#127

Ideas for Vow Renewals - Episode #127 In this episode, we answer two awesome listener emails!
First email:
French Lady
Hello! Love the podcast, and have only started listening to your podcast when my husband of 20 years decided that he wanted to do a vow renewal! I've gotten a lot of wonderful ideas regarding a wedding, but not a lot of information regarding a vow renewal. Since we have already had the big wedding years ago, I'd like to know what the etiquette is regarding a vow renewal??? Should we invite folk or not, do we need to have a reception or not, what role our parents would play, etc; We certainly don't need gifts, and I'm pretty sure that's something that's not appropriate to do anyway. I want to wear white (though I'm sure someone will snicker--I have three teenage kids!!!), but my heart is set on this. Should we do mailed invites or special photographs with a photographer, and what sort of things are the thing to do for a vow renewal? Would really, really love to hear some advice on this, though being over 40 I'll still do what I want regardless. :) Just wanted to know what sort of traditions or trends there are out there since I'm having a hard time finding ideas and information. Thanks in advance!
Who can? Anyone really. Who hosts? The couple or possibly the children or even the original MOH or Best Man Officiant? Anyone as it is not a legally binding ceremony Dress? Original gown, anything really. Skip the veil Wear white if you want, it's perfectly acceptable Attendants? Not necessary, but you could if you want. Original MOH or Best Man, Children, or Grandchildren Aisle escort? Father, Children, self or even husband. But there is no rule that a walk down the aisle even has to happen. Ceremony? Exchange vows, original, write new, rings, new or original, readings, singing, friends, family. Reception? Absolutely! Have a party, relaxed or formal is up to you! Invitations? Similar to a wedding but the host names are not at the top. The honor of your presence at the renewal of... Parent's roles? Can be same or different, maybe you want your parents to play "officiant" or possibly read a poem, or special toast. Totally up to your wants and their abilities. Gifts? Don't expect them or make a registry Cake? It's a party so yes of course! Or have fun desserts Guests? Yes, have guests, as many or as little as you want. Include them in your ceremony and reception. Let them tell funny and embarrassing stories of you and your spouse. Photography and videography? Yes! Toasts? Yes, make sure you thank everyone not only for coming but for enriching your life. When? Usually on big number anniversaries, or if you eloped and want to have the wedding experience. Second honeymoon? Of course! Or if you didn't have a first wedding take this opportunity to do it right! Second Email
Hey guys, Love the podcast! I had a question about flowers girls and ring bearers. Should they attend the rehearsal dinner? I have two ring bearers and two flower girls. If they do attend, how do you go about inviting their families? Do you have to? Out of our flower girls and ring bearers, three of the parents each have three children! Is it rude to say only parents and the child in the wedding attend, please find a babysitter for the other children? Or just include them all? Thank you!
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[@CrimsonRage87]

My husband and I got married when we were young and had very little money. We went down to the court house dressed in wedding attire and just made the best of it celebrating at my uncles backyard. We are getting close to our 10 year anniversary. Because I never received the dream ring or the dream wedding, we decided that we will go ahead and do the religious ceremony I always wanted and THIS time go all out. I still have my wedding dress. He already bought me the dream ring. Now I wait to see when he "pops" the question again. Thought that was cute. He will propose again. As if I changed my mind ahahahah. Never had a chance to have a maid of honor or bridesmaids. So I am excited and feeling young again.

[@citylightsilo]

Thinking about doing it but wanted to do something unique and original without breaking the bank

[@Komerican10]

I love this podcast!! I’m approaching my 20th anniversary (in a couple of years) and hubby and I definitely wanna do a vow renewal. Our wedding way back had some glitches:( DJ never announced us to the reception, and my limo (that was gifted to me) was an hour late picking me up for my photos before the wedding ceremony...there were ALOT of pics that I wanted that never got included, I wish I got a partial refund...seriously a let down. We got some great photos (couldn’t afford a videographer then) but i wish there was more of our wedding.

[@maryback-kc2hv]

My daughter and son are going to do our 40th anniversary renewal and she is going all out like it is a wedding is that good? I’m excited let me know.

[@CrazyKat12347]

Me and my husband got married in a court house and kind of did things hush hush and quick. Now we would like to do a vow renewal. Would it be okay to do a huge ceremony since we didn’t get one ?

[@FromRingtoVeil]

If you want an official ceremony with everyone in attendance, yes, do it!

[@autumnmoon6536]

Kristina Marie I say yes! We didn’t get to have a ceremony or reception either. We had to elope a state away. My brother was deployed, my husband’s entire family wasn’t there, we didn’t get to have friends there or most of my family and none of it was what I’ve always dreamed of and planned. So we’re having a vow renewal and celebration this fall for our 5 year anniversary and I’m going a little overboard lol but I think that’s fair. If you couldn’t have the wedding of your dreams, don’t let anyone tell you how to have your vow renewal 💜

[@kylabarnett1226]

What about a year after getting married ?

[@supersuperwendy]

This fall is our 25th anniversary, we are sailing on a beautiful Holland America ship to the Eastern Caribbean, I have arranged a surprise vow renewal on our actual anniversary while in St Thomas!! An invitation will be delivered to my husband inviting him to our ceremony. Here is what they include : Celebrate your enduring love with a vow renewal ceremony performed by the ship's captain. Package includes a small reception, flowers, photography and dinner for two at the Pinnacle Grill. The fee is only $200 which I think is a great value. I am going to wear a new dress for the ceremony (change of dress for dinner), hair down and beachy, debating on whether or not to bring new rings. My husband has not removed his ring in 25 years, so not sure if he'd even want a new one. I recently really wanted to tell him so we can plan together, but he said no no no he wants to know nothing about our anniversary cruise and wants to it to be 100% surprise. He doesn't even know what ship we are sailing or where we are sailing to!! I can't wait, he's going to cry!!

[@alohawhy]

Thank you

[@lindsays6233]

My husband and I will be doing this! Maybe each anniversary who knows lol we celebrate our marriage 😊❤💜🧡

[@vanessaorozco9035]

What kind of things can you do at a vowel renewal

[@nydiag6]

Good information. My children are hosting my 50th wedding anniversary.

[@FromRingtoVeil]

How sweet! Please pass this on to them. Congrats on 50 years, that's quite an accomplishment.

[@SRHMorbid]

I really want to do this, ive been married 1yr 7 months. I didnt have a good wedding, didnt get pictures done didnt do the first dance and it was very rushed. It makes me pretty sad. I dont want to spend a whole lot of money but i want the wedding i didnt get the first time. my only sibling was my sister(out of 3 siblings 2 inlaws and a bunch on nephews and nieces) my mom was talking crap about my dad the whole time. and this time around,,,itd be my mom her husband, my dad his gf and my dads wife and her husband. so the awkwardness will be strong. I didnt even have a honey moon, we have 3 kids we just went home...

[@Starsofneon]

Is it important to have the vow renewal on the same date as your origional wedding date? So that there is not a new anniversary date?

[@FromRingtoVeil]

Good question! No it doesn't have to be on the same date, it's totally up to you. This will not create a new anniversary as it's not a legal ceremony. Thank you for asking!

[@halimafernandez]

I have been married to my husband for 2years and his dream is to marry me again and again every year. But I want to surprise him on my birthday in two week on my birthday pls advice

[@wifeyb.9779]

Me and my husband eloped 13 years ago and want to do renewal what is etiquette on gift register

[@FromRingtoVeil]

Congrats! Because it's been so many years, you probably shouldn't have a gift registry.

[@dinapulido5704]

Basically do what ever you want lol

[@fabfox79]

If you first wedding was small and did not register, why can't you register for the vow renewal?

[@FromRingtoVeil]

Because the purpose of wedding gifts it to help the new couple set up their new home and life together. A vow renewal is usually years down the road and therefore there is no "setting up" of a home. So a register is frowned upon, but if the guest(s) want to gift it's totally up to them. But you still need to send a thank you card if they do ;)

[@tiffanysowellobama3863]

Baraka Tiffany OBAMA. RENEWAL OF AT MOUNT CARMEL BAPTIST CHURCH..PREACHING TO SAY IDO!ENGAGING IN VOWELS TO SAY..

[@sizzlinsenior]

What about rings?

[@FromRingtoVeil]

Totally up to you! If you two want to exchange rings, do it! But it isn't necessary.

[@Barneyjo]

sizzlinsenior Could have something inscribed on the inside of your wedding rings😃

[@summercastle1319]

What about rings?

[@FromRingtoVeil]

Hi Summer, it's totally up to the couple. Want new rings? Do it. Want to update and maybe redesign current rings? That's perfectly fine too!