123: Coping With a Narcissistic Parent

“It’s part of our culture that we’re supposed to respect our parents, and I understand that that’s important. But sometimes that relationship does not work.”
As a child, did you absorb the belief that you’re not good enough. or that you don’t have the right to be your own person?

This is a telltale sign of having a narcissistic parent and the root issue behind other thought negative processes; issues around self-perception; and even one’s own parenting styles.

In this episode, I talk with clinical psychologist Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg, PsyD, who has personal experience in growing up with a narcissistic parent as well as a passion for helping others move forward from similar experiences. In this conversation, Dr. Kriesberg discusses what it’s like to have a narcissistic mother, and some of the dynamics inherent in this experience. She also dives into how to cope; and some of the misperceptions around having a narcissistic mother.

About Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg:
Located in New England, Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg is a clinical psychologist who helps parents, children, teens, and adults with narcissistic parents lead healthier, happier lives. She treats children, teens, and adults with anxiety disorders - including social anxiety, panic disorder and phobias. She has over 20 years of experience with extensive training in the treatment of anxiety disorders and in the use of clinical hypnosis.

Some Questions I Ask:
How did you get drawn to your work? (3:15) What does it mean for someone to be described as narcissistic? (5:11) How can you determine if your parent is narcissistic? (12:17) How does one cope with a narcissistic parent? (27:04) Does a narcissistic parent care if they ever see their children? (34:31) What do I need to look for in myself to break the cycle of narcissistic parenting? (39:40)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
What it means to have a healthy personality. (5:43) What gaslighting from a narcissistic parent looks like. (17:39) The pattern of inconsistent behaviors in public and behind closed doors. (21:14) Tools to help you find your voice. (30:05) How someone can protect themselves before, during, and after spending time with a narcissistic parent. (36:02) How narcissistic parents experience no-contact from children. (41:42)
Connect with Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg:
Website
Twitter

Resources:
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? By Dr. Karyl McBride
Wild Game by Adrienne Brodeur
Books by Dani Shapiro

[@granuailenavigatingchange]

I remember being so excited about finishing university and to be honest it was a miracle i had made it to never mind through university. And I remember the look and the demand that well that is over you got an education now you have to come home. I looked for years for support and still dread going back because it was so shameful and still denied. This has being amazing thank you for sharing.

[@fortheloveofthewhippetnijm8125]

Thank you! I made notes on my laptop while listening 🌻

[@Fiawordweaver]

I don’t see meditation link. I googled her website and still didn’t see the meditation link

[@borealiswan2363]

Observe, but don't absord, leave them alone, you can't help or change them

[@Bloominjules]

Great interview. Is there a meditation link? I thought someone mentioned it and a link to be found in the show notes.

[@ritahemmerly4224]

Respect is earnt not demanded. They are so sweet? I mentally say Then you dont know her.

[@ckjayzn]

Thank you for taking the time to have this important conversation. I was that kid - brave enough to speak up, but shamed for doing so. Wish this were translated in different languages. #cptsd

[@Sarahwithanh444]

This video is amazing, one of the best in fact! More people should listen to this. So much resonated with me and my experience, especially the part about going NC and the parent not receiving that well - I've been told that I'm the one with the problem, not them... Thank you for speaking out about this.

[@fortheloveofthewhippetnijm8125]

12:45 ohh i am 38 (exactly today) and I recognise it all. I am so damaged, I feel like I need to disappear, I find it very hard to stay conncted with people. She blamed me all the time, told me I just don't think about pain or feeling and go to work, you are just lazy, and gaslighting. Other people saying "your dad seems a cool man...". Somehow recently the situation repeated with my upstair neighbours for 1,5 year, making a lot of noise ar nights and totally devastating me. I tried to write letter, ring, stay nice, but after a while they even heard me cry of desperation and when I asked something they jumped extra on my roof. And told other neighbours I am mentally ill, who came to me already believing this. I find forest, guided visualisation, massaging my own hands.

[@russellm7530]

It sounds like Gangstalking. Zeph Daniel Jerimiah Cohen speak about it on KZbin.