Of course an income producing "job" is needed for survival of any family unit so we'll set that aside. If there is an imbalance of shared responsibility within the home that's not the fault of one person or the other. They both share responsibility in communicating their needs to the other. If one feels like they aren't getting all they deserve from their partner they need to communicate that... doesn't matter if it's a stay at home mom or dad communication is the problem not the "job"

Exactly! Being a homemaker abd mom is a job - a huge one! How can anyone say women who stay home don't work???

Yeah clean up after him, then you get the satisfaction of watching him run around looking for his keys that are on the key hook. That was sarcasm

You are so right! I often batch cook and plan for leftovers so I only end up cooking a few times per week 😊

I’m general everyone is responsible for their own mess. HOWEVER as a wife I pick things up to serve my family because I love them. As soon as they feel entitled to it and ungrateful, I stop. Also, we all have different comfort levels of mess, and forcing my family to bend to MY comfort level is only showing my own entitlement. We serve our family. My husband serves our family, and we create an environment of responsibility, service, and gratitude when it comes to who does what in the house.

I wonder if she is married...

absolutely not. It's not ANYONE's job to pick up after someone else. Even when I baby sat, the four year old I watched picked up after himself. my siblings and I brought the dishes to the sink. We took our mess to our room and were allowed to have it however we wanted so long as nothing was growing in there [mold or bugs] and the dishes made it to the sink within the same day or at the most the next day. Same with garbage. The only acceptable time to be picking up after someone is when they're sick or imboble like a baby who can't walk yet. even a 2 year old who can pick up their toys and move them can put away their toys. You just make it fun and help them because that's where they learn.

I am with the daughter

I guess my mom didn’t do this, when was a kid my dad was always gone for work, and my mom isn’t exactly fit, so she just didn’t have the energy to really teach us how to do chores, at least that’s my theorie, now my brothers are lazy fs and I try to pick up after myself but it is just not as easy as it sounds when you were never raised to do anything in the house, so even though it’s not hard at all and u try my best to clean up after myself as much as I can, it not always just that simple as” just pick it up and throw it away it’s not that hard” it should be, but if I don’t even know where to put my stuff it gets a little harder She now still cleans up after all of us by the way and she also does all the laundry which is a lot she mops the floors vacuums she does the groceries and puts it all where it should be and she usually cooks every night, it’s honestly really sad and I try to help her as best as I can

So you're telling me the body can just randomly give you your hearing back for fun at the end of your life? The human body is petty af 😭

I use be daughter now I actually love being the mum the look my partner face when dinners served or when he gets home clean house (when I'm not working) before use he angry yes he does help out

You absolutely are depriving them of life skills. You're a partner to your spouse, not a parent! And your kids need to be taught life skills so they grow into capable adults.

Seriously? Cleaning up after an adult family member is a treat they get when they’re falling asleep in their plate after a 10 hour shift. And you tell them to just go to bed and you’ll do the dishes because you don’t want them to drown in their spaghetti. You pick up after little kids because they are little, my two-year-old nephew does not know that he has to put his toys away. Once he’s able to fully understand us, he will absolutely have to put his own toys away. That will probably happen in the next six months.

This is one of the reasons why the divorce rate is astronomical in the USA.

I would never ever be on my phone while my mom was trying to talk to me so long as you are a stay at home Mom In the man is working a full time job then absolutely you should clean the damn house…. If you’re both working, you both pitch in❤ The child should have chores to create structure for the child. There’s no excuse.

A good wife... The phrade itself is like a granny that refuses to die

As a SAHM its a big no. Once they learn better they need to pick up their mess. My husband better learn how to wash his own plate specially if my kitchen is already clean. I’m there and yes I clean the house but they need to help maintained it. I understand things getting dirty over time but I’m not your slave to pick up after you specially after I just finished cleaning an area.

Agree with the mom here

You can expect people to pick up after themselves and should, but sometimes the house just needs to be clean and the only one who can be trusted is yourself

This is reminding me of that one bluey episode

A mother’s failure is NOT teaching ALL her children the simple practice of cleaning up after themselves.

Good luck with that.

Small kids need to cleaned up after obviously, but you teach them as they get older regardless of sex or gender. I say that but my husband and 3 boys are NOT good at picking up, I pick up the slack way more than i should, but i never pretend I'm a cleaning fairy and that it's MY job because it isn't other than the baby. The baby is my and my husband's job to take care of.

You could not have put that better! As far as I'm aware (keep in mind I don't have kids) going on conversations with both my own mother and others here as well as a bit of psychological and neuro developmental knowlage mostly from books. I'm not a parent or an expert in any of what I say. Making sure you keep that in mind reading my comment. To my understanding parents stressing too much about things like this can cause the child to have more difficulty. Mainly due to yung children's sensitivity towards the parents emotions. At that early stage the child is reliant on the parents and aside from the things like love and care they also use the parent (usually but not always the mother) as a guide post as to when to feel scared or safe. What im trying to say is if the parent approaches this kind of situation with calmness the child will feel more at ease. Not unlike us adults that allowed them to feel safe and encourage them in learning these things. But if you approach it with stress the child will feel unsafe. Basically the brain takes it as: mom is stressed means there is danger. So my advice? Things like this will come in time and as varied us adults know ourselves to be in learning things so are children. Some will learn faster some slower but as long as your doctor doesn't seem concerned try to relax and enjoy it. Focus on sharing in your little ones life with them. At this stage when they are this yung both your child and you will benefit from as care free time for both of you as you can have. But once again, I am not a patent and I am not an expert. I just happen to be very interested in child psychology and neuro development due to my own traumatic one that I am trying to understand. To all the moms, you're doing an amazing job! Thank you for doing everything you're doing! Hope everyone is having an amazing day and remember always that you are valid, valuable, unique, irreplaceable and you matter more than you know! take care 🥰

Why is this always the stereotype of a wife/mom? A good wife will make sure to support her spouse in learning how to clean or help clean together. And a good mother will teach her kids how to clean up after themselves. It's stereotypes like this that end up making for an overworked burned out woman who feels she has to do it all alone. Not to forget it is also why there are so many yung adults who grow up in that kind of situation that are unable to/struggle to be independent adults. They grow up thinking that cleanliness is owed to them and they feel wronged when they land in situations they have no choice but to clean up after themselves. Thank you for your video and for spreading awareness about harmful stereotypes. Anyway, I hope you have a great day and remember always that you are valid, valuable, unique, irreplaceable and you matter more than you know! take care 🥰

Stay at home (and homeschooling) mom of 5 kids and a hard working hubby. I happily do the majority of the cleaning. My children are taught from a young age to cleanup after themselves and are daily expected to do so. My husband works all day and makes the money. I do my part by ensuring he comes home to a clean happy home with a hot meal each day that he pays for. In times of sickness, if I've recently given birth, or if I just need a hand he's more than happy to help. There are roles in marriage and not one is better than the other. If you think you are entitled to certain rights within marriage, you will surely be let down. It is a partnership and your service to each other should come from a place of love for the other ❤

Couple of points from a SAHM and Wife; babies can't pick up after themselves so that's not something that starts on day one. And I usually pick up other people's shit because it's quicker than waiting and easier than nagging. We're just trying to stay ahead of the mess best we can, not win points. We all know nobody notices.

Na I’m with the mum , let the kids be kids

My mom taught us to pick up after ourselves. What she didnt account for was an ENTIRE family of neurodivergents who forget they made a mess, and the others not picking up the slack cuz "thats not my mess, i was told to clean up after _myself_ "

And time on her knees

honestly, it depends. let’s take laundry for example, the kids couldn’t reach to put the detergent in, and the husband works. understandable! but it doesn’t mean that the kids can’t fold their clothes, and doesn’t mean they cant watch either, to learn how to do it later on! it’s a nice thing to do every once in a while, like hey, tidied up your playroom, make sure to catch it next time! but it shouldn’t be a constant chore specifically for ma. some stay at home girlies prefer doing the cleaning themselves! my ocd can relate🤣 different for everyone! honestly whatever works in your home! just my opinion 🤍

Teach them independence young, it will make wonders for their confidence and success ❤

Nope hubby is an adult he can clean his own stuff and kids need to learn to this skill.

If she’s a stay at home mom it’s 100% in the job description. My wife get mad at me half the time if I try to do the cleaning.

I'm with the daughter here.

It doesn't necessarily have to be mom, but someone needs to prepare healthy food, whether they enjoy cooking or not.

Haha totally get that but hopefully Someone in the household is cooking healthy food!

It isn’t “up to each individual” what it mean to be a good parent. What “feels good and true to us”. If that was the case dirty diapers wouldn’t get changed. Soiled clothes wouldn’t. Children would be starving. Houses would be dirty. Food would be rotting. People don’t like cooking and cleaning but if you don’t feed or take care of your kid that’s called neglect, it’s objectively bad regardless of society, and you will get the police/cps called on you. The flippancy with which we treat human life is disgusting. When you have a child, regardless of your own desires, you have to put another human before yourself. Even when it doesn’t feel good or you don’t want to. And not ever giving your kid home cooked meals isn’t abuse if you aren’t giving them obesity but we as a society have already started realizing what ultra processed food does to the body and mind

Lol my dad is a chef, and my mom can burn water. As a kid I honestly thought cooking was a "Daddy Job", and was very confused when I saw friend's mom's cooking.

Honestly your channel is underrated! You have such useful information for parents of toddlers. I wish i watched the ABC's video sooner after dealing with tantrums with my 3 yr old, 3 days last week 😓

I think it is important that we live a life that we want and makes us happy. But i also think there are circumstances where you have to do things regardless, it just depends on your situation. I think is still good to learn to do these things because you never know what your situation is going to be, not everything is going to end up how you want. Some moms are left to be single because of different circumstances, they cant weiver their childrens health, regardless of them not wanting to do things. If you have the support of your husband to be the one to do it, then thats good and what works for your family. But you should still have the skills to care for your family incase of situations that happen in life. In the end it is still important you do not live an unhappy way of life, because to take care of your family also means you have to take care of yourdeself. So id say is like a 50/50 for me. I like to live a way where im not uncomfortable, but i am also willing to make sacrifices for them becasue I love them and I want them to feel like they can depend on me when they need it. 😊

I’d say that a good mum does cook for her family, however it shouldn’t be solely the mum cooking and there shouldn’t be the pressures to cook every day. It also massively depends on the dynamics, if the father is working very long and strenuous hours compared to the mother she may have to cook more, and vide versa. Ultimately it’s what feels and works best for the family, but it is important for kids to have proper and balanced meals without all the additives nowadays

Sometimes mom not cooking could be an expression of love 😅

Calling yourself a motherhood coach while also explaining that you don’t need to cook for your child if you don’t feel like it, is wild. Please don’t call yourself a coach.. this is a bad message. You don’t have to be a chef in the kitchen, but you have a responsibility to give them proper food. With all of the obesity, adhd, autism and hundreds of other issues… this is tone def

I hate cooking, i also dont understand food. Autism has its quirks 😂 but i also decided to have a child, so now its my responsibility to learn so i can take care of my son. His father cooks for him most nights, but he works, so the responsibility then falls to me. If you want to live your life with your feelings coming first, dont have children.

yeah if you have kids you get plenty of responsibilities and making sure you feed them healthy homecooked meals is one of them. if you "choose not to, because you don't want to", you are still a toddler at heart. moms back in the day understood what responsibility means, and it's sad that you don't even value it.

lol in 5 years of marriage I can count on probably 1 hand the number of meals I have cooked for my husband 😅 I have cooked a few more extremely simple meals for my toddler (mostly lunches) but the reality of our family is that I find food prep to be almost impossible (in a neurospicy kind of way) and my husband doesn’t hold that against me so he just manages food in our household. Which honestly wasn’t a big mental shift for me as my dad was also the primary cook in my household growing up. Turns out these traditions are not necessary for a happy household 😅

You don’t have to have kids either.

No duh society shapes how we think, but it's not always about how we feel and what is best for us. That's such a narcissistic mindset. Sometimes there are duties and responsibilities

You know, it’s kinda bold of her to assume that she will start a family in the first place and who says that she HAS to cook if she does choose to start a family her husband can cook if he wants to