She is a racist Karen.

I grew up in domestic violence, and I never thought of it this way. It seemed more like he wanted to get rid of me so he could have my mother to himself. He didn’t like that I took up her attention. He wanted her all to himself.

Dafydd Llewelyn can not be trusted,just another layer of protection for Dyfed Powys Police, PSD can not be trusted to protect the public either, another layer of protection for police, i've been there!

It happens more that the women use the children as weapons against the father. Way way more often.

RIP Evan Stark ❤

Thank you for this. It takes a village (a city and her leaders, a cult, a .org, etc. ).In my case, there is a community of covert coercive abusers acting together, as is often the case when legal abuse, stalking by proxy, surveillance, massive technological abuse (off the charts and traceable), car tracking, car and driving abuse (interference, harassment on the roads-trying to make me late to work, setting me up for road traps and molestation/cryptographics) and millions of dollars is being spent to isolate, financially devastate, parentally alienate, and keep me from the career I grew, the man of my dreams, etc. It's wild how far covert abuse can go when toxic community members, coworkers, roommates, and all flying monkeys are doing the narcissists' murderous biddings under the radar. They are as accountable as the narcissist in some cases, for pushing his ruinous, devastating, debilitating agenda, which often leads to murder, as you have well articulated. When people do not speak out about abuse, they will also be held accountable by God.

I whish he had talked about children assigned the role of a partner after a divorce.

Promo sm

I wish Dr. Stark could have helped my daughter and informed me almost three decades ago. He is correct on every point.

Thank you for shining a light in this abuse, the process of implementing coercive control into a relationship, a slow but sure “killer”, mostly used by narcissists. Gaslighting is a big aspect in this kind of abuse. And even if the victim escapes, these partners still get access to the children (because there may be no physical/sexual violence present and children are not heard), which is devastating to them.

humblest gorgest cutest little angel 😩❤️‍🩹

Yet ... no studies, nothing, about the male victims of Coercive Control. Nothing. Nobody cares.

Joshua Anzalone 6020 Respond to how these targeted abuses are effecting your children…

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Exposure of their fathers sadistic intentional abuses to their mother primary care parent cc has ACES 😊

This is what I've been subjected to along with my youngest child, and people enable him because they see a man who portrays himself as an "involved hard working father" instead of who he really is: a covert abuser. I constantly fear for the safety of my child whom he uses as a pawn to continue to harm me and to uphold his false image.

Does anyone know how to contact Dr. Evan Stark?

Dr. Stark understands coercive control like no other. I am forever indebted to him for all that he taught me, and for mentoring my Ph.D. research which he often mentions because it provided some of the first empirical evidence in support of his theory of coercive control.

A slogan law is manufactured by stakeholders to benefit law firms by inflating violence numbers in order to increase referrals within the system, thus gaining control... a slogan law is subject to the whims not of justice and truth, but to the whims of political witchhunts. that can be circulated to the realms of adjact hysteria where the premise, validation and logic of a case accusation would never be dared visited.. Countries with a penal trial and ordeal tradition tended to create Slogan Laws based on fear and superstition which was the law of scapegoating ..eg woman as witches in the medieval ages..where a trial and ordeal system was the primitive form of justice…. Though we live in much more modern times , the tenets of witch hunting laws still exist ...for example an anonymous reporting grid gives the judgment to various industries to hold the honor of the law and report to the government of suspect behavior... though they are not legal courts in themselves.. they help heap and exaggerate threats of a vice or usually to garner the pile against scapegoat to such great heights, that the sensible basis of an accusation is never visited because the environment of the lynch mob was so fever pitch that one was garnished guilty before arrainment... This is one of the reasons the romans prided themselves of the barbarians , for literally having no jurisprudence... this is a case subject at hand.... called slogan law.... or bogus law....... So fake slogan laws have no inherent benchmark or standard to test its veracity with because it runs on a lynching mob mentality of scapegoating that is primarily emanated and manufactured by stakeholders who are are content to form new surrogates probitionous presumption of guilt to gain a new illegal referral ... thus the classical notions of primae facai are lost to fake laws that suggest and implant to register a preguilt feature onto the blamed rather than testing case with objective classical laws of jurisprudence to ensure laws and its processes are transparent and seek justice, and truth not political correctness that appease a few barons in the barbarian elect. And the accusation could not be denied, since the heathen surmises that due to the hysteria that it is so widespread…. These laws are produced by "conflating pretexts" whereby they take an extreme example of violence and now use that disproportional event as the poster child to rig the statistic to state that this is representative of the average level of violence in society.. thus because politicians have no social contract of the napoleons and Romans , but the barbarians , they can state anything without being accountable in a direct form of democracy to check them.... Instead marketing, public relations and social engineering dictate to public new threats that become so pervasive that no legal court is immune from its slogan making sleeze and ulterior agenda to manufacture slogans as respectful tenets of law…

A slogan law is manufactured by stakeholders to benefit law firms by inflating violence numbers in order to increase referrals within the system, thus gaining control... a slogan law is subject to the whims not of justice and truth, but to the whims of political witchhunts. that can be circulated to the realms of adjact hysteria where the premise, validation and logic of a case accusation would never be dared visited.. Countries with a penal trial and ordeal tradition tended to create Slogan Laws based on fear and superstitution which was the law of scapegoating ..eg woman as witches in the medieval ages... though we live in much more modern times , the tenets of witchhunting laws still exist ...for example anonymous reporting grid gives the judgement to various industries to hold the honour of the law and report to government of suspect behaviour... though they are not legal courts in themselves.. they help heap and exaggerate threats of a vice or usually the scapegoat to such great heights, that the basis of an accusation is never visited because the fever and environment of the lynch mob was so fever pitch that one was garnished guilty before arrainment... This is one of the reasons the romans prided themselves of the barbarians , for literally having no jurisprudence... this is a case subject at hand.... called slogan law.... or bogus law....unfortunately. the romans never had time to educate the british about this law... So there is no benchmark or standard to test veracity of new slogan laws because it runs on a lynching mob mentality of scapegoating that are emanated and manufactured by stakeholders who are form the new custom of finding this accusation the new orbitus presumption of guilt to gain a new referral ... thus the classical notions of primae facai are lost to fake laws that suggest and implant to register a preguilt feature onto the blamed versus testing with classical laws of jurisprudence to ensure laws and its processes are transparent and seek justice, not political correctness that appease a few barons in the barbarian elect.. These laws are produced by "conflating pretexts" whereby they take an extreme example of violence and now use that disproportional event as the poster child to rig the statistic to state that this is representative of the average level of violence in society.. thus because politicians have no social contract of the napoleons and Romans , but the barbarians , they can state anything without being accountable in a direct form of democracy to check them....

This is the deplorable tradition of the British who derive their systems from the trial and ordeal penal code of the barbarians and today disguise this treacherous system through virtue signaling but are only serving to infringe further the rights of people and. the propensity to increase false accusations of a system incapable of depoliticising a witchhunt or pandemonium of stakeholders who will interprete any fragment of suggestion of macho control as evidence of preguilt... because britain never derived her systems from roman law [impartial jurisprudence] and a firm bill of rights of innocent until proven guilty, it has instead produced and replicated its barbaric trial and ordeal system whereby continuous lead and suggestive questioning will find enough hearsay evidence to convict a man for simply asking a question to a woman twice. Further it is a slogan or loophole to convict since law is not created in a classical sense of defining free behaviour and free rights... this is how feudalism can thrive during a democracy, through rhetoric and public relations of inflating domestic violence to justify laws that significantly deprive men of their rights... a new witchhunt which is within the tradition of the British.... These people who advocate these laws are the barbarians the Romans termed and are sociopaths who degrade and usurp tradition and custom for social engineering, division and exploitation...reminiscent of victorian england where a person deemed unusual was enough to be sent to a mental asylum...this folly continues today through the idiom of virtue signaling, NGOS, and under the guise of philanthropy...that would even make the fallen angels blush to the degree these insolents term themselves self righteous for creating laws that only law firms benefit from and is an example of commercilising law for profits which the romans state considered was a barbaric feature of barbarous nations who prized money before the sacred commons and constitution.. A slogan now seeks to juzapost itself above the bounds of normal law , by being a caricature of stakeholders who hold the new religious zeal of persecution to those that fall close to its definition, even against basic forms of legal prima facai , intent, motive and other metrics of validations..These laws are not laws but new slogans with an ideological frame of reference... because these bastards do not have these civil characteristics in the basis of their laws, they instead confound and pulp up the the illegiitmacy of the new slogan with advertising and connontation so as to that if one were accused of being coercive, any doubts to the contrary based on legitimate forms of law such intent, motive and precedence are ignored for the advertising slogan that resounds ... that it is already deemed and pronounced widespread and needs to be eradicated like a biological disease.. just like how the english treated the poor in medieval england...

Coercive control can be used by a woman over a man and his children as much as a man, when I told her she couldn't beat me, especially in front of the children, she wasn't too bothered because verbal psychological emotional abuse is at least as bad, I sometimes wish she would beat me, as physical pain would seem a relief from the mental torment, and easier to explain..(perhaps this is why people self-harm?). She can triangulate with children too, and use them as leverage in controlling me, she can isolate, and devalue me in their presence, and in my absence.. and female abusers are more easily believed when they reverse the victim/offender roles when confronted. Perhaps the language should be more inclusive?

💜❤️

good/

Good/

Good/

you have described my mother and two of my ex-husbands. I lived for 4 decades in this abusive atmosphere and my poor Dad who my mother abused for 60 years. ....I was stalked/threatened/ emotionally and physically abused. When trying to seek help from others.....These people maintain a "perfect' public image and even though I reported the abuse and threats to police several times they told me that they could do nothing unless they saw my ex-husbands /or mother, attacking me. In the 80's there was no place to go for a safe haven. I gave up trying to expose the abuse by my mother and ex's.

'Google' Coercive Control Law UK This Law Was Fouded in England Which Has Been Updated Every Year Since 2015 And Now Has Been Rolled Out UK Wide.

Jesus forgives us. But it is hard to forgive when someone cuts you with words then claim they did nothing. God help the survivors like we are.

When are we going to stop excusing women’s abusive acts on some man who is around? Not in this lifetime, I assume. This is due to the power dynamics from the “wymyn’s movement” and their supercilious and malevolent subculture of misogyny against straight women and girls. It takes a Potemkin village to aggress in this manner.

"You will never see your kids again. They will forget about you". Every man/father I know when I asked him "Who is the boss in your household?". The answer is always the same: "The Mrs/She is". Why not speaking of domestic violence as a neutral catastrophic and devastating event in the lives of all those involved, in particularly, the children? Does a single man/father who is a victim of false allegations of domestic violence and abuse by his ex-partner in order to gain the upper hand in family/divorce proceedings a lesser human being? Let's have the courage to discuss the issues. As soon as court proceedings start women are placed in this victimhood box, they automatically are portrayed as "damsels in distress", "shrinking violents" incapable of great deviousness and/or harming this alleged abuser and the child. You are forgetting that every men on planet earth would not be here if not for women, that you are "our mothers"....how have you raised us? How have you failed us, your sons, so badly that we grew to become these monsters? We men have also daughters, nieces and sisters...do we love them any less than our sons, nephews and brothers? How many more children need to become orphans of fathers before we wake up to the facts? A husband/boyfriend is killed by wife/girlfriend and she can walk away free on the "excuse" that she was "controlled"...however, he is in the grave unable to refute the allegations. kzbin.info/www/bejne/r2GwgGWlgLOAl6c kzbin.info/www/bejne/pWS3k32sYt6ka9U kzbin.info/www/bejne/noPShIiFd517b80 kzbin.info/www/bejne/rqqsgnl_bZtoldk kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6XXfqJtZ8iIg7M

It was me..for 38 years

I love this women she is hope to anyone who’s been through hell and back, she fights on to make change.

no but the way my face started heating up when I saw michael in that suit-

I’ve not found a better explanation and description of CC. Dr. Stark is absolutely accurate and his knowledge is eye-opening. His work should be in court rooms world wide. This should be taught to judges, and mediators, amount the many others that are in that realm of the family court system.

Lost her husband and her son. Something wrong with her really. This doesn't happen to normal people.

He is describing exactly what I am going through. I am so scared of him He uses my kid, and I am so scared for her safety. And mine. I have escaped and hiding but if he finds us he can take her and hurt her to punish me. I live in fear every day, it is hell

Help⛓️Could somebody please mention the Australian woman's Summit? I'm told women's voices will be heard, but I've not seen one update about it since Anna first mentioned it. Had I missed that one news segment, I doubt i'd know there was an upcoming woman's Summit yet. I guarantee you there are women who missed that segment. I feel like I've been swept (& am being kept) under the carpet. Not exaggerating. Here's the scoop. Single mother's are toldd we weigh on the economy. We are the same women Howard paid to have to have children when we'd been a spouses. Don't you all mean that females who'd been spouses in 2013 weigh on the economy? When Australia says "single mothers" without detail as to who we are, it chances people will think you're all talking about a bunch of us who wouldn't keep their legs shut 8 years ago. At least please say "single mothers (most of which had been spouses when they'd had their children which they'd planned responsibly) are weighing on the economy". ..Why wouldn't you be planning to talking about our being disrespected? News set their own stories up before reporting on them don't they. There's probably already articles written for next year's women's Summit & problems to be induced to go with those. How can anyone respect us when reporters & politicians (not wanting trouble with reporters) keep lying about us by omission? Not telling us that perhaps some of us are doing what we wouldn't, for we do not know we don't have to. Don't say it we all have free choice. That is not true. No matter which way women turn (given the options we've been given), we will be shamed. She should not be shamed if she decides to have 3-5 supportive partners and she should be told it is acceptable that she do this if she prefers the new 3rd multi defacto option. Somebody do the math please. Omg, 😔 It feels like I've arrived home, just as you've left, & I've had to work out for myself that you left me with all of the laundry. 😭. You want to teach people respect by first inciting disrespect? is that right? Is that fun? (Help). Do you all enjoy looking like you're doing something so long as no one suspects you're not? Help. Honest. I'm starting to think you think we're entertaining. We are not the ones who are the drama makers. You all are. Stick your head out the window & ask men on the street if they think the women who'll be talking at the summit are possibly drama makers. Have a look at the comments on Anastasia's Woman's Summit post. Have research Dept try prove me wrong. Stop conveniencing from inferiority. for crying out loud . Tsk. howard paid us per child, so, where is he now it's time to defend us? And then I hear scomo's telling us all to have children again. So we weigh on the economy, cannot run a family business in inner-city Sydney even if we have a partner,& then we're told single fathers are worth twice what single mothers are, yet no one will tell our men they should not expect us to meet them halfway. I see 3-5 supportive men, & I realised you cannot tell this woman she weighs on the economy or that I can't run a family business in inner-city Sydney if I'd like to. These problems you want to chat about at the Woman's Summit, well, look closely at them because they are not "problems" but rather "canaries in the mine." How much money is going towards the summit, that might otherwise get single mothers & their children out of those cheap & terrible districts? They're going to hell aren't they, unable to leave these places. Howard paid her to have three kids. And now she's envisioned as a street toughy. No wonder her husband talks about doesn't want her back. Women have been deprived of their tools for life because Messy Couples Issues prevent anybody saying no one should call a woman who sees 3-5 men & cares about them a hor. (Have you ever thought that a person has a greater capacity to be cruel who tends to want a person in their possession? End the war between sexes & just tell us we aren't forbidden to be semi - girlfriends to 3-5. I'll tell you once to have only two men feels like teaching and is not good for the soul. With 3-5 men, each one of us look like we're on fire. We lead lovely & fulfilling lives. Because you won't brooch this, insisting amongst yourselves that the more men we see (up to 5) who care about us the more likely we're going to be bashed. Rather it is the opposite. No one touches a hair on my head. Men as spouses, you are very very (devastatingly) boring. It's not natural we should be with only you. You knew we wanted for your happiness, & you said you wouldn't feel like a real man if you couldn't have a woman of your own. (You lied.). We get used to you being boring, quietly suffer emotional neglect like frogs in hot pots, so that when you easily won't speak to us when we feel we want to leave, we realise we don't know what you're thinking not to think we were to blame for our incompatibility, & so, we don't leave you thinking we are unwantable, & sure enough, when we do leave, we're bored to death again, made to feel unwantable again, & we find it hard to turn down people thinking that if they don't love us, how hard it would be to find somebody who would. Maybe you don't do it on purpose. maybe you do it genetically, but I'll tell you what, Australian men who are singular spouses to our woman are pointing at them saying "my priorities lie with her" whenever we broach those single mother's living in poverty. He knows though that the average marriage is only ~9 years, & it's neither here nor there whether his wife be next to be called single mother, weight, burdon, good for nothing, drama causing ..fragments of people. What men really want is what the next man has. Whatever it is. You're having a woman of your own doesn't make you feel more of a man by my perspective. Couples remind me of a mushroom & a gnome in a nice doggy bag that will never be opened. They are both hollow in ways neither equip the other to see, (for neither are with anybody else to see a problem with one by the wobble in the others). Then, tsk, because you keep saying two heads are better than one, (not 2, because still no-one seems to want to do the math), someone drops the doggy bag, & every time, people just back away from the smoosh & keep treating you with kid gloves to try to prevent you from stinking up our day to day. Messy couples issues are keeping us all half dead. Not to mention to us all any other way to live then to have one partner or none is coersive abuse. You know it is. If we are not subject to the law unless we break the law, then why on earth are we all continually, year after year, Summit after Summit subject to be with one or none unless married? We are being lied to by omission, & being turned blind eyes on as though being reserved for the next Summit, &, because every man thinks he's entitled to a woman of his very own. When I started seeing 3 to 5 men, only then did I realise that when with 1 man, I had woken every morning feeling like I was looking down the barrel of a gun. I don't write about women's issues. I write about issues affecting humanity, & please believe me when I tell you, we are all looking down the barrel of that gun. Somebody help please. I have written about this to almost every to every Australian parliamentarian, but no one wants to Talk about anything anyone else wants to talk about. They already have what they think in mind & there's nothing shifting them & so there's nothing shifting us. Do you realise we're in trouble, or do I just sound like some man hating feminist or something to you? This doesn't look like it took a lot of work & heart to write? I have never had such trusting relationships. Don't you dare associate what happens to women who are spouses with women seeing 3-5 men. The latter aren't being assaulted. It's spouses, & working girls who see strangers who are at risk of violence. I am treated brand new every time I see one of my men. Would you believe you each have your own special mating dance. No spouse has ever treated me so well. know, if men were the fragments instead, we would finally be able to say what we were worth. & there would be plenty more men with a good women behind them. At least if you're going to call us fragments of people, we should be given the dignity of knowing exactly what we're worth. Tell male partners we aren't worth as much as what he thinks, so when we go from meeting him halfway straight to living in cheap & dangerous districts with our children, he doesn't just point at the new love (after new love) of his life like they must obviously be better than us. Men, I would like some of you to say on a late night advert "I love women. I'd love one of you all to myself, but I think you should know, we're going to go broke, & if you want to be with 3-5 men & care about them, I won't let you be called Ho". Ladies you might like to say "I love a man when you let me paint you with Weet-Bix when I offer because you think I'm doing it for 3 others." (Kindly saying that you are boring as f, a liability, & an embarrassment for not one of you will stick up for us since it does not serve your interest to share. As long as you all keep thinking things you don't know you wouldn't, truth can only get so much stranger than fiction. That is philosopher death. If nobody changes things dramatically with "you can see 3-5 men", I can see philosophers will soon be beating their heads against nothing left to know anymore. Krystel Spicer Mind Ark FB 🐦 .. duped canary (38) Stanthorpe Q. Australia (Help. ..Help😶😭 ).

Hi Rache!, How are you? I met you in Margate with Oasis Domestic Abuse Service, I’m Welsh as well. You are an amazing and inspiring woman. I was in Refuge myself, and later have been able to work with an a the charity. Thanks for making people aware of Domestic Abuse x

We need help and all the audio and paper trail I have no lawyer wants to touch my case. Do y'all help people get resources we need .

Please listen to the best YT video I have seen in months: YOU ARE A TOASTER

Wonderful lady. Just finished her book.

My Story...l was Stuck and Stayed. At least he didn't Hit me. But he pinned my Son to the Wall by his throat. I stepped in and thought l was strong. He left and didn't come back til after we were asleep. Never said another word. Than he pushed me over my Hope Chest onto the floor for something minute. I was told l couldn't come out til he said so. I eventually snuck downstairs and cooked Dinner like that never happened. I was an Endentured Servant. On my Own and in a Guilded Cage of Poverty. A tight Leash. He Lied. He Cheated. He was Covert. Selfish. Intimidating. Put on a good show. He got anything He wanted. He was happy. Miserable Bastard! He Backstabbed and Betrayed me. He loved to Tease. Humiliate. I was his Property. His Tax Deduction. He didn't really care. I was Disposable. He always loved Money more. He had a Secret Bank Account. He would Deny me Money to feed our Sons if l Displeased him. My Talents and Hard Work went Unrewarded. Not noticed. I was worth Nothing to him. A feather in his cap that could fly away. He could turn on a Dime. He enjoyed Denying me. My needs were inferior. I stayed 20 years. Tried to get Therapy but he cancelled and changed the insurance twice so l couldn't. No one saw or knew. It feels like no one could ever understand my suffering and loss. He ruined my life and l can't wait for this World to End...l fear l will Die an Old Maid. My Sad Lonely Loveless Life! Help...

My dad used to come into my room at night when l was "Sleeping" and sit on my bed. He was Abusive but he was also my Sunday School Teacher. I would just lay there Frozen, pretending to be asleep, so scared and just Pray that God would make him go away! It worked!

Be careful talking to that cody lachy .he's a crackpot and he's a woman beater .God bless you

Please see The Surviver Diaries and ONRECORD. Please share this on social services, courts and legal platforms. God Bless this professor with real insight.

My children began to be used against me before they were even born. He had not been able to stop his first wife from leaving him without children and he later told me he would appear more suspicious if he remained a bachelor so he married me and had children with me so he could appear "normal" so he could get Citizenship in USA. He used the children in so many ways against me, mostly as a threat either against me for character assassination when I had a reputation that mattered to me when he met me and because he knew I would put the children first, he used them all the time to manipulate me into doing things that were not in my best interest and prevented me from holding him accountable but in the end might be better for them and were what he wanted. He also used the threat of harm coming to them regularly to keep my focus on their safety and well being at my expense. He could always beat me to the punch like when I saw him secretly moving something heavy in our storage, I never exposed the children and they were always my responsibility, and I had to keep them safe, so I had to make arrangements so I could go back and see what was going on, but he had gone back there again first, as soon as I left he had returned and so the heavy boxes had been removed. This happened often.

My children began to be used against me before they were even born. He had not been able to stop his first wife from leaving him without children and he later told me he would appear more suspicious if he remained a bachelor so he married me and had children with me so he could appear "normal" so he could get Citizenship in USA. He used the children in so many ways against me, mostly as a threat either against me for character assassination when I had a reputation that mattered to me when he met me and because he knew I would put the children first, he used them all the time to manipulate me into doing things that were not in my best interest and prevented me from holding him accountable but in the end might be better for them and were what he wanted. He also used the threat of harm coming to them regularly to keep my focus on their safety and well being at my expense. He could always beat me to the punch like when I saw him secretly moving something heavy in our storage, I never exposed the children and they were always my responsibility, and I had to keep them safe, so I had to make arrangements so I could go back and see what was going on, but he had gone back there again first, as soon as I left he had returned and so the heavy boxes had been removed. This happened often.

My children began to be used against me before they were even born. He had not been able to stop his first wife from leaving him without children and he later told me he would appear more suspicious if he remained a bachelor so he married me and had children with me so he could appear "normal" so he could get Citizenship in USA. He used the children in so many ways against me, mostly as a threat either against me for character assassination when I had a reputation that mattered to me when he met me and because he knew I would put the children first, he used them all the time to manipulate me into doing things that were not in my best interest and prevented me from holding him accountable but in the end might be better for them and were what he wanted. He also used the threat of harm coming to them regularly to keep my focus on their safety and well being at my expense. He could always beat me to the punch like when I saw him secretly moving something heavy in our storage, I never exposed the children and they were always my responsibility, and I had to keep them safe, so I had to make arrangements so I could go back and see what was going on, but he had gone back there again first, as soon as I left he had returned and so the heavy boxes had been removed. This happened often.

I am so thankful for your efforts and understanding. It is so important that your work saturates the understanding within the family law system around the world and doesn't get corrupted by the DARVO that occurs so often, and by the hired gun custody evaluators touting parental alienation with little real understanding, or because they, themselves, enjoy tearing loved ones apart and being cruel. I so pray you are heard because I could give you a hundred unique examples of coercive control harming both me and the children, that no one would understand as abuse if they only knew of one incident or he denied wrong intentions a thousand times over. Thank you. I am so thankful for the terminology. I thought I could not call it abuse because he did not hit me. I didn't know where to begin to tell someone.