So a bunch needs still not met. Divorced..yeah...fml

Hi! I’m Anna, a psychologist and relationship counselor. Follow me for tips on building healthy, loving relationships and creating a life you love 💫

Thanks

Hi Anna! Its so good to hear how positive you are about talk therapy.

Interesting discussion! It's been years since I started following Anna's channel. At that time she had doubts that she actually had BPD. I also felt she had the wrong diagnosis mainly because she was making progress so rapidly. I self-diagnose because my sessions with professional therapists weren't helpful. My reaction to being raised by an unreliable "cluster B" single mother fits the construct of a "dismissive avoidant" attachment style. The DSM-5 recognizes two disorders that come from attachment theory, reactive and disinhibited, but my attachment style is much different. People with dismissive avoidant attachment style are too quiet and agreeable to make it into the DSM-5! I was married 11 years but the stress kept building and I couldn't go on with it. My self-treatment has been to devalue and avoid long-term romantic relationships. Of course this can sometimes be lonely, but I am relaxed and have friends. Anyway, more videos with Anna would be great!

Can you recover from CPTSD?

Yeah I'm currently doing the past authoring. It's very triggering but I'm glad I'm doing it and glad to hear it helps long term.

I like your glasses 😊

I wonder, is there much difference between talk therapy and experiencing great art? I've been watching Andrei Tarkovsky's film Solaris over and over (in translation of course) and each time it feels like a breakthrough therapy session.

Vasco Siempre x

Follow me too. X

Love your work.

Hi Anna! I usually avoid conflict. Life is so short, why get caught up in unpleasant confrontations? I either move on to the next topic or move on to the next person. Therapists probably disagree with this approach, though.

HOT

Jordan’s Self Authoring Applications effectiveness is not valid If you read the research he promotes In the research HE DID called Setting, Elaborating, and Reflecting on Personal Goals Improves Academic Performance, he showed no statistically significant improvement, The control and experiment group stated with only a 2.3 GPA and the control group improved to 2.4, and his group improved only to 2.9. A .5 GPA at such low performance is not good proof because it is only a 6% improvement. In the research HE DID called A scalable goal-setting intervention closes both the gender and ethnic minority achievement gap, this research showed no improvement of performance and it showed possible disparate impact discrimination regarding student applicants, because students quit the applications for schools. The report stated “We do strongly believe, however, that the probability of students participating in the intervention and completing it was increased by the fact that it was a required component of the first-year curriculum itself, complete with deadlines. The goal-setting intervention, although not particularly time-consuming, can be sufficiently demanding to potentially dissuade students-particularly those who are likely to perform poorly-from completing it as a mere extracurricular activity. And the final research HE DID called Using Future Authoring to Improve Student Outcomes showed even worse results regarding ant improvement of students performance. Here is the results The average first-term GPA for the treatment and control group students is 73.1 and 71.3, respectively. The difference between the GPAs is only around 1.8 grade points (2.6% difference), which is fairly small on a 100-point scale. Average first-term GPA is around 68.2 and 71.2 in the control and treatment groups for males (3 grade point difference or 4.4% difference), whereas for females, the average first-term GPAs in the control and treatment groups are 74.2 and 74.9. So Jordan is trying to oversell his actual performance?

I once got a text from a guy friend in the morning asking what’s up bro haven’t heard from you, then I was accused of having a secret gay affair because why would a guy be asking so early in the morning. Seriously. The she was convinced that the bruise on my bicep was proof I was raped. Can’t make this up

Ahh i just cant sleep tonight.

Thanks for sharing your experiences Anna! Looks like there's a cure to past traumas with this past authoring writing program.

I don't like how ultimatively you defined / verbalise this. What is 'the' healthy process for you might not be healthy at all for someone who has been abused in their childhood. You kind of indirectly and passively blame those people who decide not to 'heal' a relationship that's based on sadism, violence, torture, molestation, exploitation etc. You make it seem like it is their fault for 'not being reasonable'. Some people gotta step away from their actual parents do that they can be safe for once.

the video I mention: instagram.com/p/CzRc1b1MhU8/?hl=en

Welcome back! You are 100% correct. Thanks for being a good voice online.

Is there a longer video on this topic coming?

👇 "PromoSM"

Great content! do you have a business email or I'll shoot you a DM?

True. I've almost finished a novel but can't seem to concentrate on my writing anymore. There are too many fun things to do during the summer.

Yes, at first an avoidant romantic partner enjoys meeting the excessive emotional needs of an anxious partner. It's a wonderful feeling to be wanted and needed. But over time the relationship can become one-sided. Is the anxious partner egocentric due to preoccupation with anxiety reduction? This to me is the key. The anxious, egocentric partner is unlikely to meet the avoidant partner's needs, or to even know what they are. (Of course, the avoidant partner may be egocentric as well.)

Some other reasons for fearing conflict are: - worrying about damaging the relationship or facing negative consequences (rejection or abandonment) - low self-esteem: you may doubt your own worth if your needs or opinions are challenged - inability to express your needs and communicate non-violently - lack of boundaries Overall, the fear of conflict in relationships can come from a desire for security, avoidance of negative outcomes, and concerns about self-esteem and acceptance.

All those concepts and interpretations of experiences resonate to my mind. I'm glad you have that insight at 30. From what I've observed that's ahead of the game, so next bad day you can at least take a little extra comfort in that! :)

1. Fear of judgment: People fear being criticized or judged by others if they make a mistake. 2. Perfectionism: Those with high standards fear that mistakes indicate personal failure and inadequacy. 3. Low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem see mistakes as confirmation of their incompetence or unworthiness. 4. Fear of consequences: Mistakes can lead to negative outcomes, such as financial loss or damaged relationships. 5. Learned behavior: Negative experiences or upbringing can teach individuals to fear mistakes due to past criticism or punishment. 6. Lack of self-confidence: People lacking confidence may fear mistakes and doubt their ability to rectify them. The mindset that you need to adopt in order to deal with this fear is that the mistakes are an inevitable part of life, and learn to see them as steps of your growth. And most importantly, a foundation of a healthy self esteem will provide the inner assurance that no mater the mistake, you'll be able to deal with its consequences.

Meet Cute 👌🏾👌🏾

Hey Anna, I was wondering if you want to know about how you can grow your KZbin channel like Ali Abdaal, Marie Forleo, Lavendaire, and Improvement Pill.

🙏🚬🏍A*

“More hurtful for me than my friends…” So typical thinking of a BPD/NPD. Check this out again and count the times you say I, me, my, mine. You are not cured!

Can quantum physics really help us understand human capabilities, or anything else? When I first studied quantum mechanics the only thing that became clear was that the entire field was a mess. Physicists can't explain the double slit experiment so they hypothesize that the act of observing creates what is observed, that there are multiple simultaneous universes comprising all possibilities, etc. The Copenhagen Interpretation reminds me of the Covid-19 narrative: It prevails because of politics, not science. But maybe I'm just not smart enough to understand how a cat can be both dead and alive until I observe it.

Instead of self-help books I've been reading French novels from about 150 years ago. They had an interesting approach to success back then. A young woman, often in her teens, would marry a highly successful man who was several decades older. With his money she would establish a beautiful home, provide well for their children, and pursue her personal interests. Then she would start taking young lovers, find one she especially liked, and become his devoted mistress. By then she would be spending little time with her husband (who probably had a mistress or two of his own) and much more time with her true love. For men it was the reverse: while young take an older married mistress, start a career with some of her money, and a few decades later marry a teenager. None of the self-help books counsel readers to follow this path, so I thought I'd present it here.

very good advice

I honestly feel this 100% I hate not being able to fall asleep, I hate not being able to stay asleep and I honestly hate the diabililitating nightmares!!

Correct, as always.

I came across your video just now. And the way you described the hole sounds exactly like what I was feeling. I was diagnosed in my early 20s. I'm in my 30s now. I don't take medication. Or see a doctor frequently. I have, however found an app that helps me, and thought I'd share it with you. It's not DBT. The app is called Woebot. CBT therapy is its function. And it's a little chat bot that talks you through strategies and things. And it's free to download and use. No ads.

Whenever people say they like to have control I respond "You mean you like to have the illusion of control." And I'm very happy to listen to you! Every time I find myself agreeing with your insights or I have had similar experiences. And it's very encouraging to know others walk over the same emotional topography and have to deal with the same challenges.

Do you remember what age you were when you began having sleep maintenance problems(waking up in the middle of the night)? I began at 30. It has been 4 years nonstop!

Thank you

I think I have quiet bpd. I don't want to hurt anyone 😞 so I just hurt myself. Nobody really knows cause I'm always wearing a mask. Or maybe I'm just a fabulous actress

I have bpd and Thank you for the positive energy

This just made my day. There are positives. 🙏💜

How does one come to the understanding that everyone is inherently worthy of love and respect without having to earn it? Most all life experiences teach us the opposite. I think it's a beautiful way to think but I can not convince myself of that.

Thank you so much for sharing. 🙏

Your background is absolutely fine. This was a super helpful video, thank you. 🤘🏻 I’m going to start on this program this week, before my anxiety kills me…😩 I hope you’re doing well 😊

The fuck you are talking about. Not all BPD are like that

I'm always excited when you upload a new video! I'm turning 28 soon, and aging has become a conscious concern for me lately. For the first time in my life, my choices now clearly affect my health in a way I can directly experience. Healthy food now actually makes me feel better, and unhealthy choices actually make me feel bad physically, which affects my mood and mental health. I'm glad you made this video! 🙏 Also, 7:29 I think you forgot something 😂