The puppy looks so cute!

I love your streams! I might not be able to make it to all of them due to school. But keep the great work up!!

Yes! I do love the way that your so chill in all your streams and just Vibing with chat! 🫶🏻

🏳️‍⚧️❤🏳️‍⚧️

SO SRRY I MISSED IT!!

Discussions include: 12:04 Party games 18:46 Stardew Egg Festival 19:45 Have you watched Arcane? 34:20 Moving 40:37 Webfishing 42:05 The "I saw the TV glow" trend on tiktok -- please send in your related videos to be discussed in an upcoming stream! 1:15:14 Rose is here! 1:52:29 baby chickens <3 2:12:28 Rose is starting estrogen! Celebration on stream next week 2:16:44 - 2:17:54 Congratulations on 320 subscribers 2:28:40 Recommending Stardew Valley as a chill game 2:33:58 yummy snacks from the bakery 3:13:00 Goodbyes and upcoming channel goals

<3

"Cis"..."Nonbinary"...STFU. There's only Men and Women, and idiots who think they can get attention by pretending to be something else.

i love how history courses in america love to shit on germany for what happened early to mid 20th century and it almost seems like something similar is happening in america

ttyl first second yeah u right ttyll bitty

Hi sweetie. I took a job in South Africa 11 years ago and love it here and we have equal rights LGBTQ+ and woman’s autonomy.cost is low here and most people speak English as an additional language Europe I think is also a great option for Americans being targeted by hate laws

Wow!

i hope you enjoy Germany :> America can suck sometimes :/

I feel sorry, not just for the queer community in the USA, but also women and people of race. America wants to be a free country but don't realize how much more worse they are making it. They don't think twice. They don't think twice when they hear a childish man, say that he'll get rid of abortion, even if you have been r4p3d. They don't think twice when they hear a snobby little man, say he will not let people who are themselves, trying to use the correct bathroom and not let them. What a stupid country. I hope they are happy. And I'm sorry for the people that voted Kamala, because you'd think she would've one. But no. I hope those imbeciles who voted that disgusting excuse for a man are happy when the6 realize what he is going to do. It's just foolish. I hope they are happy.

Oh dear, I hope that Germany is going well for you!

What are thembos and himbos?

sorry i couldnt come back it wad a great live tho

Oh no! I missed the live! I hope I get to see the next one!

OMG SLAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE FIT! AND THE SUIT! X33

Gorgeous fursuit! 🫶🏻 (can’t wait till your live again!)

❤

I dont think any topic is off limits. The only example of media that I think harm might outweigh good is when the author has the wrong intentions. Such as a book that's messages is that pedophilia is good or that racists/bigoted stereotypes are true. Like books and movies can be very powerful. Think of the media that potrayed slaves as "content being slaves". Another example is the movie Hostel halted tourism dramatically in the country it was set in when it came out. That said I dont think media should be censored but artists need to be aware of the power their art can have and use it consciencely. This is not a critique against splatter horror necessarily. In my experience authors in that genre are often very aware of the issues they are covering and handle it correctly. Ive seen more problematic stuff in disney shows tbh

I read Cows and it intrigued me because of how much Stokoe seemed to be saying SOMETHING with all the grossness. I wasn't sure what it was, but immediately picked up High Life to see if Stokoe was a one-hit wonder because I've only heard reviews talking about Cows. I thought High Life was possibly even grosser, probably because it didn't deal with animals (metaphorical or otherwise), but on the people. And the people were horrible, disgusting, terrible. What they did was horrible, disgusting, terrible. But in the same way as with Cows, Stokoe was clearly saying SOMETHING, especially as he shows the differences between the main character and his friend and how differently they process a terrible event they are responsible for. Nothing is so in your face that you feel positively certain just WHAT they were about, just WHAT you're feeling after reading it, but if you take the time to put your feelings into words, you see how interestingly those stories were written, despite all the splatter. The question of where extreme horror stops becoming a medium in which one can explore areas outside the moralistic norm of society - why it's called transgressive fiction - and where it becomes something actually harmful or dangerous is an interesting one. In reading some of the more extreme novels and novellas out there, I think I have found where the line is for me between enjoying transgressive fiction and getting something out of it, and reading something nasty with nothing to say. Aron Beauregard's books are some that I've been disappointed with - just gross for the sake of being gross. Zola was another one that was quite well written but the focus was less on the semi-interesting characters and more on just their nastiness, so I found it "just okay". On the more extreme side where I have no interest in going, a couple of YT reviewers have reviewed a book called Hub, and they seem to share the opinion that it it just straight up CSA p*rn. They felt like they were doing something illegal just reading it. When I compare that to a book like Lolita, which is an amazing work, and I start to find a left and right of arc as to what extreme horror I will enjoy reading. I like books that make me think. I don't want to think about children being SA'ed. I did read Baby in a Blender, and found it to be just gross for the sake of being gross (the title only says the half of it). In contrast, I thought the short story The Chocolateman (I believe there is a longer version I haven't read yet) which includes a limited scene of CSA, was interesting. The SA is not shown in graphic detail, and the twist that follows reveals something about the main character, so it had a purpose and thus felt less gratuitous to me. For the most part, I am finding that Kristopher Triana's books are the most enjoyable, with some honourable mentions to Duncan Rolston's Woom, Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, and Matthew Stokoe's High Life and Cows. I also really enjoyed Maeve Fly by CJ Leede. 👍👍

Very apt recommendation from KZbin. I recently read The Sluts by Dennis Cooper and American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis and am currently jonesing for more similarly icky books. I also really enjoy films one could describe as disturbing but typically I shy away from the ones that border on pornographical like Angel’s Melancholy and the Guinea Pig series. I think the discussion and disenchanting of the consumption of extreme horror/media in general is very validating to me. I’m a very quiet and passive person in my day to day life, it upsets me when bugs are harmed let alone other humans. I don’t consume the media I do because it personally titillates me, but because it’s very comforting and cathartic for me to subject myself to horrible things in a controlled environment. The world is a big scary place, especially for people of my stature and social standing, so sometimes it’s nice to be the one in control of my own suffering if even for a little while. Edit: I forgot to mention my pick for media that went too far for me- the film Bully (2001). I couldn’t even finish it, I don’t even remember what scene made me quit either. It was all just too much, it jolted me out of a downward spiral I had found myself in where I was trying to watch the most extreme and disgusting films I could find. That was a bit of a dark time in my life but now I’m through the other side.

I don't think there's anything too bad to write about, but I do think the author's intentions matters a LOT. I've read disturbing things that I loved, and disturbing things I've regretted reading, and in both scenarios I can respect the author and the work. What I can't respect is something like the manga Made in Abyss, where the ACTUAL violence and horror of the series pales in comparison to the way some aspects that are not supposed to be horrifying are portrayed. I liked the anime, but I could not read the manga because it felt painfully obvious that the created was a pedophile. The child characters were constantly sexualized, and it was wildly uncomfortable in a real world way as opposed to the clearly fictional violence.

I love this video so much, thank you!! You’ve convinced me to add Cows to my reading list. I really recommend checking out Negative Space by B.R. Yeager if you haven’t already. It’s not splatterpunk, but it sure is depressing and has stuck with me.

Excellent video essay that hits the emotional core of why I enjoy horror that makes me feel things. Half of my brain was riveted to your words, while the other half screamed obsessive-compulsively because your lip piercings both leaning in the same direction bother me more than a fictional character getting their intestines spooled out.

This is great!

Citing Patricia Taxxon I love to see it aaaaaa

While I am interested in extreme horror, the things that affect me the most aren't always from the horror genre. There is a part in Cyberpunk 2077 when you get a call that Evelyn Parker committed suicide after she was rescued from being in XBDs, which is the high tech version of snuff films. I think there was just something about the moment I got the call that reminded me of the time I got a call from my ex back in high school that his dad shot himself in the driveway. Everything after that point felt really similar to getting that type of call in real life.I had met his dad about as many times as V met Evelyn in the video game, so I didn't really know his dad very well but I still felt that I knew him enough that it was hard seeing the aftermath of his death. Me and my ex were also talking on the phone when the gunshot happened and heard it, but didn't know what it was at the time. He called me back a little while later with his dog panicking in the background.

this has genuinely made me reconsider my media consumption! as a child/teenager, I used to exclusively seek out media w/ the darkest, most upsetting stories I could find; extreme traumas, death, torture, misery & tragedy through every line. (except, surprisingly, the only thing I couldn't stomach was gore). it fascinated me. I'd return again & again to the most upsetting parts, horrified & intrigued by what was there. I even wrote pages & pages of short stories on the same topics (which, similar to you, I never shared w/ peers after realizing it was considered 'weird' to write abt that stuff). I was growing up in a pretty rough home situation, too, so it always seemed like those things were correlated. like, I sought out this extremely upsetting media as a escape from my own circumstances. and as I got older, moved out, and started healing, that idea was corroborated by friends & therapists; and I was encouraged to leave behind the 'upsetting' media & find my own interests. except I never did!! I've barely read books or watched movies/tv (hell, I've barely written, either) in YEARS b/c I've never been able to find things that interested me. and I never bothered to dive back into the dark/upsetting stuff b/c I genuinely believed my experience of liking that stuff had been unhealthy. this is the first time I've considered that maybe my interest in that sort of media is just. genuinely preferential ! your explanation of the thrill of pushing your limits, and preference hedonism made me realize that's exactly, spot-on, what I was experiencing when I sought out extreme & upsetting media growing up. it wasn't an escape; I just liked it! and I never realized this b/c we don't often hear the perspective of ppl who enjoy extreme horror this was eye-opening, I'm glad I came across your video!!

Really interesting video. Though one critique I have is that the audio is very low and even at 100% it was hard to hear and I had to rely on the captions. If in the future you could volume boost that would be super duper appreciated

oh yeah the Algorithm cooked with this one 🔥

Loved this video!

id say media existign never in and of itself causes harm - i mean birth of a nation exists but im pretty sure if i watched it wouldn't go out and start lynching people. People who want to do harm will do harm regardless if media tells them to or not. also your video is pretty quiet, maybe make the volume a little louder next time?

interesting video. i agree that media and art shouldn't be deemed as too outrageous to exist because i hate the general censorship and how everything nowadays aims to be so sanitized. i relate to the story you shared at the beginning about your writing as when i was way younger i'd draw bloody and gorey scenes in my school scrapbooks and feared the teachers would see them (looking back they definitely did cuz i didn't hide them that well LOL) mostly cuz i just thought it was fun. but it freaked my friends out for sure

Nice chat c:

Human nature and sexuality is predatory in nature, it would not surprise me that gore is secretly more popular than we realize, everyone must eat but eating implies destruction of another.

I wouldn’t call it extreme horror or splatterpunk, but based on the first 18 minutes of this video, I’d like to recommend the book “The Only Good Indians” by Steven Graham Jones. The review I give to everyone is “this was horror not in the “I’m so scared” way, but in the “my stomach hurts and I want to go home” way.” I think it really hits that impactful, electrifying feeling. Book recommendation aside, I’m really glad this popped up in my recommended! Excited to watch the rest.

Found this, subbed, and loved it. It really encompasses my thoughts and self restriction when it comes to gorey, violent content. I've found them fascinating from childhood, I was also a writer and I was always on an up and down see-saw of feeling a weird sort of catharsis and appreciation for such art, at the same time that I shamed myself for enjoying it in the first place I'm extremely empathetic, I care a lot about people and animals, I'm a nature lover, and I spent most of my life not liking bouquets because of the idea of killing the flowers to receive one But extreme gore and violence (fiction, I must make it clear) has always filled a very specific and important part of me. It makes me morbidly curious, it tears me up and fills me with so much emotion, pain, disgust and sadness, at the same time that it gives me hope, empathy and camaraderie with the people who have created such works I appreciate your video and the short story you've presented to us, Bixie, and I'm excited to see what comes next

Wow, KZbin really called me out through the magical mystery of the algorithm.

This video gave voice to a feeling I've become very familiar with and made me feel slightly less crap about my reading habits. I'm so glad this video was recommended to me :)

bringing up cows- it's kind of obviously about how both humans and animals are exploited under capitalism. it's about how men encourage each other to reach this nonexistent and unachievable status of true manhood. it's also about isolation and trying to find love and connection under capitalism. i think the nature of the grimy prose and the acts themselves are a perfect example of what you said earlier in the video about how people focus on a horrific thing in a book, rather than what it has to say thematically.

Hey I know this might seem silly with the title, but a specific trigger list (I get it can’t be all encompassing, but with some common triggers) would be really awesome at the beginning of a video like this. I Love horror and fiction that explores the twisted and upsettingly broken taboos, but I also have CPTSD that affects my ability to engage with the content I enjoy without experiencing flashbacks. Just a short title card with a basic breakdown can be really good for gathering/checking in with myself before I engaging in media and I don’t think I’m alone in that

"the sinking feeling of revulsion that had been so exhilarating..." THAT. THAT THAT THAT. ive been journaling off and on for the past few months about that specific feeling. i love hearing people talk about it, i really can't get enough of it. it makes me feel a little better and so much less alone. good video! can't wait for more! i'm excited to see what you make next, regardless of topic!

I can't wait to watch this video! I'm commenting now because I'm gonna listen as a drift off to sleep and I want to provide some engagement ❤ I love hearing different perspectives on horror, especially queer perspectives! Love from a queer person from Ireland 🇮🇪 🏳️‍🌈

Time and time again, the psychology has proven that our weird imaginary scenarios are normal and healthy. Expressing it (to write, draw, consensually roleplay and otherwise safely interact in a fictional way) is also normal and healthy. When it comes to mental health related to these taboo topics, we need to focus on obsession and clear behavioural problems. The moment those fantasies begin knocking on reality's door (eg: starts considering harming an actual, living animal), a person needs to seek a therapist. Pearl-clutchers and knee-jerkers can only blame fiction for so long, because it takes the responsibility and focus away from actual violent acts and the perpetrators behind them. Censoring what can be portrayed in fiction is only a distraction, not a solution, from what horrors occur in reality. At some point, we have to hold **people** responsible for their actions, not the media they choose to consume. Edit: I hate that I have to say this, but of **course** certain media should be kept in communities where it is appropriate. Mind the age of the audience, the interests of the audience, how they expect fictional works to be tagged / thumbnailed / content-warned. Responsible presentation is a huge factor in keeping taboo fiction in the hands in those who want to interact with it.

I'm going to write this comment in spanish since it's difficult to me to translate my feelings towards this topic. No soy consumidora de horror extremo, pero si me ha dado mucha curiosidad ver ciertos films que tienen fama de provocar shock en su audiencia, para probar hasta cuanto puedo aguantar, como dice el video, probar mis limites. He sido una persona miedosa desde muy pequeña, siendo resguardada por mis figuras adultas como una niña "demasiado delicada" o "demasiado sensible", pero a medida que he experimentado contenido mas gráfico, me hace sentir increíblemente fuerte el poder sobrellevarlo bien en comparación a mis pares. Siempre me ha causado curiosidad el morbo. No haría nada de lo que este tipo de contenido muestra y tampoco es parte de mi moral personal, pero el poder aguantar ver algo así me provoca la fantasía de que si en algún momento llego a ser victima de algo de esa naturaleza, seré capaz de sobrellevarlo y estaré psicológicamente preparada (aunque probablemente no sea verdad)

How does this only have 85 likes, i thought it would be at least 40K

Wow the algorithm is super polished huh, your video is definitely the kind I find interesting. I'll save it so I can listen to it while darwing