Wonderful vid. Thank you 👍❤ wish you the best of health.

Great video explaining Self Concept Clarity in detail and why it is important. I can still vividly remember one moment where I really felt strongly like my true self and that still helps me to this day. I found the exercises at the end very helpful!

Thank you for all of your content, Dr. Thomas! Best channel on the internet 🛜 You have a gift for consolidating complicated topics that are so essential to life, and giving memorable advice. Your 3 keys to relationships: self-Fidelity, curiosity/presence, and warmth will forever be imprinted on my heart, guiding my relationships forever. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with us!

So if your authentic self is not compatible with social conventions you're fucked. Knew a guy who was really confident and outspoken but everyone just thought he was super annoying. He wasnt even *really* annoying to me. Just had a different wavelength of humor and cadence that is not common

BROTHER THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND DOES NOT HELP

Very interesting and thought provoking stuff here, thanks. I've valued authenticy for a long time, but never knew this. I've also at times felt the need to prove myself and low self worth and shame. I wonder now if trying to be authentic has helped me in ways over these years that I did not realize at all. I'm such a work in progress but I'm really going to ponder this and my struggles with identity. I think there are areas I have to go deeper with this. Thanks!

As a self aware narcissist, I'm learning this to tone down my narcissism.

Thankyou very much. feels so much lighter inside😪. weights are taken away.

Could you please share that journaling exercise you were talking about? I'd love that

At 2:45 you mentioned therapy. Where did you obtain that particular therapy and is it still available? Thanks in advance

Did I just hear "Freud discovered eel's testicles"? Either my brain is far worse than I thought or you're testing whether we're truly listening 🤔. Well played, I am attentively listening 😅

Thank you. I'll not betray myself and accept everything I am.

This is profound. Thank you so much!!

Thank you. Great video x

Confidence is only attractive to women. I don't find confidence attractive in other people: I find it threatening. "Neutrality" (not being confidence and not being the opposite of confident either) is way more attractive to me.

❤

There are plenty of people out there just waiting for someone to give them the floor. Talkaholics. Who take no interest in your input. I walk away feeling small and disrespected. Better to walk away early from such people. Don't encourage them. They are starving for the limelight or just think you are a dumb ass for letting them dominate.

What's the word for when you are so annoyed that the KZbin algorithm knows you better than you know yourself but also so grateful because it gives you exactly what you need to hear next?

This is the right answer

I watched the whole video but I don't see the dude become better looking through it....

Kindness, compassion and self respect.

Wow , will do😮❤

I'm a man. And I can't finde any visual hints on you to have a reasn to have low self esteeam or no confidents.You are a very good looking man...smart...I almost can't belive what you say...Maybe you just wanna sell your book...yourself...But...hm..I don't know. Just an honest opinion.

I loved it ❤

My new favorite channel ✨✨

Excellent video.

I am a person that at a wedding, you can sit at the table of people who don't know anyone, and I'll get the conversations and interactions going. I am usually confident to interact with anyone, go to a social event by myself, get to know people. I make new friends, get invites etc. My 'trick' is to change my approach. I do not go in thinking 'I hope people like me' or that I must be accepted etc... (I used to in my youth with much anxiety). My approach is that I am on a mission to make people feel loved, my method is, whilst in an interaction, to say to my heart with sincere effort 'please look after these people, let them be loved'. I also try to avoid being absorbed by my thoughts, be aware of what is happening and have some awareness of my heart. ~ This is actual, practical effort not a theory or opinion but something you do and try hard to be sincere in. This removes my dependency on what people think of me or if I fit in etc; that does not matter, I'm on a mission for their benefit, for something important. I have done various forms of what you might call meditation, with a lot of focusing on the heart. This is crucial because you know you can achieve a degree of psychological harmony with no external dependencies. It gives you a solid base, emotional warmth and a degree of psychological control, which other people can sense. People say to me things like "you have good vibes you", "you can just speak to anyone", "I feel I can be vulnerable around you" and "can you come to my party".

I agree with your explanation of why self-fidelity is hard, but i disagree a little with your characterizarion of the necessity inauthenticity for acceptance. It is possible to withhold parts of yourself for acceptance's sake but as long as the parts you do show are authentic, i believe you are still practicing authenticity. Also the idea of being connected with your "true self" is appealing to an outdated idea of a one genuine self. People are living things and its in our nature to change. There is no true self. I think it would be more helpful to tell people to be true to who you are right now and be accepting of that.

Wouldn't it be possible to re upload this without the music? Its super distracting.

This is interesting to me because for me personally I can't stand it when people ask me questions about myself. I find it extremely invasive I don't enjoy talking about myself. I often feel that it comes across quite insincere. It feels as if people are asking because they think they should not because they're genuinely interested. Because of this I don't ask people loads of questions about themselves because I don't want them to feel the same way. I enjoy discussing subjects or hearing about people's experiences. My worst nightmare is small talk.

If you the title made you doubt yourself, congratulations, this video might be useful for you

Great video. I'd like to add the caveat that yes mixed signals can pull one in (i.e., flirting). But when a dating partner keeps communicating mixed messages beyond the initial flirtation, then it creates insecurity and often can lead towards heartbreak. So, flirting is fun, but at some point signals need to be clear and unambiguous so that both parties can begin to build relational security with one another. I'd say after date 3 there shouldn't be more mixed signals about interest and pursuit of each other, otherwise one may end up in a situationship. Does that mean flirting should stop? No. Flirting should never stop even well into our relationship years.

Great work. Thanks for including the research behind this. <3

I like how you talk about confidence is not about appearing like gigachad, yet you put pictures of yourself being gigachad in public every 5 seconds

Its status as well .Consider the same guy .He pulls up to meet people in a top of the range car and next time pulls up in old banger .The guy with the top of the range car has more status and thats instantly more appealing to people.

How do we employ these modes of thinking along side experiencing symptoms C-PTSD??

My absolutely top new favourite KZbin channel! Thank you Dr Thomas for your effort, great research, and neat presentation of ideas. Always pleasure to watch and learn more :)

Not the one guys, just talk

I try to be confident and your video title tells me I’m doing it wrong? So I can’t even do that right?

Eel testicles?! Lol

Great video! Can you make a video about approach anxiety and how to overcome that fear and approach anyway?

Another great vid- clear, informative, practical yet inspiring too, thanks again!

Thanks!

Nah you're wrong. I somewhat likes myself but no one cares🤷‍♂️

16:00 read this

is it just me whose bothered bout the messy bookshelf behind 😅

So be more like Goku and less like Vegeta, got it

Thank you for sharing this. I am an introspective person, fairly intelligent I guess and with deep knowledge in certain areas. I like this idea of faith in self. My confidence issues stem from childhood and are hard to address and I go through waves or self belief and impostor syndrome. This video put a lot into perspective. I do believe I am authentic around others but I have found that many people that I interact with in certain areas of my professional life don't like this and I find it perplexing and makes it difficult to have faith in others or to openly trust others with myself. Complex world that we live in.

Thank you. Very mind opening! Totally gonna put it into practice

I don't have perfect self confidence but I have more than most in similar situations. I remember actively developing it "faking it" in middle school... telling myself things I wanted to feel. I'm in my early thirties now, im not perfect but I am confident. There's definitely something to it.