11 UNEXPECTED WAYS DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY DYNAMICS AND LIES AFFECT YOU

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Check back later for the VERY active live chatbox. KZbin will make it available within 12 hours of this chat ending. ALWAYS the best part of the discussion!

[@zionrose007]

Sorry I missed the live session. Wow! This really caused a lot of youth shame concerning keeping secrets. I now see that my childhood was more of a confidant to my mom than son. Wow. Thank you!

[@Catturtlelover3000]

My parents have lied my whole life about my dad’s issues of SAing me when he got drunk. I knew it happened, yet they act like it never did. Even though I remember my mom getting mad at my dad multiple times for the issue. the whole situation is extremely manipulative and has made me question my whole reality. I’ve come to the realization that I don’t need their accountability to heal. I validate myself.

[@justice8563]

The day my sister said to me,” no one needs to know our family secrets” was the day that I realized that I was the target of all of their lies. She feared I was going to exposed who they are and that their sweet caring persona to the outside world, would be ruined. Every single one of my siblings are pathological liars and it explains why they are so easily believed. They are definitely in an alliance with each other, and why I was used as the scapegoat. I wasn’t a family member, I am just a means to get what they wanted.

[@lemondroplollipop]

I feel the same way about my family smh I repeat in my head now "remember what this person is capable of" instead of being naive and thinking the best in them never seeing the worst. I'm currently in an angry phase now lol which is good when I'm not actively so angry because i can feel my own shit now. ❤ I hope you find relief in your journey soon ❤❤❤❤❤

[@fairygurl9269]

Compassion to The Kiddos Holding Betrayal Secrets 💞

[@truth4utoda]

This was soooo good. Thank you lovely. ❤

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're so welcome! 😊

[@poohbear0320]

sorry I missed it. I really wanted to be chatting on the live with all of you. I was showering and doing something else. Please pray for me these next 13 weeks as I do a GriefShare group. It starts this Wednesday and I really don't think I am ready to do this. Yet, I know if I don't do it now I will never do it.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. :( There will be plenty more live chats coming up! Hope you have a good weekend.

[@darrylharris756]

The siblings that targeted me since a child has gotten away with so much all the way up until adulthood. But I think that the people closest to her have found her out. However there are some more truths that I know of that needs to be spoken

[@fairygurl9269]

Here's To Authentically Trusting You 💞 Never Can Know What Tommorrow Brings....

[@fifilafleur5555]

When I got cancer my dad & his wife immediately headed up to their church the next Sunday and told everyone. They did this to garner attention for themselves even though they hadn’t seen me in eleven years after they ostracized me for standing up to their abuse. My aunt & uncle, a half sister and a female cousin all wanted the gruesome details of my late stage cancer. People who had treated me horribly for years and basically left me for dead. The entire family shunned me (for more than a decade) because they were given a story about what a problematic daughter & sister I am to prevent family members from talking to me and hearing my side of things. An uncle even wanted to know what was in my bank account! My dad called the family attorney to find out what his rights to my assets were. Now that I have refused to come back and be part of the family… after all that mistreatment… I am being discussed within family and outside with family friends & acquaintances as an uncaring daughter with “issues.” I just cannot win.

[@colleenpage1265]

omgosh! this is my experience too, you get blamed for abandoning ALL of them, when really they ostracized you for whatever reason. Projecting all their negative junk onto you.

[@Shiningbrilliantly2024]

When you lie like that; you can’t remember the very first lie you ever told from the beginning!

[@chilloften]

I do omit things until I can be sure a person is cool. Like, there are levels to relating, you’re not getting it all until I’m certain.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I like that! I think that's what most people do and that's wise to be honest.

[@BAsed_AFro]

To be a liar is a lowdown, no good, rock bottom trait for a person to have.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Agree!

[@fairygurl9269]

Smiles 👸

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

😀

[@emotionalsupportpaintbrush]

My question was assuming the spouse knows, how much do you need to tell kids. Basically the line between boundaries and lies. It’s not a lie not to tell my CHILDREN about a past sexual history (but I also said assuming the husband knows). So it’s not a secret to the spouse (who has a right to know). But not disclosing EVERYTHING to children is not the same as a lie. I don’t know if that make sense but that was kinda the point ….. if someone deserves to know the info they should know (that’s why I said assuming my husband knows). But my kids don’t need to know everything….. and that doesn’t mean I’m lying. Also this wasn’t a real personal question - I was giving an example to clarify the point but I don’t think I did a good job doing it. Sorry.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I totally heard that I MISunderstood your question when I replayed this live chat. Apologies for that. I would NEVER disclose your sexual history with your children. They don't need to know. Your spouse...yes, they need to know. But there are some topics, as you know, that should be completely off the radar for our children to know. Not disclosing everything in your life to your children is not a lie. You are correct. It is omission of facts for the purpose of guarding your privacy and guarding their innocense and respect for you.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Eww I think we’re lucky to get out of these situations

[@Shiningbrilliantly2024]

Can lying be inherited from one of the parents? Making them pathological liars? What if this type is encouraged?

[@georgettegray903]

Hi

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi there! Hope you have a good weekend.

[@georgettegray903]

I am not seeing everyone comments

[@willinOkc85]

I have a story for u, also need mental clarity but have been going thru it the past couple years all my life really but really strange stuff recently. Please respond I've got an earful for u. I feel like I have been done dirty by family and mother. The only family I was ever close with were my dad and GMA which my father passed 2019 and GMA passed 2022. Both circumstances seemed off but thats not exactly what I'm questioning. Parents been divorced for years. Would appreciate for someone like you to hear me out and share your opinions and advice. Also heard about something called gangstalking a few years ago that plays into my life and want to know what and why it's been going on.. .. please help. I'll give u my contact info if needed.

[@georgettegray903]

That's sad