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@dimitridouchin 12 күн бұрын
Worried about how bad your pornography problem is? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@HawaiiSki Ай бұрын
Sounds like a great method. I tried to quit porn cold turkey many times and it never worked before. But I was in unhappy and (mostly) sexless marriage and porn was my only escape from it. When I left my wife I quit porn cold turkey and I have been porn free for almost two years now.
@dimitridouchin Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing HawaiiSki. Sexual repression and frustration (like in your past relationship) are the main driver to watch pornography, so that those sexual needs can be met. Once we are free to express our sexual self, the desire to watch pornography subsides.
@dimitridouchin Ай бұрын
Worried about how bad your pornography problem is? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@HawaiiSki 2 ай бұрын
I really liked the video. I liked how you you said that pornography is a symptom and that you have to tackle the root cause of you watching pornography and not the symptom. I struggled for years trying to quit pornography. Quitting pornography cold turkey didn’t work because I was repressing my already repressed sexuality. Then I realized that root cause of me escaping into pornography was sexless and unhappy marriage. I actually was able to quit pornography cold turkey after I left my wife. I have been porn free for almost two years. I have a very sexual partner and I have absolutely no need to go back to pornography. My question is how long after quitting pornography men have problem with getting an erection?
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for your kind words HawaiiSki, and thank you for sharing your personal experience, glad to see it's in agreement with what I'm sharing here. I will make a video about erectile dysfunction soon. To answer your question is difficult as it may depend on your circumstances. Long story short, from the context you give me if I assume that you are suffering from PIED (Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction) and not physical / psysiological ED nor psychogenic ED, it unfortunately takes a few months to a few years depending on cases. Here again, ED is a generally a symptom of a root cause. There could have been a fixation in pornography that is not manifested in real life (fetish, paraphilia) that is necessary for erections to happen. Otherwise it is simply the safety and high stimulation of pornography that is not found in real life - even if you paradoxically have a great time and much love for your existing partner. Over months the attachment to previous sexual stimulation from pornography will fade away and the mind will find excitement from standard sexual stimulations within the relationship, enough to pass the threshold of sexual desire that can lead to an erection. It would probably be easier to have a session together so we can discuss the specific aspects of your situation.
@HawaiiSki 2 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchin thank you so much for your answer. How do I book a session with you?
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
@HawaiiSki you can book an Introduction Call with me here: calendly.com/unhooked-therapy/introduction-call
@louisjwiese5515 2 ай бұрын
Marriage kills the desire. Just get married
@everyoneroasted 2 ай бұрын
Interesting take, are you an Athiest? or do you believe in god?
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
Hi, yes I am something between an agnostic and an atheist. Long story short you can consider me an atheist
@everyoneroasted 2 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchin that's good to hear, because i don't trust psychologists with a religious background, not all of them but most of them bend and twist the truth so it can fit with their beliefs, there are plenty youtubers like that and it's refreshing to hear new perspectives
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
I hope this video was helpful. Are you worried about how bad your pornography problem is? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@vladmihai306 2 ай бұрын
i call this BS tbh... there are hundreds of thousands of monks in monasteries that DO NOT FAP, first of all because it's a sin. And...they live happily, don't develop any health issue, are not aggressive, etc, etc masturbating, just like any other addiction is a result of some other psychological issue, not the issue itself. so people that have a phychological issue are the majority of the ones that fap and obviously, when they try to stop it becomes a big issue since their primary psychological condition gets even worse. But that's in the start, because if you understand the dynamics of your body and work on your psychological issue, then no fap ain't an issue at all. it's an issue these days because everything i mean everything is sexualized. TV, ads and especially women are dressing very very provocatively. So how can you have peace of mind in a place where you are constantly bombarded with exciting images and you cannot have that? well, for a man that does not have a phychological issue, it's not that hard. because sane man don't get obssesed with women and their curves. it's ok, we see the sexyness, nice and all, but we can move on. and so, i think we are going to wrong paths here and discussing about effects and not root causes, which are sexualized and promiscous world, psychological issues like bad parents or molesting, etc, etc. any sane man with a sane family background can stay for as long as he wants and not fap, especially if he is in a sane place without sexualized stuff but then again, every man is meant to become a father, if he wishes for, so he shall have a women which he should marry and so this physical needs are satisfied in a natural and beautiful way, by showing love to your wife, having kids, etc, etc.
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
Hi, I'm not sure if we agree or disagree? Like you I think that addiction comes from a dysfunction within the psyche (past traumas and unconscious emotional wounds), and that working on the symptom (the behaviour - here masturbation or pornography) may be insufficient so long as the root cause of the behaviour (the dysfunction) is not healed. Here I talk about NoFap in the context of trying to overcome pornography addiction.
@vladmihai306 2 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchin ok, then we agree, my bad
@avidrationalist7281 2 ай бұрын
It seems that you don't have any Idea about the root cause of Fap, PMO, because your video is discouraging people who decided to stop porn, Fap etc, if they don't know the root cause of it. Remember, it is not very essential to know the root cause, as long as you can control the symptoms, in this case, which are more of psychological in nature. In psychology, by changing physical habits, you can change your psychology, and on the other hand, by changing psychology, one can change his physical behaviours.
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
Hi, I want to encourage everybody who is willing to quit pornography. The NoFap methods focuses only on behaviour. Like you say there is a feedback between behaviour and psychology. I believe this effect is not very powerful, nothing compared to healing the root cause. I understand your confusion in that I have not yet published any video about healing the root cause. This is coming soon. Try NoFap if you want , if it fails after 6-12 months, try something else, for example this channel.
@paulmusyk4lyfe51 2 ай бұрын
Dude he wasn’t saying don’t do it, 1:04
@jasomon2115 2 ай бұрын
@@paulmusyk4lyfe51 it sure sounded like he was, actually. Like as if guys on nofap brag about being on day 358. I don't compare myself to other nofappers. We're all in this together in a world of serial fappers.
@Vagarywolf 3 ай бұрын
Thank you doc🙌
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
It's my pleasure :)
@editing4crispy 3 ай бұрын
hi
@dimitridouchin 2 ай бұрын
Hello!
@editing4crispy 3 ай бұрын
well you earned a subscriber. message is good but editing is not bad but basic, and rally could be batter. you need a video editor?
@dimitridouchin 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for the kind words @editing4crispy, my video edition needs are being covered 👍
@Rairai-j7m 3 ай бұрын
We're just fantazing but we are not weak. It depends on how you control yourself.
@joestewart2298 4 ай бұрын
Some advice dimitri for pleasuring myself without the use of a female, good ways
@dimitridouchin 3 ай бұрын
Hi Joe, ways of pleasuring the self is a little bit beyond the topic of this channel here, however it is a great exploration that you can undertake! I would advice that you focus on touch and body sensations that are not harmful to your body and of course given your focus to keep away from any virtual stimulation. Using your imagination with sexual fantasies can also help connect arousing sexual imagery with physical sensations. Have fun (but stay safe)!
@joestewart2298 4 ай бұрын
Im still healing from Erectile Dysfunction because of it, I’ve been sober of it for a couple of weeks, just stress in general, by the way dimitri, pornhub has been blocked, which is great and pornpics to which is great.
@dimitridouchin 3 ай бұрын
Hi Joe, congratulations on being sober for a few weeks and on focusing on healing the PIED (Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction) you're suffering from. Anything that helps to keep you away from harmful behaviours with pornography is great!
@dimitridouchin 4 ай бұрын
I hope this video was helpful. Are you worried about how bad your pornography problem is? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@dimitridouchin 4 ай бұрын
Worried that your pornography problem is bad? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@dimitridouchin 4 ай бұрын
Worried that your pornography problem is bad? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@dimitridouchin 4 ай бұрын
Worried that your pornography problem is bad? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@dimitridouchin 4 ай бұрын
Worried that your pornography problem is bad? Find answers with my free online assessment here: bit.ly/quiz-dimitri-douchin
@dimitridouchin 10 ай бұрын
Join me in the 21-Day Porn Detox Challenge here: unhooked.care/porn-detox-challenge
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
Dr Gabor Mate says that addiction is a coping mechanism to deal with self hating and past trauma.
@dimitridouchin 10 ай бұрын
Absolutely, I did not know he said that but I completely agree. Addiction is a way for someone to find some pleasurable me-time to escape the pain of their daily life. The pain may be obvious like feeling depressed. It may be less obvious like chronic stress. Most times the pain is completely buried in the subconsicous mind as repressed emotions. Once we allow ourselves to feel those repressed emotions in a safe way, we find freedom from addiction.
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchinThank you for your insight. Dr Mate also says that we need, in a strange way, to 'thank' our bad addictions for helping us to temporarily escape our dark feelings, and then to let go of them as we would a bad friend.
@dimitridouchin 9 ай бұрын
@leonaleona333 Yes absolutely. The indulging in addiction is to soothe or comfort a deep hurt within ourselves. This hurt is often repressed emotions from childhood or traumatic events. The addiction is the best mechanism the person has found to get better - but it's a dysfunctional one. So we can say thank you to the addiction for trying to help, and I'm going to find better way to regulate myself. That's where the journey of healing starts 🙌
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
It is said that only one who has passed through the labyrinth can teach others how to get out of it. So I will listen and test what you have to say. Thank you.
@dimitridouchin 10 ай бұрын
The only way out is through. I see that you have the humility and the curiosity to find healing. Keep up with the good attitude 🤜 🤛
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
Very interesting. I mostly agree, but would argue that our inner child is weak (and therfore the unconscious mind that is controlling us - making us weak). One would want to be able to delay gratification, like the 1972 marshmelow test suggests, and not be controlled by his immediate impulses. Thank you
@dimitridouchin 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for your comment Leon. The inner child is weak if you look at it with the lens of the inner parent (rational mind, discipline). In the same way the inner parent is inefficient if you look at it from the lens of the inner child (lack of spontaneity, constraints). Immediate impulses arise because the inner child is in pain (traumas, unconscious emotional wounds) and is looking for a way to end that pain. Those impulses are extremely powerful, and so the inner child is anything but weak! It is trying to communicate that it needs healing but because none is coming it is finding its own soothing mechanisms with impulses. My take on it anyway ;)
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchin Thank you very much for your detailed explanation. But aren't there people who are more disciplined than others? Who cope better than others? Who chose Long-term goals over immediate compensations? Or in your terminology - with better inner parents? Most of us envy those people. Also, it seems the inner child you speak of is the "ID", the inner parent is the "Super-Ego", and if so, one would be better for having a developed "Ego" (or a better "Sublimation" behaviors). Isn't it so?
@dimitridouchin 4 ай бұрын
Hi Leon, just catching up on your comment I missed from 6 months ago 😅 Yes you are absolutely right, for those people who are disciplined - withdrawal can be successful *but* fixing the beahviour / symptom without healing the root cause means that 1. the dysfunction causing the addiction may resurface with other symptoms 2. what a wasted opportunity to heal the deep emotional wounds we carry. If everybody had healed their deep unconscious emotions wounds, the world would be a better place. It starts with us doing the work :) Yes your parallel with Freudian archetypes is absolutely on point. None of the archetypes is better, but in most people 1 or 2 would be dormant. A healthy balance of all 3 inner child, inner parent, inner adult is the key to experiencing inner peace. When one archetype acts alone, dysfunctions occur. Hope that helps!
@leonaleona333 4 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchin Thanks again for your informative comment.
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
This is a most unique and interesting perspective that I have never heard before (And I have seen many "NoFap" videos over the years). I will follow all your videos and check what you have to say. Thank you for your high level content
@dimitridouchin 10 ай бұрын
Hi Leon! I'm so glad that you found this video relevant. I will be posting a new video every week in January ;) It's great to hear from you
@leonaleona333 10 ай бұрын
@@dimitridouchin Thank you.
@joestewart2298 11 ай бұрын
Dimitri PLEASE do a video on being sexually attracted to a family member and why?
@dimitridouchin 10 ай бұрын
Hi Joe, thank you for your request. I will make a video of where sexual fantasies come from, how they anchor and what to do if we can't fulfil them. Stay tuned!