10 things you should NOT do when you’re dating.

[@lizzysalway6844]

1. Don’t date just one person, and don’t assume they’re only dating you.This takes the pressure off. 2. Don’t have a pessimistic attitude 3. Don’t embrace a quick feeling of familiarity. This might actually be a sign of your unconscious insecure attachment styles. This should be a yellow flag. 4. Don’t perpetually scan for red flags. Look for green flags as much as you can. 5. Don’t date from a desperate place. Are you feeling hopeful and inspired, or anxious and depressed? 6. Don’t hyper focus on what your date wants you to be. Be you and let the cards fall where they may. 7. Allow a slow build at the start, don’t see each other every day. Allow space to miss each other and build tension. 8. Don’t neglect other aspects of your life. Feel joy in lots of different ways, get replenished from a variety of different ways, find purpose in lots of different places. 9. Don’t take rejection personally. See things not working as their loss and try to take it gracefully. 10. Ask about someone’s past relationships… perhaps on 3rd date. Respect your date’s decision whether to answer and be ready to hear the answer. Ask whatever you think is important. Be ready to answer the same questions.

[@violaberaczka8441]

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[@ichomej3837]

I think most anxious attachemnt people will fail with #1 😂 speaking for myself, I cannot do that, but I will try my hardest to accept they can and should see multiple people at the beginning, and if its meant to be it will be 😊

[@wildeyedfae]

I dont have time to do that lol😂

[@mr.sushi2221]

I just broke up with my ex and this time… I’m going to actually evolve. I notice a pattern in myself. Going to simply heal right now and that means learning.

[@carrie5980]

1:19 for me, instead of taking the pressure off, it kind of activates my insecurity that they'll pick someone else over me, especially if I do feel a connection or familiarity with them. But I know they have every right to date other people early on.

[@MinaSalome]

Conceptually I agree with the advice to date more than one person at a time when you're starting out, though that didn't work for me personally. I ended up developing feelings for two people at once and it turned into a super messy love triangle, plus it got extremely time consuming for my busy schedule. On the plus side, it was still an improvement over my previous pattern of rushing into relationships way too fast.

[@rhinoskin7550]

Good to see this. It doesn't seem like a good idea to date multiple people.. Someone is going to get hurt due to it.. Thats not cool.. if someone is seeking a partner, they should take the time to do so. One at a time. I run if a woman is dating multiple ppl or I get the feeling they are dating multiple ppl.

[@natalie.natalie.natalie]

As still with an anxious and ambivalent attachment style I cannot date more than one person and it would spiral me downwards if I knew that they date others...

[@shirleyhuo9472]

i am the same

[@rhinoskin7550]

Same.. I don't play this way.

[@sydastark]

Yeah , not for me

[@Salvation123..]

Atleast I am not alone on this one..I think one person at a time, is a wise decision. If it does noy work then we part ways, and move on to the next potential. Cause how will be able to actually make a choice when you are juggling more than 3 people once " paradox of choice " ? How about time, emotions or expenses invested ? And lastly , just be mindful of hurting t other people along that process.

[@zulemasanchez1233]

We all need to except that not all people are going to like you. Not all dates will be good. Don't talk about, all your problems, secrets, relatives, past bad dates, your date's personal life or flaws you notice. Just relax and enjoy meeting a new person who might be a good friend.

[@supaguh]

I’m addicted to your content and approach!! Thanks so much for sharing can’t wait to binge more LOL

[@ぷりんぐるす-o6r]

I needed longer version of your vid than tiktok, thanks a lot

[@TherapyJeff]

No problem 😊

[@s22claudia]

Thank you so much! Can you talk how to date slowly? I've realized that my problem is that I commit sooner than I should. Thanks a lot 💜

[@TherapyJeff]

Sure thing! I'll make a video about that. Check out my TikTok because I already have some stuff on how to take it slow.

[@chramesly]

Yes! Same here. That long form vid would be awesome!

[@rhinoskin7550]

​@TherapyJeff you're awesome, Jeff! Thanks for sharing your knowledge. Is it possible to put your TikTok videos here on YT? Not a member of tiktok..

[@karengrant7894]

​@@TherapyJeffplease put it on KZbin! Longform is best, and I really don't TikTok.

[@daphnedushane4918]

#3 is brilliant! My biggest fear is entering another trauma bond.

[@annetteclark4980]

Thank you for talking to us like a good friend would. I am grateful to have found you on you tube after seeing your shorts on Facebook.

[@jenautumn214]

Hi Jeff! I went on a date with someone and we got into it really quickly. He realized it after 3 weeks and stepped on the brakes. I am not used to slowing things down but I am glad he recognized it and teaching me how to slow down after 3 weeks of 0 to 100 fairytale. He said he wants to fall in love with me organically. Is this? And is this still possible to work out? He wants it slow and steady… I am learning to be patient. Hahaha

[@soncereahawkins6934]

I feel really called out from this video!! 🤔 I met my ex husband when i was young and married until my 40's. Dating after divorce with minimal dating experience is a whole thing!

[@rhinoskin7550]

This is common. My mom, in your generation, has the same issue. Gotta really think about it tho, the older we get, the more selective we become about what we want in life.. I think a lot of young women in you generation just followed the "right" path so to speak, without a lot of personal reflection on what they may want/need at 40, 60, 80 years old.

[@rhinoskin7550]

This is a huge cultural thing that has trickled into the millennial generation.. Lots of us are working on how to build effective and lasting relationships though:) hopefully we can make it better for Z and those to come after.

[@nires1]

Great videos 🙏 love the rhythm and vibe 🤗

[@olivielivielivie]

Thank you so much aaah! I love your tiktoks, your advice is so accessible and helpful and I love that! Such good advice. ❤️

[@stephanijacob7962]

SO thankful for your channel ❤️

[@TherapyJeff]

You are so welcome!

[@ForrestMystic]

The pessimistic attitude is a self-defense, preparing for being hurt. I try to have the attitude in my head but not show it.

[@vaultsjan]

I need to find advice for those that are already in long term relationships that one wants to improve (by improving themselves).

[@preciousmousse]

I know I have other options without dating other people or being okay with them dating others. I have other options because of what I’ve got to offer.

[@richardli4038]

damn those ex questions were a straight up interrogation!! lol but very helpful

[@naraozim]

Thank you so much for this

[@Mindyourbusiness1313]

How often should I hear from someone I have been with a few good dates on?

[@Fontadlens8067]

Dating always feels like a terrible job interview i don't want to b a part of

[@ryanarchuleta3754]

I love the saved by the bell them. Not joking. I really do like it

[@rivkaholzerevents]

How does one frame their own dating history? Abusive ex, etc?

[@mariakamarianaki8109]

hey i've had a full single life and now im embracing being affectionate even from the first date after sex, intimate as in communicating my need for kisses and hugs but i've seen a lot of guys get the wrong message or feel like im too much. am i really the problem coz i can be intimate from the beggining where i obv have no feelings for them yet or are they just the wrong people for me?

[@griffinsjansley4460]

I feel sorry for everyone who believes this.

[@davidleonard37]

I can't get one date never mind dating 2 people and I'd mix up their names 😂

[@gijmoetzwijgen]

Jeff! YOU are a cutie!! ;-)

[@adaw332]

How can Number 1 be advice FROM A THERAPIST? In any case, the right advice is to LEARN HOW TO COPE with your emotions and not be too intense, not losing sight of other aspects of your life, but dating multiple people at a time, you will either end hurt or hurting the other person, ALWAYS. It's disrespectful. How do you kiss someone, and then kiss another one and another one on the following days? Let alone have sex, not disclosing it and the problems that promiscuity can bring, which can be as grave as DEATH!?!?! Excuse me, but this is terrible advice.

[@Salvation123..]

But again, why would you be kissing someone or having sex on a first or second date 😢...