10 Common Negative Thoughts (& How to Avoid Them) | LITTLE BY LITTLE | Fr Columba Jordan CFR

Ever wake up in the morning feeling "ugh"? Not wanting to face the day, perhaps weighted down by anxiety or your own thoughts? Let's change that. Before they ruin your day - here is a list of 10 common negative thoughts to watch out for.
Episode Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
0:57 1) All Or Nothing
1:35 2) Over-Generalisation
2:09 3) Mental Filter
2:45 4) Disqualifying the Positive
3:27 5 & 6) Jumping to Conclusions
4:32 7) Magnification or Minimisation
5:49 8) Shoulds and Musts
6:18 9) Labelling or Mis-Labelling
7:00 10) Personalisation
8:44 Like & Subscribe!
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Little by Little | Episode #166
Little by Little is a weekly video series by Called to More in collaboration with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. Our host, Fr Columba Jordan CFR, brings you quality Catholic content with new episodes every Thursday at 6pm Irish & UK time. Be sure to subscribe!
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[@ChildofGod98765]

God hear my prayers. I’m a single mom raising my two children with special needs. I’m overwhelmed at times because they are all I have. I recently started homeschooling my sons because they were having so many issues in school including bullying. So my hours to work are limited. Every month I’m struggling, struggling to pay rent, struggling buying groceries, struggling to do it all. Yet God gives me strength. He will provide I have faith. ❤️

[@michelealoia1320]

So sorry you're going through this I'll keep you in my prayers

[@jillhiston4531]

You are carrying your cross, but Jesus IS beside you. There are days when you don’t feel this but He is there and you will be victorious. Are you entitled to any assistance or respite? Can you seek free help from a social worker at a public hospital? Many years ago, we were going through an extremely tough time and a social worker helped us, but we are in Australia. It’s definitely worth investigating.

[@diannedelledera3096]

Praying for you. There must be some help from social services. And from your church.

[@cath4life42]

Avail yourself of the Eucharist as much as possible!!! I started going to mass early in my homeschool journey. It was challenging, but worth it! You are in my prayers 🙏🏽. This season will pass. 🌅

[@j2muw667]

Are you the same person who comments in many Catholic places? And when people donate to you,, you disappear and change your name and the story just a little? Never directly asking for money, but always stating a rough story? I was a single mom to two (adhd) and it was tough. Hopefully you get child support from their father and can get a break when they go to their dads. Or have family help. I’ve found when I’m right with God, life goes more smoothly.

[@maryofventura4767]

I asked my catechism class of 5th graders, "How do you know it's God speaking to you as opposed to you speaking to you?" One of the boys said, " When it's me, I say things like 'that was stupid' or 'you're a dummy' but God never says that." He took my breath away! Beautiful young soul!

[@Catholicity-uw2yb]

ST. JANE DE CHANTAL: “Should you fall even fifty times a day, never on any account should that surprise or worry you. Instead, ever so gently set your heart back in the right direction and practice the opposite virtue, all the time speaking words of love and trust to our Lord after you have committed a thousand faults, as much as if you had committed only one. Once we have humbled ourselves for the faults that God allows us to become aware of in ourselves, we must forget them and go forward.”

[@sheiladumigan451]

❤❤❤

[@elizabetharr8551]

this video is a speedrun and i need the 10 part series, lol. much love to all at ctm

[@paulburns6110]

I’ve enjoyed more peace, since I became sympathetic to the idea, of delegating the job of “personally judging people (including myself)”, over to God. Hence I believe in being obedient and faithful to His way by letting go and letting God. Thanks and God bless.

[@maryfischer8568]

You are a treasure, Father! God bless you too.

[@Great1Duane]

Amen 🙏 “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” -Philippians 4:8

[@Gloucester128]

Learned we are hard wired to be negative as a general defense to survival. So let’s forgive ourselves a bit as we embark on a positive posture.

[@julesarteaga1701]

Father, you really know human being nature!! You nailed it!!Your always deep analysis, plus your sense of humor are the best! 😊

[@sheamaloney5527]

Helpful!🙏 Thank you. I wonder if prayer is like lifting weights so we have the strength to capture our thoughts. Being vigilant takes strength and I appreciate how you made it so clear. I would love to hear your “part 2”! God bless you and all your brothers and all your good work.❤

[@montserratrodriguezchavez1073]

I just had a lesson 2 hrs ago about this! They are also known as cognitive distortions. Thank you Fr Columba for always sharing your knowledge in the most simple way. May the Holy Spirit always inspire you to continue helping us grow near the Lord. Blessings from Mexico!!

[@PhantomRed13]

I've dealt with cognitive distortions most of my life. Cognitive therapy helped a little but it wasn't until a little over a year ago when I came back to the faith that I was able to begin to overcome them. Now after a year of hard spiritual work I'm almost completely free of them and I catch myself when I start to fall into them. God bless you.

[@praytherosary7086]

​@PhantomRed13 do you have any resources you could share to overcome these cognitive distortions? I suffer from these as well.

[@PhantomRed13]

What helped me was going to Mass multiple times a week and reading at least a half hour of the Bible every morning. Important to keep in mind that negative self talk does not glorify God, so don't put yourself down he loves you and wants what's good for you. I also say my rosary everyday. Ask God to help you specifically what's your biggest hang ups/triggers. Most importantly of all give God your fear and anxieties Trust that he will take care of them and you. I hope some of that may help you. God bless you.​@@praytherosary7086

[@PhantomRed13]

I tried replying already KZbin deleted my comment even though it was nothing negative. @@praytherosary7086

[@PhantomRed13]

​@@praytherosary7086I started going to Mass multiple times per week and reading at least 30 minutes of the Bible every morning. It's important to remember you do not glorify God when you do negative self talk, remember God loves you and wants what's best for you. Most helpful to me was giving my fears and anxietys to God, trusting that he will take care of me and everything will be okay. As well the daily Rosary. One book I can recommend is Manual for Men by Thomas J. Olmsted the quotes and teachings of the Saints in there are very helpful. And lastly the Council of Trent KZbin channel.

[@mrshawnbanks]

Thank you for all your videos. I can't tell you how many times God has put your videos in my list at the exact time I needed to hear that message. God is much better than the old algorithm! I pray he continues to bless you and your ministry.

[@deniseparrott9678]

It happens to me so frequently I consider him my spiritual advisor :)

[@REEDRICHARDS2]

Thank you so much, good-hearted man! Tons of wisdom an love in what you've said! May God bless you and protect you always! 🙏🙏🙏

[@josvermeulen6191]

As always, right on time! Thank you

[@janecaws4070]

Thank you Father 🙏 🕊 ❤️ 🕯 🌹

[@Fonsemania80]

BEAUTIFUL FATHER...thank you for showing ME the truth...I am guilty of all of these.God Bless

[@WhiteGoldtube]

Helpful points. Thanks for sharing.

[@markpatterson2517]

Hypercriticism, pessimism, negativity, or hypersensitivity stem from judging yourself and others based on performance up against standards you value or others value whose opinions you value. If you or others fail to meet the standards, you judge yourself or them, or they judge you. Sometimes those standards are not good or right. Sometimes they are too high, perfectionistic, or unrealistic. Disregard wrong standards and reassess the unrealistic ones. Judging yourself and others based on beauty, brawn, sexual prowess, power, money, material possessions, etc, ie, things which moths and rust corrupt is wrong or unrealistic. Judge yourself and others based on the heavenly virtues which do not corrupt, ie, faith, hope, charity, justice, fortitude, prudence, temperance. High moral standards better than low moral standards, so be moral not immoral, but don't get moralistic and ungraciously and scrupulously judge yourself and others harshly. Be holy not profane, but don't become sanctimonious and look down on others. Be just not unjust, but don't become self righteous or exactingly just, ie, tit for tat, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Grace tempers vengeance. Have as some of your high moral standards sympathetic understanding, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. If you act in good will, treat others in good faith, and put good effort into what you do, who can blame or judge or condemn you when you happen to fail? You can't be blamed for circumstances outside your control. Your good will, good faith, and good effort are in your control. Likewise, don't blame, judge, or condemn others who fail if they had good will, acted in good faith, and put good effort into what they did. The measure you use on others will be used on you, so treat others the way you would want to be treated. Forgive and be forgiven.

[@markpatterson2517]

The Romans carried standards into battles they held high for the soldiers to see. They were poles or cross like structures with banners. Constantine had one that read 'in hoc signo vinces'. Our standard is the Cross raised high on Mt. Calvary. There we will find high virtuous standards including grace and forgiveness if we fail. The banner on it reads 'INRI'. His righteousness conquered death for us. His grace brings us alive again.

[@jillhiston4531]

Your response is excellent! Thank you!

[@catholiclife9304]

Father im struggling with this so much.its ruling my life. Please pray for me.

[@debbiefurtado9780]

Dear God. 8:51 and provide graces to fight negativity

[@mayragarciasanchez9305]

WOW! I really needed that today... Thanks 😇

[@annasalvatierra2937]

You are so needed. You are so amazing. Thank You for the great help. ❤

[@Sammy-vi3qk]

So simple, yet so profound- how do you do that?! However you do it ..thank you. 🙏

[@lorettagallagher9577]

I need to listen to this a few more times. Ty

[@christinavolkmann7895]

That's what I did...

[@AngelBien]

You are so kind ❤

[@lesborbasdeborawingell9837]

This is BRILLIANT! So much wisdom!I am going to write these points on a note in my phone and remind myself to have a look whenever I feel stuck.❤🙏👍

[@heathsavage4852]

Thank you. I beat myself up at least once a day. I really appreciated this.

[@summrrain7]

Thank you Father 🙏 please pray for me 🙏

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for your support. Praying.

[@Eternallyhopeful7788]

Very Good!!! ❤❤❤ “You are worth more than the universe, and I love you very much!!!” Received- SO Beautiful! Ditto that back to Fr. Columba Jordan from God. ❤️‍🩹🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@oleg9761]

Thanks Father. And yeah, do more video on this topic.

[@Irishherbs]

So true!

[@frankreading5110]

TOTALLY INSPIRING FATHER COLUMBA. GOD BLEESS YOU MY FRIEND x

[@christopherbright1048]

Look forwad to your posts so much thanks God Bless

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome

[@ffemto4]

I totally needed this! I would love for you to do a pt. 2 and flesh some of these out. I’ve struggled with this for nearly 50 years…….still struggle with it. One of the hardest things for me to understand is that Christ DID love me enough to die for me….. but im so unworthy and I believe all the bad about me.

[@valward8195]

You are not unworthy. God loves you for who you are. God bless you!

[@bridgetlewis9338]

Thank you Father. God bless you.

[@Mary-ui4im]

Thanks be to God! 🙏🕊️

[@perfectblueskys]

More on this topic please. Brilliant take! Very helpful.

[@christinavolkmann7895]

Absolutely!

[@editamongirdaite6006]

Sooooo god💚, thank you! 🌿

[@deniseparrott9678]

Brilliant, thank you Father (once again, I’m sure you made this video for me:) I’ve started doing an examen in the evenings but this made me realize I’m still focussing on what I don’t get right instead of the fact that I’m loved beyond my wildest dreams.

[@MajorTom546]

Thank you for this 🙏 God bless ✝️

[@colleenfrance]

Major GameChanger and so helpful Fr. you are all that and a bag of chips

[@stevensedlmayr3562]

Than you father..I am in the darkness of my soul now.Our Father used speak me thru signs and dreams. Then they stopped and my trials and tribulations started. Heavily. Heaps and the only signs were downward. Now, I was not all innocent in this, but the lack of his voice is overwhelming silence. It is more pain than I have ever had, even physical.I have been stuck in the middle of Mormons no matter where I live. They suck the soul out of me.I can feel it daily. I have thoughts like you describe. Please pray for me. When you talk to HIM ask HIM to remember or me.

[@caryntalty4014]

Try to set a prayer schedule and stick to it no matter how you feel. Tell the Lord how much you love him and that you love him for himself and not the consolations. Be steadfast and use this time to grow in knowledge and understanding. Do the Bible in a Year and the Catechism in a Year, for example. Take time to sit in silence in Eucharistic adoration. What you describe is normal. It’s totally normal to have periods of dryness. Some say it’s a test. It won’t last forever. Just remain in him anyway. And when you feel the darkness around you just pray for God’s blessing on them and for grace to come. God bless!

[@Joss-gm1wf]

Thank you Fr 🙏🏻

[@anthonyayoub6096]

Yes please to answering these thoughts! I’ve found that reading Gods word yo identify me, wipes away the lies I tell myself

[@user-is5ex9fs2n]

Grew up looking for the other shoe to drop. Been working on negativity for awhile. Constant battle. Thanks

[@cath4life42]

Father thank you so much for this video!!! What a blessing 🙏🏽. Can you do a more detailed video on mislabeling. Specially with a person that has had a conversion? Thank you.

[@kimportelli2589]

Some of those points I learned also while studying Counselling.

[@deaconmikepray9793]

That is some great advice. Thank you for letting yourself be moved to share it!

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome!

[@user-xb7bp5ri9q]

Thank you🙏

[@juliekaszubowski7523]

Very helpful! Thank you!!!

[@GuadalupeSACAL]

Thank you so much Fr. Columba ❤ this was really helpful... But please do another video on the answers to these negative questions

[@ChrisGBaker]

Thank you!

[@angelasmith861]

Fr. Columba, this is so helpful that I wonder if you might elaborate in a second video?

[@trudiswanson9855]

Hi Father Columba, I have trouble in the moment of DISCERNMENT of sin, between humility and acknowledging the fault and self criticism, which offends His Love. It's hard when up against it. Thankyou for your help. God bless you and and all there.

[@rebeccaparker1554]

Beautiful ❤

[@christinavolkmann7895]

Super helpful, thank you so much, Fr Columba! A great and much-needed reminder of how God sees me, and some really helpful tips that spoke directly into a situation I'm facing at the moment. May the Lord bless you and keep you, and everyone in this community! 🙏

[@Nicholas_1988]

Thank you for this well needed video 🙏🏽

[@terrikangas8310]

Thank you for sharing your messages, they are very helpful and God bless you and your ministry ❤

[@TheMDelima]

Scored a 10 out of 10 on this one. Hmmm. I guess I need to score a zero on this one. Thank you Fr. Columba, you've hit me hard (in a good way) again.

[@carolinaa8525]

This is Gold. I took note of all of these. Wonderful job summarizing this so well!

[@Lou-ls5se]

Cheers pal

[@jenlovesjesus]

Wow, Father. It’s as if you read my mind and made this video just for me. Thank you!❤

[@praytherosary7086]

I struggle with these because of narcissistic abuse I've experienced 😢

[@stephanielane1821]

Forgive, they themselves may have had the same experience, no one is perfect, forgiveness is setting yourself free, and Jesus told us to forgive because he has forgiven us, when we repent of our own wrongdoing we are forgiven, he told us to do the same. Love those who persecute you, because we are dealing with other people who are broken too, it may be the reason they have caused pain, because they are in pain and don't know it. May God bless you xxx

[@caryntalty4014]

And offer Masses for the one that has abused you. It will help you heal. Praying for them helps in forgiving them. When we go to confession God forgives and forgets. If you confess unforgiveness you’ll get the grace to forgive and forget.

[@user-xk4wp4nb3g]

Wow Fr Columba. I scored 9 out of 10 . I bring these negative thoughts, feelings daily to Our Lord. It’s truly a very difficult struggle. Hard to find a confessor to share this with.

[@johnplatt6484]

So helpful- thank you Father x

[@44esta44]

🌺☘💖 Excellent rundown, Father. Reminds me a bit of the cognitive behavior therapy approach. I do it all especially the all or nothing approach. Another word might be catastrophizing.Not really sure. Yes, please embellish some of those.

[@jillinthegreen2]

Thank you. God bless you too.

[@gattrep]

I would appreciate a more detailed episode

[@basilthomas1368]

Dear Fr, Thank you . ❤ You are a great help in this journey. Your videos are so valuable. Every week I wait and it has been part of my life. Thank you ❤

[@GB-xt4hc]

I can focus on a few negatives in my life, while not accepting all of the gifts and graces that the LORD gives me each day.

[@DebbieKoch]

Thank you, Father! You have great advice!

[@user-mr7xw1mr9z]

yes more im depth please

[@debbiefurtado9780]

Thank you Father.❤❤❤❤

[@b8akaratn]

I really liked this message. I still deal w/residual guilt from someone's violent suicide that was done on my b'day, and deliberately. Dunno if it'll ever go away, either, despite recent messaging from others.

[@carolynspringerholder6967]

Thank you for this. There is a lot to unpack here. I had to watch it several times. ❤

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome

[@xtremelyr4nd0m]

hey hey! it's cognitive behavioral therapy!

[@alejandrocantu4652]

My sister felt really bad, scoring 75 out of 100 on an algebra test. I told her that when you are applying for a job. The employer is not going care about your test. But if you are a good employee.

[@SaintOsburh]

Thank you

[@albertovidad7372]

Love your videos in youtube

[@Elise-nt2gc]

Could you post more videos about the falling into the loop of sin video you made 2 months ago? I really resonate with that and I really need tips of what to do to change

[@julesarteaga1701]

🙏 💙🌷🕊️

[@hazysyd]

Fr! How, practically can we accept that we are loved and accepted by God? I really struggle with this!

[@praytherosary7086]

Father, do you have any good resources for the negative thinking points you mentioned.. like books, etc.? This video was great.

[@CyprianVox333]

Stinking thinking is contagious - also spirals way too easily, which the father of lies loves. Exercise, prayer and meditation on JMJ is the only way out.

[@LONDONTEASKATE]

I never thought to ask God what he thinks of me,

[@giarose6493]

I have panic attacks a lot

[@valward8195]

Where did this man get all this Knowledge? I must find out! I might call and see you Father. Since you only live 10 mins walk from my house...😂

[@percusegura]

But what if some of these things are consistent father… for example if the procrastination is consistent. Wouldn’t that make one a procrastinator.. or what if there are patterns of behavior that lead you to conclusions on someone..

[@barbararote6632]

May I ask where your accent is from?

[@annosullivan1347]

🇮🇪💕 .

[@magorzatasanchez736]

What If nastiness is all that comes out of a certain individual? Whether you give things time, try looking at yourself, change your approach etc. It becomes clear that unless you “label” that individual and understand why they are the way they are, you’ll be in an endless circle of trouble. Please pitch in Father if you happen to see this comment.

[@lorettasehlmeyer3020]

Very helpful. Thank you!

[@ctmcatholic]

Glad it was helpful!