12 Dumb Mistakes Executors Make

[@ParadoxReport]

Thank you for this video. Five and a half years later dealing with corruption and Florida probate court. Words cannot describe how deceitful ppl become when it comes to money.

[@paultennis9414]

Benjamin Franklin said that "you never know a person till you've split an inheritance with them". And he was so right.

[@susanrichardson4354]

My fathers will and estate since 1995 has caused me so many problems it was in probate my grandmothers nothing to do with me.Useing it to steal my life not fair.My uncle bob did not do it right I did not agree.Any suggrstions

[@joycemcmurray102]

My sister was my mom executor and stole $25000.00 using the money for her personal use.

[@NaveDelAmor]

Yep! Greed takes over!

[@vernonsteinkamp1088]

Bingo.

[@ponytail911]

True. I learned about the hatred my siblings had towards me. I unfortunately own 2 properties with them now and they have totally stopped communication with me. My brother told me, “it’s 3 against one.” This has been heartbreaking.

[@Dbb27]

I’ve handled three estates. No issues with my two brothers. My mom left an insurance and an ira to two of us. We pooled the money and split it three ways. My one brother who is fairly wealthy sent me a nice gift of money when it was all over. Not all families are a problem.

[@carolynjohnson639]

As it should be

[@Dbb27]

@@Jeff-pc1zu so very sorry. It’s so sad hearing these stories.

[@joycewright5386]

One question: if your Mom left money to 2 siblings why didn’t you honor her wishes? If she wanted it three ways she would have left it to three.

[@Dbb27]

@@joycewright5386 because my mother was a narcissist. Diagnosed. None of us wanted more. Once it was our money in our accounts it was ours to do as we wished then wasn’t it? The one left out was always her scapegoat. We chose to honor him.

[@KMaddox]

@@Dbb27 You and your siblings are so fortunate to have such a wonderful relationship with one another. The three of you have wealth in love and respect. You all sound like wonderful people.

[@artmichel5572]

Absolutely outstanding information, thanks. My sister was named executor and from the beginning , I could see she was in over her head. A year later, she has had a home improvement, drives my dad's old car (not expensive), and called in a long lost second cousin to sell the house..oh, we are no longer speaking. She broke just about every rule mentioned here.

[@TheName008]

As the executor of my Mom's estate (not a huge one but I still want to do it correctly) this video has made me feel less nervous about the task. So far, I've avoided those errors and can feel confident that I'm doing this right. Thanks.

[@ProgressiveAF]

I was named as an executor to my dad's estate. The 1st thing I did was contact an estate attorney. Sure there was a $ cost to do that but having that attorney to line everything out and handle all the probate aspects made my life so much easier. It was worth the cost. I also did not charge anything as the executor. All I asked for was to be refunded for any expenses incurred.

[@christophercaetano6305]

Why do ATTORNEYS never BLAME or hold the ATTORNEY responsible for. WRONGS AND BLAME the ADMINISTRATIOR or Executors leaving LAWYERs unacceptable for BUILDING or misdirected or lax unprofessional behavior??

[@debmead8009]

@@christophercaetano6305 Good grief, are you upset at an attorney? STOP WITH ALL CAPS, RIDICULOUS!

[@baseball3106]

@ T We have a family lawyer that did my grandfathers for free. He said it was a lot of work and took months but he never took a dime. Try to find a person like that to do your estate

[@jacquelinehs87]

I'm

[@richardandre866]

@@christophercaetano6305 The executor is the legal representative appointed by the court and the one who has access to estate funds and must follow the will. Many family members have no idea what they got themselves into. The probate lawyer cannot access estate funds.

[@Burritosarebetterthantacos]

Being named executor of my Dads estate has been a nightmare, mostly because of the attorney. I now owe him a ton of money and the estate isn't anywhere near closed and its been 12 months.

[@brandinshaeffer8970]

"Congratualtions" is not the word I would use for what I'm dealing with right now as the executor of my mother's will. This is like a waking nightmare.

[@donnatravel]

What makes it a nightmare?

[@dogluvr3445]

AMEN !!!

[@speakingtruths4215]

It's "congratulations," and her estate wasn't set up properly obviously, which is the only reason why it is a "waking nightmare."

[@bsota8513]

@@donnatravel Trust me, none of my kids want this job after watching my brother screw the family and half of us not speaking now. So many stories like this.

[@dawnrobinson8243]

Exactly. I lost my father in may. He had opened and closed accounts it was a nightmare and on top of this your handling all this whilst still grieving and in shock. Terrible

[@belleooo]

Got to lay off giving Executors grief over what are silly mistakes. I am executor of my late husbands estate. The mistakes I made left my solicitor stunned. Stupid mistakes. But with grieving widow brain, extremely sleep deprived, mistakes were inevitable. Most family appointed executors are grieving people with lives in turmoil. Sympathy and empathy should always be forefront of peoples minds always .

[@patriciamichaels4393]

Wow! So feel your pain and in the same boat. I got really ill and almost died a few months after my mom died and I was in charge of the estate at that time as dad had a few strokes at that point. So I was going through major medical treatment that lasted about two years and then dad dies. I gave up my position while so sick and a grand-nephew was tasked with the job. When dad died of COVID in a Nursing Home, I had to take up the position again. I am super good at this stuff usually, but being sick I was challenged. Executer of an Estate is something you are not prepared in any way to handle.

[@marthafazzini9835]

Full time job •full time executor responsibilities

[@whodoesntluvpapas]

That's not going to happen. Everyone has issues. This video is here to HELP with the process, not excuse willing flagrant actions. We all have dead loved ones, but it doesn't mean that anyone can do whatever they want because they're sad. The law doesn't care one iota. That's a part of life, and the sooner you realize that the better.

[@richardandre866]

Our executor and also a beneficiary made no contact for 10 months and then we find out the will cannot be found. Four years later the house belonging to three beneficiaries sits unsold and vacant. Grief is real but matters do need addressed in some way with competence. The law generally allows 1 year to settle an estate and courts give more time if the executor is genuinely trying.

[@carolynjohnson639]

@@belleoooIf you are not going immediately to an attorney, I suggest KZbin. There is a voluminous amount of information, including the suggestion of engaging an attorney familiar with wills and trusts. This is not a "do what you want" situation. The documents spell out the wishes of the deceased. Do not wander from documents.

[@gogussie]

I followed my dads will to the T. A daddy knows his children well ! Turned out he was soo right! 🌟

[@Viddy-O]

How fortunate for you. I wish this was true for all. It really hurts

[@carolynjohnson639]

Not necessarily...

[@cindywatson9998]

Very good information. I fell somewhat guilty to number 8, after being named an executor. While waiting for the estate account to be opened I knew there was bills to pay, I had used the cash on hand to pay those and then took the re-imbursement from the cash and kept a detailed log of what I had done. Luckily for me, I did inform the estate attorney of what I was doing and he quickly told me to stop doing that. I needed to wait until the estate fund was opened, keep track of the bills that I was paying out of pocket and then apply that debt to the estate account. Also you need to research the debt that does come in. After the death noticed was published, I received notice from an impound yard that they had a vehicle that belonged to the estate and wanted money for holding a vehicle. They were unable to tell me where the vehicle was picked up or why they had it but was able to tell me a make a model of the vehicle. After going back through all the paperwork, I wasn't able to find a title to that vehicle. I did turn the notice of debt over to the estate attorney and that I had informed the impound lot they could do whatever they felt they needed to do as I wasn't able to confirm that vehicle had been owned by the estate. There are shady people out there that will try to take advantage of an estate.

[@Charishard]

Excellent video. my wife became an executor last month and it has been a nightmare so far with family members demanding items or updates who aren't even a beneficiary!

[@buyerbware25]

Tell those vultures that if they were not left anything, it says more about the survivors than the executrix. They have no right to harass, period.

[@richardandre866]

If they are not named in the will, too bad. They have zero claim. The executor must protect the estate and the named beneficiaries.

[@richardandre866]

And the executor is liable for any loss to beneficiaries. They give money or assets to non beneficiaries they must repace it personally if a beneficiary says hey wait a minute, where’s my $$$! Serious consequences. Allowing people with no legal knowledge to be in charge of big money that is not theirs is rife for making life changing mistakes.

[@toadhall5041]

Refer all of them to the lawyer. "Estate is being handled by XYZ law." Tell them in writing.

[@richardandre866]

Not in the will, lay off and go home. An executor has a full year to do their job without harassment. Beneficiaries filing legal action against an honest executor will likely pay their own and the executor’s legal fees.

[@theresemalmberg955]

You nailed it on communication! My parents passed away a couple of years ago and it was like pulling teeth to get information from my sister who was the executor. She provided only the information that she wanted to--there was ZERO transparency--and my other siblings went along with this: they did not want to discuss my concerns at all. Getting tax documentation for the inheritance was a nightmare. She told me that a) I did not need any documentation b) if I needed the documentation it was the estate lawyer's job to provide it (the lawyer said no, it was hers) and c) she would look into it with her tax people and get back with me but again she was pretty sure that a would be the answer. I ended up having to file without the documents that I requested and now am worried that the IRS will audit me down the road. There are several things I learned about this experience but the two things that stand out is that number one my parents were very secretive about their financial state and they shared this information with only one person who was equally secretive and also had a share in the estate. Please, please tell your viewers DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE!!! When you talk about hard feelings and ruined relationships, you are only scratching the surface here.

[@Dylmacjr]

I'm going through this right now but my mom is still alive my dad left his company to my mom and brother but me and my sister are part of the llc my brothers is the executor and he is spending all of his money buying new trucks rvs going on Hella vacations while me and my sister have nothing him and his wife are just spending all of my dads hard earned money can't even get any info of what's going on.. it's a nightmare while me and my sister are struggling

[@theresemalmberg955]

@@Dylmacjr Well, in my case what goes around comes around. Hint: It is not a good idea to piss off the one sibling who never married and has no children. They think I am poor as dirt and don't have much. They can go right on thinking that way. I have learned much from this experience and one of the things I learned was that there is a legal way to HIDE assets so that they don't go to probate. Let's just say there is going to be a very rude awakening down the road.

[@realhealing7802]

Keeping secrets cost the family soo much pain.

[@Patricksstealthvanlife]

Totally and utterly accurate. Well written. It is an arena of pure evil. If I were doing a law degree my thesis would be on this very subject and the abuse of power often perpetrated by executors and administrators. It is a total travesty that belongs in the dark ages.

[@carolynjohnson639]

@@Dylmacjr Get an attorney! Now! These were not your parents wishes He can be Maud to pay your share to you.

[@chelin7023]

I agree with communication being key to a harmonious outcome.

[@mininecessities]

I am so shocked that my brother and sister abused me when my Mom died. My brother was my best friend I had thought. Not only did my heart hurt losing my mother, I also lost my siblings. One died a month after my Mom and the other two abused me. I already owned my Mom's real property by 1/4 as it was granted to my brother and 2 of my sisters and I , years before with a life estate. But when Mom died, evil niece in law told them to change the locks and not give me key and accused me of stealing. Yes there are "sticky" fingers in the family and it wasn't me. Things started disappearing shortly after her death, things that were to go to me were gone, one sister was hiding things in her closet. It was a known family fact that the bedroom set was to go to me. I removed it from the home because I was afraid they were trying to take it from me. My brother, as executor of her personal and money assets, did not secure anything as people were going in and out of the house all the time. I made things for my Mom that was taken out of the house I had plenty of reason to try and secure what was to go to me. I was owner of the house so if my things in that house weren't being secured or kept safe by the executor what was I to do? I was never shown my Mom's checking account or $ in the bank. After my brother threw $2,000 and got me to sign that I had received everything that I expected........I fought for 7 years for part of my Mom's oiginal photos that I still do not have because when I signed the agreement he promised to bring me 1/4 of the photos and never did. I am a senior citizen and the stress has almost killed me. now that felt good I got some of it off my chest.

[@sheilascanlon4928]

Me too...am exposing them to the authorities and praying for swift justice, if there is such a thing. Your plight is so similar to mine, I feel for you dear.

[@Rena-s1j]

Going through it now. Brother took 35000 out of the trust account and they judge just said do you have the receipts. Lawyer said yes, yet me and my sister have nt seen them. Have a house on the market and the day of sale something stopped it. Buyers are homeless. Dnt know what's going on. Very nervous 😢

[@AntoinetteDennis-un8dv]

@@Rena-s1jwow praying for you . Stay strong please. 🙏🏾 Things will break through.

[@laurieinmn6468]

In WI, any estate valued over $50,000.00 has to go to probate. My sister and I are the executors of our Aunts estate. Paul, your videos are my crash course in settling the estate.

[@dandahl5964]

Found this out recently. Even though the estate was only triple the minimum we needed probate, domiciliary letters etc

[@motorlibro]

Been there, done that (for parents who passed 24 days apart) Most importatant advice? Get 10 copies of the death certificate, it's remarkable how many times you will need an official copy.

[@tombarilich4800]

So true.

[@dolliscrawford280]

All executors passed away first. Estate had less than $30,000 of assets so no executor was needed and there was no probate. This was a mess. I made decisions because siblings didn't want to. One stressed out and the other one complained everything was wrong but wouldn't discuss anything. So I kept making decisions.

[@kayBTR]

When my great aunt died years ago my mother and her sister went to the town she lived in the settle things. Their aunt’s best friend came to house and gave them a beautiful and valuable piece of jewelry that their aunt had given her not long before she died. She said she wanted the family to have it.

[@PLAZALOT58]

Speaking as someone who will be the executor of an estate in the not too distant future, this video was very informative ! You saved me from making at least one mistake and you have made me feel a bit more confident in fulfilling the role of executor ! I really like the format of your videos, valuable information straight to the point ! Thank you ! Liked and subbed !

[@nancypicchi9224]

So many “Executors” “Trustees” do not understand the complexities of their responsibilities. Keep in touch with Attorney, and CPA when working through these complicated details.

[@r8chlletters]

The more I know about this the more I appreciate that you get what you pay for. Get an estate planner and expect to fork over 5k and avoid the problems associated with all this mess.

[@makingtechsense126]

My Dad passed away suddenly in 2006 without a will. My older brother became the executor. We were unable to find any money and only a couple of vehicles, some tools, and a flatbed trailer. My brother never filed probate and kept everything. In 2012 my grandfather passed away. My mother was the sole benefactor but was terminally ill. She disclaimed the inheritance because she was on her own death-bed and was unable to handle the duties and stresses of managing an estate. This meant that my older brother became the executor of my grandfather's estate. I inherited 33% of my grandfather's estate (I have two brothers) and tried and tried and tried to help my brothers process all of the belongings but they wouldn't do anything. I'm still stuck as 33% owner on two pieces of land where I am forced to pay 33% of the taxes because my brothers won't sell it. Thankfully when my mother passed in early 2013 she had thoroughly prepared her estate after seeing the chaos caused by the poor estate planning of her parents and my father. She had given away most of her assets and left very little to her husband and a little money to each of the three children. That is the best way to plan an estate. Give it away before you die.

[@SHines-qk9qj]

@Kara Fangmeier But if your will maker is or expects to get governmental help/housing, brush up on the 5 year clause of gifting! It can make them ineligible for that help.

[@thomasprater9580]

Question? If there's more than one executor or both entitled to an executor fees?

[@WilliamMurphy-uv9pm]

Give it away before you die? And pay gift taxes on everything over a certain dollar amount? Not take advantage of the "basis" update to the date of death? I appreciate your thoughts and opinions but you need to talk to someone who knows this stuff for real. Otherwise these heirs are financially doomed.

[@Linward]

Here's a mistake to not make when writing a will. Don't list two siblings as executors if they are both beneficiaries of the estate. My alcoholic and borderline personality disordered sister argued over any and everything. She literally counted and divided nickels, dimes, and pennies, went through 3 different lawyers, and dragged the entire process out over 3 years. By the end of it I was begging the court to just give my sister the last 10 grand that was in the estate and whatever was left. I just wanted out of this never ending hell, to go on with my life, and never have to deal with her again. They didn't allow me to abdicate anything, therefore, the madness went on for as long as humanly possible. After the estate was finally closed I thought I'd seen and heard the last from her. Years later she was still sending me papers to sign and have notarized for things like a car, a boat, or whatever she inherited, but didn't have the title to. My dad's will was simple and straight forward, but she picked it apart, and found ways to make it as complicated as possible. That was 18 years ago, and I still never want anything more to do with her....ever.

[@jasonalexander845]

I'm expecting bad behavior from my bipolar, narcissistic sister after our mother dies. Fortunately for me, my parents made me the sole executor.

[@eps4560]

Borderline and narcissists leverage ANYTHING they can to drag drama out. You just wanted to wash your hands and be free. Smart! Freedom from manipulative people is priceless!

[@makingtechsense126]

I have three boys. I worry that my middle child will do this to his brothers. I need to be extra careful with my will.

[@andrewnolan180]

Linward - Excellent point. Sorry for the troubles you went through. It is bad enough loosing a loved one. You shouldn't have to deal with siblings too. When I helped my father write his will I encouraged him to select one executor and set the role for a second person as the sole decision maker in all arrangements. This way we solved the problem of splitting the executor and the fights over the funeral arrangements. It worked out well. I gave my opinion before the funeral but backed my sister 100% in whatever she decided.

[@loraieq2412]

My neighbor and her sister were beneficiaries after their mom passed. Her sister basically tripled their Lawyer's fees by contacting him every week and fighting with him over probate processes--she felt the need to question everything. The other two siblings insisted every legal expense she incurred on her own (not being the executor), should come out of her own cut, and I think they did!

[@bradleyhajost7161]

THANK you for the most essential legal advice!

[@danielleh4273]

Thanks for all the information its wonderful to see an estate attorney giving out free information

[@Dbb27]

My friends parents were wealthy and had valuable antiques, furniture, rugs and paintings. They left it that everything went to auction. If any of the siblings wanted something they had to bid on it. All proceeds went to the estate and were divided equally. No problems.

[@convincedquaker]

Love that!

[@carolynjohnson639]

Possessions equal memories. I wager the Postor is male. They do not seem to understand the emotions involved with things that one grew up with or were passed down through the generations. It is less about the money(as some are saying) and more about the comfort the possessions provide in going through the loss of loved ones.

[@Dbb27]

@@carolynjohnson639not male my dear. Would you rather have everyone fighting over everything? Any of the kids that wanted something had the opportunity to buy the items at the auction. They didn’t actually have to pay for it since they were getting the proceeds. The items were expensive antiques, not memorabilia. They used a professional auction company.

[@carolynjohnson639]

@@Dbb27 It is a problem to some. Emotions and sentimentality are attached to family possessions.

[@carolynjohnson639]

It is not the money honey.

[@charliestanford9419]

Since my father has been placed on hospice care, I will be in this position soon which is why I am already doing research. In fact I have already contacted an attorney that practices elder law in the same town where my father resides in assisted living. I realize that I have a duty to my brother, the other heir named in my father's will and want to perform the job correctly. The information in this video has been a huge help already. Thank you for providing this information.

[@exarkun8250]

I'm going through this right now. I will say this: The fact that there is no law which requires the reading of the will just complicates the whole process unnecessarily. Other siblings are left in a guessing game as to what the will says and whether or not they are beneficiaries. An executor not telling you anything could either mean you're not a beneficiary, he's being slow about the whole process, or he's deliberately withholding information because he doesn't like you. It would make things so much easier if it was a required by law for a meeting to be called, and for the will to be read to anyone who has a legitimate interest in the estate.

[@ytcarol]

Check the Register of Wills website in your state. It may be a requirement that every "person of interest" must receive a copy of the will. I'm just looking into that in Maryland, which has a great deal of printable info.

[@faerieprincessa]

I was told by my estate attorney that we needed to send each person named a copy of the will legally. I got the addresses and we sent them out right away.

[@m998hmmwv7]

My sister dumped a bag of garbage in my yard and told me to spend 100.00 and get my own copy. She's already taken all my parents jewelry and plans on taking everything.

[@southernwanderer7912]

As executor, I had copies of my mom's will for my two brothers so everyone knew who got what.

[@louisc.gasper7588]

@@m998hmmwv7 Get a lawyer. Taking goods or money from the estate might be chargeable as felony larceny.

[@nancypicchi9224]

Assigning a professional Fiduciary can prevent a lot of costly mistakes and more importantly ruined family relationships.

[@harolddoe6453]

Tangible asset solution. My mother made a list of those things (paintings, furniture, etc) sent copies to each kid and we marked as "really want" "want" and "interested". If you don't care you put nothing. We sent in the annotations and overlaps were settled. Final list went out and most distribution happened before she died as she downsized. Granted siblings have to have some trust for this to work.

[@makingtechsense126]

My mother gave away nearly everything before she died. I received a lot of things simply because my wife and are were the most stable, responsible and reliable of the siblings.

[@2Cambell]

This is a good idea and will cut down on clutter... My Mom-in-law just taped names on the bottom of everything that each person that gave it to her and kept it. This sucks!!! She passed away 8 years ago and my poor Daddy in law and husband's family won't thin down the clutter. He gives 2 shits about any of it, but he scared to do anything with it for fear of offending someone. It's all just ridiculous. So guess who gets to deal with it in the end? Who knows?

[@BillPalmer]

I think a lot is going to depend on the state that the estate is in. I was an executor for an estate in Colorado and the state provided all the forms and directions necessary to perform the non-probate duties. Part of the estate involved property in Idaho - whoa, what a different picture. Idaho provides no forms, and when I called the county clerk they would provide no assistance whatsoever. “I can’t give legal advice” apparently includes not giving any useful information either. Much of their legal language was written like it came out of the 1780s (which it well may have). I ended up having to hire a lawyer who took months to write a one paragraph deed transfer and cost over $1000.

[@carolynjohnson639]

That does not seem exorbitant for attorney expertise.

[@r8chlletters]

Only 1000? You got off lightly.

[@shawndavis7862]

Thank you. I have been a bit nervous about being named the executor, that I simply would not have the knowledge. You have confirmed that fairness and a lack of self justification will keep me out of most trouble. I know my folks taught us practical financial practices. And after seeing their families have life changing fights over monetarily inconsequential mementos, they have everything explicitly detailed in the directives.

[@Patricksstealthvanlife]

So glad i listened to this. Going through this process as a beneficiary has got to be one of the worst experiences of my life. It has destroyed my relationship with my sister, the Administrator. It has left me bitter and enraged. And after nearly 2 years is still not finalised. The lies , deception and spitefulness has been like a form of cancer to my spirit. This area of law need serious over hauling. It's an exexpected tragedy that follows a tragedy . Thank you for the video. Was good to see I'm not alone.

[@tanis420]

I'm just now finding out my brother, the executor, never filed the trust with a lawyer or courts and is saying he was sole beneficiary when he was not. He had dad sign something before his death so he could sell everything and he pocketed most and told me my portion was less than half of the estate but now saying he was sole heir and claiming there was not a trust at all. I'm floored he has done this and thinks he will get away with this.

[@Patricksstealthvanlife]

@@tanis420 Karen I totally feel your pain. As financially painful as it is , get yourself a good lawyer. One that agrees to payment upon settlement. And legally crucify your brother for this despicable act. My sister armed with her husband claimed I owed my late father money when i certainly did not . Fortunately I had my own lawyer to put them right. It would have been a nightmare had I not. I liked to think I had a good friendship with her before this. Sadly, hand on heart, she is now a stranger I not longer want to be near. The rules of deceased estates need serious looking at. It's a quagmire of woe. Who ever said " money is the root of all evil " was probably a beneficiary too !! 🤔😉 Be strong 💪 Karen. Many many have travelled this path. Your not alone. 🙏

[@alz123alz]

I AGREE WITH YOU , THE PROBATE REQUIREMENT LAWS NEED A SERIOUS OVERHAULING. RELATIVES THAT HAVE HAD O TO DO ON CARETAKING A LOVEONE FOR YEARS SHOULD NOT AVE EQUAL BENEFITSTO THE OONE THAT HAVE MADE ALL THE SACRIFI

[@Patricksstealthvanlife]

@@alz123alz my other sister had nothing to do with my dying father and never attended his funeral. But boy did she have her begging tray out for his money. She was a nurse !! 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😪

[@pameladobrick508]

Good afternoon. I just want to thank you for taking time to put this series of estate videos online. My brother passed away last October and had sizeable assets. I'm a paralegal and Im having a consult w probate lawyer tomorrow. I am interested in being appointed personal representative, so I'd like to present my info in a logical, informative manner in this meeting. Thank you thank you.

[@nammyohorengekyo1111]

What about when the heirs become abusive? I was the executor of my mother’s estate and experienced the worst kind of behavior from some of my siblings; to awful to explain in a comment. I completely understand the need to communicate, but that becomes very, very difficult when the heirs are literally harassing you beyond the normal need to know. There is a big difference. No executor who is following the correct procedures and laws of their state and is fulfilling all that is required as a fiduciary should have to accept being harassed and abused under any circumstances. Being an executor does not mean having to be a doormat.

[@wiseowl2020]

You were lucky. When my paternal grandfather died my father was the executor and my Mom the co-executor. My three aunts hired a lawyer who filed discovery after discovery hoping to find money that didn't exist. My parents were dragged through probate for 10 years before it was over. Do your heirs a favor: set up a living trust. There's no probate and everything has to be done in 90 days.

[@annamelanie5151]

The sad reality is that a person’s death very often results in family feuds, permanent splits, extremely hard feelings, and that’s when all is done legally and morally. As executor I had to deal with cleaning out a house 200 miles from me, scared that my mentally unbalanced sister was going to sneak in and either destroy things or camp out inside. I took some abuse and had to develop a thick skin…the fact that she got less money than her brother ( mom’s plan, not mine) made it hell. I didn’t exhale until the estate was closed out.

[@nammyohorengekyo1111]

@@annamelanie5151 I’m sorry you had to go through that. Sadly I feel your pain. I doubt I will ever speak to any of my brothers again. In reality, no great loss. My mother’s estate will be closed any day now, hopefully that is. I’m looking forward to that exhale.

[@SilverPonyKat]

My father was the abusive one and now my brother is carrying that torch. I was written out of the Will/Inheritance when I moved out of state. I'm fine with that. It's simply Good riddance of their bad behavior. I'm not angry at either of them. Disgusted by their behavior? Absolutely, but I have chosen to rise above it and be the better person. Good, bad or otherwise, I just hope both of them get everything they truly deserve. Karma's only a bitch when You are.

[@carolynjohnson639]

@@nammyohorengekyo1111 but it does mean the executor must communicate and supply documentation that is legally required. Bank balaces with bank statements. Bill amounts with copies of the bill. The other beneficiarie should not just take your word. They are legally entitled to documentation. Not everyone is honest. Providing complete paperwork alleviates suspicion.

[@danadnauseam]

In the first large estate I handled, one of the devisees was a large charity. I had a headache explaining to their lawyer that in my state, I couldn't authorize a partial distribution without a court order. Unfortunately, two of the other devisees were college students who took forever to respond to requests to sign off on documents.

[@TheRm65]

If a person knows that he/she is dying it might make a lot more sense for him/her to distribute the assets before death, to the extent possible.

[@davidstoyanoff]

Tax reasons can dictate whether a property should pass by death or lifetime gift.

[@sparksandchips]

Great video, as my dad executor this is a big help, in addition to the list of mistakes could you share a checklist for executors?

[@carolynjohnson639]

@@sparksandchips KZbin has information, but I think engaging and attorney with wills and trust experience is wise. The expense is not unreasonable. But, only you know what is reasonable for you.

[@robertsmith-cj6gl]

One of my brothers became the executor of my dad's estate. When the rest of my brothers and sisters found out that there was nothing more than bills that had to get paid and no money to be inherited they all scattered. So my brother and I paid all the dad's bills but the rest of the brothers and sisters and family members just tuck tail and ran away. It's amazing to find out how many of your family members are really nothing more than vultures

[@user-km7wi8sp5t]

I am unsure why you paid bills not your own. If the estate had no money the creditors can pound sand.

[@Dbb27]

You had no obligation to pay your father’s bills personally. Unless you signed as guarantor.

[@carolynjohnson639]

Not sure the bills had to be paid if there was no money in the estate. Did you speak with an attorney?

[@siangriffiths1780]

Thank you so much for this. I particularly appreciate your non-judgemental approach.

[@saimaanisshaikh7487]

I live in Toronto, Ontario. Canada I have learned alot from some of your videos I have watched. I shared them on Facebook and with family members and friends to encourage them into making correct, responsible decisions following some of your general advice. Specifics may vary from to State to State, province to province, and more.

[@sallyrucker8990]

I just watched almost everything you mentioned happen. So true. An executor was assigned. The family took over dividing things before a probate was even opened. Now my boyfriends Mother’s ashes are all over the Country and the Catholic Church won’t allow her to be interred. What a mess.

[@rondaramirez1335]

My father named me the executor. I started looking into my father's finances to organize his accounts.My brother has taken out more than 180,000 in loans in my father's name.😳 ...wait it gets worse; he still expects a share of my father's estate....the estate is negative 40,000! So sad my mom's home she worked so hard for will probably go to the debitors.😔....it still gets worse...there are children outside the marriage!🤦‍♂️

[@Bobrogers99]

When my late great-uncle died, it was six months before the will was revealed and my sister and I learned that we were two of the four residual legatees. The executor and the lawyer were lodge buddies, and in the six-month hiatus a lot of stuff disappeared from the house. We couldn't prove where it went, so we had to let it drop.

[@makingtechsense126]

So disgusting. When my mother was on her death bed one of her friends kept trying to lay claim to her stuff. It was absolutely disgusting.

[@ModernMountainLiving]

My Dad died Sunday, estranged daughter and kids cleaned out house by Tuesday Morning. She and I haven't spoken in 6 years, she defrauded my Dad on a car and a $10,000 loan. Other than 2 pastors, an uncle that all say she is incoherent we had 2 text. I will clean up the mess but I don't reward bad behavior and law enforcement say "won't pursue".

[@anthonyandruzzi827]

I just became executor and I am going through the motions right now. Great video! however, I severely disagree with #9. If you only use friends and don't retain an attorney then you're a fool! But friends that have experience with being an executor are an excellent source of FREE advice. They can share stories and pitfalls and give invaluable suggestions.

[@annamelanie5151]

Until I became an executor, I had no idea that you could designate beneficiaries and create “transferable upon death” bank accounts, thereby freeing up those funds quickly to the beneficiaries,, avoiding probate. I had a terminally ill friend who I told this “secret” to. She thanked me profusely when she finished designating her adult son as her bank account beneficiary. She knew she wasn’t going to leave much but had peace of mind knowing her son was going to avoid the expense and hassle of probate.

[@rd468magnum]

Wrong dude.get an attorney.not a lawyer,it is better correct than wrong several times from possibly bad friends with little or no expeience,and that if there are any mistakes.proboly not likely.then your not liable or lose any of the estates funds,because of your mistakes, if any.do you want to be liable, because of a friends advice.?seriously think about it.i got a story im looking to tell an attorney.and I'm not a friend nor attorney.and I'm telling you as a beneficiary with one older sibling thats the executor.you need a attorney.because when they or I do find one,.you won't want to on that end of the state of arizona when they track him down in Colorado.

[@rd468magnum]

@@annamelanie5151 i love how sonebpeople make things sound oh so sweet one week or another but there are some that read this and say Holly shit...how stupid can the deceased have been to allow one to screw everyone else because that is what it sounds like.

[@KGshowfan]

I'm helping a friend right now, her mom passed last month, but the first thing I said to her was contact the estate lawyer. The 2nd, follow the lawyer's advice/instructions/suggestions. I share my experience (my mom passed last year), took notes at her 1st meeting with the lawyer and offer support. Her sister has issues and is being difficult to work with, her twin brother is mellow and trusts her. Families can make things harder than they should be sometimes.

[@madriver50]

some of the best advice I got was from a smart friend that lost his last parent the year before

[@nyanates]

Recently appointed PR/Executor here for my (recently deceased) dad’s estate in Florida. One thing I’d add is that before ANYONE accepts someone’s executor request would be to ensure there will be provisions made upfront to pay for everything during probate. A scenario where all assets are ToD and there’s no trust set up could leave the estate insolvent and the executor personally responsible to cover the debts. A forgotten RMD, significant medical bills, income taxes, limited pension distributions, difficult beneficiaries and understaffed probate judge positions can quickly eat into your pockets and likely extend the probate process through compensation litigation. Yep, a fun Pirates Of The Caribbean adventure romp this will not be.

[@dngriffiths8105]

Thanks for these. I have a 13th mistake to add... An executor who essentially does nothing...for years (nearly four years and counting). He is the oldest of four siblings. In this time, a house sits empty (never a good thing) even as it drains the estate's limited funds for maintenance, insurance, utilities and taxes. Atrocious, yet there seems no practical fix. How do you fire an executor?

[@mattym8]

Call a lawyer who handles estates.

[@Tassie5050]

7:51 -9:10 Communication with the heirs 9:11-9:53 probate and non probate assets- 401k/IRA beneficiaries do not require probate!

[@dtom1145]

A Trust is the only way to go. Depending on your situation either a Revocable Living Trust or Irrevocable Living Trust is the best option for many people.

[@hecosean]

While I wholeheartedly agree. It doesn’t take away a lot of the issues if you don’t choose a good trustee. In some cases can make it worse as you would want the court to manage things fairly. A bad trustee can get away with malfeasance much easier. Make sure all beneficiaries have a copy of the trust.

[@grod1360]

My mistakes. 1) reading the trust all the way through word for word. I was in hell at my loss and just glanced over it. 2) trusting family when they were there for themselves and not for me.

[@JamesSpruill-dx1tt]

Thanks for stating the Facts.

[@lisapender1751]

My dad passed away in Roane County. Tn in 2015 and my sister who was named Executor will not give me any updates, Has given some of his tangible assets to 4 of the other heirs leaving me and my little sister(We are in our 50's) with no information what so ever. I even hired an attorney to compel her to place the property in all of our names. The" Will" called for a trust for my disabled little sister and still nothing has been done and it is now 2022. The Executor has not paid the taxes for the previous months before the property was transferred. I wonder what can be done? This is a mess!!! Can I sue her for my costs?

[@convincedquaker]

My parents named my brother and me as co-executors. After they passed, my brother had me sign off, making him the sole executor. He handled everything, but won't show me any of the accounting, financials, tax returns, etc. It's destroyed our relationship. Heartbreaking. Lesson learned. My will leaves everything to my nephew (sole executor) and niece with a clear statement that they EACH get copies of ALL paperwork. "Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants." - Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, Louis Brandeis

[@carolynjohnson639]

You can hire attorney and petition the court.

[@carolynjohnson639]

@@convincedquaker You are entitled to the information. Suggest an attorney to guide you through challenge process.

[@leonb2637]

Some states (like in NJ) have specific requirements to notify by mail (preferably Certified) all benefices of a will/estate and the right to be provided a copy of a will shortly after filing for probate (in NJ it is 30 days). Make sure to process any life insurance and IRA claims ASAP to assure designated benefices get paid promptly. It can save a lot of hassle later. Keep detailed financial records. Do set up an estate account as soon as possible after getting the letters from the court granting designation of executors of filing for probate and a Federal tax ID number from the IRS (can do online). Some states, counties (in NJ) may give you a pamphlet of guidance for executors when file a will for probate.

[@Satchmoeddie]

The executor of my aunt & uncle's estate, specifically said, "The heirs a were not properly represented, so we refuse to cooperate". They thought they were heirs, but legally they were the backup executors. The only thing they needed to do was sign their name, when my aunt was deemed incompetent to sign off on the estate. Instead they ask, "When can we move into her house?". They can't! That did not stop them from filing a wild deed on her home and business and moving in anyway. What sane person lists the guy who mows her lawn as an executor? When we hired a lawyer, their lawyer's father (another lawyer) filed a false claim against me for social security fraud in another state, and the other heir had his house shot up. Their lawyer is also on digital audio robbing me of another audio tape, which he destroyed (spoliation).

[@RWAfuture]

Today it's not about return ON capital. Today it is about return OF capital.

[@marksminis]

"Trust" calls into my mind Mistrust. My sister convinced my dad "hey, he doesn't need to be in the Trust, just me!" so they secretly cut me out, but I found out about it, as my mom had dementia and couldn't keep a secret. It put me in a very awkward situation, which resulted in total family breakup. My sister packed them all up, sold the house for 1.7M, pocketed that, and shipped all over to Texas where my mom and other sister quickly died. I was powerless even though she was a poor Executor. Fuck Trusts.

[@mmc9828]

We have no family to speak of and are estranged from our one son. Our Will is written so that our son gets everything; which is quite a substantial estate. We have made the decision to amend our Will so that everything goes to a charity. Now we just need to figure out which charity. The ASPCA would be my first choice but we need to research others. Removing our son from our Will was a difficult decision to make and we kept hoping he would reach out. But you can only take so much hurt for so long.

[@coolpix807]

Great video. I did not hear anything about what happens when someone removes an estate asset such as a car? Can the executor get the asset back? And how do you find a good probate attorney who doesn’t bleed the estate dry with monthly attorney fees? I am executor of my late mom’s estate. The lawyer I currently have is useless, and he is a probate attorney.

[@randyeverson8296]

I recently became executor. Thank you so much for this video. It filled me in on a lot more than just the mistakes with what you included.

[@tonykelpie]

Preparation is key. Organise your assets, ensure your will is clear and based on equitable principles, and that your beneficiaries understand those principles. Have clear equitable principles for distribution of assets whilst still alive. Plan ahead to minimise taxes due after death. If you fail to prepare, you leave your beneficiaries with a mess to sort out.

[@jackb1803]

Also, it is not a bad idea to share your will and trust documents with named beneficiaries before you pass away.

[@johnswicegood7000]

I never wanted to be executor of my uncles estate, but after waiting nearly six years, I am going to court next month to have the current executor removed and to have a judge name me the new one.

[@jomoney465]

this video was very helpful to me, as I am executor of my father's estate. Lots of work involved and I hope I am never appointed as administrator over an estate with no will, which I am understanding would come with no fee ? This is a lot of work, if there is anything in the estate, the person that is handling all of this should be the first one paid.

[@HeyMJ.]

Excellent series! Thank you for providing critical estate planning information! 👍🏼

[@davidwalker2781]

"Transfer On Death" / "Payable On Death" registrations on most all financial accounts and instruments will Avoid A TON of headaches and mistakes. (In Virginia, even DEEDS can be done with "Transfer On Death" on the home / homes in Va..

[@gbinman]

I am the independent executor for my stepson's estate in Texas. As you suggested he passed away with some credit card balances and an unpaid medical bill from 2019 that I guess he was ignoring. I hired an attorney. She told me not to pay the debts... especially before the probate hearing (took 3 months) to validate the will. She told me about permissive notifications and said that they would have to prove their debts as I had no ability to know if their claims were valid. She sent them all permissive notifications in October. There's a 120 day requirement to file a claim that has to be served as described in the notice. None filed within the 120 days. I am told the debts are now barred.

[@gbinman]

To be more specific, I paid less than 2k in attorney fees, but 19k of debt went away because the debtors didn't file for it. I was executor and sole beneficiary. Without the advice, I would have paid out the 19k as the estate had plenty of money. Can you say Bonanza?

[@RoeVenturesLLC]

No one has mentioned if deceased has a home equity line of credit that’s owed and if that’s forgiven

[@gbinman]

@@RoeVenturesLLC If that was at me, my stepson's home was paid off as was his Yukon.

[@KerryEriksson]

My brother is executor of my mom’s estate and Without the guidance of the lawyer he hired he would of been lost.I am an heir and the lawyer keeps in touch with both of us weekly through emails

[@87aokeefe]

Thank you for the video. Great information that I hadn't even thought of.

[@AlumniQuad]

Suggested video: Typical timeframes for each step in the probate process. I'm on week four after contacting an estate law firm Monday, January 18. The attorney who took the case claimed "two weeks" to file the initial petition with Surrogate's Court. First week was radio silence. It took them two weeks to send the "Waiver of Process; Consent to Probate" letters to heirs. Signed and notarized responses should all have arrived back at their firm midweek last week. No indication that they've filed anything in a case that seems routine to me. Bills are piling up, taxes need to get started, large check issued in November needs depositing, etc., etc. They seem to be on track to reinforcing every negative stereotype about lawyers.

[@patriciamiddleton9691]

Cute plus sweet equals a delete to make the give

[@kjschrum]

You can always fire them...

[@glasshalffull8625]

Give them deadlines in writing and like the previous poster said, “You can always fire them.”

[@MrEricanthony]

You should be able to pay taxes and bills immediately. You don’t need them for that. Especially if they are laggers...

[@AlumniQuad]

@@MrEricanthony False. Each account is locked immediately upon reporting the decedent's death. I could have paid out of my own accounts as executor, but if the estate were to prove insolvent, I'd have no way to reimburse myself, effectively making those payments donations to the estate.

[@Anonymous99997]

My father was a Trust Officer for a large bank. He did two things that avoided major issues: He avoided probate by setting up trusts for everything to go into to be distributed to my brother and I, and he set the Bank as Executor.

[@Crazyreseller]

As the bank takes major fees for their service out of you and your brother’s portion which could add up to a large sum .

[@Anonymous99997]

@@Crazyreseller It’s the price to pay for 1) everything to be done correctly, and 2) family peace.

[@annawimpey5307]

My brother and I are the executors and the beneficiaries of our family trust. We will be consulting with our attorney before we make any decisions. We are not lawyers. Why do we leave important legal business to people who have no idea what to do? Must be cultural.

[@freddykrueger8759]

Thanks for the video , yes folks make out a living trust..and tell your loves one's what you want done🥰🕉

[@lindasensabaugh4013]

I have been agonizing over who to name a executor. 3 kids. 9 grandkids. I saw this crazy when my mother passed. I am seriously considering naming my financial advisor to this job. I do not want one kid to get more then the others. The estate is large. 10% could be as big 500k

[@gojohngo106]

Are you, uh, currently looking for a boyfriend? Lol

[@carolcielle]

​@@gojohngo106😂😂😂

[@jimtastic688]

Name all three kids to be co-executors. My sister and I were both executors of my mother's estate, it worked out easily.

[@carloslargaespada6051]

Hey Paul I was appointed executor for my parents and after they died my sister and her husband broke into their house and ransacked thier home took what air looms were worth money to them. Unfortunately ihad to deal with thier threats and so did my probate lawyers. I sold the house and paid all my parent's debts and now I've been submitting all the monthly bank statements to my lawyers. Unfortunately this mess took a turn when my sister suddenly passed and a detective contacted me saying he was trying to press charges on my sister's husband for domestic violence. So now after the DA couldn't prove any fault on her husband they let him go and he's nowhere to be found! So now I'm wondering if I could donate my sister's half to charity. My question is what can I do so this fella doesn't recieve any money. Yes they were married for 5 years with no children. I really don't want to hand him my sister's half. Can I do anything?

[@carolynjohnson639]

Shouldn't you check her will? She may not have left him anything, including her inheritance from your Dad. And did your dad's will pass sister's inheritance to husband or any children?

[@richj1134]

This gentleman has awesome videos. Clear, concise and well presented. Many thanks for all the advice.

[@zoemurillo6838]

Would love to see a video on the nuances of Life Estates and how rules may differ in other states

[@LadyLithias]

We're facing a probate nightmare, because my hubby's sister was the executor, and she inherited mom's property in Estes Park CO. Hubby inherited a townhouse in Florida. Fast forward to January, three years AFTER his mom passed away, and he goes to sell the townhouse, and finds that sister, and her lawyer, did Probate on the property totally wrong. He did *her* property fine, but messed up the probate on the Florida property. So hubby found a buyer, and the title company said "There's a problem, you don't properly own this property, probate was done wrong. So now hubby has to hire a lawyer and get it done right. I say that since she was executor, and since she had a lawyer who was supposed to do this, so he needs to fix it (pay for it)

[@sharonbarton1888]

Please do not call your husband"hubby"

[@LadyLithias]

@@sharonbarton1888 Why exactly shouldn't I call him "Hubby"? i'm curious. Do you knolw him? Has he told you he hates it? On my phone he's my "Honey Bunny". But in 20 years of marriage, he's never complained. Seriously, a little bit of context might help. If I just said "Dave" you wouldn't know who I was talking about. If I took the time to type out "My husband" that takes more time. Spouse takes less time, but doesn't rhyme with Honey Bunny. (ish) Just curious how/why that's problematic? I've literally never had a single person suggest this, so I'd like to know why.

[@davidgraham-parker]

I love your videos. They are always filled with excellent, useable information.

[@americasestateplanninglawy1946]

Thank you very much!

[@mrth1702]

This information is most appreciated. Thank you.

[@christorrance2876]

Thank you so much for the 12 tips. Very thought provoking and helpful. I'm going to type out the list and use it as I start on my Uncle's Arizona Estate.

[@RogueBurn]

UPDATE: Court was yesterday 10/06/21 for motion for accounting. My attorney was fantastic. He mentioned most of the points that we discussed. The other attorney made a hint to take up action against me for not seeking employment and housing (during a pandemic). Also saying that I did not take care of my aunt for the five years that I did. Which is ridiculous, because anytime she had to go into the hospital or nursing home for therapy my name and signature is on those papers. So, I have to print out al the job searches I have, luckily I had saved all respondents from job searches. We're shooting for 4 to 6 weeks to reconvene.

[@christophercaetano6305]

SEEMS ATTORNEYS like to present lies about a ADMINISTRATOR s conduct and had in false clams so the ATTORNEYS can pad the bill at the expense of the ESTATE AND all heirs and it's considered o.k BECAUSE they ALL R MAKING piles of MONEY witch is not RIGHT but a niece person will take the ATTORNEYS word as Gods word and go ALONG with them not realizing they are being used in the rigged game called PROBATE COURT!!

[@jasminemiller4636]

Thank you. My aunt is the executor and my brother is contingent executor of my mom's estate. Neither wants to probate. What can I do as a beneficiary?

[@timothykeith1367]

I would like to know what you do

[@sarahm9764]

OMG my mom's estate is under siege from the so-called executor. She has broken every one of these rules. We are in a suit right now. It is ugly and people are very greedy.

[@TrustVictims]

Mistake one is not hiring Trusted Advisors and Allied Legal Professional Trust and Will Guardians to mentor grantors, monitor trustees and referee grantees during a NICER Prebate/Probate Nickel and Dime solution to crime and Litigation Quarter.

[@ChristinaHolly]

Question: a beneficiary was given funds before the ssn was obtained. How does the executor get the ssn if the beneficiary refuses to provide?

[@kathyhulsey30]

Thank you soooo much for these videos, it has helped me immensely. I really didn’t know what direction to turn or what to do in the invent of my father’s passing.

[@richmel6245]

Hi, I have enjoyed watching and learning, from your video's. It looks like my time as the Executor is coming to a close...hopefully..my lawyer put my middle name down wrong...I told him for two years it was wrong...now it's holding up everything. Fingers crossed and thanks

[@blueskiesforever114]

May I ask a question? My sister & I are trustees, and she is POA. My mother had a trust in this trust and my sister & I were to have the Testamentary. ( 2 trust in one). However, my mother is extremely controlling . I spoke to the lawyer who drew it up, who said it needed to be disbursed. She refused. Now ( being a hoarder) she has spent the entire trust including the testamentary with arrogance. Next my grandmother intended my sister to inherit her family farm. She passed before going to a lawyer, so it stayed in limbo 25 years .. Now that my mother has spent everything she sneaked behind our backs and put in her name! There’s nothing left for us now. Is there any way we can transfer the farm out of her name name, before she spends it? She has no control what so ever of her spending.. it’s been hell .

[@chuck5898]

My older brother was executor of my mother’s estate and not only did he procrastinate, he never provided one update to me and my younger brother about the status. I had to contact the attorney and vent my frustration with the progress. It took 2 1/2 years and I no longer speak to him. I never realized what a passive aggressive control freak he is.

[@momoflogan]

I am my grandmother's executor of her will and estate. The problem I am facing is her son (unfortunately, my uncle) who is the next of kin. He has went and caused property damage, including placing jb weld into the keyhole locks. The police, including the clu ty prosecutor has told me unfortunately there is nothing I can do to keep him off of the property legally until the house is transferred( she has also left me her house and everything in it) -he was not very kind to her at all while she was living and now that she is dead he has refused to honor her final wishes. I am told a civil lawyer is needed but none can seem to assist until after the fact. Things are getting ridiculous and I do not know what to do at this point. Help?!

[@victorvillagran4976]

Great information! Communicated very well too. Thank you!

[@Beachbumartist]

Great video, thank you.

[@angerrae_]

What about a executor removing things out of the house before the will is turned into probate?

[@fearlesscaper]

Number 6 is exactly correct.

[@snowyowl6892]

Surely the first thing is to give all interested parties (recipients or not) a copy of the Will. Yes ?

[@janetadams6670]

Yes it is absolutely right, but even the. Surely sometimes you will have arguments x

[@caileighgouthro1365]

That would be helpful I’d think if everyone did this there would be less confusion over who is doing what.

[@dorindacunningham9452]

My Mom just passed I asked my sister, who a greedy .... I asked her for a copy of the Will , she told me I was stirring up trouble. This is not gonna be fun

[@SHines-qk9qj]

@@dorindacunningham9452 I feel for you. I found out my sister is financial power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and executor, as well as co-owner on a $10k checking account. Luckily my mom is still here. Despite going to an attorney originally, mom didn't understand the difference between POA and executor, and didn't realize being a signer on the bank account would have been adequate (and that both of us should be signers). She thought things were set up to divide fairly, but whoever advised her (or railroaded her, as my sister was involved in all these decisions) in the setup did not make that equal division likely. Mom was upset that this setup would not fulfill her (and dad's) wishes. She is trying to get things set right. She will see an attorney in the original firm (the original attorney died). My sister is plenty mad at the questions I've brought up! I am also setting up my arrangement for my kids and hoping to divide the "power" so one can't try to deceive the others. Seems a tricky business!

[@366783]

Makes no difference to myopic selfish greedy people because they can contest it even though the have a copy and delay with costly legal ping pong letter writing.

[@dtrout]

Really helpful information. I am going through the process in 2021 and forward with my parents estate. The Trust was created and signed approximately 20 years ago and instructs that liquid assets or funds from sale of tangible assets should be deposited into the trust. However, there is a life insurance policy that is much older and it states the 3 oldest children should all get equal shares of the life insurance policy. I am excluded because I was not born when the policy was created and apparently my dad never thought to revise the beneficiary information. Do the instructions in the Trust supersede the life insurance policy? The family church and local university are also beneficiaries of the Trust. Basically there are four siblings and the church and university will split a fifth of the estate.....or 10 pct each. I’m not sure if the insurance company will accept the instructions in the Trust .... they seem to be laser focused on the beneficiary information in their computer system.

[@pettytoni1955]

No trust or will directives can supersede the life insurance beneficiary designation. I can't tell you how many times I've seen an ex-spouse get this money, even with a current spouse and kids.

[@2Cambell]

This is sadly relevant right now. One of my brothers is Executor and financial POA (which never had to happen), while I was medical POA (which did happen, but brothers were there) and my oldest brother didn't feel comfortable with either. Executor brother is never in a hurry, he was born 2 weeks late, according to Mom. However, the home has to be maintained, the cars taken care of and insured and the expenses are coming off the bottom line of the estate. We all agreed to wait on a specific date to allow everyone to be ready to deal with it. We are long past that date and are now looking at his upcoming wedding. So, obviously, I will wait until 1 month and 1 week after his wedding before taking all 5ft. of myself on a road trip to his house to remind him of his responsibilities. I did laugh about assessment of belongings. Mom wasn't a big fan of jewelry, she and Daddy liked things simple. But the family jewelry will go to me and then it will go to my nieces anyway, because I don't have any kiddos. One brother wants furniture and the other wants a mish-mash of things that made us laugh 😅. It's all equal. Mom already made us take the guns and tools. The one thing that wasn't touched on here was that sometimes people can't really begin to deal with their grief if all of the final affairs have not been taken care of. Some people hold themselves together to deal with everything and only when everything is done, can they just shut everything out and grieve.

[@makingtechsense126]

My older brother was executor of my father's and my grandfather's estates. He didn't do anything and had to be forced to take action. He had a terrible time handling the grief and just couldn't function. Parents definitely need to identify which children are the strongest emotionally and mentally, as well as which children are responsible, and give them the role of executor. I have three sons and my youngest will be the executor. My oldest is autistic and my middle son is a borderline narcissist. Neither of them would be able to handle my estate.

[@2Cambell]

@@makingtechsense126That is really a tough situation, nobody wants to force family into doing something, unless they have to. I'm disappointed that your choice is obvious when choosing between three children. On the other hand, it definitely simplifies things. It wasn't that way for us. Other than my oldest brother not being comfortable in either of those roles, we were all capable and decided with Mom, as a family, who would do what. The choices weren't necessarily wrong at the time. But I do think grief has also increased my brother's natural propensity for delaying things and being late. Fortunately, I have dealt with my brothers for many years without needing law enforcement or legal assistance, so I believe that a simple "come to the truth" meeting about him being a slacker and how him not closing this out has left the rest of us not able to process our grief. I mean, how can I? When I live the closest and have to check on our childhood home every few days to get the mail, make sure it's okay and all of that...

[@makingtechsense126]

@@2Cambell - Dealing with siblings when handling an estate is tough. My older brother was the executor but my younger brother lived next door to the property. My younger brother has been just as frustrating as my older brother. My younger brother demanded that we have the county re-draw the property lines so that his septic field could be separated from my grandfather's land. Then he moved into my grandfather's house without permission, and promised that he would remodel it in five months, then get it ready to sell. After two years of not paying any rent and not remodeling the house, he bought me out, BUT he did not buy the two adjacent, land-locked lots, and refused to allow us to setup access easements. Now he is in the middle of a bitter divorce, the house is going into foreclosure, and I am stuck paying taxes on two lots that I have no access to.

[@2Cambell]

@@makingtechsense126 Ugh! At least where I'm at, the county would force the issue with access. It's not an instant process, but it is reliably successful. Think about what would happen if you put utilities on the land? This being if you aren't rural, of course. That's a whole other issue. But they still have to get power lines to your property, either way. Hmm, seems like a road to me. Not sure what your attorney has suggested as far as the foreclosure, but most of the lenders just want their money and may not realize the level of crap that they will have to deal with in this situation. Eviction of your brother, damages and all of that. They might possibly, a small possibility, let the probate go through and allow the sale, thus paying them off. It never hurts to look into it. I worked for one of the major banks that does a lot of mortgages. I would see some strange, but good things happen from time to time based on if someone just asked and got the right person on the phone. Things are so random sometimes. Sort of like the song two out of three ain't bad. Except that you have mentioned five male family members in your life. You have the son that you will make executor and another that has some needs, the others are entitled, selfish or require a butt-kicking. So, the title would be two out of five ain't bad. 😉 You are in my thoughts and I hope that everything gers resolved for you soon!!!

[@carolynjohnson639]

So on point. The resolution of estate and then grieving.

[@patriciayohn6136]

My Mother took me to her lawyer's office with her, I did not like her lawyer and when she passed I called my lawyer who was an estate attorney and he said I could have her will transferred to him. So glad I did because when my attorney saw her will he knew immediately just how badly it was written and because of that her good for nothing boyfriend would have inherited far more than she really intended him to get. My lawyer was able to remediate the situation much closer to her real wishes. The lawyer who actually wrote her will was guilty of malpractice, unfortunately because of the amount of her estate it really didn't make financial sense to pursue a malpractice lawsuit against them.

[@anthesis1728]

Thank you for your kindness as evidenced by your efforts to produce these informative videos. You must have a very love motivated will .

[@carlhammill5774]

Hi Paul, I have two passions: 1) assisting people who are suffering (was RN for 12 years) and 2) passion for assets with unrealized potential (Vacant Land). How would you recommend going about getting leads for land that is about to go thru probate when family member has passed and owns land. Thank you