Of the 90% that were predicted, what percentage stayed married vs divorced?

2:17

You could really help if you teach psychoanalyst like how u teach teachers. Psychologists want us to mimic death_ sick world for sick people

Be veryvery wise when yielding. The Jean Vanier spirit had been activated into the biosphere like a virus Jesus is your Only Answer for this sickness

thanks

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Here is the secret to great sex... oh we're out of time never mind.

Some aren't even open to dialogue unless a guaranteed complete change in behavior/desire/characteristic/interest/preference is known and stated beforehand.....

The absolute best lesson, besides instilling the golden rules & GOD! ❤️😇👥🫂🇺🇸🌎⚖️🔔🌟🔥✨ is saying ‘I’m sorry’ ~ to teach ~ FORGIVENESS!! Without forgiveness there would or WILL BE ~~~ NO: real, heartfelt, genuine & bona fide ~~~~ AGAPÉ LOVE!! ❤️ And that my friends, is what every human around this world 🌎 NEEDS & WANTS!! Everything, absolutely EVERYTHING!!!, starts in the home with life lessons to become the best version of yourself you can be! Thank God we ALL have 24 hours a day, 365 days a year in a lifetime to get it right! But don’t wait too long! You will WASTE your precious time on this earth! 🩷

So basically, if you were going through a rough patch, then make a mistake, even if you try a repair attempt, you're doomed? What's the takeaway there? I guess it sounds like the emotional bank account needs to be rebuilt, then make another repair attempt later.

Well done.

What does it mean if you freeze at open ended questions? It’s like I get overwhelmed and don’t know what to say. Just shut down

This is great. Thank you for sharing.

This stuff only works if both people agree to abide by the rules. Most people act out of emotions at the time..if someone doesn’t want to see your point of view, it doesn’t matter how you phrase it. I’ll keep trying to use this stuff and see if things get any easier.

0:00-0:15 this part made me cry when I hear this negative phrase on my situation. 😢

Men "Accepting Influence" ...'Happy wife, happy life'. Lol

An extremely rare commenter here... What can get complex real fast is when one or both partners are neurodiverse, and one partner has Pathological Demand Avoidance. If the bid is an ask/request/demand, the demand/bid can trigger an automatic threat or anxiety (fight, flight, or freeze) response causing panic. It is not necessarily as simple as choosing to pay attention to the partner's bids, as it's not a choice or on purpose that the neurodiverse person may respond to a bid with rejection and turning away. Then, you have one who feels rejected and frustrated and one who goes into fight or flight response, adding layers to the other partner's bid-rejection. Let's be aware of bids being an easy way to improve a neurotypical relationship, but let's also consider expanding our awareness and recognize that neurotypical ways of doing something do not work for neurodiverse relationships, and can actually cause more distress and harm than improvement.

All of which a Covert Narcissist would have.

I'm so happy for you that you had such a positive experience.

I’m watching this over and over until it really sinks in that I don’t deserve to be criticized in this manner. It’s also not my job to teach another adult how to communicate in ways that aren’t harmful.

Meh.

My weakest point : let them speak! Be attentive and present and slow down, take time to measure the stuff words cannot express. I am too busy..

THANK YOU DR GOTTMAN!!!!! I did a little takeaways video for my main learnings from you -- kzbin.info/www/bejne/oKOriWpuop6kqJo

This misses the mark on what being the default parent means, at least today. It doesn't necessarily mean that you, the typically cisgender heterosexual woman, are a stay at home mother and homemaker and may not want to be. It could mean you're working the double shift of being a working parent and the one who not only performs the lion's share of the physical labor but also carries the mental and emotional load of managing the household and childrearing. It's being the one the school always calls when the kid is sick, the one who takes the kid to the doctor, buys the clothes, fixes the boo-boo and tantrum and meals... regardless whether the other parent is present. And it's not just about the other partner not doing their share--it's the societal expectation that you are the one who automatically (ie by default) are, and should be, the one handling those things.

This is really FANTASTIC... Thanks...

Can you also do a video on HOW contempt builds? And the impact of chronic defensiveness, stonewalling, and failure to share influence?

Can partners really change? If a partner has a pattern of turning away, defensiveness, and stonewalling can this be a learned or changed pattern?

Marriage vlog kzbin.info/www/bejne/l4mYZHljeJ6rhZY

Masterclass, thank you 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

some people don't like complaints either - they can't handle being told they are not perfect

Sounds more about relationships than just marriage.

Nice! Thank you

Wish to whatever God there may be, my husband would actually ask me any kind of questions like that. Or hey maybe paying attn when I speak. 🙄 Eye contact can even go far. O and we have been divorced already. Been together since we were 14! Yes we broke up for short periods of time, dated other people, then married at 22, child at 26, divorced in 2013, and remarried in 2018. N here we r. Same shit different day. 🤦‍♀️

Marriage is outdated and confusing

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

Amazing

My wife can’t even spell the word sorry.

This'll be a book that's save lives.i wish that you make true Γεια σας είμαι από την Ελλάδα το όνομα μου είναι Χριστίνα και μόλις χτες διάβασα το βιβλίο σας Η συνταγή της αγάπης το οποίο ομολογουμένως παρέχει στους αναγνωστες σημαντικά εργαλεία για την επιδιόρθωση μιας σχέσης.Ομως θα ήθελα να σας ζητήσω μια χάρη και πραγματικά πιστεύω ότι είναι κάτι αναγκαίο για όλο τον κόσμο .Αρχικά θα ήθελα να σας ενημερώσω ότι στην χώρα μου από τον covit και μετά έχουν αυξηθεί ραγδαία οι γυναικοκτονίες με λύπη θα σας ενημερώσω οτι η γυναίκες δεν έχουν ασφάλεια περισσότεραο μέσα στο σπίτι τους παρά στους δρόμους έξω.Εδω και χρόνια πιστεύω ότι πρέπει να υπάρξει ένα βιβλίο που να καθοδηγεί τις γυναίκες πως να αντιδρούν όταν τα πράγματα φτάσουν στο κόκκινο μιας και που οι στατιστικές μιλάνε από μόνες τους και λένε ότι οι περισσότεροι άντρες δολοφονούν τις γυναίκες τους όταν εκείνες τους ανακοινώνουν ότι θα τους εγκαταλείψουν . Πιστεύω ότι πρέπει να υπάρχει η σωστή καθοδήγηση από ψυχολόγους που έχουν κάνει έρευνα πάνω σε στατιστικά στοιχεία στο πώς είναι σωστό να αντιδρούν με σκοπό φυσικά πάντα να φύγουν αλλά με τρόπο ώστε να είναι ασφαλής για τις γυναίκες.Επισης πιστεύω ότι και οι άντρες θύτες είναι θύματα του ίδιου τους του εαυτού και ίσως ελλοχεύει κάποια ψυχική πάθηση ( εμμονές κτλ.) πίσω από τις πράξεις τους και ίσως να υπάρχουν και συμβουλές για το οικογενειακό περιβάλλον των αντρών και πως μπορούν οι οικείοι τους να τους ηρεμήσουν. ή να τους βοηθήσουν πριν φτάσουν στο έγκλημα.Πιστευω πολύ σε εσάς και στο έργο σας και μακάρι να διαβάσετε αυτό το σχόλιο.Απλα πιστεύω ότι όταν μια γυναίκα σκοπεύει να αφήσει τον κακοποιητήτης δεν πρέπει ποτέ να του το ανακοινώσει ειδικά όταν γίνεται καβγάς γιατί είναι επικίνδυνο για εκείνη ,ούτε να είναι επικριτική γιατί αυτό χειροτερεύει τις αντιδράσεις του άλλου σε ένα καβγά (,ειμαι σίγουρη ότι υπάρχει συνταγή και πως να και πώς να τσακώνεσαι και πώς να εγκαταλείπεις κάποιον με τις λιγότερες συνέπειες)αντ αυτού ίσως να υπάρχουν κινήσεις που μπορεί να κάνει διαφορετικές ώστε να χωρίσει όσο το δυνατόν ανώδυνα και με ασφάλεια.🙏🏻🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏾🙏🙏🏿

Thanks for the lessons. Wow! "Dont listen to respond, listen to understand!" That's the take away!

Huh?

I absolutely appreciated how you not only shared the four horsemen and explained them, but also that there is a way to get better/resolve the problem. It gave me so much hope! Thank you.

This is brilliant!

I’m just going to blame the other person and move on in my life

MAN, WOMAN & the WOMB: SSGFFFF = Submission, Servitude, Gratitude, Fit, Feminine, Friendly and Fun! SSGFFFF are HER DUTIES to her MAN. The Bible says it in just two words, "Help Mate". His are PPPPP = Procreate, Protect, Provide, Preach/teach, Play (In that order)! Note! To "Protect"means: 1st: To prevent her WOMB from any intrusions from any outside men or harming the being encapsulating it, the WOMB. 2nd - Protect his progeny. 3rd - Protect the home where the WOMB exists. Notice it didn't say protect her. It's all about her WOMB. Her WOMB is HIS womb. His to provide & keep safe for him, for his use, his progeny, his pleasure. Not hers. His woman, his womb, his property, his pleasure. Any other attitude towards the WOMB is a FAIL. She needs him to THINK and ACT as if it is HIS PROPERTY. Otherwise, he won't fully PROTECT IT! And that is an empirically proven FACT!

Is he a brother of Dr. Russell Barkley

I’m a newlywed and this was great information.. thank you!

That was fascinating. I’m in the midst of a very amicable break up (so far) and this lecture has helped me connect a lot of dots. After 4 years we’ve failed at some of the fundamentals and it’s wonderful instruction for making your relationship work, but also an incredibly useful tool for establishing the glaring issues/ lack of connectivity. Thank you 🙌🏼

I was legit freaking out about my marriage, but then Queen Stella Laveaux came through and saved the day. Her spells and guidance brought my wife back and restored our happiness. A friend recommended her to me, so I checked out her website and reached out. I was totally skeptical at first, but after seeing the crazy good results, I'm a total believer in her abilities and would 100% recommend her to anyone who needs help.

No no and no. Why should a healthy spouse have to carry her husband's trauma?