I wanted to reach Out my hand.. I wanted to touch YOU.. but How can I when I see the Chair.. I don't see YOU but only the Empty Chair.. I wanted to call Out your name.. But what can that do.. YOU would not hear me anyways because the Chair YOU sat when we ate together.. It was empty.. I would to say Your name.. call Out and reach to touch YOU.. my arms wanted to hold YOU still.. wrap around YOU but all I see is the Empty Chair.. I see the Food and Your Plate but I don't see YOU.. do you know how it feels to be sitting on the other side of the Chair.. I have my Plate and food.. and try to sit there alone.. eating by myself and all I could do is look across.. I see the Empty Chair.. I would have your Picture.. Put it on the TOP of the table and I would LOOK at it.. I would LOOK at YOU through this Picture.. it is not the same as I am looking at YOU right Now Face to face.. it does not feel right.. I would be asking Your Picture.. DO you even Love me.. if YOU love me why Hurt me like this.. if YOU Know how much I love YOU.. why keep on hurting me like this.. YOU know that I love YOU.. if YOU know that I love you a lot.. it is Not fair to hurt me in a way I should feel like this.. WHY hurt me knowing I love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU right Now.. do YOU love Me.. if YOU love me.. Please don't hurt me because I am not here to be hurt BY you.. I also need to be loved as much as YOU do.. as I am looking at YOU.. YOU know that my Heart felt like burning.. and it would shattered into pieces.. because I love YOU.. as I look at YOU.. YOU still looks so beautiful.. is.. I even took a picture of YOU sitting with that Huge Bear.. I am over here just missing YOU.. WHY did you have to do this to me when YOU don't love me.. I told you that I love YOU.. I told you my heart and my soul.. that I wanted you to be the one who join in forever with me.. As I sat there on the Chair.. looking at the Watch.. Looking at the clock on the wall.. as it was getting late into the Night.. I get Up from the Chair.. my tears just flowing down.. I would walk out of the front door.. as I stand late into the Night.. I am looking at the Moon.. I am wondering.. WHAT DO I must do to earn YOUR LOVE.. Help me to understand.. If I love YOU.. and I am asking you to stay with Me.. why is it so hard for YOU to know that My Heart and what I say is true.. I am Not lying to YOU at all.. I am only expressing of How Much I love YOU.. why don't you trust My Heart.. WHY don't you know that It is me who Loves YOU the most.. I know that I can love you more.. I can love you where you know I can.. as I am looking at that Moon.. I want YOU to be close.. I want to tell YOU that it is Me who YOU need.. it is me who loves YOU the best.. all you got is to trust me in this.. YOU do not know how long of a flight I had to fly.. the years of coming.. Now.. I am here.. please.. just give me Your Hand.. and I will show YOU HOW MUCH I love YOU.. as long as YOU can trust me and understand.. when YOU give me Your Hand.. once I hold the grip of your Hand.. I will never let Your Hand to go because I love YOU.. and as I turn to walk into the House and I come over to sit on the Chair.. I looked UP.. wiping my Tears.. I see YOU.. I see you sitting there on the Chair.. Holding the Huge Bear.. with red ribbon.. smiling.. WHY are you doing this to Me.. One minute YOU are gone.. Next minute I see YOU.. then YOU are gone.. I cry and Now.. I see you again.. as I sat there.. Putting down the Camera.. I see YOU.. I smile.. even though YOU are NOT THERE.. YOU Live in My Heart.. even though YOU may be so Far.. I see the Chair empty.. but also.. I can close my both eyes.. when I open and LOOK.. I see you sitting on that Chair.. it is because I love YOU.. NO matter How far YOU are.. IN MY HEART.. I know YOU live in.. all I do is say.. I see YOU.. I love YOU.. I am looking at the Empty Chair.. it is Your Chair.. the chair YOU sat down when we would eat together.. I did not know why YOU left.. I am so sorry for letting YOU down.. but I saw YOU angry at Me.. I know that I am Not perfect.. I make a lot of Mistakes.. of course I do because I am also imperfect Human Being.. But there are times I know I just can't say the right Words to YOU.. making YOU angry and frustrated with situations I am not use to with.. When YOU get mad.. or Angry.. I see the Great storms coming.. it hits my Heart like a Hurricane.. and it blows me to the Floor.. But.. I want the best for Us.. I want us to win in this Life.. YOU know How hard and tough Life can be.. it is Not easy for Me.. But YOU know that NO matter the wrong words I would say to YOU.. I know I should Not say.. which It makes YOU to storm Off the room.. it is because I know that I am Not perfect.. But.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have Never stopped Loving YOU.. it only grows with Time because I know YOU are the One for Me.. and YOU are wondering.. WHY do I choose the wrong Words to say and tell YOU.. because also I go through a lot myself.. I deal with such Hardship.. sometimes It is Not easy to say when I feel unappreciated.. I get hurt Too.. I feel Hurt inside as much as YOU do.. and Yes.. I do regret when YOU walk off the room.. Leaving me just standing here.. I can't explain it sometimes but.. I know that deep inside my Heart.. I do truly love YOU.. I am so sorry for Hurting YOU.. I am so sorry that YOU got Up and left because I could Not say the right words but has chosen to say the wrong words to Hurt YOU.. Now.. I am here all alone.. I been looking at the Clock.. only thing I see is the Clock ticking.. and I am just waiting for YOU to come back Home.. Now I feel so Lost.. I feel so Hurt.. I feel like I know I have wronged YOU but it is because I wanted to say I love YOU.. YOU are wondering.. If I love YOU.. why choose words to say what Hurts YOU the most right.. WHY choose those makes YOU angry and bring frustrations right.. It is because I know I can't make it right.. because I know it is my fault.. I am the One who made the mistake.. so sometimes I would try to say something so that YOU would not respond in a defense.. I know that when YOU fire back.. it hurts Me.. It makes me want to cry but In front of YOU.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. I have already shown YOU enough tears but wants to show YOU smile.. bring a smile to your face.. that is why.. I am waiting for YOU.. I even left a message.. I am not sure if YOU got the Message because I am thinking.. right Now is Not the time.. YOU are truly angry at me.. but.. why did YOU leave without saying a Word to me.. when are YOU coming back.. How far are YOU going.. Are you going to be leaving Me behind.. Am I suppose to wait for YOU.. did YOU go out for some fresh of air.. I am over here.. only wondering where YOU are.. wondering if YOU went Out for a walk.. so Am I suppose to wait for YOU.. I am sitting on the chair on the Other side.. the Chair I been sitting when we would eat together.. But.. it seems like it has been awhile.. I would turn a side to look at the Clock.. the Time has been dragging.. sitting here and just waiting.. the Time seems like it is going by so Slow.. and looking across.. I see the Chair.. Your Chair which YOU sat down

Across.. only thing I see is the Chair.. the Chair is empty.. I don't see YOU across this table.. I am thinking.. is this a Dream.. or is this really happening to me.. WHY is it has to end this way.. why tell me that YOU love me and Now.. YOU are Gone with the Wind.. I can't help myself but my eyes are looking at this Chair.. Your chair YOU sat.. I would watch YOU smile as you would eat.. we would talk about the day.. the day YOU would spend time at work.. about Your co workers.. But Now.. I only see the Empty Chair.. and it feels so different because of YOU are Not sitting in it.. I cannot go to that kitchen.. because ALL I see is You.. How you love to make food.. brings such a true joy and blessings in my stomach.. every food YOU make.. it tastes so good and really touches my soul.. and I just cannot forget when YOU tell me.. How do I like it or Not.. I would say.. I love it because.. I know that I am eating from Your hands.. your hands which would be busy making.. Your Heart which YOU put in so much.. of how tasty you wanted to make.. my hand would touch my chest knowing that YOU have touched my Heart.. and I would be smiling as I watch YOU sit on that Chair.. I would look at Your eyes and would say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. delicate flower.. The Most beautiful delicate flower I ever saw.. So beautiful.. Not because of the food.. because It is only being YOU.. Now.. all I see is YOU.. but I don't see YOU anywhere Now.. I have been sitting on this Chair.. on this same spot for few hours.. but I here nothing from YOU.. I would send a Message.. There is No word Back.. I would also call YOU on the Phone.. YOU would not pick Up on the Other side.. just leaving me wondering.. is it that Bad what I have said to YOU.. is it because YOU never loved me from the first Place.. I know you left few times.. But.. YOU would tell me YOU are going out for a walk and needed some fresh of air.. YOU needed your Own time and space and wanted to spend alone.. of course I would agree with YOU and let you have Your Time and space.. to think about what I have done.. but this Time.. it feels so different.. YOU would send Word and would reply back.. and also you would answer the call and Let me speak and YOU would speak back.. I would say I am so Sorry.. I would lead out my apology.. Now.. I feel like this has to be something I really done something bad.. because NO words.. No replies.. I am looking at Your Picture.. Not sure why I keep on looking at It.. of course.. Now Matter how much I would take a Look at your Picture.. I just wish that I am able to speak to YOU.. if the Picture can speak back and tell me what is in your Heart.. what is IN your thoughts.. for a long time.. I wanted to hear what YOU have to say.. as I would look at your Picture.. But what good is it when YOU just had to hold back but only showing tears in the eyes.. it is hard when you just can't say a word and just hold back.. Kills you from the inside.. SO I had to close my eyes.. counting the stars for the chance to come.. asking the Moon.. How long does it take.. How long must I had back the years showing tears to YOU.. so.. if you look at my shoes.. it is not easy of waiting and waiting for the TIME to come.. it is hard but.. I am looking at Your Heart.. I just could not believe.. I see Your Picture too.. looking at YOU and looking at Your Big Heart is like a Dreams come true.. but in reality.. I know that I am not dreaming any more.. Now.. I know that I want to say some much to This Heart of Yours.. what is holding YOUR HEART back of receiving.. I want to give.. I just want to pour out and give YOU all of my Heart and my Love to YOU.. and to tell Your Heart.. I have been waiting for this very day.. that is why I am Not going to hold anything back.. I want to tell Your Heart.. How much I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. then I loved YOU.. Now.. I love YOU.. still I love YOU.. and More I love you every day.. it is Not going to stop me to keep on loving YOU more every day.. because I have been waiting for YOU.. for Your Big Heart.. for this Heart.. I miss YOU and I love YOU still.. because YOU are my everything.. my forever and ever love in my Heart.. I waited.. Now.. I know I can love you more because I love you.. I am standing Outside.. I just could Not stay Inside because I started to Miss YOU.. sitting on the Chair.. I am looking across and I still see the Empty Chair.. I am waiting for YOU.. looking at the two Plates.. after making Dinner for us.. I just could not stay inside any longer.. I want you Close.. I want YOU near.. I walked Out the Door.. and I am staring out.. Looking at the Moon.. I am asking myself.. Where are YOU.. WHY don't you want to Come home.. is it because what I said to YOU.. but YOU know that sometimes I would say things I should not say.. but also YOU would tell me things that WOULD hurt me as well.. I am waiting for YOU.. Please Come HOME.. I think the Food on the Plate is getting cold.. I have waited and waited.. Looking at the watch.. Looking at the clock.. I see that YOU are Not here yet.. It is pretty cold Outside.. pretty Chilly this very day and I am still waiting for YOU.. WHY don't you want to come Home.. YOU know How much I love YOU.. Please Come Home.. as I am standing there.. I have your picture in my hand.. and I take a LOOK at your Picture.. What have I done.. WHAT did I say those words to YOU.. I am so sorry.. Please forgive me.. because I am Now sorry for the Words I say to YOU.. DID NOT mean to say it in a way to cause YOU to cry.. I know that the damage is already Done but.. I am hurt too.. YOU know that I am not feeling right.. so Please.. Pretty Please come Home to me.. and tell me.. tell me that YOU are coming Home.. as I stand here IN the Night.. it is getting colder outside.. can feel the blowing of the Wind.. as I stand there.. I look UP to the Moon.. and I just can't take this Pain any more.. I can't take this ache in my Heart.. because I am missing YOU.. YOU know that I have not seen you all day.. did not even see YOU last Night or before that Night.. it has been few days that it went By.. and Yes.. I called YOU on the Phone.. but I see that YOU just don't want to talk to me.. I can hear the ringing on the other side.. but.. I only can leave a Voice message.. I am wondering now.. DID YOU get my Message.. I told YOU on the Phone.. left YOU a Message that I am so Sorry.. that I am not going to do that again.. and Now.. days passes by.. still No answer.. YOU have Not left me any messages.. I am wondering about YOU.. I am missing YOU.. and it drives me crazy because I am not sure what is going through Your Mind and heart.. Please tell me.. so that I don't have to worry about YOU.. I am Looking UP at the Moon.. Can you Hear me.. even though I called Your Phone.. even today this Morning I left a message on Your Phone.. did YOU get the message.. did YOU hear my Voice on the other side.. and yes.. every Night.. for the past few days.. I would clean UP the food ON your Plate and make a New Dinner.. Just in case YOU show up this Very day.. Do you know what Hurts me the Most.. that I would have to get UP from the Chair.. and I have to look across and I see Your Chair.. that chair has been empty for few days Now.. I would sit by myself.. I ache in my Heart as I am eating alone.. just for one meal.. I wanted to take my time to share with YOU.. and I would be looking across.. as Your Picture is laying next to the Plate.. I would take a Look at the Picture of YOU and I would touch my Chest.. telling Your Picture.. while looking.. I would stop eating and say TO your Picture.. How sorry I am and that I love YOU.. you would Not answer me and it hurts because I am missing YOU not wondering what YOU are doing.. I be eating.. Looking across.. Looking at Your Chair.. the empty Chair.. how YOU sat down and we would look at each other.. smile and eat.. just for that One night.. for that Dinner.. I would cook so that YOU know this is what I can give YOU to tell YOU.. I may not be able to give YOU much.. but.. I want to give YOU something from my Heart.. it is a meal for two of us.. But Now.. I sit there alone.. and I hear nothing.. so quiet.. and just silence in that ROOM.. I would get UP after I finish eating alone.. my Plate would be done.. as I walk across.. I would grab Your Plate.. still has Food on the table.. and I would go into the kitchen.. and it goes into the trash.. I would stand and I would wash the Plates and put back into the cabinet.. as I turn around.. I would look at Your Chair.. the empty Chair where YOU sat once.. and Now I am just missing Your presence.. and I would ask looking at Your Empty Chair.. where are YOU.. DO you know that I am missing YOU.. I just can't believe YOU are gone and has not come home yet.. what If YOU never come Home.. what is going to happen to this Chair.. I don't want this Chair to sit here because of Knowing the memories of YOU.. I just can't take it any more.. I just can't see this Chair.. I can't because I am hurting too.. aching and wishing that YOU can come back.. WHY do you have to leave and Not tell me where YOU are going to go